The vest/hair combo makes you look one of those matter-of-fact tour guides who offhandedly mentions that they've wrestled a tourist out of a crocodiles jaws and shrugs it off like it's nbd.
1. Know when to use a credit card 2. Living on your own when you can’t afford it 3. Staying in a job you don’t love, because of prestige 4. Going to a “real” college 5. Driving a car after accidents 6. Having toxic friends 7. Giving up financial safety to pursue dreams 8. Getting married before you’re ready
Thanks! Sometimes I wish she'd give a summary, I fast forward through 90% of her videos because she usually repeats the same stories/advice and I like the bullet points and data. :/
Might be a year late, but number 2 is necessary when you have a suffocating or even abusive family. It's also beneficial even if you have an alright family. It basically to learn independence and have full control of yourself, being out of your comfort zone. It's not wasting your money if you value independence and self-reliance. living your own provide a greater learning experience for "adulting" than living with the comfort of your parents' home. You pay your own bills, cook your own food, those are only the daily stuff. But there's also how to manage your finance, more motivated and creative in getting more money. I personally regret that I didn't start earlier.
I love how you emphasize being a "fully formed woman" (career, independence, able to care for oneself) confident in her independence before making the huge decision of marriage. INSPIRATIONAL! YES!
I fell in love young, at around 17. I married that man after I finished my 2 short years of college, and he found a stable place in the military, and we have now been married for years. I have never really questioned anything about our marriage to this day, mostly because we were both realistic about the future. We figured we would both eventually lose those lovey feelings, which fade much faster than you think they do, and instead focused our marriage on our existing partnership, agreeing that building wealth and a life together with someone we care for is more important than continuously chasing fleeting romance hoping to find some elusive "one". We're content, have great sexual chemistry, and are great at completing projects and tasks as a team. Although we jumped in young, I would never trade my youthful yet contentful marriage for anything else. The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence, it's just spray painted that way.
Katilyn Whitson I think it's not about age. It's more about who you both are, how mature you both are and the commitment of both parties. Saddly most people are not ready until much later in life.
Katilyn Whitson It depends on 2 people, not what society says. Some people are ready at 18, while for some it's 40+, and for some it's just never. Just do what's right for you.
That’s so reassuring to hear & I completely agree with you. I met my significant other at 16 & We will be planning our wedding soon. I guess I’ll be one of those people who marry young (before 25) 😅. I feel like its been a wonderful journey watching us both develop emotionally, financially & support each other to pursue our dreams 💕
Welp moving back in with parents is also a cost.. having to deal with them parenting your decisions, telling them where you’re going, or if you have a lot of siblings no freedom no space.. living on my own is worth it for my well-being and mental health I just can’t do that one
At a very young 60 years old, I am absolutely loving your channel. It would be great if you could expand your content to include videos that address issues of concern for women in middle and later years.
The use of statistics regarding marriage age and earnings of women is flawed. The statistics do not suggest that a woman who waits longer to marry will make more, but rather that a women who makes more will typically get married later. Its a correlation/causation type misinterpretation. Similar to the study where it was found that marriages later in life are more likely to succeed, the researchers who led these studies have noted that the act of delaying marriage is not what produces benefits, but rather the difference in outcome (salary) is based on the type of people who engage in the different activities. Researchers in similar studies have explicitly noted that there is no statistical increase in salary or marriage longevity if a couple meets at a younger age and delays marriage (based on popular statistics they hear about marriage, like the ones in this video). Nothing against how you you made your choices, just wanted to clear up that stat so there wasn't a misunderstanding.
Regardless of which causes which, women who wait until later in life have less fiscal burdens, more independence, are often happier and more complete, choose better mates, and often make more money. The end is the more important then the path to that end game and the end game is to wait until you're really honest to god 100% really ready or your life will be less then it could be. Maybe you're ready at 22, but that really unlikely, considering how many marriages is the USA that were made before 27 (female's age) end in divorce, but everyone is ready at a different time the point is to wait until you're ready in every aspect of your life for a partner.
Katherine Petersorf thats just statistically not true. Around the 2 year mark is the most successful waiting time for marriages. Women with fulltime careers are more likely to get divorced, compared to women who have a part time job or stay at home, and a recent study also showed homemakers are one of the most happy categories of women in the US. Sure, homemaking isn’t for everyone, but what you said was just plain false.
Important to remember that if you are moving back with your parents to at least offer to pay some rent and bills. Don’t forget they too have financial burdens and might not have budgeted for you to stay at home in your 20s. It’s not simply your decision.
I thought that was what everyone did?? Like you live there too and you're an adult, so you contribute to living expenses and things like cleaning and cooking, at least that's ow it's always been in my house
A lot of parents wouldn't accept money from their children (especially if they are financially secure). But then of course you should contribute in other way (e.g., buy and cook food for everyone, buy some appliances or equipment) that they have no way of refusing.
So you'd financially blackmail your parents for not aborting you? How about that parents should be understanding of their children's needs but also encourage them to GROW by being financially responsible? Or at least that the kids can do something around the house in return for free room and board?
Laura Tárkányi lol Parents should also prepare their children for life. One day these adult children will be without their parents. Helping is nice, but after 18, parents are not responsible for 100% of their child's expenses. 😆
I don't understand the issue/compulsion Americans have with moving out as soon as they can. I am from Buenos Aires, and usually people move out way after collage, with a good stable job and a solid sum of savings. It is usually around 27/28 years old. For some is a little older.
abril561 I'm from Eastern Europe and it's the same for us. People do not move out until they either get married, decide to do so because they have finished school and have successful careers, or simply don't get along with their families. Yeah, you still pay some rent once you have a job but I'd pick my siblings and parents as "roommates" any day over some strangers.
It depends on your home. The West really pushes the idea of being super independent! There is a great emphasis on doing things alone. Also, I am from the UK and where cost of buying a house as a young person in the capital is basically almost impossible! Many are having to live at home a lot longer than they would have liked.
27 and single. I've seen abusive (physically, mentally, financially) relationships. I'm totally ok with (hopefully) meeting Mr right later in life, and it being a healthy relationship.
Yes, I love your outlook on this. I know a few that are 26 or younger and on their second marriage. So yes, if it's not right please wait to get married.(:
Chelsea Dau i met my husband in 2014 after being in some relationships that were good but just didn‘t feel right for a „whole life“. I was 28 at that time and not stressed to find anyone at all.
