I wasn't planning on adding anime elements to my video but I just went with it. My Ne says you're welcome. Dandere: quiet, awkward, and often a-social character who barely talks. Danderes often want to be sociable but are scared of getting hurt or too embarrassed. Eventually, they might open up to their crush and reveal their true selves, but they will initially act painfully shy around him. (literal meaning: silence x lovey-dovey) Tsundere: initially cold, aloof, and defensive before gradually showing a sweeter, affectionate side to their crush over time. On the surface sharp and sarcastic but underneath lovestruck and fawning, the characteristic of a gap between acted out actions and feelings in mind. (literal meaning: disgust x lovey-dovey) There's this song by Static-P about a Tsundere that I absolutely love (his voice too), you can check it out here: ruclips.net/video/tOzOD-82mW0/видео.html
I was quite surprised that you also know about such terms, even you added Tomoyo Daidouji character in this video (so happy cos l l like Cardcaptor Sakura soooo much!) Me myself as Infp is a Tsundere type 😅
I’m watching your video. I know this is four years ago and I’m sure you’ve changed someone since then grown as a person etc. but I really think you are an INFJ because this sounds way more INFJ to me. INFJ often mistypes themselves as another type.
@@ChildofGod1217 as an infp, I relate to this so much! maybe infj and infp are kinda similar when it comes to crushes, I mean our personality does have a lot in common like procrastination and stuf...
I had a crush on a dude for like 2 years and I never told ANYONE, not even my closest friends. I was crushing HARD buuuut then the last months I saw a little more of who he really was and such and he wasn’t what I had thought so my crush just ended LIKE THAT. Like a snap of my fingers.
Wife of 15 years is an INFP.. when we were in HS I was shocked af when she asked me (I'm an INFJ) out... I thought she was just annoying me and socially awkward. I actually did tell her 'no' at first but she started crying and I saw her heart was broken.. figured there's more to this person that I previously thought and we started dating. Kinda hard cause as an INFJ if we're ignored usually we dismiss them. She turned out to be amazing, smart, good hearted and wonderful though and the best thing to ever happen to me. LOL though - she was known as 'Ice Queen' in HS xD She was also super dorky which was cute.
As INFPs, the only way we can use Fe is to combine our Fi and Te, and you have to feed Te with data, unless you specifically tell them, I don't think many INFPs realize how it makes the other person feel when they ignore them
Ngl she deserved it, it could have been you asking her out and she reject and not give you another chance. Roles is quite different when it come to gender
I sometimes feel like we're so focused on creating this full, huge relationships in our heads, up to the point we don't really need those relationships irl anymore. Or like the real experience would not be enough following the perfect experience we already had in our head... :D sounds weird but I think it has roots in our fear of not finding someone who would understand all that's in our heads and souls, and I personally can say that I always am anxious to tell people (even my family) how I really feel, because I'm scared they're gonna dismiss me. So we feel like it's better to stay in a dream world with our crush, where everything is perfect and they are those amazing, understanding, loving people who instantly get us :)
Yeah the feeling is more like when a dress has been in your wishlist for a while and you don’t want it anymore cuz you’ve already pictured yourself in that dress multiple times by then
I have a coworker, who everyone thinks is a weirdo, but I don't. To me, he is like my former self. I totally get him. Except his "hide and seek" sort of way to kind of "flirt" with me is what I don't get, he is fully engaged one time then avoids me another time then makes up for that by being too friendly and accommodating and sensitive. Idk Other than that, I think ENFPs are capable of understanding you guys.
"Because of my high standards with crushes, with almost all of them I knew even if they liked me back, I wouldn't want to end up marrying them or even dating them because we were incompatible in certain ways. Like I knew that they liked this thing and I didn't, and it was a value of mine, or I knew we didn't have that much in common even though I had a crush on them." I relate to this soooo much hahaha. I think that's probably the biggest reason I never pursued any crushes is because I wouldn't want to be with them anyway, I just wanted to enjoy being around them or interacting with them.
Right totally. I mean mostly .. I have found two women in my whole life that I really love and I'm 47 I haven't been with either .. I guess I'm not ready for what I want
Meeting someone and helping them in a tough spot, ending up accidentally liking them and then developing a relationship that only exists in your head... then you see them and have absolutely nothing to say but still manage to have butterflies and be really happy to see them.
as an INTP, i’m very attracted to the solemn INFP. y’all are so creative, funny, and emotionally complex that i just can’t help but fall head first into y’all’s personality. i hate it lol
INFP here, really wish I could figure out types better to see who I'm actually drawn to & who it's best to be with. In the meantime I'll take this as a compliment.
I’ve always thought I was the only one who reacted this way to having a crush. I’ve never related to anything this much. If I have a crush I will avoid them but then I wanna get noticed. It’s a struggle. I guess I’ll be forever alone.
I'm ENFP and I have a feeling that that guy who happens to unknowingly flirt with me in the office is an INFP. The thing is he's so engaged in talking to me one time then one time avoids me then somehow feels sorry and make up for the behavior, it's confusing. I catch him staring at me like more than 10x but I completely act like I didn't notice it. He has the cutest "hide and seek" style of doing this with me, it's too cute but I end up just getting tired of the confusion. So I unfriended him. By the way, before I unfriended him, we both would deactivate our accounts on periods of time, just alternating it. When I ignore him, something happens to his account, he'd either change the profile photo or whatever there. I feel like he mirrors me too without being too obvious. Like when I change my dp, he'd, later on, change his too, almost matching mine, it's like idk!!! Now that I have completely unfriended him, both of the deactivating was gone, the dp changes are gone, the lengthy posts that seem to be each other's backlash are gone, everything was gone. His dp hasn't been changed for a long time now, and he hasn't deactivated his account for a long time now. Also I noticed that when we are around each other, I noticed we both fidgeted. He would leave the office when he notices me humming to a tune (we both sing, and are both band people me in the past, he until present), but I also noticed his body would point towards me whenever there's a chance for me to sing and I notice him observing me. Also, he sat at the very very front of the stage during a performance I had and was the first one to congratulate me fresh from the stage, squeezed my hand with excitement and then he's gone. Idk. it's confusing. Is he INFP?
strawberry first, he totally sounds like an INF* (may be P or J). Second... WHYYY!!!??? 😟 if the two of you knew the feelings from each other, why didn't you take the first step?😔 I'm also an INFP, a hopeless romantic, and when I hear this kind of stories, my heard just hurt 😪 haha I once swallowed my rational thoughts and went toward the guy that I liked, at least to be friends (we kind of dated but we weren't made for each other) and even tho it didn't work, I don't regret it because it made me feel a little more confident about my self and thought me that if you just take the chance amazing things can happen 🤗
I relate so much to the ignoring and acting "cold around my crush. I had a real crush from a year ago, where I gave a pen to his friend for the exam we were having. My crush then came up to give it to me, and I put on the most bitchy annoyed (for some stupid reason...?) Face, and I didn't even make eye conatct with him as I took the pen, but inside I was like "OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG". Yeah, that was our last interaction cause he probably thought I hated him, heh. And oh the denial part... it is to the point where I wouldn't even look into their faces, so I would not show any emotion or conform to myself that I like them. You know the weirdest part? I do not even know what the crush from my pen incident looked like, I just remember him as a blurry guy with glasses lol.
Hana yesss I do the sammmmeee thing it’s awful I probably seem so confusing to my crush. I recently avoided my crush and gave whatever glares like 😐 but then I commented on their birthday post with a positive message and the double hearts 💕 so my crush is probably so confused or thinks I’m passive aggressive 😭😭😭
"I never really spoke to them though." ME. Also, about how you said you are more comfortable and easy around guys that you arn't attracted to, I have that same issue... its to the point where i tend to attract EXCLUSIVELY guys that im not into. and unfortunately, they tend to be the really clingy ones :( i wonder if avpd is something that is more likely in infp's, because i also feel like i have avpd. ikd.
Courtney M I also tend to attract guys I’m not romantically attracted to and they tend to be clingy ones. I thought that was more to do with me being AvPD and having a fearful-avoidant attachment style but 🤷🏻♀️. From what I’ve seen, INFPs and INFJs are most likely to have AvPD.
@@MeAnINFP That mix just seems like they could probably all be contributing factors. I'll have to look more into attachment styles. Have you figured out how to get the clingers to leave you alone? I've ended up hiding from them (I'm literally doing that right now lol. its hard to do when you go to a small university.) Also, ironically when i watched your video, i didn't have a crush...i have one now and its EXHAUSTING
Attachment styles are really fascinating and explain a lot of how we interact in relationships. I did a video on it if you wanted to check it out. ruclips.net/video/xb12wfJsbQM/видео.html Usually what happens with clingers is I will start to avoid them, or hide like you said, I'm good at that. xD And they give up eventually. I can sense pretty quickly if they're going to be the clingy/anxious type, and most of them have gotten mad about my bad habit of not messaging back in a timely manner. I haven't had to deal with it on campus really, but that would be more difficult since you can't really escape the same area he's in. Yes, crushes are not fun :/
Everything you said was spot on I feel like I have avpd as well I try to be more open about my feelings but I have literally jumped a flight of stairs just to avoid my crush. I hate knowing that I have a problem and wanting to fix it yet not doing so.
I was JUST like that. And then I realized that if I was nice to eeeeverybody I could also be nice with the one I liked and no one would notice... works pretty well hahaha
I’ve had people I talked to say I look “depressed” whenever they see me in school, it’s honestly kinda hurts but I reply with “ahahhah whaaaaat” 🤷🏼♀️ I’m veryyyyy infp yes
I don't know why, but this happened to me too, everyone used to tell me that I looked very sad and at that time it made me feel really bad because it was not what I wanted them to think of me or what I was feeling (at that time I was not depressed or anything like that), some time later I started having some emotional problems, but the year my classmates started to assume that about me I really didn't feel that way (I'm sorry if you don't understand very well what I meant, this is not my native language)
I think generally all INFP's say 'like' every 5 seconds. I know I do it all the time and all my INFP friends do too Even just realised RM from BTS who's a INFP too does it always in interviews 😂
They have exposed their results. Since they also know about the Carl Jung's theory as well But their results for the MBTI are : Suga ,Jungkook = INFP Jin = INTP Jhope = ESFJ Jimin = ENFJ V, RM = ENFP I'm an INFP so no wonder I thought of Suga & Jungkook as sorta "I already knew that" or get their sense of humour people usually brush off. Suga seems like the mature side of me, we both take things litterally although his 6 year old side comes out sometimes & Jungkook seems to be excersised his Se a lot which I also had. A lot of INFP are clumsy or don't know how to do physical things correctly unless they take experiences from the past & use them to their advantage & that's why Jungkook is good at everything because his childhood was active, but his Si is there which is why both yoongi & jk are "lazy" & Fi (makes them feel moody) so it's all about if they feel like doing things or not & doing excersises makes them balance both because that can actually cause health / mental problems (had that happen) INFP are the types to actually "rot" in the corner if no one helps them get out. Think about this. Japan is an INFP country & have you heard of hikikomori? Yes that's what happens. INFPs like suga tho, they are literally grandpa's because INFP is all about philosophy & wisdom & even spirituality. So think of them as Buddha. & Sorry I looked into it & that's true that RM is an ENFP. If you want to know about MBTI look at CS Joseph's channel. He explains about the Carl Jung's theory in MBTI & that's why I learned that types can use other parts of their sides to make it look like another type. (He criticizes tho usually talking avout the immature version of the types so beware to either get mad/sad/think that you're shit)
This is just how I am…avoiding my crushes while I want to get near to them and behaving super cold…because I'm afraid of exposing my true self to others
It does wonders when you AREN’T cold. I’ve learned that by being cold, I’ve already answered the big question for them (whether they like me). I think when I am myself, I am sort of giving life to the fantasy relationship I made of us. Because in the fantasy world, I would not act cold and reserved in front of them. It would be the very opposite.
