For the first story, I wished so badly that someone would’ve mentioned how she started the speech. She did something that was already disrespectful in the MOST disrespectful way by telling everyone that the bride is the reason she couldn’t give a speech, but was going to anyways.
This!!!! This crazy lady not only went against what she wanted, but openly disrespected her. Not saying I agree with what the bride did, going with an everyone sucks here. She should have started kicking her husband under the table and told him to intervene. Then she could have avoided any blame or criticism for being openly disrespectful.
Exactly!!! THANK YOU! Why should the bride have to give her the time of day when she was so disrespectful about the way she went about it. No matter what else she ended up saying in the speech you can obviously see the malicious intent. The entitlement is crazy and my first thought was “ANNULMENT!”
Licensed Behavioral Specialist here: when I hear the story about the kids behavior I hear behaviors that have been reinforced (either by being ignored by adults or getting a thing they want in order to stop) BUT there could be other things at play we don’t know about like different diagnoses and such. What mom did was FLAWLESS. That was a natural consequence to their behavior and now they know for future vacations if they act out of line mom will follow through and have them leave
I was a Special Ed teacher and did different Behavior type (edit” techniques with certain kids (then carried their philosophy over, to an extent, when I began teaching inclusion). I was cheering the mom on. Badly behaved entitled kids become badly behaved entitled adults. Better late than never for mom to put her foot down and teach them that there are consequences to their actions. I hope she keeps it up!
I have ADHD and have my RBT, exactly if they are undiagnosed with behavioral problems a big flag is doing the exact opposite of what parent has said and having understanding boundaries.
A bit worrying that you’re a behavioural specialist and don’t know what a natural consequence is. Natural consequences are those that occur WITHOUT parental involvement. Example: you threw that box of chalk in the pool and now it’s all wet, we won’t be able to use these now and we’re missing out on lots of fun. The mothers intervention here was not a natural consequence, it was a consequence enforced by her. That’s not to say whether it was was right or wrong though.
I don't hear anything in the story about setting boundaries. Also a warning first. And small changes. Like they don't behave in the restaurant, they get back to the hotel and don't eat. They don't behave at the beach, one of the parents or grandmother takes the boys home and the girl is able to enjoy the beach, etc. Ignoring their behavior is surely not ok, but the action taken is extreme and punished the sister too, as well as the parents practically. This cannot be something new...
second story: mom is actively stopping the “boys will be boys” mentality there. good for her! dad is an enabler and probably why the kids turned out that way.
I don't know how involved grandma is but she definitely is enabling it when she's around. My grandparents love me and my cousins but know their grandkids can and will do wrong
WORD! And clearly it worked, because they were crying the whole way home. Kids aren’t guaranteed to be little hellions just because they’re 8-9 years old, and judging by the fact that they were crying the whole way home, obviously consequences work. So what if you have to be the “bad guy” to not be a full enabler-next time the kids think about raising hell, they might hold off a bit when they remember how they got their family vacation cancelled by being disruptive little goblins. (And you point out that Dad is the enabler… I hope that he doesn’t convince the kids that it was Mom who ruined the vacation by enforcing consequences for the kids’ actions… like NO, the kids ruined it by choosing to continue acting that way despite her setting the boundary!)
“I know the bride forbids speeches” then don’t do one. I understand if she got drunk and forgot but she literally STATED she wasn’t supposed to. That’s what has me messed up.
Yep! She was completely stomping her on her wedding day by giving that speech KNOWING it was unwanted. But bc it’s her only son- she can do what she wants. PSYCHO BOY MOM
Yeah, absolutely. I wouldn't be spending the day with him either. To not have your back on the wedding day... Like unless he didn't agree then they have issues and should have discussed it before the ceremony commenced.
Same here, I disagree with the girls. I think this is not on the bride because the mother in law stated in her speech that she was doing the speech no matter what the bride wanted, I feel like this mother in law will not respect future boundaries, the bride is not the asshole. The bride needed to show that she won’t lay flat for her for future issues like the mother in law trying to get too involved in their private life.
While I agree with that once it’s begun I just can’t see a way to not also become the asshole. For me the 15 minutes of disrespect on my wedding day aren’t worth the ruining of the day. It feels like a pick your battles thing at that point.
Story 4 - In some countries, the train doors 100% close if something is obstructing it. I've seen far too many tourists get their arms stuck in the doors of the Tube, thinking that they would bounce open if they put their arm in the way. OP called their trip a 'Holiday', so it's safe to assume that they are not from the US.
I was just going to say this. Where I live there aren’t automatic sensors in the doors so you have to rely on the conductor who is supposed to look and check before closing the doors. Best not to stick your arm in the door regardless
And also trains have space between them and Platform, even if he just went out from the train and step to the "safe zone" after yellow line it would be to far to keep doors open
What he did was wrong anyway. You know your wife ain't that fast. What you do is get ready for the next station so both by the door with suitcases. From there you look for a new route.
Story 1: My mom threatened to not go to the wedding because she wasn’t the first one to walk down the aisle (yes I said that right) and she called my husband and said “I hope you understand , if I’m not first I’m not going” and he said “No I don’t understand. We will not be changing anything, it’s your choice to go or not” and that’s when I knew I married a keeper. Sadly moms a narcissist.
Yup, my mother always had to be not only included in every single decision, event, etc. But she also had to have the helper spot, or the leader. Doesn't matter if it's 'YOUR' day, and you are so 'goody-two-shoes' for pointing it out, and 'no one would be there without her' 😳
@@kelseyfitzgerald872 that was my question too. Although, as the child of narcissists, I do understand how heroic it can feel when someone else actually sees their treatment of you, and stands up to them.
First story: If I was the bride I wouldve had a very honest talk with my partner and probably go something like: “If you can’t prioritize me on our wedding night, how can I trust you to stand with me for the rest of our lives?”
Wow that was so rude, you disrespected your mil. You knew how your mil was and you chose a public setting to humiliate her. You could take her after separate and tell her you did not like it. This is realy petty behavior. I bet she would not have done it if it where her mum. If my partner would have done this i would be so mad.
I would understand if that soecific speech was described as in bad taste with the content but the MIL was right! IT'S HER SONS WEDDING TOO! Classic bridezilla move! And I also doubt she would have done that if it was her own mother doing that.
@@JustLIkerapunzel I got the sense it was with how it started, I feel like it would’ve had such a different vibe if the MIL hadn’t specifically said ‘i know I’ve been told not to do this but…’ I feel like it starts leading to that territory of MIL regularly disregarding her adult son and wife’s boundaries. It’s tough though because I also personally would never be so blatantly disrespectful in a public setting
Yeah this was a hard stop for me. Totally respect Morgan and Alejandra would have bit the bullet, but mom litterally openly announced that she was blatantly ignoring what the bride wanted. If nothing else? I draw the whole line there. This is their first marital issue, and new husband is immediately not on his new wife's side. Not divorcable but this to me is also problematic. You're immediately failing to be a united front with your partner ghat you JUST married. That's not cool weather you think the speech thing is excusable or not. It was her boundary that she was very transparent about from the beginning.
Red flag that husband took mommy's side over the love of his life. Mother in law feels very attention seeking, and this is an odd occasion to seek it in such a passive aggressive way.
This is what I keep thinking. Like MIL purposely defied what she asked knowing she wouldn’t throw a fit in the middle of the wedding and tell her off and expected her to just suck it up and let her have her shining moment as the only person to give a heartfelt speech. She got exactly what she deserved, to not be engaged with. She was given express direction to shut the hell up and since she couldn’t she was simply ignored.
Her use of the word “forbidden” told me what I needed to hear. And then to add “my only son, I’ll do whatever I want” ooooo girl… no ma’am, not in this house.
Story 2: as a teacher who has studied child development and psychology extensively in my university journey… she did the right thing. Children learn when there are consequences and when there is structure. They could use a structured system in their lives to help them understand boundaries and consequences
First story MIL not only did exactly the one thing the couple asked her not to, she was DISRESPECTUFUL to the bride while doing it! 100% bride should've shamed her for her disrespectful behavior. Husband should've shut his mom down immediately
Yeah I feel like they’re missing the tone here, which is that husband knew she would do it, didn’t stop it in any way, and then was grey rocking her on their wedding day. The totality is the red flag.
I think with story 4 it's the same as 'guys don't think like that.' It does feel like an honest mistake in the heat of the moment, but I do think that you should be worried about where your pregnant wife is and making sure she is getting out with or before you while exiting, but he was just so caught up in the rush to worry about that.
She is 5 months pregnant. Like come on she is not crippled! Many women don't even know they are pregnant until 3th month. It was an honest mistake and I am sure they would not have had 3 !!! Suitcases and backpack if she wasn't able to take one suitcase. Otherwise that would have been dump to travel like that. Unfortunate how it went down but clear hormonal overreaction to just cancel the trip when he literally called to say he'll take the next train to catch up right away
Second story: as a parent I honestly feel the kids are acting that way because they know they can get away with it. Mom tried to discipline by cutting the trip short and the dad and grandma blamed her instead of the kids. The kids see these things and know mom is going to be the one to take the heat for their behaviour.
Yup. I agree. My stepneice and nephew act this way because parents have no follow through or are undermined by the grandparents. My kids didn’t behave this way because the consequences were very real for them and they knew if I made a threat (i.e. we’ll leave) I followed through with it. My guess is that the kids push back when boundaries are set and the parents cave and say “fine, but don’t do it again!”
Story 4: I just got back from visiting family in London. I was 34 weeks pregnant when I went. I was able to handle getting on and off the trains no problem, but of course everyone is different. Just to give some type of context to one experience if it helps. I personally don’t think the husband was the AH. I think it was just an unfortunate miscommunication. Those trains move quick and take a while to come back around if you miss your stop.
Yeah I agree. I don't think he was the ass. It was a mistake. The only thing that tips it for me is that he says he thinks he was right like he's not approaching her with the angle of I was moving too fast and I made a mistake. I'm sorry. I feel like that would have smoothed a lot of this over
Nah he was ah. Just because some people have easy pregnancy, doesn’t mean it will be easy for everyone else. My last pregnancy was hard! My legs and feet were swollen four times the regular size. He could’ve made sure he got her off first, or he could’ve, say to her, we will get off next stop, which was his solution, for her to do, and he will met her there.
Story 2: I have a degree in child psych and ms in behavior analysis! ❤ My first thought is what were the consequences before it escalated to that point? Each behavior that she described should have had a consequence. Going out too far in the ocean, give a warning and if they do it again they are done at the beach. Take the daughter and leave the boys at home. Fighting over chalk? The boy who threw it should pay for the chalk or work for it with allowance if possible. Also provide lots of reinforcement and attention to the boys anytime they are NOT fighting and behaving well. Also teaching coping strategies seems necessary here, these kids are getting so angry and reactive to everyday problems. Give them solutions that are appropriate! I’ll get off my soap box now 😂
As a new mom I enjoyed your soapbox. Thanks for your perspective! I love the idea of immediate specific consequences vs one big consequence after multiple bad behaviors. My son is nearly 2 and still listens to what I ask, but I know the season of pushing boundaries is about to begin!
It's the "I know I'm not supposed to, but this is MY son and I will do what I want" entitlement comment that gets me, and I don't think there was good intentions with it when that was the opening line. I would probably react the same way by ignoring the mil
Exactly! She had every intention to go against the bride. I get sometimes you get carried away in the moment and just go oops I'm so sorry I forgot no speeches. But MIL knew exactly what she was doing. So no, I don't think OP was the AH for talking during the speech. MIL's statement and actions scream, "F your feelings", and bride just gave back the same energy. As for the husband, I get thats his mom but wife takes precedence. Stand up for ur wife sir! It's not about the speech, it's about the blatant disregard for ur wife's wishes.
Story 4: it sounds strange that his wife would get this pissed out of a small occurrence, maybe he has a history of acting this way - acting before thinking and effing some situations up - and she was just getting more and more fed up by the minute.