I'm sorry you've been abused, but a healthy relationship can come at any point in life... just because you meet them 'later' in life, doesn't mean it's any better of a relationship than people who get married younger.
I'm moving to Hawaii in June for a huge career jump. I'm planning by budget and it's pretty difficult. I love these videos for this next life change! I'm female, 26, college educated, no debt and a great credit score. I feel I'm super on top of my life with solid knowledge and these videos reassure me.
#6 - choosing your friends and ditching toxic friends - is a MAJOR positive change that really deserves a video all to itself. It may sound harsh, but life really does get lots better when you begin selectively choosing your friends.
This video is golden! Especially the friendship and social media part. It’s not necessary easy following your own path but absolutely crucial to live your best life.
Idk why people feel bad about living with their parents. I’m proud of living at home right now because not only was it responsible as I rebuild my life but it’s also a great opportunity to help my Mum out, I contribute financially, I help her out around the house which she needs because she has arthritis in her hip, and I get to bond with her as an adult. I’m going to leave again after her hip replacement but it will have been a couple of years that I will value forever.
@@miriamchalmovianska863 I actually did move out since then, and then my mum moved in with her mum for similar mutual benefit. I now live with my best friend who’s struggling with health issues and needed some help towards independence and so did I in terms of the emotional connection and support. I’ve been talking with my mum about living together again in some way after nana passes. Possibly in community with the person I’m dating. My mum and I value our time together hugely, it’s actually pretty miserable to me that the amount of time people spend with their parents after they ‘flee the nest’ tends to be so little in our day and age, we’re not birds.
@@miriamchalmovianska863 You are missing the point, it’s about honoring your parents by helping them and spending time with them as an adult and developing that relationship Just shut up about things you don’t understand until you become less of a judgmental moron ✌🏼
Be thankful your parents' financial stability allowed you to move back in. It wasn't "free" to house you. This is not mean spirited, just a reality check.
Agreed. I also lucked out because my mother could afford to have me live with her rent-free and didn't have the "gtfo because you're eighteen and I need to retire" mentality many parents have.
100% this. I know many people who live at home who are no better off than if they didn’t because their parents require significant financial assistance
She didn't say she hasn't shared the costs of food, energy and so on. And when it comes to owning the house, people do not pay more for some extra person - so they do not lose money, unless they would be renting the room, but I suppose if they were up to do this, they would have done it by the time. Although they may like loosing kind of freedom as well as the children.
Actually it is free to house someone if you have the space, extra bed and that sort of thing. I took in my friend when his parents kicked him out and it costs $0 extra for him to stay with me. If you have to rent a bigger place or buy more bedding or use more electricity then yeah, it is more expensive, but this isn't the case usually.
Maha I Yes I’m staying at home through college as well since it’s cheaper & gives me a chance to work on my depression. I’m sure it will be good for us. Good luck with College 😉😘❤️
there's nothing shameful staying at home through college. im sure some people hearing about it are a bit jealous because you spend less money that way ;) Where i'm from, staying at home with your parents till you get married is seen as ok, especially if you're a woman. [though i think women would expect men to move out because they don't want to have a 'woman's traditional role' in the relationship, if they move in together.] stay strong in college and focus on your studies - they're more important than living on your own just 'to fit in' ;)
I only have one parent still alive and I never had the option to move back in. People who can live with their parents don't realize how lucky they really are. As far as owning a car, I live in Sacramento, where you definitely need a car to get around. Yes, owning a car is expensive, but I wouldn't be able to go to work or get around without it.
the reason why i love thins channel is that from the experience she mentions she seems to have been the exact same kind of mess I am right now and seeing where she comes from and where she is now reassures and inspires me and i take notes to see how i can go to a point where I'm happy with myself
I am glad I didn't marry my husband sooner, too. We got married after 7 years and it gave us all the tools to deal with married life and its responsibilities. By the time we got married, it had become a formality. I refused to go back to my parents' house, because I knew my parents didn't have the means to help me and they had to take care of my younger sisters. So, even if it meant "losing" money, I still think it was a good decision never asking for financial support or help after moving out.
Mary Temple Yes and good on her that she did. I wish for everyone to have good relations with their parents. I had that option too after I moved out but would never move back in with them.
True but if you don’t, look for special opportunities to come your way. Some people get long term pet sitting jobs like I did, some find free rent at churches in exchange for setting up chairs and cleaning, some have an uncle or a friend who has a place to rent for cheap, and some join the army. Sometimes there are people who just want to rent to someone they know, and are willing to give you a discount. Keep your eyes and ears open and put the word out there, in case the opportunity comes your way. I told my friend the advice to be open to her own opportunities and jump on it immediately, and like a month later she got an apartment for 2 people for less than $300/month. I think it was $275? It was in a good neighborhood too, and within walking distance of everything so she didn’t need a car.
I know of two: one is a Lutheran church that has a Luther House for college students - they put up two students in the house in exchange for stuff like opening the house for fellowship and ministry events, cleaning and checking the mail, and participating in/leading student functions such as the free dinners they serve once a week. They've put up two students per year for at least 15 years now. The other is an old Methodist church that has an apartment built into the basement of the church, and they give free rent to a student for all of college, in exchange for setting up tables and chairs and unlocking the doors on Sundays and for special events. I hope you can find one of these opportunities!
Same. Although, my situation is likely very different from yours. I was brought up by a single mother and when she had a stroke, I had no choice but to take care of her while going to school.
I graduated college a year ago and still live with my parents, but it’s free rent and I’m saving for a house one day and plan to go back to get my masters 🤷🏻♀️ no shame here
Its really generous of your family to let you stay rent free. I am moving back to my parents in a few months, in my Chinese culture, we typically live with parents untill marriage, as soon as we get a job, it is encoraging to pay living expences for the family, not rent. Like buying lunch, paying for dinner, getting utilities fee done, and paying holiday expense as a form of appriciation toward the family.
Great video! I have to disagree on one of your last points though. I completely agree that waiting to get married is a smart decision, however I don't agree with how your justify it. Who is this "fully formed person" you speak of? Its not as if you turn 30 and suddenly become your "true" self and stop growing personally. The idea that you self-actualize and THEN find a partner is dangerous because it encourages the idea that, rather than growing and changing WITH your partner you must simply find the perfect partner. I think it encourages this mindset of a rigid identity within a relationship that is likely to cause problems when one or the other partner inevitably changes. So yes, don't rush into marriage, but not because you have to become your one true self, but rather because at a young age it simply isn't practical.
