Reclaiming My Body After Rape: Living With PTSD
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- Опубликовано: 16 сен 2024
- Fashion plays an unexpected role in this courageous tale of healing your mind and reclaiming your body.
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My girlfriend was raped when she was young. She looked strong when I met her, but deep down she was afraid that I could be someone with vile intents. Needless to say, we have such a great relationship and we love each other, but despite enjoying life, every night, she relives that fateful night of her rape. I sleep lightly, so I can wake her up when she sees a nightmare and comfort her. The scary thing is, she had even more nightmares before we met. Still, it pains me that I can't erase the trauma, I can't help to love her and admire her even more, not only because she is all I ever wanted and she is such a gentle soul, but she tries to fight her demons and fix her life.
Respect to all rape victims. They struggle with such a trauma, that very few can understand.
This really resonated with me as I go through flashbacks and I honestly say that my husband deserves better than me because I am someone who is messed up and don't know if I will ever be fully put back together. My husband loves me so much and he really is a blessing. I only want the best for him because he is such a good man.
Hi, reading your comment I see you actually care, so I wanted to share some experience. Yes, being with a man triggers trauma. I've never realised this before I met someone who has knowledge and we faced the truth. What helps me is to openly admit that I hate men, I am afraid of men, every sex act feels like rape to me. It was a life-changer. You can try and discuss her true feelings about penetration and giving oral sex too. She might deny it, but the fact is, people often live in denial. Try to lessen or cut out penetrative sex and focus on platonic feelings, your love and care for her,and see how it goes. Yes, it's a long process, and if you are willing to help her, you might have to give your sacrifice. But the results are worth it. You will help her tremendously and gain love you've never had before.
Now, here is a good guy
thank you for being such a good person to her. every survivor deserves a partner like you
Also try to think about a rage outlet too because there's usually a huge amount of suppressed unlived rage beneath the trauma
The human body has memory. Rape is a permanent memory regardless of the therapy and healing.
Self care is crucial for moving forward.
PTSD is real. I have it. I talk with mine daily and tell myself...its ok today.❤
BS it goes away. If not you haven t done the work yet.
@@Ytdeletesallmycomments Do the science.
Let's agree to disagree.
Can you honesty tell me that traumatic rape and PTSD can be cured? You living proof? If so you must be a God then.
Peace out.
suzy klitgaard it can when you separated your soul from your body
@@Truth2power5848 I see.
that's displacement and detachment....a survival mechanism.
No more discussion. This topic is talked to death.
@@suzystone244 This topic may be as you put it "talked to death", which really it isn't. Problem is the masses either don't understand the impact rape has on the survivor of the assult. Or the message about consent isn't understood generally by men. In so many parts of the world, including the Western world the blame is usually placed on the survivor. And not where it is meant to be.... on the perpretrator.
This is sad. Very sad. Rape should stop in every part of the world immediately!!!!
ONLY...IT WONT
Why? Do you believe men should not have free will?
@@daveking6192 Hurting other isn't free will. Plus not only men rape, don't be offended by everything.
Abcfefg hijklmnop It is if you choose to do it
Chhavi Gupta it’s human nature animals will animal
For some reason after being sexually assaulted by my uncle when I was 12 there after I acted like it never happened and only started to affect me later in high school and now as an adult I realize how exactly it affected me
sorry that there was a scumbag with their comment. I have reported it.
Bravo Alley thank you 💖
Kailee ._. I didn’t know what to do either, I would ask if I’ve ever been sexually assaulted when I first went to get professional help for my schizoaffective but my mother was always present so I always said no but I had never told anyone and I first told a friend, to become open about it I think you have to tell people it was SO hard for me to tell my second oldest sister because I was panicking at my grandmothers funeral because my uncle was fresh out of prison and there and I did everything in my power to avoid him and completely ignore him if he sees or tries to talk to me. I think you just have to start with telling someone. It wasn’t till after high school I told a professional and he told me that might have been a trigger for my schizoaffective disorder amazingly I think living at home when I was younger was more traumatic but that as well was traumatic in its self and it wasn’t till later in life I realize how wrong and terrible all these things were and all these signs people and myself missed when I was growing up. I know it’s hard and I haven’t even told my mother yet im not even that far into trying to recover from it so don’t worry I’m still in the same boat.
@@kailee._.5022 Check out RAINN, and the National Sexual Assualt Hotline (1.888.656.4673) they helped me a lot.
Facetious Times sorry
The worse part is being told to forget about it, to move on.
That hurts.
I totally think the same. One time my friend told me to forget the past and I was like dude I have PTSD that is almost imposible. And she was a pretty good friend. Sometimes people don’t have respect.
I completely agree
thats just how it works. world doesnt revolve around u. if u think rape is bad then u have not seen ur comrades get beheaded in front of ur eye.
yes, i just want support and to be told i'll be okay because i literally cant move one and haven't been able to since after the abuse stopped when i was a kid
My friend told me that I have to just keep trying.
That was at a time when I was totally depressed and living isolated in a foreign country with no outside help.
I told her that I can’t but she didn’t understand.
Half a year later I did get help but from others.
I am better now but whenever I talk to her it hurts me that she of all people, who has a similar backstory as me, didn’t understand how close I was to give up completely.
Those times make you realize who you actually can count on.
