I feel like a lot of women, especially in their 20s, date based on who “excites” them and brings drama to their lives because they think its fun. Rather than choosing someone who is actually good for them and their future.
Yes. The overriding impulse is to be in the spotlight….to be noticed, validated and important. If her relationship is rocky, she’s the center of attention in her girl group as there’s always issues to be discussed where she’s the center of attention. Hot bf makes her top dog in her group…hot cheater makes her the center of discussion. Major drama means major attention
Careful with that statement. They’re often interchangeable. All the women who leave the guy who loves them for the guy with more money? Both exciting, both good for their future. Standards, morals, ideals, shared goals; these are the things missing from the conversation. Until these again become the backbone of good relationships, we will continue to have none.
Life has gotten better since I started improving myself instead of trying to impress others! Hopeful that things will fall in line after I'm more confident with all aspects of my personal, financial and work life
@No One Learned that the hard way, I've gained a lot more confidence in myself once I started hitting the gym consistently and focusing on my professional life. Solidifying and reinforcing a different purpose in life other than pursuing relationships has been one of the best factors to improving my mental health in a long time.
I got myself a hobby…before Covid took it away…and would avoid women like the plague as to not fall into a relationship or anything like it. I didn’t want anything to screw up the happy life. 🤣
@@cascadecowboy6849 I started the journey of finding myself back in 17. It took a while but I found what I needed…I just have to get that back and I know exactly what I need to do to achieve that. If I can just stop procrastinating 🤣
In my time, there was always two things that would cause relationships and marriages to fail. 1. When a man falls in love with a woman, he falls in love with the woman she is right now. In time, that woman changes, usually doing something she knows the man won't like. Once that man knows his feelings on things are not important to her, he withdraws. 2. When a woman falls in love with a man, she falls in love with some preconceived belief about what this man will become in the future, and when he fails to live up to that vision she had of him, she loses interest in him. Seems these days, with the advent of dating apps, all of that has now been fast-tracked so that you can skip the part about what brought people together in the first place, and go straight to swiping.... whatever direction means no. I don't use dating apps, so I never remember.
A guy I worked with who was 20 years my senior told me this when I was 21. As a 31 year old going through a divorce, I am another example of this exact situation where she changed and I didn't. Wise words that should be understood by both young men and young women to save some heartache.
@@davec1650 Change is inevitable. Most people call it "growing up", or "gaining wisdom", or "figuring things out". The biggest problem for men is that men need to understand this happens. It's true, their women are going to physically get older, one day even hitting the wall, and having their youth and beauty flounder like a flower. They are very temporary. The biggest problem for women is advertising themselves as caring and supportive without revealing the condition behind it, and their failure to accept that not all things go as planned. They could also use a lesson on not intentionally doing things men don't like, especially after they are married, when the thought behind it is, "well fine, divorce me. Let's see how that goes..." as she rips your heart out through your asshole and takes your wallet with her.
Not only that but people aren't using their true pictures of who they are everything is manipulated. People are using pictures that are 12 years old. When they were younger or in better shape and now they have filters that will do it for you, so you can take a picture at the age of 60 and filter it, so you look 30. Authenticity seems to be a dirty and bad word.
But 80% of those woman won't get the 10% of those men, because those men take also the 10% woman, the rest of the woman have to think realistic or they will end up forever alone.
I don’t know how to say this without hurting your feelings but it’s because you are just average, girls are not attracted to the average guy, they want strong men, not weak yes-men. There is a very quick solution, quick as in you’ll see dramatic results within a few days. I paid 1000$ for it but I’ll mentor you for free. 🙂 I was a weak beta male that said yes to everything and was cheated on by girls who liked jerks more than me. I went from being cheated on twice to having sex with 8 girls in total over the course of a year, and a girl even cheated on her boyfriend because she wanted to be with me. A girl who cheated on me even told me “your personality has changed, it’s like your brain became stronger” those are her words, lol! So ask me and I’ll definitely change your life, even if this seems too good to be true.
Same in reverse. You're likely also ignoring all the women that are a 3-6/10 on there. What about them? Everyone wants an attractive guy/girl, thats just life. Some people have to accept they aren;t getting a 9/10 though, and that's perfectly fine. There's plenty of gold to be had inbetween.
Ehhh the reason I don't want to get married is because the man has everything to lose. His money, house, car, kids, pension plans, etc. All the men that I have talked to that have been divorced told me they lost everything. I know everything ultimately falls on me because I chose the woman I married. I just don't want to run the risk of losing everything especially with divorce rates being so high. I know there are good woman out there but it seems like the number of good woman is thinning. Maybe its all in my head but all the girls I personally know or that I grew up with seem to adopt these toxic female traits of demanding the world but bringing nothing except a bad attitude to the table. I think both men and woman are to blame for the state of dating but the court system is undoubtedly favored toward woman. So why even bother running the risk.
Idea: We're at the point where "online" life is now MORE important than real life. So "a lot" of these individuals would rather date for looks/lifestyle than for tangible connections. Essentially relationships have become transactional, and inevitably unfulfilling.
I am purposely single; emotionally & physically unavailable. Not as a manipulation tactic to gain women, but for self-preservation. Good luck, everyone. Take care, and be safe.
You are such a wise woman Courtney and a huge blessing to be on RUclips! I was blown away when you said you’re 25 years old because you are incredibly mature and have such amazing and insightful videos. Very happy that you’re bringing up these important points about dating and life in general.
I realized after repeatedly getting burned how much time, money, effort and energy I put into relationships. I’m done. it’s just not worth it when I can be investing in myself not to improve my chances with women but to enjoy life and grow my confidence and myself. They had their chance I’m over the game and my life has improved so much I can’t even believe it. It would take a lot of persuading to convince me to date again.
Bottom line, most people today are morally bankrupt, it's truly becoming an exercise in futility to date today, have a relationship etc. All good points Courtney
I’m 33 year old dude never married, make good money, not interested in marriage, the woman wants a divorce you lose everything you’ve worked for she takes half. Not worth it anymore, chicks ain’t Loyal anymore.
@@phobos54 you’re looking at the wrong place. Avoid the bar scene as much as you can. Try book stores and groceries. I’ve only met quality women on those type pf places. Avoid: 1. Single moms 2. Women who smoke 3. Women with tattoos 4. Women who drink alcohol 5. Women with bad relationship with their father. 6. Feminist
For all those men thinking that 99% of women are evil and the cause of all problems in life, all I have to tell you is: change yourself if you want to attract different people. Change the places you go. Change the people you hang out with. Change your behaviors when on a date. You might have new experiences. Same goes for women.
Its mostly american women, if you can aford to travel you don't need them. Let them compete fro the same sociopath that abuses them, that's what they want. My best friend I used to call him "the worlds most eligible bachelor" gave up on american women and married an asian girl. If you make over 200k it's pointless to stay in the usa if you want a relationship. American women are just for pump and dump (if thats your thing) Me, I'm turning 30 and deciding if I even want to talk to women anymore, they have become impossible.
Lack of contentment and instantaneous gratification are two huge issues with society right now. We constantly seek what we don’t have rather than enjoying what’s in front of us. One thing I struggle with is actually being present. Putting down the phone and focusing on the task at hand or engaging in conversation and really listen. Getting rid of my social media accounts was the single best thing that I’ve done to help with contentment. Found myself getting sucked into judging my accomplishments based on the staged snapshots of other people’s lives. Good video Courtney!
Nowadays everyone is struggling to pay bills and built their dreams. It’s completely dishonest and disrespectful to feel entitled to request a fancy expensive dinner from someone.
@@giseleb7807 Sure you do, sweetheart. I'm sure you work way harder than half of the country which was making $40,000 a year or less before the great resignation. Not sure what it is now, honestly.
I found a way to bypass the slave system and make 1000$+ a day. Despite this I will only buy a girl an expensive meal if she earned it and therefore deserves it.
it took me 10 years to make 6 figures. as a software engineer. I had to jump jobs a lot but also get rejected hundreds of times in interviews.. I was unemployed a lot. I could have worked harder in my 20s and probably get there quicker but I was also a martial artist training every day so I wasnt working on work skills. Then when I was working I was going to the gym every day after work. Trying to balance my life spread it out so after a job ended in 2018 I struggled to get full time work until late 2021. I was unemployed amd did contract jobs. Just a lot of BULLSHIT. I dated a bit but being unemployed just did not make me available cause I had to work on my skills more. now work is hard and I work after work to make sure I dont fall behind. So now I just dont date cause I dont want to lose my income and lose my 3k rent payments.
I think the important thing to understand about the whole “changing them” issue is that people can change, but they themselves need to want to change for it to work. If they want to change, then a partner can absolutely help by encouraging that change. However if they don’t want to change, it just isn’t going to work.
You have to take into account for years women have been praised and encouraged to "train" their men, or put it more politely teach them proper behaviors.
Trust me I've been in same boat for even longer, now 38, and you'll appreciate your decision as you see all the CC riders around you hit that wall at 300 mph while your life keeps improving.
@@funkfarmer7125 im 40 and have been single for 20 years with no kids. I improve my life daily though. Would be lying if i said i enjoy being single though.
The more I listen to your talks the more I realize how fragile, insecure, and confusing relationships can be, and when they come to an end, naturally or unnaturally, it can be extremely painful. For some people, just having someone there is enough for them, but for others something as small as a shift in perspective can throw a wrench into the entire relationship. I realize at the core of these relationships is give and take when that comes to an end the relationship dies, which means most relationships are based on two people using each other, they have nothing to do with actual love and care.
I used to think like this too. But please don't.. I am a girl and i never thought her audience is 95% men lmao but i always applied her advice to myself. I find that it's just this generation where I have no idea how, but i look at my fellow 20's and all i can see is people just hooking up, using eachother, 50/50 and i am over here just thinking after many failed dates; ''You know what, i think no one has morals or values anymore... I am good grinding on my own and have a career till i find the right man. In the meantime imma focus on myself." I don't get how sleeping around is so so casual these days??? for both genders??? Like where did the intimacy go??? What about true love??? Or am i living in a fantasy world in my head? It's hard to stay positive in this dating scene... I am just glad I can see my parents grow old together and really caring for eachother. That definitely gives me hope. So I hope you have some positive couples around you who give you hope. I know my parents definitely do for me :)
"dark winter" is coming and samuels is cashing in on lots of $$$ making content making fun of women and lost men enjoying the content like women enjoying daytime drama tv shows LOOL
@@justinhenry5772 women growing even angrier as so many men check out of the dating scene altogether that unless they’re literally the best of the best they get no interest from any men. The only men left will be a)the true HVM that meet all these incredible standards; b) the pickup artists. They will only go for the very young, very attractive, very AGREEABLE women. The rest of the women will be home alone.
Okay so all of these are surface issues that are basically irrelevant. 1. Men aren't afraid of commitment. They're afraid of getting financially raped by the family court system. Afterall women initiate 80% of divorces. 2. Due to feminism we've lost all our social rules that has kept American monogamy in place. As such women have fallen into hookup culture. 80% of men these days aren't dating or hooking up due the the Paretto Distribution (10-20% of men get 80% of the women).
1. Prenup - if either gets butt hurt, don't marry that person. 2. Yeah, I agree, the whole free sex thing is a double edged sword. I obviously don't agree women should be judged for their sex life, but it spiraled into hook up culture that took as much benefits as it gave us - if not more.
I also want to add to that point about men being afraid of commitment. I honestly don’t believe men are that much more afraid of commitment than women. The reason for the disparity and confusion is women filter very strongly ahead of time who they will even give any time/sex/commitment to from the very first interaction/date/etc. Men do not. Men allow anybody in almost indiscriminately at the beginning, pretty much thinking about it casually mostly revolving around sex, but honestly some companionship as well. This of course allows a lot of women to be with men who if the men filtered the way women did and were honest with themselves whether they really liked her including personality and looks, they would not be able to get. After they meet, go on a date, have sex, etc., he either really likes her and like you hear on TikTok, she’ll know it. I don’t care how much of a fboy he is, when a man really likes a woman, it hits different and he’ll at the very least want to make it official to not lose her, maybe if he’s read some stuff about playing hard to get might do something here or there, but that’s it, otherwise he’ll really be into her, want to take her out, etc. If he doesn’t, she falls into the next category. The other much more likely to happen situation, which is what usually happens and I’ll explain why, is it usually turns into nothing if he really didn’t like her where he never calls her again after a time or two, or if she seems at least OK and he subconsciously perceives it as the best/easiest/no drama option of someone he can continue to casually date for sex/companionship it turns into a situationship (at least how he perceives it) or fwb, and he’s just kind of going along until the day she asks for commitment or something similar an then he actually has to do the filtering women usually do at the beginning where they’re picky and they guy is like “I actually don’t really like her, heck, I’m not even that attracted to her and she has these views which I’ve been ignoring cause it wasn’t any of my business, but now I have to take a good look to see if we’re compatible and whether I see a future”, and usually it’s no because no different than a random man approaching a woman and let’s say they talk for a bit right there, the chances that she’ll see them as a fit both physically and personality wise are very small
Aye, I have to pay child support for 4 kids because it was easier for my ex to go on Tinder and hook up instead of working on our issues and moving forward and building a stronger relationship, Cest la vie
I have been single for five years. Going on two years since I've been on a date. Re-entering the modern dating world is a pretty intimidating task. You're channel is very informative. Thank you, Courtney. Wish me luck!