I also have this problem. As I was thinking about it, I came to the conclusion that without a clear understanding of where I stand with my crush, it's either all or nothing. Either we are a thing, and I can be very loving, or I don't really want to interact with them and spend time that will just be wasted in the long run.
When I like someone and I see them, I ignore them but also really want to talk to them then end up regretting not doing anything at that moment. When talking to them face to face, I get insecure and don’t know what to say and when they’re gone, I think about the things I could’ve said.
My way of dealing with crushes is 1 - Imagine my whole life with them 2 - Tell my closest friends 3 - Never EVER tell them (unless they like me back and tell me they do)
This is kind of sad to be honest. As heavy Fi users, an INFP should be head-over heels ecstatic around a crush. I think it is being so worried that their feelings will get dashed against the rocks that holds them back and keeps them guarded. Other types jump into love only because they have less to lose.
When I was in High School I had this huge crush on this one guy, and I remember this one day he caught me looking at him and I felt so upset that he caught me that I pointed in his direction to my friend who was with me ( we were farther away) so that it looked like we were talking about him and started laughing at nothing so that it looked like we were making fun of him. He turned beat red and walked away thinking that we were laughing that him for some reason. I feel awful about it to this day. Poor kid lol
Thanks for telling your story here (which I probably could never do). I'm an INFP male, I rarely comment on youtube but every one of your thoughts is 120% accurate... it's like you've literally read my mind. How did you improve ?
fornax Improve on not avoiding my crushes...? I’ve only made very slight progress. I’d say improving your self-esteem helps. And if anxious, think that most likely the worst that would happen is that they just don’t like you back. Which isn’t too bad because that means you weren’t meant to be with them anyway.
I'm really thankful I found this video,like this is really me,I thought I was abnormal,LOL Like I thought i was an extrovert but I was introverted person the whole time,this video really helps to understand myself better.
I'm really thankful I found this video,like this is really me,I thought I was abnormal,LOL Like I thought i was an extrovert but I was introverted person the whole time,this video really helps to understand myself better.
I'm an enfp and I really like this infp girl. She told me about 6 months ago that she had a crush on me when we first. I had absolutely no idea. I want to tell her I like her but I don't know how she feels at all! infps make it SO hard to gauge how they feel about you romantically. But as friends, they are so supportive, loyal, and so caring. I've never met another personality type that's as sweet and soft
As a 37-year-old infp I still can't tell my crushes that I like them, or show any hint until I have a feeling they like me to. Most of the time most my crushes never know. I am very reserved.
This is extremely relatable!! Whenever i started to realize that i like a guy.. i would start denying my feelings, i write down stuff on why i shouldn't like him.. sometimes i exaggerate. I dont really knew this person too much. In college, i prefer to observe him from afar. If i happen to talk to him, i am stiff and i usually afterwards, i regret on how i didn't manage to show my friendly side to him. This is quite painful... I drove away most of the people that i am interested in, makes me feel lonely and i am still single 😂 though, i do continue to deny and write more stuff on why he isn't the one for me until i happen to move on.
I was in such a big denial, that when my crush (my friend of 3 years) started to send me signals that "yes, there might be something going on" I was swearing like a sailor for 2 hours straight with "this can't be happening to me" written on my face. It all worked out eventually, but my friends have had soooo much fun 😂
i’m the worst abt crushes. i remember one time i had a crush on this one guy for like months and every day in class we would make eye contact so it felt like we were both obviously attracted to each other. anyway one day he came up and sat next to me to work together and i straight up ignored him THE WHOLE CALSS PERIOD. he usually sat on the opposite side of the room and here we are sitting next to each other in silence. after this i though that he hated me so i would purposely ignore him even more🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️ my big thing is eye contact. bc i really feel like i can connect w people w out actually having to connect w them idk. i basically make an effort to show people i like them through eye contact and it works, but then as soon as that person actually makes a move i tend to ignore them. eek idk why i do this pls help me LOL
Yes for some reason ignoring tends to be our gut reaction sometimes haha. Eye contact is good though! You got it started, now you just have to work yourself up to speaking to them. I’d recommend kinda putting yourself near them for a few days to warm up, and think about a topic you could talk to them about or ask them a question. Then if you see a good opportunity, you’ll already know what to say. Maybe you making the first move instead of them will work for you, worth a try! If you don’t want to do that, then maybe just try to smile at them if they make a move, even if you can’t talk to them.
Same ! I had a terrible a crush on a guy for two years and never told him, i avoided him so hard that once i was over him and we started to talk, he asked me :"Do you actually hate me?" And boom then I realized that my "tactic" was a big failure lol
it’s crazy how similar we are but at 18:06 tho 😭 wherever i had crushes on someone i’d secretly be hoping he has a girlfriend so i could ship them... and if he has none i’d ship him with whomever 😔 i think i’m going to die alone
I feel like for me I need them to be dating someone to answer my question of whether they like me. There is no harsher truth that them dating someone else. I think with INFPs, it’s always a race with the fantasy and the reality. Reality usually wins.
Relate so much as INFP! I'm cold-hearted, avoidant, somehow anti social, and even people told me I'm like L, a character in Deathnote but on the shy part i'm like little girl who has a crush on celebrity she just met haha Now I'm curious if you ever been in relationship or not, because I wanna know what it's like to be an INFP in a relationship? Do you suddenly open your real self or gradually or you find it difficult? I'm curious..I had crushes but never in relationship 😆 And I'll add some info: INFP aware of themself, they aware they have both dark and light side and I think that's one of the complicated things we've to deal everyday. INFP tend to like solitude, and space. As for mine, I even try to embrace this and prepare if I later have to live alone hahaha we sometimes think, that's the better way. It has relation with our idealism and daydream. We easily forget, because of many thoughts we have in our head, and this may lead to unclear life goals.
This. Plus the two times I admitted to myself that I did like them and I got a gut feeling they might like me back, I started to make up all these excuses why it shouldn't happen. For example, I convinced myself that an old friend of mine liked him and she actually knew him (they were friends), so she had way more rights to like him than I did. I couldn't intervene with that! So back to the ignoring and denying I went...
Greetings, I’m a fellow INFP! ❤️ For those in the comments saying they will forever be alone, don’t lose hope! I’ve had the same experiences being so closed off and avoidant to my “crushes” in the past. I self sabotage so much, since I’m always in my head thinking they don’t really like me or have ulterior motives. I also follow my intuition a lot and many guys appear to have bad intentions. 😭 I think the best thing for INFP’s is to find their twinflame or soul mates (there’s a big difference)... 🌌 A twin flame is basically someone who is somewhat your other half, they just get you, and you connect immensely on many different levels/chakras in the body. They just feel like home and you feel at peace/whole with them. Soulmates on the other hand are people apart of your soul family. While soul mates are still a strong connection it’s not as powerful as the twinflame. I’ve found my twin flame and it was life changing, he meets all my standards and exceeds it. We feel pulled to each other energetically all the time. I’ve gotten much closer to my spirit and God ✝️ through this experience with my twinflame (TF). Unfortunately we’re not together yet, but we’re in the same community and we feel each other all the time and see each other here and there. We in-distinctively KNOW we will be together one day or at-least give the connection a shot. It’s really challenging me and I love and hate it at the same time. But I know divine timing will prevail!! May God be with you all!!! Hope this helps someone ❤️ love and hugs 🫂 🤗💕
"I knew that even if they liked me back I wouldn't want to end up marrying them or even dating them" 20:22 so true hahaha I used to be utterly obsessed with my crushes but then I'd tell my friends " yeah but I don't REALLY like them"
What a great vid.. after seeing this video I'm sure that i'm an infp.. I trully loved your vid and your explanation which was on point. Q: Am i the only infp who actually loses his interest in crush when he found that the " crush" is not as perfect as he thought? Do you think that in someway you -as an infp- are a perfectionist?
Wejdan Asiri Thank you for your comments! I love hearing them. Yes, I’ve done the same thing. I call it disillusionment because I was idealizing them and then realizing they weren’t that idealized person. It was sometimes almost a mourning process, but other times yes, just losing interest because something that we discover clashes with our values or our perfectionism.
It’s like we stay away and then in that time we are looking/running multiple scenarios for something to dislike so we don’t have to open up to someone new. The idea of sharing feeling is too much. Words can’t be used well to do that for me.
me when i don't have a crush on someone: oooh, i love you! You are great me when i do have a crush on them: ... hello. Nah, i don't like you at all *never look them in the eye. Pretends i don't see them* LMAO
😂😭🤣 This is so me! Why?! I hate crushes. How do you kill a crush? It feels like the more I try to deny it, the worse it gets. It’s painful, and not something I want, especially right now.
Any other INFPs have a very hard time getting over crushes? Like EXTREMELY hard time? I still have a crush on a guy I went to high school with but literally have not seen him in like 2 years
Steph Clark I think INFPs have the ability to hold onto emotions and remember or idealize our feelings, so old crushes can be hard to get over sometimes.
Over 10 years here. I keep the feelings at a distance, because I know it's stupid and delusional. I've done everything I can to move on, but I've never gone more than a few days without thinking of them. Most of the time it's every day. I wish I had some advice to give. Just don't waste your life on it, they are often very different in reality than the idea of them we have in our heads. Thinking objectively about them and their actions during the time I did know them, helps remind me that they probably would have been a bad partner in reality.
@@jkff2472 I think that’s the worst part about it! You know it’s delusional and you know that they’re probably nothing like you imagine them to be like, but you just keep replaying sweet memories and flirty moments in your head and then it leads to the “what if I bump into them again?” Or “what if we did end up getting together?” It’s the what if’s that keep me holding on to hope, but it’s very likely this person rarely if ever thinks about me. I’m very good and breaking my own heart I suppose
Also - I think part of this is that I haven't found a genuine and meaningful relationship in the years that have past, so I think back on this person that seemed like a good match, but was never tested. But when I think critically about it, they showed signs of behaviour that would have been really hurtful in a close relationship. INFPs really need someone that is incredibly genuine and purposeful, to form a real connection with and shake us out of our daydreaming. Many of us really don't care for anything less than that and will sit on the sidelines for a very long time hoping that someone like this will show up. Then we will need to find the courage to make eye contact with them 😂
@@jkff2472 you’re absolutely right, if I feel even the slightest bit of disingenuous from someone, I drop them right then and there. It takes a lot for me to really be attracted to someone, so when it does happen I tend to latch onto that attraction and just increasingly become more and more attracted to that person. But you’re so right about the eye contact 😂😂😂 it’s like when I’m really attracted to someone I ignore them completely lmao, idk why I’m like this
I had a crush on a guy during 2 years and one day he asked me to be his girlfriend and i RUINED everything caus he wasnt what i imagined he would be i was totally idealizing him
yeah ISTJ and INFP are quite similar, considering they use same functions and also both are internal focus. so yeah similarities are quite huge. As an Infj with Istp brother, we also have the same behavior as well.