Edit: On marriage: I didn't come out as lesbian until I was 24, and still haven't started my dating life in earnest at 27. (Grad school! It's time consuming!) Anyway, I think a lot of LGBT+ folks have this sense of feeling 10-15 years behind the curve when it comes to relationships. Do shit on your own time! So glad I wasn't dating when I didn't even know myself.
To add to the point about moving back in with your parents, you're also very lucky if you can! My parents abused me and I was removed from their care as a kid, so I have to be self-reliant and have had to be since I was 16 but, no matter how bad anything gets, I don't have that fall back
I totally agree with you about staying with your parents before going to another big jump in your life. If I hadn't stayed with my parents before going to Japan, I wouldn't have any savings with me for my tuition fee and living expenses. By the way, I love your videos! Keep it up!
There were interesting points made in this video. Everyone has their individual journey. Most of my friends lived with their parents until 25. I wasn’t in a rush to move at all either. I can’t speak upon other Americans. Personally, I moved from my parents home at 25, married at 26, after being together for 7 years. Now my spouse and I been married for 3 years almost 4, currently making 6 figures, I believe we’re doing well for young 29 year olds but we have a longgggggg way to go. I thought we married at a decent age given how young my grandparents, aunts, and uncle married.
This was honestly exactly what I needed to hear, I was already doing most of the right things for me but was so afraid and wandering if I was right, this made me more confident in my choices, thank you!
Absolutely love you and your videos. You always bring home the fact one needs to focus on the bigger picture and life progression not everyone else’s perception. Which is so valid as social media makes it seem like other people’s perceptions of ones life is the only thing that matters even though in reality they are meaningless.
I really want to say thank you to the creators of this video, like the rest of this channel its really increased my understanding of my money, which is absolute gold (and often hidden knowledge) for women like me. Thanks again!
1. having a credit card before i could handle it 2. paying to live on my own when I couldn't afford it 3. staying in a career path i didn't love because it felt prestigious 4. going to "real" college when i wanted to 5. driving a car after my accidents 6. staying friends with people who made me feel badly about myself 7. foregoing financial safety to "follow my dreams" 8. getting married before i was ready
I’m a little annoyed about the marriage statistics you mentioned, because a lot of that can be explained via moderating and mediating factors. It’s not a direct cause-effect relationship.
Love these videos!! The more I watch the more aligned I feel with Chelsea until learning that she majored in IR (which I'm hoping to study next year) how ironic!!
This was sosososo good to watch, I'm still living at home and going to a community college, I also went for International Relations and I couldn't afford moving or the 4h commute everyday so I had to change career path, stay home and go for something I could actually afford. THANK YOU FOR SHARING THIS
Im in my mid/late 20s and I live with my parents. You couldn't have said it better because I am saving so much money! I plan on moving out in about a year and ive had the opportunity to save more than enough money to do so (living in NYC! You know how it is)
Thank you for this video! It really made me feel better about a lot of things, and also made me realize how lucky I was when I got my first credit card with a low limit - having my parents making sure that I always got the payments in on time. ALSO: “Education is what you get out of it, not what it looks like” YES!
I already had a Roth IRA and a nice amount in my 401K before I got married. In my marriage, it was the opposite of what she stated. I grew up poor in a single parent household and my mother had no retirement accounts whatsoever. So it was extremely important to me to have a retirement account when I started working. My husband didnt pay attention to his retirement contributions until we got married. he saw how much I had compared to how much he had. It lit a fire under him that he had to get his retirement finances in order. When I met with my financial advisor, with my savings and assets, I'll be in the green if I was single. If I add my husband in there, we will be in the red.
Thank you on number 5. On not driving. I almost can't believe what you said. I used to have bad self esteem because I still don't know how to drive (and nor do I miss driving at all) but at least I don't need to handle the exorbitant car parks, or killing people on the road or being stuck in a jam during peak hours. I think having just one car between me and my husband is the smartest thing to do.
I really appreciate this video. I am nearing high school graduation and I am really just trying to figure out how to start my adult life in a responsible and fulfilling way.
I went to CC instead of a university. It saved me sooooo much money. I was able to work full time as a data entry clerk for 1 summer, and saved up for 4 out of my 5 semesters.
When you covered how much rent in New York cost a question popped into my brain. Why do you stay in New York city when you have an online business and could live in a less expensive area?
I also studied International Relations, a major I love but the experience in the country I live in is limited. I love this video! Thank you so much for the insight and motivation!
I had to move back in with my parents for just 3 months and it was such a struggle. It really does take a lot psychologically to not go back to acting like your teenage self and having that child-dynamic with your parents when you're back in your teenage bedroom and at home all the time.
Thanks, this video gave me the final push I needed to make the decision to give up my apartment and move back home. My job requires a lot of travel and flexibility that I just couldn’t afford while hanging onto an apartment.
Regarding the car thing: Unless you live in NYC or similar, living without a car may be nearly impossible unless you don't mind occasionally being a burden on others.
I loved my Community College, I joined a bunch of clubs and was able to travel for free (competitions and volunteering) to so many states and even another country!
I was so ready to hear about her financial frivolity buying white blouse+green vest combos, getting Alex Borstein haircuts and living amongst guerrillas in the wilderness, that i totally blacked out the information in this video
I teach at a community college and work at a large traditional university. The community college has FANTASTIC resources for students. Teaching there is so much fun and I see the other instructors working more with students to ensure their success. The large uni is fun, but students can slip away.
I lived in the NY suburbs most of my life while constantly going into New York City and knowing that I would eventually live there. I also have severe driving phobia. I asked my dad if he was disappointed that I didn’t drive. He said, do you know how much money we all save with you not driving? Not just the car but the maintenance and the insurance, which blows up if you have someone young driving.
In regards to your last point, I'm so grateful to have women in my life (my mom and my grandma) who are so good financially. Even as my grandma is beginning to lose her memory, it's so interesting to see the shift from my grandpa trying to take over the books from her because he's never had to do it. I would also love to point out that my grandma's education stopped halfway through grade 8. And that's not to say that education is not important, but rather that if you're willing to make those changes and put the time into learning a skill it is doable. While it looks good on paper to have a college or university degree there are some skills you can learn or advance without shelling out tons of money to go to school.
