I quit social media 2 weeks ago, and only have 2 friends i text. I do wonder whether I'm isolating myself from other people and "fun", but mentally I feel so much better. My emotions have finally stabilised through this crisis, and I feel like leaving social media has helped so much with my mental health. There's a group chat i'm in, but I don't take part because I struggle to understand the other people and how they always seem to be laughing at things I don't find funny. I'm sure this makes me come across as cold, but I simply don't understand how people can feed off each others energy in such a shallow way. Does anyone else feel this way, because I really feel awful about it, but at the same time, I appreciate my independence and space
Yeah somehow I can connect with u on this aspect...I do feel like not engaging in conversations wherein I don't see a meaning or value, it's either I don't understand the motive behind that convo or just I find it cringeworthy...But in that process I also find myself being distant from my friends and often I question whether this is a true- meaningful friendship or not and if I keep on checking with every friendship I have I find myself having almost no Best friends but only good friends...Then I wud think is it normal to not have best friends, I donno...it's like u don't want to be normal but at the same time not so different that u feel like u don't belong anywhere...Anyways, it's really a struggle. I have quit social media for almost 3 to 4 months and u r right about the mental peace thing.
I quit social media for three years and then got back on and it has helped me connect with an old friend who is an ENFJ but most of social media makes me feel overwhelmed and depressed and less than somehow because I don't have the social energy for it and I'm struggling with depression and other chronic health issues. Social media is basically a big waste of time in a lot of ways. I spend my time taking care of myself and working when I can. I am glad I am not addicted to it anymore. It always made me feel weird. I just use it for support groups with new health issues I've been dealing with and to find out about things going on that I might want to go and do.
Being authentic is important, but I think infps can be a little hard to read which can come across as cold or disinterested in others. Most people in initial stages of getting to know you want to feel like you approve of them and we don’t always give much away, so it can be difficult for regular folk to get to know us. IMO Infps lacking friendships need to work on being more expressive outwardly of their approval of others - if it applies, that is if they want more friends in their lives.
As an INFP-A, I'd rather die being real than live being fake. Henceforth, I too treasure my solitude, whether or not I have friends, doesn't matter. The amount of genuine friends I have is six, I am blessed to have them, and them me. But even then, my treasuring of solitude will not ever go away, and none of that's bad. Remember my INFP brothers and sisters; peace, harmony, and balance both outside and in. Continue to evolve and spiral on. Also, HIPPIE GANG!! Screw society, stay weird, fuck the society and fake world. Be yourself no matter what, and follow your dreams,. Build upon your inner world and your outer world will follow suite. You are the cosmos experiencing itself. Never let that inner child go.~ P.S. Great and 110% on point video as always Lex. :]
Well that quote is something I firmly believe. I see no separation between a human and any other physical construct in the material universe. We are all, along with everything else, literally the Universe itself. I wonder to myself if maybe the universe as a whole is trying to figure out a way to survive it's inevitable end by collecting data about itself in an effort, through self understanding, to find a way to continue on perpetually. Life's very purpose is data collection and enhancement with preservation of said data as utmost priority. I feel non biological intelligence in the long term is going to be the means to solve some of the universe's big challenges. Biological intelligence is too fragile and limited for the scope of work required over many millennia. Apologies for going way way way OT. INFP syndrome lol It's deep thinking and questioning like this that also ensures that people who prefer to live shallow and superficial existences keep their distance from us.
I remember being 8-9 years old and for years on end having this very weird, yet vivid theory in my mind that the people around me were robots, because I felt as though others didn’t interact with the world or react to it the same way that I did. It sounds quite comical from a future standpoint but the sense of isolation and loneliness that I felt as a kid was so profound, I used to cry myself to sleep thinking that I was essentially living in a world of machines. I’m 21 now and do not have a single close friend. Plenty of acquaintances, but nobody who I can truly connect with. I relate on a painful level to what you said about feeling as though nobody really understands me. It sounds like such an edgy thing to say, but it’s true. I’m happiest when I am alone, but sometimes I think about night drives through the city with someone who I trust and who trusts me and I feel so lonely. I desperately want that connection with someone, but I guess my introversion saves me in that I at least love being by myself too, haha. Thank you for making this video!
'... but I guess my introversion saves me in that I atleast love being my myself too...', Golden words. I do relate to how hard it is sometimes. I am 26 now, and what I have learnt is, in those times, just to tell myself that I will always have me. I'll always be there for me. Just that thought has helped a lot :)
I can play extrovert but few people realize that i have had the same kinds of feelings that you describe, at least in part, that sense of BEING alien, all my life.
I used to have the exact same thoughts about no one else actually being real and just being robots or whatever when I was a kid lol, I love this comment
I find, that as an INFP I’ve learned to value my alone time and even with the few friends I have, I don’t talk with them often but the connection is still there. I think as I’ve grown I’ve learned how to live with myself and the very few people I like. The downside of that is again I feel like I can’t handle rejection so I avoid it, also I tend to judge others almost as way to find reasons why I don’t need them. I don’t know if that’s explained well
100% as an INFP I would rather be alone or have only one other authentic friend than be surrounded by people that make me feel alone. The most lonely feeling in the world to me is being surrounded by people that don't make me feel seen; people that make me feel alone in a crowded room. I hate the stigma of "oh you have no friends, you must be super weird or not cool". I have no friends because I'm MY version of cool and special and beautiful and fun. I'm just waiting for people with similar taste in those things. I connect greatly with my coworkers, it's been difficult not being around them during COVID. They're all in their late 20s-40s and they're so mature and their version of cool or fun or meaningful is much more aligned with mine than anyone from high school or anyone in college. So I may not be made for the college scene- rager parties and clubs and drinking- but I am made to make deep connections with people and make lifetime friendships; that's why I don't have friends at age 20. This video really connected with me, I love your channel Lex 💕
The last friend I had was about 3 years ago. After the friend talked about going to a several parties and that I was never even made aware of these parties until a few months afterwards. It may have been nice to have been asked if I wanted to go...but no. I realised that I was about 5th or 6th in line in their friendship heirarchy so I gave it up. The best friendship an INFP can have is with themselves
There is one person i really want to be friend with. But i feel like i was imposing too much and stopped messaging and didn't get a message back. Hurts soo much. Come on. We atleast deserve one true friend. ATLEAST ONE.
I relate to this so so much it hurts 😭I stopped messaging because I felt like I was annoying her and we haven't spoken in 5 months... and we do deserve a genuine friend!!
I recently stopped messaging a potential friend because I picked up that she didn’t accept me as a person... my quirks and “differentness”. It wasn’t going to grow into anything more so I cut it off. I hate fake friendships 🙅🏽♀️😖
Why is it, as an infp-t, even if people tell me they like me it feels like they're just being nice and don't mean it? Because they don't message first or want to hang out and eventually all leave.
Wow, I feel like I've just gained new INFP friend ;-) I agree with every single word you said. I've also struggled with "no real friends" situation since my early childhood. When I was a child I felt like I needed to pretend in order to not be left out, but still I was the weird, quiet one. The older I got the less I felt entitled to do that, which left me completely alone after I had finished school. It was sad and heartbreaking because I felt that no one really liked me for who I was, just looking for what I could give. It would be nice to find someone more similar to me one day. I've never met any other INFP in real life ;-(
So I am an INFP and I tend to be very selective in my friendships even though I attract many people. Most people are just not genuine and also don’t know how to truly connect. And yes, social media is a distorted version of reality and that is why I have taken all those apps off my phone. Those apps are soooo toxic. Organize lunches or coffee dates or a walk on the beach instead of assuming you have connected from a shallow text message.
Thank you for this. I've never really been able to make friends in real life. Even since I was in High School, I've been a bit of a loner. I have made friends online and still are in contact with them despite leaving social media since it's become such a toxic environment but it's true that I wished I could hang out with them in real life. This video really is incredibly relatable.