There's no sympathy for women who choose players. Especially when they get pregnant over a one night stand or a terrible relationship. That is a point of no return that determines whether a woman is damaged goods for life or not. I would rather focus on myself so I can get myself a higher quality woman.
The women who regularly choose players are generally worse players themselves than the men they date. Trust me, you don't want to be with them. It's a miserable roller coaster of disrespect and emotional manipulation. Like Courtney always says, play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
@@ryanbarker3978 those are women that you can easily keep for fun, with them on board, because of everything you just said. If you so desire. If looking for love then yes avoid at all costs. Some are truly good people who have made mistakes, haven’t we all, but there are challenges and you must embrace them. A lot to ask for someone, without even addressing all the potential character flaws that such an outcome begs.
@@johnmasonthethird4903 I agree. If you're just looking to meet girls casually and hook up with no strings attached girls like that are fine. That only really works for 1-3 dates max and then on to the next girl. Women like this don't respect men who try to take them seriously. Regarding your point about people in this lifestyle being truly good and making mistakes: I'm sorry but this is hard for me to get behind. I don't view promiscuity as evil, but I do view it as a conscious choice. One of the largest problems on the modern dating market is a significant population of women who live a promiscuous lifestyle but want to pretend they are just holding out for Mr. Perfect: The player they're attracted to who also treats them the same as all of the 'nice guys' they friend zoned. This unicorn will never exist because they are complete opposites. All girls who are living in this narrative are doing is wasting everyone's time including their own. I don't think there's anything wrong with hook up culture even if it isn't for me, but if you can't be genuine to yourself and others about your own intentions, you shouldn't be dating.
It's a bizarre in-between era. Some women want the whole princess treatment and others think that holding the door open for them is an insult to their independence. And in both cases, you usually get written off after a single mistake in either direction. You were supposed to just know, after all. I'm really happy to see women entering a new, empowered era. But with great power comes great responsibility. And in this case, the responsibility is to ACTUALLY be communicative and sane. You can do it, ladies. I believe in you.
There's nothing new about it. Women have been empowered for a very long time. Call it Opportunistic Feminism. As long as these women gain advantages from equality and being Feminists, they are all about it. But the minute those opportunities vanish, they want to play "the little woman", and the men should do this and the men should pay for that. Have no part of it.
I am a girl and i never thought her audience is 95% men lmao but i always applied her advice to myself. But you're right. I find that it's just this generation where I have no idea how, but i look at my fellow 20's and all i can see is people just hooking up, using eachother, 50/50 and i am over here just thinking after many failed dates; ''You know what, i think no one has morals or values anymore... I am good grinding on my own and have a career till i find the right man. In the meantime imma focus on myself." I don't get how sleeping around is so so casual these days??? for both genders??? Like where did the intimacy go??? What about true love??? Or am i living in a fantasy world in my head? It's hard to stay positive in this dating scene... I am just glad I can see my parents grow old together and really caring for eachother. That definitely gives me hope.
Well done Courtney. I watched a couple of your early videos. As an older single I can definitely see that you, your teaching, and your communication skills have matured. Kudos!
Why modern dating sucks is because of feminism and the whole "you go girl" mentality women are raised to have. Most men would like to commit to a women, we want to feel like we are able to provide and protect but with most women keeping options open even when in relationship that's when the trust in women leaves. Ultimately it all boils down to biological reproductive imperative. it's easy for a woman to pass on her genes all she has to do is open her legs, but its hard for a man. he has to work to build that attraction or provide something in return for sex. that's why men are praised for having lots of sexual experiences but women are shamed because it's hard work for most men to have sex, while it's easy AF for women to have sex.
There's 1 easy way to solve a woman's dating problems- lower standards and choose just a nice guy instead of looking for Mr. Charming. But even if they try, it never works so it's like a dead-end. And some girls even on social media are starting to mention with surprise that there're guys who just live life, do their stuff, and don't bother dating.
Nice guys and good men don’t get them hot the way the sociopaths do. Trouble is, she can’t live with sociopaths and “committing” to one invariably leads to disaster
Men have been pedestalizing women for far too long, resulting in women having an unrealistic checklist when it comes to dating. Online dating did the rest, with ladies believing they're hot because every swipe turns out to be a match. If you believe you're hot because you've got matches on Tinder, it's like believing you're Masterchef because you've opened a can of tuna to a bunch of hungry cats. Guys, if she plays games she isn't worthy of your time. Girls, if a guy lets you play games or plays games himself, he isn't worthy of your time.
I am a girl and i never thought her audience is 95% men lmao but i always applied her advice to myself. But you're right. I find that it's just this generation where I have no idea how, but i look at my fellow 20's and all i can see is people just hooking up, using eachother, 50/50 and i am over here just thinking after many failed dates; ''You know what, i think no one has morals or values anymore... I am good grinding on my own and have a career till i find the right man. In the meantime imma focus on myself." I don't get how sleeping around is so so casual these days??? for both genders??? Like where did the intimacy go??? What about true love??? Or am i living in a fantasy world in my head? It's hard to stay positive in this dating scene... I am just glad I can see my parents grow old together and really caring for eachother. That definitely gives me hope. But the guys commenting definitely gives me hope as well, that there are still great man out there, where can I find you guys ? 😭
@@fizahaque It's a pity that I live in Europe, otherwise I'd take you out for a coffee :)) (from the way you write you're probably based in the US). Most generally, don't despair because there are tons of great guys out there. The modern narrative is that girls are angels and guys are evil, but having spent quite sometime on earth by now, I guarantee you that the evil ones are carefully selected by the girls who complain about them. The ability to identify a good partner is as important as (if not more)being a decent human. Watch out for red flags, don't ignore them believing that "I am sure I can change him"
@@giveover7552 Hahaha well that’s very very sweet. I would be down for coffee for sure and lucky for you, I actually live in Europe. The Netherlands to be precise :) from which country are you from? Anyway, I think my keyboard is doing it’s little US thing here 😂 The part about evil ones and good ones. Trust me, I know EXACTLY where you’re coming from. Growing up I always had girls who were either backstabbers. Or jealous of me but being fake so they could reciprocate everything I did. Needless to say, I grew up having more casual talks with guys and gaining knowledge from them compared to girls. I have a girl best friend, but apart from her and my mother, I barely trust girls nowadays. Nor guys if I’m being honest haha. I’m friendly with many but I only see a few as my close ones. Anyway, I definitely know that I always see the good in people. I’m very logical and practical so I know for a fact I don’t think I can change anyone so I just take every single thing at face value. But because I normalise my thinking of “If I do this, it must be normal for them too” showed how that exact thinking made me lose myself in a relationship where I learned that people do make empty promises. Nonetheless, both of us played a role in the breakup of course and I learned my lessons so I’m just focusing on becoming the best version of myself. Gradually. But I will get there. Lots of love ! 😊
@@fizahaque you gotta be kidding me! I also live in the Netherlands, in Eindhoven. Originally I am Italian, although I left my country long ago. I'll definitely take you out for a coffee, let me know where u r based and we can arrange it! :)) Ps: i don't bite, unless it's pizza 🍕 LOL
@@giveover7552 OMG No freaking way 😂 I'm based in Arnhem haha. Hopefully you have a iPhone so you can see the numbers haha Nope, het werkt niet haha is wss tegen hun reglement in. Anders had ik men nummer gegeven. Andere platforms kan ik ook niet in men berichtje zetten.
It's clear the struggles women face. 1. Not enough Chads for each of them to have their own. 2. Women enjoy emotional turmoil because it makes them feel productive.
Agree and will add: 3. The few ones that manage to get a Chad soon discover that Chad won't committ, won't invest in them, won't treat them like they wish he would... because Chad is a jerk and Chad has options (many).
@@drimhighify Chad isn’t necessarily a jerk, he’s responding to the nature around him. It’s an ancient truth that sex is an insatiable desire that breeds on itself, especially for men. Once tasted it’s tough to release, and the Chad’s are at a constant roller coaster of sexual experiences and emotional distress, usually brought upon by the desperation of the women he involves himself with. Its probably akin to sleepwalking. Rattling between sexual relationships, unable to grasp what his innate natural senses are telling him as to who would be a good partner (another discussion about the difference between “hot” and “beautiful”, detailed by Bret Weinstein on joe rogan once if curious). The culture promotes hotness over beauty that obscures signals men used to rely on. The Chad’s are on a signal overload and tend to fall into a pattern of sustainable easy sex without a shred of commitment as easily and natural as water follows gravity. They can absolutely be jerks, to be sure, but there’s no doubt the forces of biology and culture have significant and dire impact.
@@johnmasonthethird4903 I am a girl and I find that it's just this generation where I have no idea how, but i look at my fellow 20's and all i can see is people just hooking up, using eachother, 50/50 and i am over here just thinking after many failed dates; ''You know what, i think no one has morals or values anymore... I am good grinding on my own and have a career till i find the right man. In the meantime imma focus on myself." I don't get how sleeping around is so so casual these days??? for both genders??? Like where did the intimacy go??? What about true love??? Or am i living in a fantasy world in my head? It's hard to stay positive in this dating scene... I am just glad I can see my parents grow old together and really caring for eachother. That definitely gives me hope.
I think it’s just harder to meet people nowadays, a lot of people are on edge and not always receptive to meeting someone new, and then there’s always the possibility that even if you get to know someone, you might not like them or align your values with them. And then the whole process starts over again and it can get exhausting. Even going thru that process only a few times is demoralizing if you have an introverted personality
The streets are cold. Western culture is changing. I got a passport and traveled the world. Women in Asian countries ease my dating stress. I can now see myself getting married and having children. I think the mentality of western cultured women is what increases my anxiety of dating. Western women have a "want" mentality. Asian women seem to have a "give" mentality.
Way ahead of you my friend - married a girl from east Asia. 20 years later she has been my best friend and rock during some tough times. Always faithful. We have two fine teenage sons (13 + 15), a large farm, plus 2 vacation properties. Life is good. PS: Dated 8 western girls and every one of them was unfaithful, and two were crazy.
There’s a lot of hurt and disappointment that is heavy baggage for a lot of people. It’s so difficult to trust someone again. I wonder if it ever can be overcome.
The “too many option” idea is an interesting point. It makes sense how people are not as confident/happy with their choices when too many options are available. A person may think there was a better option. So, I can see how this is problematic in dating. However, I’d like to present an additional idea. As a culture, we are encouraged or taught to “climb the mountain,” “move up,” “continually do better,” etc. The whole idea would be for me to continually improve my current situation. Even when I reach the metaphorical “summit,” then the next thought is “what’s next.” In my experience, this is encouraged in almost all aspects of life, except when it comes to dating. It seems as though if I find the “right” person, then I am almost expected to “settle down” or commit. But, all the while I’ve been creating the habit of finding the right person - which means that when someone is not “right,” then we break up and I find someone “more right,” or “better.” I’m not trying to say that casual relationships are ok and I’m not trying to encourage casual dating. However, when there are too many options and people have developed a habit of finding someone “more right,” it can be difficult to end a habit and “settle down.” The difficulty can be deciding when is someone “right enough,” especially since no one is perfect. If you’re read this far, than I thank you for your time. If you have additional time, I would be interested to hear your thoughts on this idea.
I agree wholeheartedly with what you said. I actually condone and live a life with concurrent casual relationships. They know not about each other personally but they know what I do and that they aren’t going to change it. It’s interesting that women have put up with it as long as they have, some of them for years, and always lament about their dating life having nobody “good” available. They want monogamy but aren’t willing unless it’s someone who meets their standards, which are exceptionally high compared to the reality. Not necessarily high compared to their dating pool, but in comparison to all men, in that many more women exist with high standards than men exist that meet those standards. I hope one day feminisms true reckoning will arrive and they’ll wake up to the ridiculous hierarchy they created amongst themselves, and reject it. They really control the entire dating scene but freely give it up because they’re so competitive. Idk, it’s something else to witness compared to stories of dating in previous generations.
Its a shame this channel is watched by primarily men, if women watched this channel and realized that men want a woman who is like C. R. and changed accordingly, everyone would be married up in short order.
Grass isnt always greener on the other side. I had a ex break up for that reason. To tell me a month later he made a mistake. But I didn't take him back
It's like this Courtney, people need that human touch for their mental and even physical health, but whether it's Mother Nature, Father Time, or God, they made it so people don't really really get along or like each other. They created humans for their entertainment! ;-)
Sounds like you may be justifying burning good girls. A lot of the problem is people are rebelling against GOD, mother nature, physiology and or psychology.
The planet Earth is God's zoo. God's creation of humans is a scientific experiment. God did not create people with the intention that they would get along with each other as well as possible. God periodically improves the quality of life for humans and monitors how human behavior changes with better living conditions.
Me too. I feel this will be the next "normal": Most people needing to adapt to live happy, solitary lives because of how well we have performed to virtualize everything.
the other problem is the dating coaches. you're the only coach of sorts that holds both sides accountaable. most dating coaches follow this script: dating coaches for men - how to improve yourself, court women, etc. dating coaches for women - how to filter out toxic men and not waste time in other words, the women are seen as not the problem and just have to filter out bad guys. this was one of the driving forces for redpill channels. having women see themselves as "the prize"
Dating coaches for men don't teach men how to 'court' women. Courting is a thing of the very distant past. They teach them how to manipulate them. Women filtering out toxic prospects does not translate to them considering themselves as a prize. Really skewed comments here.
