I think there are a lot of people on the media like: "out yourself, be proud, you will feel so much better" but I think it's a very personal thing and it will also be a personal outcome if you out yourself. No one can say your life will be better if they don't even know you
This!!! I think queer youth in general need to remember this. It sucks that not all of us can come out safely when we want to/ when we’re ready, but safety is the first priority over everything!
I don't think people understand exactly how dangerous it can be. You almost never know ahead of time how people are going to react. A lot of people will be "supportive" of the LGBTQ community, unless it's their own kid. Be safe out there❤you are no less queer because you're not out yet 😊🏳️🌈 happy pride everyone
i feel like modern queer culture puts way too much emphasis on coming out or being out of the closet with no understanding of how dangerous it can be for people. its just sad the kind of pressure it puts on people.
yeah absolutely, don't come out until you feel safe, are safe, and WANT to. you don't HAVE to come out to unsupportive people ever if you don't want to. I got outed to my intensely homophobic, religious parents by my homophobic sibling and my life was hell, things got...bad, won't get into details...but I had to put up with it and their control over me for a year (I'm halfway through that year right now) before being financially able to move out. I'm moving out in January and getting married to my boyfriend next year, if it all goes well, wish me luck! happy pride everyone 🎉❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈
@@InterviewNewsToday aw, thank you!! I'm super excited, but I expect the real excitement to hit when I'm free and moved out and can relax😅 happy pride to you, hope you're doing well!!
list of all the reactions i’ve gotten from people who found out i was gay; - mum: told me i’d be sent to hell + came around and is now chill but it took her like 5 years - dad: didn’t care - friends: neat/cool + *triggers gay awakening (we’re all some sort of queer but i was the first to realise and come out) - brother: didn’t care + teases me for lack of gf - lil sisters: thought it was very cool i was immune to cooties - random classmates: “huh, ok” (this exact wording from like 9 different people on separate occasions) - any guy who asked me out: “aw dang” and/or “not again” - gay cousin: excited she wasn’t alone in this shit - grandma: “i love you no matter what” - grandpa: huh, alright… wanna play snakes and ladders? (side note, cousin came out first and he initially thought it was gross but grandma knocked some sense into him about how he should still love and support his grandkids. he came around well before he found out about me) got pretty lucky cause most people who found out didn’t really care. also obviously this is a simplified version of the responses (unless in quotes) but it gets the general vibes across
Kinda hard to do that when you’re trans and start hrt when living with them. I came out to them right before I stared…it didn’t go great a year and a half later it’s still a taboo subject but I still live here and am financially dependent on them.
Also when it comes to changing names. If I change my name in school it'll go home in emails to my parents. If I just change it around my friends then it'll get back to my own parents through my friends' parents. I think that "just come out to a few people" is easier for cis queer people and coming at it as if EVERYONE has the luxury of only coming out to some is a bit privileged. School emails home won't refer to Samantha as "Samantha the lesbian" but they WILL refer to a trans person as their chosen name and pronouns - obviously this only goes for accepting schools, most require parental consent and even then are bad with deadnaming sadly, but given that the video's argument was under the assumption that the school WAS okay with name-changes, that's also the assumption I'm going off of.
@@thischannelisdead9 yah I certainly don’t feel comfortable telling my parents my name so I still get deadnamed and misgendered at home I don’t like dealing with them. Also I never changed my name with the college just on the off chance it would get back to my parents so in the system it was always my deadname one prof had to ask my my deadname so he knew the name in the system. At work I still have my deadname in the system because it’s not my legal name. And as for hrt some trans people are lucky enough (or unlucky enough depending on how you see it) to get changed they just cannot hide and they can’t pretend to be their agab anymore…I’m still waiting on getting my breasts and hoping they will get large enough where it would be difficult to hide them and my parents have to see I have breasts now so they have to acknowledge I’m a girl…they’re still fairly small now but o think finally after 1.5 years they finally are showing some signs of growth so we’ll see. The person in the audio is trans apparently but I guess maybe they don’t live with their family so they probably didn’t have to tell them they’re trans but if you life with them hrt can be difficult to hide if you choose to use it
This is a bit trickier for trans people who need HRT. Sometimes you need their support to start HRT, especially if you're a minor. Even if you can start HRT on your own, the parents will eventually notice the changes and might become an even more difficult situation.
There's also that in a lot of cases you need it to have been on paper for decent amounts of time beforehand so it might not even just push it back to once you're an adult, it may push it back even further through medical doubt
A great part about not coming out to my parents as a kid was my girlfriend being allowed to spend the night. Mom even hit me with a "Just share a bed, its a twin there's enough room." Okay sure! lmao
Cishet people popularised the idea of coming out meaning telling cishet people you're queer because they didnt like the idea of us not being visible to them. Originally coming out meant joining queer society (specifically, joining a ballroom) and didnt involve them at all. You do not need to tell anyone you dont want to.
