I think that the biggest myth of adulthood is the idea is that you become an adult in one moment. Becoming an adult is usually gradual. You do it in steps. My path involved dorming at college for four years, then living with my parents while working freelance jobs, then getting my first full time job while still living at home, and then moving out yet again. Adulthood is like a lattice, not a ladder nor one single moment.
Thank you for sharing your personal story in adulthood. It made me feel so much better about my similar “adulting” situation. I will feel less shame about my journey from now on. 🙂
#1 you're as close to people as social media makes you think #2 there are certain benchmarks of adulthood that you need to follow #3 you're not allowed to change career paths after you start #4 there are people at work who 100% know what they are doing #5 everyone is looking at you #6 special occasions are always going to be the highlight of your year #7 you owe people an explanation about your life choices #8 being honest is the same as being dramatic
I remember saying a couldnt wait to drive, I couldn’t wait to graduate, I couldn’t wait to get a job. And now I’m here and... I wanna go back to nap time!!!
I'm 17 and childhood wasn't so great for me, nor is it for many others. I didn't have very many friends in elementary and middle school due to struggling with Autism and had severe behavioral problems as a result. There are struggling children in developing countries who have it much worse than even the most stressed poorest adults in America, UK, Canada, France, Germany etc. do. It's all about perspective.
Well...it’s perspective in some way. But you have to take lots of things, like for example I’m from Ecuador an architect and have no job , it’s been like that for 7 moths so the job market it’s awful an immigration has been non stop from Venezuela, I can’t compete because they ask much less for the same job. That’s one thing, the other points in Chelsea’s video are spot on, at least for me, I get awful anxiety just watching my peers and friends, so you have to do what’s right for you and try to think that no path in life is the same as another and to be less judgmental. Because here everyone is judging you if you change carries, like I did, so I think we have to take care of ourself and stop thinking about what others think, and like Chelsea said they don’t even think about you so...🤷🏼♀️
I think one of the biggest myths that hold people back is that they think that once they're older, they can't achieve their dreams. I don't think age is a restriction for not getting what we want in life. Morgan Freeman did not become a famous actor until his 50s.
It's not always the same at 17-my age. I still have to beg my mom to open me an investing account so I can save the money from a job I'm starting next week.
These are all good things to know. I'm glad "Get breakfast at the Wendy's drive thru every morning in your boxers" isn't on the list. I'll keep doing that.
Good points, all of them. Speaking as someone who's been an adult for almost 50 years, and is looking forward to a second childhood: the one thing that makes you an adult is accepting the consequences (both direct and indirect) of your choices... or of your failing to choose. It also helps to be able to deal with things that are beyond your control, without going nuts. Being an adult has nothing to do with fitting into some mold that's defined by other people. One thing that surprised me in the video was the career thing. Do people still believe in life-long careers? I suppose the "trades" (plumbing, etc.) will be around for decades to come, but I was under the impression that it was now typical to have three or more careers during a lifetime.
We probably feel this way, cause we don't know why we are here and we are living in a fake society that tells us what adulthood is but we've made it all up to keep us safe and to take our hard earned cash, I'm 27 and I'm a massive kid, but I know responsibility, but I'm not going to have my own kids cause I would rather look after them and then give them back to their parents at the end of the day, I don't even wear make up and im supposed to, cause you know women aren't pretty enough (yes sarcasm), but I don't live a, 'normal', adult life, because as long as I'm not hurting Anyone or anything, who really cares, you can either live your life or you can live a life that someone has told you to live, I know which one I have chosen.
Being an adult is about being independent and supporting yourself financially. It had nothing to do with your relationship status property ownership. I'm 35 and don't own a house and I'm not married (but am in a stable long term relationship) but have a successful career and have supported myself for the last 10 years since I left university (college). Thanks for the video, it's spot on as usual.
Sincerely THANK YOU! I was recently promoted to the Corporate Office, and each concern youve listed are those that I have suffered sleepless nights over. Thank you for this! Much prosperity!!! 😃
The career change is so true! I am only 20 and just finished a degree in film however I don't see myself in this industry at all and decided to apply to medical school to become a dietician - some people think I'm crazy but my family support me very much and is happy for me!
Every single one of your videos has helped me so much. I'm 22, starting a business soon and in thousands of college debt. Your channel and your relatable personality makes the video so enjoyable to watch and helps me not get overwhelmed with early adulthood.
I'd say the biggest myth of being an adult is you shed all the things you enjoyed in your youth, like hitting a certain age means you need to stop liking these things. Admittedly, it's an odd concept for me to think that one day I'll be much older and still watching, say, anime and enjoying the same genre of songs I do now but the thought of shedding all of that is even stranger. It's a part of me. It's who I am. And the idea that I should stop enjoying these things just because I'm a certain age is rather worrying. Well, my hope for the future is those my age watching anime will be the new norm, like how my grandmother and mom love Law and Order, lol. "Oh my god, my mom watches nothing BUT anime like there's nothing else on! She's so old school! I love binging Law and Order: TPU VKB 9006 Redeux!"
Definitely a huge myth! So many people get so caught up in this warped idea of what maturity is and what is or isn't childish that they just stop enjoying anything.
Completely agree. Not to mention that some animes are geared towards mature audiences and actually tackle really interesting themes. I think I’ve researched fullmetal alchemist brotherhood about three times, all at different parts of my life. Probably when I was about 17, 20 and 23. I have gotten something different out of that show every single time.
@@mariakurtidis Clannad: After Story wins the Most Adult...and Heartbreaking award for me. I appreciated watching it as an adult and its relevancy, even with nuanced things like a blond anime character having to dye his hair back to black for his job. You wouldn't think of that as anime characters have such wild colors but that touch of realism was really great and truthful.
@@abominablyawsm Thank you! For example, I was watching a man review items here on RUclips (Freakin' Reviews) and he was reviewing a product that quickly allowed you to fill water balloons. I'm 29 but if I could get enough adult friends together, I would really love to have a moment of doing a water balloon fight. Or laser tag. Or rollerblading (not that I've done that in ages but I can Rollerblade better than I can use regular skates). There's a lot of fun things I did as a kid that I'd hate to be barred from just because I'm an adult. Those with kids are a bit lucky though; it's a bit easier for parents to live vicariously through them, lol.