There has never been a time in history where people have had as much contact with the opposite gender as now yet have so little successful relationships
Thank you for this level-headed video. Your points were clear and very understandable. Both sides have to come to reality and set realistic standards for themselves and do what's best for the sake of the relationship and not a fantasy ideal.
I believe one of the major reasons why the dating market is in the toilet is because people are lacking authenticity and not being true to who they really are. People are dating other people who are being fake or not genuine, or those same people aren't being as real and true to themselves as they should be and are dating people who they know don't fit what they're looking for and it has created a huge pool of chaos and confusion. Be real with yourself and what you desire in a partner and don't date people who don't fit it out of some fear of not bring able to get what you want.
I love the point about distinguishing between standards (must haves) and preferences (nice to haves)! This channel, along with The Roommates, helped me recalibrate in this regard for the better. Hope this message/video is forwarded to more women.
I am a girl and i never thought her audience is 95% men lmao but i always applied her advice to myself. But you're right. I find that it's just this generation where I have no idea how, but i look at my fellow 20's and all i can see is people just hooking up, using eachother, 50/50 and i am over here just thinking after many failed dates; ''You know what, i think no one has morals or values anymore... I am good grinding on my own and have a career till i find the right man. In the meantime imma focus on myself." I don't get how sleeping around is so so casual these days??? for both genders??? Like where did the intimacy go??? What about true love??? Or am i living in a fantasy world in my head? It's hard to stay positive in this dating scene... I am just glad I can see my parents grow old together and really caring for eachother. That definitely gives me hope.
I'll point something out Courtney a big problem with men not committing nowadays. For one thing the courts heavily favor women if all goes wrong and 80% of divorces are initiated by women. But here's another glaring issue.....Women today want to get married, but they don't wanna be wives. They will expect men to always be traditional while absolving themselves of traditional responsibilities. One example is keeping your pool of options open when a you are already in a relationship.
You may not be reaching many women in the population of your channel, but the women that are listening also can listen to this content and pass these jewels of info along to their single friends as well ☺️❤️
I stopped wanting to be with anybody after my last relationship, zero accountability and completely relied on me to make her happy... Lost myself trying to meet her need's...now that it's over... Im loving the stress free life.
When women confuse their standards with their preferences, everyone loses. Men have no value anymore. So many women are below standard, but believe they are perfect 10s. Courtney you are definitely marriage material. Did Teddy propose yet?
Correct. Most women believe the Chad that smashes them will eventually marry them.....ummmmm nope. They also believe they deserve Chad so anything less disgusts them.
That is an interesting point she brought up about women's standards vs preferences. When women strictly adhere to their "standards" they miss out on a lot of great guys who may not be hot or rich but treat them well. The "hot" guys are the ones who do the hookup thing cause they know they can.
@@tonii5690 You're under the assumption that the remaining 'not hot or rich' guys embody all positive attributes. That's just not the case. Many of the regular guys are manipulative vengeful creeps.
I find myself agreeing with everything this woman says! Are you inside my head Courtney? These are traditional old school values which have sadly fallen by the wayside. Nice to hear a coach with integrity. Yes it would be great if you did a video on casual v commitment.
I am a girl but i struggle with this too, i can't seem to find like minden people who still have traditional values... I find that it's just this generation where I have no idea how, but i look at my fellow 20's and all i can see is people just hooking up, using eachother, 50/50 and i am over here just thinking after many failed dates; ''You know what, i think no one has morals or values anymore... I am good grinding on my own and have a career till i find the right man. In the meantime imma focus on myself." I don't get how sleeping around is so so casual these days??? for both genders??? Like where did the intimacy go??? What about true love??? Or am i living in a fantasy world in my head? It's hard to stay positive in this dating scene... I am just glad I can see my parents grow old together and really caring for eachother. That definitely gives me hope...
I thought this was a vey well thought out, intelligent guide to successful dating. Years ago it was different.. people were more sociable because you had to be. You saw what a person was like well before you asked them out. There was true attraction there that was felt throughout your entire body. I remember watching girls from across the room at a bar or party.. listening to their voice, how they interacted with their friends, how they move when they're dancing. I knew she was special far beyond what a picture could tell me. My heart would start beating faster because I knew I had to talk to her. Those are very intense and difficult moments, but if you wait for it and pick the right time to approach her, you could be creating a very special memory for the both of you.
good solid vid, touched on everything well. With life I find sometimes the universe won`t give you the next thing as easily until you master where you are already are or thankful for what you currently have. Like most things in life its a delicate balance of learning to walk the line well. as confidence can easily turn to arrogance. love into fear, genius into insanity or anything that borders each other if not properly balanced.
I’ve been working on myself a lot and figuring things out and yes dating apps are stressful and I don’t really like it but if I want to meet someone it’s a hurdle to get over
I kid you not. I had this conversation with a friend about 6 years ago when she asked me to look over her dating profile. Back then I thought it was ludicrous but it is the norm today. She actually said that they HAD to like X football team and X alternative band and to not waste her time if they didn't because those were important to her. I asked if she was willing to change it to just liking football and alternative music because it was really limiting her choices and made her look inflexible. She said that she was not going to lower her standards and was not going to waste her time with men who did not meet them. 😐 I really thought it was just delusional thinking back then and now realize it was already well on the way to becoming the norm. People are not products that you order custom made to your desires. You look for certain good qualities and then build up from there.
Women like that are doing the eligible bachelors a big favor. She is telling them in no uncertain terms not to waste their time with her. Too bad some men are too dumb to listen.
Too many people misinterpret the "build up" part too. It's not a backdoor to your previous standards. People aren't projects to mold into your perfect image of an ideal partner either. Build up the relationships intimacy, acceptance, and understanding; not the person.
I respect the fact that you have a channel like you do . It probably helps alot of younger guys out . It's difficult for us older guys too . Time is a interesting animal . It helps , heals.. is not always kind . You find that you start looking at things without someone in your life .You look at moving on with the hope of being able to carry out your goals . This is done one foot in front of the other . Before you know it starts happening. I used to be one of these younger guys . Now I look forward to enjoying things more . I no longer care about chasing women .
The date apps is all trash, most information are lies or misleading . I don’t use anymore because is just wrong way to start something and I not even talking about the pictures. Do you know or suggest some app? I change and adapt , for example, I don’t drive nobody anymore, if she accepted I just give the time and place. Last time was really bad She was not fun, was aggressive, rude. Take her home was hell , but I could not find in me sending her back on a taxicab . Only funny thing was the explanation she demanded for the fact I did not try anything after taking her to her doorstep. But again, I don’t want to be rude, just be sure she was safe and out of my hands.
Thanks Courtney - nice content and lots of common sense about the crazy world of dating. Your input is appreciated and makes me aware that it isn’t just my thinking!
The combination of hypergamy, and the fallacy of choice…. Along with the era of online dating, has destroyed the dating dynamic. As somebody who’s done well on both sides of the fence I can see it clear as day.
Too true. The "natural" or "normal" way of human relationships is broken beyond repair. It will become worse in the next years. Virtuality has already won, and as it continues its expansion, more isolation, unhappiness and illnesses will follow.
Hello Courtney: On the subject of changing people, years ago, I heard this saying, "After marriage people do change, they get worse." Have a lovely day.
Courtney, once again (duh), your intellectual maturity is impressive and mesmerizing. We need more similar women like this out there. I only hope that the women that show up here follow your suggestions. IMO, social media has bastardized the collective thinking of the masses to errantly believe their lives need to keep up/compare to everyone else’s highlight/postcard reel of “reality.” This in turn, has produced all of the freaking entitlement so prevalent now. This makes it even more difficult for men to avoid being labeled as creeps, lecherous or stalkers, simply from giving a compliment.
Think of your relationship like it's a house. People who invest in maintaining their house will have a lovely home that increases in value. Otherwise, the house breaks down and becomes an uninhabitable eyesore. You don't have to be an indentured servant. Just take pride in maintaining what's yours.
@@bros4654 What's "yours" will be second hand at best and severely reduced in value. Maintain it all you want, but the fella who had it first and fucked it into the bin is laughing at you with all his friends.
Really? You think that Chad doesn't put any effort into his appearance, social skills, confidence or lifestyle? That he can do nothing, stay at home spending all day online and women just fall into his lap?
I think you touch on a lot of good points. The one that stuck out to me the most was confusing standards with preferences. This is something that I notice a lot with my friends and coworkers. It’s something I used to be guilty of as well. Now I don’t understand how a man being below 6’ whatever is a deal breaker. Or if they don’t like the same music it’s a no go. I think shared values and maturity trump if he can reach a tall shelf or not. They make step ladders for a reason 😆 In all honesty though, I feel like this has become such a complicated issue, but I think you did a very good job of highlighting and touching on the main issues surrounding dating today. Great content!
From an older guy to the younger guys out there - Have women as friends. Women can make really good friends especially for men. But avoid dating or romantic entanglements with them. Focus on improving yourself and your career. Don't waste your time and energy wanting, chasing, or pursuing. And frankly if you don't want to have children, there is absolutely no reason to ever get married.
I would add to be careful not to fall into being her friend that she gets favors from (e.g., fixing her car, driving her places, other favors, etc.). Otherwise, she gets the boyfriend experience without you getting the girlfriend experience.
Yep, yep, yep. Great points. One of the things I try to impress upon my dude friends is exactly what you mentioned with the "too many options" point. That really affects your decisions and your happiness with your decisions, at least for most people. And women just have a much easier time finding "someone" than guys do. Part of the issue is that almost no one wants to be single. So women can just look around and point at the guy they like best and bam, something starts happening. But, the "best guy at the time" isn't the same thing as "someone you actually connect with and admire."
I was disappointed to not see polarizing political/cultural environment as one of the issues in dating. For example, I was with my kids and saw a single mom sitting at a nearby table at a restaurant I often go to and know the staff well. The waitress, knowing I too was single, pointed her out to me and encouraged me to go talk to her. Instead, I attempted to anonymously pay for her meal, I discreetly asked the waitress for her bill and paid it in full. Before I could get my kids rounded up to leave, she found out from the waitress (trying to play matchmaker) that I paid her bill. She came over and flipped out. She angrily told me, "You didn't have to do that! I can take care of myself!" I calmly replied, "I know I didn't have to do that, I just thought it would be nice." gathered my things and children and left. My honest intent was seeing a fellow single parent, understanding the struggles and challenges with raising kids alone, and wanting to just do something nice. In today's crazy world, simple acts of (almost anonymous) kindness spark outrage and cause insult...the lens of dating just amplifies this dynamic 100x.
I am a middle age guy who is trying to date again after 23 successful years of marriage (widowed) and your videos are extremely insightful into today's dating scene, which is a mess IMO. Your comment about why emotionally unavailable women go after emotionally unavailable men is spot on. I just experienced this myself with someone who has never had a healthy long term relationship, going back to how she interacted with her own father (I really shouldn't have ignored the red flags and kept it casual, but we got along great and had an awesome time together until she wanted to try to have a bf/gf relationship which is when it fell apart). A lot of single women in my age group seem to be bitter and/or damaged with massive trust issues and who use their desire for independence as a reason for not being able to be vulnerable. I am seriously thinking about trying to date someone significantly younger than me just to try and find someone who hasn't been wrecked, but that brings an entirely whole different set of issues, especially if they want kids (sorry, I have two who are nearly functional adults and I am done raising children). Thanks for doing what you do and keep up the great work!
I find myself so bitter and frustrated sometimes because of all these issues. There is a movement going on right now where some men are advocating that we pass on fighting the next major war in response to all of the societal problems. I'll admit, I wake up somedays and agree with them; why would I die for this?
You know, there is a theory that monogamous societies were formed by the elites to give ordinary men motivation to work and fight in wars and have something to actually defend, so it’s a pretty sensible idea.
I want to create a deadly virus that kills only men just so women can understand the loneliness and what men do for women who treat us like disposable trash.
Courtney, you are on key with the statements you make about men and women. I have to say that a couple is nothing without being friends. Being friends is the foundation to every relationship, romantic or farther. Men and women want to be able to rely on on another as well as be independent. Relationships take work from both, not just one. Relationships are about sharing life experiences and growing together as a couple. I have to say through my wife, she did change me for the better. Without her, I'd be lost in a bad focus on life. My wife was an amazing woman. I only wish there was more time for her to grow.
Alot of delusion, alot of social manipulation in women. On the brighter side; more guys are saving lots of money, investing in themselves, taking care of their health on their own time, lots of therapy breakthroughs. Men, keep working...👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Hi Courtney, I love your channel and have been following you for some time. It's refreshing to hear a woman's point of view when it comes to dating and how to navigate dating in modern times. I am a woman and I agree with you about women taking accountability for the actions and choices they make dating men. I had to step back and go to therapy myself to understand why I am triggered in a relationship with the men I've dated and how to keep myself accountable. I'm still a work in progress, but I am glad I remove some of my toxic ways and learn how to approach a situation in a healthy way. BTW I am a Clevelander as well! :)
Not only online dating, just go out there in the real world and see how many women would actually start up a convo or ask for your number even less than online probably.