I think the community college choice is so important. To this day, I still sometimes feel like a lower-class student because I did not attend a traditional university; in reality, I saved tens of thousands of dollars by attending community college before transferring to an online university. I have always been told the real value of having that "traditional" college experience is the relationships you build with classmates, but that is something that can be built at community college, as well. Plus, I have been able to work full-time while attending college, so I've made many important connections through work, too!
I just found your channel and I don't even know how I got here but I'm glad I did. I'm loving your videos, it's opening my eyes for a lot of things that I thought I should do and looking now, I have a different mind. Thank you 💕
I also got married at 29 last October 😁 I'm really glad I didn't earlier, because if I had, I would be with a chronically depressed human being with a very controlling family. We're still friends and although I really appreciate the friendship I sometimes think to myself "Nothing changed, they didn't learn anything from their mistakes, still the same miserable human who ignores problems". Besides the different partner, I totally agree with your points on that topic!
Very interesting topic. My husband and I (both Gen Xer’s) work with many Millennials who are saddled with so much college debt by “experiencing the college life”while racking up 6 figures of debt. many can’t afford the homes they want or postpone getting married because of it. We did things differently than them and you as well. I feel our choices and mistakes took us on different paths and presented us with different financial choices along the way. Life experiences and failures helped us make smarter financial decisions. Where as you waited to marry, we instead waited to have kids and married quickly. It was just the right path for us. Where you moved back in with your parents, we lived on Ramen and Block buster movies while taking night classes and working full time. Everyone has different unique financial choices. TYFS your choices. Hopefully those who watch can pick what works for them in their lives. Wishing you a long and happy marriage
I made 70% of these. Im good, surprisingly. Reassuring that many of my peers who didnt make these same mistakes still struggle financially. I went for prestige program and wasted money in loans on a track I didnt like. I went to University-Community College-University. I quit my job because it was draining, not paying me for advanced work and to pursue my dream. Although it’s been uncomfortable it hasn’t been horrible. I have learned a lot about myself. Always ways to heal from these mistakes. Please make a video on that. Most of this was about having the privilege (financial or educational) to avoid these pitfalls.
I put myself through grad school living with my parents, and it was the best financial decision ever. I paid out of pocket for a $31,000 degree and bought a $5,000 car with cash. I was never home anyways, and when I was, I did chores for them, and so they loved having me home! I had money to treat myself that others didn’t. I went over to friend’s houses to do things my parents would disapprove of. Also, I bought adult stuff for myself online during the Christmas season and told them not to open any packages because it might be for them, and it worked.
I've had a credit card since I was 18 and I paid it off every paycheck. I liked it because banks charge for transactions. I anything I saved a lot of money in 12 years. I will never be in debt of any kind.
These are all interesting points but not all are equally generalizeable. In particular, you mention beginning undergrad at a community college, but this presumes the introductory courses at community colleges is equivalent to those at a university. This assumption may not always hold true and should you enter a field with a cumulative training schema eg science, math, you may put yourself at a chronic disadvantage compared to your peers and this disadvantage becomes compounded as detail is added to a shaky foundation in the basics.
Unless you have a rent subsidy program, like my husband does. Our rent for a studio apartment in Chicago is normally over 1,200 each month. We pay 300,our subsidy pays the rest.
A friend of mine makes good money as a pharmaceutical researcher, but he drives a 1990 Toyota Corolla and lives with his parents. I once asked him why, and he said it was because he was saving to buy a house (which is very expensive here in the SF Bay area).
I don't think there's really an age for marriage, it all depands on how mature you both are & how your'e dealing with life. Me & my husband were together for 10 years before we got married (at 24) ❤️. I actually don't want to "know how to live alone" etc... that sound depressing.
Living with your parents is super common in other countries too. In Australia students usually stay with family through uni. I only lived on my own twice. I got a tiny apt to escape an abusive boyfriend which was very financially straining but I'm glad I did it. Then when I got my first grown up job... at 30... I did so again thinking I was too old but that forced me to live paycheck to paycheck. In hindsight I wish I'd moved out with a friend earlier.
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The vest/hair combo makes you look one of those matter-of-fact tour guides who offhandedly mentions that they've wrestled a tourist out of a crocodiles jaws and shrugs it off like it's nbd.
1. Know when to use a credit card
2. Living on your own when you can’t afford it
3. Staying in a job you don’t love, because of prestige
4. Going to a “real” college
5. Driving a car after accidents
6. Having toxic friends
7. Giving up financial safety to pursue dreams
8. Getting married before you’re ready
Gabe A god bless you man
Thanks! Sometimes I wish she'd give a summary, I fast forward through 90% of her videos because she usually repeats the same stories/advice and I like the bullet points and data. :/
Thanks!! I would have been annoyed if I had to watch the living on your own part because some of us HAD NO CHOICE 😉
Might be a year late, but number 2 is necessary when you have a suffocating or even abusive family. It's also beneficial even if you have an alright family. It basically to learn independence and have full control of yourself, being out of your comfort zone. It's not wasting your money if you value independence and self-reliance. living your own provide a greater learning experience for "adulting" than living with the comfort of your parents' home. You pay your own bills, cook your own food, those are only the daily stuff. But there's also how to manage your finance, more motivated and creative in getting more money. I personally regret that I didn't start earlier.
Pursue dreams, always. What you gonna regret more at your dead bed? Giving up financial safety or chasing your dreams?
27, single and no man in sight! I might as well work on myself until he finally arrives one day and even if he doesn't, I will be okay! :)
I love how you emphasize being a "fully formed woman" (career, independence, able to care for oneself) confident in her independence before making the huge decision of marriage. INSPIRATIONAL! YES!
I fell in love young, at around 17. I married that man after I finished my 2 short years of college, and he found a stable place in the military, and we have now been married for years. I have never really questioned anything about our marriage to this day, mostly because we were both realistic about the future. We figured we would both eventually lose those lovey feelings, which fade much faster than you think they do, and instead focused our marriage on our existing partnership, agreeing that building wealth and a life together with someone we care for is more important than continuously chasing fleeting romance hoping to find some elusive "one". We're content, have great sexual chemistry, and are great at completing projects and tasks as a team. Although we jumped in young, I would never trade my youthful yet contentful marriage for anything else.
The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence, it's just spray painted that way.
Katilyn Whitson I think it's not about age. It's more about who you both are, how mature you both are and the commitment of both parties. Saddly most people are not ready until much later in life.
Comment of the week!!!!! Beautiful !!!!!!!