Honestly this. I tutor and support many young queer people and I have said to many of them - 'if you have ANY reason to believe your parents won't support you and you don't have a place to go, the closet is the safest place'. It's really unfortunate to say, but it's true. You are better off to come out when you are no longer relying on them. Just make sure you do have support around you because obviously being closeted is very difficult, especially if you're trans
My parents are all allys, but for some reason I *really* thought my mom wouldn’t support me. Even though in every kid’s cartoon she finds the queer couples adorable. Plus all her friends are queer. But no. Why would she support me? Eventually I came out by telling her I had a girlfriend and she was just like. Okay. I didn’t know you liked (gf’s name). I guess you two have been pretty close tho. Good for you kid. 🙂
I vowed if I wound up getting together with a man ultimately I'd never come out to my parents. They still don't know I'm Demipan. My husband knows, all of my friends know, my parents it never crossed their minds. 😅
To echo other people, this is a lot harder for trans people I was severely depressed because of my dysphoria. I needed help that I could not get myself. While I didn’t know how my parents would react I couldn’t continue living the way I was. It was not an option I’m one of the lucky ones. My parents support me and I’m safe. Also I don’t want to scare anyone but sadly your parents “accepting” your gay/trans friend doesn’t mean they will accept you. I came out first. 1. My friends mom read her diary and found out she was a trans woman. She became very transphobic and even outright blamed me for making her child trans. 2. My friends younger sibling came out as trans. To be clear I had spoken to this kid maybe twice in the 4 years I knew my friend, and they were over 3 years younger. I was again blamed for making their child trans despite not even knowing their name. 3. My third friend was scared to come out after all of that but their parents were literally like “yeah we know they’re gay we’re just waiting for them to come around” and has accompanied them to all their HRT appointments and been super supportive 4. Not a friend from my original friend group, but from my college friend group. I lived in an apartment with 3 genderfluid people and (at the time) 1 cis guy. I met the cis guys mom and she was super nice and as far as I could tell never said anything bad about him living with queer people. Well she was fine with it until he started dating a trans person, and then she got really all “okay it’s fine that they exist but does it have to be around me?” Yeah when he finally came out he will never be telling his parents.
before I came out to my parents I honestly had no clue what would happen, but what happened shocked me to the point that it's a joke now. all they said was "we know, you talk about (I won't say her name) so much and how you like (her name)". that was about 2 years ago, and I'm having troubles with telling my parents that I'm not lesbian and that I'm probably aro/ace cuz I don't feel love in relationships 😭
i also see this a lot in the therian community of therians telling their parents and bad stuff happening because their parents aren’t supportive. you don’t have to come out as what ever you are if it’s not safe. your safety is more important, because being out isn’t so awesome if you’re homeless now or your parents hate you.
There is a risk with some people (especially trans folks) where them finding out you're hiding it can be worse because insecure parents can get violent if they're surprised by it. But in most cases, of course be ready to evacuate if you need to, but don't throw yourself into danger before you absolutely have to.
I tried so so so hard to explain this to my sibling before they came out. I was successfully hiding my sexuality and dating mostly guys (I’m bi) in high school to avoid my insane parents’ disapproval. I still haven’t told them and I’m 25. Not because I think they’d do anything, but it’s unimportant now. T, sibling decided to come out at 13 and sadly my parents did a lot to try to change that including my stepmom enrolling my sibling into a “straight camp” under the pretext of it being a Catholic boarding school (that’s how she got my dad on board. He didn’t know the truth at the time). It destroyed them and it ruined my relationship with my parents too.
Fr, like my parents kinda know but they don’t really know because I know they won’t be supporting and I’m waiting until I’m 18 and until I have a house (which is a bus)
This is very true, if you know your parents/guardian[s] won't accept you then you dont need to tell them yet, its best if you wait and get some good friends who accept you for who you are
Literally this. I came out to my parents about being trans due to pressure from my boyfriend and therapist. Thank god they didnt kicked me out, but if i could go back id never have gotten out to them, and waited when i felt actually ready to face it
I love this cause it is a little bit hard for me to be out at home because my dad is transphobic and I can’t really come out at school because my sister goes to my school and I don’t know how she would react if she would tell my parents 😅
I agree I personally came out as trans at 12 and changed my name in school I'm now 15 and still going by that name and it still aint got back to my parents point is there is ways to be your self and have your parents not find out
I did have too because the school wouldn’t allow a name change without parental permission, but luckily it turn out okay-ish. I am brilliantly greatful
This is why I have to come out at 18, even if I’m going to be dysphoric. My parents honestly are strict, but do let me do my own things. My brother nows I am queer and trans, so I’m safe with him.
