Taskmaster Quotes I use Every day Part 2

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  • Опубликовано: 30 июл 2021
  • The first part did really well and I love making these quote compilations so here’s part 2!! (More Mike in this one!!!) Of course none of the clips are mine, they all belong to Taskmaster and Channel 4
    Taskmaster RUclips: / taskmaster

Комментарии • 136

  • @abj6920
    @abj6920 2 года назад +1450

    I'm laughing so hard because half of these aren't quotes but I totally understand what you mean

    • @MondayMorningPress
      @MondayMorningPress 2 года назад +3

      How are they not quotes?

    • @abj6920
      @abj6920 2 года назад +59

      @@MondayMorningPress I wouldn't call "smiles for a full minute" or "weeee wooooo" or the tree wizard song or the whole... hemorroid moment quotes, but I fully understand how the energy of them can be quoted

    • @DonQuiKong
      @DonQuiKong 2 года назад +16

      @@abj6920 Are you trying to convince people that certain phrases are not quotes by quoting these very phrases?

    • @abj6920
      @abj6920 2 года назад +11

      @@DonQuiKong Uhhhh, did not understand the sentence, I mean that a lot of these are noieses and moments of the show where someone does something

    • @peoplecallmepeechez
      @peoplecallmepeechez Год назад +3

      ​​@@abj6920 I think he's trying to show you the whole context of the quote. The hemroid one is probably its like a casserole down there. But wee woo and the smile for sure aren't quotes. References yeah but I'd agree not a quote

  • @rhymesmcfist900
    @rhymesmcfist900 2 года назад +1426

    There was truly a period where i said "bastards crying innit" every single day with no prompting or reason

    • @abj6920
      @abj6920 2 года назад +28

      Bastard's crying innit

    • @TheEvilCheesecake
      @TheEvilCheesecake Год назад +2

      yes, we all go through stupid phases when we're young don't we.

    • @shethjrebbell
      @shethjrebbell Год назад +10

      @@TheEvilCheesecake you need some balloons in your life. Cheer ya right up.

    • @TheEvilCheesecake
      @TheEvilCheesecake Год назад

      @@shethjrebbell balloon these nuts.

  • @rebelske
    @rebelske 2 года назад +667

    i love the person who is just CACKLING at the top of their lungs when Paul says "bastard's crying innit"

  • @Pamelalrene
    @Pamelalrene 2 года назад +555

    "What happens when you wear opera gloves and a feather boa to the senior school disco? ... You do not get fingered."

    • @AM-hz8xv
      @AM-hz8xv 2 года назад +45

      Anyway- my wife Nelly.

    • @Tkieron
      @Tkieron 2 года назад +56

      "It's frustrating, isn't it Greg, when you're asked to complete tasks under pressure and there's a lot of people watching?"

  • @mcknackus4721
    @mcknackus4721 Год назад +360

    The fact that Wozniak delivered that Absolute Casserole line with a completely straight face while everyone else died of laughter is a true accomplishment.

    • @UnshavenStatue
      @UnshavenStatue Год назад +10

      that's one of the best moments in comedy history i have to think, when you send 6 of your professional peers completely to space lol

  • @sianvaladian8574
    @sianvaladian8574 2 года назад +532

    'Bastard's crying innit?' genuinely changed my life I don't know what else to say

    • @shethjrebbell
      @shethjrebbell Год назад +9

      The cackle from that one audience member just sells it lol

  • @shfjhfddududhd150
    @shfjhfddududhd150 2 года назад +539

    idk if you already did this but “I’ve got three sensitivity levels! And I’ll be honest, I’m on my THIRD FUCKING ONE.”

    • @abj6920
      @abj6920 2 года назад +26

      I think about that every single day. Ed just has an ENERGY

    • @gwinnellheald8592
      @gwinnellheald8592 2 года назад +7

      I've not seen much taskmaster but I just KNEW this was Ed

    • @Ar4BellaC
      @Ar4BellaC 2 года назад

      I was thinking exactly this when I started the vid :)

    • @j3sSM4iN
      @j3sSM4iN 2 года назад

      Was looking for this comment🤣

    • @cait812
      @cait812 2 года назад +2

      Also the: started making it, had a breakdown, bon appetit

  • @blockpartyrobotleague
    @blockpartyrobotleague 2 года назад +362

    "He's eaten his own son; which is an act of...?"
    "Happiness?"