I can completely . Relate. To . Your . Experience! Oh man do I do. Thank you so much for commenting. I shouldn’t make more content Regarding this issue XX 💋
so i'm an INFP that's gone 33 years living in my shadow functions. only recently have looked into mbti and have still had my doubts weather or not it's real. but after discovering your channel and listening to how you describe all the emotions i feel daily has helped me embrace not only mbti but who i am as a person. shouts out to 4w5 out there. thank you so much lex
I'm not disappointed at all that I have only one really close true friend, and a couple of other friends that I see here and there- we all like our space and want time to recharge ourselves, reevaluate ourselves and what we want and need in life without distraction or opinions because we know what we have peace about. The world/people are so afraid to have quiet time to get to know themselves.
I have one adult friend who is my life partner and two child friends who are my babies, my family, my sister and my mom. No one is ever interested in getting to know me and build a friendship. I'm almost 40 and I feel like the more time goes by the more solitary I'm becoming.
And that's all we need, we only have a reserved amount of energy for others and it is best given to those closest to us, our spouses, children, parents and siblings (if they're not toxic and accept and appreciate us) and a friend or two if we're lucky. Our morals and values are so deeply engrained that not a lot of people are going to align with our high standards and that's absolutely ok.💖
Approaching 70; have lost & been lost most of my life. 2 long term friends died at 61 & 43... another newer close friend passed at 51... no resilience left. 🤷🏻♀️
I’ve always felt quite disconnected from others in some ways due to trauma I’ve experienced and this video really helped me feel a bit more hopeful and a little less alone in the world. Thank you for putting this out there.
It’s so refreshing to know that there are people who feel the same as I do. I have struggled with my friend connections most of my life. I’m 45 and still struggle. My dearest maybe only real friend I have is also an infp, she been my friend over 20 years but lives in the uk and I’m hear in Canada. She as well has had struggles in the same way when it comes to her friends. At least we have each other even though it’s a billions miles away. Thank you 🙏🏼 I’m feeling less alone after listening to your video!
I feel like it’s harder for us Canadians to make friends. When I travel to the US, I encounter so many friendly people that I don’t meet here. It’s a shame.
I'm someone that's an INFP with ADHD as well and this hit really close to home. I care about connecting with people and being genuine, it goes against every fibre of my being to try to be fake or put up a front to people (Retail jobs are a different story). It can be disappointing if not heartbreaking at times to see someone put all their effort to connect with someone and then get mild or indifferent results. But, at the very least, when we have a friend, they're friends for life, that I know for sure (Still friends with someone I met in preschool)
INFP here, my wife is the polar opposite of me, and she gets me to do things i'd NEVER do if i wasn't with her... but this is good for me as it gets me out of my shell... She is Extreme extrovert/ social butterfly from Russia and I'm an Extreme introvert from America... I think the culture difference helps this dynamic. I don't have friends BUT!! because of my wife I have many friends.
As an "INFJ" i have no friends... Even my kids don't know me. But my girlfriend, an ISFJ has many "friends" she helps every day. Now the funny thing is , the people she helps, realize that i also help them, but behind the screen. So i get a lot of "thank you's" from them, through my girlfriend.. Gives me a good feeling.
@@syahrulshiddiq9733 No, she is an ISFJ. Somehow she understands what i mean.. Her friends ask her, how can you live with such a man, with strange ideas??? And she tells them , most of his ideas come true. (doesn't really help me.) I follow Krishnamurti right now. He talked more ore less like me. And that is not the way to make friends..
@@syahrulshiddiq9733 She is an ESFJ. and her extroversion goes off the charts sometimes, lol. I get dragged to parties, ect. ect. and feel drained after it, but if it wasn't for her, the only place i would probably ever go to would be the library.
Noticing people's energy is bizzare sometimes because most of the time you aren't aware of it, then someone who might be struggling at the time walks in and the tension is kind of intense.
I've found that after college I have not really made any long-term friends that I have an affinity with. Instead I've experienced the slow attrition of losing touch with various friends from college while keeping a solid core of 3 to 4 friends. It gets tougher as you get old because the pool of potential friends seems to grow smaller and smaller and then if you compound that with the things I enjoy talking about and that makes it even smaller. I'm an INFP as well and it's always those rare conversations with one person at a random party or the random person I may connect with while running errands that I look forward to now, and it's really difficult and disheartening to realize how hard it is to find people with whom I have something in common with. But when you find those people, it's like a breath of fresh air when you're dying of asphyxiation.
Love the light you shed on the strengths and difficulties of iNFP's. It's true- those with this personality type are not alone. Many others can relate to their experiences. As a Christian INFP, God's Holy Spirit came to live inside of me after accepting Jesus, God's Son, as my personal Savior and Lord. After asking Jesus to forgive my sins and be my Lord and savior, a supernatural peace came inside of me. I knew He was real. His Spirit whispered to me He would never leave me or forsake me. Later, I found out this was also a Bible verse (in Hebrews 13:5). The Holy Spirit has been a comfort to my heart since then. I never feel alone anymore. And the best part is knowing that my sins are all forgiven and I'm on my way to Heaven. I would suggest every person reading this to give Jesus a try. Ask Him to come into your life. The Bible says: "Whoever calls on the name of the Lord (Jesus) shall be saved." (Romans 10:13). The Holy Spirit will then come into your life. And He will connect you to the most important Being in the Universe that you could ever have a relationship with. He's the one who knows us the best, and that is the God who created us.
I was just crying and feeling like no one would ever appreciate me/like there was something wrong with me, basically feeling very very bad about myself, and this helped me to realize that maybe I'm not so alone, so thanks! Ps, where do you go to make online friends?
I never knew that I wasn't the only one like this. People think I have lots of friends which is ironic because actually I only have maybe 3 that I truly consider friends. And even from those 3 I don't feel comfortable reaching out to them as much. It's a struggle to open up and a constant fight wondering if it's ok to talk to them often or if I'd be bothering them. It's very lonely. I struggle between longing to reach out and being afraid to.
"Sometimes I feel like I'm not even part of humanity, disconnected." Nailed it. I've always felt slightly out of place as a weirdo for being more sensitive and empathic. I never understood why others were so "selfish". Thanks.
I just entered in highschool,this is my first year and I find really hard to talk or connect with my classmates.This new environment with new people really makes me struggle a lot.I have a few true friends and I really value them very much,altought it's hard to fit in right now,I know that I have my old gang in the back to help me and I know I'm not totally alone.I try very hard to make some new friends in my new class but I can't.I am always that girl who is far from the others and I don't want to be like that.But,in the end,everything will be fine,I know it.If you read this long message,I hope you are fine and "be happy!"
I totally get how you feel, and especially with such a new school environment, it's hard to connect with new people. But you have a great attitude and awareness! And I've found that when you are accepting yourself and all the wonderfully unique qualities you have, people recognize that confidence. It does take time tho! At least for me. Just always be kind to yourself. And even though it's hard, I've found that telling new people little things about myself that I really care about (I love cats!) really helps to start finding meaningful connections. Sorry for the long rant, best of luck! A fellow INFP. 😸
Hi Lex. Thank you for all the inspirational videos. I can strongly relate to this one as a week ago I was at one of my best friends 21st birthday party and because I know her extremely well, I thought I would fit in, but I just did not! I do photography as a second job, so after covering the event, I tried to start to mingle. After a while it was so clear to me that I did not fit in that I went outside and wondered if I was an alien - because it truly felt like it. Exactly, like you explained I could read everybody's emotions and see my friends happiness, I just could not relate. Given that this is only one of three close friends I have, I was truly shocked that I could not relate to any of her other friends. That was truly a big shock to me and exactly like you explained in your video. Thanks for all that you RE doing for us, INFPs, and blessings from a very warm South Africa.
Highschool was a b-tch for me. Now I understand why. It was a gift to find which personality type I was. It was like looking into a mirror, and for the first time, seeing myself for who I’ve always been.
Yes, go for it all girl. Your analysis of the rammifications of our new virtual created are cutting edge, and people will have to realise this soon, the hard way. But our insights will pave the way for new paradigms of interaction. x
The thing that baffles me the most is that when people are gathering somewhere, instead of talking to each other they are silent and texting(!!!) one another instead! I mean, if I go someplace it's not to do things online but to actually _talk_ to them or do other stuff.
