I have a sister . She is always in crises . She pours her emotional distress out upon me for hours and hours at a time . It is painful . I hurt for her because I care deeply about her . Sometimes I want to fix her and express "suggestions" because I can barely stand the pain . I fail in that way over and over again . 😢😢😢
@jackieann5494 It's very important for you as a loved one to not try to fix her problems. That's up to her and the professionals. By trying to fix things, you just tear your relationship apart and make yourself feel worse. Many of my relationships has been destroyed because they tried to fix me. I know you want to help because you love the person, but you really can't. Your support is enough. 💕
@jackieann5494 I can only tell you from the perspective of a person suffering from mental illness. Your support goes a long way, and I'm sure that your sister appreciates you very much ❤️
Christine, thanks for sharing your story and learnings. The childhood-developed "fixer" is a part of nearly every helper-type I've met (including me!). It's so liberating when we can shed these layers of trauma and show up with authenticity in our work.
Checking in, asking questions, being curious and showing empathy are often the greatest ways of fostering genuine growth for both individuals and collective community. Mental health is such a personal struggle... how are we meant to understand an individual life without such inquiry? We can all believe we "know" what's best and we may... for ourselves. I love the way this talk journeys through your life, to the lives of people you've cared for and into your introspective self. This is a beautiful talk. Thank you, Christine. I deeply appreciate your vulnerability.
Christine, You made me cry and gave me chill bumps at least four times. Thank you for sharing your experience, your vulnerability and your lessons with everyone who views it. It’s going to change people.
A heartfelt talk about how mental illness changed Christine's life and her approach to working in supporting individuals with mental illness in the workplace by coaching leaders on how best to support them. Clear to see just how passionate Christine is about mental health and healthy workplaces.
This is a powerful story and message. Thanks for sharing your journey and insights Christine. I have a whole new perspective based on your talk. Your compassion is exemplary.
Dear Sister, mom gave us something special, the gift to adapt to situations thus making the three of us resilient individuals. So happy you shared your story for the world to hear and those living with mental health issues. Thoroughly enjoyed your powerful presentation .
I feel like I’m experiencing this as someone with adhd. I feel as though im coping well with life. And, in general, im proud of my accomplishments. But I find that when I work with people they try to fix me. I definitely walk to the beat of my own drum. But I’m tired of feeling like I have to fit into a box to be accepted or validated.
Wow Christine- its like your biggest obstacles became your most important lessons. That core assessment of “I am the fixer” causes so much pain in relationships. Creates a big obstacle of self righteousness for the fixer and takes away the self agency of other we think we need to repair. So many beautiful insights here for leadership development- when is your book coming out? ❤❤❤
Don't fix anyone but atleast give them suggestion to get out of a certain problem. It doesn't mean that you are poking your nose in others matter. Its like a helping hand to someone going through difficult times of his/her life. Give suggestions but don't impose those. After all this is what the brotherhood is !!
You are absolutely correct and I thought that by fixing people I was actually helping. The thought of being arrogant wasn't even in my thoughts. I appreciate your response, thank you- Christine
Do not try to fix them! Do not try to support them! *Killer can be support by someone then his/her will do his/her work again! Do tech them , give them tools and skill For the time when "U" can not be there to help or support them ! No one will be there for you forever ! And not all decision lead to happy ending ! "I" do not recomand follow this Ted talk at all... sorry
@@kahafb fix = you are the problem , over looks safty system and happniess of that person .that why they will fight back Give them tools and skill of your = it mean you are NOT problem , Only tools and skill that cost some pain that you do not WANT And this another safty system that you CAN use if you WANT to use it
That's what I try to say to people around me: DON'T try to fix me, it's not your job.. just be there and support me through the highs and lows.
I have a sister . She is always in crises . She pours her emotional distress out upon me for hours and hours at a time .
It is painful .
I hurt for her because I care deeply about her .
Sometimes I want to fix her and express "suggestions" because I can barely stand the pain .
I fail in that way over and over again .
😢😢😢
@jackieann5494 It's very important for you as a loved one to not try to fix her problems. That's up to her and the professionals. By trying to fix things, you just tear your relationship apart and make yourself feel worse. Many of my relationships has been destroyed because they tried to fix me.
I know you want to help because you love the person, but you really can't. Your support is enough. 💕
@@elin_
Thank you very much for understanding ...and for the truthful response 💗
It encouraged me
@jackieann5494 I can only tell you from the perspective of a person suffering from mental illness. Your support goes a long way, and I'm sure that your sister appreciates you very much ❤️
@@elin_
Thanks you
You blessed me today😊
Amazing!! So insightful. It really resonated with me ❤️❤️
Incredible talk, Christine! I hear some of your coaching echoing through it. Thank you for sharing this, and your vulnerability and wisdom always!
Christine, thanks for sharing your story and learnings. The childhood-developed "fixer" is a part of nearly every helper-type I've met (including me!). It's so liberating when we can shed these layers of trauma and show up with authenticity in our work.
Checking in, asking questions, being curious and showing empathy are often the greatest ways of fostering genuine growth for both individuals and collective community. Mental health is such a personal struggle... how are we meant to understand an individual life without such inquiry? We can all believe we "know" what's best and we may... for ourselves. I love the way this talk journeys through your life, to the lives of people you've cared for and into your introspective self.
