My Adult Brother Lives With My Parents But Won’t Speak to Them

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  • Опубликовано: 3 дек 2024

Комментарии • 148

  • @lauvasquez7198
    @lauvasquez7198 3 дня назад +33

    I feel you Vincent! It’s very frustrating to be a responsible sibling.

  • @dougholdem2898
    @dougholdem2898 3 дня назад +60

    Very important for the calling to know, power of attorney ends the minute your parents die. What you need is to be named both trustee and executor in order to handle affairs after they pass.

    • @amyd3571
      @amyd3571 День назад

      Additionally, put beneficiary/beneficiaries on EVERYTHING that allows it! TODs and PODs too.

    • @petecates3186
      @petecates3186 День назад

      Good point about power of attorney ending at end of life.
      For the will, it will include who inherits and what percentages or specific items/properties go to individuals. If specific properties are not mentioned, they can be sold or not sold as long as evaluations are properly evaluated and assets of estate are distributed based on percentages in the will. By the way, since power of attorney ends at death, if the brother's house is still owned by the parents' estate, the house is distributed according to the will even if it was the parent's intent to leave to the brother. In other words, if the brother is not listed in the will, he does not get the house. The parent's intent MUST be documented in the will and will go through probate unless a trust is created and ownership of the house is transferred to the trust. A trust must also document the deceased intent.

  • @sensimania
    @sensimania 3 дня назад +42

    My 52yr old cousin lives with his mum, and hasn't spoken to her in over a year. He doesn't do anything around the house, doesn't help her with anything, doesn't drive her anywhere. But she won't kick him out for some reason. I think the whole setup is so weird.

    • @chazzkramer7676
      @chazzkramer7676 2 дня назад +9

      @@sensimania She is afraid to be alone. It happens a lot.

    • @ryansweeney5716
      @ryansweeney5716 2 дня назад +6

      Because she raised him tk not leave her. Husband son. She doesn't want to be alone

    • @sensimania
      @sensimania 2 дня назад +6

      @@chazzkramer7676 That's not it. They've never had that type of relationship that you speak of. My aunt has 6 other adult kids (2 male, 4 female). They've all gone on to create their own families. She never treated any of them differently from each other. In fact, they pretty much raised themselves, lol! In terms of getting the eldest to babysit etc. She worked all day and partied all night when they were growing up which (i guess) expedited their independence. & whenever she was home, all she did was shout at them (at least, that was my point of view through my childhood eyes).
      My theory is that she is either scared of what he would do if she threw him out (he has anger issues), or she feels guilty that she was barely "present" during his childhood, which gave way to bullying by his older siblings. Either way, she reaping what she sowed (karmic ties & all that)

    • @sensimania
      @sensimania 2 дня назад

      @@ryansweeney5716 That's not it. Please read the response I gave to Chazz

    • @sensimania
      @sensimania 2 дня назад

      @@ryansweeney5716 That's not it.

  • @mamamia8284
    @mamamia8284 3 дня назад +38

    It’s seems to always be the entitled (adult) kids that get their bills paid for by the parents who treat the parents the worst. They claim “emotional trauma” but never had to lift a finger to do a single chore in childhood and had every want and wish fulfilled and misbehavior excused. I feel like raising entitled kids ruins their lives. I’m praying to learn from other people’s mistakes and raise mine better.

    • @JustinCase780
      @JustinCase780 3 дня назад +1

      And, parents like that usually feel entitled as well treating service people like crap, thinking that they are better than others, etc.. Imagine hearing that nonsense your entire childhood and then not being a freak show with respect for the families situation, financial, etc.