I feel I've been blessed in the friendship department. I have three people I trust fully, and they are pretty much all over the MBTI scale. ESTJ, ENTP and ISFJ respectively. They're able to deal with my avoidant nature, take contact when I've been gone for long, take the time to invite me to events they know I feel fitting for me and most importantly for me... I serve a distinct role in their lives. They all have expressed that my presence is pretty much a beacon of calm in their otherwise stressing everyday, and they confide in me with their issues. One is a teenhood friend, and the two others I've met through online forums. It's really been a great relief, knowing I have some people I can be about as authentic as I dare to be with.
I am an INFP too have friends, but I feel alone even then. I feel they don't get me or the situation that I am in completly. I have always love your channel very much and have a lot common. I am very thanful you post these videos and especially about INFP's. You are a awsome INFP! I love learning from you.
I like you. Authenticity is often hard to find in what usually amounts to superficial friendships. I could say more, here, but you’ve kinda covered it. Thanks for sharing.
I love this video, Lex. I'm an INFP with ADHD also, and it is really comforting to know that there are others who experience this. I'm dealing with this right now, myself in a very big way. I'm trying to get my own channel going but I've been struggling to find any friends who can understand my passions or encourage me on this process. Do you find that putting your videos out there helps you feel like you're engaging with the outside world in a meaningful way?
I am 67 years old and you have described me to a T. I am a loving caring sensitive person. I knew I was different as a child. I have never felt like I fit in. Not even in my family. I have 4 children. They cannot relate to me. People in my life have labeled me as "over emotional". They just don't get it!!
I totally agree. I'm picky about the people I befriend even on social media but the friends I make are lifelong friends. Most of them are extroverts, though.
I used to have friends as a kid, but then somewhere at the end of middle school, those friends that cherished me so much (and who i cherished too) suddenly gave me their back so hard that after more than 14 years I still feel pain remembering them, I even have frequent dreams where I try to speak to them and they appear cartoonish and not responding. I never understood what happened and I don't think is worth to ask them. One of them told me very angry that I was very egocentric and i just couldn't understand whyy she told me that?! It's so painful I'm crying
I can't even go on social media without becoming emotional and critical of my own life. I have no one, aside from my beautiful kiddos, which I'm so blessed with! I can't even imagine another person, actually understanding me. Maybe someday.
I think social media can be a double edge sword. On the one hand it's great to be able to connect with all these people but then it's not really a replacement for actual human interaction since you aren't able to feel another's presence to build as much trust with them without being able to be in their energy and read facial expressions. I would say the main advantage though is that it gives you more of a chance to think about what your going to say as you can write it out before saying, then go back and correct any mistakes before posting whereas in another's presence IRL, not so much when all the long pauses to stop and think to avoid saying the wrong thing can make the conversations more awkward especially for the socially anxious introvert. At times, i find myself afraid of that happening so i avoid social interaction if i feel i might be judged. And with that, I've created what i hope you or anyone else interested will find to be a safe space to converse, ask questions and learn more about the economic innovation, Copiosis at: facebook.com/groups/345682736680052/?ref=share
Really. Watch your circle if you “do better “ then them… real friends (which is a rare thing) will encourage from a sincere place. Others will judge you and attack your confidence… especially with covert tactics that sound great to your ears perhaps but have actually a dark twist to it. A projection of their own insecurities…
Social media is a nightmare! Hahahaha But in all seriousness, I do have connections but not many. But like you say, it that authentic person is who i am consistently looking for. I don't like to waste my time. But, i'm fine alone. I love myself and being by myself to an extent. I get lonely but i can always find something to do.
i love that this is the only video on youtube i’ve seen without a dislike...that’s how you KNOW these vibes are genuinely good. How validating and reassuring! 😌
I get super disconnected and don’t feel like dealing. Being on Facebook for 5 minutes Is the worst. But old friends I have thin threads with now because I'm too tired to deal with much.
As an infp and as a man, why do I feel things sooo deeply ?! I feel the pain or sadness or grief or even happiness and gleefully in others. To an extreme. And it effects me. I need some type of coping mechanism to alert myself when it's getting out of control. I'm to sensitive and I need to reel it in a bit. To the point of exhaustion. Dear God am I Losing it? Or what? I think I'm boarder line empathetic. I can so relate with diana on Star Trek . But to have close friends ??? Why is so hard for me? There are some personalities I don't get along with at all. And others I do just fine.
I really relate to this. You do an amazing job putting all of these thoughts into a coherent narrative. It’s funny how INFPs have a push and pull in relationships. We have a “get away from me you shallow idiot!’ but also a “get so deep in me you drown!” kind of thing going on at the same time. I can see why we can feel a bit intense to be around at times, but I also think that’s part of our charm. Speaking of drowning - your eyes - wow - I could happily drown in those gorgeous pools!
I can totally relate on you saying that it is hard for us to only being able to connect with our friends via social media. I had a very close friend but then she moved to a diffrent country and now she feels so distant from my heart, because I know that we cannot meet up sponatneousely anymore, that I don't want to call her or have contact to her anymore. This whole long distance thing doesn't work for me, I tired it, but she's out of my life and therefore out of my heart. When I have a deep connection with someone I really need a lot of real time. But I feel as if nobody understands this need of mine... Why are we living in such a shallow world?
This video might have some years but even so it stil resonates with so many including me. I am an INFP and I was recently diagnosed with ADD and Autism. People always found me weird so I never truly had friends and the few I had was when I initiated them but later came to find those people discarded me the moment they didn't need me. So I always navigated life by myself and not to feel lonely my brain had a way to create an alternative world where I could have those things I always wanted but was denied. You could say I have my own "lord of the rings" universe within myself where I self discover plus I can have the company of my own creations. So I have been able to survive just fine without people around me but it does get lonely. Sometimes I wish I just had 1 friend you know? So I would know what is like but no matter how many hobbies I join in as an adult, people don't approach me and when I approach them they just don't show interest. What was like in school hasn't changed for what is like in adulthood and I think that might be me being autistic as people always found me "weird" and not care to know me better. I have just accepted it and keep moving on but I would sure love to someday find my own people if there is such a thing. Lovely video❤
I AGREE im a super empath hsp high rafar psychic feelings highly intuative friendless being, high radar!!!i no them before they evem start to try and figure me out,im a loner. so so hard to make friends but im resiliant so i get over it, it WOULD be nice though. JENNIFER UK
Thank you for your video. I have found similarities from everything. I was diagnosed at 52 years old 2020 with ADHD. I have worked in social care with vulnerable adults and children for 35 years. After learning about my ADHD, I found the ability to establish instant rapport, was seeking dopamine. My job role and children provide this. Like a bee to flower seeking nectar. I do not drink alcohol or use illicit drugs. I will use your information to add to a talk on ADHD I am doing at work very soon. Thank you. 🇬🇧🙂
Hahaha when you said '... social media on our fingertips' i knew you were gonna say 'Oh the irony' next 😂 Actually we said it together 🤣 Thank you for you 😄
Yep yep and yep and im ya friend even if you dont know me. You encourage share and help people and thats the kind of person id value or have as a friend. Keep doing you :)
I looked this topic up today because I'm in grief over not having friends and having to socialize with people who I can't relate to spiritually or mentally/emotionally. Same for the classes I take, or the other things I am around people. I'm getting irritated by a lot of people. I probably annoy others too. Not just INFP but also an awakening soul who is moving far away from the programming and agendas for enslavement of humanity. Very few people get this. I find some solace through CODA meetings and prayer to connect with myself
I'm an INFP-T with bipolar depression and ADD. I have friends but they all Iive far away. I keep up with them on the phone but I really want friends where I live. I finally joined a book group and we are reading Quiet ( a book about intorverts.) I think I found somewhere I can maybe make some nice friends. I can't stand social media. I got off of it for three years and got back on to connect more - and it helped, but I barely get on it. It makes me feel weird. I was able to reconnect with old friends there offline, which was nice, but that's about it. I need social presence more than anything in my life.