My INFP spouse HATED me on our first few encounters. I literally just laughed and smirked at them. I would poke them...just a little bit...every time. They begrudgingly accepted my help, and appreciated our deep talks. After maybe a year of this banter and relaxed frenemy status...I asked them out. They got super quiet for a few seconds before blushing and nodding. Total tsundere. We thought our romance was really weird and made absolutely no sense at all until we did the MBTI thing. ENTP x INFP...it just works.
Think about how many crushes you had that may have also been INFP's that had a crush on you as well and acted the same way towards you and you didn't move forward because you thought they didn't like you : )
OMG YOU ARE JUST LIKE ME! I’m in shock at how relatable this is! Thank you for existing and expressing how it is for INFPs because now I know I’m not alone.
@ Me An INFP You seem like a very well adjusted INFP. Good for you. don't change. Enjoy your inner beauty and your strangeness. I love it. Other INFP's can see you and hear you. Have a great life and embrace your uniqueness
i literally make my own tv series in my head with this exact scenario..it's my habit before going to sleep and cannot fall asleep before creating a scene or a dialogue of a kind..my social life is non-existant in reality but really interesting in my mind 😂
As an INFP Male, I can relate to a lot of this. I've definitely had issues with crushes in the past, and expressing that. But I'm also severely depressed, self-loathing, and apathetic. What a wonderful combo, yay, fun. I too get jealous of guys who are with girls I like, my brain goes: "Lucky bastard." One of the new things I've been dealing with over the past few weeks is that I'm fervently in love with this girl that I know I have no chance with, and while I know she's not perfect, in my mind I've put her on a pedestal because she's everything I've been looking for for the past 20 years. And I don't think I'm in love with the IDEA of her, I'm pretty confident it's actually HER I'm in love with. And this feeling absolutely sucks. I hate it. It hurts SO MUCH inside. I think we'd be really good for each other, but I know that it'll never happen. I'm nobody special or important, why should she care? She deserves someone better than me anyway. And I do ideate "...things that were, things that are, and some things that have not yet come to pass." To the point of silly fake conversations with her, and adventures and experiences we could share. (Nothing sexual, which might seem strange. I am willing to wait until marriage if someone has that belief, and she's definitely worth waiting for.) But it pains me deeply. I know intellectually that I'll never spend the rest of my life with her, and I know intellectually that I'll survive. But emotionally, it's devastating. Nigh unrecoverable. And it pains me greatly. And this isn't a crush, I've had crushes, I know what crushes feel like... I've never felt like this about anyone before. I would tackle a grizzly bear to protect her. Part of me is thrilled by it, part of me hates it, part of me thinks I'm stupid for feeling this way. /sigh I feel invisible also. I don't crave attention, I just want to be loved and accepted. Intellectually, I know I'm worth loving, I know I can bring value to a relationship, but emotionally I also feel that I don't deserve love or happiness, which doesn't help either. /sigh I appreciate you putting these things into words so that other INFPs can relate and know they aren't alone in their awkwardness. Thank you.
This is interesting... I tend to not hide it like this. I try to be more friendly and sociable to get them to want to be around me despite being a super awkward and nervous human. Which tends to lead to feeling more awkward and eventually they probably figure it out. I’ve been told I’m very readable in that way, because I don’t keep a large circle of friends so it is apparent if I am around them a lot. But yeah I’m definitely the more awkward and verrryyyyy idealistic type and I get the jealous thing although I’m a type 9 enneagram
When I was in middle school, after a year of having a crush the guy finally asked me out. Two months later he broke up with me and didn’t tell me why, but I now know that it was because i emotion dumped on him, which I heard is also common for young infps 😓 it makes sense, because it’s a big difference from not knowing anything about me to knowing too much about me
This is so probably very off topic, so apols but is very related to crushes, and also a very INFP-centric issue: The worst part is dealing with crushes, love and relationships is breaking up.... post-breakup is by far that is the worst part!!! A part of me still mourns for my things ended with my 1st love, and this is more than 10 years ago. Another part of me mourns for everyone I loved and lost since my 1st love. And yet another part of me has to process "anticipatory grief" for those special love(s) I have yet to meet that I will lose in the future. Every day I have a lot of existential angst and sadness to negotiate, yet at the same time, I feel a oneness with all life and the universe, and the world is so beautiful, even if it is ugly and pretty F***ed up. The duality and paradoxes of life and love (or limerance, if you talk about the topic of this video) are so ironic. The term bittersweet was probably invented by an INFP.
I agree breaking up iz the worst I swear first 6 monthz i think i may have cried everynight my stomach so twisted didn't even care 2 eat, id often wonder if he felt the same pain i did and i felt all alone i get tearz in my eyez just typing this after about a year and a half i kind dealt with it abit better started facebook stalking abit and now after about 2 and half yearz im pretty much over it but the lonelinezz iz still there.
[Tldr] I can totally relate to you even on spiritual level lol if that even makes sense. Might as well add all the thoughts, worries and double takes whether I should confess or not. "What if she do not reciprocate my feelings?" "What if she gets bored with our conversations?" "What if she gets annoyed whenever I talk/message her?" All these fears are cluttered inside my mind. I hate having crush because it always ends up in failure which constantly drags my self esteem to rock bottom. I daydream a lot about what i could do to make her notice me but every single time I cross them out and never do it. We INFPs are so sensitive that it makes me frustrated at how it drains so much energy from me. I hate having crush but the fantasies of being together with the person you like is such a sweet thought but a bitter reality because there are 100% chance that it will not work. Nothing ever worked for me. I specifically searched for a vid like yours because I am madly in love to this girl i met in an event. We talked a lot during that day and I immediately realized how amazing it will be if we end up for each other. So I go to the events she arranges and joined her team to help her. But it sort of backfired and she almost don't talk to me anymore unless it's about our the events we are planning. It really sucks and I'm afraid that I'm overthinking again. I hope my thoughts are wrong this time and I am still hoping that she'll like me back. By the way, i also noticed that we tend to be possessive/obsessed to the person we like. I can't take it when she's talking with other people. But I can't really show to her that I am upset because I have no right to be upset. Just really thankful to at. least know that there are people who can actually resonate with me.
Well I feel validated! litterly everything you said😂👍I almost feel I act like an asshole around my crush but in reality I don’t try to ever be and it just comes out and I don’t know why🤷♂️😄also strait up day dream and avoid for days. never talk to them hoping to hang out one day idk🤷♂️
you'll probably never see this but just in case you're an intuitive type and we tend to have flat faces we don't show our expressions and we're all about the what ifs or seeing the future and we're kind of unusual you're about the what ifs I'm about seeing the future I'm an infj your and infp. Intuitive types the world doesn't really like but I encourage you to be yourself because the world needs us a lot right now we're in a very dark place so please don't be afraid to shine
You know what really freaking sucks? When your crush that you've been waiting for from a distance dates someone else. Then I'd wait it all out as I kick myself for not making a move.
Omggg For the first time in my life I feel really understood😱 I am INFP and Ennagram number 4 too and everything you just told in this video... it is like you were talking about me. Thank you for this, I will no longer feel like the weirdest person in the world doing all this stuff when I know, someome have it and do it in same way like i do🥰
I have a crush who I think would be a really great friend. Just friend, I'm happy with that. Most of our interest are the same... I couldn't talk to him.... I just daydreams about us talking and being friends.. I feel uncomfortable with myself thinking that I am thinking that. Then I'll convince myself that he isn't my type until I believe it myself 😂...😃..😢
your thoughts in this video are so poignantly accurate and so in line with my life. every single bit; well except for the fact that I am a guy, unlike you. As an INFP male, I have had 4 big crushes (including my current crush). I often ignore(d) them and only stare(d) at them when they were (are) not looking. However, although my relationships with my crushes have slightly improved with time, I never told any of my first three crushes until I knew I was far away from them, and therefore could avoid any (live) embarrassment if I were going to be rejected (I always communicated that over phone or facebook or other communication media that did not require being close to them). In a sense, it was a way of telling them "I had a crush on you but never had the courage to tell you, but I just wanted to let you know, so lmk if you're interested :-)". and every time, I'd be like 'whew, thank God I won't have to deal with that again'. I had my first crush in middle school. She was my deskmate and is probably the only person who knew that I had a crush on her before I told her. I had my second crush when I was in high school, and my third during my gap year before college. I have a new crush each time I change my environment. Then, I met my fourth crush as a freshman in college, and because I am attending a big college, I have never talked to her. I rarely ever see her, but I fell for her the first time I saw her. She is just magnificent, but I know that I probably won't ever tell her that I had (have) feelings for her. I guess I have come to accept this reality as an INFP :-(. I'll be a college sophomore soon, and the only thought of talking to her at some point would freak me out, yet I madly love her (playing out silly idealistic dreams in my head. I used to think that I was romantic for having such thoughts, but now I guess that's the only way I can imagine myself being with her: in my own mind). Thanks for sharing your story
I used to be very idealistic about my crushes. Now though I don't have crushes as often and am less naive/more realistic. I made a choice not to pursue the crush I had in college because it was clear he wasn't interested. I made a small move of interest: a friend request on social media, etc. and he didn't respond. And so he just graduated and I'll never see him again, and never really spoke to him. I know we could've been good friends, but I'm at peace with my decision. I accepted that I was attracted but that it was pointless to have a crush on him ( and maaybe a little salty about him not seeing how great I am). I believe I have become very SLIGHTLY more able to initiate when it comes to crushes.
I don't like feeling vulnerable for my feelings towards someone I like, it feels also like I'm loosing control over myself. Due to this, with the last two guys I liked I confessed my feelings to them in order to have a concrete knowledge of how they saw me. Although, it doesn't low the wave of intense feelings of sadness it allows me to be over it in less time in contrast to if I just keep it to myself. Something important is that I only have confessed my feelings when I knew the other person would care enough and be kind to me even when rejecting me.
As an infp-a, I used to build idealist scenarios in my head and struggled to express my feelings. As I've worked on myself, I've come to accept my feelings now and value communication and transparency. I would take some time to process my own feelings and would let the person know after now. I am accepting and patient even if they don't feel the same. I now feel at ease that I can express my emotions and much happier that I can do that. I feel very calm about it. We're very much in tune with our emotions, it's a whole ass journey. Lol Therapy is key. I am attracted to emotionally expressive, authentic, and non-judgmental people. I guess that's where opposites attract. I am emotionally observant when I get to know people and I love listening and absorb the details, emotions and experience like a sponge.
Histoires de fou Caroline Henry I have social anxiety which includes fear of public speaking/performance anxiety so no, I haven’t acted. It seems like it would be cool though. Thank you for the complement!
I keep seeing this stereotype of INFPs being "hopeless romantics", who fantasize with huge weddings and that always end up confessing their love absolutelly out of nowhere in totally awkward situations, that almost made me feel i was never an INFP, as i've always been just the way you're talking in the video. I'm super platonic and tend to avoid showing my feelings as much as I can and even avoid my crushes... I've never been someone who fantasizes in daydreams about getting married an having kids and the names of the kids and stuff like that, as i keep seeing in those stereotypes videos (usually done by people who are not INFPs)
but yes, i do daydream idealizing the person, as if they're perfect and put them on a pedestal. But never as in "planning" the rest of my life with them... although... yeah, this might have happened a few times, but it's not my usual. I mostly tend to avoid the feeling and the person the most i can
INFP guy here. I had a very different experience, I would nearly ALWAYS make a fool out of myself (I was shy but impulsive), it was always very obvious who I liked because I have a habit of staring/getting flustered or making dumb jokes to get them to notice me. got very lost in idealism, in love with love, to the point where my friends would be like "you realize they have flaws right?" or I would hate them for being mean to me (which happened 5 times oh geez) but couldn't let go of my feelings even so. nearly every single crush I had grew up to be an engineer, I guess I have a type lmao, I think they're usually E/INTP or E/ISTP, one was an ISFJ. I managed to confess a few times but never dated them. been several years and I miss them, thank you introverted sensing... after I left highschool I stopped having such intense crushes, although I did meet someone for the first time the other day and think she's so lovely. but I'm much less obvious now I think. I can have a proper conversation where I get to know her, remembering her favourite things, watching her light up when talking about it is very endearing. also as an artist, the colour of people's clothes have always attracted me, or anyone else who's artistic/creative. my strangest experience was liking an ENTJ who was always analysing me and taking me out my comfort zone.