To be fair as well being pregnant is very hard, she’s likely very mentally and physically tired and that could ass to her potentially being more annoyed at a small occurrence - we don’t know really
To be fair as well being pregnant is very hard, she’s likely very mentally and physically tired and that could ass to her potentially being more annoyed at a small occurrence - we don’t know really
Agreed, everyone's pregnancy can be different but at 5months you're not very heavy or big to pull a suitcase or to get up and off a train. Even if you're feeling however she didn't NEED to react that way because it was clearly a MISTAKE he's human. He had MOST of the luggage and was trying to not let the vacation be ruined....how hard would it have been to forgive him!
Nah me rn as someone not pregnant, I’d be MAD if my bf didn’t even bother to make sure we both could make it and just left me and dashed… like okay I’m just gonna leave then bc how are you just gonna forget me like that 😅 also in a foreign place??? Absolutely not 😂
story 2: this sounds like years of permissive parenting, having the kid just walk all over her with minimal or zero consequences. and it sounds like shes been a single mother in a marriage. (BA in Psych - focus Children & Families, MSW Candidate, focus Children & Families)
@@basicimagemarketing6499Morgan asked for experts in child psychology, parenting and family dynamics to comment. So I think OP was demonstrating to her they fit into that category.
This is similar to what I was thinking. I’m a mum of 3 and currently doing honours in psychology. This give me a sense of dad isn’t on the same parenting page as mum and the kids run over the mother every day. No one had the mums back. I would have done the same thing, but a little different. I would have told my mother and husband to stand up or this is what happens. She set a boundary.
First mother in law is the type to say “I know we aren’t allowed to kiss the baby on the face but I can’t help myself”. Boundaries. Patience should have started with the mother in law. Bride needs some too
Story 2: Both mom and dad need couple's therapy about implementing structure and getting on the same page. Yeah, the kids found out real quick about their behavior. But they should have found out a lot sooner lol. This is a larger problem that comes from the parents - the kiddos are just experiencing the symptoms of the issue.
story 2: the dad being dismissive and saying that “it’ll be fine” makes it sound like he isn’t the one who actually deals with the kids at their worst (as i’m typing i’m hearing you guys pretty much say the same thing lol). she “ruined” the vacation for him because if she left, he would actually have to deal with the kids himself
9:52 i think she is showing the family that if they are disrespectful to her, she will keep living her life and won’t let them bulldoze her when they purposely “ignore” the boundaries set up ahead of time
STORY 2: I'm a mom of 3 toddlers 2 boys and 1 girl. I grew up with a mother who really let us do what we wanted without any guidance or true parenting and when it was time for us to listen, we never did as we didn't respect her. Things are very different now for my family and honestly they sound like they need some guidance in general maybe from the dad as he plays a big part in how his sons are, they learn from repetition and from watching us their parents.
My mum was a single mum to my brother and I. We had our moments of pushing our luck and being insufferable. However, my mum was on a strict 3 warning policy. First warning is telling us we aren't behaving well, second was the threat of consequences, third was consequences. There's been times were day-trips were cut shorts, dinners out were cut short because we didn't listen, but we learned to behave in public and we learned to listen to our mum. I worked at a museum for 6 months and saw so many kids misbehaving and parents would just warn of consequences but never follow through with them. The scenario of 'if you keep this up we're leaving', and seeing the group walk around again and again for 2 hours with the kids still being brats, and the parent:guardian keeping up the 'we're going to leave if you don't stop', like how is this going to teach your kids to listen if there's no consequences?
as a person who fought hard with their sibling during childhood hell yeah also there must be smth that they feel like rivarly is a solution to. Maybe they don't feel appriciated for who they are or smth else. They do seem to be lacking some attention and they are following what they see. Idk what the parents' relationship is like but if they argue and kids hear/see it then yeah that may be a reason. If everything else is alr tho, then I think reassuring them that they are loved and cared for without having to bring each other down is the way. The issue rarely is the kids themselves tho.
It’s OK to be bored… That was probably one of the hardest lessons. I had to learn as an adult, and not only do adults need to learn that, but children do too! You guys are spot on!!❤
First story: I feel like you guys are missing something. The bride set a boundary, no speeches. Something everyone understood except for the mother in law for making the speech and the husband for not stopping his mom and allowing his mom to ignore the boundary set by his wife. All the mother in law had to do was not make a speech, which I feel is easier to do then sit and "respectfully" watch someone walk over you and bluntly say "I am going to do what I want."
THIS!! you should not have to be the bigger person at your own wedding!! If it were my wedding and she openly disrespected me I would have stood up and said "you know you shouldn't be giving a speech so please respect ME at MY wedding and stop before you start."
The MAJOR factor is if this is a repetitive thing or once in a blue moon. Also depending heavily on everyone’s personalities. If the MIL was kind ever since then yea bride is TAH. Other way around where the bride has been patient and forgiving MIL’s disrespect, then NTA. So I agree w them. It just depends on their backgrounds.
The wedding is not only for the bride. It was his wedding too and “not liking speeches” is really not a do or die thing. This bride is really immature.
Story 2 - NTA!! I have the feeling that OP was the only "dealing" with the children's behavior, while the husband and the grandmother were just watching from the side and saying shit like: "Let it go" "They're just children" "They're gonna stop in their own" The moment she decided to stop dealing with them, they got upset I also think it's unfair for the daughter to miss the trip, but it's not OP'S fault. She probably is fed up with them as well, so the trip was already ruined for her
first story: i do not think the bride should have just bit the bullet at all. the MIL started the speech by openly saying she is disrespecting the bride's wishes? she has no obligation then to respect the MIL's. if OP didnt make a point to embarrass her, the MIL would just continue to step all over OP's boundaries. I actually think the OP was respectful compared to what I would do. Im just not the kind of person that would take that kind of disrespect.
Anyone else pick up on how they agree "you can do anything you want, you just have to deal with the consequences," and "Fuck around and find out," in story 2, but went with AH for story one when the bride enforced consequences on her MIL who fucked around and found out 👀
Second story i come from a family like this, the mother tries and the father disrespects her, so the kids think its okay. Its purley the kids repeating behavior they have seen, and I'd bet thousands the dad laughs or some way encourages their behavior and downplays her concerns. United caregivers are the key
I grew up with a similar parent dynamic, but we weren't this crazy. We were actually really well behaved but my brothers constantly disrespect my mom. They saw that they could get away with it AND my father did it too.
@@mowiie With inconsistent enforcer/enabler parenting like this, the level of chaos tends to depend on the wildest child. If they have one disruptive child picking constant fights with a sibling, most often that sibling is dragged down with him. If no siblings cross that line then usually it doesn't just start happening.
Hey Morgan, Im not sure if you are aware of this but the vacation friends advertisment is a form of scabing. They have been reaching out to influencers because all the actors can't promote movies due to the sag strike. I would look into this and the implications of scabbing for strikes.
Story 2: My aunt and her husband have 3 kids, they used to be so so so disrespectful, make chaos everywhere and they fought each other every second of the day. They had to stay with me for 4 months almost 24/7 bc their parents were having money problems and had to take almost 2 shifts daily... and understandably the rest of the family didn’t want to help. I discovered that they were like this because their parents ignored them most of the time and to "discipline" them they were hit and yelled at. At least these kids needed routine, new forms of discipline with real consequences and they had to be according to what they did. Because if they made a mess I wasn’t going to yell at them but the consequence was them having to clean their own mess. Also understanding that sometimes it is hard for them to process their emotions and accompany them through this hard time. And that sometimes they just need to be little shits, for example the youngest liked to bite so when he felt the urge to bite I would redirect him to biting a teether. The oldest liked to hit so I bought him boxing gloves and took 1 hour to practice with him martial arts every other day. The middle one liked to draw on my walls so I bought him art supplies so he had somewhere to explore his activities.
Ok I’m sorry but I died laughing hearing you say gabagool was a side salad! Gabagool is an Italian American way of saying Capicola or coppa which is a cured meat, think prosciutto and salami meeting in the middle
I think an important distinction with the "girl brain vs boy brain" isn't that our brains are physically different, but that we are *socialized* differently. To go off of your beach example, girls are often raised to pay attention to others and be hyper aware of their surroundings, while boys are taught to focus more on themselves as individuals and aren't given the same "be aware of your surroundings" talks. Of course this is all generalized but I 100% agree that because men and women are socialized so differently they often have much different ways of interacting with others. Edit: this is getting a little more attention than I thought, I like reading y'all's comments! I'd like to clarify I am not a neuroscientist, and I'm not saying that there aren't *any* physical differences in male and female brains. After a bit of a Google search it seems that research on this topic is generally inconclusive and likely pretty sexist. I am saying that based on my personal experience, a lot of men's behaviors have to do with the ways they are raised, not because "men are wired that way". I know Morgan didn't mean it that way either! I too, notice differences between "boy brain and girl brain" and think about it a lot in my daily life, so I wanted to share my thoughts :)
Actually, I learned in school that the SRY gene on the Y chromosome in biological males triggers testosterone release. This reaches the brain (where it is actually converted to estrogen!) And impacts the brain. This same impact on the brain doesn't occur in biological females as they dont have a Y chromosome. So there are biological differences in "male" and "female" brains. But I also agree with your point that socialisation plays a huge role as well.
@@eliseg0001 I don't remember much more than that as I learnt this a long time ago. So I would have to google it so I encourage you to do the same if you want to learn more. From what I remember it affects the signalling pathways in different regions of the brain. This impacts behaviour. Also there is some research that shows this process of estrogen (converted from testosterone) in the brain in biological males can increase individual's chance of developing neuropsychiatric disorders.
@@xwinwinwinx While it is true that men on average have higher testosterone levels, as a neuroscience master's graduate i would like to add come context. Men might have higher testosterone levels, but there are specific types of testosterone receptors that can differ in numbers and location in the brain. For example, men might have higher testosterone levels, but if they also have more receptors, the result might be the same as a lower number of testosterone and a lower number of receptors. The way hormones interact with internal factors such as receptors, neurotransmitters, brain path ways or external factors, is so incredibly compex that we are not yet in the position to make such decisive conclusions. In addition, the same hormone can have different functions depending on context and different hormones can have the same functions (for example, testosterone has been linked to aggression, but so has oxyticon, it depends on the context). I think this is all fascinating and hope the research will progress in the following years so we can find out more about these topics :)
💯, yes maybe there are some differences in brains themselves but this is primarily a difference in socialization which is why geographically and historically there's been many different societies that that don't face these same issues between males and females.
As a mom and school counselor, the kids I see that act like the vacation boys are the same kids whose parents cannot agree on discipline. They know dad does not support mom, and he has shown her feelings and opinions do not matter. Dad has likely learned this from grandma, which neither see a problem with.
The first story- it’s important to Recognize this is the mil refusing to accept their boundary, it will keep happening if they are not a United front holding their boundaries. Every family event, if they have kids, anything there is always boundaries the people who love you need to get on board with.
Wow... That's so messed up. It WAS HER SONS WEDDING TOO. But I think everyone involved acted like a butthole. The MIL could have adressed them upfront about how it's her sons wedding too. And her husband could have talked to her in advance that he didn't have a problem with speeches and doesn't want to forbid it on his wedding. They could have compromised about the MIL simply being allowed to share a few worths of 2 minutes max or something like that instead of a 15 minute speech she wanted most likely to give. And the bridge cluld have decided to ask her husband to stop her when she started as to not look like an asshole herself. I doubt she would have done what she did if it was her mother and if so wow what a brat.... Overall don't get married if you can't communicate well enough to be able to sort out such a situation as a couple. If that is enough for both to not spend the day after the wedding together, they were BOTH TOXIC for esch other to begin with imo
Second story: my Latina mother would have canceled the vacation as soon as we fought in the car on the way the whole time. Cut that shit out immediately lol powpow con una chancleta 😂
39:58: honestly as a mom of a little over a year, it really depends on your nurses you have at the hospital. mine were absolutely amazing at showing us what we needed to do, but they also gave us a booklet provided by the hospital that in their words was “a manual for newborns if they made one” but also just asking your nurses, no question is a dumb/bad question when you’ve got a newborn.