I am an ENFP and also HSP. Its not much better for me just so you know. In my case I get told I can be overwhelming and have a lot of momentum, apparently it scares people off yet for me that is when I am at my best and feel most connected with life. Its disheartening.
I have never been diagnosed with ADHD. Only now at 42 do I feel like I have always had it. I feel so alone as I realise iv never had any friends and I never will. I have a long term relationship and that seems to be good. I’m very affectionate in my relationship. But with regard to friends I never let people get close and I feel disconnected from the world. It’s like people make friends but I don’t understand how they do it. They get on with each other like it’s easy. I’m mostly quiet at work. But i also don’t want to get close to anyone or try for fear of rejection. Over the last few years I have noticed things. I tend to analyse people and what people do. How businesses rip others off. I always see the negative side to everything and I hate it. Businesses making money by cheating others. People driving recklessly for hardly any gain. I often want to cause conflict by confronting these people. I hate noticing these things cos other don’t. Or maybe they just get on and don’t let it bother them. what’s wrong with me. I even go through scenarios in my head after conflict as if it’s happening. Like living another life. I talk to myself as I do this. Because of this I always see the downside to things. I hate myself for not being normal. Do others do this?
difficult to connect with people. i have some friends and i feel like none of them reached the close friend level. im glad i was able to meet and still have my bf that is really genuine and loving. but with friends, it has always been difficult for me because i feel like they can't be deep people. hard to find friends who have the same interests and thinking similar to me...i am an infj and hsp
A story I'd like to share, An INFP story: I was waiting to be picked up after taking a GED test. I was just standing outside in front of a building. I notice this boy walking buy. I didn't even see his face yet I was still nervous. I feel an urge to look to my right. I thought he was standing there. I told myself ”no he isn't it's there. It's just your anxiety making you think that. Just look and you won't see anyone there.” So I look. He was there. Standing there, 20ish feet away. Then I tried to convince myself he was waiting for someone and him standing there had no connection to me. But my brain tells me he wants to talk to me, but because the idea of a guy coming up to talk to me just made me too nervous. I was just in the bathroom disappointed over the way a looked. I need to mention something, I had my hood up, ok. Then out of nowhere I hear, Hey!, it shocked me Im sure it wasn't his first time saying hey because 1) he said it kind of ”loud” like he was trying to get my attention 2) I was so in my own world that I didn't realize he, who had been 20ish feet away from me, was then next to me. I was shocked. Yet really admired the courage he had because I couldn't do what he had done. . Nervous yet executing the task. He quickly said, ”Youre really cute. Want one [ a chocolate wafer cookie]? I, still in shock said, ”Ya.” Took one, the cookie. Nibbled on it. Neither of us said a word after that. Yikes. Next day: my friend asked me ”wtf what if it spiked/roofied? ”The wrapper was opened. What do they teach us in elementary school around Halloween, ”do not take unwrapped candy from a stranger.” :D That's all.
I once had a coworker send me a message about two years after we stopped working together. He expressed that when we met he was going through a hard time (he never mentioned this). I saw him as introverted and knew he just needed a push to "come out his shell". He eventually could speak to all of us at once, and was always making us laugh. Anyways, he stated that I was the person who helped him through his rough patch and made him realize he was capable of accomplishing his dreams. He went on to join the marines, become a martial artist, etc. In conclusion, INFP, you never know just who's actually watching and learning from your silly hopeful self. ☺️
Beautiful , sweet , smart girl . I am INFP . I am lucky in that I have always managed to find pals . But , I have also spent much time alone. That's okay . If I am not feeling a true connection I won't bother to go there . Just can't. I simply cannot!! Yesssssss... your tribe . They are out there . Probably in England..dare I say ? Yes , it's easy to join online groups , but you feel you have to conform to their online lingo ..if you will . It's shallow ! FOMO .Oh NO ! Sod it . The dopamine released must be in tiny amounts. Some of watching have said is not true honey. Calm down .
Thank You for helping me lifting this confusion in my head. I'm feeling a little overwhelmed due to personal lives, works and family. Mostly about works. This Covid19 trully pushed me to the extent I cant do it All but I have to and I Must 😣 constantly battle with my self and time. Thanks..🙏🏻😘
Its not that i don't have any friends its just i don't have any real or genuine friends. I m not willing to share my secret. I never being open to 'em i don't know why. I just want to make friends, i want to love and be loved.
I’ll say i only have one person i actually consider my friend, it can go weeks between each time we hangout or talk but he’s always there for me when i need a friend, and im always there for him. Many other people i used to consider my friends i’ve come to realize didn’t actually care enough to have me around, and most of the time i felt forgotten by them. But despite this i’ve never been a person to have a desire to have many friends , i used to for a long time, but at a time i had many friends was actually the time i felt the loneliest.
Thanks for your video! I recognize myself in most things you say in the videos that I have watched so far. I am also a HSP and have ADD (undiagnosed ADD,but since all my siblings have ADHD diagnosis I am sure I have ADD, though not ADHD). Some of the things you described sounds like how female autistics are. Have you comsidered that you might be autistic? Autism in females is quite different from autism in males. I sometimes have wondered that about myself too but since I according to many people am good at reading between the lines and good at reading people's facial expressions and irony, I don't think I am autistic. How about yourself when it comes to reading people and understanding irony etc? 🌷💖
Thank you! Ive been trying to get people to understand me all my life and this video is so me and putts my personality in a good prospective. Now i dont feel so alone. 😊
Hello twin . I’m an infp Aries Taurus cusp with a Virgo moon sign and Capricorn rising . I am sigma male . I can’t be controlled nor do I want to control anyone. The only thing I demand is respect . Being me destroys every relationship I’m in . Everyone ends up hating me in the long run . I have adhd also 🤣 .
I also have the same values as you do. I'd rather be alone than be with inauthentic people . I'm glad I found your channel😃
Inauthentic OR cold people that lack empathy
Not feeling like being part of humanity - Yeah, that summarizes me really well 😄
I quit social media 2 weeks ago, and only have 2 friends i text. I do wonder whether I'm isolating myself from other people and "fun", but mentally I feel so much better. My emotions have finally stabilised through this crisis, and I feel like leaving social media has helped so much with my mental health. There's a group chat i'm in, but I don't take part because I struggle to understand the other people and how they always seem to be laughing at things I don't find funny. I'm sure this makes me come across as cold, but I simply don't understand how people can feed off each others energy in such a shallow way. Does anyone else feel this way, because I really feel awful about it, but at the same time, I appreciate my independence and space
Yeah somehow I can connect with u on this aspect...I do feel like not engaging in conversations wherein I don't see a meaning or value, it's either I don't understand the motive behind that convo or just I find it cringeworthy...But in that process I also find myself being distant from my friends and often I question whether this is a true- meaningful friendship or not and if I keep on checking with every friendship I have I find myself having almost no Best friends but only good friends...Then I wud think is it normal to not have best friends, I donno...it's like u don't want to be normal but at the same time not so different that u feel like u don't belong anywhere...Anyways, it's really a struggle. I have quit social media for almost 3 to 4 months and u r right about the mental peace thing.
I've felt this way since kindergarten.
I quit social media for three years and then got back on and it has helped me connect with an old friend who is an ENFJ but most of social media makes me feel overwhelmed and depressed and less than somehow because I don't have the social energy for it and I'm struggling with depression and other chronic health issues. Social media is basically a big waste of time in a lot of ways. I spend my time taking care of myself and working when I can. I am glad I am not addicted to it anymore. It always made me feel weird. I just use it for support groups with new health issues I've been dealing with and to find out about things going on that I might want to go and do.
Being authentic is important, but I think infps can be a little hard to read which can come across as cold or disinterested in others. Most people in initial stages of getting to know you want to feel like you approve of them and we don’t always give much away, so it can be difficult for regular folk to get to know us. IMO Infps lacking friendships need to work on being more expressive outwardly of their approval of others - if it applies, that is if they want more friends in their lives.