    • @frazzyblue1384
      @frazzyblue1384 Год назад +4

      THE SQUEAK I SQUAKED 😂 ITS MIDNIGHT UR GONNA GET ME KILLED

  • @jhugs4books227
    @jhugs4books227 2 года назад +853

    not exactly sure how you quote Joe Lycett smiling but I’ll probably attempt it every day now

    • @christianwise637
      @christianwise637 2 года назад +72

      "16 lovely smiles and 4 difficult poo faces."

    • @bobothn
      @bobothn 2 года назад +35

      I am more curious of how he quotes Mike dislodging a hemorid while he tried to fart.

    • @jhugs4books227
      @jhugs4books227 2 года назад +19

      @@bobothn “a tiny tiny tiny tiny little pop”

    • @fetzie23
      @fetzie23 2 года назад +6

      @@bobothn unnnngghh - plip

    • @andreaskarlsson5251
      @andreaskarlsson5251 10 месяцев назад +4

      I want to know whst kind of situations people scream st others about hippos and elephants having a unique tail.. 😅

  • @CucumberpatchAddict
    @CucumberpatchAddict 2 года назад +338

    Mawaan quietly crawling on the floor at 0:23 is the perfect representation of me watching this video

    • @chelseawildflowerloftinwey1945
      @chelseawildflowerloftinwey1945 2 года назад +14

      once I started watching the other team in that clip I found a depth of laughter I didn’t know existed

  • @tobyw2u2348
    @tobyw2u2348 2 года назад +167

    I genuinely, constantly say "What's the situation" now, in non ironic contexts. Knowing that the entire panel agreed it doesn't sound like how humans talk has infected me somehow

  • @peterclarke7240
    @peterclarke7240 Год назад +40

    "It's an absolute casserole down there" remains one of the greatest lines ever delivered in the history of comedy. So graphic, so eloquent, and so completely absurd. 😂

  • @PattyO.N.Company
    @PattyO.N.Company 2 года назад +42

    that lady's mind completely breaking when paul says "Bastards cryin innit."

  • @Yammenkow
    @Yammenkow 2 года назад +145

    Needs Aisling's "Dignity intact" and "Nish Kumar as I live and breathe"

    • @j3sSM4iN
      @j3sSM4iN 2 года назад +18

      And nish’s oh shit and piss

    • @barneymetcalfe8896
      @barneymetcalfe8896 Год назад +1

      “I always knew it would end this way”

  • @sheepkillindog
    @sheepkillindog 2 года назад +97

    I periodically find myself singing “Tree Wizard” and sometimes even Team Funks’ “Taskmaster the music-ah-al!!!”

    • @j3sSM4iN
      @j3sSM4iN 2 года назад +4

      I always sing over ma shoulder🤣

    • @iblame_nargles
      @iblame_nargles 2 года назад +8

      Rosaline is a fucking nightmare 😌

    • @sheepkillindog
      @sheepkillindog 2 года назад +1

      @@j3sSM4iN same!!!!!

  • @abiwright2726
    @abiwright2726 2 года назад +42

    I must say “bastard’s crying init” at least once a day at this point

  • @Drowninginantimatter
    @Drowninginantimatter 2 года назад +42

    “Powerful homoeroticism there, really enjoyed that”

    • @Ar4BellaC
      @Ar4BellaC 2 года назад

      Fuck yes we need that

    • @j3sSM4iN
      @j3sSM4iN 2 года назад +2

      And him calling russell sexy in the darts challenge😂

  • @zombkillrb
    @zombkillrb 2 года назад +20

    one of my favorites is what jessica knappett said to james acaster during an in studio task, "you're a sneaky little fucker arnt cha" in her irish accent

    • @leec6707
      @leec6707 22 дня назад +1

      Jessica Knappett isn't Irish.

  • @Augustsnaps
    @Augustsnaps 2 года назад +25

    "My foot is just the hand of the leg" - Phil Wang

    • @tymonster183
      @tymonster183 Год назад +1

      The ears are the eyes of the side of the head

  • @sl0wtwn
    @sl0wtwn 2 года назад +39

    absolutely in love with how u kept that insane laugh after 'bastards crying innit'

  • @terranceparsons5185
    @terranceparsons5185 2 года назад +80

    An absolute casserole down there is the best by far.

  • @Chodorovski
    @Chodorovski 2 года назад +23

    ...my eyes are circles?

  • @willisverynice
    @willisverynice 2 года назад +84

    My favorite part was when you suggest that you quote joe lycetts smiles.

  • @emilyharmon8394
    @emilyharmon8394 2 года назад +26

    “Whole lotta pie!!!” I quote that daily.

  • @Dylan-pq3ny
    @Dylan-pq3ny 2 года назад +211

    I was able to quote every clip of Mike within the first frame of each clip of him. I have a problem.