Katilyn Whitson It depends on 2 people, not what society says. Some people are ready at 18, while for some it's 40+, and for some it's just never. Just do what's right for you.
That's beautiful and so maturely put. Good for you!
That’s so reassuring to hear & I completely agree with you. I met my significant other at 16 & We will be planning our wedding soon. I guess I’ll be one of those people who marry young (before 25) 😅. I feel like its been a wonderful journey watching us both develop emotionally, financially & support each other to pursue our dreams 💕
Welp moving back in with parents is also a cost.. having to deal with them parenting your decisions, telling them where you’re going, or if you have a lot of siblings no freedom no space.. living on my own is worth it for my well-being and mental health I just can’t do that one
At a very young 60 years old, I am absolutely loving your channel. It would be great if you could expand your content to include videos that address issues of concern for women in middle and later years.
The use of statistics regarding marriage age and earnings of women is flawed. The statistics do not suggest that a woman who waits longer to marry will make more, but rather that a women who makes more will typically get married later.
Its a correlation/causation type misinterpretation. Similar to the study where it was found that marriages later in life are more likely to succeed, the researchers who led these studies have noted that the act of delaying marriage is not what produces benefits, but rather the difference in outcome (salary) is based on the type of people who engage in the different activities. Researchers in similar studies have explicitly noted that there is no statistical increase in salary or marriage longevity if a couple meets at a younger age and delays marriage (based on popular statistics they hear about marriage, like the ones in this video).
Nothing against how you you made your choices, just wanted to clear up that stat so there wasn't a misunderstanding.
And also that the older a women is when she gets married, the later she'll have kids which heavily impacts her finances.
Regardless of which causes which, women who wait until later in life have less fiscal burdens, more independence, are often happier and more complete, choose better mates, and often make more money. The end is the more important then the path to that end game and the end game is to wait until you're really honest to god 100% really ready or your life will be less then it could be. Maybe you're ready at 22, but that really unlikely, considering how many marriages is the USA that were made before 27 (female's age) end in divorce, but everyone is ready at a different time the point is to wait until you're ready in every aspect of your life for a partner.
I mean, your logic is flawed to, unless you have some additional source that support your claim.
40% of babies are born outside of wedlock sooooooooo...
Katherine Petersorf thats just statistically not true. Around the 2 year mark is the most successful waiting time for marriages. Women with fulltime careers are more likely to get divorced, compared to women who have a part time job or stay at home, and a recent study also showed homemakers are one of the most happy categories of women in the US.
Sure, homemaking isn’t for everyone, but what you said was just plain false.
Important to remember that if you are moving back with your parents to at least offer to pay some rent and bills. Don’t forget they too have financial burdens and might not have budgeted for you to stay at home in your 20s. It’s not simply your decision.
I thought that was what everyone did?? Like you live there too and you're an adult, so you contribute to living expenses and things like cleaning and cooking, at least that's ow it's always been in my house
A lot of parents wouldn't accept money from their children (especially if they are financially secure). But then of course you should contribute in other way (e.g., buy and cook food for everyone, buy some appliances or equipment) that they have no way of refusing.
Parents caused the existence of their child, hence they should be fully responsible for their financial stability.
So you'd financially blackmail your parents for not aborting you? How about that parents should be understanding of their children's needs but also encourage them to GROW by being financially responsible? Or at least that the kids can do something around the house in return for free room and board?
Laura Tárkányi lol
Parents should also prepare their children for life. One day these adult children will be without their parents. Helping is nice, but after 18, parents are not responsible for 100% of their child's expenses. 😆
I like this topic. Life decision that we don't make are just as impactful on our lives as the ones we did make.
so true!
This is the truth! :)
TruFinancials I think you are great. Very good channel. Anastasia Tempest 👩🏻💼🌻
I don't understand the issue/compulsion Americans have with moving out as soon as they can. I am from Buenos Aires, and usually people move out way after collage, with a good stable job and a solid sum of savings. It is usually around 27/28 years old. For some is a little older.
abril561 I'm from Eastern Europe and it's the same for us. People do not move out until they either get married, decide to do so because they have finished school and have successful careers, or simply don't get along with their families. Yeah, you still pay some rent once you have a job but I'd pick my siblings and parents as "roommates" any day over some strangers.
I think it's the culture that pushes American kids to be more freedom seeking, "independent " individuals
I think it is a western thing or Western European. I do not see the rush if you do not have to.
Salomé J Same in India!
It depends on your home. The West really pushes the idea of being super independent! There is a great emphasis on doing things alone. Also, I am from the UK and where cost of buying a house as a young person in the capital is basically almost impossible! Many are having to live at home a lot longer than they would have liked.
27 and single. I've seen abusive (physically, mentally, financially) relationships. I'm totally ok with (hopefully) meeting Mr right later in life, and it being a healthy relationship.
Chelsea Dau Yes, We all deserve a healthy relationship. It’s great that you recognise abusive relationships a lot of people don’t. Good luck 😉
I feel you, I am 29 and single.
Yes, I love your outlook on this. I know a few that are 26 or younger and on their second marriage. So yes, if it's not right please wait to get married.(:
Chelsea Dau i met my husband in 2014 after being in some relationships that were good but just didn‘t feel right for a „whole life“. I was 28 at that time and not stressed to find anyone at all.
I'm sorry you've been abused, but a healthy relationship can come at any point in life... just because you meet them 'later' in life, doesn't mean it's any better of a relationship than people who get married younger.
number 1 !!! yesssss I didn't get credit cards til I was 25/26, now at 27 I have a few but im super responsible and I feel confident because I waited!
staying at home is only good if your parents are willing to support you....
I'm moving to Hawaii in June for a huge career jump. I'm planning by budget and it's pretty difficult. I love these videos for this next life change! I'm female, 26, college educated, no debt and a great credit score. I feel I'm super on top of my life with solid knowledge and these videos reassure me.
#6 - choosing your friends and ditching toxic friends - is a MAJOR positive change that really deserves a video all to itself. It may sound harsh, but life really does get lots better when you begin selectively choosing your friends.
This video is golden! Especially the friendship and social media part. It’s not necessary easy following your own path but absolutely crucial to live your best life.
Idk why people feel bad about living with their parents. I’m proud of living at home right now because not only was it responsible as I rebuild my life but it’s also a great opportunity to help my Mum out, I contribute financially, I help her out around the house which she needs because she has arthritis in her hip, and I get to bond with her as an adult. I’m going to leave again after her hip replacement but it will have been a couple of years that I will value forever.