I've got super supportive parents who literally will hide my not out friends' sexualities and genders from their parents. I'm really lucky to have them, and all of my friends think of them as second family. My best friend is out to literally 2 adults, my parents. My dad is the reason another friend's dad started calling them by the proper pronouns. I love my parents so much, but please, if you want to be out and its unsafe to be yourself at home, find friends who have families who can accept you until you can safely be out.
This is why I will not tell my family I’m a therian until 1. I’m sure I am and this isn’t a phase. 2. I’m an adult. 3. I have a plan for what happens after they know.
FAFSA won't care BUT your college's aid office might. FAFSAs tell how much money the government thinks your parents can give you, which is treated as what they *will* give you when that information is relayed to your college. BUT, there is always the option to file an appeal for more aid *from your college,* explaining that your parents are refusing to financially support you for whatever reason. this generally requires an explanation from you, and a parent's signature
Both my parents know I’m pan& ace. My father was Surprisingly supportive of it actually. My father also does NOT know I’m non-binary. I’ll never come out to him,, I just won’t. I’m not dealing with that. I am also never explaining that I use a name other than my given one 90% of the time bc this is the same man who told me not correcting people on my name pronunciation is disrespectful to my family lineage so 😅
Yeah , coming out is not a necessity at all ! Honestly just living life and eventually letting people find out by themselves is far more peaceful But I guess it might be more complicated for transgender folks
Exactly I am perfectly fine just sitting here and chilling. While it sucks to not be out to my parents I know they would not support me so it is not safe for me to do so. I’m chilling and not quite ready for them to hate me just yet. The only problem is I have this friend who is gay and trans( love him, he’s great) but he will continually make jokes about being gay or queer( which is totally fine and it’s hilarious) but he does it right in front of my parents!! I love that he’s being himself and not caring what others think. But when he does it in front of my parents it puts me at risk of being outed. I’ve asked him not to put me and to keep it on the down low so that my parents don’t make the connection that I’m queer. But he keeps making jokes about how we’re both queer in front of people in my church who would put me to mg parents in a heartbeat and k don’t know what to do…. 😓
My coming out was legitimately an unalive attempt. Told my mother in a car while she was driving so she'd just crash us both. Other than not crashing, went as well as i expected. After 14 years my mother's gotten better at least. My father not so much but eff it, we ball.
That’s the situation I’m in currently. I live with my grandparents who I know are homophobic and am atm financially dependent. The only one in my family that knows is my mom and she doesn’t live here anymore. I’m out to my friends and anyone who isn’t in my family and asks.
i’m doing this experiment. i think my dad is supportive of trans people but im not sure so whenever we talk politics (hes the most liberal 68 year old i have ever met) im gonna slowly mention trans people to get his view.
this video and some of the comments miss the mark for me. for some people, being closeted causes a lot of emotional pain. especially if you already have mental health issues, it's not hard for that to be the final straw that makes you suicidal or makes you consider committing. and especially so for trans people with gender dysphoria- sometimes the option is come out and be free of the burden or drown in your struggles. don't act like it's an easy choice or people are stupid for coming out to those who won't accept them or could harm them. even being closeted on just your sexuality is painful for a lot of people. it's not that simple. stop acting like it's someone's fault when their family disowns them because they came out and maybe instead try to be supportive of them.
It's not their fault obviously, but It's still probably not a good idea to come out to people you know are unsuppprtive chances are your just gonna end up with more struggles. Best case scenario they pretend you coming out didn't happen at all and treat you exactly the same, worse you lose your house and have to live with friends or on the streets. I'd suggest having a supportive group of friends or even trusted adults like teachers and friends parents who you're out to and who won't invalidate your identity.
@@ice_pls i agree, i just mean to point out that some people can't handle the weight of being closeted, and they don't have a support group. they might be practically forced to come out because their conscience is hurt by being closeted.
My mom knows about my relationships and stuff but my dad doesn't and I'm going to keep it that way because it's the safest thing for me because my dad has a short fuse
I wasn't planning on coming out to my parents unless I was fully moved out, completely independent, with a long term partner who would want me to tell them. Unfortunately though I wasn't careful enough about hiding it so when they went through my texts with my best friend they found out
I'm not sure whether i should tell my dad that i have a girlfriend or not. Because i don't know if he's supportive or not. He seems okay with my being a part of the lgbtqia+ community, but there's this small voice that's saying it would be safer to stay semi-closeted for now.
Yeah I’m polyamorous, so it’s hard to explain why a relationship didn’t work out with a guy I’m interested in and he was interested. Cause he not polyamorous, so I’m just sitting there hearing my mother go “how’s your boyfriend??” And knowing i can’t correct her😑
I absolutely know my mom and stepdad would not support my coming out. I think my dad suspected i was some sort of queer before he passed, but he never confirmed that when he had the chance. He at least didnt seem mad about it if he did think something was up. I know mom and stepdad wouldnt because ive heard the things mom likes to yell at the news broadcasts about people like me.