Great video! I still living at home, barely started saving a year ago and I'm turning 31 soon and never traveled outside the U.S. :( Needed this video today! Glad I'm not the only one that has these myths about adulthood :D
Thanks for this video Chelsea. You published at a perfect time where I was going through some of my own adult myths with my therapist today and unpacking some of the meaning. It’s been interesting over the past few years to unload, analyze and toss the toxic stuff. I think this also ties in with one myth that held back my confidence in finding my ideal job (and will hopefully land soon within a week, fingers crossed). I also agree with you 100% on the finding-the-perfect-job-after-college pressure. I wanted to become a librarian and had to go to grad school. That never happened but I found a great career in tech that uses my BA in anthropology and can’t want to start working! And it’s only taken me 6 years out of college to do so, lol. Thanks again for all your hard work at TFD. I love all your videos and I can’t wait to get your guys’ book and implement your steps once I get a steady income.
Chelsea's outfit is cute. Also, I like the point around the 14 min mark about not being afraid of confrontation. I am so not, but, I think it gets difficult when we live/work with people of other cultures or generations who just see things differently. So. I know for me, I end up not saying things simply because I don't feel like arguing or know they won't understand.
whenever i feel like im doing bad or im confused about my career i go here and i feel better and im reminded that im doing fine, you're like a mother i really need
I know it was written to be an exaggeration to really push your point but I actually have made the decision to pursue a career as a circus performer (whilst obviously setting myself up financially in case things go wrong) and it's something that I always find myself downplaying in conversation particularly with relatives as many of my uncles are academics or engineers - so anyway, not really sure what this comment aimed to achieve but i guess thank you just for saying those words and reminding me of an important truth :)
Thank you so much for this video. A few days ago my friend told me that I was not an adult because I didn't own a car. I told her that I was struggling financially but she just told me to find another job like she did.
I so needed to hear number 4 I just graduated college and I'm looking for my first job. I'm so scared of having no idea what I'm doing but it's good to know I'm not the only one. The reason these milestones exist is because our parents lived in an better finical climate, they didn't have to go to school and could get a job where they could work their until they retired. They started their lives earlier than we did.
yo, Im 28 , I live a boat and will probably never live in a house, I love it! i am about to retain it willtake 4 years but will but makes really good financial sence!
I'm sixty-plus years old. The world in which my parents grew up is not the one I found myself in, and my world is not yours. It is not only OK to make your own way, it is unavoidable.
I love your dress. I'm so glad you mentioned number seven. It took me a while to convince myself that I could be free to make decisions without feeling like I owed people an explanation.
I really needed this video! I just moved to NYC, straight from college and into an entry-level position in my goal career. I’ve found myself caught in all the traps that you mentioned and its been exhausting! Definitely going to try and be more mindful about these pitfalls in the future!
THANK YOU!! It is frustrating and annoying to justify why you dont want kids. You suddenly become less of an adult or human. That u want to be a kid forever and it isnt like that. We are just as much of an adult as a parent. I hope those near me will understand.
I don't want kids, but I love looking after them and giving them back to their parents at the and of the day, but I don't want children and I'm certainly not void of responsibility. I think there's enough people in the world as it is, so anyone who tells me I'm selfish or wring I look at them in despair, I know I'm not wrong its my choice and its not hurting anyone. So I like your mind set, its healthy.
Spoiler alert - no matter if you have zero kids or 15 kids, people are always going to have an opinion. I have 1 kid and I get the, "When are you going to have another?!" but I have friends that have 3 kids and expecting another and get hit with, "Why are you having more?!!" People are assholes no matter the amount of kids involved.
Thanks a lot Chelsea! It’s so relatable and growing up in a non first world country, these are the constant things you are judged upon even if you are in your 40s. Thanks for sharing your insight. Really really relieving. 😇
Hey Chelsea and Team! Absolutely loved this video.. I am also about the same age as Chelsea and have had similar experiences/realizations... So I can totally identify with these.. I would urge everyone to give up these limiting beliefs.. Life becomes incredibly free and peaceful!!
I completely agree. I always thought my parents were "weird" or "different" because they didn't have my brother until 31 and they didnt get a house until 34... but now I realize that adulthood doesn't have to be the same for anyone, and that it's a journey, not a race. Great video!
+cloudsofsunset Being of age is awesome, it gives you so much freedom (if you're not being suppressed by your parents in some way, and I really hope you're not!). "Adult things" are very often not only way easier than they seem but also - in my experience - less boring and tedious. When I was 20 and for the first time completely independent, I felt like I could do whatever I wanted to do. I knew I had to face the consequences that resulted from things like quitting my job and such and I knew I wasn't allowed to do illegal things, but since I never wanted to do illegal things this still meant I got to do whatever the hell I wanted.
I feel ya, went study abroad when i was 17, scared to death but actually my idea of things were much more scary than the real deal, calm yourself and prepare, you can do this
Well, congrats one getting the opportunity to study abroad. You don't have to be afraid, everyone is nervous about going to another country. Welcome to the club, because I was offered a job to go to abroad and I'm only 22, This is also a big step for me too. You'll do just fine.
I think one of the important truth I learned is not to compare myself to others. Setting my own goals and determining my own happiness is what helped to make me an adult.
I always felt like i was behind on life, not being worthy because i didnt have a job, house, partner... a worthy life, more and more i feel like i dont have to be shy and shamed about telling my actual life story. I'm autistic, had to learn so many things that came natural to others and i had really low self esteem and didnt think i could do anything by myself. I've shed these misconceptions, thankfully
I used this Wealthsimple offer but found that it was only intended for the US market. Having said that, I've been using Wealthsimple in the UK for a couple of months and I'm very happy with their product and service.