Allie Doak I Respect you👏👏👏
There is a point the bird needs to leave the nest...parents will get older and less capable. .will you live thete forever? With your partner?
@@miriamchalmovianska863 I actually did move out since then, and then my mum moved in with her mum for similar mutual benefit. I now live with my best friend who’s struggling with health issues and needed some help towards independence and so did I in terms of the emotional connection and support. I’ve been talking with my mum about living together again in some way after nana passes. Possibly in community with the person I’m dating. My mum and I value our time together hugely, it’s actually pretty miserable to me that the amount of time people spend with their parents after they ‘flee the nest’ tends to be so little in our day and age, we’re not birds.
@@miriamchalmovianska863 You are missing the point, it’s about honoring your parents by helping them and spending time with them as an adult and developing that relationship
Just shut up about things you don’t understand until you become less of a judgmental moron ✌🏼
I don't really consider 29 that old to get married
I love the way TFD throws in ads. Nobody does it more naturally. Its so organic and honest. I love this channel. I learn a lot everyday.
Be thankful your parents' financial stability allowed you to move back in. It wasn't "free" to house you. This is not mean spirited, just a reality check.
Agreed. I also lucked out because my mother could afford to have me live with her rent-free and didn't have the "gtfo because you're eighteen and I need to retire" mentality many parents have.
Catherine Marchand +
100% this. I know many people who live at home who are no better off than if they didn’t because their parents require significant financial assistance
She didn't say she hasn't shared the costs of food, energy and so on. And when it comes to owning the house, people do not pay more for some extra person - so they do not lose money, unless they would be renting the room, but I suppose if they were up to do this, they would have done it by the time.
Although they may like loosing kind of freedom as well as the children.
Actually it is free to house someone if you have the space, extra bed and that sort of thing. I took in my friend when his parents kicked him out and it costs $0 extra for him to stay with me. If you have to rent a bigger place or buy more bedding or use more electricity then yeah, it is more expensive, but this isn't the case usually.
This made me feel a lot better about staying at home through college/probably further (I’m visually impaired). Thank you!! ❤️❤️
Maha I Yes I’m staying at home through college as well since it’s cheaper & gives me a chance to work on my depression. I’m sure it will be good for us. Good luck with College 😉😘❤️
there's nothing shameful staying at home through college. im sure some people hearing about it are a bit jealous because you spend less money that way ;) Where i'm from, staying at home with your parents till you get married is seen as ok, especially if you're a woman. [though i think women would expect men to move out because they don't want to have a 'woman's traditional role' in the relationship, if they move in together.]
stay strong in college and focus on your studies - they're more important than living on your own just 'to fit in' ;)
I stayed home during college. You’re so smart to do that! When others are paying off an astronomical debt you’ll be happy you saved!!
I only have one parent still alive and I never had the option to move back in. People who can live with their parents don't realize how lucky they really are.
As far as owning a car, I live in Sacramento, where you definitely need a car to get around. Yes, owning a car is expensive, but I wouldn't be able to go to work or get around without it.
the reason why i love thins channel is that from the experience she mentions she seems to have been the exact same kind of mess I am right now and seeing where she comes from and where she is now reassures and inspires me and i take notes to see how i can go to a point where I'm happy with myself
I am glad I didn't marry my husband sooner, too. We got married after 7 years and it gave us all the tools to deal with married life and its responsibilities. By the time we got married, it had become a formality.
I refused to go back to my parents' house, because I knew my parents didn't have the means to help me and they had to take care of my younger sisters. So, even if it meant "losing" money, I still think it was a good decision never asking for financial support or help after moving out.
You are very fortunate to have had the option to move back in with your parents. Many of us never had that luxury.
Mary Temple Yes and good on her that she did. I wish for everyone to have good relations with their parents. I had that option too after I moved out but would never move back in with them.
True but if you don’t, look for special opportunities to come your way. Some people get long term pet sitting jobs like I did, some find free rent at churches in exchange for setting up chairs and cleaning, some have an uncle or a friend who has a place to rent for cheap, and some join the army. Sometimes there are people who just want to rent to someone they know, and are willing to give you a discount. Keep your eyes and ears open and put the word out there, in case the opportunity comes your way. I told my friend the advice to be open to her own opportunities and jump on it immediately, and like a month later she got an apartment for 2 people for less than $300/month. I think it was $275? It was in a good neighborhood too, and within walking distance of everything so she didn’t need a car.
Luck Yodeler what church gives you free rent for setting up chairs?
I know of two: one is a Lutheran church that has a Luther House for college students - they put up two students in the house in exchange for stuff like opening the house for fellowship and ministry events, cleaning and checking the mail, and participating in/leading student functions such as the free dinners they serve once a week. They've put up two students per year for at least 15 years now. The other is an old Methodist church that has an apartment built into the basement of the church, and they give free rent to a student for all of college, in exchange for setting up tables and chairs and unlocking the doors on Sundays and for special events. I hope you can find one of these opportunities!
Same. Although, my situation is likely very different from yours. I was brought up by a single mother and when she had a stroke, I had no choice but to take care of her while going to school.
I graduated college a year ago and still live with my parents, but it’s free rent and I’m saving for a house one day and plan to go back to get my masters 🤷🏻♀️ no shame here
I wish my family was that well off. :`)
Its really generous of your family to let you stay rent free. I am moving back to my parents in a few months, in my Chinese culture, we typically live with parents untill marriage, as soon as we get a job, it is encoraging to pay living expences for the family, not rent. Like buying lunch, paying for dinner, getting utilities fee done, and paying holiday expense as a form of appriciation toward the family.
This girl is spot on with her advice. I really appreciate it.
I sware your videos always feel like they're speaking DIRECTLY to me. Always such great and reassuring advice.
Great video! I have to disagree on one of your last points though. I completely agree that waiting to get married is a smart decision, however I don't agree with how your justify it. Who is this "fully formed person" you speak of? Its not as if you turn 30 and suddenly become your "true" self and stop growing personally. The idea that you self-actualize and THEN find a partner is dangerous because it encourages the idea that, rather than growing and changing WITH your partner you must simply find the perfect partner. I think it encourages this mindset of a rigid identity within a relationship that is likely to cause problems when one or the other partner inevitably changes. So yes, don't rush into marriage, but not because you have to become your one true self, but rather because at a young age it simply isn't practical.