    • @DJWildArt
      @DJWildArt  2 года назад +26

      It’s never a problem when it’s Mike 😌

    • @Dylan-pq3ny
      @Dylan-pq3ny 2 года назад +9

      @@DJWildArt so true bestie. r/MikeWozniak is my safe haven

    • @chayimweinstock443
      @chayimweinstock443 2 года назад +5

      this being Mike, you're not the only one

    • @sfshinz
      @sfshinz 2 года назад

      “Tick tock, it’s tough guy o’clock.”

    • @chelseawildflowerloftinwey1945
      @chelseawildflowerloftinwey1945 2 года назад +2

      @@Dylan-pq3ny !!! I started r/MikeWozniak! seeing this comment in the wild means so much!

  • @Ar4BellaC
    @Ar4BellaC 2 года назад +25

    Charlotte having that much fun and greg calling her out is so personal to me😂😂

  • @chancematters
    @chancematters 2 года назад +29

    I think everything James Acaster said on the taskmaster show is a beautiful quote

    • @rhysw5316
      @rhysw5316 2 года назад +8

      My eyes are circles?

    • @Ar4BellaC
      @Ar4BellaC 2 года назад +5

      Heck yeah bebeh

    • @j3sSM4iN
      @j3sSM4iN 2 года назад +5

      Ooh one of dems ma fweend

  • @sfshinz
    @sfshinz 2 года назад +8

    “There’s strength in arches. There’s strength…in arches.”

  • @qwertyTRiG
    @qwertyTRiG 2 года назад +50

    Mawaan finding a loophole in the cocktail task is also a beautiful moment

  • @AlecDouglas
    @AlecDouglas 2 года назад +19

    “It’s not often you see a man dissing Christ surrounded by pizzas.”

  • @tessaw129
    @tessaw129 2 года назад +152

    great video!!! if you ever do a part 3 you should do “am i the spider?”

  • @abbyj4108
    @abbyj4108 2 года назад +15

    Ah yes my favourite TaskMaster quote: ‘Joe Lycett smiling’

  • @danielthebingham
    @danielthebingham 2 года назад +7

    One more I'd suggest is "All vol, no cano". I think about it once a week

  • @wohlhabendermanager
    @wohlhabendermanager 2 года назад +8

    As a software developer, I find myself saying "What's the situation" more and more each day.

  • @stanallthemsnoms6102
    @stanallthemsnoms6102 2 года назад +3

    I think Daisy's outburst really distracted everyone from whatever the fuck Katherine's "chicken" was

  • @joelatkin1214
    @joelatkin1214 2 года назад +26

    Starkid and Taskmaster content?? I think you’re my new favourite channel

  • @meacrisp1699
    @meacrisp1699 2 года назад +7

    Daisy getting narked at the hippo drawing kills me 😭😭

    • @Ar4BellaC
      @Ar4BellaC 2 года назад +2

      Yess except we missed the best bit i actually hate u more than my husband 😂

  • @Mudpluggs
    @Mudpluggs 2 года назад +6

    my eyes are circles

  • @camsanders85
    @camsanders85 Год назад +1

    Mike Wozniak is treasure

  • @Rosslefrancais
    @Rosslefrancais 2 года назад +6

    This is so unbelievably iconic. I love this

  • @LegalVampire
    @LegalVampire Год назад +1

    yesss I genuinely love to quote "You've got no huzzpah, your organisational skills are lackluster and your timekeeping is abysmal."

  • @bluejadeblue
    @bluejadeblue 2 года назад +2

    the way this channel is a starkid and taskmaster channel lets my worlds collide beautifully

  • @JayJay-17
    @JayJay-17 2 года назад +1

    “You have to huztpa (not sure how to spell it)” stayed with me and popped in my head for days after I say it.

  • @beesree39
    @beesree39 2 года назад +2

    Mike Wozniak is a beautiful man

  • @chancematters
    @chancematters 2 года назад +26

    You got the “just open the box” from Acaster but you stopped right before he got pulled aside by Father Task and spoken to about his behavior? Bruh

  • @megananderson8740
    @megananderson8740 2 года назад

    I really appreciate this video, I needed this x

  • @weasleyandfivesimp6972
    @weasleyandfivesimp6972 2 года назад +2

    Pls when I heard James say that for the first time I fell in love for no reason 💀

  • @briannaledsome
    @briannaledsome 27 дней назад

    Undermining the Vole is my favorite bit from all of TM.