I was wearing jeans and a knee length sweater. I was showing any skin. I wasn’t dressed scantly. It doesn’t matter what you wear. PTSD is real and I struggle daily.
@VeevLoot Yep. I was wearing a jeans too and and t-shirt, a 2,50 pantyhose and sneakers. For me that that looked more like "mom-style casual" at that day, not very intersting. Ok have maybe shown skin of my ankles. Maybe from the crazy view it´s to provocative to see that. I don´t know. They find always a reason for victim blaming. Seems to be a kind of reflex like a pablow´s poodle. Sad... Don´t let yourself bother to much by such people dear. You´re only wasting your energy and they are not worthy. Greetings from me to you. Have a good time. 😉💙
I am a man and was raped by two women. One was a girlfriend and one I was casually dating. Rapists have a mindset. Man or woman. They will get what they want regardless of how you feel, how you dress and what you say. It is NOT your fault. Karma will find them. It is your job to heal.
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
I had jeans and a short sleeve gingham blouse. The cops told me I'd get me clothes back when they took it for a semen sample. I never did.
He didn't go to jail either because we were both 17. I'm 23 now and it's only gotten worse with time.
@@Kingx90are you a small dude or were you drugged or something? I could take 2 average females by myself.
PTSD is so real. I hide mine behind humor and have turned from an extrovert to an introvert. I relate to this so much. I’ll probably never heal completely as I can’t bring myself to go to therapy. I do try and see good in the world and helping others makes me happy.
Angel _ if you need support or any help please reach out to me.
Eleanor Kipper Wow. That simple statement moved me to tears. It’s nice to know there are great people out in the world. Thank you.
@@eleanorkipper613 a lovely gesture!
Heyy Angel. I struggle with PTSD too and I hid it completely for a year. I broke down one time when I was drinking with a close friend. I felt so much relieve after telling him and felt euphoric for like a couple days. After that I slowly started talking about it more openly with him and other friends that have also experienced r-word. Sadly I still felt miserable and depressed tho. That was 2 years ago.
Half a year ago I contacted a contact person from my university since I was really struggling with school and was failing exams left and right. She REALLY helped me and gave me extra opportunities if I failed one.
Recently, two weeks ago, I called for help from my doctor. I had avoided it for two years because back then my friends were pushing me to call them and I felt like I wasn’t ready yet and felt too ashamed. I was also really scared.
The thing that made me realise I HAD to call was a friend of mine who was really depressed. He jokingly said that he had wanted to call for help but didn’t do it. So ofcourse I told him to call anyways because he shouldn’t be afraid and I felt really weird telling him because I had done the same thing as him but for two years and couldn’t even convince myself to do it. I felt guilty towards him and myself in a way.
One week later I called. I wasn’t prepared and didn’t feel ready at all. I even contemplated that I should just hang up the phone while waiting for them to pick up because I was so afraid. The doctors assistant answered after 9 minutes of waiting and she asked me why I called in. I immediatly said to her that I was r-worded and needed psychological help because I wasn’t doing too great. She was really nice and planned a meeting with the doctor for the next day.
The next day I went and we discussed some of the different options. We agreed on a company that specifies in this subject and now I’m on the waiting list and need to wait for about two months still.
The system is far from perfect. I’d rather have had an online opportunity to plan a meeting so I wouldn’t have to say it out loud but it did make me feel really relieved and confident in myself after I did call. Even if my future therapy won’t help me atleast I will know. (I really don’t mean that in a rude way❣️)
I know it can be very very scary and it might not feel like it’s the right time for you but even calling will give you so much empowerment and a lil happiness and you deserve that! Deep down you know it! I know from my experience that avoiding it will only make it worse.
I know that I’m just a stranger but I want you to know that you are worthy of and deserve all the happiness in the world and that you have a right to feel empowered and happy and be relieved of all the stress you are experiencing.
Also, you are not alone. If you ever need help quick, reach out❣️
Please educate yourself about magic mushrooms, there’s a lot of evidence they can helps to treat ptsd and major depression better than therapy & antidepressants. Hope now you’re in a best place and will be in even better.
Dealing with rape PTSD every single day…
it started at 3 years old this has me balling
my eyes out 🥺 Jesus is what gets me through.
I was taken advantage of someone very close to me, twice. Both happened while I was sleeping. I woke up by someone touching me. It happened when I was 12. Now, I'm 19 and everytime I was accidentally touched or brushed by my sister (who I sleep with) while sleeping my whole system will wake my body up and I will remember that moment. Every time. I hate it so much. Now, I can see that person living his life like nothing happened.
@@sheepers5757 thank you :')
Sorry for what happened hope that piece of shit who touched you dies
You should call him out.
@@ices3456 The first time it happened, I didn't tell anyone, I was scared and didn't really know what to do. I grew up and during my teens, every hand brush and accidental bumps from him felt like I was taken advantage of. The second time it happened, I was 15 and I called him out. My family beat the shit out of him but he didn't have a jail time. He have two kids and a wife now, and when he shows up at a family reunion we just pack up and leave. I'm just happy that I can face him now and not feel ashamed, and he's the one always looking down.
