I'm not who I was
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- Опубликовано: 8 апр 2024
- In today's video I share my heart on some tender matters and share how I'm changed. I'm not who I was. Today's Sponsor: Download the FREE Upside App at upside.app.link/jamerrill to get an extra 25 cents back for every gallon on your first tank of gas. You travel with me from the East Coast to the West Coast and back again as I speak about RUclips, Business, and Branding for a Christian Author Event in the Coastal Redwoods of California. I'm additionally super mega blessed at this event and the attendees, mentors and speakers. They loved me well, encouraged my heart, and built me up. It was just what my weary soul needed. The Lord is good. Blessings to you and yours! 💕
Thank you for traveling and this special journey with me today, friends 💕 Today's Sponsor: Download the FREE Upside App at upside.app.link/jamerrill to get an extra 25 cents back for every gallon on your first tank of gas.
You're doing so well chix. You won't know how well until you're looking back on this time. I pray for you and your family xoxo
Sending light and love your way. ❤
You are a inspiration for women
"Your mess is your message, your test is your teatimony" oh lady, that's beautiful.
yes i agree with you god is using her to get a message to all of us
Silent young (25yr old) viewer for years and I’ve always found so much comfort in these videos despite having 0 children however I’m sending you so much love. So so much love
Thank you, sunshine ☀️ ❤
Also a silent (23 year old) watcher and this woman is my THERAPY. I put her videos on to fall asleep. From her energy, the way she speaks, the way she talks about God. She was meant to heal, it’s clearly a gift of hers.
- to add, I say she’s a healer bc she does it without do anything at all. That’s how you know.
Girl if we all were who we were, there would be no growth!!! Man have I changed and am so thankful that I am not the person I once was! Praise to the Most High Father for getting me through
AMEN❣️❣️❣️❣️
Don't ever apologize for needing good things in your life. Your a strong woman, mom, warrior
Amen!!!!❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
The Lord will give you strength to get through anything. I’ve had 2 miscarriages, 18 surgeries, I lost my 20 year old daughter 3 years ago and now I’m battling leukemia and through it all he reminds me Psalm 46:5 GOD IS WITHIN HER SHE WILL NOT FAIL. God Bless ♥️
Best wishes to you ❤
Prayers to you 🙏🏻❤️🩹
❤
I pray you will be fine
@jeanette walton I am so sorry to hear what you have been going through. Please research on here "Goodbye Lupus with Dr. Brooke Goldner". She has helped soooo many people who have had many ailments and diseases who have come out on the other side. Look her up on here and binge on her videos. Watch as many as you can. I have no doubt it will help you with your condition/Leukemia. Blessings to you my friend.
You remind me of my mom. She went thru hell and came out carrying buckets of water that she threw on others. She was anointed by God and so are you. You speak life to dry bones just like it says in the Bible in Ezekiel. You are more than a conquer. God shines thru you. Thank you.
Hallelujah ❤❤❤
This was truly beautiful and actually hit Me with everything I've been going through even though the message wasn't to me I truly.felt it ...thank you for posting this comment
Ooooo maybe God will give you a word for me one day 😭😭🧎🏽♀️🙏❤️
'Worse case scenario, unknown future, God's already there'.
Thank you for saying this. I needed to hear that today.
I needed to hear that too. ❤️
SAME
He is faithful, indeed ❤
@@JamerrillStewart always!
I love Tricia Goyer. I read her quite often. Have fun. I'm sorry life is hard for you right now. One day at a time, Darling'. I've buried 2 sons. I know pain. I know you are in pain. God is near to the broken hearted.
So sorry ❤
I’m sorry you’ve had to endure that hun I watched my mother go through that when we lost my brother when he was 40 he was her baby boy I’m the oldest and it was terrible for me as he was my only sibling and we were so close but I felt worse for my mama ❤
I am Sorry for your losses. My heart goes out to you. I love That we can all pick each other up through this. I guess The web isn’t always dark.
Oh Sandra...I'm so terribly sorry. As a Mother, I can't even IMAGINE the pain of losing a child. I've always felt God has a "special place" in Heaven for those who have suffered that loss. Sending love and praying🙏 for the healing of your heart ❤️.
I'm just so sorry for your losses ❤
“You is kind, you is smart, you is important”. Virtual hugs.