This is a beautiful talk. Thank you, Christine. I deeply appreciate your vulnerability.
Thank you so much for your kind words.
Christine, just saw your TED talk. So impactful for me in so many ways . Thanks for your courage & truth speaking !
Hinda.. Brava mama ♥️
WOW, WHAT A QUOTE: "People have way better solutions to their problems than anything I can give them".
This is incredibly uplifting and empowering. Christine’s childhood mirrors my own. So very grateful for this TedTalk. Thank you so much, Christine ❤
Christine,
You made me cry and gave me chill bumps at least four times. Thank you for sharing your experience, your vulnerability and your lessons with everyone who views it. It’s going to change people.
Thanks so much! I really appreciate that.
A heartfelt talk about how mental illness changed Christine's life and her approach to working in supporting individuals with mental illness in the workplace by coaching leaders on how best to support them. Clear to see just how passionate Christine is about mental health and healthy workplaces.
This is a powerful story and message. Thanks for sharing your journey and insights Christine. I have a whole new perspective based on your talk. Your compassion is exemplary.
I'm not crying, you're crying 😢❤
"Curiosity and questions: All becoming a super power."
Dear Sister, mom gave us something special, the gift to adapt to situations thus making the three of us resilient individuals. So happy you shared your story for the world to hear and those living with mental health issues. Thoroughly enjoyed your powerful presentation .
Thanks Sis and she certainly did.
So proud to know you ❤🎉
Very interesting.. This lady seems very intelligent rare for this channel.. good video
Why thank you!
Very relatable and meaningful messages that will resonate and help people. Thank you.
This is the exact position at my workplace! Thank you this came at the right time!
What an incredible story and the results from it.
Thanks so much!
Such a powerful story!! You are extraordinary!
Thanks so much Tia! Your help in crafting my story was so valuable. You are a great presentation coach.
Wow! Just Wow.
I need to ask more questions and realise I am not supposed to fix
My mom liked to remind me all the time that her lupus would never have kicked in if she didn't have me. Super helpful.
It's good birth-control for you at the very least.
I'm sorry that you experienced this.
Very powerful leadership skill 👍
Amazing story!
I feel like I’m experiencing this as someone with adhd. I feel as though im coping well with life. And, in general, im proud of my accomplishments. But I find that when I work with people they try to fix me. I definitely walk to the beat of my own drum. But I’m tired of feeling like I have to fit into a box to be accepted or validated.
Wow Christine- its like your biggest obstacles became your most important lessons. That core assessment of “I am the fixer” causes so much pain in relationships. Creates a big obstacle of self righteousness for the fixer and takes away the self agency of other we think we need to repair. So many beautiful insights here for leadership development- when is your book coming out? ❤❤❤
Thanks so much Kanu! Stay tuned for the book. You have inspired me to write one.
This, was amazing.
Thank u 🙏 this is so very helpful inspiring, 😭💜☺️🪃
Thats my Mom :D !
❤
Thank you for sharing your mom's and grandmom's wisdom with all of us here ❤
Wonderful 💙
Geez, I thought my childhood wasn't too great, hers was a nightmare.
Interpersonal connections and social supports and true acceptance are vitae.
I'm sick from fighting for acceptance
Wow so beautiful ❤❤❤❤
Don't fix anyone but atleast give them suggestion to get out of a certain problem. It doesn't mean that you are poking your nose in others matter. Its like a helping hand to someone going through difficult times of his/her life. Give suggestions but don't impose those. After all this is what the brotherhood is !!
I like what you write....❤
absolutely and ask if people want suggestions or for you just to listen. Both are powerful.
This is why I am burnt out today.
💎
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Same applies to the disabled
I have bipolar disorder but I’m not quite that bad. Sometimes though 😬
👌
Everybody who wanted to ‘ fix ‘ me should look at themselves
🎉
Just learn some patience and kindness
Iamorphandivorcee🎉
Fix someone!! What an offensive and arrogant thing to say, we are human not broken objects!
You are absolutely correct and I thought that by fixing people I was actually helping. The thought of being arrogant wasn't even in my thoughts. I appreciate your response, thank you- Christine
It only took 1 woman with a mental illness to flip my life upside down 🤣🤣🤣
That can happen too.
Sorry😮
Do not try to fix them!
Do not try to support them! *Killer can be support by someone then his/her will do his/her work again!
Do tech them , give them tools and skill
For the time when "U" can not be there to help or support them !
No one will be there for you forever !
And not all decision lead to happy ending !
"I" do not recomand follow this Ted talk at all... sorry
You clearly didn't watch it
@@kahafbThere is not a one size, fits all approach to these things. Everyone is different.
@@kahafb fix = you are the problem , over looks safty system and happniess of that person .that why they will fight back
Give them tools and skill of your = it mean you are NOT problem , Only tools and skill that cost some pain that you do not WANT
And this another safty system that you CAN use if you WANT to use it
There’s a lot more of them with mental illness…😂
Most ted talks start with a shocking sentence, its getting old, there should be other formats so It doesnt become predictable.
Hmm that's an interesting thought. What would you suggest instead?
Jail for all.
Internacional mental illeness
Internacionals criminales
🎉