@@lulumoe8357 wow I'm proud of how your family reacted. 🙌
I was severely sexually assaulted at 16 by my first boyfriend. It's been 9 months since and its grip on me is still as strong. Only now, recently, I've started worrying about the way I dress. I bought a beautiful marine blue dress with white dots a few weeks ago. I was so happy about it and was excited to wear it. A few days passed by and then it suddenly hit me: "Is it maybe too short? Maybe it'll draw too much attention.. I'll wear it some other day."
It's horrible how young people, and older, feel they have to be cautious about wearing something so normal and simple as a dress, among other pieces of clothing.
@@bossragegamer4081 At the time, yeah
Steph Evy You should of stayed with him, no one will want you in the future
I’m so sorry what you’re going through, thank you for leaving your boyfriend. You’re beautiful and no one can tell you how to dress. For everyone who’s been through this, we need to spread awareness to other people so it doesn’t happen to them too. But for now, ignore the trolls in this comment section and wear as much clothing as you pleased. Have a beautiful day
@@daveking6192 I think majority of people would prefer a kind and caring partner, rather than a jerk such as yourself.
@@kaylastokes3285 Thank you so much
I've been there....I felt this in every part of my being. Stay strong💜💜💜
No you haven’t, stop lying
@@daveking6192 Actually, I have. Idk who you are to tell me what I have and have not been through. Mind you're own business. You don't know me.
You should make a video about your experience because that would be interesting.
Martin L My God you need your head looking at ! Have some respect imagine if that was your mum or your sister
@@MHR70CC It might be his opinion or what he personally believes honestly.
it’s so slow. every day it feels like i’m remapping my body, like i’m lighting it up inch by inch so that i can finally see myself. i keep finding wounds i didn’t know of, and slowly i’ll stitch them back up. i start remembering things, and it hurts all over again. sometimes i look back and i realize that i’ve come so far.
Thank you bbc for exposing this
no one else will
Rape incident like has caused me much sadness.
Rape has become a normal matter in India.
It gives me much sorrow😓😓😓
Mature Brain thank you for saying that!
The rapists are not punished properly in india.
I’m very sorry. I was abused almost every 3 days and I feel the struggle you went through
@@maturebrain4469 I know presidents need to get there act together and have some respect for women
medication, years of therapeutic support and a stable environment were the only solution for me. sending supportive thoughts to anybody still in the beginning of their recovery.
I was rapped and my parents are very destructive I can do therapy but I dont have good environment can therapy work
7 months in. still feels like it happened yestersay
What a brave woman for sharing her story. Your strength is inspirational.
No body asks to be raped or sexually assaulted by anyone. It has nothing to do with what you wear or your looks. It's to do with the depraved offender and their deviant urges and need to control. Please, even if you do not wish to report it to the police, you can still get support from victims support. Rape Crisis is also a UK wide charity that will do all it can to support you. You ARE worthy of seeking support.
I was taken advantage of about 3 months ago by my best friend. We were at his place and he served me vodka. Before i knew it his hands were all over me. Gladly I didnt hesitate to care for myself like getting the morning after pill and going to a gynaecologist. It was my first time. I’m 15.
I can feel his fingers all over me, everything around me disappears and suddenly i see the alarm clock. It says 17:17 in bright orange colour. His dark green shirt and the way he whispered things into my ear. I can remember everything, despite the alcohol.
I cant even let my parents hug me anymore. And he goes on living his life, not even caring about what he did to me.
Hi Ashley!
How are you feeling now?
I wish I could help you. As a fellow rape survivor, I can share my experience.
First of all, you should never feel ashamed. It's NOT your fault. It's NEVER your fault. No matter that you drank vodka, moreover, he did that on purpose. If you feel the strength, you should speak about it. Tell your parents. Go to the police. Make sure you have support, and punish him. I was raped several times by my 'boyfriend' when I was 13-14, so I understand the pain you are going through. I remember the shame and fear. But it's very common for survivors. Now, at 25, I regret not telling anyone. I regret not seeking help. I wish I could send him to jail back then. Also, it's important to start therapy. The earlier you start helping yourself recover, the better. Don't let it become chronic. I feel very sorry for your pain. I wish you a successful recovery. I am on my journey right now, after ten years of denial. It's good that you understand you were raped, it's a big stage. But always remember, you are strong, you don't have to deny your pain, you have to live this grief and let it go, but in the end you will come out as an empowered strong young woman! Sending love and support. Sorry for a messy comment, it's 3AM here. Write to me if you find my comment useful. Hugs.
God I am so sorry you have had to go through this.
You didn't deserve what happened to you. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I struggle with this too.
Mate I’ll be the judge of that one
Two sides to the story
It's like you're describing my life too.
I was happy, vibrant and pretty... Then I got so fat, I deliberately gained weight and stopped looking nice to be safe... But I wasn't. Predators still are there.
So I'm going to change back too.
I want to learn self defence and I am wiser too. I carry a weapon as well.
I heard stories bout being big boned and having underactive thyroids for being fat, this has to be the funniest and least believable 😂😂😂
Martin L you’re really going to comment disgusting comments under those of rape survivors? Why? What do you get out of it?
you deserve to feel pretty and feminine, in your own way.
Hana Survivor? They got some love not been shot 5 times in the head
Dave King
Try castration. It helps.
When I took his ass to court, they had the audacity to ask what I was wearing.