😭 ❤
Love this movie this quote is from The Help lol.. definitely feel that about you jamerrill!! 💜💜✌️
I love The Help.
❤
I honestly do not know how people can get through this Life without God!!! He has always been my rock!! Sending love and prayers Jamerrill ❣️❣️❣️
I wonder if you truly understand how much you encourage and inspire so many mommas like us. Thank you for being real with us. This is why we love you. ❤😊
Thank you ❤❤❤
Can I add a "YES and Ameen" to that? I find her to be encouraging and comforting... I love our shared values, as one American Muslim Mama to my Christian Mama- friends.
Amen
As a momma whom has started over and had to reinvent myself at 35 every victory is a celebration. I dont know what your storm is but with the lord as your captain you will come threw better on the other side.
You are an absolute pioneer here, and with grace and dignity you have taken us threw YEARS of education.
Thank you lady.... ❤
Jamerrill my sweet lady , the devil can’t take us out so he tries to wear us out. Don’t u dare get tired. Keep the faith xx
The trials of life! Married badly at 21, 2 kiddos and 5 years later divorced, at 30 met the love of my life and lost him to heaven at 52. Have sone amazing grands and neices & nephews that keep me young. Still single and living well at 70. When you are in it, you think it will never pass or you don't realize how wonderful your life is until that ends (or you think it ends). Just keep walking ahead, taking care of yourself, loving all your oiddos and know that the Lord has a plan for you, even if it is to live with no 'life partner'. Lots of ❤ and 🙏.
It's hard walking through new journeys. I'm a 76 year old woman in the process of divorce. First time in my life being on my own. Scary, but I know God has me in his hands and will guide me to the other side. Keep the faith and be strong whatever you're going through.
❤ needed to hear this today 😢😢😢
Prayers for you
❤Amen❤
Girl none of us have our shit together fully. I hope it’s nothing that can’t be solved. ❤
Jamerrill, you inspire me! I am an-almost 67-year-old Southern Louisiana woman who has been following you on RUclips for several years. Oh, how I wish YOU and RUclips had been around when we were raising our four children. You are strong and beautiful, and you have handled life’s challenges with dignity and grace. Your calm demeanor and quiet sense of humor are what we love most about you. Never apologize for being you!
Jamerrill it breaks my heart to see you cry...You dont need to divulge anything you dont feel comfortable sharing,just know that you have all of us rooting for you.We have all been through messes in life,its part of us being human. I love your content,its interesting and helpful...So thank you and chin up.❤
I appreciate that 💗💗💗
I second all this.
"When life is more than you can stand...Kneel"
I have this on a sign in my home ♥
Don’t ever apologize for those tears! Our Heavenly Father knows every one of those tears!
Amen he dose well said ❤
After 23 yrs of marriage , I ended up divorced. When you go out alone , carry a silk scarf with you. Carry it in one hand. That is you / me holding God's hand. We'll never alone. Thanks for sharing your trip. Never been to California but the views you shared are wonderful. God Is Good .
I'm so very proud of you and impressed by your courage. I suffer from agoraphobia and anxiety. I can't even admit how many times I've driven to a place and sat in my car unable to go in and ultimately just driving home again. Please be proud of who you are. There are many who only dream of accomplishing what you do and have done. Please pray for me and as always you and your family are in my prayers. Stay golden and true to yourself. Your sharing opens doors, thank you for that. Daily courage doesn't always come easy.
Love, peace and kindness to your heart Jamerrill. ❤️🙏🏻🌏☮️
He NEVER leaves you nor forsakes you. One step at a times. Hugs and prayers!!! ❤❤❤
You are not changing beloved; you are growing ❤️ HE has a plan. Thank you for sharing your journey. ❤️
Ive been following your channel for several years. As a 63 yr old woman who's experienced abuse, abandoment, loss, chronic illness, and trauma, including having my life "hanging in the balance" between life and death, I know it's only with my faith/trust in the Lord and the prayers of those in Heaven and on Earth I am here to tell the tale. Hang on, my dear. Our God is one of many graces, wonders, and miracles. I promise you will not only get on the other side of this, but go on to help others as a result of all you've endured. One day, when your book is published, I hope to be among the many who read it. Sending love❤ and healing prayers🙏 from Connecticut. GOD BLESS.