Dude, women have almost NEVER approached men and given out numbers. You have to go for it yourself. The worst thing that happens if you don't act like an idiot, is that she politely declines.
You haven’t tried. You know how I know? Because women are DYING to be asked out and you’re living in a goofy internet bubble. Go out and ask! It’s super easy right now Most women are in “yes mode” right now because they’re so frustrated with online bullshit
@@zack183 you don’t have to act like an idiot. Women just love something unique. Say something that’s not “hey you’re cute.” Don’t ask a question. Make a comment or observation then maybe exaggerate it. Something like that.
@@basstheangelo yep, just gotta learn how to talk to people, and also put yourself in the woman's shoes... she's just another human like you are. She likes people and talking too. She isn't going to transform into a dragon and eat you if you say something that isn't perfect.
This is a great video. I think these issues apply to so many men as well. People fail to see things for what they are. They live in false realities. Also, I think it's this way in large part because men have become so weak. For example I have about 3-5 girls on Instagram every week ask me to send them money and gift cards. Ummmm, no. That leads me to think that a lot of weak men begging for attention from them do send them money. Weak men have created these dating problems in large part and for the stronger ones, it really sucks.
I’ve seen so many men in different comment sections being upset at women when they say I only do dinner dates on the first date. And as a man myself I think to myself why are you so mad at her, if that’s what she want’s to do it’s okay, just as much it is okay for you to only do coffee dates. Why do you care that much? Just don’t date those women if you don’t want to, it doesn’t make sense to me to be that angry at someone having a preference. Some people should cool down a couple of minutes before they answer or even better don’t answer at all.
well, consider what that "preference" could possibly mean: the woman feels entitled to that free meal simply because she has deigned to be in the presence of this lowly male, this her test to see if a man is serious while she still retains the right to reject him on a whim, or it could mean she just wants free food. All three of these are selfish reasons. Insisting on a dinner date is fine if she's willing to split the tab or pay all of it. Otherwise it's clear she doesn't respect him to begin with and if this is the majority of women men are running into, I would be pissed too. And once i got over the anger, I'd say, "fvck it, I'm out."
"Just don't date those women" ok those are literally the only dates I've gotten so I'm agreeing and giving up. I'll never approach another women or ask them out. They can ether ask me or not. I don't care anymore. women have priced themselves to high, it's not worth it.
On overwhelming choice-I used to do do demos at Costco. I found that when I simplified my displays for the customers as much as possible for the customers, I sold more. The principle absolutely works. #simplify
“There a lot of women out there that are wifey material.” Citation needed. Completely disagree. Almost zero women bring feminine personalities to the table. See all Kevin Samuels videos for reference.
I'd say 99% of American/westernized modern women are not even GF material nvm wife material. They have been poisoned by the culture and those box's glued to their hands.
Most so called modern “men” ain’t husband material either. Spending hours a day consuming red pill material and complaining about women and life isn’t husband material either.
@@Armando316 Being a good husband is about providing and protecting. That is something that most men do naturally. They are not broken like modern women are.
@@bmardiney You mean today’s so called men who do nothing but whine and cry about life? The ones that don’t get themselves together till they’re almost 40?? The same guys who wouldn’t last a week in boot camp? Or cant hold a job? Or is this the same type of men who thirst after IG models and only fans girls? It’s not just modern women who are phucked up. So called men of this generation are messed up in their own way. It’s not one sided.
I think it's very kind of you to make a video to help women with their dating struggles. Because like us good men, there are good women out there that want commitment. Women don't have as many good advice like us men do especially on RUclips. They need women who have had success in dating and getting boyfriends/husbands giving them the correct strategies. Thank you Courtney for speaking the real talk. Have a great weekend 🌺
Public comment. Ms Courtney you are down to earth. I am happy and proud of you. God bless you. It is very hard to find someone who is honest and trustworthy and respectful and want to have a family. In any relationship between two persons needs trust and respect and commitment to serve the true purpose in life. Self realization is the key to success. Pure taught and actions base on how you procieve life journey begins with you. God created everything for humanity to enjoy life. It is important to protect your dignity and integrity also moral values. No games. No red flags. Loyalty is royalty. ❤❤❤.
I stopped hooking up when I was 20 years old and started looking for a real relationship. Couldn't find it, nothing but girls wanting to hook up all throughout their 20s and into their 30s. I gave up @ 27, been single and abstinent for over 10 years, and I'm not looking back. Good luck ladies.
@@abolisher Women give up easily too, it's not a matter of gender anymore. It is a matter of living in a crappy, virtual society that keeps getting worse every day that passes. And sadly, it has no solution because it is what it is. Being happy alone and taking care of your self-growth while enduring the inevitable moments of feeling lonely is the best option.
I'm grateful that Courtney puts her thoughts out there. A lot of people I know aren't all that self aware, but's it's clear that Courtney has considered a large number of different perspectives on many challenging social topics and has come out the other side quite wise. Society would be much better if everyone was as capable of reflecting and improving.
Especially when you are older. I’m 45 years old and been trying to get back out dating, from a long break. I didn’t realize how bad it is now. I’m wanting something long term and it’s very hard to find any woman that wants that let alone date in my age group. It’s all about Hook Up culture now, and Im not looking for a fling.
Bro you your net is not wide so you are looking in the wrong directions; there are women who are out there you just need to look for key performance indicators.
@@CourtneyRyan thanks 🙏 I’m trying to stay optimistic etc but it’s hard. So many men and women both are all about games, no commitment etc but I’m hopeful that I will find a woman to compliment my life and that wants the same things. As usual thanks Courtney for the great videos and content. ❤️
Women + Chad's and tyrone's love modern dating. Women's options dry out after they hit the wall but even if women are 5'2 and 250 pounds they can find sexual partners. It's only non Chad's and tyrone's that dating is a struggle for
Yeah, the top 10% of men are getting the benefits of hook up culture, and the bottom 90% are picking up the costs. Or should I say, they are not picking up the costs. That's why dating is mayhem right now.
Men and women, look at the behavior of the person you are going after. Its not just about how they treat you, look at how they treat other people. I have had to let even friends (or people I thought were friends) go from my life, because I couldn't stand how they were treating other people. Sad part is that it took me years to figure this stuff out.
Be content with where you are in life whilst pushing to meet your goals. Don't worry about what you can't change. Take action on things you can change, and have a positive outlook even during bad times. Only give your time to people who value your time. Set boundaries. Life's too short to run around being miserable. Try to be a 'glass half full' type of person. Modern dating is great as long as you take your time, and screen out the bad leads. Be with someone(or people if you're playing the field) that you click with.
No matter what we do ,no matter how hard we try there will always be someone better ………with that being said just choose a person who checks most of your requirements that’s it you are good to go
I'm a 25 year old guy. I've been looking for a serious relationship with a quality woman. Met with a Christian girl, everything was great but she was too overly religious for me. We had one silly disagreement about religion, and it was a deal breaker for her. We were totally compatible otherwise. She didnt see the pros weighed out the cons. I Wish people wouldnt throw people away based off little things.
I think that faith and politics are probably the only two things that you shouldn't compromise on, honestly. They both frame your worldview. If you're not in alignment on those two pillars, you're going to have to work so much harder to maintain a healthy relationship.
Great video! I think all your points can lead to one cause, at least for men, they don't grow up. They chase tail from high school through college and then right into life. Never once stopping and taking the time to change or do better or correct bad actions. Dating as an adult (18+) should not be the same as when you were in middle/high school.
_"Instead of looking for the girl with the biggest butt, maybe look for someone who's kind and compassionate."_ Once again. Plain and simple. And sums up the whole problem.
@@christopherfaulkner8514 I’m going to agree with what you said with the caveat that not only top tier men have these problems. I’m an older guy, I’m well off, tall, athletic, great shape, healthy, prestigious career, educated and have had more relationships than I care to think about. I don’t date gorgeous women, I much prefer the girl next door type. It has been my experience that the prettier women attract more drama that I don’t want. That said you hit the nail on the head, Hypergamy! Nothing is good enough and men are all stepping stones to the next best guy. They do have a false sense of value and dating apps fuel the I can do better attitude. Then they wonder why after a string of good decent men they didn’t want, their heart gets broken by a smash and dash.
Sorry, no. What Courtney misses is that while some guy do have 1 thing that attracts them, her false equivalency is weak. Women have 6, 6, 12, 20. There’s a famous RUclips video with an overweight, middle aged woman who had a gigantic list. And she’s not the only 1.
@@WestCoastAce27 Exactly! Not only a list of requirements but they want to change you too. I don’t want to wear a suit and tie, I did that for 20 plus years so now I’m wearing flannel and denim. Yes I can afford a Mercedes but my $60k 4x4 is much better in the woods because I like to hike. No I don’t want to grow my hair long, it’s short because I liked it that way since I was in the military. I retired early because I invested and saved so I could do what I wanted while I’m still fairly young so no I don’t want to work again full time. I like going to the gym so I’ll pass on the half marathon that you want me to do with you cuz you don’t bother to lift with me. Just ridiculous things after knowing them for a few weeks. I’ve done well for myself and I don’t need them to change me.
I feel like a lot of women, especially in their 20s, date based on who “excites” them and brings drama to their lives because they think its fun. Rather than choosing someone who is actually good for them and their future.
Yes. The overriding impulse is to be in the spotlight….to be noticed, validated and important.
If her relationship is rocky, she’s the center of attention in her girl group as there’s always issues to be discussed where she’s the center of attention.
Hot bf makes her top dog in her group…hot cheater makes her the center of discussion.
Major drama means major attention
💯
Careful with that statement. They’re often interchangeable. All the women who leave the guy who loves them for the guy with more money? Both exciting, both good for their future. Standards, morals, ideals, shared goals; these are the things missing from the conversation. Until these again become the backbone of good relationships, we will continue to have none.
Totally!!!
True,Instagram Tiktok and Snapchat ruined everything. Now women have unrealistic dating standards, a fucking 4 thinks she is an 8 or 9
Life has gotten better since I started improving myself instead of trying to impress others! Hopeful that things will fall in line after I'm more confident with all aspects of my personal, financial and work life
That’s so wonderful! Happy for you ❤️
@No One Learned that the hard way, I've gained a lot more confidence in myself once I started hitting the gym consistently and focusing on my professional life. Solidifying and reinforcing a different purpose in life other than pursuing relationships has been one of the best factors to improving my mental health in a long time.
I got myself a hobby…before Covid took it away…and would avoid women like the plague as to not fall into a relationship or anything like it. I didn’t want anything to screw up the happy life. 🤣
@@memyselfi3520 feel that, definitely gotta be right with yourself before you can be right with others!
@@cascadecowboy6849 I started the journey of finding myself back in 17. It took a while but I found what I needed…I just have to get that back and I know exactly what I need to do to achieve that. If I can just stop procrastinating 🤣
In my time, there was always two things that would cause relationships and marriages to fail.
1. When a man falls in love with a woman, he falls in love with the woman she is right now. In time, that woman changes, usually doing something she knows the man won't like. Once that man knows his feelings on things are not important to her, he withdraws.
2. When a woman falls in love with a man, she falls in love with some preconceived belief about what this man will become in the future, and when he fails to live up to that vision she had of him, she loses interest in him.
Seems these days, with the advent of dating apps, all of that has now been fast-tracked so that you can skip the part about what brought people together in the first place, and go straight to swiping.... whatever direction means no. I don't use dating apps, so I never remember.
Spot on in your assessment of my last relationship
A guy I worked with who was 20 years my senior told me this when I was 21. As a 31 year old going through a divorce, I am another example of this exact situation where she changed and I didn't. Wise words that should be understood by both young men and young women to save some heartache.
@@davec1650 Change is inevitable. Most people call it "growing up", or "gaining wisdom", or "figuring things out". The biggest problem for men is that men need to understand this happens. It's true, their women are going to physically get older, one day even hitting the wall, and having their youth and beauty flounder like a flower. They are very temporary. The biggest problem for women is advertising themselves as caring and supportive without revealing the condition behind it, and their failure to accept that not all things go as planned. They could also use a lesson on not intentionally doing things men don't like, especially after they are married, when the thought behind it is, "well fine, divorce me. Let's see how that goes..." as she rips your heart out through your asshole and takes your wallet with her.
Not only that but people aren't using their true pictures of who they are everything is manipulated. People are using pictures that are 12 years old. When they were younger or in better shape and now they have filters that will do it for you, so you can take a picture at the age of 60 and filter it, so you look 30. Authenticity seems to be a dirty and bad word.
It sucks because 80% of women on dating apps are going for the top 10% of men. The rest of us get ignored.
But 80% of those woman won't get the 10% of those men, because those men take also the 10% woman, the rest of the woman have to think realistic or they will end up forever alone.
Then don't use dating apps.
I don’t know how to say this without hurting your feelings but it’s because you are just average, girls are not attracted to the average guy, they want strong men, not weak yes-men. There is a very quick solution, quick as in you’ll see dramatic results within a few days. I paid 1000$ for it but I’ll mentor you for free. 🙂
I was a weak beta male that said yes to everything and was cheated on by girls who liked jerks more than me. I went from being cheated on twice to having sex with 8 girls in total over the course of a year, and a girl even cheated on her boyfriend because she wanted to be with me. A girl who cheated on me even told me “your personality has changed, it’s like your brain became stronger” those are her words, lol! So ask me and I’ll definitely change your life, even if this seems too good to be true.
it's more like 90% of women ignore 90% of men regardless of the avenue you use rather it be dating apps or in person
Same in reverse. You're likely also ignoring all the women that are a 3-6/10 on there. What about them? Everyone wants an attractive guy/girl, thats just life. Some people have to accept they aren;t getting a 9/10 though, and that's perfectly fine. There's plenty of gold to be had inbetween.