I tried to come out to my parents before but they told me I was too young and didn’t figure it out yet, I will not be revealing my age but I feel unsupported and unsure because they told me “just wait a couple years and if you still feel that way then tell us” and I felt really bad. It made the situation even worse when I was in a class with 4 homophobic kids in it, I read a lot about the lgbtqia+ community and my mom told me I wasn’t allowed to read them anymore :(
The only reason I came out to certain family members is because they stopped trying to own me and I turned from an infant to an adult they weren’t going to fight to keep overnight.
im out to my mom but she still misgenders me and calls me silly when i bring it up. i am 24 and never really presented as my gender so shes just weird and phobic. My DAD however, im financially dependent on and i wont be coming out to him until im like.....ig in 2 years when hes not paying for my health shit anymore lol
OMG YESSSS!! my parents are NOT supportive of therians or LGBTQIA+ like, they would literally disown me. and not even my grandparents would take me in bcuz everyone in my family is very strongly against pride. so are my friends families, but luckily, I have a supportive friend who family supports me more than my own when it comes to pride, therians, furries, etc. so if i end up getting disowned, SEND ME TO MY FRIENDS HOUSE!
As a teen yeah i qana cowm out im in a realship i really wana cime out but im alreyd being called homophbic and transphobic slurs cuz the closet is semi see throught hah im so fucked but only 2 years till im an adult and can disappear to a freinds hopefully no more lying gaslighting and abuse
I don't know if I should come out to my dad because I am 12 and have known that I am gay since I was only 6 years old I have come out to my mom and I don't think my dad will care but he is the cind of person who thinks that you can't change your sensuality more than once and that if at 12 I say they'll I'm lesbian and then at 14 I say that I ace he will lable me as "changing my mind" not changing my ways because there's a big difference between saying I am lesbian and I have always been lesbian
1. There's no shame in staying in the closet for your own safety. It doesn't make you any less queer, and I hope you find a safe space eventually to be out and proud. But for now, make sure to be smart about how you express yourself (i.e. subtle pride colored merch). 2. Donnie cameo. This isn't adding anything at all, but he's there and I need to acknowledge it.
When it comes to coming out as gay, some people want to come out so folks don't constantly ask when you're going to have a partner of the opposite sex. Or make comments about your current partner being a phase bc that's disrespectful to both people. Though in my experience it's easier to hide being gay (and actively having gay relationships) than it is to be trans (and actively living that out) because that says a lot more about who you are daily than who you love. I mean being "stealth" is possible but not always in early stages. And not everyone wants to start a whole new life around new people just to become themselves. I don't like having to come out if I can help it, just letting people figure it out on their own and they stfu about it, but not everyone wants the same or has that luxury.
I think there are a lot of people on the media like: "out yourself, be proud, you will feel so much better" but I think it's a very personal thing and it will also be a personal outcome if you out yourself. No one can say your life will be better if they don't even know you
This!!! I think queer youth in general need to remember this. It sucks that not all of us can come out safely when we want to/ when we’re ready, but safety is the first priority over everything!
I don't think people understand exactly how dangerous it can be. You almost never know ahead of time how people are going to react. A lot of people will be "supportive" of the LGBTQ community, unless it's their own kid. Be safe out there❤you are no less queer because you're not out yet 😊🏳️🌈 happy pride everyone
i feel like modern queer culture puts way too much emphasis on coming out or being out of the closet with no understanding of how dangerous it can be for people. its just sad the kind of pressure it puts on people.
yeah absolutely, don't come out until you feel safe, are safe, and WANT to. you don't HAVE to come out to unsupportive people ever if you don't want to. I got outed to my intensely homophobic, religious parents by my homophobic sibling and my life was hell, things got...bad, won't get into details...but I had to put up with it and their control over me for a year (I'm halfway through that year right now) before being financially able to move out. I'm moving out in January and getting married to my boyfriend next year, if it all goes well, wish me luck! happy pride everyone 🎉❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈
Good luck! Congrats on your engagement ❤🏳️🌈
@@InterviewNewsToday aw, thank you!! I'm super excited, but I expect the real excitement to hit when I'm free and moved out and can relax😅 happy pride to you, hope you're doing well!!
@@breeeeeaaathofthewild may the time pass swiftly until January!! And thank you :D
list of all the reactions i’ve gotten from people who found out i was gay;
- mum: told me i’d be sent to hell + came around and is now chill but it took her like 5 years
- dad: didn’t care
- friends: neat/cool + *triggers gay awakening (we’re all some sort of queer but i was the first to realise and come out)
- brother: didn’t care + teases me for lack of gf
- lil sisters: thought it was very cool i was immune to cooties
- random classmates: “huh, ok” (this exact wording from like 9 different people on separate occasions)
- any guy who asked me out: “aw dang” and/or “not again”
- gay cousin: excited she wasn’t alone in this shit
- grandma: “i love you no matter what”
- grandpa: huh, alright… wanna play snakes and ladders? (side note, cousin came out first and he initially thought it was gross but grandma knocked some sense into him about how he should still love and support his grandkids. he came around well before he found out about me)
got pretty lucky cause most people who found out didn’t really care. also obviously this is a simplified version of the responses (unless in quotes) but it gets the general vibes across
Kinda hard to do that when you’re trans and start hrt when living with them. I came out to them right before I stared…it didn’t go great a year and a half later it’s still a taboo subject but I still live here and am financially dependent on them.