My Dear, I just want to assure you that EVERYONE feels vulnerable when they are being true to themselves and this situation matters. That's called being human and it's a wonderful thing because that's where the real aspects of life live. Let yourself be vulnerable (to people who you trust). And no need to worry, you are an introverted Feeler so it's natural for us (I'm an INTJ) to be private with our feelings and not show them too often. Also, you are young and a little insecure, probably because somebody hurt you that you don't remember when you were young. It's okay to feel protective over your feelings. Just don't judge yourself for that. When you really learn to love yourself, you won't be as afraid to be yourself. You will naturally feel more comfortable around guys who are good for you/to you. It takes time to grow into that. It took me until I was like thirty! Of course I'm a lesbian so got a much later start at dating because when I came out it was 1986 (I'm 50) and I felt like the ONLY one. So I always had to hide my girl crushes for fear of them freaking out. So my crushes were just in my head as well, like yours, or I'd have a crush on a close friend so it was painful because we would be emotionally close but it was always unrequited so there was never any romantic reciprocation (except once in college). I used to feel stiff around the crushes I had on acquaintances. I think that is just fear. When you are afraid, you get very alert and hyper-aware, which makes your body stiffen up and be careful for fear of being judged by them. But now it's not like that at all. Once you've told a few of your crushes how you feel and you realize it's not the end of the world, it gets a lot easier and you get more relaxed. Maybe next time, if your crush is someone with whom you have some compatibility, find a good time to get them alone and tell them how you feel. It will be fine. You just have to love yourself first and you'll ease into it. That is the key to attracting someone who loves you for you and who you love as well. Have fun and don't worry. ***HUGS*** Oh, btw, also, my ex-wife is an INFP and my current girlfriend of 7 years is an INFP. My ex-wife was pretty shy at first but she boldly introduced herself to me (we were in our early thirties). My current GF was very shy but also approached me. Once we got comfortable with each other, she would just get really talkative and silly and cute and adorable!
I also can get talkative and silly and adorable with someone who I'm really comfortable with, but it's very rare that I reach that closeness level with someone. Thank you for your encouraging advice! :)
I always love the insights that INTJ's like your self can come up with (My 1st serious relationship in my college years was with someone I am almost certain is INTJ, and I really loved and valued her intellect and insights and deep conversations). I don't know how I missed this, but yes, it is true, everyone feels vulnerable when they are being true to themselves. It's interesting that both INFP's in your life approached you, as apparently, this is something typically outside of an INFP's comfort zone (for both guys as well as gals). Most of my Ex's actually made the first move with me, which bucks the trend for the guy to approach the girl. Your story is inspiring, and I feel has somehow helped me, so thanks for your input Aubrey.
I am also an infp lesbian... AND ITS SO HARD TO FIND THAT PERSON FOR ME! I have a crush and then I feel disappointed when they dont notice me or dont give me any sort of response. I feel so alone and it seems impossible for somebody that I like to like me back TAT It feels heartbreaking tbh and I am sick of it ;C
my gut instinct whenever I see my crush is that im not gonna let them be anywhere near me because hey they are my crush and i don't want them to see the big embarrassment i am. this sounds very self-deprecating but this is how it is whenever i see or think of my crush, i just have a flight reaction and run away from them literally and figuratively.
Omg i feel attacked! Hahaha. I have a crush on this one guy in my office. As an infp i genuinely will be nice and smile to everyone in the office. But to this particular one guy who i have a crush on, I ignore him and dont even smile. My coworkers always said to me that im weird. For thrm if they have a crush they will smile the brightest and say hello. For me. Ahahhaa even when he smile i just pretend like nothing happen but my heart beat sooooo fast everytime he smile. Hahahah
You'll never know how many times I wrote in this comment just to erase the whole thing a few seconds later. But let me tell you this... listening to your story gave me a whole flashback of my love life. XD Thank you.
wow, it is unbelievable how much I related to so many things you said in this video. I am also ALWAYS idealizing them, almost never telling my friends about them (if they know him), acting different around them (trying to be cool and special), putting in my whole energy to not show in any way I like them (unless I know they like me too), talking with them in my head (idk if you mention smth like this too) and most importantly - realizing that we are a bad match and could never be together anyway, even when spending days and days (sometimes years) just talking with them in my head and thinking about them, and listening to love songs... I am a truly hopeless romantic. and an asexual which just makes everything 10x sadder because I want to be with someone who's asexual too and I have never met an asexual guy in my life yet, but I have had many HARD crushes... (fun times) The only thing that is different from you is that I almost never deny it (maybe only at the beginning but I can't fool myself). Quite the opposite - I literally say in my head all the time how much I love them, even out loud sometimes accidentally. I really do love this person and I am going to keep just watching him, having fun with him, and accept the fact that I am the only one who knows about this and it is fine. It really is. I am just happy already to look into his eyes and see him smile, and knowing that he really likes me as a friend. And I love to dream... (INFP 9w1 sx/so)
I mean I don’t really crush on people but when i do i am such a mess. I know it’s not gonna work, I know that there’s no possible way for me to get close to that person in any way. But i just can’t stop dreaming for something unlikely to happen. My brain goes like; You don’t even know him, he may be a bad person, he isn’t actually what you’re looking for, this wouldn’t work, i gotta learn to love me before i expect someone else to love me, he is beyond my level etc. But my heart also goes like; ohh look he is going out should i also go? oh he looks so fun wish i could go and talk to him god he is behind me i don’t want him to notice me but i am just gonna talk louder and force myself to say something funny
I think we like fantasising about our crushes rather than the reality if being with them. In our fantasisies everything can be perfect, there is no conflict (you may argue but it always works out and you don't feel real emotional pain), you can pick up and drop the fantasy whenever you want to, you are never disappointed or vulnerable. And you can swap crush subject to someone else without hurting anyone
I would not really make a move. Nothing happens, not even a chance. Like, he’s just a crush that I feel good when he’s around and nothing more than that.
You're cute like my sister. She's supposedly ISFJ. I'm INFP. She too had a Diary, i think. My dad wanted me to follow up my older sister because we're / was conservative, my younger brother ended up following my her. He's ENTJ. My older Sister is ENTP. Strangely. These last two had always been friends.
thank you for making this video! Loved this talking session aha. As an infp i litterally relate to each point you presented wow! Our mind is so complex, having a crush as an infp is a sweet torture because even though we love we just don't accept it and don't see ourselves in relation...
![Twenty One Pilots - “The Line” (from Arcane Season 2) [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/E2Rj2gQAyPA/mqdefault.jpg)
I wasn't planning on adding anime elements to my video but I just went with it. My Ne says you're welcome.
Dandere: quiet, awkward, and often a-social character who barely talks. Danderes often want to be sociable but are scared of getting hurt or too embarrassed. Eventually, they might open up to their crush and reveal their true selves, but they will initially act painfully shy around him.
(literal meaning: silence x lovey-dovey)
Tsundere: initially cold, aloof, and defensive before gradually showing a sweeter, affectionate side to their crush over time. On the surface sharp and sarcastic but underneath lovestruck and fawning, the characteristic of a gap between acted out actions and feelings in mind.
(literal meaning: disgust x lovey-dovey)
There's this song by Static-P about a Tsundere that I absolutely love (his voice too), you can check it out here: ruclips.net/video/tOzOD-82mW0/видео.html
@@user-is1nm9fp4m
I was quite surprised that you also know about such terms, even you added Tomoyo Daidouji character in this video (so happy cos l l like Cardcaptor Sakura soooo much!) Me myself as Infp is a Tsundere type 😅
I LOVE how you put Tomoyo into this video, she is the best😭😍🥳
I’m watching your video. I know this is four years ago and I’m sure you’ve changed someone since then grown as a person etc. but I really think you are an INFJ because this sounds way more INFJ to me. INFJ often mistypes themselves as another type.
@@ChildofGod1217 as an infp, I relate to this so much! maybe infj and infp are kinda similar when it comes to crushes, I mean our personality does have a lot in common like procrastination and stuf...
me: "He's way out of my league! He'll never notice me so why even try?"
also me: *fantasies about a future together*
Omg this happened until he find a new gurl
yup
accurate.
100%
lmao stupid nerds
"A girl that hates the fact that she likes you." -lol. this is me.
Same. I end the best relationships and admit the mistake before, during, and after making it 🤦🏼♀️
10 things I hate about you is the best movie to this topic...haha
I had a crush on a dude for like 2 years and I never told ANYONE, not even my closest friends. I was crushing HARD buuuut then the last months I saw a little more of who he really was and such and he wasn’t what I had thought so my crush just ended LIKE THAT. Like a snap of my fingers.
I mean, he was a bit arrogant idk but it just didn’t go with my personality so I was like uhm okayyyyyyy
omg same
It went from "wow so gorgeous" to "eh whatever" in seconds after crushing on them for years
Omggg yesssss
SAME GURLLL
I lose interest fast too. Maybe because we fantasise about them a lot like imagining them to be perfect while in reality, they are flawed humans.
A crush (ENTP) told me that we should just be friends and that "you're just in love with the idea of me" and sure, it was the truth.
Hits hard but it is reality. . . :(
Omg, this is happening to me :''
because we are an idealist :")
i’m in the same boat here :’)
My boyfriend is and ENTP but I feel in love with his true self ^-^
I was lucky enough I guess. As an infp I actually dated all of my crushes... even though neither of them ever found out we were dating.
bro can i have some of that confidence
@@kaelkirkby9191 lol
😂
😁😁😁😂😂😂so true
@@EthicsandEconomics LoL
Wife of 15 years is an INFP.. when we were in HS I was shocked af when she asked me (I'm an INFJ) out... I thought she was just annoying me and socially awkward. I actually did tell her 'no' at first but she started crying and I saw her heart was broken.. figured there's more to this person that I previously thought and we started dating. Kinda hard cause as an INFJ if we're ignored usually we dismiss them. She turned out to be amazing, smart, good hearted and wonderful though and the best thing to ever happen to me. LOL though - she was known as 'Ice Queen' in HS xD She was also super dorky which was cute.
How sweet that you keep this feelings for her after 15 years! Your story is so cute, things should always be like this😌
I wish you the best!
As INFPs, the only way we can use Fe is to combine our Fi and Te, and you have to feed Te with data, unless you specifically tell them, I don't think many INFPs realize how it makes the other person feel when they ignore them
Cutest story ever 😭
im an infp and im also known as 'ice queen' among my friends but thats mainly because i hv cold hands-
Ngl she deserved it, it could have been you asking her out and she reject and not give you another chance.
Roles is quite different when it come to gender
Dudeeee, I'm an INFP having a crush on an INFP, and i gotta say, its just tragic.. T_T
Update: it didn't really work out.. so yeah..