Ehhh the reason I don't want to get married is because the man has everything to lose. His money, house, car, kids, pension plans, etc. All the men that I have talked to that have been divorced told me they lost everything. I know everything ultimately falls on me because I chose the woman I married. I just don't want to run the risk of losing everything especially with divorce rates being so high. I know there are good woman out there but it seems like the number of good woman is thinning. Maybe its all in my head but all the girls I personally know or that I grew up with seem to adopt these toxic female traits of demanding the world but bringing nothing except a bad attitude to the table. I think both men and woman are to blame for the state of dating but the court system is undoubtedly favored toward woman. So why even bother running the risk.
Women usually marry a guy with more resources, so yeah, the guy has a lot to lose if he makes a bad choice.
Im 50 never married no kids and yes I’ve heard too many horror stories myself.
Your smart. Dont end up like me I lost everythinf
Marriage is in fact highly overrated in society..
In the era where "equality" is rammed down peoples throats, the bottom line is, men are not really included in that
Idea: We're at the point where "online" life is now MORE important than real life. So "a lot" of these individuals would rather date for looks/lifestyle than for tangible connections. Essentially relationships have become transactional, and inevitably unfulfilling.
Correct.
True. Some people live their entire lives through their phones. Take it away from them and they'll cease to exist.
@@johnanderson1245 Yep... Useless brain dead rejects
Remember the internet was used as a form of escape. The 90's and early 2000's. Smartphones killed the mystery.
I got off social media. It's been freeing. I'm trying to focus on the things I love, and hoping to meet people in the process.
I am purposely single; emotionally & physically unavailable. Not as a manipulation tactic to gain women, but for self-preservation.
Good luck, everyone.
Take care, and be safe.
You are such a wise woman Courtney and a huge blessing to be on RUclips! I was blown away when you said you’re 25 years old because you are incredibly mature and have such amazing and insightful videos. Very happy that you’re bringing up these important points about dating and life in general.
I realized after repeatedly getting burned how much time, money, effort and energy I put into relationships. I’m done. it’s just not worth it when I can be investing in myself not to improve my chances with women but to enjoy life and grow my confidence and myself. They had their chance I’m over the game and my life has improved so much I can’t even believe it. It would take a lot of persuading to convince me to date again.
A guy trying to navigate the dating world today can feel about as stressed as that top button.
😂😭 I’m laughing out loud
Sir!
Lol
No doubt
@@CourtneyRyan be kind to buttons. They’re weak.
I laughed so hard at that!
Bottom line, most people today are morally bankrupt, it's truly becoming an exercise in futility to date today, have a relationship etc. All good points Courtney
Yup yup.
Morals for cash my dude
I’m 33 year old dude never married, make good money, not interested in marriage, the woman wants a divorce you lose everything you’ve worked for she takes half. Not worth it anymore, chicks ain’t Loyal anymore.
@@phobos54 that is the modern way. Traditionalism is on life support right now on its last leg
Amen, agree completely.
@@phobos54 you’re looking at the wrong place. Avoid the bar scene as much as you can.
Try book stores and groceries. I’ve only met quality women on those type pf places.
Avoid:
1. Single moms
2. Women who smoke
3. Women with tattoos
4. Women who drink alcohol
5. Women with bad relationship with their father.
6. Feminist
For all those men thinking that 99% of women are evil and the cause of all problems in life, all I have to tell you is: change yourself if you want to attract different people. Change the places you go. Change the people you hang out with. Change your behaviors when on a date. You might have new experiences.
Same goes for women.
If that were the solution, we wouldnt be having problems on such a wide scale.
@@jimbrown3436
Most people don't want to put the effort in it
Its mostly american women, if you can aford to travel you don't need them. Let them compete fro the same sociopath that abuses them, that's what they want.
My best friend I used to call him "the worlds most eligible bachelor" gave up on american women and married an asian girl. If you make over 200k it's pointless to stay in the usa if you want a relationship. American women are just for pump and dump (if thats your thing) Me, I'm turning 30 and deciding if I even want to talk to women anymore, they have become impossible.
Lack of contentment and instantaneous gratification are two huge issues with society right now. We constantly seek what we don’t have rather than enjoying what’s in front of us. One thing I struggle with is actually being present. Putting down the phone and focusing on the task at hand or engaging in conversation and really listen. Getting rid of my social media accounts was the single best thing that I’ve done to help with contentment. Found myself getting sucked into judging my accomplishments based on the staged snapshots of other people’s lives. Good video Courtney!
I'm grateful that girls like you exist. Keep it up Courtney.
Nowadays everyone is struggling to pay bills and built their dreams. It’s completely dishonest and disrespectful to feel entitled to request a fancy expensive dinner from someone.
Not everyone. I make 6 figures at 24 years old. I work my ass off
@@giseleb7807 Sure you do, sweetheart. I'm sure you work way harder than half of the country which was making $40,000 a year or less before the great resignation. Not sure what it is now, honestly.
I found a way to bypass the slave system and make 1000$+ a day. Despite this I will only buy a girl an expensive meal if she earned it and therefore deserves it.
it took me 10 years to make 6 figures. as a software engineer. I had to jump jobs a lot but also get rejected hundreds of times in interviews.. I was unemployed a lot. I could have worked harder in my 20s and probably get there quicker but I was also a martial artist training every day so I wasnt working on work skills. Then when I was working I was going to the gym every day after work. Trying to balance my life spread it out so after a job ended in 2018 I struggled to get full time work until late 2021. I was unemployed amd did contract jobs. Just a lot of BULLSHIT. I dated a bit but being unemployed just did not make me available cause I had to work on my skills more. now work is hard and I work after work to make sure I dont fall behind. So now I just dont date cause I dont want to lose my income and lose my 3k rent payments.
@@KeepItFresh02 At the end what’s it all for?
I think the important thing to understand about the whole “changing them” issue is that people can change, but they themselves need to want to change for it to work. If they want to change, then a partner can absolutely help by encouraging that change. However if they don’t want to change, it just isn’t going to work.
Yep this is exactly it.
Yup, all men want, that have the right behaviors, is that special person to encourage them on their journey.
You have to take into account for years women have been praised and encouraged to "train" their men, or put it more politely teach them proper behaviors.
I've been super single pretty much all of my 20s and throughout my 30s. Very much impossible to find a good single woman these days.
Trust me I've been in same boat for even longer, now 38, and you'll appreciate your decision as you see all the CC riders around you hit that wall at 300 mph while your life keeps improving.
@@funkfarmer7125 Yeah I'm 35. Life is good, not complaining at all. I just don't want any of my nieces ending up on stripper poles.
@@funkfarmer7125 im 40 and have been single for 20 years with no kids. I improve my life daily though. Would be lying if i said i enjoy being single though.
It's only impossible to find a good woman if you don't flirt with them and ask them out. There are plenty of good women out there
@@Hellenicheavymetal Pro tip don't seek enjoy, instead seek inner peace, contentment, fulfilment.
The more I listen to your talks the more I realize how fragile, insecure, and confusing relationships can be, and when they come to an end, naturally or unnaturally, it can be extremely painful. For some people, just having someone there is enough for them, but for others something as small as a shift in perspective can throw a wrench into the entire relationship. I realize at the core of these relationships is give and take when that comes to an end the relationship dies, which means most relationships are based on two people using each other, they have nothing to do with actual love and care.
I used to think like this too. But please don't.. I am a girl and i never thought her audience is 95% men lmao but i always applied her advice to myself. I find that it's just this generation where I have no idea how, but i look at my fellow 20's and all i can see is people just hooking up, using eachother, 50/50 and i am over here just thinking after many failed dates; ''You know what, i think no one has morals or values anymore... I am good grinding on my own and have a career till i find the right man. In the meantime imma focus on myself." I don't get how sleeping around is so so casual these days??? for both genders??? Like where did the intimacy go??? What about true love??? Or am i living in a fantasy world in my head? It's hard to stay positive in this dating scene... I am just glad I can see my parents grow old together and really caring for eachother. That definitely gives me hope. So I hope you have some positive couples around you who give you hope. I know my parents definitely do for me :)
"Winter is coming."
- Kevin Samuels
"dark winter" is coming and samuels is cashing in on lots of $$$ making content making fun of women and lost men enjoying the content like women enjoying daytime drama tv shows LOOL
What does that even mean?
😂😂
@@justinhenry5772 Much harder times are coming. The government is up to it's neck in debt paying people to do nothing.
@@justinhenry5772 women growing even angrier as so many men check out of the dating scene altogether that unless they’re literally the best of the best they get no interest from any men. The only men left will be a)the true HVM that meet all these incredible standards; b) the pickup artists. They will only go for the very young, very attractive, very AGREEABLE women. The rest of the women will be home alone.
Okay so all of these are surface issues that are basically irrelevant.
1. Men aren't afraid of commitment. They're afraid of getting financially raped by the family court system. Afterall women initiate 80% of divorces.
2. Due to feminism we've lost all our social rules that has kept American monogamy in place. As such women have fallen into hookup culture. 80% of men these days aren't dating or hooking up due the the Paretto Distribution (10-20% of men get 80% of the women).
1. Prenup - if either gets butt hurt, don't marry that person.
2. Yeah, I agree, the whole free sex thing is a double edged sword. I obviously don't agree women should be judged for their sex life, but it spiraled into hook up culture that took as much benefits as it gave us - if not more.
I also want to add to that point about men being afraid of commitment. I honestly don’t believe men are that much more afraid of commitment than women. The reason for the disparity and confusion is women filter very strongly ahead of time who they will even give any time/sex/commitment to from the very first interaction/date/etc. Men do not. Men allow anybody in almost indiscriminately at the beginning, pretty much thinking about it casually mostly revolving around sex, but honestly some companionship as well.
This of course allows a lot of women to be with men who if the men filtered the way women did and were honest with themselves whether they really liked her including personality and looks, they would not be able to get. After they meet, go on a date, have sex, etc., he either really likes her and like you hear on TikTok, she’ll know it. I don’t care how much of a fboy he is, when a man really likes a woman, it hits different and he’ll at the very least want to make it official to not lose her, maybe if he’s read some stuff about playing hard to get might do something here or there, but that’s it, otherwise he’ll really be into her, want to take her out, etc. If he doesn’t, she falls into the next category.
The other much more likely to happen situation, which is what usually happens and I’ll explain why, is it usually turns into nothing if he really didn’t like her where he never calls her again after a time or two, or if she seems at least OK and he subconsciously perceives it as the best/easiest/no drama option of someone he can continue to casually date for sex/companionship it turns into a situationship (at least how he perceives it) or fwb, and he’s just kind of going along until the day she asks for commitment or something similar an then he actually has to do the filtering women usually do at the beginning where they’re picky and they guy is like “I actually don’t really like her, heck, I’m not even that attracted to her and she has these views which I’ve been ignoring cause it wasn’t any of my business, but now I have to take a good look to see if we’re compatible and whether I see a future”, and usually it’s no because no different than a random man approaching a woman and let’s say they talk for a bit right there, the chances that she’ll see them as a fit both physically and personality wise are very small
💯
Great analysis 👍🏽
Aye, I have to pay child support for 4 kids because it was easier for my ex to go on Tinder and hook up instead of working on our issues and moving forward and building a stronger relationship, Cest la vie
I have been single for five years. Going on two years since I've been on a date. Re-entering the modern dating world is a pretty intimidating task. You're channel is very informative. Thank you, Courtney. Wish me luck!
There's no sympathy for women who choose players. Especially when they get pregnant over a one night stand or a terrible relationship. That is a point of no return that determines whether a woman is damaged goods for life or not.
I would rather focus on myself so I can get myself a higher quality woman.
Avoid single moms like a plague. That’s my motto in life.
The women who regularly choose players are generally worse players themselves than the men they date. Trust me, you don't want to be with them. It's a miserable roller coaster of disrespect and emotional manipulation.
Like Courtney always says, play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
@@ryanbarker3978 those are women that you can easily keep for fun, with them on board, because of everything you just said. If you so desire. If looking for love then yes avoid at all costs. Some are truly good people who have made mistakes, haven’t we all, but there are challenges and you must embrace them. A lot to ask for someone, without even addressing all the potential character flaws that such an outcome begs.
@@johnmasonthethird4903 I agree. If you're just looking to meet girls casually and hook up with no strings attached girls like that are fine. That only really works for 1-3 dates max and then on to the next girl. Women like this don't respect men who try to take them seriously.
Regarding your point about people in this lifestyle being truly good and making mistakes: I'm sorry but this is hard for me to get behind. I don't view promiscuity as evil, but I do view it as a conscious choice.
One of the largest problems on the modern dating market is a significant population of women who live a promiscuous lifestyle but want to pretend they are just holding out for Mr. Perfect: The player they're attracted to who also treats them the same as all of the 'nice guys' they friend zoned. This unicorn will never exist because they are complete opposites. All girls who are living in this narrative are doing is wasting everyone's time including their own. I don't think there's anything wrong with hook up culture even if it isn't for me, but if you can't be genuine to yourself and others about your own intentions, you shouldn't be dating.