Story 1: NTA she set a boundary before the wedding and the mother in law not only over stepped it she disrespected the bride by saying “but I don’t care” she clearly doesn’t respect the bride or her wishes and she clearly loves the attention and the husband shouldve handled his mom and not discredit he’s new wife’s feelings
Exactly!!!!! Like the groom had multiple chances to bring up his stubborn mother. Idk I really don’t agree with the story fitting “having patience” theme
Honestly was a bit baffled by the response especially Morgan’s. Let’s say instead of speeches MIL wore white because it was her favorite color despite being asked not to. I am almost positive Morgan would have not had the same response. I also thought it was funny the husbands in both story had the same response (get angry at wife and give cold shoulder) but one was justified. They wanted first wife to have patience for a grown ass woman acting like an entitled brat but the second wife was right to give no patience for two children. Second wife could’ve given the kids another chance and if behavior was not corrected then gone home. Both of these wives were being disrespected by their families imo
Second story: had my first baby and the nurse handed me the baby and said “okay you’re good to feed her” and went to leave the room. I think she saw the look on my face and was like “have you breastfed before?” Uhhhhh no! To top it off my husband tested positive for Covid and couldn’t stay with me. I had just had a C-section and they wouldn’t allow any new visitors. My room was a “hazardous room” so the nurses barely came to check on me. I did my first 48 hours of being a new parent by myself with covid 🙃 They don’t teach you anything when you have a kid. You have to ask or do the research before
Parent here, weighing in on the bratty kids vacay- the biggest part of being a parent is consistency and follow through, any type of parenting style can be effective if there is always consistency and always follow through. When children know what to expect they act accordingly, plain and simple. Edit to add: since you asked, when I brought my kid home they did have instructional videos they required the new parents to watch before you left the hospital lol
Yep thought the same thing. Mom did the right thing, they needed to see consequences followed through. They'd been talked to enough, eventually you have to act
I agree. Consequences doesn't have to mean hitting - it can mean going home, a "time in" by leaving the situation with the child, holding back the reward, having the child wait outside with or without the parent. If a child is 2-3, they will have tantrums and misbehave. But 4-> they start catching on to rules. If they have enough quality food, sleep, sports and play, they're able to follow orders. I like to travel with my kids so I have a specific control/warning voice. "Take your bags and follow mum. I am serious", and they comply.
Story 2. This happened coz the dad and the gran are enabling the bad behaviour. And the mum seems to be the only one who gives them boundaries, gets no help with it but then is left to deal with it.
First story: it says a lot that the mother-in-law started the speech off by saying“ I know I’m for bidden bride, BUT”…. Ehhh she definitely doesn’t respect the bride or her wishes and the fact that the husband took his mom’s side says a lot. The mother-in-law should’ve respected the brides wishes, period it’s their day. MIL doesn’t respect the bride/wife and is going to continue to test her boundaries throughout the marriage!
I once saw someone get his hand caught on the train's door. He managed to squeeze his hand out, but his watch fell in. I got it, squeezed my hand into the door, gave it to him, and after the adrenaline went down I realized what I did was quite dangerous and kinda stupid.
No paper degree, but I have 4 sons! 😂😂😂 Kids do get pretty wild and will push the limits. However, you MUST follow through. This mom did the right thing. I haven't even wanted to take my kids on a vacation that costs so much money now adays! I refuse to spend money to be miserable. Follow through ❤
Lol. For the first story I would have yelled back “that’s right” when she said “ I know we are forbidden to make speeches “ then I would have laughed it off and continued the previous conversation. Then if she continued she would have looked weird for doing it.
Didn’t do speeches at my wedding, just a quick welcome and “thank you all for coming” by my dad at the beginning of the reception. Best decision ever! Our friends pulled us aside and gave private speeches throughout the night
The MIL could've just sent out a mass message with a video of her speech. So many options before standing up & proudly proclaiming you think you're the most important person at someone else's wedding lol
I asked my mom what she thought of the 2nd story. I would say shes an expert as a teacher, a masters in early childhood development and raise 3 highly independent adults. She said that the mom was right to end the trip and agreed that the dad is the enabler. In this case given the kids ages the mom and dad need to address discipline on a united front. The best method of discipline being that you loose privileges the more you act out but are given opportunities to earn those privileges back through good behavior. She also said since it's a larger family if possible that all the kids may benefit from individual time with each parent. One day each week or month one of the siblings get their own day to go do something they enjoy with mom then with dad on the next turn. Alot of their acting out may be due to them fighting for attention amongst the large family dynamic.
Mom of boys here, who are now in their 20’s. I was strict with behavior when they were little, didn’t yell or threaten, but would guide them to correct behavior, especially in public. By the time they were 5 they would never act like the boys in the story. I always got compliments on how respectful and well behaved they were. It made junior high and high school a breeze! I believed strongly in natural consequences. You act up in a restaurant? We leave. Act like a hellion at the beach? Same consequence. As an added bonus they would lose video games, or whatever they were into for the rest of the day. If I were the mom, I wouldn’t have cut the vacation short. But my sons would have spent a lot of time in their bedrooms, separated. One parent can take turns watching them. They would learn quickly that the only way to have fun is to follow the rules. These rules should have started long before this vacation, but it’s never too late. Just as an aside, I wasn’t a task master who ruled with an iron thumb. My kids had tons of fun, made possible by my husband and I teaching them early on!
First story: I usually agree with your takes but this is a hard no lol don’t be disrespectful at someone else’s wedding. So unfair to the bride who openly expressed she didn’t want speeches at her wedding. The husband should’ve stood up for her, she shouldn’t have to accept something she doesn’t want at her own wedding. The husband really showed who’s important to him when it comes down to it
I agree. What really got me was the mil demanding to be respected but not being willing to give the bride any respect by not making her speech. I don’t think you should have to suck it up and respect anyone that isn’t willing to offer you the same courtesy. Does the hypocrisy just not register?!?!?
Yeah like, I get what they’re saying in that I probably in that scenario too would have bitten the bullet to prevent everything from being overly uncomfortable so the confrontation does make me wince a bit but… Bride was 1000% in the right on this. She expressed her wishes beforehand, and MIL not only ignored, but acknowledged that it was against their wishes and continued on. It is blatantly disrespectful
This is what I come to say. She didn’t respect the bride and grooms wish’s on THEIR day. It is t about MIL, it is about the couple. This show total disrespect from the MIL and husband.
If mother in law really wants to give a speech that much, she should have had a conversation with the bride before the wedding. Like promise the bride to give a very short speech, etc..., but if the bride still says no, that means no. She should not put the bride on a hard spot like that.
In the second story we’ve had that happen. My dad made us leave vacation early after my brother and cousin decided to be disrespectful. (There are 4 other kids who suffered because of their behavior) it worked.
I had a baby two years ago. I live in Canada. At the hospital they taught us how to feed, swaddle and bathe the baby. Then around a week after getting out of the hospital, a public nurse stops by and checks on the mom and the baby. I also took a weekend course about caring for a baby up to six months old
I wish it was like this in the US! There's no education required and you get moms with new babies giving them water or feeding them solids at 3 months. So many parents just rely on their parents to teach them, when often their parents way is wrong/outdated. Then when you try and teach them it becomes personal cause you're calling their parents way wrong and they get defensive instead of listening 😢
Did they mention not giving them water? I didn't have kids. I would have just done breast milk/formula only (seems the norm)... I would have likely checked about water/electrolytes but it has never been mentioned in my adult life
Story Four: While he didn’t do it intentionally I think getting split up from anyone you’re traveling with, pregnant or not, bc you are more concerned with getting somewhere faster than staying together makes you at least a little bit of an AH
I feel like he definitely left at least 1 important detail out. Yes, public transportation moves quickly but children, the elderly & disabled travel daily too...
WOWWWW I COMPLETELY disagree with the first story. That MIL knew OP didn't want speeches, didn't like speeches, and decided to do it anyway because she doesn't respect her. OP had EVERY right to ignore that woman the entire time she was talking. Rediculous.
I really hate how they were both doing the whole "it's family, she is starting on a bad foot by being mean to MIL" as of MIL gets some kind of pass for litterally doing it first 🙄 come on.
@RedFreaderd but it wasn't just that thought it's the fact that she didn't use it as a way to trash talk since apparently everyone else didn't mind, so the speech most likely didn't have anything mean spirited
Story 2: Im a first time mom and when i gave birth they definitely gave me a crash course before we went home as far as newborn care and what to look for but you see the pediatrician frequently in the beginning to keep checking on them and answer questions.
If the MIL speeches are mean spirited like the OP said they are I wouldn't want to hear it and be brought down on my wedding day either. If you were told the rules AND reiterate that you understand the rules at the beginning of your speech you can't get mad when the bride ignores you and talks over you. It's absolutely ridiculous for anyone on his side of the family to get mad at her lol. MIL is just mad she didn't get to get a dig in at her on her wedding day. She sounds like the type that would've been smug in a underhanded way after her speech. Husband should have had his wife's back.
Story three- I’m so lucky that my boyfriend would’ve told me immediately if another girl arrived because now he has permission to invite me😂 he has a little bit of a girl brain and I love it. Also I’m 100% the one who would be completely oblivious and just walked in front and he would’ve redirected me to walk behind just because he is way more aware of what other people are doing and how to do what’s best for those people.
He doesn't have a girl brain, he's just a good guy who loves you, you're in his mind. That's why I hate the boy/girl brain thing because a good man is just a good man and a checked out man is a checked out man. Also love that for you, you have a good one
Story #2 reminded me of something my mom did with my older siblings(but in a much smaller scale). She'd let them know going into places like restaurants or grocery stores that if they acted up, they'd all be leaving no matter what. Only had to pull that move twice, and they never acted up again, and as more of us were born, my siblings would tell this horror story of leaving a restaurant early and stop us all from acting up😂
Story 2: it’s interesting to hear this from the POV of two people whose moms had that disciplinarian energy-my mom wasn’t like that. She was pretty permissive and never laid a finger/object on me as punishment, but I was also kinda a people-pleaser at that age. I responded to positive reinforcement: being good kept getting me the stuff I wanted or asked for, so I kept being good! 😅 But I had my moments, and even though my parents didn’t always get along with each other, they presented a united front during discipline, and they gave me time-outs, took toys away, yelled at me, kept me from seeing friends, or other things to discourage bad behavior. In the story, the dad is advocating for encouraging bad behavior by just saying “it’ll improve, it’ll improve” and preserving the vacation. Why would it improve? They can act however they want and still get rewarded, so at that point, why would they not just keep doing what comes naturally to them, at the expense of everyone else around them? (And also themselves-they refused sunscreen? Been there, regretted that. My family took beach vacations every year, and I only had to have an entire vacation ruined by a bad sunburn ONCE before I started taking sun exposure seriously! AND THAT’S ON CONSEQUENCES! 🙃)
I was also a people pleaser plus I was older when my sibling was born so I could clearly see my mom being the discipline person & my dad being the fun one. I was good because getting in trouble sucked & I knew it made my mom feel bad to be the only one enforcing consequences.
Story 2: I can almost guarantee that the dad is not the parent that is actively disciplining their kids so the awful behavior at the beginning of the vacation was not as unbearable to him as it was for the mom (who I’m sure if the only ‘parent’ not ‘friend’ that actually raised their children)
34:34 Hey guys! Absolutely love the show but just wanted to make a note to say that meltdown is an autism specific term. All kids throw tantrums, but not all kids have meltdowns. To help, I like to think of the difference as, a tantrum stops when the kid gets what they want. A meltdown is something that really can’t be helped and mostly has to be ridden out/soothed as it is continued, even if the child gets what they want. This is not hate at all, just sharing my knowledge as an autistic person! But other than this tiny note, I completely agree. The dad and MIL were out of line and should have been there to support their wife/DIL.
Baby 1 was an easy pregnancy for me, baby 2 was the pits from day one, sick, swollen feet, bloated, sleepy, lethargic, etc. Pregnancy not only differs from person to person, but from one pregnancy to the next.
Story 2: I'm a parent of a 4 year old. We have done up to a 5 day vacation in airbnbs. What I would have done is one parent stay with grandma and the well behaving child. One go home with the misbehaving children. You also needed to state this and set the consequence before doing it and do it all in a calm manner. . We go back and forth so its not always one parent. You also need to work on these skills at home. This would have made a big impact and not punished grandma and the well behaving child. And yes, this is small things at home and not enforcing what your saying. We try out best to do gentle parenting, not permissive.