This is great. My mentality has changed a lot from my teens/early 20s, I used to always be bitter about people's success because I felt I was just as deserving. I knew it wasn't OK to think that but when I heard someone was doing well, all I wanted to say was "Good for you, glad your life is going so well." Usually these people had 2 parent incomes and had more opportunities because they didn't have to worry about money. And I was also angry because they just didn't understand me when I said I couldn't afford something. I never blew my money, I am actually very good with it, but my savings vs their's was very different. It was just so small-minded of them. So I've always been so hell bent on money and stressed over it. I still am sort of irritated about the drastic difference between people's lives when they make different incomes, even socially. "Not everyone has the same life path." But like you said, people are sometimes critical about what you are doing with your life because of these ancient standards of American Society. No one really ever factors in the cost of living and the changes that are clearly happening in society. I still feel a bit old to have gotten my first car and driving license at 26. When it comes up in conversation, people are baffled. I just had a different childhood and after that, different priorities. Financially, I have never been ready to invest in a car. Its absolutely a necessity when you want to be able to go where you need/want to independently but the way I grew up, I saw it as a luxury. Most people got their first cars from parents, my mom couldn't do that for me but at least she put me through college as best she could. Unfortunately, each time I get that baffled look when I tell them about me having my first car at 26, I don't have time to explain my life story. You are just judged. I know you aren't supposed to care about what people think but those things come up and you kind of need to explain otherwise they think something is wrong with you, like you're irresponsible with money. My mother used to be the cool mom, letting me go to concerts real young or letting me dye my hair. She educated me very well, even talking about her experiences with street life. But as soon as I started reach my late teens and early 20s, she became extremely controlling. As soon as I moved back from college, I had curfews all the way up until she moved to another state. I was 24 and I couldn't just stay over at a bf's house or friends house or I'd get a day long lecture. Before then, even her parents who are extremely conservative, told her that I was too sheltered. I'm definitely a smart woman, but now more than ever, I realize what they meant. It feels like I'm in the body of a 22yr old and people look/talk to me in such a way, too. I just got my first credit card too! Doesn't help that I don't look my age at all. Regardless of it all, confidence is key. Easier said that done. And my philosophy now when I get upset about the way people think or act is just to remember that they probably don't know any better--so your best bet is to stay calm and educate them.
I totally agree with you the home thing. We do own a home but are selling it now to move. Even selling at a profit is a huge pain in the butt and dealing with a home sale slows any move. We will probably buy again but we are going to rent in our new city for awhile and make sure it’s a good fit for us before buying.
Thank you so much for this!! I’ve been a subscriber for a little over a year now. And I’ve always enjoyed your content. I’m in my early 20s, recently hired for a exciting full time position at an office I interned at and I’m basically trying to get my life in order as quickly as possible. And I’ll admit I’ve believed and fallen into these myths. I can say that having a support system of people to hold me accountable has helped me be more aware to not do it. However I appreciate information when it’s short and straight to the point. This is exactly what I needed to hear right now, so again thank you! Lots of love from LA💕
oh my god! why haven't i hear this sooner! i had been restless n mentally drained from questioning myself if im competent or not, even thou i had just started my career as film special effect makeup artist... i somehow believe that i should have known it all, n blame my self for not knowing things... this helps me alot... thank u girl, this video is really helpful
The not wanting children thing can become SO heated. People feel entitled to have all sorts of opinions about that, and the "bingos" can be pretty awful. I'm lucky that I never really received any grief for not wanting kids (and at 40, people have FINALLY stopped asking about it, sheesh), but I know it's not that way for everyone. Good for you for knowing yourself.
Every highschool NEEDS to show this to kids. This is everything I realized in my 20's that I really wish I had heard back then. So many unrealistic expectations are set for teenagers.
I feel like I need to watch this video every morning to remind myself that I don’t owe anyone an explanation and I need to focus on myself and my goals
I don't really agree with the first point. A lot of the people I follow but don't talk to on social media were very important in my life at one point. Just because we have drifted doesn't mean we are no longer friends. I have contacted friends after having not talked to them in over 10 years and rekindled the the relationships, and there are others I hope to talk to again when/if our lives allow it again. Social media allows me to keep up with where they are in their lives and support them on their path without the need to invest so much in a relationship I may not be able to in the moment
This is true. Social media has helped me personally in really keeping up with peoples lives. But I think what she's trying to say goes back to that one point: very few people truly care about you (and vice versa). Social media is a great way to "feel" connected, but at the end of the day, being "friends" on FB or Instagram with a few hundred people means very little. The reality is that I know and care about very few of them (and I know they feel the same way about me). Otherwise, we'd hang out together in real life more often.
I have to agree. I get the sentiment that she was trying to convey, but it was a bit cutthroat when she said to cut people out of your social networks who don't add value to your life. Just like with real life relationships, you don't need to converse with your social networks daily, weekly, monthly. It is just nice to have access to them. No need to purge them because they don't "have value."
Yeah the friends I have in social media are old friends that I don't live near anymore. I like that I can still keep up with them because of social media.
I think for a lot of people its about realising who when you see their posts you feel joy and warmth in regards to the person and those who have a negative effect on how you feel, I agree I have friends who I speak with very infrequently but love seeing that their doing well, are happy etc. But I know that there are some people that I was fantastic friends with in high school but now have nothing in common with so theres no need for me to put energy in to those friendships. I think a lot of people struggle with the whole quality vs quantity thing.
I'm Brazilian and yesterday it came out that 20% less driver's licenses were released than 10 years ago in our country, and the conclusion was that we are a irresponsible generation that doesn't want to drive our own cars and that's why public transportation in big cities is in so bad shape. It took for me a long time to realize that having a car doesn't mean I'm an adult. I was born in a town that is a Brazilian Detroit and my whole family work in the car industry. But I had a car and it made me more dependent - of parking spots, and financially - than independent, and my adult decision was getting rid of it.
That's a pretty weird conclusion. It is good for the environment, if people use public transportation. And car accidents are still one of the biggest reasons, why people get killed every year. What about people who have medical conditions that don't allow them to drive? Also, having a big demand for public transportation isn't an excuse for a bad service. Countries like Switzerland, Japan and many others have a huge demand for public transportation as well and they can handle it, despite the fact that the climate and weather there can be pretty challenging at times, especially during winter, when there is tons of snow. So no offence to you, my friend, but to me that sounds more like one of the typical bullshit excuses some politicians in Brazil tend to make, in order to not get things done.