Also when it comes to changing names. If I change my name in school it'll go home in emails to my parents. If I just change it around my friends then it'll get back to my own parents through my friends' parents.
I think that "just come out to a few people" is easier for cis queer people and coming at it as if EVERYONE has the luxury of only coming out to some is a bit privileged. School emails home won't refer to Samantha as "Samantha the lesbian" but they WILL refer to a trans person as their chosen name and pronouns - obviously this only goes for accepting schools, most require parental consent and even then are bad with deadnaming sadly, but given that the video's argument was under the assumption that the school WAS okay with name-changes, that's also the assumption I'm going off of.
@@thischannelisdead9 yah I certainly don’t feel comfortable telling my parents my name so I still get deadnamed and misgendered at home I don’t like dealing with them. Also I never changed my name with the college just on the off chance it would get back to my parents so in the system it was always my deadname one prof had to ask my my deadname so he knew the name in the system. At work I still have my deadname in the system because it’s not my legal name. And as for hrt some trans people are lucky enough (or unlucky enough depending on how you see it) to get changed they just cannot hide and they can’t pretend to be their agab anymore…I’m still waiting on getting my breasts and hoping they will get large enough where it would be difficult to hide them and my parents have to see I have breasts now so they have to acknowledge I’m a girl…they’re still fairly small now but o think finally after 1.5 years they finally are showing some signs of growth so we’ll see.
The person in the audio is trans apparently but I guess maybe they don’t live with their family so they probably didn’t have to tell them they’re trans but if you life with them hrt can be difficult to hide if you choose to use it
This is a bit trickier for trans people who need HRT. Sometimes you need their support to start HRT, especially if you're a minor. Even if you can start HRT on your own, the parents will eventually notice the changes and might become an even more difficult situation.
Unfortunately in that case, hrt will have to wait.
sometimes it can't
There's also that in a lot of cases you need it to have been on paper for decent amounts of time beforehand so it might not even just push it back to once you're an adult, it may push it back even further through medical doubt
@@melissasandison6437 Not always an option
@@OatmealTheCrazy how so?
U better give that kitty the attention it’s begging for in the background 😂
A great part about not coming out to my parents as a kid was my girlfriend being allowed to spend the night. Mom even hit me with a "Just share a bed, its a twin there's enough room." Okay sure! lmao
Cishet people popularised the idea of coming out meaning telling cishet people you're queer because they didnt like the idea of us not being visible to them. Originally coming out meant joining queer society (specifically, joining a ballroom) and didnt involve them at all. You do not need to tell anyone you dont want to.
i dont think you are correct but I like the vibe
Honestly this. I tutor and support many young queer people and I have said to many of them - 'if you have ANY reason to believe your parents won't support you and you don't have a place to go, the closet is the safest place'. It's really unfortunate to say, but it's true. You are better off to come out when you are no longer relying on them. Just make sure you do have support around you because obviously being closeted is very difficult, especially if you're trans
My parents are all allys, but for some reason I *really* thought my mom wouldn’t support me. Even though in every kid’s cartoon she finds the queer couples adorable. Plus all her friends are queer. But no. Why would she support me? Eventually I came out by telling her I had a girlfriend and she was just like. Okay. I didn’t know you liked (gf’s name). I guess you two have been pretty close tho. Good for you kid. 🙂
I vowed if I wound up getting together with a man ultimately I'd never come out to my parents. They still don't know I'm Demipan. My husband knows, all of my friends know, my parents it never crossed their minds. 😅
To echo other people, this is a lot harder for trans people
I was severely depressed because of my dysphoria. I needed help that I could not get myself. While I didn’t know how my parents would react I couldn’t continue living the way I was. It was not an option
I’m one of the lucky ones. My parents support me and I’m safe.
Also I don’t want to scare anyone but sadly your parents “accepting” your gay/trans friend doesn’t mean they will accept you.
I came out first.
1. My friends mom read her diary and found out she was a trans woman. She became very transphobic and even outright blamed me for making her child trans.
2. My friends younger sibling came out as trans. To be clear I had spoken to this kid maybe twice in the 4 years I knew my friend, and they were over 3 years younger. I was again blamed for making their child trans despite not even knowing their name.