Ok incel
It's a bizarre in-between era. Some women want the whole princess treatment and others think that holding the door open for them is an insult to their independence. And in both cases, you usually get written off after a single mistake in either direction. You were supposed to just know, after all.
I'm really happy to see women entering a new, empowered era. But with great power comes great responsibility. And in this case, the responsibility is to ACTUALLY be communicative and sane. You can do it, ladies. I believe in you.
Western society will end because women have been voting. I dont believe.
I can sum up every relationship I've had with a woman in eight words. Damned if you do damned if you don't. You're always at fault
There's nothing new about it. Women have been empowered for a very long time. Call it Opportunistic Feminism. As long as these women gain advantages from equality and being Feminists, they are all about it. But the minute those opportunities vanish, they want to play "the little woman", and the men should do this and the men should pay for that. Have no part of it.
@@Thecabalsgimp In a nutshell
I am a girl and i never thought her audience is 95% men lmao but i always applied her advice to myself. But you're right. I find that it's just this generation where I have no idea how, but i look at my fellow 20's and all i can see is people just hooking up, using eachother, 50/50 and i am over here just thinking after many failed dates; ''You know what, i think no one has morals or values anymore... I am good grinding on my own and have a career till i find the right man. In the meantime imma focus on myself." I don't get how sleeping around is so so casual these days??? for both genders??? Like where did the intimacy go??? What about true love??? Or am i living in a fantasy world in my head? It's hard to stay positive in this dating scene... I am just glad I can see my parents grow old together and really caring for eachother. That definitely gives me hope.
Courtney "The Truth" Ryan ❤. Dating nowadays is so different and not in a good way
Hi John! 😊 it’s definitely tough and I’m glad I don’t have to do it lol
@@CourtneyRyan Definitely facts Courtney 😊. Great video and stay awesome
@@CourtneyRyan Do what? Asking commitment from hot guys?! It can burn You eventually, I agree.
@@neboyshanicolich761 I mean dating haha I’m in a relationship so I’m glad I’m not out on the dating market anymore 😂
Well done Courtney. I watched a couple of your early videos. As an older single I can definitely see that you, your teaching, and your communication skills have matured. Kudos!
Why modern dating sucks is because of feminism and the whole "you go girl" mentality women are raised to have.
Most men would like to commit to a women, we want to feel like we are able to provide and protect but with most women keeping options open even when in relationship that's when the trust in women leaves.
Ultimately it all boils down to biological reproductive imperative. it's easy for a woman to pass on her genes all she has to do is open her legs, but its hard for a man. he has to work to build that attraction or provide something in return for sex. that's why men are praised for having lots of sexual experiences but women are shamed because it's hard work for most men to have sex, while it's easy AF for women to have sex.
🤦... A *womAn
Exactly, 100% . Women don't have to deal with the nonsense
I think you are generalising your own bad experience a bit.
There's 1 easy way to solve a woman's dating problems- lower standards and choose just a nice guy instead of looking for Mr. Charming. But even if they try, it never works so it's like a dead-end. And some girls even on social media are starting to mention with surprise that there're guys who just live life, do their stuff, and don't bother dating.
A lot of them are convinced that men have such a need for women that they can't really process the idea of a man not even trying to get with somebody
I am one of those guys who doesn't date. It is unfortunate for the ladies as I have the means to offer them a princess lifestyle.
Nice guys and good men don’t get them hot the way the sociopaths do. Trouble is, she can’t live with sociopaths and “committing” to one invariably leads to disaster
Men have been pedestalizing women for far too long, resulting in women having an unrealistic checklist when it comes to dating. Online dating did the rest, with ladies believing they're hot because every swipe turns out to be a match. If you believe you're hot because you've got matches on Tinder, it's like believing you're Masterchef because you've opened a can of tuna to a bunch of hungry cats. Guys, if she plays games she isn't worthy of your time. Girls, if a guy lets you play games or plays games himself, he isn't worthy of your time.
I am a girl and i never thought her audience is 95% men lmao but i always applied her advice to myself. But you're right. I find that it's just this generation where I have no idea how, but i look at my fellow 20's and all i can see is people just hooking up, using eachother, 50/50 and i am over here just thinking after many failed dates; ''You know what, i think no one has morals or values anymore... I am good grinding on my own and have a career till i find the right man. In the meantime imma focus on myself." I don't get how sleeping around is so so casual these days??? for both genders??? Like where did the intimacy go??? What about true love??? Or am i living in a fantasy world in my head? It's hard to stay positive in this dating scene... I am just glad I can see my parents grow old together and really caring for eachother. That definitely gives me hope. But the guys commenting definitely gives me hope as well, that there are still great man out there, where can I find you guys ? 😭
@@fizahaque It's a pity that I live in Europe, otherwise I'd take you out for a coffee :)) (from the way you write you're probably based in the US). Most generally, don't despair because there are tons of great guys out there. The modern narrative is that girls are angels and guys are evil, but having spent quite sometime on earth by now, I guarantee you that the evil ones are carefully selected by the girls who complain about them. The ability to identify a good partner is as important as (if not more)being a decent human. Watch out for red flags, don't ignore them believing that "I am sure I can change him"
@@giveover7552 Hahaha well that’s very very sweet. I would be down for coffee for sure and lucky for you, I actually live in Europe. The Netherlands to be precise :) from which country are you from? Anyway, I think my keyboard is doing it’s little US thing here 😂 The part about evil ones and good ones. Trust me, I know EXACTLY where you’re coming from. Growing up I always had girls who were either backstabbers. Or jealous of me but being fake so they could reciprocate everything I did. Needless to say, I grew up having more casual talks with guys and gaining knowledge from them compared to girls. I have a girl best friend, but apart from her and my mother, I barely trust girls nowadays. Nor guys if I’m being honest haha. I’m friendly with many but I only see a few as my close ones. Anyway, I definitely know that I always see the good in people. I’m very logical and practical so I know for a fact I don’t think I can change anyone so I just take every single thing at face value. But because I normalise my thinking of “If I do this, it must be normal for them too” showed how that exact thinking made me lose myself in a relationship where I learned that people do make empty promises. Nonetheless, both of us played a role in the breakup of course and I learned my lessons so I’m just focusing on becoming the best version of myself. Gradually. But I will get there. Lots of love ! 😊
@@fizahaque you gotta be kidding me! I also live in the Netherlands, in Eindhoven. Originally I am Italian, although I left my country long ago. I'll definitely take you out for a coffee, let me know where u r based and we can arrange it! :)) Ps: i don't bite, unless it's pizza 🍕 LOL
@@giveover7552 OMG No freaking way 😂 I'm based in Arnhem haha. Hopefully you have a iPhone so you can see the numbers haha
Nope, het werkt niet haha is wss tegen hun reglement in. Anders had ik men nummer gegeven. Andere platforms kan ik ook niet in men berichtje zetten.
It's clear the struggles women face. 1. Not enough Chads for each of them to have their own. 2. Women enjoy emotional turmoil because it makes them feel productive.
guys can work into the top 10%. It is not only looks.
1. “Chaddiction”
2. “Womanger/Womangst”
Agree and will add: 3. The few ones that manage to get a Chad soon discover that Chad won't committ, won't invest in them, won't treat them like they wish he would... because Chad is a jerk and Chad has options (many).
@@drimhighify Chad isn’t necessarily a jerk, he’s responding to the nature around him. It’s an ancient truth that sex is an insatiable desire that breeds on itself, especially for men. Once tasted it’s tough to release, and the Chad’s are at a constant roller coaster of sexual experiences and emotional distress, usually brought upon by the desperation of the women he involves himself with. Its probably akin to sleepwalking. Rattling between sexual relationships, unable to grasp what his innate natural senses are telling him as to who would be a good partner (another discussion about the difference between “hot” and “beautiful”, detailed by Bret Weinstein on joe rogan once if curious). The culture promotes hotness over beauty that obscures signals men used to rely on. The Chad’s are on a signal overload and tend to fall into a pattern of sustainable easy sex without a shred of commitment as easily and natural as water follows gravity. They can absolutely be jerks, to be sure, but there’s no doubt the forces of biology and culture have significant and dire impact.
@@johnmasonthethird4903 I am a girl and I find that it's just this generation where I have no idea how, but i look at my fellow 20's and all i can see is people just hooking up, using eachother, 50/50 and i am over here just thinking after many failed dates; ''You know what, i think no one has morals or values anymore... I am good grinding on my own and have a career till i find the right man. In the meantime imma focus on myself." I don't get how sleeping around is so so casual these days??? for both genders??? Like where did the intimacy go??? What about true love??? Or am i living in a fantasy world in my head? It's hard to stay positive in this dating scene... I am just glad I can see my parents grow old together and really caring for eachother. That definitely gives me hope.
I think it’s just harder to meet people nowadays, a lot of people are on edge and not always receptive to meeting someone new, and then there’s always the possibility that even if you get to know someone, you might not like them or align your values with them. And then the whole process starts over again and it can get exhausting. Even going thru that process only a few times is demoralizing if you have an introverted personality
The streets are cold. Western culture is changing. I got a passport and traveled the world. Women in Asian countries ease my dating stress. I can now see myself getting married and having children. I think the mentality of western cultured women is what increases my anxiety of dating. Western women have a "want" mentality. Asian women seem to have a "give" mentality.
It's rather a "take" than "want" mentality I suspect.
You’re in for a reality check because they want a green card and for you to send a lot of money back to support their extended family.
Way ahead of you my friend - married a girl from east Asia. 20 years later she has been my best friend and rock during some tough times. Always faithful. We have two fine teenage sons (13 + 15), a large farm, plus 2 vacation properties. Life is good.
PS: Dated 8 western girls and every one of them was unfaithful, and two were crazy.
@@TuffLuv1984 That's a want & take attitude...
And having mixed kids... Pretty selfish
There’s a lot of hurt and disappointment that is heavy baggage for a lot of people. It’s so difficult to trust someone again. I wonder if it ever can be overcome.
Western society has a crisis of abundance. How ironic that in order to find fulfillment you must refrain and not indulge.
Try remodeling a house. Just the choice of tile alone can drive one absolutely nuts!
it appears to be an abundance of crap, which really isn't abundance.
@@bobleglob162 Good comment sir!
This is very true, if you go to poorer countries, you also find a lot more traditional men and women
The “too many option” idea is an interesting point. It makes sense how people are not as confident/happy with their choices when too many options are available. A person may think there was a better option. So, I can see how this is problematic in dating. However, I’d like to present an additional idea.
As a culture, we are encouraged or taught to “climb the mountain,” “move up,” “continually do better,” etc. The whole idea would be for me to continually improve my current situation. Even when I reach the metaphorical “summit,” then the next thought is “what’s next.” In my experience, this is encouraged in almost all aspects of life, except when it comes to dating.
It seems as though if I find the “right” person, then I am almost expected to “settle down” or commit. But, all the while I’ve been creating the habit of finding the right person - which means that when someone is not “right,” then we break up and I find someone “more right,” or “better.”
I’m not trying to say that casual relationships are ok and I’m not trying to encourage casual dating. However, when there are too many options and people have developed a habit of finding someone “more right,” it can be difficult to end a habit and “settle down.” The difficulty can be deciding when is someone “right enough,” especially since no one is perfect.
If you’re read this far, than I thank you for your time.
If you have additional time, I would be interested to hear your thoughts on this idea.
I agree wholeheartedly with what you said. I actually condone and live a life with concurrent casual relationships. They know not about each other personally but they know what I do and that they aren’t going to change it. It’s interesting that women have put up with it as long as they have, some of them for years, and always lament about their dating life having nobody “good” available. They want monogamy but aren’t willing unless it’s someone who meets their standards, which are exceptionally high compared to the reality. Not necessarily high compared to their dating pool, but in comparison to all men, in that many more women exist with high standards than men exist that meet those standards.
I hope one day feminisms true reckoning will arrive and they’ll wake up to the ridiculous hierarchy they created amongst themselves, and reject it. They really control the entire dating scene but freely give it up because they’re so competitive. Idk, it’s something else to witness compared to stories of dating in previous generations.
Really love the two color shirts.
Thank you!!
Yes where did you get the shirt Courtney?
Its a shame this channel is watched by primarily men, if women watched this channel and realized that men want a woman who is like C. R. and changed accordingly, everyone would be married up in short order.
CR would have to move to Tik Tok and dance around like a circus freak while she was talking to get more female views.
@@dr.dealgood2690 🤣😂😭😥😢😪
Grass isnt always greener on the other side. I had a ex break up for that reason. To tell me a month later he made a mistake. But I didn't take him back
It's like this Courtney, people need that human touch for their mental and even physical health, but whether it's Mother Nature, Father Time, or God, they made it so people don't really really get along or like each other. They created humans for their entertainment! ;-)
Sounds like you may be justifying burning good girls. A lot of the problem is people are rebelling against GOD, mother nature, physiology and or psychology.
The devil himself has an agenda for this generation to destroy it
Agreed and agreed
The planet Earth is God's zoo. God's creation of humans is a scientific experiment. God did not create people with the intention that they would get along with each other as well as possible. God periodically improves the quality of life for humans and monitors how human behavior changes with better living conditions.