    • @Jane-rh7tc
      @Jane-rh7tc 3 дня назад +3

      the entitled kids were created by the very parents you feel sympathy for, my MiL is exactly like that, my BiL doesn't treat her very bad, but he's 50 yr old and his mom is still doing all his laundry, changing his bed sheet and cookimh for him everyday in her 70's. I often think it was my BiL's issue, but after years of observation, I realized he's like that because his mom made him into what he is today, she treat him like her favorite pet, baby him so much(even though he passed adult age line 30+ yrs ago) she didn't want him to do anything himself. They are what we made them 😅

    • @daynapeterson9033
      @daynapeterson9033 2 дня назад +4

      Because narcissists will clip the wings of one child so they never go anywhete in life because the narcissistic parent suffers from abandonment issues. It's usually the weakest child. The child in turn despises the parent for owning them.

    • @oldbuzzard8536
      @oldbuzzard8536 2 дня назад

      Bingo!!

    • @cashway0420
      @cashway0420 9 часов назад +1

      In this current screen/social media obsessed world all kids are doomed

  • @sallylewis5332
    @sallylewis5332 3 дня назад +22

    This man needs to take a copy of his parents will to a probate attorney TOMORROW. The attorney will evaluate the will and tell him exactly what’s going to happen when the second parent passes. It’s TOO IMPORTANT to ignore what is going to be a miserable, horrific fiasco that will drag on for years to come. Trust me, I’ve been through this and the toll it took was enormous. NOW is the time to straighten this impending mess out.

    • @aolvaar8792
      @aolvaar8792 3 дня назад +2

      Real Estate should not pass by a will,
      Beneficiary Deed, No probate
      Take the death certificates and $30,
      Re-Title in your name.
      or
      Irrevocable trust.
      Keep probate attorney, Judges, Courts out of Real Estate

    • @chazzkramer7676
      @chazzkramer7676 2 дня назад +1

      @aolvaar8792 Irrevocable trust. It can't be contested or manipulated. Be 💯 sure you know EXACTLY what you want and where you want it to go.

  • @carriesing
    @carriesing 3 дня назад +63

    My adult brother lived with my mother, rent free of course, for many years and was so mean to her.

    • @cooltkll
      @cooltkll 3 дня назад +7

      did u try to step in and challenge him on his bad behavior??

    • @carriesing
      @carriesing 3 дня назад +20

      @ Yes. He took the side of her abusive son bc she felt sorry for him since he had a bad father. I had the same bad father but that didn’t matter. I was made homeless by this compound mental illness but thankfully I had a friend of 55 years who took me in for months while I got myself together and found a place I could afford. My mother’s last two years were spent with her hateful son and firstborn cruel daughter and I went on to live in peace and harmony.

    • @HOLDXSTEEL
      @HOLDXSTEEL 3 дня назад +5

      @@carriesinggood

    • @chazzkramer7676
      @chazzkramer7676 3 дня назад +9

      ​@@carriesingNo guilt. They made their choices. Choices come with consequences. You made the right choice.

    • @THEECYBERMACKIN
      @THEECYBERMACKIN 3 дня назад +13

      He was mean because he resented being a loser in life

  • @lindawilson4625
    @lindawilson4625 3 дня назад +13

    I hope his parents "man up" and fix this. It's not right to leave it like this and make the caller pay the price of make tough decisions. It's their responsibilty.

  • @A-Nonnie-Mouse
    @A-Nonnie-Mouse 2 дня назад +2

    We aren't entitled to anything from our parents except protected childhoods.
    Let it go. Make your own way in life so you don't eye your parents' belongings with envy/greed, anticipating the day they'll die so you can have them. It's a disturbing mentality.
    Set the boundaries you're comfortable with while your parents are alive. If they want you to handle things for them, tell them the conditions under which you're willing to do those things.
    Build your own empire that isn't dependent on anyone else's charity.

  • @Shortkonner
    @Shortkonner 3 дня назад +3

    I agree, show up for a meal... with the will, and say it's time to update, whoo hoo~it's the time, here we go...
    My brother is out if the will but they won't do a trust... ugh

  • @kcourtney6826
    @kcourtney6826 2 дня назад +5

    This is why some parents instill a sense of urgency with pushing their kids out when they reach legal age, because they become entitled adults.