Yes yes yes to #8! I just had a work experience where I realized I needed to be open and vulnerable with my colleagues, and it was very illuminating. Also, signed up for wealth simple! :)
I needed this video today really really badly. Thank you so incredibly much for making this. I definitely love this style of video; I think people underestimate how much their mental health and preconceptions about life in general directly and indirectly influence their finances. Also, please don't be afraid to cover the same topics more than once. I know I appreciate repetition and reminders to help me reassess if I've changed anything since the first time I heard it!!
This one was soooo good, Chelsea! Thank you so much!! I loved especially the third and the one where you said "you dont owe explanation to anyone" [ps: I am also with you on the kid matter. I think/behave the same and I very much aim to change that! The same time: let me whisper that: its not just our fault/characteristic that we act this way. It is social pressure that you CAN totally feel implicitely being conveyed to you. I majored in Sociology, we studied that.] Lots of hugs from Austria and Hungary!
I love all your advice. You are great. You have helped me immensely make big life decisions and feeling at peace with them. I can't thank you enough. 🤗🌲
Hey Chelsea! Wealthsimple only works in the UK, USA and Canada. Do you know of any alternatives for people in other parts of the world? I personally live in Italy, but it could be helpful for anyone anywhere :)
Hello !! I recently discovered your channel and it has been so interesting and helpful at the same time !! I wanted to start with wealthsimple but I couldn't make it because I don't live in the U.S. Is it just for U.S residents? I live in Argentina. Thanks for the videos you are sharing, best regards. Mar
When I was in my teens and early teens my aunt and sometimes my mom were trying to fix me up. They thought it was unnatural for a girl that age to not date. I think my aunt is disappointed that I never married or had children!
Love this video!! Can you guys do a video on good books to read that have shifted the way you approached aspects of your life and finances? I think it would be extremely helpful! :)
Chelsea, thanks so much for such a helpful video chock full of such great advice. #3 in particular hit home for me - I've spent two years making a pretty painful transition to an industry that most people start getting into while still undergrads. At 26, I often feel like I'm spinning my wheels and won't ever take off with my new career, and that I'm behind in my savings or my level of seniority, even if I know the transition was the right thing to do and I'd hate having stayed in my old industry (marketing). Thanks putting it so well, it's great to hear outside validation about changing careers being a good idea
"if you ever feel like at your job you have 100% confidence and are never challenged by it or put out of your comfort zone, you should probably leave that job." This really applies only to non safety jobs. As an Air Traffic Controller, I cherish the fact that after years on the job I can make hundreds of life or death decisions each shift without feeling out of my comfort zone. As a former pilot I felt the same after years of experience. I would hazard to guess there are many safety, health care, and operational jobs where this also applies. This is a common theme in the world, career advise is really only offered for those in a certain office size scope.
Hey! I tried Wealthsimple but they are not avaible in Austria :(. Could you please do a video for investing op. in Europe? Like most of the apps and sites are not avaible in Europe and I really want to start investing!!! Keep up the good work :)
If you live in the town I grew up in and around the people I grew up around, they may in fact be paying a lot of attention to you. My cousin lives 45 min away. She had to drive through our hometown on the way to somewhere else. She stopped for a drink at a grocery store. It was reported to her mother within five minutes. Iam 42, and my parents are not on social media of any kind, but my posts get reported back to my parents on occasion. My other relatives, some older than me, tattletale on me. It really all depends on your environment and how much other people feel that they are "owed" your business.
Here are some "grown up" behaviors that are wasting your money: ruclips.net/video/rQcro7m3dOA/видео.html.
I think that the biggest myth of adulthood is the idea is that you become an adult in one moment. Becoming an adult is usually gradual. You do it in steps. My path involved dorming at college for four years, then living with my parents while working freelance jobs, then getting my first full time job while still living at home, and then moving out yet again. Adulthood is like a lattice, not a ladder nor one single moment.
Well said.
Allie J. Thanks. :)
Lauren Conrad That too!!!
Thank you for sharing your personal story in adulthood. It made me feel so much better about my similar “adulting” situation. I will feel less shame about my journey from now on. 🙂
L.S. Hudnell so glad l could help. :)
#1 you're as close to people as social media makes you think
#2 there are certain benchmarks of adulthood that you need to follow
#3 you're not allowed to change career paths after you start
#4 there are people at work who 100% know what they are doing
#5 everyone is looking at you
#6 special occasions are always going to be the highlight of your year
#7 you owe people an explanation about your life choices
#8 being honest is the same as being dramatic
Merci!
Thanks
Thank u
Yang Yuchen thank you!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Yang Yuchen thanks!!! These are so true!!!!
I remember saying a couldnt wait to drive, I couldn’t wait to graduate, I couldn’t wait to get a job. And now I’m here and... I wanna go back to nap time!!!
Sincerelyy Eccentric samies!
That's why I'm a babyfur
I'm 17 and childhood wasn't so great for me, nor is it for many others. I didn't have very many friends in elementary and middle school due to struggling with Autism and had severe behavioral problems as a result. There are struggling children in developing countries who have it much worse than even the most stressed poorest adults in America, UK, Canada, France, Germany etc. do. It's all about perspective.
Well...it’s perspective in some way. But you have to take lots of things, like for example I’m from Ecuador an architect and have no job , it’s been like that for 7 moths so the job market it’s awful an immigration has been non stop from Venezuela, I can’t compete because they ask much less for the same job. That’s one thing, the other points in Chelsea’s video are spot on, at least for me, I get awful anxiety just watching my peers and friends, so you have to do what’s right for you and try to think that no path in life is the same as another and to be less judgmental. Because here everyone is judging you if you change carries, like I did, so I think we have to take care of ourself and stop thinking about what others think, and like Chelsea said they don’t even think about you so...🤷🏼♀️
I hope you get a job soon, best of luck!
I think one of the biggest myths that hold people back is that they think that once they're older, they can't achieve their dreams. I don't think age is a restriction for not getting what we want in life. Morgan Freeman did not become a famous actor until his 50s.
UNLEASHING POTENTIAL - PSYCHOLOGY VIDEOS Alan Rickman didn't even begin acting until his 40's.
Steve Carell @ 40 yrs as well
It's not always the same at 17-my age. I still have to beg my mom to open me an investing account so I can save the money from a job I'm starting next week.
People start music when they are very small. I'm 19 and I want to be a professional drummer.