For the record, I was wearing an oversized StarWars t-shirt, black leggings and socks. I had no makeup on and my hair was a mess.
I thought that this question was a myth... I was so taken back by the fact that they tried to blame ME for being raped. The court system is so corrupt.
I’m so sorry. I thought they ask you this to use as evidence if the clothe maybe have dna on it
Your “for the record, I was wearing …” lost me. I am sorry this happened to you but am also saddened that you feel the need to share what you were wearing. To me, that just adds fuel to the fire. I see where you’re coming from, but to me it comes off as shaming others who weren’t wearing your type of outfit. I trust that isn’t your intent. We all suffer from the perpetuation of rape myths. I feel sick to my stomach writing this comment and I was asked the same question at my rape trial, for context. It just shouldn’t even be a topic of conversation.
I'm so sorry...and this is why there are thousands of women like me who never reported. Because the way we have been programmed in the society in which we live, the SURVIVOR is the one the courts choose to blame more often than not. Until that shifts, rape culture continues....
I am so touched by the author's vulnerability and desire to talk about a painful memory with the hope that she will heal and that her audience will understand her, themselves, and victims and learn helpful and healing information and strategies of thought. I noticed she focuses on empowerment and self compassion, and this also says something about the compassion she shares with telling her story on BBC.
I’m in absolute tears right now. I love how strong you are and it really hit hard when you said you kept the outfit locked away. I do the same. I loved that outfit. I haven’t worn it in 2 and half years now. I think I will wear it now. Thank you 💖
I would have done that but sadly I was abused almost every 3 days 😥
You are never the same person after it. I dissociated from reality for two years, felt such an incredible amount of shame, and ruminated over and over about what I did, how I “made myself available.” I tried to go back to normalcy after it happened, but I couldn’t; I collapsed from this fear that something bad was about to happen and it overwhelmed me. This is the new world you accept after someone uses you like you’re their plaything.
I don’t understand why people’s parents don’t tell them that rape and assault are the fault of evil people who only care about themselves. My dad always told me that. In every serious discussion we’ve ever had about someone trying to hurt me, the person trying to hurt me was the villain. We never talked about what I might be doing wrong to deserve it (he did say it’s important not to go out alone after dark and to always tell someone I trust where I’m going). I dress modestly but it’s not related to the fear of being raped, I just believe that’s what is appropriate and respectful to myself and others. Whose parents told them that they deserve to be raped for doing certain things? This is so confusing. Why don’t you understand that the rapist is the villain? And you’re the hero for surviving to see another day after a bad person took something important from you. It doesn’t make the pain go away, but maybe there would less guilt over it.
Ur words r very powerful! I when you said the rapist is the Villan and we are the heros!
It's so sad that those people questioned her like that ITS NOT HER FAULT.
Stop victim shaming. Rapists are the ones with the shame . Society has to make aware of the fact that rape can happen to anybody, at any age, to any gender at any time.
Ughhhh I swear Everytime you think about it, it feels like it was only yesterday but really it was years ago. That whole 3 years I purposely gain weight & wore bagy clothes, this year I actually went to get some help, workout, and forgave myself and realized it wasn't my fault. It's different when the child doesn't know what happened to it's mother when you get raped & got pregnant. I remember looking at my daughter feeling disgusted and ashamed.
I'm with u girl I also have PTSD I starting having when I was just about to enter high school and now am an adult and it also gave me a heart condition. I can't talk too loud or shout or eat certain foods. I even can't afford to sweat or endure heat as it makes my heart races and send me into cardiac arrest which I've had 2 times already and the next I won't be so lucky. Go girl #fight PTSD
Omg you get that with the heat too? I thought it was just me. If I get over heated I panic and I hyperventilate. It's automatic response I can't control.
This video was very touching. It feels relieving to finally hear someone say that, no matter what, you don’t deserve to be treated like that. I was sexually assaulted by someone I thought I could trust in middle school. Till this day, I still haven’t told my family about it because I feel ashamed. I think one day, when I get the courage, I want to talk about it. There are so many things that make life difficult because of that event, I struggle with being close to guys or being in a relationship since I don’t like to be touched anywhere beyond my hands, so it would be nice to finally talk about it with my mom and try and go get some help. If anyone wants to share some advice, I’d be very grateful.
Hi
How are you now
We can get through this together
I was 8
I wish it never happened
Read books
Listen to music
Hope you told someone who you trust
I am sorry you went through
I am feeling sucidal now
Strangers comfort keeps me going
Hope you are okay
I was sexually abused by my father when I was 4 then when I was 16 sexually assaulted by a family friend. Eventually dropped out of school now I just stay in my room all day. About to turn 22
Hey Lily...how u doing now?
Why would I lie? Tf?
Chhavi Gupta I’m doing a lot better now, I have a boyfriend and he’s very understanding and helps me through a lot.
@@Chai_586 thank god. Ill pray for u lily. But just dont let urslef become too dependent on ur boyfriend. Bcus in the end u have to depend on and love urself the most.
Chhavi Gupta I know thank you 🙏
6, almost 7 years later and im still recovering from my first rape. Its changed and controlled my entire life and everything that i do. This video was really well done, thank you for sharing this with us
@@daveking6192 What is with your comments in the comment section? Do you have a morality problem?