As an INFP-A, I'd rather die being real than live being fake. Henceforth, I too treasure my solitude, whether or not I have friends, doesn't matter. The amount of genuine friends I have is six, I am blessed to have them, and them me. But even then, my treasuring of solitude will not ever go away, and none of that's bad. Remember my INFP brothers and sisters; peace, harmony, and balance both outside and in. Continue to evolve and spiral on. Also, HIPPIE GANG!! Screw society, stay weird, fuck the society and fake world. Be yourself no matter what, and follow your dreams,. Build upon your inner world and your outer world will follow suite. You are the cosmos experiencing itself. Never let that inner child go.~
P.S. Great and 110% on point video as always Lex. :]
This made me 😊
Cool Quote "You are the cosmos experiencing itself" ((:
@@NeoNine10 Good to hear, keep going friend.
@@MrIgorl01 I wasn't the first to say it, but thank you, always good to share quotes with my fellow brothers and sisters of the multiverse.
Well that quote is something I firmly believe. I see no separation between a human and any other physical construct in the material universe. We are all, along with everything else, literally the Universe itself. I wonder to myself if maybe the universe as a whole is trying to figure out a way to survive it's inevitable end by collecting data about itself in an effort, through self understanding, to find a way to continue on perpetually. Life's very purpose is data collection and enhancement with preservation of said data as utmost priority.
I feel non biological intelligence in the long term is going to be the means to solve some of the universe's big challenges.
Biological intelligence is too fragile and limited for the scope of work required over many millennia.
Apologies for going way way way OT. INFP syndrome lol
It's deep thinking and questioning like this that also ensures that people who prefer to live shallow and superficial existences keep their distance from us.
I remember being 8-9 years old and for years on end having this very weird, yet vivid theory in my mind that the people around me were robots, because I felt as though others didn’t interact with the world or react to it the same way that I did. It sounds quite comical from a future standpoint but the sense of isolation and loneliness that I felt as a kid was so profound, I used to cry myself to sleep thinking that I was essentially living in a world of machines.
I’m 21 now and do not have a single close friend. Plenty of acquaintances, but nobody who I can truly connect with. I relate on a painful level to what you said about feeling as though nobody really understands me. It sounds like such an edgy thing to say, but it’s true.
I’m happiest when I am alone, but sometimes I think about night drives through the city with someone who I trust and who trusts me and I feel so lonely. I desperately want that connection with someone, but I guess my introversion saves me in that I at least love being by myself too, haha.
Thank you for making this video!
'... but I guess my introversion saves me in that I atleast love being my myself too...', Golden words.
I do relate to how hard it is sometimes. I am 26 now, and what I have learnt is, in those times, just to tell myself that I will always have me. I'll always be there for me. Just that thought has helped a lot :)
I can play extrovert but few people realize that i have had the same kinds of feelings that you describe, at least in part, that sense of BEING alien, all my life.
wow, you explained it so well, I relate so much with your experience, I never thought I'd see someone like me
I used to have the exact same thoughts about no one else actually being real and just being robots or whatever when I was a kid lol, I love this comment
Exact story is mine ,you r not alone 🥺❤️
I find, that as an INFP I’ve learned to value my alone time and even with the few friends I have, I don’t talk with them often but the connection is still there. I think as I’ve grown I’ve learned how to live with myself and the very few people I like. The downside of that is again I feel like I can’t handle rejection so I avoid it, also I tend to judge others almost as way to find reasons why I don’t need them. I don’t know if that’s explained well
This 100%
I'd rather be alone. No more narcissists for me
100% as an INFP I would rather be alone or have only one other authentic friend than be surrounded by people that make me feel alone. The most lonely feeling in the world to me is being surrounded by people that don't make me feel seen; people that make me feel alone in a crowded room. I hate the stigma of "oh you have no friends, you must be super weird or not cool". I have no friends because I'm MY version of cool and special and beautiful and fun. I'm just waiting for people with similar taste in those things. I connect greatly with my coworkers, it's been difficult not being around them during COVID. They're all in their late 20s-40s and they're so mature and their version of cool or fun or meaningful is much more aligned with mine than anyone from high school or anyone in college. So I may not be made for the college scene- rager parties and clubs and drinking- but I am made to make deep connections with people and make lifetime friendships; that's why I don't have friends at age 20.
This video really connected with me, I love your channel Lex 💕
What a great pep talk. I am a believer in embracing your strangeness. We are good for the world and we are only weird because there are so few of us.
The last friend I had was about 3 years ago. After the friend talked about going to a several parties and that I was never even made aware of these parties until a few months afterwards. It may have been nice to have been asked if I wanted to go...but no. I realised that I was about 5th or 6th in line in their friendship heirarchy so I gave it up.
The best friendship an INFP can have is with themselves
Story of my life.
There is one person i really want to be friend with. But i feel like i was imposing too much and stopped messaging and didn't get a message back. Hurts soo much.
Come on. We atleast deserve one true friend. ATLEAST ONE.
I relate to this so so much it hurts 😭I stopped messaging because I felt like I was annoying her and we haven't spoken in 5 months... and we do deserve a genuine friend!!
I recently stopped messaging a potential friend because I picked up that she didn’t accept me as a person... my quirks and “differentness”. It wasn’t going to grow into anything more so I cut it off. I hate fake friendships 🙅🏽♀️😖
Well love is common. Friendship is rare. Because in a true friendship there is nothing in it gor anyone.
I can totally relate to this. But even more... I one hundred percent agree!!
Ye Olde ghosting routine. Hurts a lot
I'm an INFP enneagram 4w5 HSP and I have no friends. Kinda. I have 2 friends but I haven't talked to them in over a year.
Why is it, as an infp-t, even if people tell me they like me it feels like they're just being nice and don't mean it? Because they don't message first or want to hang out and eventually all leave.
Wow, I feel like I've just gained new INFP friend ;-) I agree with every single word you said. I've also struggled with "no real friends" situation since my early childhood. When I was a child I felt like I needed to pretend in order to not be left out, but still I was the weird, quiet one. The older I got the less I felt entitled to do that, which left me completely alone after I had finished school. It was sad and heartbreaking because I felt that no one really liked me for who I was, just looking for what I could give. It would be nice to find someone more similar to me one day. I've never met any other INFP in real life ;-(
That's exactly the same thing I told someone once irl-
So I am an INFP and I tend to be very selective in my friendships even though I attract many people. Most people are just not genuine and also don’t know how to truly connect. And yes, social media is a distorted version of reality and that is why I have taken all those apps off my phone. Those apps are soooo toxic. Organize lunches or coffee dates or a walk on the beach instead of assuming you have connected from a shallow text message.
I have morals and values, People don't like me because I do. I'm not available for them to use me
I have never had a friend that understands me. We are truly a unique group.
Thank you for this. I've never really been able to make friends in real life. Even since I was in High School, I've been a bit of a loner. I have made friends online and still are in contact with them despite leaving social media since it's become such a toxic environment but it's true that I wished I could hang out with them in real life. This video really is incredibly relatable.
I can completely . Relate. To . Your . Experience!
Oh man do I do. Thank you so much for commenting. I shouldn’t make more content Regarding this issue XX 💋
@@Lexmorningstarnz that would be awesome, thank you for allowing people like myself the space to relate to and acknowledge common struggles.
so i'm an INFP that's gone 33 years living in my shadow functions. only recently have looked into mbti and have still had my doubts weather or not it's real. but after discovering your channel and listening to how you describe all the emotions i feel daily has helped me embrace not only mbti but who i am as a person. shouts out to 4w5 out there. thank you so much lex
I'm not disappointed at all that I have only one really close true friend, and a couple of other friends that I see here and there- we all like our space and want time to recharge ourselves, reevaluate ourselves and what we want and need in life without distraction or opinions because we know what we have peace about. The world/people are so afraid to have quiet time to get to know themselves.