For story 4, I saw this happen to a couple last month in Paris. The woman’s face when those doors closed… we felt so bad! Those train doors will suddenly shut! Fortunately they found each other at the next station, but man I can imagine how nerve wrecking it must have been. I say NTA, just an unfortunate mistake
Story 1: that mom did not have good intentions or she would not have said “the bride said no speeches but I’ll do what I want.” She knew exactly what she was doing.
Her MIL knowingly disrespect her boundaries. She supposed to just take that? Y’all keep saying she should’ve been respectful to the MIL while the MIL is actively disrespecting her…like WTF?? And the husband literally chose his mom over her on their wedding night.
This! How are you going to demand respect while openly disrespecting someone? I understand being the type to sit through it not to cause a scene and having a conversation with her after (probably what I would’ve done), but I 100% think OP was justified in what she did. It was hard to watch them say that she needs to respect MIL more since she’s family now because you shouldn’t have to be respectful to someone who violates your boundaries but also because people don’t earn your respect by being related to you, they earn it by offering you the same courtesy.
The story about leaving his pregnant wife on the train, I could relate. I ALWAYS get mad at my husband when we are driving separately for whatever reason I follow him, and he leaves me at a stop light. But calling family to complain is a bit much lol
These are both perfect examples of why women should NOT rely on men for everything/anything. You should BOTH know where you’re going and should BOTH be able to navigate public transit and be able to problem solve in a situation like this. “Leaving a pregnant woman on a train” I mean if she’s fine to travel for a vacation then she’s fine sitting on a train by herself. If she’s some helpless little pregnant woman then she probably shouldn’t be taking a train in the first place.
@@everleighxoxoxi actually agree. might sound like a reach, but to me this is also kinda misogynistic to act like (pregnant) women are unable to function on their own. sure you might need some help if your pregnant because of the physical restrictions pregnancy gives women, but it's not like she is a little child who doesn't know how to handle a situation like this, she's a full grown woman fully capable of figuring things out on her own. mistakes can always happen, i'd never go with other people to a place i don't know and solely rely on them, i'd feel unsafe doing this, because there is always a possibility of getting seperated from the others and then you need to be prepared.
Another girl brain vs. boy brain! Women are considerate of others, making sure others aren’t left behind, while men are in their own world, expecting women to just know. 🙄
I really hate Tom. He is a man child in every step of the series. I have a niece and a nephew, if they choose not to eat, no video game. If you threat with consequences you need to be prepared to act on it.
Story 2: The fact that every other adult in that situation even made her feel like the ah is everything you need to know. As someone young enough to grow up with kids treated like that: it only serves to create the most entitled and spoiled rotten adults. Their boys will have a very rough life if they do not learn that real consequences come from this kind of behavior. And her husband should know better than to blame her, same with her mother, it’s insane to me. No vacation is worth having to placate two demon children.
Story 2: mom is the MVP! Also, yes the hospital will show you how to change a diaper and my pediatrician told me that you are not supposed to give babies water. I feel like it's a matter of educating yourself by talking to doctor cuz you can't trust people online. And if you have them, ask moms you know! Aunts, mom, grandmother's. Ask people you trust and would take advice from. Raising kids is a fight everyday!
Idk, some of the worst things I've heard new parents do they did because their mom/grandma used to do it with them and said to! So much of our understanding of what's safest and best practices for raising babies has changed a lot in the past couple decades. Well meaning moms and grandmas can give terrible advice. I've known new moms who were told to start giving water to their newborns by their mom, told to put rice cereal in their bottles at 3 months old to help them sleep through the night by their moms, downright dangerous sleep/car safety recommendations, not to mention the terrible misconceptions about breastfeeding that come from a generation where breastfeeding was actively discouraged. Parents can be a good resource, but always double check with your pediatrician/reputable sources cause I've seen some dangerous stuff come from elders!
1:26:31 hahahahha omg 😂 the confidence with which you said that gabagool was a side salad lmaooo wtf. Girl…no. He was trying to order a specific type of Italian meat that the restaurant didn’t have. & then he ordered spaghetti instead. The reason he said the salad thing is because the Italian insurance salesman that they are there with ordered his meal with specific orders & said if it wasn’t exactly like that he would send it back. So Michael was trying to copy him thinking it would make him sound assertive and cool, like how he sees the insurance man. But Michael’s request is ridiculous and makes no sense, which is why it’s funny. The side salad bit had nothing to do with the gabagool
Story number one: ( I feel like I disagree with Alejandra a lot. I think as you get older your boundaries becomes stronger and you have less room for bullshit.) Anyway, I have this fear that when I get married my husband is going to have his mom's back over mine. That would be a major issue. I think a lot of these stories come down to boundaries. The couple set their boundaries. The husband did not have the wife's back. His mother ruined their special day. That's a huge red flag. (Btw, I made this comment before I even heard the Reddit decision. Glad to know I'm not the only one that feels this way.) 😊 Story 2: need another situation in which a man does not have his wife's back. There's too many stories about women who handle everything in the household but yet they get the shaft when they put up boundaries. Would have been really nice to see the husband have the wife's back and then be United. I think kids acting out happens for a reason. I'm truly wondering about discipline. There's too many stories about guys not having the balls to pull their weight in a marriage.
Why can't she just change her boundaries to his, why does it seem like it's always the guy that has to change his boundaries, just noticing the observation that I pick up on
@@dream6562the first story was disrespect on both side. Mother in law stated she won't respect the bride's wishes and made a speech. OP shouldn't have talked with her friends like and dealt with it in a different way by talking to MIL later. The husband should have communicated with his new wife well about his mom and told his mom STICTLY no speech. It's not that hard to respect your wives wishes which is the problem in a lot of husbands. Why do women have to bend and break their back for their husbands when the husbands can't do the same? The second story definitely shows who manages the kids more. The husband should at least have supported his wife's decision and when they are alone, he could voice out his disagreements. The kids were being wild and disobedient and OP told him but he dismissed her. After they were being crazy, she gave him two choices, he made his and still blames her. A lot of stories highlight how the husband doesn't respect the wife's boundaries and gets mad when she reinforces them. If I am getting married to a man, the least I expect him to do is take my side when my boundaries are being disrespected even when it comes to his family.
@@bookssolitude6519 ok then I present to you an alternate scenario, I'm getting married, I actually do want my family to give a speech but wife wants absolutely no speech
@@dream6562 that is something to talk with your wife. Why doesn't she want a speech? If she got problems with long speech, you can tell everyone to make their speech short. You and her are marrying on this day. That's not her day only. If having a civil discussion is not working out, go to couples' counseling.
Nah story one is a dub 😂 the starting remark of "being forbidden" to make a speech 🙄 i wouldve walked out. She is not the asshole at all for continuing her conversation. The husband didnt stand up for his wife. This is not hard. She was rude and he was a crappy husband. If the MIL felt so personally attack she should've had a private conversation with the couple.
Second Story: NTA as a parent I agree 100% If they are not going to listen then they need to feel the real consequences of their actions. The boys are old enough to know the difference. If you had let them stay they will think they can do whatever they want and nothing will happen to them.
I’m SCREAMING at the gabbagool😂😂😂 I automatically think of the sapranos!! Hellooooooo and I can’t be the only one 😂 gabagool is a bad way was saying capocollo which is a type of Italian meat 😂
I disagree with the wedding speech one. She set a boundary and the mom disrespected it. Plus you kept saying “do what you want during the speech” but she did do what she wanted? She kept her conversation going. Also, it’s not her responsibility to start things off on the right foot when the family had no intention of doing the same.
Story 4: IMO he is the asshole. I get that he didn't INTEND to abandon his pregnant wife, but the fact is, he did! In that moment, selfish, tunnel-vision thinking took over for him. He was only thinking about getting himself off of that train. The fact that he has a pregnant wife who is probably moving a bit more slowly and having some difficulty carrying cumbersome luggage was NOWHERE in his mind at that moment. So, while he didn't maliciously ditch her, he IS the asshole for his shortsightedness and inconsideration for his wife.
I’m in BC, Canada. The nurses taught me how to swaddle and bathe my newborn. I had to ask specifically for help with breastfeeding because I found it difficult. They also have you bring your car seat into the hospital before you leave to show that you can correctly and safely bring them home. They did send us home with a book, “Babies Best Chance” and a DVD about “purple crying”. I was so sleep deprived by that point that I couldn’t do any reading so I highly recommend doing some before the baby comes 😂
First story: Unfortunately the bride looks worse than the mother in law, definitely something that should have been handle in private later. It’s one of those situations that even though the mother in law is in the wrong, the bride’s actions make her look petty and childish/almost worse than the mother in law who actually did do something wrong by going against a request of no speeches. Probably most guests outside wedding party/family wouldn’t have known how strict she felt about no speeches so she definitely started her marriage out on the wrong foot
dude the boys that kept fighting was literally how my brothers were. I was stuck being the mediator, and always getting second handedly punished for their behaviour. my little brother had problems regulating his anger, and my older brother stimmed by triggering the youngest. what a time
For the first story, I wished so badly that someone would’ve mentioned how she started the speech. She did something that was already disrespectful in the MOST disrespectful way by telling everyone that the bride is the reason she couldn’t give a speech, but was going to anyways.
This!!!! This crazy lady not only went against what she wanted, but openly disrespected her. Not saying I agree with what the bride did, going with an everyone sucks here. She should have started kicking her husband under the table and told him to intervene. Then she could have avoided any blame or criticism for being openly disrespectful.
that’s the thing!!! i think the start of the speech was the worst of it, and if that part weren’t there, maybe i’d agree and bite the bullet
And it was HER wedding! Who’s give a crap about what the mom wants! So disrespectful. 😡
That's exactly what I thought. This was a power move by the MIL and was so wrong. It was a totally dig
Exactly!!! THANK YOU! Why should the bride have to give her the time of day when she was so disrespectful about the way she went about it. No matter what else she ended up saying in the speech you can obviously see the malicious intent. The entitlement is crazy and my first thought was “ANNULMENT!”
Licensed Behavioral Specialist here: when I hear the story about the kids behavior I hear behaviors that have been reinforced (either by being ignored by adults or getting a thing they want in order to stop) BUT there could be other things at play we don’t know about like different diagnoses and such. What mom did was FLAWLESS. That was a natural consequence to their behavior and now they know for future vacations if they act out of line mom will follow through and have them leave
I was a Special Ed teacher and did different Behavior type (edit” techniques with certain kids (then carried their philosophy over, to an extent, when I began teaching inclusion). I was cheering the mom on. Badly behaved entitled kids become badly behaved entitled adults. Better late than never for mom to put her foot down and teach them that there are consequences to their actions. I hope she keeps it up!
I have ADHD and have my RBT, exactly if they are undiagnosed with behavioral problems a big flag is doing the exact opposite of what parent has said and having understanding boundaries.
A bit worrying that you’re a behavioural specialist and don’t know what a natural consequence is. Natural consequences are those that occur WITHOUT parental involvement. Example: you threw that box of chalk in the pool and now it’s all wet, we won’t be able to use these now and we’re missing out on lots of fun.
The mothers intervention here was not a natural consequence, it was a consequence enforced by her. That’s not to say whether it was was right or wrong though.
I don't hear anything in the story about setting boundaries. Also a warning first. And small changes. Like they don't behave in the restaurant, they get back to the hotel and don't eat. They don't behave at the beach, one of the parents or grandmother takes the boys home and the girl is able to enjoy the beach, etc. Ignoring their behavior is surely not ok, but the action taken is extreme and punished the sister too, as well as the parents practically. This cannot be something new...
I was just coming to say this lol
second story: mom is actively stopping the “boys will be boys” mentality there. good for her! dad is an enabler and probably why the kids turned out that way.
I don't know how involved grandma is but she definitely is enabling it when she's around. My grandparents love me and my cousins but know their grandkids can and will do wrong
@@basementdwellercosplayoh absolutely! she’s a problem too lol
WORD! And clearly it worked, because they were crying the whole way home. Kids aren’t guaranteed to be little hellions just because they’re 8-9 years old, and judging by the fact that they were crying the whole way home, obviously consequences work. So what if you have to be the “bad guy” to not be a full enabler-next time the kids think about raising hell, they might hold off a bit when they remember how they got their family vacation cancelled by being disruptive little goblins. (And you point out that Dad is the enabler… I hope that he doesn’t convince the kids that it was Mom who ruined the vacation by enforcing consequences for the kids’ actions… like NO, the kids ruined it by choosing to continue acting that way despite her setting the boundary!)