I hate how there’s nothing we can really do about it, we can’t protect ourselves we can’t prevent it, and we still don’t know how to heal
Does anyone feel unsafe all the time when they’re alone outside, or near men? If you have any tips…. 🥺
Just take deep breaths and remove yourself from that area if it gets too much ❤️
Get therepy
Therapy honestly that and find Gods loving forgiveness and trust the process
I’m so scared it will happen again
I was sexually assaulted by my uncle for 2 years when i was really young, the worst part was when I found out that i was but a part of a list of victims, growing up with it I was and still extreme when protecting myself, i just started therapy myself.
Because of the fact that ive been assaulted by a man and even another girl my age, i dont feel safe around anyone. It's taken me ages to manage to talk openly with self defense instructors, therapists, friends, and even more- i still cant talk to certain people who look even slightly like that man and that girl, and i wish i could actually communicate that in real life. I want everybody including myself to know that healing will take time, but it will be so much better when you don't force it too soon.
How does a person deal with the intense shame of being lied to for sex? I believed every word for six years, until it just wasn't true anymore and I was thrown out like the trash. There wasn't much substance there anyway, I just thought he was doing the best he could. It wasn't a violent incident, but rape by coercion and manipulation is still extremely traumatizing. All my best to anyone out here who is struggling. Just keep going. Do the best you can with what you have to work with right now ❤
I’m sorry for what’s happened to you, but be super proud of this video. It’s going to help a lot of people, and your courage is amazing.
The other thing about PTSD with rape is that, you might repeat it over and over with other people before you realise what’s really happening.. its a trauma response when you’re going through the denial.
How so, may I ask
There’s something called repetitive syndrome where you will constantly repeat your trauma in order to understand it, as well as the fact that if you have not healed it, your natural response to anything sexual is to go back into the shock mode of how you was when you was raped- it’s just like when you have unavailable partners over and over again because lets say one parent was that way, you are more than likely to repeat it until it’s healed as it’s now become stuck energy in your body and you will more than likely be on a auto pilot responding to trauma. Everything becomes habitual.
@@gurpreetb477 that’s interesting, I find myself doing that very same thing. I hope we can heal and get over these traumas.
love, respect and strength to these amazing women
I was 12 when I was raped by a stranger. I was also sexually abused by a family member when I was 7. was terribly assaulted at 13 by a guy who I thought was my boyfriend who kept manipulating me and blackmailing me. he'd even shot videos and shown it to people after which my entire school started calling me dirty names. even teachers called me dirty. I'm 23 now still healing, going to fight for myself. it's fkn fkn terrible what abuse and rape can do to us where we struggle for finding a little bit normalcy in day to day life
I just experienced ptsd when I saw a video of another girls experience and she said things that were similar to what happened to me which was over 4 years ago now and it set me into a spiral feeling sick from it like it triggered the exact emotions I felt when it happened…
It’s so strange how an outfit could be so triggering. Last year I bought a beautiful dress for a date I was going on. I bought it on a Monday. Being a single mother and having not dated in 3 years, I was so excited about that dress I wore it around the house just because. On Saturday I wore it on my date. He raped me that evening. I have put it on since, not thinking about it, well at least pushing it to the back of my mind. Walked out of the house and had a ptsd attack. My brain screaming, if you wear this you will be raped. I looked down at the patterns and found myself right back where I was the night it happened. Reliving each moment, part of me wants to burn that dress, the other wants to be able to wear it again and not associate it with my rape. Funny how a dress can make you feel so many things
4th grade someone grabbed in the bus line I front of the whole school and I never wanted to return I have been sexually assaulted over 15 times in my life starting at 2 years of age to 35 being raped
I had extreme ptsd. Like anxiety attacks, panic attacks, agoraphobia, couldn't talk to people at all, isolated myself all the time. Im living proof that we can heal from ptsd. Eye movement desensitization reprocessing(EMDR therapy) is great for healing ptsd. Meditation, therapeutic celibacy(brahmacharya), and yoga are great aswell. Eastern methods are very healing.
Thanks! Can you talk a little bit more about EMDR? Can we do it with a trusted family member, such as our moms?
I’m literally crying, I’m so sorry this happened to you.
I was recently rape and the men just boast online, I feel like dying, I cringe at any man saying hello to me. I honestly don't know how to cope will I ever be me again?
As I survivor I truly commend you for your bravery...already understood I need to reclaim my identity ,Thanmyou❤
I'm grown ass man, at age of 13 I got addicted to porn .... Then that habit got out of hand and I got hooked on porn which is forceful and abusive in nature ... I always knew this was wrong so I slowly started to step down ... I kept moving myself to less horrible things and finally started practicing no fap and no porn for 1 year.
Now I look back and feel the pain that how horrible the rape is ..... Just getting flash backs of videos I have seen made me disturbed to my core ..... That's why now I'm watching and learning how rape victims survive and heal ...
I'm deeply sorry for all person out there who's been through this..... I'm just punishing myself by going through all of these stories ..... Nobody deserves this .... Nobody
smh i just dont get how some men feel its ok do this w/o consent
Rape is a sexual crime designed to do one thing...to have POWER over that person.
@Sahand Az what do you mean?
Fa’tuma
Mostly men.