Illuminatus Someone has to make the first move ;-;
Same here. Two adults 30+ and 50+. Jesus.
Illuminatus Why is it tragic?
@@bojanab.9424 Hint: Ice wall
Wish I find an infp for me
I sometimes feel like we're so focused on creating this full, huge relationships in our heads, up to the point we don't really need those relationships irl anymore. Or like the real experience would not be enough following the perfect experience we already had in our head... :D sounds weird but I think it has roots in our fear of not finding someone who would understand all that's in our heads and souls, and I personally can say that I always am anxious to tell people (even my family) how I really feel, because I'm scared they're gonna dismiss me.
So we feel like it's better to stay in a dream world with our crush, where everything is perfect and they are those amazing, understanding, loving people who instantly get us :)
Preach sis! You read my thoughts 😂
Yeah the feeling is more like when a dress has been in your wishlist for a while and you don’t want it anymore cuz you’ve already pictured yourself in that dress multiple times by then
but ENFPs are well able to understand
Lonely Pøtato strawberry i never met one so l’ll take your word for it :D
I have a coworker, who everyone thinks is a weirdo, but I don't. To me, he is like my former self. I totally get him. Except his "hide and seek" sort of way to kind of "flirt" with me is what I don't get, he is fully engaged one time then avoids me another time then makes up for that by being too friendly and accommodating and sensitive. Idk Other than that, I think ENFPs are capable of understanding you guys.
LMAO. Before I even started the video my answer was "I ignore them". And, welp, there you have it. 😆
You are correct. xD
Oh yes she said it. I was waiting for it. I act the sameee
Y tho?
Yesss and then I get worried that they hate me.
macho tony But why? 😪Do you like torturing people you like? I try to understand.
Infp culture is developing a crush on several ppl you've never spoke to
Charlotte Yup! 🙈
"Because of my high standards with crushes, with almost all of them I knew even if they liked me back, I wouldn't want to end up marrying them or even dating them because we were incompatible in certain ways. Like I knew that they liked this thing and I didn't, and it was a value of mine, or I knew we didn't have that much in common even though I had a crush on them." I relate to this soooo much hahaha. I think that's probably the biggest reason I never pursued any crushes is because I wouldn't want to be with them anyway, I just wanted to enjoy being around them or interacting with them.
Dawnleafxoxo Pff, same with me. ^^;
Right totally. I mean mostly .. I have found two women in my whole life that I really love and I'm 47 I haven't been with either .. I guess I'm not ready for what I want
Meeting someone and helping them in a tough spot, ending up accidentally liking them and then developing a relationship that only exists in your head... then you see them and have absolutely nothing to say but still manage to have butterflies and be really happy to see them.
Does it also have the apparent need and want to take care of them? xD
as an INTP, i’m very attracted to the solemn INFP. y’all are so creative, funny, and emotionally complex that i just can’t help but fall head first into y’all’s personality. i hate it lol
I'm an INFP and I hate the fact that I rlly like u INTP's for some reason 😂😭
Me as an INFP I'm really interested in INTP
@@sameerakhan7455 x2
INFP here, really wish I could figure out types better to see who I'm actually drawn to & who it's best to be with. In the meantime I'll take this as a compliment.
Don't worry, us INFPs also hate how we simply cannot resist INTPs.
I’ve always thought I was the only one who reacted this way to having a crush. I’ve never related to anything this much. If I have a crush I will avoid them but then I wanna get noticed. It’s a struggle. I guess I’ll be forever alone.
Zay C You’re not alone in reacting this way at least! Maybe we’ll be forever alone together 😅
everything you said was painfully relatable. everything.
The pain is real
I've had a crush on a guy for 11 years straight now and I just ignore him whenever he's near and sigh and look at him from afar
How do I act when I have a crush? I STALK THEM ON FACEBOOK.
(also, lovesickness. And ghosting/cutting them away becuase i know i can't be with them)
^ Yep
SAMEEEEEEEEEEE BRUH
Yupp
I'm ENFP and I have a feeling that that guy who happens to unknowingly flirt with me in the office is an INFP. The thing is he's so engaged in talking to me one time then one time avoids me then somehow feels sorry and make up for the behavior, it's confusing. I catch him staring at me like more than 10x but I completely act like I didn't notice it. He has the cutest "hide and seek" style of doing this with me, it's too cute but I end up just getting tired of the confusion. So I unfriended him. By the way, before I unfriended him, we both would deactivate our accounts on periods of time, just alternating it. When I ignore him, something happens to his account, he'd either change the profile photo or whatever there. I feel like he mirrors me too without being too obvious. Like when I change my dp, he'd, later on, change his too, almost matching mine, it's like idk!!! Now that I have completely unfriended him, both of the deactivating was gone, the dp changes are gone, the lengthy posts that seem to be each other's backlash are gone, everything was gone. His dp hasn't been changed for a long time now, and he hasn't deactivated his account for a long time now. Also I noticed that when we are around each other, I noticed we both fidgeted. He would leave the office when he notices me humming to a tune (we both sing, and are both band people me in the past, he until present), but I also noticed his body would point towards me whenever there's a chance for me to sing and I notice him observing me. Also, he sat at the very very front of the stage during a performance I had and was the first one to congratulate me fresh from the stage, squeezed my hand with excitement and then he's gone. Idk. it's confusing. Is he INFP?
strawberry first, he totally sounds like an INF* (may be P or J).
Second... WHYYY!!!??? 😟 if the two of you knew the feelings from each other, why didn't you take the first step?😔
I'm also an INFP, a hopeless romantic, and when I hear this kind of stories, my heard just hurt 😪 haha
I once swallowed my rational thoughts and went toward the guy that I liked, at least to be friends (we kind of dated but we weren't made for each other) and even tho it didn't work, I don't regret it because it made me feel a little more confident about my self and thought me that if you just take the chance amazing things can happen 🤗
I relate so much to the ignoring and acting "cold around my crush. I had a real crush from a year ago, where I gave a pen to his friend for the exam we were having. My crush then came up to give it to me, and I put on the most bitchy annoyed (for some stupid reason...?) Face, and I didn't even make eye conatct with him as I took the pen, but inside I was like "OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG".
Yeah, that was our last interaction cause he probably thought I hated him, heh.
And oh the denial part... it is to the point where I wouldn't even look into their faces, so I would not show any emotion or conform to myself that I like them. You know the weirdest part? I do not even know what the crush from my pen incident looked like, I just remember him as a blurry guy with glasses lol.
Hana yesss I do the sammmmeee thing it’s awful I probably seem so confusing to my crush. I recently avoided my crush and gave whatever glares like 😐 but then I commented on their birthday post with a positive message and the double hearts 💕 so my crush is probably so confused or thinks I’m passive aggressive 😭😭😭
ME
Yup, I've also treated crushes this way.
This is so me lol
Please i had only one crush on this one guy all my life and I still can't remember his face
"I never really spoke to them though." ME.
Also, about how you said you are more comfortable and easy around guys that you arn't attracted to, I have that same issue... its to the point where i tend to attract EXCLUSIVELY guys that im not into. and unfortunately, they tend to be the really clingy ones :(
i wonder if avpd is something that is more likely in infp's, because i also feel like i have avpd. ikd.
Courtney M I also tend to attract guys I’m not romantically attracted to and they tend to be clingy ones. I thought that was more to do with me being AvPD and having a fearful-avoidant attachment style but 🤷🏻♀️. From what I’ve seen, INFPs and INFJs are most likely to have AvPD.
@@MeAnINFP That mix just seems like they could probably all be contributing factors. I'll have to look more into attachment styles.
Have you figured out how to get the clingers to leave you alone? I've ended up hiding from them (I'm literally doing that right now lol. its hard to do when you go to a small university.)
Also, ironically when i watched your video, i didn't have a crush...i have one now and its EXHAUSTING
Attachment styles are really fascinating and explain a lot of how we interact in relationships. I did a video on it if you wanted to check it out. ruclips.net/video/xb12wfJsbQM/видео.html
Usually what happens with clingers is I will start to avoid them, or hide like you said, I'm good at that. xD And they give up eventually. I can sense pretty quickly if they're going to be the clingy/anxious type, and most of them have gotten mad about my bad habit of not messaging back in a timely manner. I haven't had to deal with it on campus really, but that would be more difficult since you can't really escape the same area he's in.
Yes, crushes are not fun :/
Everything you said was spot on I feel like I have avpd as well I try to be more open about my feelings but I have literally jumped a flight of stairs just to avoid my crush. I hate knowing that I have a problem and wanting to fix it yet not doing so.
@@MeAnINFP what's Avpd?
I was JUST like that. And then I realized that if I was nice to eeeeverybody I could also be nice with the one I liked and no one would notice... works pretty well hahaha
The secret to life? Have I found it???👀👀👀👀
@@lightinthedusk Good for you!!! I am so glad to hear that! :) the world deserves happy people :)
I'm feeling exposed right now lol This really worked with me.
I’ve had people I talked to say I look “depressed” whenever they see me in school, it’s honestly kinda hurts but I reply with “ahahhah whaaaaat” 🤷🏼♀️ I’m veryyyyy infp yes
My old crush said I looked depressed, and being the pathetic asshole I am, I told him it was probably the depression.
@@finnyboy6193 haha what was his reaction ?
fornax he was bewildered and looked low key scared.
I even have candid videos of me looking all "depressed" in the middle of a chaotic scene, hahaha
I don't know why, but this happened to me too, everyone used to tell me that I looked very sad and at that time it made me feel really bad because it was not what I wanted them to think of me or what I was feeling (at that time I was not depressed or anything like that), some time later I started having some emotional problems, but the year my classmates started to assume that about me I really didn't feel that way (I'm sorry if you don't understand very well what I meant, this is not my native language)
I think generally all INFP's say 'like' every 5 seconds.
I know I do it all the time and all my INFP friends do too
Even just realised RM from BTS who's a INFP too does it always in interviews 😂
I’ve learned to try and only type one like. I don’t talk to enough people to throw likes around.
omg, he's INFP😍😍😍😂
He's ENFP
reading this made me realize that i do it too 😆
They have exposed their results. Since they also know about the Carl Jung's theory as well
But their results for the MBTI are :
Suga ,Jungkook = INFP
Jin = INTP
Jhope = ESFJ
Jimin = ENFJ
V, RM = ENFP
I'm an INFP so no wonder I thought of Suga & Jungkook as sorta "I already knew that" or get their sense of humour people usually brush off. Suga seems like the mature side of me, we both take things litterally although his 6 year old side comes out sometimes & Jungkook seems to be excersised his Se a lot which I also had. A lot of INFP are clumsy or don't know how to do physical things correctly unless they take experiences from the past & use them to their advantage & that's why Jungkook is good at everything because his childhood was active, but his Si is there which is why both yoongi & jk are "lazy" & Fi (makes them feel moody) so it's all about if they feel like doing things or not & doing excersises makes them balance both because that can actually cause health / mental problems (had that happen) INFP are the types to actually "rot" in the corner if no one helps them get out. Think about this. Japan is an INFP country & have you heard of hikikomori? Yes that's what happens. INFPs like suga tho, they are literally grandpa's because INFP is all about philosophy & wisdom & even spirituality. So think of them as Buddha.