3. My third friend was scared to come out after all of that but their parents were literally like “yeah we know they’re gay we’re just waiting for them to come around” and has accompanied them to all their HRT appointments and been super supportive
4. Not a friend from my original friend group, but from my college friend group. I lived in an apartment with 3 genderfluid people and (at the time) 1 cis guy. I met the cis guys mom and she was super nice and as far as I could tell never said anything bad about him living with queer people. Well she was fine with it until he started dating a trans person, and then she got really all “okay it’s fine that they exist but does it have to be around me?” Yeah when he finally came out he will never be telling his parents.
I’ll come out when I’m living on my money
There is 0 obligation to come out to anyone ever if you don't want to. Just like cis het people dont need to come out, neither do you
yes!! 🙌 also my names skye too and i’m trans and pan🥰✨🏳️🌈
That's cool!
before I came out to my parents I honestly had no clue what would happen, but what happened shocked me to the point that it's a joke now. all they said was "we know, you talk about (I won't say her name) so much and how you like (her name)". that was about 2 years ago, and I'm having troubles with telling my parents that I'm not lesbian and that I'm probably aro/ace cuz I don't feel love in relationships 😭
i also see this a lot in the therian community of therians telling their parents and bad stuff happening because their parents aren’t supportive. you don’t have to come out as what ever you are if it’s not safe. your safety is more important, because being out isn’t so awesome if you’re homeless now or your parents hate you.
There is a risk with some people (especially trans folks) where them finding out you're hiding it can be worse because insecure parents can get violent if they're surprised by it.
But in most cases, of course be ready to evacuate if you need to, but don't throw yourself into danger before you absolutely have to.
I absolutely love this rant
however, I can’t help but get distracted by the cat meowing in the background!!😂
I tried so so so hard to explain this to my sibling before they came out. I was successfully hiding my sexuality and dating mostly guys (I’m bi) in high school to avoid my insane parents’ disapproval. I still haven’t told them and I’m 25. Not because I think they’d do anything, but it’s unimportant now. T, sibling decided to come out at 13 and sadly my parents did a lot to try to change that including my stepmom enrolling my sibling into a “straight camp” under the pretext of it being a Catholic boarding school (that’s how she got my dad on board. He didn’t know the truth at the time). It destroyed them and it ruined my relationship with my parents too.
I had to come out at 12 because my mom found something on one of our phones and I couldn't lie about it.
Fr, like my parents kinda know but they don’t really know because I know they won’t be supporting and I’m waiting until I’m 18 and until I have a house (which is a bus)
This is very true, if you know your parents/guardian[s] won't accept you then you dont need to tell them yet, its best if you wait and get some good friends who accept you for who you are
This is so true, just go with what feels right, and happy pride month!
Literally this. I came out to my parents about being trans due to pressure from my boyfriend and therapist. Thank god they didnt kicked me out, but if i could go back id never have gotten out to them, and waited when i felt actually ready to face it
"MEOW"
"MEOW"
"MEOW"
I love this cause it is a little bit hard for me to be out at home because my dad is transphobic and I can’t really come out at school because my sister goes to my school and I don’t know how she would react if she would tell my parents 😅
I agree I personally came out as trans at 12 and changed my name in school I'm now 15 and still going by that name and it still aint got back to my parents point is there is ways to be your self and have your parents not find out
I did have too because the school wouldn’t allow a name change without parental permission, but luckily it turn out okay-ish. I am brilliantly greatful
This is why I have to come out at 18, even if I’m going to be dysphoric. My parents honestly are strict, but do let me do my own things. My brother nows I am queer and trans, so I’m safe with him.
Friendly reminder that you dont own anybody a coming out.
Its not an obligation if you dont want to
I've got super supportive parents who literally will hide my not out friends' sexualities and genders from their parents. I'm really lucky to have them, and all of my friends think of them as second family. My best friend is out to literally 2 adults, my parents. My dad is the reason another friend's dad started calling them by the proper pronouns.
I love my parents so much, but please, if you want to be out and its unsafe to be yourself at home, find friends who have families who can accept you until you can safely be out.
HOLY BANNA PANCAKES, THATS ROTTMN5BDONNIE IN THE BACKGROUND
I told my parents and they supported me ❤ I thought they would ground me and yell at me for being pansexual I am so grateful that they support me ❤
This is why I will not tell my family I’m a therian until
1. I’m sure I am and this isn’t a phase.
2. I’m an adult.
3. I have a plan for what happens after they know.
I'm going to come out as a lesbian today you inspired me
How’d it go?
@@pixel5622 it gone really well
You lesbian or what
@@daddytree369 no I’m trans and bi I was just hoping it went well and I’m happy it did gj!
@@pixel5622 what kind of trans woman trun to men or men trun into woman i just want to know if you dont mind me asking
@@daddytree369 I’m a trans man which is female to male
FAFSA won't care BUT your college's aid office might.