I have one adult friend who is my life partner and two child friends who are my babies, my family, my sister and my mom. No one is ever interested in getting to know me and build a friendship. I'm almost 40 and I feel like the more time goes by the more solitary I'm becoming.
I can totally relate! I’m sorry you’re struggling with this. I hope soon that people see your amazing qualities
And that's all we need, we only have a reserved amount of energy for others and it is best given to those closest to us, our spouses, children, parents and siblings (if they're not toxic and accept and appreciate us) and a friend or two if we're lucky. Our morals and values are so deeply engrained that not a lot of people are going to align with our high standards and that's absolutely ok.💖
Same. I’m 39 and I have my husband, my father, father in law, and 2 children. They are my world.
yes, early thirties and i’m there right now
Approaching 70; have lost & been lost most of my life. 2 long term friends died at 61 & 43... another newer close friend passed at 51... no resilience left. 🤷🏻♀️
I’ve always felt quite disconnected from others in some ways due to trauma I’ve experienced and this video really helped me feel a bit more hopeful and a little less alone in the world. Thank you for putting this out there.
It’s so refreshing to know that there are people who feel the same as I do. I have struggled with my friend connections most of my life. I’m 45 and still struggle. My dearest maybe only real friend I have is also an infp, she been my friend over 20 years but lives in the uk and I’m hear in Canada. She as well has had struggles in the same way when it comes to her friends.
At least we have each other even though it’s a billions miles away.
Thank you 🙏🏼 I’m feeling less alone after listening to your video!
I feel like it’s harder for us Canadians to make friends. When I travel to the US, I encounter so many friendly people that I don’t meet here. It’s a shame.
I'm someone that's an INFP with ADHD as well and this hit really close to home. I care about connecting with people and being genuine, it goes against every fibre of my being to try to be fake or put up a front to people (Retail jobs are a different story). It can be disappointing if not heartbreaking at times to see someone put all their effort to connect with someone and then get mild or indifferent results. But, at the very least, when we have a friend, they're friends for life, that I know for sure (Still friends with someone I met in preschool)
INFP here, my wife is the polar opposite of me, and she gets me to do things i'd NEVER do if i wasn't with her... but this is good for me as it gets me out of my shell... She is Extreme extrovert/ social butterfly from Russia and I'm an Extreme introvert from America... I think the culture difference helps this dynamic. I don't have friends BUT!! because of my wife I have many friends.
As an "INFJ" i have no friends... Even my kids don't know me. But my girlfriend, an ISFJ has many "friends" she helps every day. Now the funny thing is , the people she helps, realize that i also help them, but behind the screen. So i get a lot of "thank you's" from them, through my girlfriend.. Gives me a good feeling.
Whats the type of your wife? I am guessing she is an ESTP?
@@syahrulshiddiq9733 No, she is an ISFJ. Somehow she understands what i mean.. Her friends ask her, how can you live with such a man, with strange ideas??? And she tells them , most of his ideas come true. (doesn't really help me.) I follow Krishnamurti right now. He talked more ore less like me. And that is not the way to make friends..
@@syahrulshiddiq9733 She is an ESFJ. and her extroversion goes off the charts sometimes, lol. I get dragged to parties, ect. ect. and feel drained after it, but if it wasn't for her, the only place i would probably ever go to would be the library.
Noticing people's energy is bizzare sometimes because most of the time you aren't aware of it, then someone who might be struggling at the time walks in and the tension is kind of intense.
I've found that after college I have not really made any long-term friends that I have an affinity with. Instead I've experienced the slow attrition of losing touch with various friends from college while keeping a solid core of 3 to 4 friends. It gets tougher as you get old because the pool of potential friends seems to grow smaller and smaller and then if you compound that with the things I enjoy talking about and that makes it even smaller.
I'm an INFP as well and it's always those rare conversations with one person at a random party or the random person I may connect with while running errands that I look forward to now, and it's really difficult and disheartening to realize how hard it is to find people with whom I have something in common with. But when you find those people, it's like a breath of fresh air when you're dying of asphyxiation.
This video provided a very profound opportunity to further parse my own identity. Thank you for sharing this.
Love the light you shed on the strengths and difficulties of iNFP's. It's true- those with this personality type are not alone. Many others can relate to their experiences. As a Christian INFP, God's Holy Spirit came to live inside of me after accepting Jesus, God's Son, as my personal Savior and Lord. After asking Jesus to forgive my sins and be my Lord and savior, a supernatural peace came inside of me. I knew He was real. His Spirit whispered to me He would never leave me or forsake me. Later, I found out this was also a Bible verse (in Hebrews 13:5). The Holy Spirit has been a comfort to my heart since then. I never feel alone anymore. And the best part is knowing that my sins are all forgiven and I'm on my way to Heaven. I would suggest every person reading this to give Jesus a try. Ask Him to come into your life. The Bible says: "Whoever calls on the name of the Lord (Jesus) shall be saved." (Romans 10:13). The Holy Spirit will then come into your life. And He will connect you to the most important Being in the Universe that you could ever have a relationship with. He's the one who knows us the best, and that is the God who created us.
So well said. Comforting to know that others are dealing with the same issue. Thanks!
Lex you are so authentic and empathetic It's like hearning my own mirror talking (: Great job and wonderful video darling!
This was so empowering and beautiful 🤗💖
Cheers!! 💋 thank you for the feedback
I was just crying and feeling like no one would ever appreciate me/like there was something wrong with me, basically feeling very very bad about myself, and this helped me to realize that maybe I'm not so alone, so thanks! Ps, where do you go to make online friends?
Friend are too much responsibility
Lol yep, so true, cuz we wouldn't want to let them down ever!
I never knew that I wasn't the only one like this. People think I have lots of friends which is ironic because actually I only have maybe 3 that I truly consider friends. And even from those 3 I don't feel comfortable reaching out to them as much. It's a struggle to open up and a constant fight wondering if it's ok to talk to them often or if I'd be bothering them. It's very lonely. I struggle between longing to reach out and being afraid to.
"Sometimes I feel like I'm not even part of humanity, disconnected." Nailed it. I've always felt slightly out of place as a weirdo for being more sensitive and empathic. I never understood why others were so "selfish". Thanks.
I just entered in highschool,this is my first year and I find really hard to talk or connect with my classmates.This new environment with new people really makes me struggle a lot.I have a few true friends and I really value them very much,altought it's hard to fit in right now,I know that I have my old gang in the back to help me and I know I'm not totally alone.I try very hard to make some new friends in my new class but I can't.I am always that girl who is far from the others and I don't want to be like that.But,in the end,everything will be fine,I know it.If you read this long message,I hope you are fine and "be happy!"
I totally get how you feel, and especially with such a new school environment, it's hard to connect with new people. But you have a great attitude and awareness! And I've found that when you are accepting yourself and all the wonderfully unique qualities you have, people recognize that confidence. It does take time tho! At least for me. Just always be kind to yourself. And even though it's hard, I've found that telling new people little things about myself that I really care about (I love cats!) really helps to start finding meaningful connections. Sorry for the long rant, best of luck! A fellow INFP. 😸
Hi Lex. Thank you for all the inspirational videos. I can strongly relate to this one as a week ago I was at one of my best friends 21st birthday party and because I know her extremely well, I thought I would fit in, but I just did not! I do photography as a second job, so after covering the event, I tried to start to mingle. After a while it was so clear to me that I did not fit in that I went outside and wondered if I was an alien - because it truly felt like it. Exactly, like you explained I could read everybody's emotions and see my friends happiness, I just could not relate. Given that this is only one of three close friends I have, I was truly shocked that I could not relate to any of her other friends. That was truly a big shock to me and exactly like you explained in your video. Thanks for all that you RE doing for us, INFPs, and blessings from a very warm South Africa.
I resonate with the ADHD and Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. But I wonder if it's just Abandonment Issues and parents who were emotionally dissociated.
You're an angel right on time.
Thank you for sharing your insite.