    • @Cyberspine
      @Cyberspine 2 дня назад +2

      It's a valid concern, but it could also cause unnecessary economic hardship on the kid. I lived with my parents until I was 22, so I basically got to do my early uni years without having to worry about rent. That means that I now have less student loan debt than I would otherwise have. I think it depends on the kid and the kind of a relationship they have with the parents.

  • @djpuplex
    @djpuplex 3 дня назад +17

    The one good thing about having broke parents is dealing with this type of stuff.

    • @reese85
      @reese85 3 дня назад +5

      I rather deal with this lol

    • @ykook7000
      @ykook7000 3 дня назад +1

      EXACTLY RIGHT 😂

  • @bobfmirvine6652
    @bobfmirvine6652 3 дня назад +4

    He should prepare a codicil to the will that he feels is fair, and present it to his parents to sign! They may not be willing to go thru the hassle of getting someone to do that for them, but would be willing to sign one if handed to them.

  • @enriquericapa933
    @enriquericapa933 3 дня назад +4

    Put the assets on 1 or 2 revocable Trust and then dont worry about probate and you still get step up basis.

  • @JustinCase780
    @JustinCase780 3 дня назад +11

    They should all have discussed these details during Thanksgiving. 😅

  • @HOLDXSTEEL
    @HOLDXSTEEL 3 дня назад +8

    Let him be, if they want him to leave they can tell them!

    • @A-Nonnie-Mouse
      @A-Nonnie-Mouse 2 дня назад

      Yes. Boundaries. Our parents, siblings, etc. get to make their own choices with their own lives.

  • @chowfurnowmeow
    @chowfurnowmeow 3 дня назад +2

    His elderly parents are either didnt want to be the bad guys to set the will properly or they didnt want the burden of responsibility and therefore giving it to him to 'deal with'. I would stop paying towards taxes/expenses for the brother and make this clear to the parents. They SHOULD know better.

  • @caroline-brisbane8577
    @caroline-brisbane8577 3 дня назад +6

    Can you do a title search on the properties to see who is on the deeds.

  • @lionmangolf
    @lionmangolf 3 дня назад +3

    My parents wanted the daughter to get the house but left behind 100k in debt. Therefore she had to buy the house in order to settle their estate. She got upset about it but she got over it.

  • @2023Red
    @2023Red 3 дня назад +4

    Vincent needs to hire an estate attorney for an hour. Draw up the papers. And have papers signed and witnessed. A five day job. And be done with it.

  • @ricksaunders8074
    @ricksaunders8074 3 дня назад +5

    My brother lived with my parents tell they passed
    My mom deed him the house
    It wasn't paid for and he lost it became homeless and died that way.

    • @daynapeterson9033
      @daynapeterson9033 2 дня назад +4

      Yep, it always goes to the kid who never could make it in life.

  • @ft3087
    @ft3087 2 дня назад

    This was deep, top show!

  • @stephenfulford6227
    @stephenfulford6227 3 дня назад +2

    The advice should be to see an estates lawyer. I don't know his jurisdiction, but in mine there are clear rules an estate trustee has to follow for assets not express in the will, or for assets in the remainder. Whether he has power of attorney only, or more likely that he is the executor, that does not give him any right to change the will and coercing a change can lead to court for undue inflience of the testator. Talk to a lawyer in your jurisdiction, don't take your advice from RUclips.

  • @beaniemac
    @beaniemac 2 дня назад +2

    How can he feel like a man when his parents are footing the bills? It's an embarrassment

  • @fdoctor79
    @fdoctor79 6 часов назад

    Currently, living with my mother while finishing graduate school and it is not easy; however, I am grateful for the accomodations. 😅

  • @jeremyhypnotist
    @jeremyhypnotist 3 дня назад +14

    Parents rob children of the gift of accountability. This results in them subconsciously resenting their parents.
    Imagine telling a 30 y/o man, clean your room.
    Imagine them not working nor even doing the dishes.
    Any adult 'deserves' the gift of being valuable and held to a higher standard.

