Unmasking Strategies for Safety
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- Опубликовано: 14 окт 2024
- The full transcript is available on my website, at:
www.autismchry...
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Unmasking your autism can be scary, anxiety provoking, and sometimes dangerous. A lot of the time, it’s more scary than it could be because we don’t have any idea how to smooth the transition and deal with the issues that come up.
This workshop focuses on strategies around safety, how to tell when it's safe to unmask, and to what extent, how to tweak things to better protect yourself, and to have a better chance of being safe in the process, and how to deal with some of the inevitable pushback that will come.
This workshop is geared toward Autistics and is inclusive. The presenter is likewise AuDHD.
This is a recording of a workshop hosted by Heather Cook of Autism Chrysalis on 18 July, 2023.
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Thank you so much for your content. I " found" your channel today and find it incredibly helpful. I' m a 54 year-old woman and found out I'm expieriencing autistic burnout about a month ago. I' ve been diagnosed with depression several years ago but always felt there was more to it. I'll try to get officially diagnosed but I hardly ever felt so sure about anything.
Just starting my "autism-journey" I find it really hard to see what is masking and what is just me.
Now I' ll watch more of your videos...
Greetings from Germany 😊
So glad you found this early in your autism journey! Wishing you well on the journey of self discovery that you are embarking upon!
Viel Glück, viel Spaß, und viel Erfolg!
These presentations are invaluable!!! You give us such a gift rich in insights!
So glad you're finding them helpful!
Vielen, vielen Dank!😄
I went to see the neurologist today who diagnosed me with depression several years ago.
I wanted to tell him how I' m feeling at the moment and about me wondering if I might be autistic.
I had no chance to tell him what makes me assume this, he seemed to get angry and just brushed it off.
He said: "we're all a little bit autistic""there's no point in getting a diagnosis because the only treatment is psychotherapy anyways" and that he sees many people these days who think that they are autistic, it seems to be "fashionable" to him.
He wants me to take antidepressants and look for psychotherapy to cope with the fact that I'm no longer able to work because of my multiple health issues. I pointed out that I don't feel depressed and that medication and psychotherapy did not help much in the past but he did not seem interested.
Thank you again for all the work you put in creating your content. It makes me feel seen and not loose hope in being able to make changes in my life to feel better.
Bitte schön!
I'm sorry you got that response from the neurologist, but it's not about you. And I'm so glad to hear that the depression has lifted!
So now you get to explore what *you* would like to do as your next move forward. Ideas?
I'd like to stay at home(sick leave) for at least another couple of weeks and see if and how I can "recharge my battery", using the hours I'm not too tired to get back to practice personal hygiene and do things I enjoy like crafting, drawing or reading. And I have to make some doctors appointments which are long overdue. At the moment I find it hard to concentrate, forget things and am often on the verge of crying. I do my grocery-shopping but having one additional appointment a week like lymphatic drainage or pedicure exhausts me.
Now being sure I'm autistic I try to listen to my gutfeelings and act accordingly, searching online for tips e.g. to better my sensory issues by making small adjustments at home instead of just pushing through, caring about all the shoulds in my life and planning too far ahead.
The only problem is that a lady from my health-insurance-company will call me soon (she did in the past) to find out when I' ll be able to get back to work and force me eventually to apply for something called "Rehamaßnahme". Then I' ll have to stay for 3-6 weeks in a place like a hospital, getting various treatments.
I' ve been there several years before because of my depression an several times after surgery. Just thinking about it makes me anxious, I want to stay home with my old cat and see my partner when possible and not attend group-therapy-sessions hundreds of kilometers away.
Learning so much about autism and seeing people like you on the internet at least makes me curious about what's ahead, but I'm sure I' ll have to do some grieving, being that old at finding out about autism.
We'll see.😉
@@Paisley... You've already gotten through so much, you can get through what is to come as well. And this time you have the understanding to do things a little differently, which will lead to more improvements and more. You're on the right track!
This has been a fantastic video to watch. I've been going through it a little bit at a time and today I've finally reached Step 6, reinforcing success, and I just want to say I think it's my favorite step! It's also an a-ha! for me, because this is definitely a major thing I've been needing. I would say as a single adult who's been actually reasonably lucky and successful at fending for myself, it's that lack of reinforcing success that has kept me very very isolated, and very stuck in extremely old patterns. Certain strategies and behaviors haven't been working for me for a long time, and I'm aware enough to know and recognize they aren't working and I know I need to try something different... and then I do, and even if it goes ok, those old protective thought patterns come in and make it extremely unlikely that I'll do the new thing again, or iterate and improvise to find something that works better, for instance. This is true with career and jobs, my social life, like all the big stuff... Anyway, thank you so much for breaking this down so, so very well. I am feeling like it's giving me motivation to try again, different - small, and slow and reinforcing success. :)
So glad you found this helpful! We’ve had decades of reinforcing negative messages; intentionally reinforcing positive ones is incredibly helpful. Wishing you well!
the point that people had less time to process and therefor some react ignorant is so well explained
Glad that clicked for you!
Change back attack link would be nice in the video info/description.
Here's the link: marthabeck.com/2012/10/change-back-attacks/
i just thought of the fact that in some cases when I begin to cry I can´t stop. In the past I didn´t know a thing about autism. I think it could be a meltdown or something like that. I just think Im autistic. Many things make sense when I see it in the light of autism. my parents never knew why I reacted so extreme. Me either. I have no control over that.
Big (virtual, no-contact) hug. So many things make sense when you understand how you work and don't pathologize it!
Wishing you well on your journey!
@@autismchrysalis thanx. I told it few people and they agree, it could be possible. Im glad I got nice people in my life. Also my parents avoided making me cry. They are good parents.
@@anjachan Yay!
I don't like the way the change back attack was quick gloss over.
I do not believe it is an immediate validation that you are in the right.
I believe there are valid push backs and as stated with the zones perhaps it is a sign you misinterpreted the level of masking appropriate for the zone. Taking it as validation in an unsafe zone may result in a further danger.
Further than that as stated early in the workshop there are different levels of self. If you have pulled back the social self in addition to the mask inadvertently you may be in the wrong.
I would like to see a test or way to evaluate the appropriateness of the action in this section. Perhaps 2-3 questions to validate your action and invalidate the person preforming the change back attacks point. Or pehaps a negotiation tactic to help find a middle ground, or get the attacker to recognize their mistake, or you realize the social rule/contract you mistakenly broke.
I agree that this topic needs a lot more attention. I like your idea of coming up with an algorithm for when it is healthy pushback and when it is a change back attack. I'll think about how to differentiate this.
Edit: typo.