I was really hoping that mom would have left to have her husband and MIL experience the little monsters they are raising.
Yeah,, sounds like raising little psychopaths😮... nope
I wish youtube would allow every chapter story to have its own comment section
Yes! Cause everyone always gets hooked on the first one
“I know the bride forbids speeches” then don’t do one. I understand if she got drunk and forgot but she literally STATED she wasn’t supposed to. That’s what has me messed up.
Feels like she was throwing shade to the bride too
Yep! She was completely stomping her on her wedding day by giving that speech KNOWING it was unwanted. But bc it’s her only son- she can do what she wants. PSYCHO BOY MOM
Yeah, absolutely. I wouldn't be spending the day with him either. To not have your back on the wedding day... Like unless he didn't agree then they have issues and should have discussed it before the ceremony commenced.
Same here, I disagree with the girls. I think this is not on the bride because the mother in law stated in her speech that she was doing the speech no matter what the bride wanted, I feel like this mother in law will not respect future boundaries, the bride is not the asshole. The bride needed to show that she won’t lay flat for her for future issues like the mother in law trying to get too involved in their private life.
While I agree with that once it’s begun I just can’t see a way to not also become the asshole. For me the 15 minutes of disrespect on my wedding day aren’t worth the ruining of the day. It feels like a pick your battles thing at that point.
Story 4 - In some countries, the train doors 100% close if something is obstructing it. I've seen far too many tourists get their arms stuck in the doors of the Tube, thinking that they would bounce open if they put their arm in the way. OP called their trip a 'Holiday', so it's safe to assume that they are not from the US.
I was just going to say this. Where I live there aren’t automatic sensors in the doors so you have to rely on the conductor who is supposed to look and check before closing the doors. Best not to stick your arm in the door regardless
And also trains have space between them and Platform, even if he just went out from the train and step to the "safe zone" after yellow line it would be to far to keep doors open
Subway cars have seats extending from door to door as well, we don’t know where they’re sitting or how crowded it is.
I feel like it should be illegal for doors to 100% close 😭
What he did was wrong anyway. You know your wife ain't that fast. What you do is get ready for the next station so both by the door with suitcases. From there you look for a new route.
Story 1: My mom threatened to not go to the wedding because she wasn’t the first one to walk down the aisle (yes I said that right) and she called my husband and said “I hope you understand , if I’m not first I’m not going” and he said “No I don’t understand. We will not be changing anything, it’s your choice to go or not” and that’s when I knew I married a keeper. Sadly moms a narcissist.
Yup, my mother always had to be not only included in every single decision, event, etc. But she also had to have the helper spot, or the leader. Doesn't matter if it's 'YOUR' day, and you are so 'goody-two-shoes' for pointing it out, and 'no one would be there without her' 😳
His mom, or yours?
@@helianabanes4875 I believe they meant their own mother is a narcissist. 👍
So it was your mother that your husband to he said that to and not his own. I wonder if it was his mother he would have that same energy?
@@kelseyfitzgerald872 that was my question too. Although, as the child of narcissists, I do understand how heroic it can feel when someone else actually sees their treatment of you, and stands up to them.
First story: If I was the bride I wouldve had a very honest talk with my partner and probably go something like: “If you can’t prioritize me on our wedding night, how can I trust you to stand with me for the rest of our lives?”
Wow that was so rude, you disrespected your mil. You knew how your mil was and you chose a public setting to humiliate her. You could take her after separate and tell her you did not like it. This is realy petty behavior. I bet she would not have done it if it where her mum. If my partner would have done this i would be so mad.
I would understand if that soecific speech was described as in bad taste with the content but the MIL was right! IT'S HER SONS WEDDING TOO!
Classic bridezilla move!
And I also doubt she would have done that if it was her own mother doing that.
@@JustLIkerapunzel I got the sense it was with how it started, I feel like it would’ve had such a different vibe if the MIL hadn’t specifically said ‘i know I’ve been told not to do this but…’
I feel like it starts leading to that territory of MIL regularly disregarding her adult son and wife’s boundaries.
It’s tough though because I also personally would never be so blatantly disrespectful in a public setting
On top the husband agreed in the first place with the request and then takes the side of his mother ? This is a problem on their own
@@paulinadeboer3604 no one mentioned how the speech started with the MIL being disrespectful to the bride.
First story: If someone’s gonna openly say they’re going to disrespect me and my wishes I would 100% do it back
Simple. I definitely think the mother deserved it.
Yeah this was a hard stop for me. Totally respect Morgan and Alejandra would have bit the bullet, but mom litterally openly announced that she was blatantly ignoring what the bride wanted. If nothing else? I draw the whole line there. This is their first marital issue, and new husband is immediately not on his new wife's side. Not divorcable but this to me is also problematic. You're immediately failing to be a united front with your partner ghat you JUST married. That's not cool weather you think the speech thing is excusable or not. It was her boundary that she was very transparent about from the beginning.
Red flag that husband took mommy's side over the love of his life. Mother in law feels very attention seeking, and this is an odd occasion to seek it in such a passive aggressive way.
This is what I keep thinking. Like MIL purposely defied what she asked knowing she wouldn’t throw a fit in the middle of the wedding and tell her off and expected her to just suck it up and let her have her shining moment as the only person to give a heartfelt speech. She got exactly what she deserved, to not be engaged with. She was given express direction to shut the hell up and since she couldn’t she was simply ignored.
Her use of the word “forbidden” told me what I needed to hear. And then to add “my only son, I’ll do whatever I want” ooooo girl… no ma’am, not in this house.
Story 2: as a teacher who has studied child development and psychology extensively in my university journey… she did the right thing. Children learn when there are consequences and when there is structure. They could use a structured system in their lives to help them understand boundaries and consequences
First story MIL not only did exactly the one thing the couple asked her not to, she was DISRESPECTUFUL to the bride while doing it! 100% bride should've shamed her for her disrespectful behavior. Husband should've shut his mom down immediately
Yeah I feel like they’re missing the tone here, which is that husband knew she would do it, didn’t stop it in any way, and then was grey rocking her on their wedding day. The totality is the red flag.
I think with story 4 it's the same as 'guys don't think like that.' It does feel like an honest mistake in the heat of the moment, but I do think that you should be worried about where your pregnant wife is and making sure she is getting out with or before you while exiting, but he was just so caught up in the rush to worry about that.
She is 5 months pregnant. Like come on she is not crippled! Many women don't even know they are pregnant until 3th month.
It was an honest mistake and I am sure they would not have had 3 !!! Suitcases and backpack if she wasn't able to take one suitcase. Otherwise that would have been dump to travel like that.
Unfortunate how it went down but clear hormonal overreaction to just cancel the trip when he literally called to say he'll take the next train to catch up right away
Second story: as a parent I honestly feel the kids are acting that way because they know they can get away with it. Mom tried to discipline by cutting the trip short and the dad and grandma blamed her instead of the kids. The kids see these things and know mom is going to be the one to take the heat for their behaviour.
Yup. I agree. My stepneice and nephew act this way because parents have no follow through or are undermined by the grandparents. My kids didn’t behave this way because the consequences were very real for them and they knew if I made a threat (i.e. we’ll leave) I followed through with it. My guess is that the kids push back when boundaries are set and the parents cave and say “fine, but don’t do it again!”
Story 4: I just got back from visiting family in London. I was 34 weeks pregnant when I went. I was able to handle getting on and off the trains no problem, but of course everyone is different. Just to give some type of context to one experience if it helps.
I personally don’t think the husband was the AH. I think it was just an unfortunate miscommunication. Those trains move quick and take a while to come back around if you miss your stop.
Yeah I agree. I don't think he was the ass. It was a mistake. The only thing that tips it for me is that he says he thinks he was right like he's not approaching her with the angle of I was moving too fast and I made a mistake. I'm sorry. I feel like that would have smoothed a lot of this over
Nah he was ah. Just because some people have easy pregnancy, doesn’t mean it will be easy for everyone else. My last pregnancy was hard! My legs and feet were swollen four times the regular size. He could’ve made sure he got her off first, or he could’ve, say to her, we will get off next stop, which was his solution, for her to do, and he will met her there.
Alejandra matching the furniture, we love a themed queen
And her tumblr matches too! Lol
@@FallenOne93 she’s the definition of girlboss actually
She is truly serving monochrome realness
@@BambiBambino the colour palette princess exactly
Being able to own multiple white/cream colored items is terrifying and also a super power Miss Alejandra isn’t spilling ketchup on ANYTHING
Story 2: I have a degree in child psych and ms in behavior analysis! ❤ My first thought is what were the consequences before it escalated to that point? Each behavior that she described should have had a consequence. Going out too far in the ocean, give a warning and if they do it again they are done at the beach. Take the daughter and leave the boys at home. Fighting over chalk? The boy who threw it should pay for the chalk or work for it with allowance if possible. Also provide lots of reinforcement and attention to the boys anytime they are NOT fighting and behaving well. Also teaching coping strategies seems necessary here, these kids are getting so angry and reactive to everyday problems. Give them solutions that are appropriate! I’ll get off my soap box now 😂
As a new mom I enjoyed your soapbox. Thanks for your perspective! I love the idea of immediate specific consequences vs one big consequence after multiple bad behaviors. My son is nearly 2 and still listens to what I ask, but I know the season of pushing boundaries is about to begin!
Came here to ask, and say this.
It's the "I know I'm not supposed to, but this is MY son and I will do what I want" entitlement comment that gets me, and I don't think there was good intentions with it when that was the opening line. I would probably react the same way by ignoring the mil
Exactly! She had every intention to go against the bride. I get sometimes you get carried away in the moment and just go oops I'm so sorry I forgot no speeches. But MIL knew exactly what she was doing. So no, I don't think OP was the AH for talking during the speech. MIL's statement and actions scream, "F your feelings", and bride just gave back the same energy. As for the husband, I get thats his mom but wife takes precedence. Stand up for ur wife sir! It's not about the speech, it's about the blatant disregard for ur wife's wishes.
but it’s her ONLY son 🙄
@kennedy.5152 oh yes! How could I forget! Thankfully my fmil has 2 sons lol
man yikes!!!!!!!!! i couldn’t believe it.
Seriously, they blew over this so quickly, they love giving far too much grace. They're all such peacekeepers is painfully annoying.
Story 4: it sounds strange that his wife would get this pissed out of a small occurrence, maybe he has a history of acting this way - acting before thinking and effing some situations up - and she was just getting more and more fed up by the minute.
To be fair as well being pregnant is very hard, she’s likely very mentally and physically tired and that could ass to her potentially being more annoyed at a small occurrence - we don’t know really
To be fair as well being pregnant is very hard, she’s likely very mentally and physically tired and that could ass to her potentially being more annoyed at a small occurrence - we don’t know really
The fact that the parents are mad also makes me think he does this stuff often
Agreed, everyone's pregnancy can be different but at 5months you're not very heavy or big to pull a suitcase or to get up and off a train. Even if you're feeling however she didn't NEED to react that way because it was clearly a MISTAKE he's human. He had MOST of the luggage and was trying to not let the vacation be ruined....how hard would it have been to forgive him!
Nah me rn as someone not pregnant, I’d be MAD if my bf didn’t even bother to make sure we both could make it and just left me and dashed… like okay I’m just gonna leave then bc how are you just gonna forget me like that 😅 also in a foreign place??? Absolutely not 😂
story 2: this sounds like years of permissive parenting, having the kid just walk all over her with minimal or zero consequences. and it sounds like shes been a single mother in a marriage.
(BA in Psych - focus Children & Families, MSW Candidate, focus Children & Families)
Your credentials aren’t required to make a comment on RUclips, Dr.
@@basicimagemarketing6499Morgan asked for experts in child psychology, parenting and family dynamics to comment. So I think OP was demonstrating to her they fit into that category.
