Sport Parenting#17: 3 Phrases Sports Parents Need to Avoid

Sporting Parents - i.e. the parents of kids who play sport - generally mean well.
They like to say things that they believe will help their child improve their sports performance or inspire the child to get better at training and competition.
However, there are three phrases commonly used by Sporting Parents that you need to AVOID at all costs.
1. The "Old Days" Phrase:
Whilst it's tempting to try and connect with your kids by sharing your own sporting experiences with them - they don't care about the "old-days".
They only care about what's happening now - and the experience they're having with you right now.
2. The "You Could Have Done Better" Phrase.
Kids do not deliberately perform badly. By telling them they could have done better, you're actually saying that "it's not good enough".
Telling a child "it's not good enough" is often mis-interpreted by them as hearing you say "YOU'RE not good enough".
And that is the last thing you want your child thinking.
3. The "You're Not Good Enough" Phrase
And this leads me to the worst of all commonly used Sporting Parent Phrases - actually saying the words "You're not good enough".
Of all the things a sporting parent can say to their child, this is the most appalling. It's like giving them poison!
Telling a child "You are not good enough" not only destroys much of their sense of self-belief but in the longer term damages their ability to develop confidence and even worse will put your future relationship with them in jeopardy.
So what are a few things you can actually say to kids about their sports training and competition?
How's this?
"I love watching you train and play football".
or
even better...
"I love you. Now let's go get an ice-cream".
The influence of parents - what they say - and what they do - can be the most powerful force for personal development in the child's life.
You can inspire them to be remarkable children and wonderful human beings.
Or you can lay the foundations for a lifetime of shattered confidence and a lack of self-belief.
WHAT YOU SAY - AND HOW YOU SAY IT MATTERS!
This is a practical exercise I do in my Sporting Parent education program.
Imagine you're walking down the street 20 years from now.
It's a bright sunny day and walking in the opposite direction - walking directly towards you is your son or daughter.
Ask yourself - "what would I like to see?"
When I do this "Future-Family" exercise in my Sporting Parents workshops and seminars, unanimously parents will respond, "I'd like to see a big smile on their face. I'd like them to be happy to see me. I'd like them to be happy with their lives. And I'd like them to be great moms and dads".
Almost never - does anyone say "I'd like to see my Future-Son or Future-Daughter rich, successful and standing there with an Olympic Gold Medal around their neck".
So what does that teach you?
Stop talking to them about the "old-days".
Avoid telling them "they could have done better"
And above all stop telling your kids they're doing it wrong!
Just love them unconditionally, value their efforts and their enthusiasm and accept them for who they are.
Check out my new book Leading Without Leading available now through Amazon as an e-book and print on demand
USA www.amazon.com/dp/1980980756/...
UK www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07CND96L...
AUSTRALIA / NZ www.amazon.com.au/dp/B07CND96...
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Wayne Goldsmith Coaching
wgcoaching.com
Waynes coaching, thinking and teaching have influenced some of the world’s leading athletes, coaches and teams . He is an inspirational speaker and presenter who is able to educate, entertain , challenge and engage audiences of all ages
With over 25 years experience working with some of the best coaches, athletes, teams and sporting organisations in the world, WG Coaching offers an unparalleled opportunity for you to become the coach you dream of becoming.
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