  • @MrFrugalFrank
    @MrFrugalFrank 3 дня назад +5

    My Drunken brother lived with my mom till 2019. ( was already in his fifties) .. My dad already passed And he moved in with. Mom and dad had 2 single beds when they got older He was sleeping in dads bed While sleeping with multiple women I found that disgusting.. Mom went to a nursing home but before that and I threw him out.. The one who physically threw him out was my wife. Reminds me to mind my P's and Q's. Rent free for 3 or 4 years.. Always drunk (mom and dad didn't drink in there latter years).

    • @daynapeterson9033
      @daynapeterson9033 2 дня назад +1

      Same story in my family only our mother washes his sheets for him after he has female visitors. Such a sick dynamic.

    • @drewdelaney4166
      @drewdelaney4166 День назад

      Jeez so disrespectful and gross. I’ve had my fun nights with females when I was single but to do that under my mother’s roof? God no. That’s so weird and feels over the top trashy and rude

    • @drewdelaney4166
      @drewdelaney4166 День назад

      Where’s the drunken brother now ?

  • @carlosmiro4932
    @carlosmiro4932 3 дня назад +3

    Nonsense, he should just resign as power of attorney, and his parents and brother can go to hell, problem solved.

  • @juelz713
    @juelz713 3 дня назад +4

    Great show

  • @Ja50nkAt
    @Ja50nkAt 3 дня назад +10

    Parents are handing him a massive headache when they pass and have no direction for that rental, what crappy parents.

    • @ykook7000
      @ykook7000 3 дня назад +1

      Yep lazy ass ones who could sort it now

  • @MyYoutube-y3s
    @MyYoutube-y3s 2 дня назад

    In most legal systems, if there’s no will for certain part of the Estate and that part isn’t used towards paying bills or outlays - that remaining property is divided legally to all legal heirs.

  • @pamt3915
    @pamt3915 3 дня назад +11

    The parents might not want to discuss the rental house because the brother is already on the deed.

    • @UsernameUnkwn21
      @UsernameUnkwn21 3 дня назад +2

      That is something that can easily be looked up on the county website, I'm sure he has already done that

    • @pamt3915
      @pamt3915 3 дня назад +1

      It might not have occurred to the caller to contact the tax office if the records aren’t online.

  • @drafting5353
    @drafting5353 День назад

    This should be dealt with now by the parents. If they want him to get the house they can gift/quitclaim it to him now. This should not be punted to a son to deal with after their death.

  • @sandcat731
    @sandcat731 2 дня назад +3

    Wonder what his reason for cutting off contact is, could be deserved for all we know

    • @daynapeterson9033
      @daynapeterson9033 2 дня назад +1

      A child usually walks away due to narcissistic abuse.

  • @JoeRNNE1
    @JoeRNNE1 День назад

    The parents' current wills may well have residue clauses (e.g., language which disposes of all of the remainder of the estate after all of the various other bequests are addressed) which would include the apartment house. That said, I agree with George and Ken. This caller needs to have an in-depth conversation with his parents about their wishes.

  • @AnnWeisel-h3c
    @AnnWeisel-h3c 3 дня назад +3

    Rental is paying the taxes etc for bro.

  • @Cucumberflavoredmustard
    @Cucumberflavoredmustard 3 дня назад +1

    The only situation where this would be ok, is if the parents are wealthy and that son has an incurable condition that makes him unable to work. Even then, the parents should have kept the deed in their name.

  • @JustinCase780
    @JustinCase780 3 дня назад +4

    Ken heard some news this morning about Chile so is now thinking chili for his lunch side.

  • @TrazimDollare1982
    @TrazimDollare1982 3 дня назад +4

    Ken had Wendy’s Chilli for Lunch

  • @We.Live.In.InterestingTimes
    @We.Live.In.InterestingTimes 3 дня назад +4

    Great advice. I wonder why the parents refuse to "deal with it". Are they intimidated by brother? Are they failing mentally? Overwhelmed by something else?