@@xwinwinwinx yes this, thank you 🙂
This is similar to what I was thinking. I’m a mum of 3 and currently doing honours in psychology. This give me a sense of dad isn’t on the same parenting page as mum and the kids run over the mother every day. No one had the mums back.
I would have done the same thing, but a little different. I would have told my mother and husband to stand up or this is what happens. She set a boundary.
@@basicimagemarketing6499 lol they specifically asked for people with credentials to chime in
“Gabagool” is just the way some Italians pronounce capocollo, a type of cold cut
First mother in law is the type to say “I know we aren’t allowed to kiss the baby on the face but I can’t help myself”. Boundaries. Patience should have started with the mother in law. Bride needs some too
Story 2: Both mom and dad need couple's therapy about implementing structure and getting on the same page. Yeah, the kids found out real quick about their behavior. But they should have found out a lot sooner lol. This is a larger problem that comes from the parents - the kiddos are just experiencing the symptoms of the issue.
And teachers have been dealing with these kids for how long?
story 2: the dad being dismissive and saying that “it’ll be fine” makes it sound like he isn’t the one who actually deals with the kids at their worst (as i’m typing i’m hearing you guys pretty much say the same thing lol). she “ruined” the vacation for him because if she left, he would actually have to deal with the kids himself
No way my parents would have allowed that behavior. Our grandmother would have helped our parents pack up to go back home.
9:52 i think she is showing the family that if they are disrespectful to her, she will keep living her life and won’t let them bulldoze her when they purposely “ignore” the boundaries set up ahead of time
STORY 2: I'm a mom of 3 toddlers 2 boys and 1 girl. I grew up with a mother who really let us do what we wanted without any guidance or true parenting and when it was time for us to listen, we never did as we didn't respect her. Things are very different now for my family and honestly they sound like they need some guidance in general maybe from the dad as he plays a big part in how his sons are, they learn from repetition and from watching us their parents.
yeah the dad sounds like an enabler
My mum was a single mum to my brother and I. We had our moments of pushing our luck and being insufferable. However, my mum was on a strict 3 warning policy. First warning is telling us we aren't behaving well, second was the threat of consequences, third was consequences. There's been times were day-trips were cut shorts, dinners out were cut short because we didn't listen, but we learned to behave in public and we learned to listen to our mum. I worked at a museum for 6 months and saw so many kids misbehaving and parents would just warn of consequences but never follow through with them. The scenario of 'if you keep this up we're leaving', and seeing the group walk around again and again for 2 hours with the kids still being brats, and the parent:guardian keeping up the 'we're going to leave if you don't stop', like how is this going to teach your kids to listen if there's no consequences?
as a person who fought hard with their sibling during childhood hell yeah also there must be smth that they feel like rivarly is a solution to. Maybe they don't feel appriciated for who they are or smth else. They do seem to be lacking some attention and they are following what they see. Idk what the parents' relationship is like but if they argue and kids hear/see it then yeah that may be a reason. If everything else is alr tho, then I think reassuring them that they are loved and cared for without having to bring each other down is the way. The issue rarely is the kids themselves tho.
It’s OK to be bored… That was probably one of the hardest lessons. I had to learn as an adult, and not only do adults need to learn that, but children do too! You guys are spot on!!❤
First story:
I feel like you guys are missing something. The bride set a boundary, no speeches. Something everyone understood except for the mother in law for making the speech and the husband for not stopping his mom and allowing his mom to ignore the boundary set by his wife. All the mother in law had to do was not make a speech, which I feel is easier to do then sit and "respectfully" watch someone walk over you and bluntly say "I am going to do what I want."
Agreed
THIS!! you should not have to be the bigger person at your own wedding!! If it were my wedding and she openly disrespected me I would have stood up and said "you know you shouldn't be giving a speech so please respect ME at MY wedding and stop before you start."
The MAJOR factor is if this is a repetitive thing or once in a blue moon. Also depending heavily on everyone’s personalities. If the MIL was kind ever since then yea bride is TAH. Other way around where the bride has been patient and forgiving MIL’s disrespect, then NTA. So I agree w them. It just depends on their backgrounds.
The wedding is not only for the bride. It was his wedding too and “not liking speeches” is really not a do or die thing. This bride is really immature.
@@dezles6056thank you finally somebody says this
Story 2 - NTA!!
I have the feeling that OP was the only "dealing" with the children's behavior, while the husband and the grandmother were just watching from the side and saying shit like: "Let it go" "They're just children" "They're gonna stop in their own"
The moment she decided to stop dealing with them, they got upset
I also think it's unfair for the daughter to miss the trip, but it's not OP'S fault. She probably is fed up with them as well, so the trip was already ruined for her
first story: i do not think the bride should have just bit the bullet at all. the MIL started the speech by openly saying she is disrespecting the bride's wishes? she has no obligation then to respect the MIL's. if OP didnt make a point to embarrass her, the MIL would just continue to step all over OP's boundaries. I actually think the OP was respectful compared to what I would do. Im just not the kind of person that would take that kind of disrespect.
Anyone else pick up on how they agree "you can do anything you want, you just have to deal with the consequences," and "Fuck around and find out," in story 2, but went with AH for story one when the bride enforced consequences on her MIL who fucked around and found out 👀
Second story i come from a family like this, the mother tries and the father disrespects her, so the kids think its okay. Its purley the kids repeating behavior they have seen, and I'd bet thousands the dad laughs or some way encourages their behavior and downplays her concerns. United caregivers are the key
I grew up with a similar parent dynamic, but we weren't this crazy. We were actually really well behaved but my brothers constantly disrespect my mom. They saw that they could get away with it AND my father did it too.
100% what I was thinking! I would go mad if I had a partner like that
@@mowiie With inconsistent enforcer/enabler parenting like this, the level of chaos tends to depend on the wildest child. If they have one disruptive child picking constant fights with a sibling, most often that sibling is dragged down with him. If no siblings cross that line then usually it doesn't just start happening.
Hey Morgan, Im not sure if you are aware of this but the vacation friends advertisment is a form of scabing. They have been reaching out to influencers because all the actors can't promote movies due to the sag strike. I would look into this and the implications of scabbing for strikes.
Story 2: My aunt and her husband have 3 kids, they used to be so so so disrespectful, make chaos everywhere and they fought each other every second of the day. They had to stay with me for 4 months almost 24/7 bc their parents were having money problems and had to take almost 2 shifts daily... and understandably the rest of the family didn’t want to help. I discovered that they were like this because their parents ignored them most of the time and to "discipline" them they were hit and yelled at.
At least these kids needed routine, new forms of discipline with real consequences and they had to be according to what they did. Because if they made a mess I wasn’t going to yell at them but the consequence was them having to clean their own mess. Also understanding that sometimes it is hard for them to process their emotions and accompany them through this hard time. And that sometimes they just need to be little shits, for example the youngest liked to bite so when he felt the urge to bite I would redirect him to biting a teether. The oldest liked to hit so I bought him boxing gloves and took 1 hour to practice with him martial arts every other day. The middle one liked to draw on my walls so I bought him art supplies so he had somewhere to explore his activities.
Thank you for stepping up for these children
i love this comment
You’re an amazing person. Thank you for being so willing to work with the kiddos
100% both parents fault
You're an amazing cousin, you gave these kids so much, be proud :3
Ok I’m sorry but I died laughing hearing you say gabagool was a side salad! Gabagool is an Italian American way of saying Capicola or coppa which is a cured meat, think prosciutto and salami meeting in the middle
I would watch a 5 hour THT episode without hesitation. I clear my schedule for this show ❤
Sameee it just makes my day soooo much better and that hour and a half goes by so fasttt 🥲
Yes, please.
Sameee, I listen in the background while doing housework
Oh oh a Marathon, Live! With fan submissions, 1 theme an hour, interchanging hosts. I recognise they might need a month to recover from the stress 😂
@@nikagulicit really does 😭😭 I watch while doing chores, cooking, cleaning, etc and it really feels like the episodes just go by so quick
i spent my day yelling at rowdy middle schoolers while substitute teaching so this ep was very cathartic 💆♀️
I think an important distinction with the "girl brain vs boy brain" isn't that our brains are physically different, but that we are *socialized* differently. To go off of your beach example, girls are often raised to pay attention to others and be hyper aware of their surroundings, while boys are taught to focus more on themselves as individuals and aren't given the same "be aware of your surroundings" talks. Of course this is all generalized but I 100% agree that because men and women are socialized so differently they often have much different ways of interacting with others.
Edit: this is getting a little more attention than I thought, I like reading y'all's comments! I'd like to clarify I am not a neuroscientist, and I'm not saying that there aren't *any* physical differences in male and female brains. After a bit of a Google search it seems that research on this topic is generally inconclusive and likely pretty sexist. I am saying that based on my personal experience, a lot of men's behaviors have to do with the ways they are raised, not because "men are wired that way". I know Morgan didn't mean it that way either! I too, notice differences between "boy brain and girl brain" and think about it a lot in my daily life, so I wanted to share my thoughts :)
Actually, I learned in school that the SRY gene on the Y chromosome in biological males triggers testosterone release. This reaches the brain (where it is actually converted to estrogen!) And impacts the brain. This same impact on the brain doesn't occur in biological females as they dont have a Y chromosome.
So there are biological differences in "male" and "female" brains. But I also agree with your point that socialisation plays a huge role as well.
@@xwinwinwinx wait so how does this make them biologically inconsiderate
@@eliseg0001 I don't remember much more than that as I learnt this a long time ago. So I would have to google it so I encourage you to do the same if you want to learn more.
From what I remember it affects the signalling pathways in different regions of the brain. This impacts behaviour. Also there is some research that shows this process of estrogen (converted from testosterone) in the brain in biological males can increase individual's chance of developing neuropsychiatric disorders.
@@xwinwinwinx While it is true that men on average have higher testosterone levels, as a neuroscience master's graduate i would like to add come context. Men might have higher testosterone levels, but there are specific types of testosterone receptors that can differ in numbers and location in the brain. For example, men might have higher testosterone levels, but if they also have more receptors, the result might be the same as a lower number of testosterone and a lower number of receptors. The way hormones interact with internal factors such as receptors, neurotransmitters, brain path ways or external factors, is so incredibly compex that we are not yet in the position to make such decisive conclusions. In addition, the same hormone can have different functions depending on context and different hormones can have the same functions (for example, testosterone has been linked to aggression, but so has oxyticon, it depends on the context). I think this is all fascinating and hope the research will progress in the following years so we can find out more about these topics :)
💯, yes maybe there are some differences in brains themselves but this is primarily a difference in socialization which is why geographically and historically there's been many different societies that that don't face these same issues between males and females.
As a mom and school counselor, the kids I see that act like the vacation boys are the same kids whose parents cannot agree on discipline. They know dad does not support mom, and he has shown her feelings and opinions do not matter. Dad has likely learned this from grandma, which neither see a problem with.
The first story- it’s important to
Recognize this is the mil refusing to accept their boundary, it will keep happening if they are not a United front holding their boundaries. Every family event, if they have kids, anything there is always boundaries the people who love you need to get on board with.
Story 1: I would definitely get an annulment. Sometimes you only need 1 situation to show you someone’s real character.
Wow... That's so messed up. It WAS HER SONS WEDDING TOO.
But I think everyone involved acted like a butthole. The MIL could have adressed them upfront about how it's her sons wedding too. And her husband could have talked to her in advance that he didn't have a problem with speeches and doesn't want to forbid it on his wedding. They could have compromised about the MIL simply being allowed to share a few worths of 2 minutes max or something like that instead of a 15 minute speech she wanted most likely to give.
And the bridge cluld have decided to ask her husband to stop her when she started as to not look like an asshole herself.
I doubt she would have done what she did if it was her mother and if so wow what a brat....
Overall don't get married if you can't communicate well enough to be able to sort out such a situation as a couple. If that is enough for both to not spend the day after the wedding together, they were BOTH TOXIC for esch other to begin with imo
Seriously, he's shown that on their most important day yet he won't stand up to his mom. That's the red flag there. Leave at the first sign.