That's so true! People just make excuses for themselves not working on things they are supposed to be doing.
These are all good things to know. I'm glad "Get breakfast at the Wendy's drive thru every morning in your boxers" isn't on the list. I'll keep doing that.
+WheezyWaiter Hello, random famous person in the comment section!
Fancy seeing you here!
I think they have other videos concerning that.
Gah! My RUclips worlds are colliding! You're killing Independent George.
🤣🤣
Good points, all of them.
Speaking as someone who's been an adult for almost 50 years, and is looking forward to a second childhood: the one thing that makes you an adult is accepting the consequences (both direct and indirect) of your choices... or of your failing to choose. It also helps to be able to deal with things that are beyond your control, without going nuts.
Being an adult has nothing to do with fitting into some mold that's defined by other people.
One thing that surprised me in the video was the career thing. Do people still believe in life-long careers? I suppose the "trades" (plumbing, etc.) will be around for decades to come, but I was under the impression that it was now typical to have three or more careers during a lifetime.
I'm 24, and I feel like I need this advise video. I feel mentally like a ''child'' in an adult body
Cause you are. :) the 30s are easier
Dont worry in 27 and I feel the same!
Same
Agreed. I sometimes view adult problems is just a problem but more complicated
We probably feel this way, cause we don't know why we are here and we are living in a fake society that tells us what adulthood is but we've made it all up to keep us safe and to take our hard earned cash, I'm 27 and I'm a massive kid, but I know responsibility, but I'm not going to have my own kids cause I would rather look after them and then give them back to their parents at the end of the day, I don't even wear make up and im supposed to, cause you know women aren't pretty enough (yes sarcasm), but I don't live a, 'normal', adult life, because as long as I'm not hurting Anyone or anything, who really cares, you can either live your life or you can live a life that someone has told you to live, I know which one I have chosen.
Being an adult is about being independent and supporting yourself financially. It had nothing to do with your relationship status property ownership. I'm 35 and don't own a house and I'm not married (but am in a stable long term relationship) but have a successful career and have supported myself for the last 10 years since I left university (college). Thanks for the video, it's spot on as usual.
I had my first being"i'm an adult" the time it hit me it was *my* choise if i want to have cereal for dinner 7 days in a row
I just had cereal for dinner too!
Sincerely THANK YOU! I was recently promoted to the Corporate Office, and each concern youve listed are those that I have suffered sleepless nights over. Thank you for this! Much prosperity!!! 😃
The career change is so true! I am only 20 and just finished a degree in film however I don't see myself in this industry at all and decided to apply to medical school to become a dietician - some people think I'm crazy but my family support me very much and is happy for me!
This video and the pieces of advice feel like a hug. It’s so comforting and reassuring that someone validates your life decisions. Thank you Chelsea.
Every single one of your videos has helped me so much. I'm 22, starting a business soon and in thousands of college debt. Your channel and your relatable personality makes the video so enjoyable to watch and helps me not get overwhelmed with early adulthood.
I'd say the biggest myth of being an adult is you shed all the things you enjoyed in your youth, like hitting a certain age means you need to stop liking these things. Admittedly, it's an odd concept for me to think that one day I'll be much older and still watching, say, anime and enjoying the same genre of songs I do now but the thought of shedding all of that is even stranger. It's a part of me. It's who I am. And the idea that I should stop enjoying these things just because I'm a certain age is rather worrying.
Well, my hope for the future is those my age watching anime will be the new norm, like how my grandmother and mom love Law and Order, lol. "Oh my god, my mom watches nothing BUT anime like there's nothing else on! She's so old school! I love binging Law and Order: TPU VKB 9006 Redeux!"
Definitely a huge myth! So many people get so caught up in this warped idea of what maturity is and what is or isn't childish that they just stop enjoying anything.
Completely agree. Not to mention that some animes are geared towards mature audiences and actually tackle really interesting themes. I think I’ve researched fullmetal alchemist brotherhood about three times, all at different parts of my life. Probably when I was about 17, 20 and 23. I have gotten something different out of that show every single time.
@@mariakurtidis Clannad: After Story wins the Most Adult...and Heartbreaking award for me. I appreciated watching it as an adult and its relevancy, even with nuanced things like a blond anime character having to dye his hair back to black for his job. You wouldn't think of that as anime characters have such wild colors but that touch of realism was really great and truthful.
I think it helps to think about my grandparents and the fact that they still have a love for things they enjoyed in their youth.
@@abominablyawsm Thank you! For example, I was watching a man review items here on RUclips (Freakin' Reviews) and he was reviewing a product that quickly allowed you to fill water balloons. I'm 29 but if I could get enough adult friends together, I would really love to have a moment of doing a water balloon fight. Or laser tag. Or rollerblading (not that I've done that in ages but I can Rollerblade better than I can use regular skates). There's a lot of fun things I did as a kid that I'd hate to be barred from just because I'm an adult. Those with kids are a bit lucky though; it's a bit easier for parents to live vicariously through them, lol.
Great video! I still living at home, barely started saving a year ago and I'm turning 31 soon and never traveled outside the U.S. :( Needed this video today! Glad I'm not the only one that has these myths about adulthood :D
Pamela Chau We are in such a similar situation right now, you’re not alone and I’m glad you shared this because now I know I’m not alone in this. 🙂
Pamela Chau it’s the same for me. I’m 40
Thanks for this video Chelsea. You published at a perfect time where I was going through some of my own adult myths with my therapist today and unpacking some of the meaning. It’s been interesting over the past few years to unload, analyze and toss the toxic stuff. I think this also ties in with one myth that held back my confidence in finding my ideal job (and will hopefully land soon within a week, fingers crossed).
I also agree with you 100% on the finding-the-perfect-job-after-college pressure. I wanted to become a librarian and had to go to grad school. That never happened but I found a great career in tech that uses my BA in anthropology and can’t want to start working! And it’s only taken me 6 years out of college to do so, lol.
Thanks again for all your hard work at TFD. I love all your videos and I can’t wait to get your guys’ book and implement your steps once I get a steady income.