Your comment is also me...Prayer is my 1st n most ..I've was raised in disfunction, I refused raise mine in such..Since 08' I lol( instead of tears) my vacation is the days I'm admitted to the hospital, ( to many times)..God outside his hand on all, to keep us strong, to continue to be there for our children, removes those not worthy of us, & children...We feel all is upside down, but we strong ones speed through & can take a toll in private..Bravery in the face of others...
@ElizabethGontkovic-uq4mw Healing Prayers being sent your way Elizabeth.🙏
Sending a the love and prayers from Germany. I've been a silent watcher for years. No kids, 2 person household.. I don't even eat meat so I barely could cook your recipe's, but somehow you just bring peace in my life with your videos and I am thankful for that. Sending a warm hug to whoever needs and reads this!
Sometimes I'm not sure if the person I am today is who I really am or if I became the person I am in order to survive.
That just spoke to my heart🤗❤🙏🏾
You put words into how I feel sometimes.
I’m definitely not who I was at 18 if I were there would be no growth or maturity.
Yes... same. ❤
Well said.😊
Same
Halfway through and I feel you girl. I’m ending my 40 yr marriage this year after finding that for @30 yrs my husband was leading a double life. Jesus is faithfully walking this out with me and I’m amazed what the Holy Spirit can do! Much love and prayers. ❤
🙏🏽
I first found your channel in 2020 when I was pregnant for the first time and felt so alone while choosing to self isolate as much as possible. I lost my mom in 2013 and missed her presence sooo much during that time. You have been a constant friend and momma figure for me for 4 years. We are made to change! I'm so grateful for the journeys you've shared with us and the vulnerability you've had. We love you, Jammerrill! All glory to God!
Sweet girl, I've been following you for several years. Im 66, never married, no children, but i love your content. Your love of family and the Lord are a beacon to the faithful. Keep on cooking, and loving, and sharing with all of us. You're doing fabulously well!!! We're all praying for you and the kids. ❤🙏❤️🙏
U really touched my heart when u said whatever way ur life is going the Lord is already there...I got teary eyed u touched my heart AMEN!! Im so thankful that he is there!! ❤
Just saw your CA trip. Wife and I think you do an awesome job with your videos. We also pray for you, and your family. Remember, if the Lord brings you to it, He'll bring you through it.
God Bless You, ma'am.
I know you're in pain. But you are still letting the light through. I find myself always in awe of your heart and even in despair you are so full of His light. It's okay to be a mess and I'm sure there are days you just can't function. We still see you trying, doing, serving Him, being a great mother and friend.
“Whatever that unknown future is, He’s already there”. This hit me so very hard tears filled my eyes and a lightness filled my heart. Thank you for this. I have felt the constant heaviness of uncertainty for so long it’s become overwhelming but that statement, “He’s already there”, brings hope that I’m not alone. Thank you for that reassurance 🤍
Because He lives, we can face tomorrow 😊
Jamerrill, whatever you are going through is apparently making you much stronger and giving you a beautiful glow. In all of the years I have been following your journey you have never seemed healthier or looked more beautiful. Keep your chin up!
Thank you for sharing your life and your soul. Sending, hugs, love and prayers. Remember to give yourself Grace. ❤ Your feelings are valid! You never have to apologize for your tears ❤
Oh girl please know your journey is yours and people know that. You are amazing! Love, faith and support being sent your way.
Immediately read your video title and thought, Girl, I'm not either 😂❤❤❤
Me either 😂
My brother and father were diagnosed and being treated in hospital in cancer within a few months of each other....definitely changed me...I haven't been the same ever since. It caused trauma but it also made me aware that health is your wealth, family is your wealth, life is precious and to be grateful for any little good thing or achievement in your life.
I was a stay at home mum with 2 young children when life as I knew it fell apart. The worry of how I was going to keep my children feed and pay bills kept me up at night, after many tears spilt I found a job worked hard got a promotion overtime. Years later my children are doing well I'm debt free and living a good life, it was not easy many times I didn't think I would ever come to the surface and breath again. Jesus was telling me I'm beside you just let me lead you, I'm so happy I listened.