& Sorry I looked into it & that's true that RM is an ENFP. If you want to know about MBTI look at CS Joseph's channel. He explains about the Carl Jung's theory in MBTI & that's why I learned that types can use other parts of their sides to make it look like another type. (He criticizes tho usually talking avout the immature version of the types so beware to either get mad/sad/think that you're shit)
This is just how I am…avoiding my crushes while I want to get near to them and behaving super cold…because I'm afraid of exposing my true self to others
The feelings about the people I care about are too strong.. And maybe the other person does t want that kind of power. Idk
It does wonders when you AREN’T cold. I’ve learned that by being cold, I’ve already answered the big question for them (whether they like me). I think when I am myself, I am sort of giving life to the fantasy relationship I made of us. Because in the fantasy world, I would not act cold and reserved in front of them. It would be the very opposite.
I also have this problem. As I was thinking about it, I came to the conclusion that without a clear understanding of where I stand with my crush, it's either all or nothing. Either we are a thing, and I can be very loving, or I don't really want to interact with them and spend time that will just be wasted in the long run.
When I like someone and I see them, I ignore them but also really want to talk to them then end up regretting not doing anything at that moment. When talking to them face to face, I get insecure and don’t know what to say and when they’re gone, I think about the things I could’ve said.
My way of dealing with crushes is
1 - Imagine my whole life with them
2 - Tell my closest friends
3 - Never EVER tell them (unless they like me back and tell me they do)
This is kind of sad to be honest. As heavy Fi users, an INFP should be head-over heels ecstatic around a crush. I think it is being so worried that their feelings will get dashed against the rocks that holds them back and keeps them guarded. Other types jump into love only because they have less to lose.
You make a fantastic point
This is my tactic: I'm gona daydream so much about the two of us together that somehow you will fall in love on your own 😎
When I was in High School I had this huge crush on this one guy, and I remember this one day he caught me looking at him and I felt so upset that he caught me that I pointed in his direction to my friend who was with me ( we were farther away) so that it looked like we were talking about him and started laughing at nothing so that it looked like we were making fun of him. He turned beat red and walked away thinking that we were laughing that him for some reason. I feel awful about it to this day. Poor kid lol
Thanks for telling your story here (which I probably could never do). I'm an INFP male, I rarely comment on youtube but every one of your thoughts is 120% accurate... it's like you've literally read my mind. How did you improve ?
fornax Improve on not avoiding my crushes...? I’ve only made very slight progress. I’d say improving your self-esteem helps. And if anxious, think that most likely the worst that would happen is that they just don’t like you back. Which isn’t too bad because that means you weren’t meant to be with them anyway.
this is so accurate. every single word you say makes me feel like somebody really understands me.
I'm glad!
YES!
I'm really thankful I found this video,like this is really me,I thought I was abnormal,LOL
Like I thought i was an extrovert but I was introverted person the whole time,this video really helps to understand myself better.
I'm really thankful I found this video,like this is really me,I thought I was abnormal,LOL
Like I thought i was an extrovert but I was introverted person the whole time,this video really helps to understand myself better.
I'm an enfp and I really like this infp girl. She told me about 6 months ago that she had a crush on me when we first. I had absolutely no idea. I want to tell her I like her but I don't know how she feels at all! infps make it SO hard to gauge how they feel about you romantically. But as friends, they are so supportive, loyal, and so caring. I've never met another personality type that's as sweet and soft
As a 37-year-old infp I still can't tell my crushes that I like them, or show any hint until I have a feeling they like me to. Most of the time most my crushes never know. I am very reserved.
This is extremely relatable!! Whenever i started to realize that i like a guy.. i would start denying my feelings, i write down stuff on why i shouldn't like him.. sometimes i exaggerate. I dont really knew this person too much.
In college, i prefer to observe him from afar. If i happen to talk to him, i am stiff and i usually afterwards, i regret on how i didn't manage to show my friendly side to him. This is quite painful... I drove away most of the people that i am interested in, makes me feel lonely and i am still single 😂 though, i do continue to deny and write more stuff on why he isn't the one for me until i happen to move on.
Izzati Hanani Your comment is extremely relatable to me too! 😅
Oh shit glad im not alone dhjdaetvcntdssr
Hahaha same grrrll
I was in such a big denial, that when my crush (my friend of 3 years) started to send me signals that "yes, there might be something going on" I was swearing like a sailor for 2 hours straight with "this can't be happening to me" written on my face.
It all worked out eventually, but my friends have had soooo much fun 😂
i’m the worst abt crushes. i remember one time i had a crush on this one guy for like months and every day in class we would make eye contact so it felt like we were both obviously attracted to each other. anyway one day he came up and sat next to me to work together and i straight up ignored him THE WHOLE CALSS PERIOD. he usually sat on the opposite side of the room and here we are sitting next to each other in silence. after this i though that he hated me so i would purposely ignore him even more🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️ my big thing is eye contact. bc i really feel like i can connect w people w out actually having to connect w them idk. i basically make an effort to show people i like them through eye contact and it works, but then as soon as that person actually makes a move i tend to ignore them. eek idk why i do this pls help me LOL
Yes for some reason ignoring tends to be our gut reaction sometimes haha. Eye contact is good though! You got it started, now you just have to work yourself up to speaking to them. I’d recommend kinda putting yourself near them for a few days to warm up, and think about a topic you could talk to them about or ask them a question. Then if you see a good opportunity, you’ll already know what to say. Maybe you making the first move instead of them will work for you, worth a try! If you don’t want to do that, then maybe just try to smile at them if they make a move, even if you can’t talk to them.
Same ! I had a terrible a crush on a guy for two years and never told him, i avoided him so hard that once i was over him and we started to talk, he asked me :"Do you actually hate me?" And boom then I realized that my "tactic" was a big failure lol
it’s crazy how similar we are but at 18:06 tho 😭 wherever i had crushes on someone i’d secretly be hoping he has a girlfriend so i could ship them... and if he has none i’d ship him with whomever 😔 i think i’m going to die alone
I feel like for me I need them to be dating someone to answer my question of whether they like me. There is no harsher truth that them dating someone else. I think with INFPs, it’s always a race with the fantasy and the reality. Reality usually wins.
Relate so much as INFP! I'm cold-hearted, avoidant, somehow anti social, and even people told me I'm like L, a character in Deathnote but on the shy part i'm like little girl who has a crush on celebrity she just met haha
Now I'm curious if you ever been in relationship or not, because I wanna know what it's like to be an INFP in a relationship? Do you suddenly open your real self or gradually or you find it difficult? I'm curious..I had crushes but never in relationship 😆
And I'll add some info:
INFP aware of themself, they aware they have both dark and light side and I think that's one of the complicated things we've to deal everyday.
INFP tend to like solitude, and space. As for mine, I even try to embrace this and prepare if I later have to live alone hahaha we sometimes think, that's the better way. It has relation with our idealism and daydream.
We easily forget, because of many thoughts we have in our head, and this may lead to unclear life goals.
Relatable
This. Plus the two times I admitted to myself that I did like them and I got a gut feeling they might like me back, I started to make up all these excuses why it shouldn't happen. For example, I convinced myself that an old friend of mine liked him and she actually knew him (they were friends), so she had way more rights to like him than I did. I couldn't intervene with that! So back to the ignoring and denying I went...
Greetings, I’m a fellow INFP! ❤️ For those in the comments saying they will forever be alone, don’t lose hope! I’ve had the same experiences being so closed off and avoidant to my “crushes” in the past. I self sabotage so much, since I’m always in my head thinking they don’t really like me or have ulterior motives. I also follow my intuition a lot and many guys appear to have bad intentions. 😭
I think the best thing for INFP’s is to find their twinflame or soul mates (there’s a big difference)... 🌌
A twin flame is basically someone who is somewhat your other half, they just get you, and you connect immensely on many different levels/chakras in the body. They just feel like home and you feel at peace/whole with them. Soulmates on the other hand are people apart of your soul family. While soul mates are still a strong connection it’s not as powerful as the twinflame. I’ve found my twin flame and it was life changing, he meets all my standards and exceeds it. We feel pulled to each other energetically all the time. I’ve gotten much closer to my spirit and God ✝️ through this experience with my twinflame (TF).
Unfortunately we’re not together yet, but we’re in the same community and we feel each other all the time and see each other here and there. We in-distinctively KNOW we will be together one day or at-least give the connection a shot. It’s really challenging me and I love and hate it at the same time. But I know divine timing will prevail!!
May God be with you all!!! Hope this helps someone ❤️ love and hugs 🫂 🤗💕
"I knew that even if they liked me back I wouldn't want to end up marrying them or even dating them" 20:22 so true hahaha I used to be utterly obsessed with my crushes but then I'd tell my friends " yeah but I don't REALLY like them"
So relatable. I hate that I ignore my crushes I just can't lol
It's so freaking funny to watch an INFP talking because it's like you're looking into a mirror 😂 Salutes to all my mirrors! 🌞
I never felt so represented OMG!
What a great vid.. after seeing this video I'm sure that i'm an infp.. I trully loved your vid and your explanation which was on point.
Q: Am i the only infp who actually loses his interest in crush when he found that the " crush" is not as perfect as he thought? Do you think that in someway you -as an infp- are a perfectionist?
Hahaha.. i actully wrote that question before ( 14:20) hearing you talking about :) .
Wejdan Asiri Thank you for your comments! I love hearing them. Yes, I’ve done the same thing. I call it disillusionment because I was idealizing them and then realizing they weren’t that idealized person. It was sometimes almost a mourning process, but other times yes, just losing interest because something that we discover clashes with our values or our perfectionism.
It’s like we stay away and then in that time we are looking/running multiple scenarios for something to dislike so we don’t have to open up to someone new. The idea of sharing feeling is too much. Words can’t be used well to do that for me.
God I can relate to too much rn what the hell 🥵🥵🥵
Nah. We just have high standards.
me when i don't have a crush on someone: oooh, i love you! You are great
me when i do have a crush on them: ... hello. Nah, i don't like you at all *never look them in the eye. Pretends i don't see them*
LMAO
😂😭🤣 This is so me! Why?! I hate crushes. How do you kill a crush? It feels like the more I try to deny it, the worse it gets. It’s painful, and not something I want, especially right now.
Any other INFPs have a very hard time getting over crushes? Like EXTREMELY hard time? I still have a crush on a guy I went to high school with but literally have not seen him in like 2 years
Steph Clark I think INFPs have the ability to hold onto emotions and remember or idealize our feelings, so old crushes can be hard to get over sometimes.
Over 10 years here. I keep the feelings at a distance, because I know it's stupid and delusional. I've done everything I can to move on, but I've never gone more than a few days without thinking of them. Most of the time it's every day. I wish I had some advice to give. Just don't waste your life on it, they are often very different in reality than the idea of them we have in our heads. Thinking objectively about them and their actions during the time I did know them, helps remind me that they probably would have been a bad partner in reality.
@@jkff2472 I think that’s the worst part about it! You know it’s delusional and you know that they’re probably nothing like you imagine them to be like, but you just keep replaying sweet memories and flirty moments in your head and then it leads to the “what if I bump into them again?” Or “what if we did end up getting together?” It’s the what if’s that keep me holding on to hope, but it’s very likely this person rarely if ever thinks about me. I’m very good and breaking my own heart I suppose
Also - I think part of this is that I haven't found a genuine and meaningful relationship in the years that have past, so I think back on this person that seemed like a good match, but was never tested. But when I think critically about it, they showed signs of behaviour that would have been really hurtful in a close relationship. INFPs really need someone that is incredibly genuine and purposeful, to form a real connection with and shake us out of our daydreaming. Many of us really don't care for anything less than that and will sit on the sidelines for a very long time hoping that someone like this will show up. Then we will need to find the courage to make eye contact with them 😂
@@jkff2472 you’re absolutely right, if I feel even the slightest bit of disingenuous from someone, I drop them right then and there. It takes a lot for me to really be attracted to someone, so when it does happen I tend to latch onto that attraction and just increasingly become more and more attracted to that person. But you’re so right about the eye contact 😂😂😂 it’s like when I’m really attracted to someone I ignore them completely lmao, idk why I’m like this
I had a crush on a guy during 2 years and one day he asked me to be his girlfriend and i RUINED everything caus he wasnt what i imagined he would be i was totally idealizing him
I‘m INFJ and I relate SO much.