Chelsea's outfit is cute. Also, I like the point around the 14 min mark about not being afraid of confrontation. I am so not, but, I think it gets difficult when we live/work with people of other cultures or generations who just see things differently. So. I know for me, I end up not saying things simply because I don't feel like arguing or know they won't understand.
YES CHELSEA OMG. “At least everyone is faking it a little bit” was a huge eye opening lesson to me as an adult.
I love how you don't just give financial advice but also life tips and lessons. Thanks for this video! It was very helpful to me.
whenever i feel like im doing bad or im confused about my career i go here and i feel better and im reminded that im doing fine, you're like a mother i really need
I know it was written to be an exaggeration to really push your point but I actually have made the decision to pursue a career as a circus performer (whilst obviously setting myself up financially in case things go wrong) and it's something that I always find myself downplaying in conversation particularly with relatives as many of my uncles are academics or engineers - so anyway, not really sure what this comment aimed to achieve but i guess thank you just for saying those words and reminding me of an important truth :)
This video has been released at the perfect time for me. I've worried so much about a great many things and this advice is liberating.
Thank you so much for this video. A few days ago my friend told me that I was not an adult because I didn't own a car. I told her that I was struggling financially but she just told me to find another job like she did.
This is some great myth debunking. I really wish this channel had a podcast.
This was all stuff I already knew but it was all stuff I REALLY needed to hear right now. Especially the honesty does not equate to drama.
I so needed to hear number 4 I just graduated college and I'm looking for my first job. I'm so scared of having no idea what I'm doing but it's good to know I'm not the only one. The reason these milestones exist is because our parents lived in an better finical climate, they didn't have to go to school and could get a job where they could work their until they retired. They started their lives earlier than we did.
yo, Im 28 , I live a boat and will probably never live in a house, I love it! i am about to retain it willtake 4 years but will but makes really good financial sence!
I'm sixty-plus years old. The world in which my parents grew up is not the one I found myself in, and my world is not yours. It is not only OK to make your own way, it is unavoidable.
I love your dress.
I'm so glad you mentioned number seven. It took me a while to convince myself that I could be free to make decisions without feeling like I owed people an explanation.
I really needed this video! I just moved to NYC, straight from college and into an entry-level position in my goal career. I’ve found myself caught in all the traps that you mentioned and its been exhausting! Definitely going to try and be more mindful about these pitfalls in the future!
THANK YOU!! It is frustrating and annoying to justify why you dont want kids. You suddenly become less of an adult or human. That u want to be a kid forever and it isnt like that. We are just as much of an adult as a parent. I hope those near me will understand.
Though I want kids, I agree 100% with you.
I don't want kids, but I love looking after them and giving them back to their parents at the and of the day, but I don't want children and I'm certainly not void of responsibility. I think there's enough people in the world as it is, so anyone who tells me I'm selfish or wring I look at them in despair, I know I'm not wrong its my choice and its not hurting anyone. So I like your mind set, its healthy.
Spoiler alert - no matter if you have zero kids or 15 kids, people are always going to have an opinion. I have 1 kid and I get the, "When are you going to have another?!" but I have friends that have 3 kids and expecting another and get hit with, "Why are you having more?!!" People are assholes no matter the amount of kids involved.
It's definitely annoying for me too. From now on, I'm going to ask them why they need to know my business.
Thanks a lot Chelsea! It’s so relatable and growing up in a non first world country, these are the constant things you are judged upon even if you are in your 40s. Thanks for sharing your insight. Really really relieving. 😇
Hey Chelsea and Team! Absolutely loved this video.. I am also about the same age as Chelsea and have had similar experiences/realizations... So I can totally identify with these.. I would urge everyone to give up these limiting beliefs.. Life becomes incredibly free and peaceful!!
I completely agree. I always thought my parents were "weird" or "different" because they didn't have my brother until 31 and they didnt get a house until 34... but now I realize that adulthood doesn't have to be the same for anyone, and that it's a journey, not a race. Great video!
I am 18, i am about to study abroad, work and basically do the first steps on adulthood.
I am freaking scared😲
+cloudsofsunset Being of age is awesome, it gives you so much freedom (if you're not being suppressed by your parents in some way, and I really hope you're not!). "Adult things" are very often not only way easier than they seem but also - in my experience - less boring and tedious. When I was 20 and for the first time completely independent, I felt like I could do whatever I wanted to do. I knew I had to face the consequences that resulted from things like quitting my job and such and I knew I wasn't allowed to do illegal things, but since I never wanted to do illegal things this still meant I got to do whatever the hell I wanted.
First, you’re going to be fine. But also remember that fear is normal and natural. It’s ok to be afraid. Just don’t let that fear hold you back. :)
I feel ya, went study abroad when i was 17, scared to death but actually my idea of things were much more scary than the real deal, calm yourself and prepare, you can do this
Well, congrats one getting the opportunity to study abroad. You don't have to be afraid, everyone is nervous about going to another country. Welcome to the club, because I was offered a job to go to abroad and I'm only 22, This is also a big step for me too. You'll do just fine.
@@laurenconrad1799 thanks for the tip, definitely i won't let fear win my battle
Thank you for being more active lately with the videos Chelsea!
I think one of the important truth I learned is not to compare myself to others. Setting my own goals and determining my own happiness is what helped to make me an adult.
You are like my therapy and my adulthood for dummies! I'm so glad to find your channel, thank you so much
I always felt like i was behind on life, not being worthy because i didnt have a job, house, partner... a worthy life, more and more i feel like i dont have to be shy and shamed about telling my actual life story. I'm autistic, had to learn so many things that came natural to others and i had really low self esteem and didnt think i could do anything by myself. I've shed these misconceptions, thankfully
I used this Wealthsimple offer but found that it was only intended for the US market. Having said that, I've been using Wealthsimple in the UK for a couple of months and I'm very happy with their product and service.
This is great. My mentality has changed a lot from my teens/early 20s, I used to always be bitter about people's success because I felt I was just as deserving. I knew it wasn't OK to think that but when I heard someone was doing well, all I wanted to say was "Good for you, glad your life is going so well." Usually these people had 2 parent incomes and had more opportunities because they didn't have to worry about money. And I was also angry because they just didn't understand me when I said I couldn't afford something. I never blew my money, I am actually very good with it, but my savings vs their's was very different. It was just so small-minded of them. So I've always been so hell bent on money and stressed over it. I still am sort of irritated about the drastic difference between people's lives when they make different incomes, even socially.