Jamerill, you are such an incredibly strong and faithful woman. You’re not who you were. But what you are and will always be is a kind, loving, caring and devoted Mom and beautiful woman. Please don’t ever feel like you’ve got to share certain things. Just because you’re on RUclips doesn’t mean you don’t get to protect yourself and your children. You’ve always been such a protective Mom and an inspiration. I’d love to read any book you write! Praying for you! Susan ❤🙏
Hey Jamerrill, you got this girl❤❤❤, you're such an inspiration to so many of us. ❤ from South Africa
Thank you for showing up- we are all tender for one reason or another and it means a lot to see you pulling on your cowgirl boots and keepin' on truckin'! Love you friend! xo
Always remember different does not equal wrong or bad. It means growth and change like the seasons. Feel your feelings, be you, and explore the you that is new. Value YOU and that will never be wrong. Hugs lady!
Amen to that ❤
I’ve been following you for so many years. You’ve always given me joy and laughter. With your videos it feels like I am in your kitchen, just chatting with you and feeling at home. I am sure I am not the only one you give that feeling. I hope you know how much we appreciate you and wish you the best. Lots of love from a Muslim sister ❤
Please don't apologise for growing and changing, you are becoming who God knows you can be in this season. I'm so very proud of you prioritizing your needs too, you are teaching your children their needs will matter too.
Just signed papers last month ending a 13 year union to a bishop… it is the most heart breaking hard thing to do when u have tried ur hardest… my spiritual life has been on the floor and struggling to reconnect with God… you inspire me… I always say God doesn’t give us more than we can handle and one day I will give my testimony and it might help someone… narcissist survivor with children who need me… you got this girl… we got this… ❤ u in Jesus name…
You will be okay, give your self time to heal. Always remember it’s okay to stop and take time away from your issues and situations. May God bless you and your family.
Everyone will go into the wilderness. Just know who is with you while you’re going through it. Thank you Lord!
You look so happy and like you are taking on the world. ❤
I'm an atheist (and a Brit) so can't offer prayers but I have watched you for years and always enjoyed your drive and send you hugs and love. Just do what's in front of you and don't let things overwhelm you. Every day at a time lovely lady.
Oh, please get to know Jesus! He died and rose from the dead for you. Eternity is coming.
Life is too hard not to search for the Prince of Peace…Jesus!
He's waiting.for you , and I promise it's a peace beyond understanding ❤
Also an atheist who thoroughly enjoys watching Jamerill. While I’m very content in my lack of belief, her heart and spirituality is a beautiful and comforting things.
Thank you, jamerill for being such a peaceful place to rest my brain for a while, and I wish you all the peace, love, and goodness you bestow on your viewers.
Jammerill you are a beautiful wonderful human being, thank you for all you do. God Bless 🙏
Patricia
Jammerill don't apologize for having tears or a cry for that matter. You are human and have been through a lot in the last few months
My motto (when asked how I am) as a mom of 13 “focusing on the good, because if I start complaining, I might not stop”
It is well. God's got you.🙏❤ Much love and blessings
There’s something healing about nature and I’m so glad you got to spend time in it .
I don’t know you but I just love your content! I’m sorry 😞 you’re walking through this trial. I too have been there and admire how you’re handling everything for your children. Privacy is golden. I promise you: you’ll be fine and stronger on the other side ❤
I agree
I was thinking the same thing.
Thank you for those kind and encouraging words, friend ❤❤❤
Been there...and unfortunately...got that tshirt...stay strong...trust me...there is alot more sunshine and happiness and healing in your immediate future...you are already and will continue to become a stronger and beautiful example for your children.❤❤
I understand this place you are in your life. Keeping you and your family in my prayers. When we are st a crossroads, or can’t see the forest for the trees it is in this time of darkness our heart is open to the lord. We can not know the light with out the darkness. You know this but sometimes we need to here it. You are a warrior do not fear because God only allows battles to his strongest warriors
It's okay to feel, it helps us grow! You are one of the few people I actually look up to. Your vulnerability only makes you stronger and wizer!