It's cause they stuck
Narcissist
I was rapped and sexually abused for over 5 years. The hardest part is - forgetting it. Living with those thoughts just kills you both mentally and emotionally.
Also, when your abuser says: I apologized, why would you think I’ll do anything again?
Any action they make will NEVER keep you calm. You’ll always have those thoughts of “What if…”
Unfortunately, it is really hard to spot those victims because when someone asks them “how are you?”, they will always say “I’m good”. Same for me, I will ALWAYS be “good”.
I’m sorry for all those who had to go through any type of abuse 😢
I was rape at the age of 9 by my step-dad on my birthday and that led to depression and i stopped opening out to people and people asked why don't you talk much and my mother never bothered with me so i left for good
praying to completely remember and fully realize
my greatness, my wholeness, my creativity,
my magic, my power, and my authentic genius:
to live in inspiration and insight and joy and bliss.
About a year and a half ago, I was on a dating app. And I met this guy and prior to meeting up he had prefaced that he’d be ok with me saying no, but that he’d get upset. Pretty much verbatim. And he also disclaimed that we wouldn’t be doing anything sexual. But, when we met up we were in his car and we had taken our clothes off, I was still under the impression we weren’t going to do it. But then he put it there and he started pushing in, at that point I didn’t know how to feel or what to do so I just let it happen. I figured since it’s already happening I may as well go along with it even though it hurt and I was so uncomfortable. A part of me thought that if I allowed it to happen then he’d want to commit, I was wrong. And I denied the fact that it was r*pe but I just recently realized how much it impacted me and my sex life. I always feel the need to rush into it bc I don’t want to be put in a position where the other person wants it and I don’t again, and I’ve always gotten so uncomfortable when sex was a topic. Especially with men, and idk. This all recently came up and I’m too eager to finally just say what it was and feel confident in knowing my feelings are valid
Almost same thing happened to me 😕 that's why now i'm so careful and i don't go out with men that easily i refuse to stay alone with them because you can end up making sex with a person without wanting it at first and with no pleasure
Sometimes my vagina feels like it wants to vomit and I don’t know how to help her. I just feel guilty I let her go through that… now I can no longer sleep without clothes because my vagina n my thighs touching me is a major trigger and makes me feel sick. I wish we could get new wombs and vaginas for free. I have delayed reactions. So, I didn’t realise what happened to me until months later.
Your body parts don't have a mind of their own.
@@markrobbin I deeply disagree.
@@markrobbin and it’s not just “body parts” it’s a vagina that self cleans itself and lets you know when it’s infected etc !
rape is always the rapists fault,never ever the woman/man’s. i could be stark naked,there is never an excuse to touch me in any way.
I have never been raped. But I lived with a very not so friendly family for pretty much all my life. Things such as loud noises, doors slamming, any time someone is coming towards me at a fast pace, I can’t help but flinch. And all of the memories come flooding back into my head. Playing all at once. There are a lot of places and buildings that Give me flashbacks. Every time I hear the rattle of a key unlocking a door I get super sweaty
I don’t have ptsd. Worse things have happened to people. I am just being a big baby about everything. I’m only 12 so I cant be sad about such minor things in. Comparison to what has happened to others
Don't you ever belittle your problems and your traumas because they don't seem that serious in comparison to others'. Every bad feeling you go through is important and you should not compare it to things that had happened to others!
Kerli Fries
thanks😌
U r not being a big baby it’s ok take care of yourself and don’t blame urself for anything 😍😍
Growing up I always told myself am over what happened to me ....but get older it's like aunting me!!
Most women don’t even realize we were raped till a year after. I blamed myself a lot
I was raped a few years ago... Many times, my significant other was very aggressive and I was terrified to do anything I still am, I don't know how to get up and fix myself
I been raped when i was 4 years old and it happened again when i was 5, it kept happening for the next 20 years after i was 5, there doesn't a day that goes by were i don't think about end it, i can't do anything my life feels highjacked, i act though, i act like everything is alright but when PTSD episodes come everything is crushing,i live and a Muslim strict community I'm afraid to ask for help, when i do ask for help i feel scared i stop reaching, idk what i should do or when it will end, all i could think about is when i die i would rest. It been long years living this way
My brother you are not alone.
I have PTSD to and i have use Manny Methode like the Kugelübung from Orlando owen and the helping Videos from Dami charf. I have PTSD since a couple of month. Its not easy but you can heal. I Believe in you and in me.
The healing way is not easy but you can heal and get back to life like me and other but you have to the work
u deserve to heal. u can heal. u owe it to yourself..and none of this is ur fault. u deserve peace and u can achieve it!!
You are very brave.
I still have dreams about the person and I am older in my dream as an adult and I can confront him and sometimes I physically beat him up.
But not to kill him. Just to hurt him as much as I can.... And my mother says she has no responsibility for because she was not a part of it.... And my mom is also a narcissist.