Edit: On marriage: I didn't come out as lesbian until I was 24, and still haven't started my dating life in earnest at 27. (Grad school! It's time consuming!) Anyway, I think a lot of LGBT+ folks have this sense of feeling 10-15 years behind the curve when it comes to relationships. Do shit on your own time! So glad I wasn't dating when I didn't even know myself.
Thank you! I really needed this comment!
The way her face lights up when she talks about marrying Mark, is just wonderful. I hope you are very very happy💜❤️
To add to the point about moving back in with your parents, you're also very lucky if you can! My parents abused me and I was removed from their care as a kid, so I have to be self-reliant and have had to be since I was 16 but, no matter how bad anything gets, I don't have that fall back
Congrats on your marriage, Chelsea!!! Wishing you the absolute best!! So happy for you! Also loving the hair!! ❤️
Angela B i
I totally agree with you about staying with your parents before going to another big jump in your life. If I hadn't stayed with my parents before going to Japan, I wouldn't have any savings with me for my tuition fee and living expenses. By the way, I love your videos! Keep it up!
I loved you advice on marriage. I’m 27 and have been dating my boyfriend for almost 7 years. You put my feels about marriage into words perfectly.
Love how thorough and honest this is
I ❤️ your videos. They are so balanced. They aren’t one sided. I feel informed and at peace after watching. ❤️
There were interesting points made in this video. Everyone has their individual journey. Most of my friends lived with their parents until 25. I wasn’t in a rush to move at all either. I can’t speak upon other Americans. Personally, I moved from my parents home at 25, married at 26, after being together for 7 years. Now my spouse and I been married for 3 years almost 4, currently making 6 figures, I believe we’re doing well for young 29 year olds but we have a longgggggg way to go. I thought we married at a decent age given how young my grandparents, aunts, and uncle married.
This was honestly exactly what I needed to hear, I was already doing most of the right things for me but was so afraid and wandering if I was right, this made me more confident in my choices, thank you!
Absolutely love you and your videos. You always bring home the fact one needs to focus on the bigger picture and life progression not everyone else’s perception. Which is so valid as social media makes it seem like other people’s perceptions of ones life is the only thing that matters even though in reality they are meaningless.
I really want to say thank you to the creators of this video, like the rest of this channel its really increased my understanding of my money, which is absolute gold (and often hidden knowledge) for women like me. Thanks again!
Well done! I am sure you will inspire many youngsters! Keep up the good work.
1. having a credit card before i could handle it
2. paying to live on my own when I couldn't afford it
3. staying in a career path i didn't love because it felt prestigious
4. going to "real" college when i wanted to
5. driving a car after my accidents
6. staying friends with people who made me feel badly about myself
7. foregoing financial safety to "follow my dreams"
8. getting married before i was ready
I always love how well thought out the videos that TFD puts together.
I’m a little annoyed about the marriage statistics you mentioned, because a lot of that can be explained via moderating and mediating factors. It’s not a direct cause-effect relationship.
Love these videos!! The more I watch the more aligned I feel with Chelsea until learning that she majored in IR (which I'm hoping to study next year) how ironic!!
What she said about marriage is so true. Omg. I'm glad I'm focusing on myself first before thinking about marriage.
Chelsea you are on fire. Thank you for the real talk.
This was sosososo good to watch, I'm still living at home and going to a community college, I also went for International Relations and I couldn't afford moving or the 4h commute everyday so I had to change career path, stay home and go for something I could actually afford. THANK YOU FOR SHARING THIS
Im in my mid/late 20s and I live with my parents. You couldn't have said it better because I am saving so much money! I plan on moving out in about a year and ive had the opportunity to save more than enough money to do so (living in NYC! You know how it is)
Thank you for this video! It really made me feel better about a lot of things, and also made me realize how lucky I was when I got my first credit card with a low limit - having my parents making sure that I always got the payments in on time. ALSO: “Education is what you get out of it, not what it looks like” YES!
I already had a Roth IRA and a nice amount in my 401K before I got married. In my marriage, it was the opposite of what she stated. I grew up poor in a single parent household and my mother had no retirement accounts whatsoever. So it was extremely important to me to have a retirement account when I started working. My husband didnt pay attention to his retirement contributions until we got married. he saw how much I had compared to how much he had. It lit a fire under him that he had to get his retirement finances in order. When I met with my financial advisor, with my savings and assets, I'll be in the green if I was single. If I add my husband in there, we will be in the red.
Where's that dude that puts out the list of what Chelsea said cause you're in a place with bad Wifi...
Thank you on number 5. On not driving. I almost can't believe what you said. I used to have bad self esteem because I still don't know how to drive (and nor do I miss driving at all) but at least I don't need to handle the exorbitant car parks, or killing people on the road or being stuck in a jam during peak hours. I think having just one car between me and my husband is the smartest thing to do.
BRUH YOUR CHANNEL IS SOOOOOOO GOLD GOD DAMNNNNNNNNNNN
I really appreciate this video. I am nearing high school graduation and I am really just trying to figure out how to start my adult life in a responsible and fulfilling way.
I went to CC instead of a university. It saved me sooooo much money. I was able to work full time as a data entry clerk for 1 summer, and saved up for 4 out of my 5 semesters.
When you covered how much rent in New York cost a question popped into my brain. Why do you stay in New York city when you have an online business and could live in a less expensive area?
Kathryn Jones probably networking
Lifestyle choice, which by itself has nothing wrong with it I think.
Another super useful video by TFD! Thanks Chelsea, this is helping me to be a bit less anxious about my life choices!
I also studied International Relations, a major I love but the experience in the country I live in is limited. I love this video! Thank you so much for the insight and motivation!
I had to move back in with my parents for just 3 months and it was such a struggle. It really does take a lot psychologically to not go back to acting like your teenage self and having that child-dynamic with your parents when you're back in your teenage bedroom and at home all the time.
Wow! I wish i had had this advice 40 years ago! This is so important. But for me it's better late than never! Cheers!
Thanks, this video gave me the final push I needed to make the decision to give up my apartment and move back home. My job requires a lot of travel and flexibility that I just couldn’t afford while hanging onto an apartment.
I always enjoy your videos. You speak with such a sincere voice its hard not to want to listen.
This was one of your best videos so far!! Keep up the great work!
Regarding the car thing: Unless you live in NYC or similar, living without a car may be nearly impossible unless you don't mind occasionally being a burden on others.
I loved my Community College, I joined a bunch of clubs and was able to travel for free (competitions and volunteering) to so many states and even another country!