"...resist against it and go all out idealistic day dream"...I relate to this 100% of the time
This is what an ISTJ does, but we can explain it in two minutes.
Jealous as an INFP
yeah ISTJ and INFP are quite similar, considering they use same functions and also both are internal focus. so yeah similarities are quite huge.
As an Infj with Istp brother, we also have the same behavior as well.
Interesting. My wife and I are this combination and we’re so different.
My INFP spouse HATED me on our first few encounters. I literally just laughed and smirked at them. I would poke them...just a little bit...every time. They begrudgingly accepted my help, and appreciated our deep talks. After maybe a year of this banter and relaxed frenemy status...I asked them out. They got super quiet for a few seconds before blushing and nodding. Total tsundere. We thought our romance was really weird and made absolutely no sense at all until we did the MBTI thing. ENTP x INFP...it just works.
That’s so cute 😆
Oh man I have had so many ‘long term crushes’ they would go on for years and they would never even know.
Think about how many crushes you had that may have also been INFP's that had a crush on you as well and acted the same way towards you and you didn't move forward because you thought they didn't like you : )
HabitualEcstasy, you're making me regret my life decisions 😭
That, hit hard
You.... you make me feel good in life :’)
YES
OMG YOU ARE JUST LIKE ME! I’m in shock at how relatable this is! Thank you for existing and expressing how it is for INFPs because now I know I’m not alone.
Supernova Sunflower32 I feel like my videos are awkward but thank you for your nice comment!
@
Me An INFP You seem like a very well adjusted INFP. Good for you. don't change. Enjoy your inner beauty and your strangeness. I love it. Other INFP's can see you and hear you. Have a great life and embrace your uniqueness
Can this be a TV series? Netflix needs some new material.
Still better than most Netflix shows
i literally make my own tv series in my head with this exact scenario..it's my habit before going to sleep and cannot fall asleep before creating a scene or a dialogue of a kind..my social life is non-existant in reality but really interesting in my mind 😂
That was so nice. Let me tell you, INFP guys are pretty much the same.
As an INFP Male, I can relate to a lot of this. I've definitely had issues with crushes in the past, and expressing that. But I'm also severely depressed, self-loathing, and apathetic. What a wonderful combo, yay, fun. I too get jealous of guys who are with girls I like, my brain goes: "Lucky bastard." One of the new things I've been dealing with over the past few weeks is that I'm fervently in love with this girl that I know I have no chance with, and while I know she's not perfect, in my mind I've put her on a pedestal because she's everything I've been looking for for the past 20 years. And I don't think I'm in love with the IDEA of her, I'm pretty confident it's actually HER I'm in love with. And this feeling absolutely sucks. I hate it. It hurts SO MUCH inside. I think we'd be really good for each other, but I know that it'll never happen. I'm nobody special or important, why should she care? She deserves someone better than me anyway. And I do ideate "...things that were, things that are, and some things that have not yet come to pass." To the point of silly fake conversations with her, and adventures and experiences we could share. (Nothing sexual, which might seem strange. I am willing to wait until marriage if someone has that belief, and she's definitely worth waiting for.) But it pains me deeply. I know intellectually that I'll never spend the rest of my life with her, and I know intellectually that I'll survive. But emotionally, it's devastating. Nigh unrecoverable. And it pains me greatly. And this isn't a crush, I've had crushes, I know what crushes feel like... I've never felt like this about anyone before. I would tackle a grizzly bear to protect her. Part of me is thrilled by it, part of me hates it, part of me thinks I'm stupid for feeling this way. /sigh
I feel invisible also. I don't crave attention, I just want to be loved and accepted. Intellectually, I know I'm worth loving, I know I can bring value to a relationship, but emotionally I also feel that I don't deserve love or happiness, which doesn't help either. /sigh
I appreciate you putting these things into words so that other INFPs can relate and know they aren't alone in their awkwardness. Thank you.
Most relatable thing I’ve ever read. Thank you for expressing this.
It's exhausting because we idealize them 24/7 in our heads
Had one of you guys crush on me earlier this year. I'm an INFJ. Very confusing period of my life indeed
As an INFP who once had a crush on an INFJ: It's confusing, indeed.
This is interesting... I tend to not hide it like this. I try to be more friendly and sociable to get them to want to be around me despite being a super awkward and nervous human. Which tends to lead to feeling more awkward and eventually they probably figure it out. I’ve been told I’m very readable in that way, because I don’t keep a large circle of friends so it is apparent if I am around them a lot. But yeah I’m definitely the more awkward and verrryyyyy idealistic type and I get the jealous thing although I’m a type 9 enneagram
When I was in middle school, after a year of having a crush the guy finally asked me out. Two months later he broke up with me and didn’t tell me why, but I now know that it was because i emotion dumped on him, which I heard is also common for young infps 😓 it makes sense, because it’s a big difference from not knowing anything about me to knowing too much about me
This came at an eerily perfect time... it's almost like you knew I have a crush on an INFP and keep overanalyzing ever interaction. o__o
Hey Alanna! Oh, o_o good luck with your INFP
Me An INFP Hahah, thank you very much. 😭 He found out last week and apparently its a mutual feeling so we've been hanging out. Still feels unreal.
This is so probably very off topic, so apols but is very related to crushes, and also a very INFP-centric issue:
The worst part is dealing with crushes, love and relationships is breaking up.... post-breakup is by far that is the worst part!!! A part of me still mourns for my things ended with my 1st love, and this is more than 10 years ago. Another part of me mourns for everyone I loved and lost since my 1st love. And yet another part of me has to process "anticipatory grief" for those special love(s) I have yet to meet that I will lose in the future. Every day I have a lot of existential angst and sadness to negotiate, yet at the same time, I feel a oneness with all life and the universe, and the world is so beautiful, even if it is ugly and pretty F***ed up. The duality and paradoxes of life and love (or limerance, if you talk about the topic of this video) are so ironic. The term bittersweet was probably invented by an INFP.
I agree breaking up iz the worst I swear first 6 monthz i think i may have cried everynight my stomach so twisted didn't even care 2 eat, id often wonder if he felt the same pain i did and i felt all alone i get tearz in my eyez just typing this after about a year and a half i kind dealt with it abit better started facebook stalking abit and now after about 2 and half yearz im pretty much over it but the lonelinezz iz still there.
I'm an INTJ myself, and I abolutely LOVE INFP/INFJ girls :D
You're an esfp, relax
I shall now quietly seethe at your remark.
This helped me a little. I am an INTP girl liking an INFP guy and trying to figure out if he could like me :D
ALienZ0308 I’m glad it helped a little :)
The odds look good, as you are both compatible personalities. fingers crossed for you!
Same!
[Tldr] I can totally relate to you even on spiritual level lol if that even makes sense. Might as well add all the thoughts, worries and double takes whether I should confess or not. "What if she do not reciprocate my feelings?" "What if she gets bored with our conversations?" "What if she gets annoyed whenever I talk/message her?" All these fears are cluttered inside my mind. I hate having crush because it always ends up in failure which constantly drags my self esteem to rock bottom. I daydream a lot about what i could do to make her notice me but every single time I cross them out and never do it. We INFPs are so sensitive that it makes me frustrated at how it drains so much energy from me. I hate having crush but the fantasies of being together with the person you like is such a sweet thought but a bitter reality because there are 100% chance that it will not work. Nothing ever worked for me. I specifically searched for a vid like yours because I am madly in love to this girl i met in an event. We talked a lot during that day and I immediately realized how amazing it will be if we end up for each other. So I go to the events she arranges and joined her team to help her. But it sort of backfired and she almost don't talk to me anymore unless it's about our the events we are planning. It really sucks and I'm afraid that I'm overthinking again. I hope my thoughts are wrong this time and I am still hoping that she'll like me back. By the way, i also noticed that we tend to be possessive/obsessed to the person we like. I can't take it when she's talking with other people. But I can't really show to her that I am upset because I have no right to be upset. Just really thankful to at. least know that there are people who can actually resonate with me.
Well I feel validated! litterly everything you said😂👍I almost feel I act like an asshole around my crush but in reality I don’t try to ever be and it just comes out and I don’t know why🤷♂️😄also strait up day dream and avoid for days. never talk to them hoping to hang out one day idk🤷♂️
you'll probably never see this but just in case you're an intuitive type and we tend to have flat faces we don't show our expressions and we're all about the what ifs or seeing the future and we're kind of unusual you're about the what ifs I'm about seeing the future I'm an infj your and infp. Intuitive types the world doesn't really like but I encourage you to be yourself because the world needs us a lot right now we're in a very dark place so please don't be afraid to shine
You know what really freaking sucks? When your crush that you've been waiting for from a distance dates someone else. Then I'd wait it all out as I kick myself for not making a move.
Happened to me many times.
you spoke out for us. Exactly my reaction when I have a crush. 😂
Omggg For the first time in my life I feel really understood😱 I am INFP and Ennagram number 4 too and everything you just told in this video... it is like you were talking about me. Thank you for this, I will no longer feel like the weirdest person in the world doing all this stuff when I know, someome have it and do it in same way like i do🥰
Paní prstenů I’m glad you relate to the weird way I act around crushes! It’s nice to know you act the same!
I have a crush who I think would be a really great friend. Just friend, I'm happy with that. Most of our interest are the same...
I couldn't talk to him....
I just daydreams about us talking and being friends..
I feel uncomfortable with myself thinking that I am thinking that.
Then I'll convince myself that he isn't my type until I believe it myself 😂...😃..😢
your thoughts in this video are so poignantly accurate and so in line with my life. every single bit; well except for the fact that I am a guy, unlike you.
As an INFP male, I have had 4 big crushes (including my current crush). I often ignore(d) them and only stare(d) at them when they were (are) not looking. However, although my relationships with my crushes have slightly improved with time, I never told any of my first three crushes until I knew I was far away from them, and therefore could avoid any (live) embarrassment if I were going to be rejected (I always communicated that over phone or facebook or other communication media that did not require being close to them). In a sense, it was a way of telling them "I had a crush on you but never had the courage to tell you, but I just wanted to let you know, so lmk if you're interested :-)". and every time, I'd be like 'whew, thank God I won't have to deal with that again'.
I had my first crush in middle school. She was my deskmate and is probably the only person who knew that I had a crush on her before I told her. I had my second crush when I was in high school, and my third during my gap year before college. I have a new crush each time I change my environment. Then, I met my fourth crush as a freshman in college, and because I am attending a big college, I have never talked to her. I rarely ever see her, but I fell for her the first time I saw her. She is just magnificent, but I know that I probably won't ever tell her that I had (have) feelings for her. I guess I have come to accept this reality as an INFP :-(. I'll be a college sophomore soon, and the only thought of talking to her at some point would freak me out, yet I madly love her (playing out silly idealistic dreams in my head. I used to think that I was romantic for having such thoughts, but now I guess that's the only way I can imagine myself being with her: in my own mind).