Be blessed💞
Highschool was a b-tch for me. Now I understand why. It was a gift to find which personality type I was. It was like looking into a mirror, and for the first time, seeing myself for who I’ve always been.
Yes, go for it all girl. Your analysis of the rammifications of our new virtual created are cutting edge, and people will have to realise this soon, the hard way. But our insights will pave the way for new paradigms of interaction. x
The thing that baffles me the most is that when people are gathering somewhere, instead of talking to each other they are silent and texting(!!!) one another instead!
I mean, if I go someplace it's not to do things online but to actually _talk_ to them or do other stuff.
Thank you, really needed this today ❤
I feel I've been blessed in the friendship department. I have three people I trust fully, and they are pretty much all over the MBTI scale. ESTJ, ENTP and ISFJ respectively. They're able to deal with my avoidant nature, take contact when I've been gone for long, take the time to invite me to events they know I feel fitting for me and most importantly for me... I serve a distinct role in their lives. They all have expressed that my presence is pretty much a beacon of calm in their otherwise stressing everyday, and they confide in me with their issues. One is a teenhood friend, and the two others I've met through online forums.
It's really been a great relief, knowing I have some people I can be about as authentic as I dare to be with.
What online forums do you meet people on? I wish to have a group of friends 😕
@@brittanysmith3716 Well, for what it's worth, I don't recommend that particular site. But forums about hobbies and such should be helpful with that!
I am an INFP too have friends, but I feel alone even then. I feel they don't get me or the situation that I am in completly. I have always love your channel very much and have a lot common. I am very thanful you post these videos and especially about INFP's. You are a awsome INFP! I love learning from you.
I like you. Authenticity is often hard to find in what usually amounts to superficial friendships. I could say more, here, but you’ve kinda covered it. Thanks for sharing.
I love this video, Lex. I'm an INFP with ADHD also, and it is really comforting to know that there are others who experience this. I'm dealing with this right now, myself in a very big way. I'm trying to get my own channel going but I've been struggling to find any friends who can understand my passions or encourage me on this process. Do you find that putting your videos out there helps you feel like you're engaging with the outside world in a meaningful way?
I am 67 years old and you have described me to a T. I am a loving caring sensitive person. I knew I was different as a child. I have never felt like I fit in. Not even in my family. I have 4 children. They cannot relate to me. People in my life have labeled me as "over emotional". They just don't get it!!
You are honestly amazing. I feel so understood and you make me cry every time. Thank you for making these videos ❤️❤️❤️
I totally agree. I'm picky about the people I befriend even on social media but the friends I make are lifelong friends. Most of them are extroverts, though.
I used to have friends as a kid, but then somewhere at the end of middle school, those friends that cherished me so much (and who i cherished too) suddenly gave me their back so hard that after more than 14 years I still feel pain remembering them, I even have frequent dreams where I try to speak to them and they appear cartoonish and not responding. I never understood what happened and I don't think is worth to ask them. One of them told me very angry that I was very egocentric and i just couldn't understand whyy she told me that?!
It's so painful I'm crying
I can't even go on social media without becoming emotional and critical of my own life. I have no one, aside from my beautiful kiddos, which I'm so blessed with! I can't even imagine another person, actually understanding me. Maybe someday.
I think social media can be a double edge sword. On the one hand it's great to be able to connect with all these people but then it's not really a replacement for actual human interaction since you aren't able to feel another's presence to build as much trust with them without being able to be in their energy and read facial expressions.
I would say the main advantage though is that it gives you more of a chance to think about what your going to say as you can write it out before saying, then go back and correct any mistakes before posting whereas in another's presence IRL, not so much when all the long pauses to stop and think to avoid saying the wrong thing can make the conversations more awkward especially for the socially anxious introvert. At times, i find myself afraid of that happening so i avoid social interaction if i feel i might be judged.
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Really. Watch your circle if you “do better “ then them… real friends (which is a rare thing) will encourage from a sincere place. Others will judge you and attack your confidence… especially with covert tactics that sound great to your ears perhaps but have actually a dark twist to it. A projection of their own insecurities…
Have not one and only family are 2 of my sons but I'm good with that way to.much drama in almost all these relationships be safe thank you
Social media is a nightmare! Hahahaha
But in all seriousness, I do have connections but not many. But like you say, it that authentic person is who i am consistently looking for. I don't like to waste my time. But, i'm fine alone. I love myself and being by myself to an extent. I get lonely but i can always find something to do.
i love that this is the only video on youtube i’ve seen without a dislike...that’s how you KNOW these vibes are genuinely good. How validating and reassuring! 😌
I get super disconnected and don’t feel like dealing. Being on Facebook for 5 minutes Is the worst. But old friends I have thin threads with now because I'm too tired to deal with much.
I am exactly this, and these words resonate. Thank you for sharing
As an infp and as a man, why do I feel things sooo deeply ?! I feel the pain or sadness or grief or even happiness and gleefully in others. To an extreme. And it effects me. I need some type of coping mechanism to alert myself when it's getting out of control. I'm to sensitive and I need to reel it in a bit. To the point of exhaustion. Dear God am I Losing it? Or what? I think I'm boarder line empathetic. I can so relate with diana on Star Trek . But to have close friends ??? Why is so hard for me?
There are some personalities I don't get along with at all. And others I do just fine.
I really relate to this. You do an amazing job putting all of these thoughts into a coherent narrative. It’s funny how INFPs have a push and pull in relationships. We have a “get away from me you shallow idiot!’ but also a “get so deep in me you drown!” kind of thing going on at the same time. I can see why we can feel a bit intense to be around at times, but I also think that’s part of our charm. Speaking of drowning - your eyes - wow - I could happily drown in those gorgeous pools!
I can totally relate on you saying that it is hard for us to only being able to connect with our friends via social media. I had a very close friend but then she moved to a diffrent country and now she feels so distant from my heart, because I know that we cannot meet up sponatneousely anymore, that I don't want to call her or have contact to her anymore. This whole long distance thing doesn't work for me, I tired it, but she's out of my life and therefore out of my heart.
When I have a deep connection with someone I really need a lot of real time. But I feel as if nobody understands this need of mine... Why are we living in such a shallow world?
Hey Lex great video.
May you plz do a video based on marriage and being an INFP. All aspects of it, would be highly appreciated🙏
This video might have some years but even so it stil resonates with so many including me. I am an INFP and I was recently diagnosed with ADD and Autism. People always found me weird so I never truly had friends and the few I had was when I initiated them but later came to find those people discarded me the moment they didn't need me. So I always navigated life by myself and not to feel lonely my brain had a way to create an alternative world where I could have those things I always wanted but was denied. You could say I have my own "lord of the rings" universe within myself where I self discover plus I can have the company of my own creations. So I have been able to survive just fine without people around me but it does get lonely. Sometimes I wish I just had 1 friend you know? So I would know what is like but no matter how many hobbies I join in as an adult, people don't approach me and when I approach them they just don't show interest. What was like in school hasn't changed for what is like in adulthood and I think that might be me being autistic as people always found me "weird" and not care to know me better. I have just accepted it and keep moving on but I would sure love to someday find my own people if there is such a thing. Lovely video❤
I AGREE im a super empath hsp high rafar psychic feelings highly intuative friendless being, high radar!!!i no them before they evem start to try and figure me out,im a loner. so so hard to make friends but im resiliant so i get over it, it WOULD be nice though. JENNIFER UK
Thank you for your video. I have found similarities from everything.
I was diagnosed at 52 years old 2020 with ADHD. I have worked in social care with vulnerable adults and children for 35 years. After learning about my ADHD, I found the ability to establish instant rapport, was seeking dopamine. My job role and children provide this. Like a bee to flower seeking nectar. I do not drink alcohol or use illicit drugs. I will use your information to add to a talk on ADHD I am doing at work very soon. Thank you. 🇬🇧🙂
Love this video! Glad to find your channel! Thank you.