Second story: my Latina mother would have canceled the vacation as soon as we fought in the car on the way the whole time. Cut that shit out immediately lol powpow con una chancleta 😂
Same, in fact it would have been my dad with el cinturón (belt)
Powwow con una chancleta 😂😂😂
39:58: honestly as a mom of a little over a year, it really depends on your nurses you have at the hospital. mine were absolutely amazing at showing us what we needed to do, but they also gave us a booklet provided by the hospital that in their words was “a manual for newborns if they made one” but also just asking your nurses, no question is a dumb/bad question when you’ve got a newborn.
Story 1: NTA she set a boundary before the wedding and the mother in law not only over stepped it she disrespected the bride by saying “but I don’t care” she clearly doesn’t respect the bride or her wishes and she clearly loves the attention and the husband shouldve handled his mom and not discredit he’s new wife’s feelings
I would be absolutely LIVID if my future mother-in-law did anything like that. I hope OP’s husband comes to his senses and starts supporting OP.
Exactly!!!!! Like the groom had multiple chances to bring up his stubborn mother. Idk I really don’t agree with the story fitting “having patience” theme
Honestly was a bit baffled by the response especially Morgan’s. Let’s say instead of speeches MIL wore white because it was her favorite color despite being asked not to. I am almost positive Morgan would have not had the same response. I also thought it was funny the husbands in both story had the same response (get angry at wife and give cold shoulder) but one was justified. They wanted first wife to have patience for a grown ass woman acting like an entitled brat but the second wife was right to give no patience for two children. Second wife could’ve given the kids another chance and if behavior was not corrected then gone home. Both of these wives were being disrespected by their families imo
Second story: had my first baby and the nurse handed me the baby and said “okay you’re good to feed her” and went to leave the room. I think she saw the look on my face and was like “have you breastfed before?” Uhhhhh no!
To top it off my husband tested positive for Covid and couldn’t stay with me. I had just had a C-section and they wouldn’t allow any new visitors. My room was a “hazardous room” so the nurses barely came to check on me. I did my first 48 hours of being a new parent by myself with covid 🙃
They don’t teach you anything when you have a kid. You have to ask or do the research before
Parent here, weighing in on the bratty kids vacay- the biggest part of being a parent is consistency and follow through, any type of parenting style can be effective if there is always consistency and always follow through. When children know what to expect they act accordingly, plain and simple.
Edit to add: since you asked, when I brought my kid home they did have instructional videos they required the new parents to watch before you left the hospital lol
Yep thought the same thing. Mom did the right thing, they needed to see consequences followed through. They'd been talked to enough, eventually you have to act
What country are you in? I didn’t have to watch anything before taking my baby home 🙃
I agree. Consequences doesn't have to mean hitting - it can mean going home, a "time in" by leaving the situation with the child, holding back the reward, having the child wait outside with or without the parent.
If a child is 2-3, they will have tantrums and misbehave. But 4-> they start catching on to rules. If they have enough quality food, sleep, sports and play, they're able to follow orders.
I like to travel with my kids so I have a specific control/warning voice. "Take your bags and follow mum. I am serious", and they comply.
@@laceydean8426 I’m in the USA, out of curiosity what country are you in? It’s interesting to see differences like this!
@@lollapadoozy7107USA as well. In Texas
Story 2. This happened coz the dad and the gran are enabling the bad behaviour. And the mum seems to be the only one who gives them boundaries, gets no help with it but then is left to deal with it.
First story: it says a lot that the mother-in-law started the speech off by saying“ I know I’m for bidden bride, BUT”…. Ehhh she definitely doesn’t respect the bride or her wishes and the fact that the husband took his mom’s side says a lot. The mother-in-law should’ve respected the brides wishes, period it’s their day. MIL doesn’t respect the bride/wife and is going to continue to test her boundaries throughout the marriage!
I once saw someone get his hand caught on the train's door. He managed to squeeze his hand out, but his watch fell in. I got it, squeezed my hand into the door, gave it to him, and after the adrenaline went down I realized what I did was quite dangerous and kinda stupid.
it’s funny that the theme of this episode is patience failed to load when i’ve been super impatient all day waiting for this to post lmao
She low key prepped us for this
No paper degree, but I have 4 sons! 😂😂😂 Kids do get pretty wild and will push the limits. However, you MUST follow through. This mom did the right thing. I haven't even wanted to take my kids on a vacation that costs so much money now adays! I refuse to spend money to be miserable. Follow through ❤
Lol. For the first story I would have yelled back “that’s right” when she said “ I know we are forbidden to make speeches “ then I would have laughed it off and continued the previous conversation. Then if she continued she would have looked weird for doing it.
This!
Gabagool is an Italian cold cut lol
Didn’t do speeches at my wedding, just a quick welcome and “thank you all for coming” by my dad at the beginning of the reception. Best decision ever! Our friends pulled us aside and gave private speeches throughout the night
The MIL could've just sent out a mass message with a video of her speech. So many options before standing up & proudly proclaiming you think you're the most important person at someone else's wedding lol
"Gabagool" is an Italian dialect for "capocollo" which is essentially cured pork cold cut... not a side salad 😂
I asked my mom what she thought of the 2nd story. I would say shes an expert as a teacher, a masters in early childhood development and raise 3 highly independent adults. She said that the mom was right to end the trip and agreed that the dad is the enabler. In this case given the kids ages the mom and dad need to address discipline on a united front. The best method of discipline being that you loose privileges the more you act out but are given opportunities to earn those privileges back through good behavior. She also said since it's a larger family if possible that all the kids may benefit from individual time with each parent. One day each week or month one of the siblings get their own day to go do something they enjoy with mom then with dad on the next turn. Alot of their acting out may be due to them fighting for attention amongst the large family dynamic.
During those 1on1 times grandma can spend time watching the kids and maybe grandma can also do some 1on1 dates with each kid.
Mom of boys here, who are now in their 20’s. I was strict with behavior when they were little, didn’t yell or threaten, but would guide them to correct behavior, especially in public. By the time they were 5 they would never act like the boys in the story. I always got compliments on how respectful and well behaved they were. It made junior high and high school a breeze! I believed strongly in natural consequences. You act up in a restaurant? We leave. Act like a hellion at the beach? Same consequence. As an added bonus they would lose video games, or whatever they were into for the rest of the day. If I were the mom, I wouldn’t have cut the vacation short. But my sons would have spent a lot of time in their bedrooms, separated. One parent can take turns watching them. They would learn quickly that the only way to have fun is to follow the rules. These rules should have started long before this vacation, but it’s never too late. Just as an aside, I wasn’t a task master who ruled with an iron thumb. My kids had tons of fun, made possible by my husband and I teaching them early on!
First story: I usually agree with your takes but this is a hard no lol don’t be disrespectful at someone else’s wedding. So unfair to the bride who openly expressed she didn’t want speeches at her wedding. The husband should’ve stood up for her, she shouldn’t have to accept something she doesn’t want at her own wedding. The husband really showed who’s important to him when it comes down to it
Really because I see their point and I kinda gotta agree and a good amount of times I don't
I agree. What really got me was the mil demanding to be respected but not being willing to give the bride any respect by not making her speech. I don’t think you should have to suck it up and respect anyone that isn’t willing to offer you the same courtesy. Does the hypocrisy just not register?!?!?
Yeah like, I get what they’re saying in that I probably in that scenario too would have bitten the bullet to prevent everything from being overly uncomfortable so the confrontation does make me wince a bit but… Bride was 1000% in the right on this. She expressed her wishes beforehand, and MIL not only ignored, but acknowledged that it was against their wishes and continued on. It is blatantly disrespectful
This is what I come to say. She didn’t respect the bride and grooms wish’s on THEIR day. It is t about MIL, it is about the couple. This show total disrespect from the MIL and husband.
If mother in law really wants to give a speech that much, she should have had a conversation with the bride before the wedding. Like promise the bride to give a very short speech, etc..., but if the bride still says no, that means no. She should not put the bride on a hard spot like that.
In the second story we’ve had that happen. My dad made us leave vacation early after my brother and cousin decided to be disrespectful. (There are 4 other kids who suffered because of their behavior) it worked.
I had a baby two years ago. I live in Canada. At the hospital they taught us how to feed, swaddle and bathe the baby. Then around a week after getting out of the hospital, a public nurse stops by and checks on the mom and the baby. I also took a weekend course about caring for a baby up to six months old
I wish it was like this in the US! There's no education required and you get moms with new babies giving them water or feeding them solids at 3 months. So many parents just rely on their parents to teach them, when often their parents way is wrong/outdated. Then when you try and teach them it becomes personal cause you're calling their parents way wrong and they get defensive instead of listening 😢
Hey look, another example of how shitty our healthcare is in the US. All they did with mine was make sure we put them in the car seat correctly…
Did they mention not giving them water? I didn't have kids. I would have just done breast milk/formula only (seems the norm)... I would have likely checked about water/electrolytes but it has never been mentioned in my adult life
Story Four: While he didn’t do it intentionally I think getting split up from anyone you’re traveling with, pregnant or not, bc you are more concerned with getting somewhere faster than staying together makes you at least a little bit of an AH
I feel like he definitely left at least 1 important detail out. Yes, public transportation moves quickly but children, the elderly & disabled travel daily too...
WOWWWW I COMPLETELY disagree with the first story. That MIL knew OP didn't want speeches, didn't like speeches, and decided to do it anyway because she doesn't respect her. OP had EVERY right to ignore that woman the entire time she was talking. Rediculous.
MIL literally stood in front of everyone and said “I’m going to disrespect you right here and now”
I completely agree with them though
Exactly. If she did nothing then the behaviour would be reinforced. The husband should have intervened
I really hate how they were both doing the whole "it's family, she is starting on a bad foot by being mean to MIL" as of MIL gets some kind of pass for litterally doing it first 🙄 come on.
@RedFreaderd but it wasn't just that thought it's the fact that she didn't use it as a way to trash talk since apparently everyone else didn't mind, so the speech most likely didn't have anything mean spirited
Story 2: Im a first time mom and when i gave birth they definitely gave me a crash course before we went home as far as newborn care and what to look for but you see the pediatrician frequently in the beginning to keep checking on them and answer questions.
If the MIL speeches are mean spirited like the OP said they are I wouldn't want to hear it and be brought down on my wedding day either. If you were told the rules AND reiterate that you understand the rules at the beginning of your speech you can't get mad when the bride ignores you and talks over you. It's absolutely ridiculous for anyone on his side of the family to get mad at her lol. MIL is just mad she didn't get to get a dig in at her on her wedding day. She sounds like the type that would've been smug in a underhanded way after her speech. Husband should have had his wife's back.
Story three- I’m so lucky that my boyfriend would’ve told me immediately if another girl arrived because now he has permission to invite me😂 he has a little bit of a girl brain and I love it.
Also I’m 100% the one who would be completely oblivious and just walked in front and he would’ve redirected me to walk behind just because he is way more aware of what other people are doing and how to do what’s best for those people.
He doesn't have a girl brain, he's just a good guy who loves you, you're in his mind. That's why I hate the boy/girl brain thing because a good man is just a good man and a checked out man is a checked out man.
Also love that for you, you have a good one
Story #2 reminded me of something my mom did with my older siblings(but in a much smaller scale). She'd let them know going into places like restaurants or grocery stores that if they acted up, they'd all be leaving no matter what. Only had to pull that move twice, and they never acted up again, and as more of us were born, my siblings would tell this horror story of leaving a restaurant early and stop us all from acting up😂
Last story : Yess! Alejandra! It's all over my for you page on tiktok. Love it
I think the husband not supporting the wife in the story shows that he probably is like that a lot. That probably aids the bad behaviors.
Story 2: it’s interesting to hear this from the POV of two people whose moms had that disciplinarian energy-my mom wasn’t like that. She was pretty permissive and never laid a finger/object on me as punishment, but I was also kinda a people-pleaser at that age. I responded to positive reinforcement: being good kept getting me the stuff I wanted or asked for, so I kept being good! 😅 But I had my moments, and even though my parents didn’t always get along with each other, they presented a united front during discipline, and they gave me time-outs, took toys away, yelled at me, kept me from seeing friends, or other things to discourage bad behavior.