Thanks for sharing your story
I used to be very idealistic about my crushes. Now though I don't have crushes as often and am less naive/more realistic. I made a choice not to pursue the crush I had in college because it was clear he wasn't interested. I made a small move of interest: a friend request on social media, etc. and he didn't respond. And so he just graduated and I'll never see him again, and never really spoke to him. I know we could've been good friends, but I'm at peace with my decision. I accepted that I was attracted but that it was pointless to have a crush on him ( and maaybe a little salty about him not seeing how great I am). I believe I have become very SLIGHTLY more able to initiate when it comes to crushes.
I don't like feeling vulnerable for my feelings towards someone I like, it feels also like I'm loosing control over myself. Due to this, with the last two guys I liked I confessed my feelings to them in order to have a concrete knowledge of how they saw me. Although, it doesn't low the wave of intense feelings of sadness it allows me to be over it in less time in contrast to if I just keep it to myself. Something important is that I only have confessed my feelings when I knew the other person would care enough and be kind to me even when rejecting me.
As an infp-a, I used to build idealist scenarios in my head and struggled to express my feelings. As I've worked on myself, I've come to accept my feelings now and value communication and transparency.
I would take some time to process my own feelings and would let the person know after now. I am accepting and patient even if they don't feel the same. I now feel at ease that I can express my emotions and much happier that I can do that. I feel very calm about it. We're very much in tune with our emotions, it's a whole ass journey. Lol Therapy is key.
I am attracted to emotionally expressive, authentic, and non-judgmental people. I guess that's where opposites attract. I am emotionally observant when I get to know people and I love listening and absorb the details, emotions and experience like a sponge.
You have a great presence on camera ! Have you ever acted? It’s very nice to share such private emotions with us, it’s so touching thank you !
Histoires de fou Caroline Henry I have social anxiety which includes fear of public speaking/performance anxiety so no, I haven’t acted. It seems like it would be cool though. Thank you for the complement!
This is exactly what I'm facing as an INFJ having a crush on a INFP. Problem is wrong timing.
Neptuneman07 I once had a crush on an INFJ. :) It was unrequited though. Maybe yours will work out in the future
Neptuneman07 I'm an infp and I think my bf is infj. I'd like to think we're good together as infp and infj! Been together forever!
How do we know the time is right, they wont open first, so just go for it.
This video is hilariously (if a little poignantly) accurate...but mostly hilarious 😂 I 100 percent relate as a fellow female INFP ...great video 🤣
I keep seeing this stereotype of INFPs being "hopeless romantics", who fantasize with huge weddings and that always end up confessing their love absolutelly out of nowhere in totally awkward situations, that almost made me feel i was never an INFP, as i've always been just the way you're talking in the video. I'm super platonic and tend to avoid showing my feelings as much as I can and even avoid my crushes... I've never been someone who fantasizes in daydreams about getting married an having kids and the names of the kids and stuff like that, as i keep seeing in those stereotypes videos (usually done by people who are not INFPs)
but yes, i do daydream idealizing the person, as if they're perfect and put them on a pedestal. But never as in "planning" the rest of my life with them... although... yeah, this might have happened a few times, but it's not my usual. I mostly tend to avoid the feeling and the person the most i can
INFP guy here. I had a very different experience, I would nearly ALWAYS make a fool out of myself (I was shy but impulsive), it was always very obvious who I liked because I have a habit of staring/getting flustered or making dumb jokes to get them to notice me. got very lost in idealism, in love with love, to the point where my friends would be like "you realize they have flaws right?" or I would hate them for being mean to me (which happened 5 times oh geez) but couldn't let go of my feelings even so. nearly every single crush I had grew up to be an engineer, I guess I have a type lmao, I think they're usually E/INTP or E/ISTP, one was an ISFJ. I managed to confess a few times but never dated them. been several years and I miss them, thank you introverted sensing...
after I left highschool I stopped having such intense crushes, although I did meet someone for the first time the other day and think she's so lovely. but I'm much less obvious now I think. I can have a proper conversation where I get to know her, remembering her favourite things, watching her light up when talking about it is very endearing. also as an artist, the colour of people's clothes have always attracted me, or anyone else who's artistic/creative. my strangest experience was liking an ENTJ who was always analysing me and taking me out my comfort zone.
My Dear, I just want to assure you that EVERYONE feels vulnerable when they are being true to themselves and this situation matters. That's called being human and it's a wonderful thing because that's where the real aspects of life live. Let yourself be vulnerable (to people who you trust). And no need to worry, you are an introverted Feeler so it's natural for us (I'm an INTJ) to be private with our feelings and not show them too often. Also, you are young and a little insecure, probably because somebody hurt you that you don't remember when you were young. It's okay to feel protective over your feelings. Just don't judge yourself for that. When you really learn to love yourself, you won't be as afraid to be yourself. You will naturally feel more comfortable around guys who are good for you/to you. It takes time to grow into that.
It took me until I was like thirty! Of course I'm a lesbian so got a much later start at dating because when I came out it was 1986 (I'm 50) and I felt like the ONLY one. So I always had to hide my girl crushes for fear of them freaking out. So my crushes were just in my head as well, like yours, or I'd have a crush on a close friend so it was painful because we would be emotionally close but it was always unrequited so there was never any romantic reciprocation (except once in college). I used to feel stiff around the crushes I had on acquaintances. I think that is just fear. When you are afraid, you get very alert and hyper-aware, which makes your body stiffen up and be careful for fear of being judged by them. But now it's not like that at all. Once you've told a few of your crushes how you feel and you realize it's not the end of the world, it gets a lot easier and you get more relaxed. Maybe next time, if your crush is someone with whom you have some compatibility, find a good time to get them alone and tell them how you feel. It will be fine. You just have to love yourself first and you'll ease into it. That is the key to attracting someone who loves you for you and who you love as well. Have fun and don't worry. ***HUGS***
Oh, btw, also, my ex-wife is an INFP and my current girlfriend of 7 years is an INFP. My ex-wife was pretty shy at first but she boldly introduced herself to me (we were in our early thirties). My current GF was very shy but also approached me. Once we got comfortable with each other, she would just get really talkative and silly and cute and adorable!
I also can get talkative and silly and adorable with someone who I'm really comfortable with, but it's very rare that I reach that closeness level with someone. Thank you for your encouraging advice! :)
I always love the insights that INTJ's like your self can come up with (My 1st serious relationship in my college years was with someone I am almost certain is INTJ, and I really loved and valued her intellect and insights and deep conversations). I don't know how I missed this, but yes, it is true, everyone feels vulnerable when they are being true to themselves. It's interesting that both INFP's in your life approached you, as apparently, this is something typically outside of an INFP's comfort zone (for both guys as well as gals). Most of my Ex's actually made the first move with me, which bucks the trend for the guy to approach the girl.
Your story is inspiring, and I feel has somehow helped me, so thanks for your input Aubrey.
I am also an infp lesbian... AND ITS SO HARD TO FIND THAT PERSON FOR ME! I have a crush and then I feel disappointed when they dont notice me or dont give me any sort of response. I feel so alone and it seems impossible for somebody that I like to like me back TAT It feels heartbreaking tbh and I am sick of it ;C
my gut instinct whenever I see my crush is that im not gonna let them be anywhere near me because hey they are my crush and i don't want them to see the big embarrassment i am. this sounds very self-deprecating but this is how it is whenever i see or think of my crush, i just have a flight reaction and run away from them literally and figuratively.
Omg i feel attacked! Hahaha. I have a crush on this one guy in my office. As an infp i genuinely will be nice and smile to everyone in the office. But to this particular one guy who i have a crush on, I ignore him and dont even smile. My coworkers always said to me that im weird. For thrm if they have a crush they will smile the brightest and say hello. For me. Ahahhaa even when he smile i just pretend like nothing happen but my heart beat sooooo fast everytime he smile. Hahahah
You'll never know how many times I wrote in this comment just to erase the whole thing a few seconds later. But let me tell you this... listening to your story gave me a whole flashback of my love life. XD Thank you.
wow, it is unbelievable how much I related to so many things you said in this video. I am also ALWAYS idealizing them, almost never telling my friends about them (if they know him), acting different around them (trying to be cool and special), putting in my whole energy to not show in any way I like them (unless I know they like me too), talking with them in my head (idk if you mention smth like this too) and most importantly - realizing that we are a bad match and could never be together anyway, even when spending days and days (sometimes years) just talking with them in my head and thinking about them, and listening to love songs... I am a truly hopeless romantic. and an asexual which just makes everything 10x sadder because I want to be with someone who's asexual too and I have never met an asexual guy in my life yet, but I have had many HARD crushes... (fun times) The only thing that is different from you is that I almost never deny it (maybe only at the beginning but I can't fool myself). Quite the opposite - I literally say in my head all the time how much I love them, even out loud sometimes accidentally. I really do love this person and I am going to keep just watching him, having fun with him, and accept the fact that I am the only one who knows about this and it is fine. It really is. I am just happy already to look into his eyes and see him smile, and knowing that he really likes me as a friend. And I love to dream... (INFP 9w1 sx/so)
As an INFP, it takes a lot of courage to state those feelings in this video. I admire your courage
I mean I don’t really crush on people but when i do i am such a mess. I know it’s not gonna work, I know that there’s no possible way for me to get close to that person in any way. But i just can’t stop dreaming for something unlikely to happen.
My brain goes like; You don’t even know him, he may be a bad person, he isn’t actually what you’re looking for, this wouldn’t work, i gotta learn to love me before i expect someone else to love me, he is beyond my level etc.
But my heart also goes like; ohh look he is going out should i also go?
oh he looks so fun wish i could go and talk to him
god he is behind me i don’t want him to notice me but i am just gonna talk louder and force myself to say something funny
Wow. That sounds exactly how I do it. It doesn't work out to well for me but I'm used to it by now lol. Its hard though.
I think we like fantasising about our crushes rather than the reality if being with them. In our fantasisies everything can be perfect, there is no conflict (you may argue but it always works out and you don't feel real emotional pain), you can pick up and drop the fantasy whenever you want to, you are never disappointed or vulnerable. And you can swap crush subject to someone else without hurting anyone
I feel this so much if I have a crush on someone I'll will make sure they don't know a damn thing 😂
I would not really make a move. Nothing happens, not even a chance. Like, he’s just a crush that I feel good when he’s around and nothing more than that.
You're cute like my sister. She's supposedly ISFJ. I'm INFP. She too had a Diary, i think. My dad wanted me to follow up my older sister because we're / was conservative, my younger brother ended up following my her. He's ENTJ. My older Sister is ENTP. Strangely. These last two had always been friends.
I thought I was the only one who acts like this until I see your video...EVERYTHING IS RELATABLE
thank you for making this video! Loved this talking session aha. As an infp i litterally relate to each point you presented wow! Our mind is so complex, having a crush as an infp is a sweet torture because even though we love we just don't accept it and don't see ourselves in relation...
I’m the full on idealistic daydream oneeee lol
How do you guys actually end up in relationships when you never act on crushes?^^
Lennard Biermann I’m not the one to ask 😅
@@MeAnINFP
you still helped me with your video. Now I know that my infp either hates me or loves me :C
@@ShadyDogg I'm glad I helped a little bit! And hopefully it's the former :)
@@ShadyDogg Sure, if you think I could help. :3 I can't guarantee it but I'll try
Finally decided to be authentic in every moment. If I like somebody I'm just going to be genuine.