"Not everyone has the same life path." But like you said, people are sometimes critical about what you are doing with your life because of these ancient standards of American Society. No one really ever factors in the cost of living and the changes that are clearly happening in society.
I still feel a bit old to have gotten my first car and driving license at 26. When it comes up in conversation, people are baffled. I just had a different childhood and after that, different priorities. Financially, I have never been ready to invest in a car. Its absolutely a necessity when you want to be able to go where you need/want to independently but the way I grew up, I saw it as a luxury. Most people got their first cars from parents, my mom couldn't do that for me but at least she put me through college as best she could. Unfortunately, each time I get that baffled look when I tell them about me having my first car at 26, I don't have time to explain my life story. You are just judged. I know you aren't supposed to care about what people think but those things come up and you kind of need to explain otherwise they think something is wrong with you, like you're irresponsible with money.
My mother used to be the cool mom, letting me go to concerts real young or letting me dye my hair. She educated me very well, even talking about her experiences with street life. But as soon as I started reach my late teens and early 20s, she became extremely controlling. As soon as I moved back from college, I had curfews all the way up until she moved to another state. I was 24 and I couldn't just stay over at a bf's house or friends house or I'd get a day long lecture. Before then, even her parents who are extremely conservative, told her that I was too sheltered. I'm definitely a smart woman, but now more than ever, I realize what they meant. It feels like I'm in the body of a 22yr old and people look/talk to me in such a way, too. I just got my first credit card too! Doesn't help that I don't look my age at all.
Regardless of it all, confidence is key. Easier said that done. And my philosophy now when I get upset about the way people think or act is just to remember that they probably don't know any better--so your best bet is to stay calm and educate them.
Absolutely love this! And you! ❤️❤️ Thank You for the information you provide!!
I totally agree with you the home thing. We do own a home but are selling it now to move. Even selling at a profit is a huge pain in the butt and dealing with a home sale slows any move. We will probably buy again but we are going to rent in our new city for awhile and make sure it’s a good fit for us before buying.
Thank you so much for this!! I’ve been a subscriber for a little over a year now. And I’ve always enjoyed your content.
I’m in my early 20s, recently hired for a exciting full time position at an office I interned at and I’m basically trying to get my life in order as quickly as possible. And I’ll admit I’ve believed and fallen into these myths. I can say that having a support system of people to hold me accountable has helped me be more aware to not do it. However I appreciate information when it’s short and straight to the point. This is exactly what I needed to hear right now, so again thank you!
Lots of love from LA💕
oh my god! why haven't i hear this sooner! i had been restless n mentally drained from questioning myself if im competent or not, even thou i had just started my career as film special effect makeup artist... i somehow believe that i should have known it all, n blame my self for not knowing things... this helps me alot... thank u girl, this video is really helpful
The not wanting children thing can become SO heated. People feel entitled to have all sorts of opinions about that, and the "bingos" can be pretty awful. I'm lucky that I never really received any grief for not wanting kids (and at 40, people have FINALLY stopped asking about it, sheesh), but I know it's not that way for everyone. Good for you for knowing yourself.
Every highschool NEEDS to show this to kids. This is everything I realized in my 20's that I really wish I had heard back then. So many unrealistic expectations are set for teenagers.
this is one of my favorite videos you've done! thank you!
I feel like I need to watch this video every morning to remind myself that I don’t owe anyone an explanation and I need to focus on myself and my goals
I feel the same.
The stuff at 10:30 hit me in the feels
I needed this. 🙌🏼🙌🏼 this video should be shown in college courses.
I don't really agree with the first point. A lot of the people I follow but don't talk to on social media were very important in my life at one point. Just because we have drifted doesn't mean we are no longer friends. I have contacted friends after having not talked to them in over 10 years and rekindled the the relationships, and there are others I hope to talk to again when/if our lives allow it again. Social media allows me to keep up with where they are in their lives and support them on their path without the need to invest so much in a relationship I may not be able to in the moment
This is true. Social media has helped me personally in really keeping up with peoples lives. But I think what she's trying to say goes back to that one point: very few people truly care about you (and vice versa). Social media is a great way to "feel" connected, but at the end of the day, being "friends" on FB or Instagram with a few hundred people means very little. The reality is that I know and care about very few of them (and I know they feel the same way about me). Otherwise, we'd hang out together in real life more often.
I have to agree. I get the sentiment that she was trying to convey, but it was a bit cutthroat when she said to cut people out of your social networks who don't add value to your life. Just like with real life relationships, you don't need to converse with your social networks daily, weekly, monthly. It is just nice to have access to them. No need to purge them because they don't "have value."
Yeah the friends I have in social media are old friends that I don't live near anymore. I like that I can still keep up with them because of social media.
Agree 💯; that's what I thought. It's one of the benefits of social media.
I think for a lot of people its about realising who when you see their posts you feel joy and warmth in regards to the person and those who have a negative effect on how you feel, I agree I have friends who I speak with very infrequently but love seeing that their doing well, are happy etc. But I know that there are some people that I was fantastic friends with in high school but now have nothing in common with so theres no need for me to put energy in to those friendships. I think a lot of people struggle with the whole quality vs quantity thing.
I'm Brazilian and yesterday it came out that 20% less driver's licenses were released than 10 years ago in our country, and the conclusion was that we are a irresponsible generation that doesn't want to drive our own cars and that's why public transportation in big cities is in so bad shape.
It took for me a long time to realize that having a car doesn't mean I'm an adult. I was born in a town that is a Brazilian Detroit and my whole family work in the car industry. But I had a car and it made me more dependent - of parking spots, and financially - than independent, and my adult decision was getting rid of it.
That's a pretty weird conclusion. It is good for the environment, if people use public transportation. And car accidents are still one of the biggest reasons, why people get killed every year. What about people who have medical conditions that don't allow them to drive? Also, having a big demand for public transportation isn't an excuse for a bad service. Countries like Switzerland, Japan and many others have a huge demand for public transportation as well and they can handle it, despite the fact that the climate and weather there can be pretty challenging at times, especially during winter, when there is tons of snow. So no offence to you, my friend, but to me that sounds more like one of the typical bullshit excuses some politicians in Brazil tend to make, in order to not get things done.