And I am the escape goat for the family. And from all those abuse that I never knew. I had till a couple days ago. That it was all trauma that I am dealing with in my life. And I had to pick a sapanic attack and I've never had those before and I could not breathe. And almost passed out. I could not stop hyperventilating. None of my family believe me. They all Say I am the problem and that I have issues and I am crazy..... I'm just finally realizing that I have Trauma and been abused and that I need to cut them off from my life... But because of all this happening I was also kicked out to be homeless.... That is where I asked God if he was real to reveal himself to. Because I had no one else to turn to. And I believe if all this did not happen in my life. He would have never came to me the next day. And he shined like light through my windshield. And he spoke to me saying that he was always here. And he will always be here, hes the creator of everything. He said that he made everybody grasp differently. He created everyone and every leaf that he created is different. And he also created them all that way. And he told me he created my mother differently as well for his purpose for his Kingdom and I finally gave up on why my mom was so hateful. I'm deceitful and manipulative to me. I now talk with god always in the holy spirit walks with me everyday.. I have drawn so close to God now. And read God's word daily to understand where I am at in life. That the holy Spirit gives me eyes to see the evil spirits and entities that are demonic. Attached to most people that are in this world when I am out in about.... Recently, people have been manifesting demons in front of me and they are coming out of my femily. And the last time I saw my mom. I shared a Bible verse and saw something inside her. There was a ball of energy that was full of hate. I confronted her and told her she had something wrong. She denied it and all of a Sudden she started.
Convulsing her neck back-and-forth screaming that she hates me hates. Me hate me hates me, hates me hate me. I was so scared I told her to turn around and take me back home... She has told all the people around her and had church that I abused her... This is how my story has been since I was a child. She will twist everything around and say. I am violent to her and she is being abused.. I have nightmares about Her as well trying to get the truth from her. To be honest and love me unconditionally, and she will not. So now I know that I need to cut these people out of my life and pray for them constantly... But I would have never found god and be able to hear his voice and speak to him and have a relationship.. And I think I'm just he with his eyes to see the spiritual things that are happening around us. That it is not my mom, but demonic things that are around her influencing her. Narcissism is demonic that comes from demonic beans. That explains that all over the world. Manipulating people getting them to be liars, deceivers and manipulators. It is to destroy families so now I do not hate my mom or the other people.. But I know it is demonic spiritual entities that we are fighting against in this world. And they are all over every person there is on this planet..... God is real and I pray that anyone reading this. That does not have God in their life. Try try to ask if he is real and to reveal himself to you with all your heart and to be honest about it.
And he will come to you. And you will know the truth god bless everybody
Hi Dan, thank you for sharing your story. And thank you for mentioning God and his son as well. ❤ I hope you have a good and prosperous life.
For me the worst part of the ptsd is that if a man (even if i know and trust them) even compliments my shoes or my bag i instantly get hit with a serge of fear, and that feeling in my stomach from the day it happened...it never ever goes away.
As of now this is my problem with my daughter she was raped by his cousin on her dad's side she was only 13 when it happens and this is already in court but my daughter is afraid and thinking that she dont want to attend the hearing because she feel so embarrassed and afraid😢
Remind her she has nothing to be ashamed of. She did nothing wrong. Remind her it is not her fault. the only prerequisite for being a rape victim is to have a body. No one should have to feel afraid for having a body. No one should have to feel afraid and ashamed because somebody abused their body.
The man who raped her did one of the most embarrasing things one could ever do. And he revealed to everyone who he really is inside: a slut. He is someone with a mind so rotten by thoughts of lust and sadism that he is willing to hurt someone just to please his desires, there is nothing more slutty or degenerate than that. He dishonered HIS name and hopefully he shall suffer the consequences.
this guy i was talking to, a situationship if you will raped me and i blame myself because my mom drove me to his apartment, i walked to him place, i walked in, i was wearing a see through shirt, i stayed quiet, i didn’t scream or yell for help, i distracted myself by looking at my phone, i didn’t scream instead i moaned i blame myself and sometimes i feel like i was just making the whole thing up but then i remembered that feeling of disgust buried in the bottom of my stomach and i can’t move my sister blames me as well as my mom, my bestfriend made a joke about how funny it would be if i ended up pregnant, i couldn’t move
You don't deserve the pain
My situation is not like that
I hear you
Your feelings are valid
What this disgusting person being did to you does not define you or make you disgusting. That only defines that person as disgusting
Saijal Reahal it's nothing, just saying what any decent person would say
I was first raped when I was 8. My cousin said no one would believe me. I believed him because they didn't take me seriously when I said he was aggressive so I kept my mouth shut. He kept molesting me until he raped me again when I was 11 and when I was 12.
I struggle to sleep on some nights because it's all I can think about. When I do sleep I feel like I'm going through some sort of sleep paralysis where he just gets his way with me everytime.
I can't trust my parents with this and I'm still a minor so there's not much I can do really
Some days are easier then others and other days just feel meaningless. Sometimes I just hope to close my eyes and never wake up but I'm still here. Even after all the attempts
This is my story. I still struggle everyday with what happened. But I'm getting better and that all I can ask of myself
It’s the loud sounds for me it’s looking at myself in the mirror it’s just me thinking I deserve it
Very sad, and unfortunately there is no cure from these scum bags out there.
how do you go on knowing hes just out there knowing he got away with it
That they’re crazy and trust me when I say crazy people are more sadder than whatever u are feeling right now
I feel the same... I keep blaming me...
When it happened as a child I was in a night gown and as a teen I was wearing a Long uniform all the way to my ankle
her words are too relatable 😢
Be strong.... Its not your fault. Dont hurt yourself.