FAFSAs tell how much money the government thinks your parents can give you, which is treated as what they *will* give you when that information is relayed to your college. BUT, there is always the option to file an appeal for more aid *from your college,* explaining that your parents are refusing to financially support you for whatever reason. this generally requires an explanation from you, and a parent's signature
Exactly!
Both my parents know I’m pan& ace. My father was Surprisingly supportive of it actually. My father also does NOT know I’m non-binary. I’ll never come out to him,, I just won’t. I’m not dealing with that. I am also never explaining that I use a name other than my given one 90% of the time bc this is the same man who told me not correcting people on my name pronunciation is disrespectful to my family lineage so 😅
Yeah , coming out is not a necessity at all !
Honestly just living life and eventually letting people find out by themselves is far more peaceful
But I guess it might be more complicated for transgender folks
Exactly I am perfectly fine just sitting here and chilling. While it sucks to not be out to my parents I know they would not support me so it is not safe for me to do so. I’m chilling and not quite ready for them to hate me just yet. The only problem is I have this friend who is gay and trans( love him, he’s great) but he will continually make jokes about being gay or queer( which is totally fine and it’s hilarious) but he does it right in front of my parents!! I love that he’s being himself and not caring what others think. But when he does it in front of my parents it puts me at risk of being outed. I’ve asked him not to put me and to keep it on the down low so that my parents don’t make the connection that I’m queer. But he keeps making jokes about how we’re both queer in front of people in my church who would put me to mg parents in a heartbeat and k don’t know what to do…. 😓
My coming out was legitimately an unalive attempt. Told my mother in a car while she was driving so she'd just crash us both. Other than not crashing, went as well as i expected. After 14 years my mother's gotten better at least. My father not so much but eff it, we ball.
That’s the situation I’m in currently. I live with my grandparents who I know are homophobic and am atm financially dependent. The only one in my family that knows is my mom and she doesn’t live here anymore. I’m out to my friends and anyone who isn’t in my family and asks.
I came out to my parents, and now they buy me pride stuff, so it all depends on the people
i’m doing this experiment. i think my dad is supportive of trans people but im not sure so whenever we talk politics (hes the most liberal 68 year old i have ever met) im gonna slowly mention trans people to get his view.
this video and some of the comments miss the mark for me. for some people, being closeted causes a lot of emotional pain. especially if you already have mental health issues, it's not hard for that to be the final straw that makes you suicidal or makes you consider committing. and especially so for trans people with gender dysphoria- sometimes the option is come out and be free of the burden or drown in your struggles. don't act like it's an easy choice or people are stupid for coming out to those who won't accept them or could harm them. even being closeted on just your sexuality is painful for a lot of people. it's not that simple. stop acting like it's someone's fault when their family disowns them because they came out and maybe instead try to be supportive of them.
It's not their fault obviously, but It's still probably not a good idea to come out to people you know are unsuppprtive chances are your just gonna end up with more struggles. Best case scenario they pretend you coming out didn't happen at all and treat you exactly the same, worse you lose your house and have to live with friends or on the streets. I'd suggest having a supportive group of friends or even trusted adults like teachers and friends parents who you're out to and who won't invalidate your identity.
@@ice_pls i agree, i just mean to point out that some people can't handle the weight of being closeted, and they don't have a support group. they might be practically forced to come out because their conscience is hurt by being closeted.
My mom knows about my relationships and stuff but my dad doesn't and I'm going to keep it that way because it's the safest thing for me because my dad has a short fuse
If you're German & your parents are refusing to pay for college; SUE THEM they are legally obligated to give you money for higher education.
I wish I new this when I was younger
I wasn't planning on coming out to my parents unless I was fully moved out, completely independent, with a long term partner who would want me to tell them. Unfortunately though I wasn't careful enough about hiding it so when they went through my texts with my best friend they found out
I'm not sure whether i should tell my dad that i have a girlfriend or not. Because i don't know if he's supportive or not. He seems okay with my being a part of the lgbtqia+ community, but there's this small voice that's saying it would be safer to stay semi-closeted for now.
i was terrified of my mother not being supportive,
then i found out my mother is bi
also my mother already new i wasn't straight
Yeah I’m polyamorous, so it’s hard to explain why a relationship didn’t work out with a guy I’m interested in and he was interested. Cause he not polyamorous, so I’m just sitting there hearing my mother go “how’s your boyfriend??” And knowing i can’t correct her😑
I absolutely know my mom and stepdad would not support my coming out. I think my dad suspected i was some sort of queer before he passed, but he never confirmed that when he had the chance. He at least didnt seem mad about it if he did think something was up.
I know mom and stepdad wouldnt because ive heard the things mom likes to yell at the news broadcasts about people like me.