Peace to all🙏🏾✨
Hahaha when you said '... social media on our fingertips' i knew you were gonna say 'Oh the irony' next 😂
Actually we said it together 🤣
Thank you for you 😄
As an INFJ/HSP I totally get this video. And funnily enough the first person in my life by whom I finally felt understood was: INFP ❤
Yep yep and yep and im ya friend even if you dont know me. You encourage share and help people and thats the kind of person id value or have as a friend. Keep doing you :)
The limited energy is very well, but the bigger issue is attachment and not wanting to be hurt, no matter the relationship
I looked this topic up today because I'm in grief over not having friends and having to socialize with people who I can't relate to spiritually or mentally/emotionally.
Same for the classes I take, or the other things I am around people.
I'm getting irritated by a lot of people. I probably annoy others too.
Not just INFP but also an awakening soul who is moving far away from the programming and agendas for enslavement of humanity.
Very few people get this.
I find some solace through CODA meetings and prayer to connect with myself
Very passionate and compelling, thank you Lex, this resonated.
You are so true! Thank you! I just found this channel. Every word I can relate to.
I'm an INFP-T with bipolar depression and ADD. I have friends but they all Iive far away. I keep up with them on the phone but I really want friends where I live. I finally joined a book group and we are reading Quiet ( a book about intorverts.) I think I found somewhere I can maybe make some nice friends. I can't stand social media. I got off of it for three years and got back on to connect more - and it helped, but I barely get on it. It makes me feel weird. I was able to reconnect with old friends there offline, which was nice, but that's about it. I need social presence more than anything in my life.
this video is so helpful to know i am not alone.
Learning that I’m most likely an INFP. Great video that I can definitely relate to a lot. You’re beautiful! I’d grab a beer with you.
I am an ENFP and also HSP. Its not much better for me just so you know. In my case I get told I can be overwhelming and have a lot of momentum, apparently it scares people off yet for me that is when I am at my best and feel most connected with life. Its disheartening.
Thank you for this video Lex!
100% agree with what you shared. Too bad we couldn’t find a Meetup group of ‘us’ in our respective areas.
I have never been diagnosed with ADHD. Only now at 42 do I feel like I have always had it. I feel so alone as I realise iv never had any friends and I never will. I have a long term relationship and that seems to be good. I’m very affectionate in my relationship. But with regard to friends I never let people get close and I feel disconnected from the world. It’s like people make friends but I don’t understand how they do it. They get on with each other like it’s easy. I’m mostly quiet at work. But i also don’t want to get close to anyone or try for fear of rejection. Over the last few years I have noticed things. I tend to analyse people and what people do. How businesses rip others off. I always see the negative side to everything and I hate it. Businesses making money by cheating others. People driving recklessly for hardly any gain. I often want to cause conflict by confronting these people. I hate noticing these things cos other don’t. Or maybe they just get on and don’t let it bother them. what’s wrong with me. I even go through scenarios in my head after conflict as if it’s happening. Like living another life. I talk to myself as I do this. Because of this I always see the downside to things. I hate myself for not being normal. Do others do this?
difficult to connect with people. i have some friends and i feel like none of them reached the close friend level. im glad i was able to meet and still have my bf that is really genuine and loving. but with friends, it has always been difficult for me because i feel like they can't be deep people. hard to find friends who have the same interests and thinking similar to me...i am an infj and hsp
I think most of us infp just see social media as a cesspool of bullshit. Left facebook for years and came back for a day and was just sickened by it.
You are my new favorite RUclipsr! 💕I relate heavily to your videos
A story I'd like to share, An INFP story:
I was waiting to be picked up after taking a GED test. I was just standing outside in front of a building. I notice this boy walking buy. I didn't even see his face yet I was still nervous. I feel an urge to look to my right. I thought he was standing there. I told myself ”no he isn't it's there. It's just your anxiety making you think that. Just look and you won't see anyone there.” So I look. He was there. Standing there, 20ish feet away. Then I tried to convince myself he was waiting for someone and him standing there had no connection to me. But my brain tells me he wants to talk to me, but because the idea of a guy coming up to talk to me just made me too nervous. I was just in the bathroom disappointed over the way a looked. I need to mention something, I had my hood up, ok. Then out of nowhere I hear, Hey!, it shocked me Im sure it wasn't his first time saying hey because 1) he said it kind of ”loud” like he was trying to get my attention 2) I was so in my own world that I didn't realize he, who had been 20ish feet away from me, was then next to me. I was shocked. Yet really admired the courage he had because I couldn't do what he had done. . Nervous yet executing the task. He quickly said, ”Youre really cute. Want one [ a chocolate wafer cookie]? I, still in shock said, ”Ya.” Took one, the cookie. Nibbled on it. Neither of us said a word after that. Yikes.
Next day: my friend asked me ”wtf what if it spiked/roofied? ”The wrapper was opened. What do they teach us in elementary school around Halloween, ”do not take unwrapped candy from a stranger.” :D
That's all.
I once had a coworker send me a message about two years after we stopped working together. He expressed that when we met he was going through a hard time (he never mentioned this). I saw him as introverted and knew he just needed a push to "come out his shell". He eventually could speak to all of us at once, and was always making us laugh. Anyways, he stated that I was the person who helped him through his rough patch and made him realize he was capable of accomplishing his dreams. He went on to join the marines, become a martial artist, etc. In conclusion, INFP, you never know just who's actually watching and learning from your silly hopeful self. ☺️
Beautiful , sweet , smart girl . I am INFP . I am lucky in that I have always managed to find pals . But , I have also spent much time alone. That's okay . If I am not feeling a true connection I won't bother to go there . Just can't. I simply cannot!! Yesssssss... your tribe . They are out there . Probably in England..dare I say ? Yes , it's easy to join online groups , but you feel you have to conform to their online lingo ..if you will . It's shallow ! FOMO .Oh NO ! Sod it . The dopamine released must be in tiny amounts. Some of watching have said is not true honey. Calm down .
Great video for INFPs. Good content.
Thank You for helping me lifting this confusion in my head. I'm feeling a little overwhelmed due to personal lives, works and family. Mostly about works. This Covid19 trully pushed me to the extent I cant do it All but I have to and I Must 😣
constantly battle with my self and time. Thanks..🙏🏻😘
Its not that i don't have any friends its just i don't have any real or genuine friends. I m not willing to share my secret. I never being open to 'em i don't know why. I just want to make friends, i want to love and be loved.
I’ll say i only have one person i actually consider my friend, it can go weeks between each time we hangout or talk but he’s always there for me when i need a friend, and im always there for him.
Many other people i used to consider my friends i’ve come to realize didn’t actually care enough to have me around, and most of the time i felt forgotten by them.
But despite this i’ve never been a person to have a desire to have many friends , i used to for a long time, but at a time i had many friends was actually the time i felt the loneliest.
Thanks for your video! I recognize myself in most things you say in the videos that I have watched so far. I am also a HSP and have ADD (undiagnosed ADD,but since all my siblings have ADHD diagnosis I am sure I have ADD, though not ADHD). Some of the things you described sounds like how female autistics are. Have you comsidered that you might be autistic? Autism in females is quite different from autism in males. I sometimes have wondered that about myself too but since I according to many people am good at reading between the lines and good at reading people's facial expressions and irony, I don't think I am autistic. How about yourself when it comes to reading people and understanding irony etc? 🌷💖
Fabulous, needed this. Especially the social media stuff 👌🏼🤩❤️
Sarah-Kate’s Art no problem! Glad you got something from it xx
Thank you! Ive been trying to get people to understand me all my life and this video is so me and putts my personality in a good prospective. Now i dont feel so alone. 😊
Agree with your views 👍🏻 . Fellow INFP+ here.
Hello twin . I’m an infp Aries Taurus cusp with a Virgo moon sign and Capricorn rising . I am sigma male . I can’t be controlled nor do I want to control anyone. The only thing I demand is respect . Being me destroys every relationship I’m in . Everyone ends up hating me in the long run . I have adhd also 🤣 .
I needed this so much today.
I’m an ENFJ and I find the same even as an extrovert
Good video, I just read Kathrin Deshotels book on Empath. Highly recommend it.