:(
It's oke. You are strong. And thank you.
💪
People who witness these stiuations should not blame themselves. This may also happen to me as a man. Those must control their instinctual animal feelings. Even if we are not different from animals we should pretend... I'm so sorry on behalf of deviants.
So true♥️
this whole video is a representation of my story except the part when she is I believe so healing herself I have not gone pass that point yet and I it will forever be with
My ex raped me. I was in denial for a long time, just starting to accept the fact it happened and stop shaming/blaming myself. I do wonder and ask to whoever is reading this and has experienced rape.. does life become normal again or does it still live with you?
My ex did this too plus he was abusing me but still love it me I hope life becomes normal again
It's never the victim's fault. Abusers and offenders are called as such for a reason.
Hey guys
I wanted to vent .
Trigger warning sexual assault.
When I was 8 years old we just got a new home so there was a watch man for safety of our house he would come home and talk to us when there were no one near us he would put me on his lap and groupe my private parts and I did not know it was wrong but it felt bad and painful. Only I did become aware of it in 7th grade from bad touch good touch . The assault went for months I escaped so many times and also he would stop when mom came around I shared my story with my mom she was angry and supportive of me. He died only some years after the incident due to old age his granddaughter is my senior .
It nearly been decade but I can't heal at all
I am going to tell my father some years later I know he also going to be supportive.
Sorry for the Grammer and long comment
To all the people going through you are not alone.
I know this is old, I was Rd at 12yo, this week a gas station attendant almost got me
I fought my way out. The spite & drool will never wash off. I'm really struggling of anyone sees this can you see me. I'm struggling cuz I didn't report and he got a 14yo. I feel guilty and I try to friend everyone so they won't hurt me.
Same happened to me carried on for a year as normal until I had a brake down ,one police women changed my life by thinking I was wasting time and drunk ,I shutdown than, thing is I'm waiting for NY brain to switch on a TV I can't control
I don't no why I've committed, first time may be to make what happened to me count ,we all count for some thing there I've spoke u can to, take control of your TV Brain
Same happened with me when I was in bus 😔 that too at below 10 years age
I was molested by a female babysitter when 6, then raped by a friend's mom when I was 14. As a man, Its hard when female writers like those of Brooklyn 99 make jokes like it's AWESOME when a boy is molested by woman. It is NOT! My whole worldview was skewed...saw myself as dirty, and women all as having split personalities - the public and the predatory. I'm 49 and JUST starting to heal.
Thank you
All I can say is what the f is wrong with this world .. why stuff like that happens, how can someone be crazy in the damn head. When you grow up you realize how messed up this world is ..
it is really sad but the rapes are infuriating me thou
I Am Wishing You Well
It’s crazy that women tried not to overdressed because it can give an impression to people that they want attentions.. it’s like if i wear a skirt or fashionable earrings then it becomes “too much”. Maybe this is just my thought but this is maybe true.
I'd say it comes down to how someone is brought up. If you see parents or family members dressing say casual with long tops, no skirt not showing too much skin then youd probably follow them. We all have different views on the way we dress for example I'm a guy but I like to wear baggy jeans and a long jumper which goes past my bottom. I just feel that I know how guys like to gaze at girls from behind so don't want to be a hypocrite and dress in a way that might make girls or even some guys stare.
As someone who's been brought up in a religious family I do wonder why some girls dress a little skimpy. I just wonder if there is any morals behind it like they just want the attention from boys or want a boyfriend. Once in my hospital there was a doctor who was walking around in a short skirt and in the staff room the lady nurses were talking about her saying a guy will only want to sleep with her rather than being with her and getting married. Sadly God gave men and I'm sure women that temptation feeling which mainly is what causes problems like rape
Zain K
You’re victim-blaming.
Omg i feel so sorry for u! Im a boy but no one deserves to get raped! Raping should stop!
Hello, my name is Sam and I’m 13 years old. I have just been raped by my now former friend, I was half asleep and wasn’t really paying any attention to what was going on around me. After the incident I confronted him about it and he said that he was thinking that he might be bi sexual so he wanted to test it. He also claimed I gave him my consent even though I wasn’t really awake. He is also aware that I am fully straight and I would never say yes to this. I am very upset and I feel ashamed that this even happened, please give me anything to help me feel better or any ideas on what to do from falling into a depression.
Hi
How are you now
Start free online therapy
I am a girl
I was 8
You are not alone
No matter what you wear or look like no one deserves to be raped. And it’s never your fault.
How can you live with the fact that you were completely violated? Crossed? You couldn't protect yourself... How do you live with the fact that it can happen again and also you have more possibilities to encounter anither monster since your boundaries are blurry? How can you life with the fsct that the person that was supposed to protect you, belive you and love you, didn't... That you were submitted, helpless, weak? No matter how much i do i will never be strlnger than a man, and we don't have any control at all besides ourselves, things can always get much worse, i am going tk end it all
Inspiring 💚🌿👏
Rape is worse than murder period
So then Id be considered worse than a serial rapist huh? Of course not murder will never be better than rape
I took Xanax at a park, got drunk another time at the park, both times was abused by girls and males.
Wtf dude😞
Nice one 💪
Moral of the story is *stay out of parks*
@@daveking6192 wtf !!!!+
@@daveking6192 wtf !!!!+