In the story, the dad is advocating for encouraging bad behavior by just saying “it’ll improve, it’ll improve” and preserving the vacation. Why would it improve? They can act however they want and still get rewarded, so at that point, why would they not just keep doing what comes naturally to them, at the expense of everyone else around them? (And also themselves-they refused sunscreen? Been there, regretted that. My family took beach vacations every year, and I only had to have an entire vacation ruined by a bad sunburn ONCE before I started taking sun exposure seriously! AND THAT’S ON CONSEQUENCES! 🙃)
I was also a people pleaser plus I was older when my sibling was born so I could clearly see my mom being the discipline person & my dad being the fun one. I was good because getting in trouble sucked & I knew it made my mom feel bad to be the only one enforcing consequences.
Story 2: I can almost guarantee that the dad is not the parent that is actively disciplining their kids so the awful behavior at the beginning of the vacation was not as unbearable to him as it was for the mom (who I’m sure if the only ‘parent’ not ‘friend’ that actually raised their children)
34:34 Hey guys! Absolutely love the show but just wanted to make a note to say that meltdown is an autism specific term. All kids throw tantrums, but not all kids have meltdowns. To help, I like to think of the difference as, a tantrum stops when the kid gets what they want. A meltdown is something that really can’t be helped and mostly has to be ridden out/soothed as it is continued, even if the child gets what they want. This is not hate at all, just sharing my knowledge as an autistic person! But other than this tiny note, I completely agree. The dad and MIL were out of line and should have been there to support their wife/DIL.
I love writing a list after a break up. It really helps me focus on what I don't have to deal with instead of missing them.
Baby 1 was an easy pregnancy for me, baby 2 was the pits from day one, sick, swollen feet, bloated, sleepy, lethargic, etc.
Pregnancy not only differs from person to person, but from one pregnancy to the next.
I’ve been refreshing all morning! Let’s gooooo!!!
Sameeee
Not same
Story 2: I'm a parent of a 4 year old. We have done up to a 5 day vacation in airbnbs. What I would have done is one parent stay with grandma and the well behaving child. One go home with the misbehaving children. You also needed to state this and set the consequence before doing it and do it all in a calm manner. . We go back and forth so its not always one parent. You also need to work on these skills at home. This would have made a big impact and not punished grandma and the well behaving child. And yes, this is small things at home and not enforcing what your saying.
We try out best to do gentle parenting, not permissive.
For story 4, I saw this happen to a couple last month in Paris. The woman’s face when those doors closed… we felt so bad! Those train doors will suddenly shut! Fortunately they found each other at the next station, but man I can imagine how nerve wrecking it must have been. I say NTA, just an unfortunate mistake
Story 1: that mom did not have good intentions or she would not have said “the bride said no speeches but I’ll do what I want.” She knew exactly what she was doing.
Her MIL knowingly disrespect her boundaries. She supposed to just take that? Y’all keep saying she should’ve been respectful to the MIL while the MIL is actively disrespecting her…like WTF?? And the husband literally chose his mom over her on their wedding night.
This! How are you going to demand respect while openly disrespecting someone? I understand being the type to sit through it not to cause a scene and having a conversation with her after (probably what I would’ve done), but I 100% think OP was justified in what she did. It was hard to watch them say that she needs to respect MIL more since she’s family now because you shouldn’t have to be respectful to someone who violates your boundaries but also because people don’t earn your respect by being related to you, they earn it by offering you the same courtesy.
omg not morgan thinking gabagool meant salad on the side lmao
The story about leaving his pregnant wife on the train, I could relate. I ALWAYS get mad at my husband when we are driving separately for whatever reason I follow him, and he leaves me at a stop light. But calling family to complain is a bit much lol
These are both perfect examples of why women should NOT rely on men for everything/anything. You should BOTH know where you’re going and should BOTH be able to navigate public transit and be able to problem solve in a situation like this. “Leaving a pregnant woman on a train” I mean if she’s fine to travel for a vacation then she’s fine sitting on a train by herself. If she’s some helpless little pregnant woman then she probably shouldn’t be taking a train in the first place.
@@everleighxoxoxi actually agree. might sound like a reach, but to me this is also kinda misogynistic to act like (pregnant) women are unable to function on their own. sure you might need some help if your pregnant because of the physical restrictions pregnancy gives women, but it's not like she is a little child who doesn't know how to handle a situation like this, she's a full grown woman fully capable of figuring things out on her own.
mistakes can always happen, i'd never go with other people to a place i don't know and solely rely on them, i'd feel unsafe doing this, because there is always a possibility of getting seperated from the others and then you need to be prepared.
Another girl brain vs. boy brain! Women are considerate of others, making sure others aren’t left behind, while men are in their own world, expecting women to just know. 🙄
Way to break the SAG/WGA picket line, Morgan :/
Story 2 is giviiiing Desperate Housewives Lynette being a parent and Tom being pouty and siding with the kiiiids.
Ughhhh it really is. I love Tom somedays but god he needed to actually parent with her
I really hate Tom. He is a man child in every step of the series. I have a niece and a nephew, if they choose not to eat, no video game. If you threat with consequences you need to be prepared to act on it.
Yes!! I had so much hate for Tom because of his man child energy. I liked him sometimes but he was so frustrating most of the time!
Alejandra is such an awesome co-host. I love the episodes with her on!
Story 2: The fact that every other adult in that situation even made her feel like the ah is everything you need to know. As someone young enough to grow up with kids treated like that: it only serves to create the most entitled and spoiled rotten adults. Their boys will have a very rough life if they do not learn that real consequences come from this kind of behavior. And her husband should know better than to blame her, same with her mother, it’s insane to me. No vacation is worth having to placate two demon children.
"Make me want kids" might be a good title for a wholesome episode
Story 2: mom is the MVP! Also, yes the hospital will show you how to change a diaper and my pediatrician told me that you are not supposed to give babies water. I feel like it's a matter of educating yourself by talking to doctor cuz you can't trust people online. And if you have them, ask moms you know! Aunts, mom, grandmother's. Ask people you trust and would take advice from. Raising kids is a fight everyday!
Idk, some of the worst things I've heard new parents do they did because their mom/grandma used to do it with them and said to! So much of our understanding of what's safest and best practices for raising babies has changed a lot in the past couple decades. Well meaning moms and grandmas can give terrible advice. I've known new moms who were told to start giving water to their newborns by their mom, told to put rice cereal in their bottles at 3 months old to help them sleep through the night by their moms, downright dangerous sleep/car safety recommendations, not to mention the terrible misconceptions about breastfeeding that come from a generation where breastfeeding was actively discouraged. Parents can be a good resource, but always double check with your pediatrician/reputable sources cause I've seen some dangerous stuff come from elders!
1:26:31 hahahahha omg 😂 the confidence with which you said that gabagool was a side salad lmaooo wtf. Girl…no. He was trying to order a specific type of Italian meat that the restaurant didn’t have. & then he ordered spaghetti instead. The reason he said the salad thing is because the Italian insurance salesman that they are there with ordered his meal with specific orders & said if it wasn’t exactly like that he would send it back. So Michael was trying to copy him thinking it would make him sound assertive and cool, like how he sees the insurance man. But Michael’s request is ridiculous and makes no sense, which is why it’s funny. The side salad bit had nothing to do with the gabagool
Story number one: ( I feel like I disagree with Alejandra a lot. I think as you get older your boundaries becomes stronger and you have less room for bullshit.) Anyway, I have this fear that when I get married my husband is going to have his mom's back over mine. That would be a major issue. I think a lot of these stories come down to boundaries. The couple set their boundaries. The husband did not have the wife's back. His mother ruined their special day. That's a huge red flag. (Btw, I made this comment before I even heard the Reddit decision. Glad to know I'm not the only one that feels this way.) 😊
Story 2: need another situation in which a man does not have his wife's back. There's too many stories about women who handle everything in the household but yet they get the shaft when they put up boundaries. Would have been really nice to see the husband have the wife's back and then be United. I think kids acting out happens for a reason. I'm truly wondering about discipline. There's too many stories about guys not having the balls to pull their weight in a marriage.
Why can't she just change her boundaries to his, why does it seem like it's always the guy that has to change his boundaries, just noticing the observation that I pick up on
@@dream6562the first story was disrespect on both side. Mother in law stated she won't respect the bride's wishes and made a speech. OP shouldn't have talked with her friends like and dealt with it in a different way by talking to MIL later. The husband should have communicated with his new wife well about his mom and told his mom STICTLY no speech. It's not that hard to respect your wives wishes which is the problem in a lot of husbands. Why do women have to bend and break their back for their husbands when the husbands can't do the same?
The second story definitely shows who manages the kids more. The husband should at least have supported his wife's decision and when they are alone, he could voice out his disagreements. The kids were being wild and disobedient and OP told him but he dismissed her. After they were being crazy, she gave him two choices, he made his and still blames her.
A lot of stories highlight how the husband doesn't respect the wife's boundaries and gets mad when she reinforces them. If I am getting married to a man, the least I expect him to do is take my side when my boundaries are being disrespected even when it comes to his family.
@@bookssolitude6519 ok then I present to you an alternate scenario, I'm getting married, I actually do want my family to give a speech but wife wants absolutely no speech
@@dream6562 that is something to talk with your wife. Why doesn't she want a speech? If she got problems with long speech, you can tell everyone to make their speech short. You and her are marrying on this day. That's not her day only. If having a civil discussion is not working out, go to couples' counseling.
Patience doesnt mean putting up with disrespect.
Nah story one is a dub 😂 the starting remark of "being forbidden" to make a speech 🙄 i wouldve walked out. She is not the asshole at all for continuing her conversation. The husband didnt stand up for his wife. This is not hard. She was rude and he was a crappy husband. If the MIL felt so personally attack she should've had a private conversation with the couple.
why have I not seen a single comment about how gabaghoul is not a fun made up word by Michael Scott but is in fact a kind of Italian meat LOL
Second Story: NTA as a parent I agree 100% If they are not going to listen then they need to feel the real consequences of their actions. The boys are old enough to know the difference. If you had let them stay they will think they can do whatever they want and nothing will happen to them.
I’m SCREAMING at the gabbagool😂😂😂 I automatically think of the sapranos!! Hellooooooo and I can’t be the only one 😂 gabagool is a bad way was saying capocollo which is a type of Italian meat 😂
I disagree with the wedding speech one. She set a boundary and the mom disrespected it. Plus you kept saying “do what you want during the speech” but she did do what she wanted? She kept her conversation going.
Also, it’s not her responsibility to start things off on the right foot when the family had no intention of doing the same.
Story 4: IMO he is the asshole. I get that he didn't INTEND to abandon his pregnant wife, but the fact is, he did! In that moment, selfish, tunnel-vision thinking took over for him. He was only thinking about getting himself off of that train. The fact that he has a pregnant wife who is probably moving a bit more slowly and having some difficulty carrying cumbersome luggage was NOWHERE in his mind at that moment. So, while he didn't maliciously ditch her, he IS the asshole for his shortsightedness and inconsideration for his wife.
ALEJANDRA I’ve missed youuuu ❤️❤️❤️great to have you back
The mom in the second story was absolutely in the right! If she didn't enforce consequences for their actions, they'd never learn.
I’m in BC, Canada. The nurses taught me how to swaddle and bathe my newborn. I had to ask specifically for help with breastfeeding because I found it difficult. They also have you bring your car seat into the hospital before you leave to show that you can correctly and safely bring them home. They did send us home with a book, “Babies Best Chance” and a DVD about “purple crying”. I was so sleep deprived by that point that I couldn’t do any reading so I highly recommend doing some before the baby comes 😂
First story: Unfortunately the bride looks worse than the mother in law, definitely something that should have been handle in private later. It’s one of those situations that even though the mother in law is in the wrong, the bride’s actions make her look petty and childish/almost worse than the mother in law who actually did do something wrong by going against a request of no speeches. Probably most guests outside wedding party/family wouldn’t have known how strict she felt about no speeches so she definitely started her marriage out on the wrong foot
dude the boys that kept fighting was literally how my brothers were. I was stuck being the mediator, and always getting second handedly punished for their behaviour. my little brother had problems regulating his anger, and my older brother stimmed by triggering the youngest. what a time
So disappointed in Morgan taking a sponsorship to promote a movie from a huge studio while the actors and writers strike is happening…