To Shaun Mayhew and David Rivas; neither one of you two dips**ts have sense of humors. Your comments give yourselves away as being humorless bores.
Honestly I’ve gave up trying to date! I always find the more effort you try and put in the worse it gets, too many games involved unfortunately
It is like the movie wargames. The best move, is not to play!
Me too. I feel this will be the next "normal": Most people needing to adapt to live happy, solitary lives because of how well we have performed to virtualize everything.
Courtney ~ You do wonderful videos; the younger generation really needs this. Thank you for what you do. You are a beautiful soul...
the other problem is the dating coaches. you're the only coach of sorts that holds both sides accountaable. most dating coaches follow this script:
dating coaches for men - how to improve yourself, court women, etc.
dating coaches for women - how to filter out toxic men and not waste time
in other words, the women are seen as not the problem and just have to filter out bad guys. this was one of the driving forces for redpill channels. having women see themselves as "the prize"
Based. People dont talk about how women should be responsible, and how they should treat their man.
Dating coaches for men don't teach men how to 'court' women. Courting is a thing of the very distant past. They teach them how to manipulate them.
Women filtering out toxic prospects does not translate to them considering themselves as a prize.
Really skewed comments here.
@@Dasher49225 that's accurate
@@wyleecoyotee4252 Numerous channels of post walls teach juniors how to seek sugar daddies and simps to give away money for nothing
They bring nothing to the table other than a bad attitude.
There has never been a time in history where people have had as much contact with the opposite gender as now yet have so little successful relationships
Very well said.
Thanks man
@Tblazer lmaooo Disney movies I’m WALL·E she’s EVEAA
Thank you for this level-headed video. Your points were clear and very understandable. Both sides have to come to reality and set realistic standards for themselves and do what's best for the sake of the relationship and not a fantasy ideal.
1) insatiable curiosity
2) no effort
3) unrealistic standards
4) is there something better?
5) i can change him
💪💪
If a girl cares about you she won’t need to change anything about you.
I believe one of the major reasons why the dating market is in the toilet is because people are lacking authenticity and not being true to who they really are. People are dating other people who are being fake or not genuine, or those same people aren't being as real and true to themselves as they should be and are dating people who they know don't fit what they're looking for and it has created a huge pool of chaos and confusion. Be real with yourself and what you desire in a partner and don't date people who don't fit it out of some fear of not bring able to get what you want.
I love the point about distinguishing between standards (must haves) and preferences (nice to haves)!
This channel, along with The Roommates, helped me recalibrate in this regard for the better.
Hope this message/video is forwarded to more women.
I am a girl and i never thought her audience is 95% men lmao but i always applied her advice to myself. But you're right. I find that it's just this generation where I have no idea how, but i look at my fellow 20's and all i can see is people just hooking up, using eachother, 50/50 and i am over here just thinking after many failed dates; ''You know what, i think no one has morals or values anymore... I am good grinding on my own and have a career till i find the right man. In the meantime imma focus on myself." I don't get how sleeping around is so so casual these days??? for both genders??? Like where did the intimacy go??? What about true love??? Or am i living in a fantasy world in my head? It's hard to stay positive in this dating scene... I am just glad I can see my parents grow old together and really caring for eachother. That definitely gives me hope.
I'll point something out Courtney a big problem with men not committing nowadays. For one thing the courts heavily favor women if all goes wrong and 80% of divorces are initiated by women. But here's another glaring issue.....Women today want to get married, but they don't wanna be wives. They will expect men to always be traditional while absolving themselves of traditional responsibilities. One example is keeping your pool of options open when a you are already in a relationship.
You're so right about the wrong choice in partners reflecting some hidden trauma or flaw inside. Very underrated point.
You may not be reaching many women in the population of your channel, but the women that are listening also can listen to this content and pass these jewels of info along to their single friends as well ☺️❤️
I stopped wanting to be with anybody after my last relationship, zero accountability and completely relied on me to make her happy... Lost myself trying to meet her need's...now that it's over... Im loving the stress free life.
When women confuse their standards with their preferences, everyone loses. Men have no value anymore. So many women are below standard, but believe they are perfect 10s.
Courtney you are definitely marriage material. Did Teddy propose yet?
Correct. Most women believe the Chad that smashes them will eventually marry them.....ummmmm nope. They also believe they deserve Chad so anything less disgusts them.
@@johngalt6838 facts
FACTS
That is an interesting point she brought up about women's standards vs preferences. When women strictly adhere to their "standards" they miss out on a lot of great guys who may not be hot or rich but treat them well. The "hot" guys are the ones who do the hookup thing cause they know they can.
@@tonii5690
You're under the assumption that the remaining 'not hot or rich' guys embody all positive attributes.
That's just not the case. Many of the regular guys are manipulative vengeful creeps.
as a 19 yo male, you just made my day. God bless, stay safe and I love your channel :)
I find myself agreeing with everything this woman says! Are you inside my head Courtney? These are traditional old school values which have sadly fallen by the wayside. Nice to hear a coach with integrity.
Yes it would be great if you did a video on casual v commitment.
Same here
She is so right
I am a girl but i struggle with this too, i can't seem to find like minden people who still have traditional values... I find that it's just this generation where I have no idea how, but i look at my fellow 20's and all i can see is people just hooking up, using eachother, 50/50 and i am over here just thinking after many failed dates; ''You know what, i think no one has morals or values anymore... I am good grinding on my own and have a career till i find the right man. In the meantime imma focus on myself." I don't get how sleeping around is so so casual these days??? for both genders??? Like where did the intimacy go??? What about true love??? Or am i living in a fantasy world in my head? It's hard to stay positive in this dating scene... I am just glad I can see my parents grow old together and really caring for eachother. That definitely gives me hope...
I thought this was a vey well thought out, intelligent guide to successful dating. Years ago it was different.. people were more sociable because you had to be. You saw what a person was like well before you asked them out. There was true attraction there that was felt throughout your entire body. I remember watching girls from across the room at a bar or party.. listening to their voice, how they interacted with their friends, how they move when they're dancing. I knew she was special far beyond what a picture could tell me. My heart would start beating faster because I knew I had to talk to her. Those are very intense and difficult moments, but if you wait for it and pick the right time to approach her, you could be creating a very special memory for the both of you.
good solid vid, touched on everything well. With life I find sometimes the universe won`t give you the next thing as easily until you master where you are already are or thankful for what you currently have. Like most things in life its a delicate balance of learning to walk the line well. as confidence can easily turn to arrogance. love into fear, genius into insanity or anything that borders each other if not properly balanced.
Kind, compassionate and a hard worker... these angels exists?
Nobody can change a person, they might inspire them but people don't necessarily change, they typically can only improve or regress
Yep, no one can change a person. That person needs to change themselves.
I’ve been working on myself a lot and figuring things out and yes dating apps are stressful and I don’t really like it but if I want to meet someone it’s a hurdle to get over
I kid you not. I had this conversation with a friend about 6 years ago when she asked me to look over her dating profile. Back then I thought it was ludicrous but it is the norm today. She actually said that they HAD to like X football team and X alternative band and to not waste her time if they didn't because those were important to her. I asked if she was willing to change it to just liking football and alternative music because it was really limiting her choices and made her look inflexible. She said that she was not going to lower her standards and was not going to waste her time with men who did not meet them. 😐
I really thought it was just delusional thinking back then and now realize it was already well on the way to becoming the norm.
People are not products that you order custom made to your desires. You look for certain good qualities and then build up from there.
Women like that are doing the eligible bachelors a big favor. She is telling them in no uncertain terms not to waste their time with her. Too bad some men are too dumb to listen.
Too many people misinterpret the "build up" part too. It's not a backdoor to your previous standards. People aren't projects to mold into your perfect image of an ideal partner either. Build up the relationships intimacy, acceptance, and understanding; not the person.
I respect the fact that you have a channel like you do . It probably helps alot of younger guys out . It's difficult for us older guys too . Time is a interesting animal . It helps , heals.. is not always kind . You find that you start looking at things without someone in your life .You look at moving on with the hope of being able to carry out your goals . This is done one foot in front of the other . Before you know it starts happening. I used to be one of these younger guys . Now I look forward to enjoying things more . I no longer care about chasing women .
The date apps is all trash, most information are lies or misleading .
I don’t use anymore because is just wrong way to start something and I not even talking about the pictures.
Do you know or suggest some app?
I change and adapt , for example, I don’t drive nobody anymore, if she accepted I just give the time and place.
Last time was really bad
She was not fun, was aggressive, rude.
Take her home was hell , but I could not find in me sending her back on a taxicab .
Only funny thing was the explanation she demanded for the fact I did not try anything after taking her to her doorstep.
But again, I don’t want to be rude, just be sure she was safe and out of my hands.
Thanks Courtney - nice content and lots of common sense about the crazy world of dating. Your input is appreciated and makes me aware that it isn’t just my thinking!
The combination of hypergamy, and the fallacy of choice…. Along with the era of online dating, has destroyed the dating dynamic. As somebody who’s done well on both sides of the fence I can see it clear as day.
Perfect comment.
Too true. The "natural" or "normal" way of human relationships is broken beyond repair. It will become worse in the next years. Virtuality has already won, and as it continues its expansion, more isolation, unhappiness and illnesses will follow.
Hello Courtney: On the subject of changing people, years ago, I heard this saying, "After marriage people do change, they get worse." Have a lovely day.
Like my mom always said, the quicker you rush into something the quicker it ends
For sure!
Most times true. Not for my parents though. Right after they met they started dating and got married fairly quickly. 40 years later still married.
@@Hellenicheavymetal theres one of those times where people got married instantly and it surprisingly worked out
Courtney, once again (duh), your intellectual maturity is impressive and mesmerizing. We need more similar women like this out there. I only hope that the women that show up here follow your suggestions. IMO, social media has bastardized the collective thinking of the masses to errantly believe their lives need to keep up/compare to everyone else’s highlight/postcard reel of “reality.” This in turn, has produced all of the freaking entitlement so prevalent now. This makes it even more difficult for men to avoid being labeled as creeps, lecherous or stalkers, simply from giving a compliment.
Men, please don't go around putting in effort. Do you think Chad is putting in any effort to his roster?
Think of your relationship like it's a house. People who invest in maintaining their house will have a lovely home that increases in value. Otherwise, the house breaks down and becomes an uninhabitable eyesore.
You don't have to be an indentured servant. Just take pride in maintaining what's yours.
@@bros4654 What's "yours" will be second hand at best and severely reduced in value. Maintain it all you want, but the fella who had it first and fucked it into the bin is laughing at you with all his friends.
You’re a 2 he’s a 10… why would you expect the same results?
Really?
You think that Chad doesn't put any effort into his appearance, social skills, confidence or lifestyle?
That he can do nothing, stay at home spending all day online and women just fall into his lap?
@@AY-vi2ld It's not a lack of effort, it's a significantly higher return on his effort. At least, that's what I would understand the argument to be.
I think you touch on a lot of good points. The one that stuck out to me the most was confusing standards with preferences. This is something that I notice a lot with my friends and coworkers. It’s something I used to be guilty of as well. Now I don’t understand how a man being below 6’ whatever is a deal breaker. Or if they don’t like the same music it’s a no go. I think shared values and maturity trump if he can reach a tall shelf or not. They make step ladders for a reason 😆 In all honesty though, I feel like this has become such a complicated issue, but I think you did a very good job of highlighting and touching on the main issues surrounding dating today. Great content!
From an older guy to the younger guys out there - Have women as friends. Women can make really good friends especially for men. But avoid dating or romantic entanglements with them. Focus on improving yourself and your career. Don't waste your time and energy wanting, chasing, or pursuing. And frankly if you don't want to have children, there is absolutely no reason to ever get married.
I would add to be careful not to fall into being her friend that she gets favors from (e.g., fixing her car, driving her places, other favors, etc.). Otherwise, she gets the boyfriend experience without you getting the girlfriend experience.
@@man_of_iron Agreed. When I said friends, I meant a man should treat her as he would his other male friends. No in between grey areas.
Yep, yep, yep. Great points. One of the things I try to impress upon my dude friends is exactly what you mentioned with the "too many options" point. That really affects your decisions and your happiness with your decisions, at least for most people. And women just have a much easier time finding "someone" than guys do. Part of the issue is that almost no one wants to be single. So women can just look around and point at the guy they like best and bam, something starts happening. But, the "best guy at the time" isn't the same thing as "someone you actually connect with and admire."
I was disappointed to not see polarizing political/cultural environment as one of the issues in dating. For example, I was with my kids and saw a single mom sitting at a nearby table at a restaurant I often go to and know the staff well. The waitress, knowing I too was single, pointed her out to me and encouraged me to go talk to her. Instead, I attempted to anonymously pay for her meal, I discreetly asked the waitress for her bill and paid it in full. Before I could get my kids rounded up to leave, she found out from the waitress (trying to play matchmaker) that I paid her bill. She came over and flipped out. She angrily told me, "You didn't have to do that! I can take care of myself!"
I calmly replied, "I know I didn't have to do that, I just thought it would be nice." gathered my things and children and left. My honest intent was seeing a fellow single parent, understanding the struggles and challenges with raising kids alone, and wanting to just do something nice. In today's crazy world, simple acts of (almost anonymous) kindness spark outrage and cause insult...the lens of dating just amplifies this dynamic 100x.