    • @bobfmirvine6652
      @bobfmirvine6652 3 дня назад +4

      They are old, like me, and tired of the hassle!

    • @We.Live.In.InterestingTimes
      @We.Live.In.InterestingTimes 3 дня назад +4

      @@bobfmirvine6652 I hear you but being old makes it even more important to get yr will sorted out before you croak.

  • @LaurenRagusa-e9u
    @LaurenRagusa-e9u 2 дня назад

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  • @JohnDerrick-z5i
    @JohnDerrick-z5i 3 дня назад

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  • @davidOConnor-z3l
    @davidOConnor-z3l 3 дня назад +3

    First of all Dave would’ve asked how much the estate is worth and then one brother to say for 1 billion/brother to get something which he’s already got it, which is the house for 20 years,,this collar/brother gets the bigger house,,, and either they split the rental house meaning they split the rent money and find a tenant I think that’s what the parents want that way they always have some money and they must have a relationship I think this brother wants to weasel his brother out of the rental property home what she feels he should get because he’s execution of the state/executioner of the Estate

  • @daynapeterson9033
    @daynapeterson9033 2 дня назад +2

    Why do the parents always do do do for the kid who can't ever hit a lick in life?

    • @qkwjz
      @qkwjz 2 дня назад +1

      Always.

  • @beckys.4381
    @beckys.4381 13 часов назад

    Have them quitclaim the rental over to you now.

  • @SteveC484
    @SteveC484 3 дня назад

    Dude starts the call fishing for compliments and congrats twice 😂

  • @susanparsons9365
    @susanparsons9365 2 дня назад

    Obviously he wants to receive the rental property; otherwise why mention it.

  • @imveryhungry112
    @imveryhungry112 3 дня назад

    Parents with significant assets seem to have issues with their parents very frequently. Im not sure why that is. My parents were broke and me and my parents were very close. Is it something about the extra money that makes things wierd?

    • @TheBeagle1956
      @TheBeagle1956 2 дня назад

      It’s not the money, but the values they have regarding money.

  • @Roxality
    @Roxality 3 дня назад

    Does brother have grandkids the grandparents want to leave anything too? I mean they are innocent in all this, so maybe take a bit of funds and start a small trust for them.

  • @melodyc123
    @melodyc123 2 дня назад

    He is wimpy. Just tell them you want the rental. Open your mouth and ask for it. If you haven't asked, they might not think it's a big deal ... because you didn't push for it.

  • @yanwain9454
    @yanwain9454 3 дня назад

    you know this couple conceived on election night lol. congrats to them 🤗

  • @MrFrankielee1992
    @MrFrankielee1992 2 дня назад

    Facts is its his parents decision. They obviously want all their kids to be taken care of. It will only be a headache for him if he fights the will. They do not have to have it in the will. Sounds like he is being shady brother. If they put in the will the the rental is split it sounds like he would be upset. He wants the property. Sounds shady to me.

  • @cyoohoos
    @cyoohoos 3 дня назад +3

    If your parents are alive AND of sound mind… make them make a will? It’s not that hard. Big Bro gets this, other Bro gets everything else. They don’t even have to itemize everything else? And they sign it.

  • @SantoMessina-t2z
    @SantoMessina-t2z 2 дня назад

    Does the brother speak to you?? If so do whats right if not wash your hands till he steps up!!

  • @LegDayLas
    @LegDayLas 22 часа назад

    L take from Ramsey staff this time. They are acting like his opinions on what the brother get's matter. What matters is what the parents want and he was very clear that the things they wanted were things he doesn't like.

