Real VS Fake Friendships | ZULA ChickChats | EP 64
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- Опубликовано: 9 июл 2024
- Click on the "CC" button at the bottom of the video for subtitles!
In this episode of ZULA ChickChats, we discuss having real and fake friendships.
Do you have ambivalent friendships? How do you handle your fake friendships?
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Cast:
Shanice Koh - / shanicekohyt
Lynette Lee - / lingnette
Chevonne Cheng - / chevonnecheng
Leah Shannon - / mizchiefmagik
Edited by:
Lynette Lee - / lingnette
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I couldn't stop sighing when Chevonne mentioned about her friend dealing mental illness (depression). Been through that situation.
It is not that I'm not trying to be understanding, it's the fact it has become a chore to listen to their demands constantly that I start to question the value of friendship.
"Is it even worth it to spend my energy on ___?"
"Why am I spending so much time and effort on this person more than on my own mental health?"
Such thoughts often appear in my mind.
Rationalise your friend’s actions. Is it just a depression problem? Or is it a personality problem? I stopped being friends with someone who has psychological problems recently, and I know it’s definitely not just the psychological problems that got in the way of our friendship. In either case, if you feel like you are over-compromising in the friendship, you should probably leave it.
Yes! I brought this up with my other friends, and they thought i should be supportive and stay with that friend, they thought i was a horrible person for thinking that way. But thing is, i was with that person the whole time, for a year. We were in fact quite close, and i did try listening to him, i tried to do what i could do. Nothing changed however, he just got worse and i just got even more frustrated with him, and his habits. It was very draining. I just moved away, and we drifted apart. I havent talked to him in a month, and i wonder how he is doing now.
I don't think I've ever had a real friend, just plenty of friends with benefits (non-sexual benefits), ambivalent friends who are hi-bye friends and fake friends who would judge me unnecessarily and seem like they can't stand to be around me. Sigh, I wish I can find just 1 true good friend and I'll keep them forever. Also, there's no such thing as unconditional love at least not all the time.
Fion, à bit late but things will get better as time goes!
My only 2 childhood friend when I came back from studying overseas started to abandon me, ignoring me and never comes for the meetups...
Went to poly, never really had real friends till the end of it
But tbh I'm grateful that I didn't have any real friends till I found the ones
Allowed me to appreciate those who accepts me as who I am
I'm sure life will treat you better in the future
Things will get better! I thought I had to settle for shyt friends but I met some rly good ones this year that would check up on u when you’re down, and be happy for your happiness!
I love how they always say Chevonne's full name 😂
One way to know a fake friend is that they give you backhanded compliments....
Omg yesss
Real friendships are more towards compatibility in terms of your level of acceptance for each other. To me, honesty is the main crux when I choose a friend. Fortunately I do have a handful ones that are truthful and caring. And yes, quality matters most.
My fake friend is a relative. Literally just messages to get free legal services. Used to start conversations with "How are you?" then I feel happy someone checked up on me but then he proceeds to ask for what he really wants. Worse part is he's making me do legal work but because he's a relative he expects it to be free. Didn't reply to him much after having been taken advantage of several times.
I think I've only had 1 fake friend in my life, and I've only recently cut off ties with her
She was the sort of person who would talk behind EVERYONE'S back, including her best friend(another girl)
She would talk shit about others to me, and while I'm empathizing with her and listening to her self victimizing rant, I found out that she would go behind my back, and tell these people I talked shit about them when in reality all I did was comforting her.
And right after complaining or talking shit about these people, just within a split second, she could fake being the friendliest and nicest person to them, even to the extent of running towards them to hug them or post a "LUV YOU GIRLS SO MUCH BEST FRENS 5EVA" Instagram post
I was young and naive to think me helping her so much in her life, such as introing her to a school when she was rejected by uni, literally get her a job in my company when initially she got rejected, would make me an exception.
But turns out she had been backstabbing me to our friends for years, manipulating them to dislike me because she was threatened by me, feeding them lies about what I said when those things were all said by her instead.
In my situation, I don’t know whether I am being the fake friend or she’s the one being the fake friend. I have to admit I always vent my anger on her ever since we became friends and I don’t know why I act like that. Tried to compromise a lot of times but always don’t end good. In one year, she started becoming close friends with another person through one experience whilst I have stuck with her throughout many times and helped her with her problems (never ever took our clique’s advice). I felt very hurt because she chose a friend that she has just met in 2 weeks over a friend that she has known since the start of school. In the end, she has became closer to the other friend than with me. Halfway through their friendship, they had problems and in classes, she started to sit with me rather than her friend, and I have also found another close friend, so tbh we were nothing more than good friends. Ever since this started, I felt like a back up plan, whenever she doesn’t have anyone else to help her or be with her, she comes to me and asks for help. A lot of things has happened between us and I think in the end this friendship has always been very toxic because of the both of us and I feel guilty yet at the same time, not guilty at all.
How are you now?
This is so true.
Do a vid on fake frens with guys perceptions!!
Just be good to everyone because you would never know who would be mean to you - Lynette 😍
I hate that they keep cutting is damn annoying
Would like to see from guys point of view because I have a guy Friend that says usually guys once they make a Friend they just stay with them no matter how fcked up they are and just support them and try to make them better versions of themselves.
I think guys don't get this real-fake friend problem as much.
Klinsen Soh just saying that what you said is an assumption. However assumptions don’t come without some truth in it, guys are usually more straightforward and if he likes/dislikes you they will just act that way without hiding it. So yeah fake friendships are less common amongst guys because once the guy realises it’s fake they just stay away or just tell them to f off
People are people. Guy or girl, we all face this problem more or less.
Do guys have fake friends too?
Just saying this video is to much cut
prolly 10 ?!? boi thats alr a lot
editing of this video is horrible, the constant cut is so distracting
My fake friend only contacted me when she want to borrow money. She nvr borrow from other people. So I posted her requests for $$ through WhatsApp on fb so everyone can see what kind of harasser she is. She want to borrow money to travel, pay insurance premium and buy branded bag.
That's because you are not close to her. if she decided not to pay u back, you can't do anything. She's taking advantage of your kindness. Don't be afraid to lose this kind of friends...