Yes yes yes to #8! I just had a work experience where I realized I needed to be open and vulnerable with my colleagues, and it was very illuminating. Also, signed up for wealth simple! :)
I needed this video today really really badly. Thank you so incredibly much for making this. I definitely love this style of video; I think people underestimate how much their mental health and preconceptions about life in general directly and indirectly influence their finances. Also, please don't be afraid to cover the same topics more than once. I know I appreciate repetition and reminders to help me reassess if I've changed anything since the first time I heard it!!
I love these videos. It's like having a big sister giving advice I need to hear as a female in her early 20's.
Really enjoyed this video! I’m about to hit 30 too and this was a good reminder that I shouldn’t compare my accomplishments with others.
You’ve mentioned the the things I’ve been experiencing in my adult life. Thanks for addressing them.
These videos are GOLD ❤️
I love Chelsea and her attitude towards life. You inspire me to stop talking shit from people.
This isn't a personal finance channel this is an enlightenment channel
This one was soooo good, Chelsea! Thank you so much!! I loved especially the third and the one where you said "you dont owe explanation to anyone" [ps: I am also with you on the kid matter. I think/behave the same and I very much aim to change that! The same time: let me whisper that: its not just our fault/characteristic that we act this way. It is social pressure that you CAN totally feel implicitely being conveyed to you. I majored in Sociology, we studied that.] Lots of hugs from Austria and Hungary!
I strongly recommend that you limit your social media circle to people you are ACTUALLY friends with IRL. It makes a world of difference!
I wish I could go back and give myself this video 5 years ago. It's so good to hear thank you
I love all your advice. You are great. You have helped me immensely make big life decisions and feeling at peace with them. I can't thank you enough. 🤗🌲
I really needed to hear this. I’ve been debating looking for a new job/changing career fields but I’ve been afraid to because I’m complacent...
This video is chalk full of wisdom. Wow, thank you so much for this! Subbed!!
Make a video on how to save money as students, would be useful since many of your viewers are probably students
"Office-slash-guest room" clever! I might do the same when I move out with the s.o.
That's right! I thought Chelsea was my friend and had my best interests in mind. But let's be honest, it's just the social media effect
Could you make a video about wills and common misconceptions about them?
This was super informative and definitely needed! Great information!
Hey Chelsea! Wealthsimple only works in the UK, USA and Canada. Do you know of any alternatives for people in other parts of the world? I personally live in Italy, but it could be helpful for anyone anywhere :)
Yes! Thank you! (Someone from south Africa here)
I was just about to look up if it was available in Australia. That's unfortunate :(
Me in the Philippines but Investing in this country is so hard, that I might go to a fortune teller to tell which stoxk market to invest in.
Hello !! I recently discovered your channel and it has been so interesting and helpful at the same time !! I wanted to start with wealthsimple but I couldn't make it because I don't live in the U.S. Is it just for U.S residents? I live in Argentina. Thanks for the videos you are sharing, best regards. Mar
When I was in my teens and early teens my aunt and sometimes my mom were trying to fix me up. They thought it was unnatural for a girl that age to not date. I think my aunt is disappointed that I never married or had children!
Girl! I just love EVERY ONE of your videos!! As always - THIS WAS EXCELLENT and soooo needed!
Love this video!! Can you guys do a video on good books to read that have shifted the way you approached aspects of your life and finances? I think it would be extremely helpful! :)
This is fantastic Chelsea. Thank you!
I didn't know I needed this video 😏
Thanks Chelsea ☺
Chelsea, thanks so much for such a helpful video chock full of such great advice. #3 in particular hit home for me - I've spent two years making a pretty painful transition to an industry that most people start getting into while still undergrads. At 26, I often feel like I'm spinning my wheels and won't ever take off with my new career, and that I'm behind in my savings or my level of seniority, even if I know the transition was the right thing to do and I'd hate having stayed in my old industry (marketing). Thanks putting it so well, it's great to hear outside validation about changing careers being a good idea
I am thinking of changing my career path, and your #3 is totally trueeee!!!! And inspiring!!!
"if you ever feel like at your job you have 100% confidence and are never challenged by it or put out of your comfort zone, you should probably leave that job."
This really applies only to non safety jobs. As an Air Traffic Controller, I cherish the fact that after years on the job I can make hundreds of life or death decisions each shift without feeling out of my comfort zone. As a former pilot I felt the same after years of experience. I would hazard to guess there are many safety, health care, and operational jobs where this also applies. This is a common theme in the world, career advise is really only offered for those in a certain office size scope.
Started college classes today
You go Clayton! Have a great first day.📚😎
Thanks for the video! Do you have a link to the book you briefly mentioned?
UGH that top is GORGEOUS
Yeah I feel guilty for doing something different than I initially went to school for because like you said it's like an unspoken rule you don't switch
I want to invest, but I'm from Portugal, and wealthsimple isn't an option for me.
What are other options?
Hey! I tried Wealthsimple but they are not avaible in Austria :(. Could you please do a video for investing op. in Europe? Like most of the apps and sites are not avaible in Europe and I really want to start investing!!! Keep up the good work :)
As a college student this was so awesome to hear. #Loveyourvideostfd
I really need this. Thank you.
*the whole video I was just thinking "PREACH IT WOMAN!!"*
Good :) Keep doing this great job, thank you for all of your videos!
If you live in the town I grew up in and around the people I grew up around, they may in fact be paying a lot of attention to you. My cousin lives 45 min away. She had to drive through our hometown on the way to somewhere else. She stopped for a drink at a grocery store. It was reported to her mother within five minutes. Iam 42, and my parents are not on social media of any kind, but my posts get reported back to my parents on occasion. My other relatives, some older than me, tattletale on me. It really all depends on your environment and how much other people feel that they are "owed" your business.
Love this video Chelsea! Thank you :)
Awesome video! Thanks for this TFD :)
This was so great!! Thank you, so inspirational.
Awesome video! Great content! Thanks!
This was so good Chelsea, thank you for the reminders :)
The most useful video ever youngsters need to watch !!!💕💕💕💕