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  • @jimmymcgill6778
    @jimmymcgill6778 3 дня назад

    Click bait title. The brother is not living with the parents.
    Follow the will. If there's no will. Probate court will deal with it.
    His brother just gets the house that he's living in now.
    He just have to pay taxes and insurance now.
    How it the brother not financial responsible? They don't know the whole story and why they bought him a house.
    Does he even know what the will say's?
    Sounds like he care's more about money then anything else.

    • @ykook7000
      @ykook7000 3 дня назад +1

      LOL the brother is living in a house owner by the parents and not paying any of the taxes that's close enough

    • @jimmymcgill6778
      @jimmymcgill6778 3 дня назад

      @@ykook7000 It's not close. It's not even close to the same.

  • @SilentStormParadox
    @SilentStormParadox 3 дня назад +5

    I think the part this guy is leaving out of the story is that they are all Jehovah's Witnesses and his brother got disfellowshipped for not believing in the religion anymore and so now the caller and the parents shun the brother but in their twisted worldview they say the brother is choosing to shun them,
    because "he could choose to come back to the religion any time. But he hates God so much and therefore is dangerous."
    The caller is the despicable one who is not godly or human in any capacity.

    • @joshuaswanson4789
      @joshuaswanson4789 3 дня назад +1

      Do you know the caller?

    • @BillykOTW
      @BillykOTW 3 дня назад +2

      Where did you conjure this story from?

    • @AlphaShadowSphere
      @AlphaShadowSphere 3 дня назад +1

      Excellent fan-fic but I don't hear any evidence of this in the call. Sounds like you may be projecting.
      My wife and I disowned her parents for continued abusive narcissistic behaviors. We had 3 pastors (including their own pastors) and 3 mental health experts come to the same conclusion. When they refused to change we disowned them and went no contact permanently.
      They're relatively well off financially but it was an easy choice to have a 30 year happy marriage vs a life of chaos and strife for the potential of an inheritance.
      My wife and I never got a gift anywhere close to a house but we made sure to not have any financial obligations to them and stop accepting gifts of any kind when they started using them as leverage in our relationship. It's not worth it.

    • @slackyogurt
      @slackyogurt 2 дня назад

      I think we found the brother of the caller!! ⬆️

    • @sundaydrive9
      @sundaydrive9 День назад

      I don't think this is the case here, but Jehovah's Witnesses do behave that way. A very unchristian religion that violates the First Amendment and forces members to shun family.

  • @Zarsla
    @Zarsla 2 дня назад

    Honestly listening to what the caller said.
    My soultion would be:
    Make sure tha brother gets his house, make sure the caller gets his parents house.
    And then talk to parents about what they want with whatever property they have and if they want the both sons sto have stakes in it or not.
    If they both want the kids to inherint something beyond the house but not any other property, I'd say sell it and split down the middle between the 2 of them. Else make sure that you follow the parents wishes and not your own whims.

    • @lombardo141
      @lombardo141 2 дня назад +1

      I wouldn’t care. Let him pay the taxes and I will move on with my life.

  • @zybard01
    @zybard01 3 дня назад +1

    Soy boy hosting hour

  • @BlackMiddleEastern
    @BlackMiddleEastern 3 дня назад +1

    Deduct the money you spent and devide invited the rest evenly.

  • @brendanastell7411
    @brendanastell7411 3 дня назад

    When are you guys gonna change your stance on Crypto? It’s time to move with the times. Dave has already cost a lot of people a lot of money over telling them to sell all their crypto in a bear market… now that the US Government will be holding a BTC reserve.. surely that’s enough for you guys to grow with the times.

    • @janelleg597
      @janelleg597 3 дня назад

      And when are you going to realize it isn't a reliable investment? It has not proved itself over time yet. It's volatile and for all the grand speeches about privacy the Canadian government wasted no time sabotaging the truckers' protest. And that was a peaceful protest. In a developed, supposedly democratic country. So no, we don't you finance bros whatsoever

    • @lombardo141
      @lombardo141 2 дня назад

      Until I can use crypto in my local grocery store I don’t want to hear about crypto.