  • @deovolente5867
    @deovolente5867 2 года назад +4

    My god, I need more

  • @kittycattt93
    @kittycattt93 2 года назад +2

    I find myself doing Joe Lycetts smiles more and more often each day 😂

  • @luuketaylor
    @luuketaylor 2 года назад +1

    Yessss, the final clip is what I had been waiting for.

  • @heppolo
    @heppolo 2 года назад +1

    bastard's cryin', innit is the ultimate taskmaster tagline

  • @chrissiem3958
    @chrissiem3958 Год назад

    Despite the fact that he said, 'its an absolute casserole down there,' AND its been 2 years since, I still to this day have a crush on Mike Wozniak 😅💖🥰

  • @harryturner8701
    @harryturner8701 2 года назад +1

    “Barstad crying innit” 😂😂😂😂😂

  • @migacmagic6675
    @migacmagic6675 20 дней назад

    "I AM NOT A CROOK"

  • @willhargreaveshf
    @willhargreaveshf Год назад +1

    Mike Wozniak is top tier taskmaster contestant, right next to Bob and James

  • @tovateodorsson4297
    @tovateodorsson4297 2 года назад +14

    please!! what episode is the ”you’re a concious being” “oh i’m so sorry” from??

  • @SunnyB_adventures
    @SunnyB_adventures Год назад

    'I am apoplectic with rage' will always be the best part of the Daisy bit to me

  • @hannahbrown2728
    @hannahbrown2728 Год назад

    God I forgot how great Wozniak was. Youve got no hutzpah! And its an absolute casserole down there. Classics

  • @jmcdonald.1998
    @jmcdonald.1998 2 года назад +20

    “This show… is an absolute scam”

    • @jmcdonald.1998
      @jmcdonald.1998 2 года назад +2

      Along with “now imagine that on the cutting room floor”

    • @lrrroftheplanetomicronpersei8
      @lrrroftheplanetomicronpersei8 Год назад

      "In the final, I'm gonna wear a t-shirt that reads 'This show is a SCAM'..
      SNIP THAT OUT YA PRICK!"

  • @BethHillierxyla
    @BethHillierxyla 2 года назад +2

    My eyes are circles !

  • @SuicidalLemonade
    @SuicidalLemonade Год назад

    absolute cassarole is now in my daily vocabulary

  • @AlmondXIII
    @AlmondXIII 2 года назад +1

    I have used the phrase “absolute casserole down there” since it aired.

  • @ilikeexxs
    @ilikeexxs 2 года назад +1

    I was going to be wildly upset if "bastard's cryin, innit?" Didn't make the cut hahah

  • @LittlePrairieLibrary
    @LittlePrairieLibrary 2 года назад +1

    It's bamboo time

  • @kaitie210
    @kaitie210 Год назад

    Mike undermining the vole changed my life

  • @r.g.9717
    @r.g.9717 Год назад

    I use what’s the situation so much

  • @masterjediemma
    @masterjediemma Год назад

    TREE WIZAAAAAARD

  • @marcgorter8651
    @marcgorter8651 2 года назад +4

    Is Mike Wozniak the only one who made Greg AND Alex laugh out loud?

    • @Ar4BellaC
      @Ar4BellaC 2 года назад +2

      When james was arguing with rhod they lost it too 😂

    • @marcgorter8651
      @marcgorter8651 2 года назад +1

      @@Ar4BellaC Not as much though ;)

  • @blemmigan9564
    @blemmigan9564 2 года назад +4

    Reminding me that far too much of Taskmaster is quotable nonsense. "Bastard's crying, innit" is definitely number one. Closely followed by Jess's "All I ever wanted was for the people to dance" in s7e8, and everything about Nish's coconut businessman in s5e3. He's a businessmaaan from the soouuthern states of ameeeerica, Greg!

  • @vettethewarlock5448
    @vettethewarlock5448 2 года назад +1

    If you make another, you have to include Phils ogre story and Doc Browns nursey rhyme

  • @theCaptainFinch
    @theCaptainFinch Год назад

    Does anyone know what season 0:58 is from?

  • @hushlittlegracie933
    @hushlittlegracie933 2 года назад +1

    So you're saying we don't strike people?

  • @Amber-kc3sm
    @Amber-kc3sm 2 года назад +2

    Where is "there is strength in arches"???

  • @tobiasgund8048
    @tobiasgund8048 Год назад

    How often do you talk about Hippos?

  • @JamesD-iw6pr
    @JamesD-iw6pr 2 года назад

    "Quotes"?

  • @andreicmello
    @andreicmello Год назад

    The hippo thing still annoys me to this day. Are you for real, woman, that is not a hippo.