I tried to come out to my parents before but they told me I was too young and didn’t figure it out yet, I will not be revealing my age but I feel unsupported and unsure because they told me “just wait a couple years and if you still feel that way then tell us” and I felt really bad. It made the situation even worse when I was in a class with 4 homophobic kids in it, I read a lot about the lgbtqia+ community and my mom told me I wasn’t allowed to read them anymore :(
Please do an adhd and bisexual bat
The only reason I came out to certain family members is because they stopped trying to own me and I turned from an infant to an adult they weren’t going to fight to keep overnight.
My mom came out 4 me- she talked to me and was like, hun, ur nonbinary, and rn I’m agender bc I wasn’t fully figured and probably will never be!
I saw you wristbands on TikTok shop😅
im out to my mom but she still misgenders me and calls me silly when i bring it up. i am 24 and never really presented as my gender so shes just weird and phobic.
My DAD however, im financially dependent on and i wont be coming out to him until im like.....ig in 2 years when hes not paying for my health shit anymore lol
No ones parents can afford to send their kids to college my parents didn't make enough to put aside for my bro and I and my Step dad worked at Sony
Thank you!!
OMG YESSSS!!
my parents are NOT supportive of therians or LGBTQIA+ like, they would literally disown me. and not even my grandparents would take me in bcuz everyone in my family is very strongly against pride.
so are my friends families, but luckily, I have a supportive friend who family supports me more than my own when it comes to pride, therians, furries, etc.
so if i end up getting disowned, SEND ME TO MY FRIENDS HOUSE!
As a teen yeah i qana cowm out im in a realship i really wana cime out but im alreyd being called homophbic and transphobic slurs cuz the closet is semi see throught hah im so fucked but only 2 years till im an adult and can disappear to a freinds hopefully no more lying gaslighting and abuse
my parents are supportive but its just so scaryyyyyyyyyy
i want them to call me Samantha but i just can't physically say it
My teacher told my parents in 5th grade.
I genuinely don't think my parents know that I've ever dated anyone and like they're supportive and everything we just don't talk about that stuff
My dad chill.
I didnt even tell my mum, when shes suspicious of me she looks at my texts and basically thats how she found out im lesbian 💀
my parents is supportive but i'm still scared my grandma will cut me off
Why did I only just notice donnie in the background? Rise fans unite!
I don't know if I should come out to my dad because I am 12 and have known that I am gay since I was only 6 years old I have come out to my mom and I don't think my dad will care but he is the cind of person who thinks that you can't change your sensuality more than once and that if at 12 I say they'll I'm lesbian and then at 14 I say that I ace he will lable me as "changing my mind" not changing my ways because there's a big difference between saying I am lesbian and I have always been lesbian
1. There's no shame in staying in the closet for your own safety. It doesn't make you any less queer, and I hope you find a safe space eventually to be out and proud. But for now, make sure to be smart about how you express yourself (i.e. subtle pride colored merch).
2. Donnie cameo. This isn't adding anything at all, but he's there and I need to acknowledge it.
My therapist kinda forced me to come out. I was in a therapy meeting with my parents there and she kinda put me in a corner.
Yikes. A therapist shouldn't do that to anybody!
the same thing actually happened to me. i wasn’t ready and it ruined my life - i lost half of my family in one day
my main concern is that i wont be allowed to hang out with my friends anymore but ok
i was mostly forced out so-
I don't see a point to tell my mom that I'm bi unless i will find a girlfriend.
I know my parents support lgbtq, but i dont plan on coming out to them, my plan is to bring my gf home and say nothing
My hospital sent mail with my preferred name, I didn’t get a choice. Not that they weren’t charging me rent anyway
Why come out? Should it not be between you and your partner?
When it comes to coming out as gay, some people want to come out so folks don't constantly ask when you're going to have a partner of the opposite sex. Or make comments about your current partner being a phase bc that's disrespectful to both people. Though in my experience it's easier to hide being gay (and actively having gay relationships) than it is to be trans (and actively living that out) because that says a lot more about who you are daily than who you love. I mean being "stealth" is possible but not always in early stages. And not everyone wants to start a whole new life around new people just to become themselves. I don't like having to come out if I can help it, just letting people figure it out on their own and they stfu about it, but not everyone wants the same or has that luxury.
Yha like girl dont be stupid. Like hun love bestie plz dont tell them.
I told my mom that im aro ace couse i knew she would still love me but she and i wont ever tell dad couse of how homophobic he is
"my dad is homophobic af but Im gonna come out to him, lol prolly end up homeless."
yeah its really stupid.
It's all on a need to know basis, and no one needs to know less than someone who won't support you.
All the bats are sold out and someone with anxiety is not really a good thing right your replies all
Is that a zoophil1a bracelet?
Bro what?
No of course not 😭 one is a pan bracelet the other is queer
Sthu
how about no
@@darkXwolf_15 how about yes
You must be reeeal fun at parties.
Exactly!!