I was so ready to hear about her financial frivolity buying white blouse+green vest combos, getting Alex Borstein haircuts and living amongst guerrillas in the wilderness, that i totally blacked out the information in this video
Thanks Chelsea!! Love these videos they always ground me and refocus my mind on what I consider u be important 👌👌❤️
I teach at a community college and work at a large traditional university. The community college has FANTASTIC resources for students. Teaching there is so much fun and I see the other instructors working more with students to ensure their success. The large uni is fun, but students can slip away.
that friendship one, definitely is very important !
I lived in the NY suburbs most of my life while constantly going into New York City and knowing that I would eventually live there. I also have severe driving phobia. I asked my dad if he was disappointed that I didn’t drive. He said, do you know how much money we all save with you not driving? Not just the car but the maintenance and the insurance, which blows up if you have someone young driving.
In regards to your last point, I'm so grateful to have women in my life (my mom and my grandma) who are so good financially. Even as my grandma is beginning to lose her memory, it's so interesting to see the shift from my grandpa trying to take over the books from her because he's never had to do it.
I would also love to point out that my grandma's education stopped halfway through grade 8. And that's not to say that education is not important, but rather that if you're willing to make those changes and put the time into learning a skill it is doable. While it looks good on paper to have a college or university degree there are some skills you can learn or advance without shelling out tons of money to go to school.
I think the community college choice is so important. To this day, I still sometimes feel like a lower-class student because I did not attend a traditional university; in reality, I saved tens of thousands of dollars by attending community college before transferring to an online university.
I have always been told the real value of having that "traditional" college experience is the relationships you build with classmates, but that is something that can be built at community college, as well. Plus, I have been able to work full-time while attending college, so I've made many important connections through work, too!
I just found your channel and I don't even know how I got here but I'm glad I did.
I'm loving your videos, it's opening my eyes for a lot of things that I thought I should do and looking now, I have a different mind.
Thank you 💕
I also got married at 29 last October 😁 I'm really glad I didn't earlier, because if I had, I would be with a chronically depressed human being with a very controlling family. We're still friends and although I really appreciate the friendship I sometimes think to myself "Nothing changed, they didn't learn anything from their mistakes, still the same miserable human who ignores problems". Besides the different partner, I totally agree with your points on that topic!
Very interesting topic. My husband and I (both Gen Xer’s) work with many Millennials who are saddled with so much college debt by “experiencing the college life”while racking up 6 figures of debt. many can’t afford the homes they want or postpone getting married because of it. We did things differently than them and you as well. I feel our choices and mistakes took us on different paths and presented us with different financial choices along the way. Life experiences and failures helped us make smarter financial decisions. Where as you waited to marry, we instead waited to have kids and married quickly. It was just the right path for us. Where you moved back in with your parents, we lived on Ramen and Block buster movies while taking night classes and working full time. Everyone has different unique financial choices. TYFS your choices. Hopefully those who watch can pick what works for them in their lives. Wishing you a long and happy marriage
I made 70% of these. Im good, surprisingly. Reassuring that many of my peers who didnt make these same mistakes still struggle financially.
I went for prestige program and wasted money in loans on a track I didnt like. I went to University-Community College-University. I quit my job because it was draining, not paying me for advanced work and to pursue my dream. Although it’s been uncomfortable it hasn’t been horrible. I have learned a lot about myself. Always ways to heal from these mistakes. Please make a video on that. Most of this was about having the privilege (financial or educational) to avoid these pitfalls.
Smart advice.
From a smart woman who is an excellent speaker.
Promoting excellent decision-making.
Thank you.
I put myself through grad school living with my parents, and it was the best financial decision ever. I paid out of pocket for a $31,000 degree and bought a $5,000 car with cash. I was never home anyways, and when I was, I did chores for them, and so they loved having me home! I had money to treat myself that others didn’t. I went over to friend’s houses to do things my parents would disapprove of. Also, I bought adult stuff for myself online during the Christmas season and told them not to open any packages because it might be for them, and it worked.
Thanks Chelsea & @Financialdiet you always give the best money advice for millennials! I always learn a lot from this channel. 👏
I've had a credit card since I was 18 and I paid it off every paycheck. I liked it because banks charge for transactions. I anything I saved a lot of money in 12 years. I will never be in debt of any kind.
Great video, lots of great information. Your hair looks absolutely amazing!
These are all interesting points but not all are equally generalizeable. In particular, you mention beginning undergrad at a community college, but this presumes the introductory courses at community colleges is equivalent to those at a university. This assumption may not always hold true and should you enter a field with a cumulative training schema eg science, math, you may put yourself at a chronic disadvantage compared to your peers and this disadvantage becomes compounded as detail is added to a shaky foundation in the basics.
This is officially the best channel ever. Yep.
Unless you have a rent subsidy program, like my husband does. Our rent for a studio apartment in Chicago is normally over 1,200 each month. We pay 300,our subsidy pays the rest.
This is my favorite video of all time from you
A friend of mine makes good money as a pharmaceutical researcher, but he drives a 1990 Toyota Corolla and lives with his parents. I once asked him why, and he said it was because he was saving to buy a house (which is very expensive here in the SF Bay area).
You are someone to look up to. This was very inspiring, thank you!
I could listen to her all the time
this was so helpful! really made me think about some life decisions I have been teeter-tottering on now that I am about to graduate from college
I can understand ... Living back to parents seems like a failure ... But yeah like you I am saving as well :)
I love these videos they are so helpful! Also- the lip color you are wearing is 10/10.
Congratulations on your marriage! Hopefully you don't have to make a video on "8 Ways to Make Divorce Less Costly" LOL
Jsuarez6 I feel bad I laughed at this!
Savage 😂
#3 and #7 really spoke to me! Thank you!
I live in India and here we live with our parents basically whole life! And it really help to not to take a bad move!
I don't think there's really an age for marriage, it all depands on how mature you both are & how your'e dealing with life. Me & my husband were together for 10 years before we got married (at 24) ❤️. I actually don't want to "know how to live alone" etc... that sound depressing.
Living with your parents is super common in other countries too. In Australia students usually stay with family through uni.
I only lived on my own twice. I got a tiny apt to escape an abusive boyfriend which was very financially straining but I'm glad I did it. Then when I got my first grown up job... at 30... I did so again thinking I was too old but that forced me to live paycheck to paycheck. In hindsight I wish I'd moved out with a friend earlier.