I am a middle age guy who is trying to date again after 23 successful years of marriage (widowed) and your videos are extremely insightful into today's dating scene, which is a mess IMO. Your comment about why emotionally unavailable women go after emotionally unavailable men is spot on. I just experienced this myself with someone who has never had a healthy long term relationship, going back to how she interacted with her own father (I really shouldn't have ignored the red flags and kept it casual, but we got along great and had an awesome time together until she wanted to try to have a bf/gf relationship which is when it fell apart). A lot of single women in my age group seem to be bitter and/or damaged with massive trust issues and who use their desire for independence as a reason for not being able to be vulnerable. I am seriously thinking about trying to date someone significantly younger than me just to try and find someone who hasn't been wrecked, but that brings an entirely whole different set of issues, especially if they want kids (sorry, I have two who are nearly functional adults and I am done raising children). Thanks for doing what you do and keep up the great work!
I find myself so bitter and frustrated sometimes because of all these issues. There is a movement going on right now where some men are advocating that we pass on fighting the next major war in response to all of the societal problems. I'll admit, I wake up somedays and agree with them; why would I die for this?
I feel that way too most days.
You know, there is a theory that monogamous societies were formed by the elites to give ordinary men motivation to work and fight in wars and have something to actually defend, so it’s a pretty sensible idea.
I want to create a deadly virus that kills only men just so women can understand the loneliness and what men do for women who treat us like disposable trash.
Courtney, you are on key with the statements you make about men and women. I have to say that a couple is nothing without being friends. Being friends is the foundation to every relationship, romantic or farther. Men and women want to be able to rely on on another as well as be independent. Relationships take work from both, not just one. Relationships are about sharing life experiences and growing together as a couple.
I have to say through my wife, she did change me for the better. Without her, I'd be lost in a bad focus on life. My wife was an amazing woman.
I only wish there was more time for her to grow.
Alot of delusion, alot of social manipulation in women. On the brighter side; more guys are saving lots of money, investing in themselves, taking care of their health on their own time, lots of therapy breakthroughs. Men, keep working...👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Hi Courtney, I love your channel and have been following you for some time. It's refreshing to hear a woman's point of view when it comes to dating and how to navigate dating in modern times. I am a woman and I agree with you about women taking accountability for the actions and choices they make dating men. I had to step back and go to therapy myself to understand why I am triggered in a relationship with the men I've dated and how to keep myself accountable. I'm still a work in progress, but I am glad I remove some of my toxic ways and learn how to approach a situation in a healthy way. BTW I am a Clevelander as well! :)
very good points here. Good advice is sometimes hard to hear but necessary to listen to. A lot of these points apply beyond dating to life itself.
Online dating has built a wall of safety for women , or confort, but actually asking someone out and them accepting in modern times… difficult
Not only online dating, just go out there in the real world and see how many women would actually start up a convo or ask for your number even less than online probably.
Dude, women have almost NEVER approached men and given out numbers. You have to go for it yourself. The worst thing that happens if you don't act like an idiot, is that she politely declines.
You haven’t tried.
You know how I know?
Because women are DYING to be asked out and you’re living in a goofy internet bubble.
Go out and ask! It’s super easy right now
Most women are in “yes mode” right now because they’re so frustrated with online bullshit
@@zack183 you don’t have to act like an idiot. Women just love something unique. Say something that’s not “hey you’re cute.” Don’t ask a question. Make a comment or observation then maybe exaggerate it. Something like that.
@@basstheangelo yep, just gotta learn how to talk to people, and also put yourself in the woman's shoes... she's just another human like you are. She likes people and talking too. She isn't going to transform into a dragon and eat you if you say something that isn't perfect.
This is a great video. I think these issues apply to so many men as well. People fail to see things for what they are. They live in false realities. Also, I think it's this way in large part because men have become so weak. For example I have about 3-5 girls on Instagram every week ask me to send them money and gift cards. Ummmm, no. That leads me to think that a lot of weak men begging for attention from them do send them money. Weak men have created these dating problems in large part and for the stronger ones, it really sucks.
Yep. I have abandonned dating, as many fellow men.
It’s tough I imagine!
Great point - standards v. Preferences. Great way to put it...people need to let preferences go and give those who match their standards a chance.
I’ve seen so many men in different comment sections being upset at women when they say I only do dinner dates on the first date.
And as a man myself I think to myself why are you so mad at her, if that’s what she want’s to do it’s okay, just as much it is okay for you to only do coffee dates.
Why do you care that much? Just don’t date those women if you don’t want to, it doesn’t make sense to me to be that angry at someone having a preference.
Some people should cool down a couple of minutes before they answer or even better don’t answer at all.
well, consider what that "preference" could possibly mean: the woman feels entitled to that free meal simply because she has deigned to be in the presence of this lowly male, this her test to see if a man is serious while she still retains the right to reject him on a whim, or it could mean she just wants free food. All three of these are selfish reasons. Insisting on a dinner date is fine if she's willing to split the tab or pay all of it. Otherwise it's clear she doesn't respect him to begin with and if this is the majority of women men are running into, I would be pissed too. And once i got over the anger, I'd say, "fvck it, I'm out."
I’m not going to answer or reply to your comment.....lol
Men are tired of being used for "foodie" dates and women wanting a free expensive meal when they have no interest in him.
You know, women literally save simps number in their phone with the name "free food" so it doesnt suprise me some of them get mad🤣
"Just don't date those women" ok those are literally the only dates I've gotten so I'm agreeing and giving up. I'll never approach another women or ask them out. They can ether ask me or not. I don't care anymore.
women have priced themselves to high, it's not worth it.
On overwhelming choice-I used to do do demos at Costco. I found that when I simplified my displays for the customers as much as possible for the customers, I sold more. The principle absolutely works. #simplify
“There a lot of women out there that are wifey material.” Citation needed. Completely disagree. Almost zero women bring feminine personalities to the table. See all Kevin Samuels videos for reference.
At least 90% of them are not wifey even tho you want to find someone to settle with.it’s really challenging to find a good girl nowadays
I'd say 99% of American/westernized modern women are not even GF material nvm wife material. They have been poisoned by the culture and those box's glued to their hands.
Most so called modern “men” ain’t husband material either. Spending hours a day consuming red pill material and complaining about women and life isn’t husband material either.
@@Armando316 Being a good husband is about providing and protecting. That is something that most men do naturally. They are not broken like modern women are.
@@bmardiney You mean today’s so called men who do nothing but whine and cry about life? The ones that don’t get themselves together till they’re almost 40?? The same guys who wouldn’t last a week in boot camp? Or cant hold a job? Or is this the same type of men who thirst after IG models and only fans girls?
It’s not just modern women who are phucked up. So called men of this generation are messed up in their own way. It’s not one sided.
This video was amazing, the words used are correct and people are blinded by social media. This video needs to be spread worldwide!
I think it's very kind of you to make a video to help women with their dating struggles. Because like us good men, there are good women out there that want commitment. Women don't have as many good advice like us men do especially on RUclips. They need women who have had success in dating and getting boyfriends/husbands giving them the correct strategies. Thank you Courtney for speaking the real talk. Have a great weekend 🌺
😊❤️ thanks Georgio, have a great weekend yourself!
Public comment. Ms Courtney you are down to earth. I am happy and proud of you. God bless you. It is very hard to find someone who is honest and trustworthy and respectful and want to have a family. In any relationship between two persons needs trust and respect and commitment to serve the true purpose in life. Self realization is the key to success. Pure taught and actions base on how you procieve life journey begins with you. God created everything for humanity to enjoy life. It is important to protect your dignity and integrity also moral values. No games. No red flags. Loyalty is royalty. ❤❤❤.
I stopped hooking up when I was 20 years old and started looking for a real relationship. Couldn't find it, nothing but girls wanting to hook up all throughout their 20s and into their 30s. I gave up @ 27, been single and abstinent for over 10 years, and I'm not looking back. Good luck ladies.
Awww don’t give up women don’t like a guy who gives up easy because they know he’ll just end the relationship later.
@@abolisher Women give up easily too, it's not a matter of gender anymore. It is a matter of living in a crappy, virtual society that keeps getting worse every day that passes. And sadly, it has no solution because it is what it is. Being happy alone and taking care of your self-growth while enduring the inevitable moments of feeling lonely is the best option.
I'm grateful that Courtney puts her thoughts out there. A lot of people I know aren't all that self aware, but's it's clear that Courtney has considered a large number of different perspectives on many challenging social topics and has come out the other side quite wise. Society would be much better if everyone was as capable of reflecting and improving.
Especially when you are older. I’m 45 years old and been trying to get back out dating, from a long break. I didn’t realize how bad it is now. I’m wanting something long term and it’s very hard to find any woman that wants that let alone date in my age group. It’s all about Hook Up culture now, and Im not looking for a fling.
Bro you your net is not wide so you are looking in the wrong directions; there are women who are out there you just need to look for key performance indicators.
Ugh, I know it’s tough. I promise there are women out there that want the same things!
@@CourtneyRyan thanks 🙏 I’m trying to stay optimistic etc but it’s hard. So many men and women both are all about games, no commitment etc but I’m hopeful that I will find a woman to compliment my life and that wants the same things. As usual thanks Courtney for the great videos and content. ❤️
Listen. You are the prize. Even thou you are 45.
You certainly arent going to find a faithful partner. Live your best life alone.
You are so right Courtney! God bless you! Thanks for sharing this informative video.
Women + Chad's and tyrone's love modern dating. Women's options dry out after they hit the wall but even if women are 5'2 and 250 pounds they can find sexual partners. It's only non Chad's and tyrone's that dating is a struggle for
Yeah, the top 10% of men are getting the benefits of hook up culture, and the bottom 90% are picking up the costs. Or should I say, they are not picking up the costs. That's why dating is mayhem right now.
Men and women, look at the behavior of the person you are going after. Its not just about how they treat you, look at how they treat other people. I have had to let even friends (or people I thought were friends) go from my life, because I couldn't stand how they were treating other people. Sad part is that it took me years to figure this stuff out.
Be content with where you are in life whilst pushing to meet your goals.
Don't worry about what you can't change. Take action on things you can change, and have a positive outlook even during bad times.
Only give your time to people who value your time. Set boundaries.
Life's too short to run around being miserable. Try to be a 'glass half full' type of person.
Modern dating is great as long as you take your time, and screen out the bad leads. Be with someone(or people if you're playing the field) that you click with.
There is a LOT in this statement, basic rules to follow , these are the basics (ha ha), Thanks Andre!
No matter what we do ,no matter how hard we try there will always be someone better ………with that being said just choose a person who checks most of your requirements that’s it you are good to go
I'm a 25 year old guy. I've been looking for a serious relationship with a quality woman. Met with a Christian girl, everything was great but she was too overly religious for me. We had one silly disagreement about religion, and it was a deal breaker for her. We were totally compatible otherwise. She didnt see the pros weighed out the cons. I Wish people wouldnt throw people away based off little things.
Probably dodged a bullet. If she is not prepared to compromise, assuming it was silly like you say, then she didn’t see you as a great option.
@@jleano609 your right
I think that faith and politics are probably the only two things that you shouldn't compromise on, honestly. They both frame your worldview. If you're not in alignment on those two pillars, you're going to have to work so much harder to maintain a healthy relationship.
Great video as always. Love your shirt. Are the colors split on the back too? Amazing content and also great fashion.
I just have to say how cute it is that Courtney thinks the “You up?” texts come in at 11pm 😄
Great video! I think all your points can lead to one cause, at least for men, they don't grow up. They chase tail from high school through college and then right into life. Never once stopping and taking the time to change or do better or correct bad actions. Dating as an adult (18+) should not be the same as when you were in middle/high school.
_"Instead of looking for the girl with the biggest butt, maybe look for someone who's kind and compassionate."_
Once again. Plain and simple. And sums up the whole problem.
@@christopherfaulkner8514 I’m going to agree with what you said with the caveat that not only top tier men have these problems. I’m an older guy, I’m well off, tall, athletic, great shape, healthy, prestigious career, educated and have had more relationships than I care to think about. I don’t date gorgeous women, I much prefer the girl next door type. It has been my experience that the prettier women attract more drama that I don’t want. That said you hit the nail on the head, Hypergamy! Nothing is good enough and men are all stepping stones to the next best guy. They do have a false sense of value and dating apps fuel the I can do better attitude. Then they wonder why after a string of good decent men they didn’t want, their heart gets broken by a smash and dash.
Sorry, no. What Courtney misses is that while some guy do have 1 thing that attracts them, her false equivalency is weak. Women have 6, 6, 12, 20. There’s a famous RUclips video with an overweight, middle aged woman who had a gigantic list. And she’s not the only 1.
@@WestCoastAce27 Exactly! Not only a list of requirements but they want to change you too. I don’t want to wear a suit and tie, I did that for 20 plus years so now I’m wearing flannel and denim. Yes I can afford a Mercedes but my $60k 4x4 is much better in the woods because I like to hike. No I don’t want to grow my hair long, it’s short because I liked it that way since I was in the military. I retired early because I invested and saved so I could do what I wanted while I’m still fairly young so no I don’t want to work again full time. I like going to the gym so I’ll pass on the half marathon that you want me to do with you cuz you don’t bother to lift with me. Just ridiculous things after knowing them for a few weeks. I’ve done well for myself and I don’t need them to change me.