We are stronger than we think we are, after 30 years of marriage my husband decided to leave me for someone else. So I couldn’t function for weeks but I started climbing out of the pain and now I’m back better than ever and I am not the same person anymore. You are so strong and beautiful and God has a plan for you
Ive been on the road to getting better too. I lost my son who was 21 in a car accident and then lost my husband to cancer a couple of years later. Just last August my 20 year old grandson committed suicide. He was living with me at the time. I think I'm coming out on the other side. God has been holding my hand through this all. I do understand going through the whole process of healing. Hugs and prayers and lots of love to you. ❤
I’m so very very sorry for your losses 💗
Life is full of changes, it is best to adapt and move forward as best you can. Some of us have a "Forest Gump" life.
❤Your testimony ,how you're leaning on the LORD, is an encouragement for me.
One of my favorite moms on RUclips, I love you honey. Your life is yours to divulge or not. We see and know your life is different from before. I applaud you for coming back as soon as you have. Pray into the next season. 🙏🏽 🙏🏽 🙏🏽
Thank you sunshine!!
Hey Babe! Life and the People in it Sometimes Turns On Us! Your doing what's best for You! Looking fantastic while its being done! Keep Lovin You!!
Jamerille, you do not need to apologize for your tears. You have been through a lot this past year. I am just glad that you are back on RUclips.
Even in your hurting/healing the love & light of the Lord shines through you so beautifully 🩷Thank you for sharing these tender moments and being an inspiration to us!
You are in a tough season. I went through one at age 42, with two school aged children still. It was rough rough and I definitely changed. But as I look back at age 69, I realize it was actually for the better, though in the dark season it did not feel better . We are here for you, please know that. Thank you for taking us along on this trip.
So glad you’ve opened up as much as you can to us . Been seeing in your eyes your struggling. Being a mum and going through challenges is so incredibly hard . I’ve been fighting cancer and a chronic illness for the last 6 years and I know too well you don’t get to pause life to process . Proud of you for challenging your self
Love your channel
Looking forward to videos to come ❤❤❤❤
Oh I just want to give you a hug ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I went to a retreat last November, restore your heart. After having a season of grief and hurt I needed to spend time with the Lord, nature, brothers and sisters in Christ, absolutely wonderful and blissful....
The Lord is with you precious lady xxx
We serve an awesome God ! So happy you were able to participate in the conference and have your spirit lifted ! Prayers ! 💖🙏🏼
Glad you took that trip! Thanks for taking us along. At age 69, I look back and see how I am not the person I was. At age 42, with two school age children, I went through a very rough season that I believe really changed me. But really overall, for the better. But while you are slogging it out, it is tough. That period of life can be a tough season. We care about you out here, and are here for you.
what a blessing the huge trees so pretty the woods thanks for sharing.
Sending love. As long as you learn as you move down your path… you are doing ok. 💕
You’re videos are always a happy comfort to me, especially during my hardest times. Thank you for posting throughout yours 💕
"bags under the eyes," she says, with a gorgeous face of make up, perfect hair, looking put together as all get out❤ you're doing fine, Miss Jamerrill. Just fine.
I can totally agree with the title of this vlog, “I’m not who I was”
I had something life changing happen to me 6.5 years ago, I’m so very different to who I was, it’s been a very tough road to tread but I’m about there on my new journey of “who I am now” ❤
It is hard to type this, but when you teared up, I teared up. Your pain, your life changes, everything resonates with so many of us. How blessed we are to have the Lord! We can lean on him no matter our circumstances. We are here for you Jamerrill, all 377,000 of us 😊 what a friend group you have! We look forward to new adventures with you! Remember, you are loved! 💙
🥹🥹🥹 thank you so very much!!
Wow!! You’re an incredible, amazing beautiful person 🥰
Your words of your journey that you’re going through right now speak so much volume to so many people that are hurting right now and are desperate and needs to hear some kind of hope that God will be there at the end of it.
I don’t know if you realize it but you carry a lot of light in your transparency to people going through some life-changing events
wanting something to cling to
Jamerille , your words and reminder that God is in it, and he’s there at the end of it all
totally impacted me today. I can just imagine what it’s done for other people
we love you, Girl
we got you and your beautiful family covered in prayer.
Thank you for being brave enough to speak out and share some of your deep heartaches and step-by-step every day God is getting you through all of it❤
I think a lot of us, after we get through the hardest times, are so grateful to come out the other side different. I know I am. I think of past me and am so sorry for what had to be gone through but I’m so happy it got me to where I am now. Hopefully you get through sooner rather than later but know all of us will gladly support you through it.
Love you so much. You have no idea how much I appreciate this.
Hi Jamerrill, when I was married and raising my kids, I was ashamed that I could only afford to shop at thrift stores and Walmart and Costco. For some reason, I thought I should have been able to buy them "better" and more expensive things. I homeschooled my kids as well. I felt like I wasn't doing enough. Your sweet videos helped me see that what I was doing back then, when my babies were little, was pretty darn good! I wish I had known you then. Please know that you reach so many people by being who you are and doing what you do. Thank you for helping me heal that part of my life. Bless you!
I have been watching you for years, I’ve listened to you and your ups and down from childhood thru adult. I’m so glad that you have been able to pull you and your children thru this turmoil you been going thru. His has blessed you with the comfort and the desire to get to the other side. I see the strength you have build up to make it to the other side. Bless you and your family.
For over 4yrs now, I've laughed, cried and found peace with your videos and words.. When I had treatment for a reoccurrence of cervical cancer, your videos got me through it.. Thank you.. Your message in this video has hit me hard - my future is uncertain, I don't know how long it will be, but God does, so I need to trust him, and not worry.. THANK YOU.. Much love and peace to you, from New Zealand xx
What a journey, sweetie. I’m honored you’ve found peace in my videos. Here’s to the future that the Lord holds 💗💗💗
I am so proud of you and we have every right to reinvent our lives and it’s a wonderful lesson to your children - life is full of pivots ❤ I have been through a major life switch and my sons learned that we cannot control the storm but we can adjust the sails 💪
No matter what the changes in our life take place God is always with us. You just keep in mind that he is leading at all times. Bless you and we are holding you and your family before him in prayer. ❤
You are so strong and brave, do not let anything pull you downJammeril, God bless❤very inspiring vlog
I truly hope that time and your children will help you heal. You are inspiration to so many. Love your content.
I am a catastrophic thinker. Nurse for 45 years and seeing how life can quickly change. Love to you and lean into Him like you are doing ❤️
Isn't it wonderful the things we learn in the pain? Those lessons are never wasted! You and others will need that wisdom. God bless you dear one!
You’re never alone… God is always with you. I love the new you, you’re stronger, you’re amazing! You are loved. God bless you
My husband and I love watching your channel because you are so authentic!!! Love you and can't wait to see what the future holds for you. God knows all about it! He has a plan and a purpose. Life is forever changing even when it's not what we thought it would be. God bless you, dear sister!
I am so happy you took the time to feed your soul and were nourished . Just keep swimming 🐠🐟🐠 sweetie.✨️💖✨️ You and the lord have got this❤❤
You’re right, you are not who you used to be. But also, you are not who you used to be. Hugs to you my dear friend.
I'm so proud of you for getting to a place where you can do something for yourself, that makes you happy. I've been going through something super difficult for a few months and had PTSD and didn't feel like I would ever get back to myself. Then I planted some chives and it reminded me of when I was a kid and my mom would send me outside to get chives for the salad and it just made my heart happy. It was the first thing that made me happy in a long time. I just know whatever you feel is okay. It's okay to be sad, mourn, rest, cry, pray. God will be there when you are broken hearted. ❤
You are loved. We are here for whatever you are able or are willing to share. You have lifted us up when we needed it. We all have a story. I do hope you write a book someday, I know that digging that deep might be excruciating for sure. It’s horrible being strong all the time but you have for sure this quality. You Jamerrill , we’re put on this earth for special things. You have achieved that already even if you stopped right now. I’m hugging you. I love and admire you. Nothing but goodness and prayers coming your way❤
Love you mama ❤Stay strong.
So glad to see you posted this! And glad to see you having some time for yourself!🥰 what a beautiful place.😊🙏🏻❤️
Jamerrill, please don’t ever think you have to apologize for tearing up or crying. Although we don’t know what you’ve been through, we understand it was life changing. I enjoy all of your videos. Thank you for bringing us on your trip with you. May God bless you and comfort you.
Jamerrill, your transparency is truly remarkable. Keep going! You’re only human, but I admire your strength. Many blessings ❤️❤️❤️