Relationship OCD (Relationship Substantiation) and The Healing Journey
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- Опубликовано: 11 фев 2021
- In this broadcast I address the battle of relationship OCD, often known as relationship substantiation. I will share with you my own struggle in this area and what was helpful in my journey.
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Please make a book or more videos on this. Its so hard to find any information. You are the first person to explain exactly what I've struggled with. Thank you for putting words to it.
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Wooow amazing! I struggle with this thing and I would say only the ones who suffer from it understand how distressing, life consuming and unbearable could be. My partner is not perfect, but he’s definitely the ideal person for me, he’s loving, Caring, helpful lovely, smart, trustable and to sum up: amazing. I still Get unwanted toughts of finding some flaws or distrust or think crazy things such as “if he is agreeing with me maybe it’s because he doesn’t defend his standpoint” or “he’s too organized and in the long term we’re going to be fighting” and crap all time...just crap.
. It’s totally horrible because it’s not only the unwanted thought you get about the person but the horrible feeling of guilt distress and sadness. The obsessive constant urge Of not having this, it’s like you wanna get out of your mind out of your head, out of your brain and just live your relationship in peace, because you truly want to be with the person, you truly want to feel your love without any doubts, but seems to be impossible and the more you try the less you can. That’s why I just started to feel the anxiety without trying to push it away, to feel the feeling, let my brain say whatever he wants and not judging it, not feeling it like if I am wrong or I am a bad person, this tough journey taught me to look through my past and I realize how mistaken I was in what I tought/felt love was, I was always in bad relationships where I got mistreated, jealous and controlled, or just chasing “bad guys” that would never give me anything, still I had the feeling of having crush on them and confusing it with love. Being with my current partner not only taught me what love is but also the big work you should put in a relationship. Sometimes the unwanted idea of me forcing things breaks my heart and makes me pretty sad and anxious and basically I cry a lot, and then I realize: if I wouldn’t really love him I wouldn’t be basically changing my mind and my life not only for him but for me, because at the end what a relationship should give you is real healing and realizing all your mistakes in order to have a better life. If you’re struggling and reading this don’t give up, don’t give up on a relationship that you want to be in because at the end your will should be bigger than your fears, traumas, distrust and misconceptions of life. You are a warrior and I already admire you for struggling with this.
Thank you so much for saying this. I am going through the exact same thing. I really hope that your relationship flourishes and that you have a wonderful life together, and I trust that you will find peace of mind. Ours is a God of peace and of comfort. Be blessed!
You are very aware of your issues and that’s great! Finding out about what ROCD was and that other people have the same issue has been so helpful for me. I can identify with so much of what you’re saying. True love is how you treat the person when the feeling of love and the butterflies go away!
I cannot even begin to describe how much this has blessed me, as someone who has battled with this for years and is in a new relationship that shows fruitful promise. Thank you, thank you, thank you. God spoke through you to me today - even though this was recorded months ago. I truly feel that!
I hope we all recieve the love that we need and heal🙏🏾
I can't yell you how grateful I am for this. You and this video are an answer to so many prayers. I've never heard someone articulate what I experience so clearly.
This was great! Really interesting to hear the roots of ROCD and about how God is still a part of it. Thank you ❤️
I needed this so much!!
THANK YOU!!
My brother !!! Loved this . Absolutely loved this ! I need this for this current season in my life!!!!!
Thank you Mark ! Please keep the podcast coming. This could easily have 500k or more views and subscribers. This is gold. Thank youuuuuu!!!!!
You have brought me so many answers I have been searching for. I have was moved by your tears.
Mark thank you for all your books videos and your ministry; you have spoken into my heart with my faith and things I’ve dealt with my entire life; your videos and insight have given so much light in areas and brought peace in my faith; THANK YOU for your dedication to this work as you are CHANGING LIVES! THANK YOU SO MUCH!
Thank you for sharing and helping! GOD BLESS YOU!!!
I think my issues i get obsessive over men who dont like me. I mean friends. But im learning how to let that go.
Such a blessing. Thank you God for leading me to Mark and his RUclips channel. ❤️🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
Wow, this is overwhelming relevant and good. So thankful for your life, your story.... This seems like a really tall mountain to climb, but I’m willing.
Mark, this video has helped me so much. When i listen to your words, the obsessive thoughts are silenced. I would love if you could do another video on this topic!
oh man, yeah that prophecy stuff can really get messy. I don't think that's the purpose of prophecy anyways. I struggle greatly with OCD and overthinking/dissecting everything. I need jesus each day and most days my overthinking stops me from even being able to read my bible.
How do you get through it. Everytime I hear people prophecy about God saying you need to let go of the old people and friends it gives me a acidity and stuff and I think they’re talking about me. 😔 and I don’t want to lose him either and it’s very hard.
Thank you for this video! Would love to hear more on this topic since it is not talked about much from a Christian perspective.
Thank you brother .... l. cried with you as l looked into the brokenness of my heart through your teaching !
Imagine being in a long distance relationship with relationship ocd😩 it’s brutal.
This is me!
That was me two years ago! We’re bow in the same city going strong! Hang in there it gets better!
This is me.
That’s me. I guess I needs more work but it life and God gave you this is because you’re strong enough to struggle. That makes you special!
Yes
Thank you so much you have know idea the impact this has had on my well-being.
I thought of Proverbs 16:9 when you were talking about how people wait on God to make a decision. Thank you for your videos! They are helpful. I am in my thirties and am realizing that I need desperate help in this area. Thank you again!
This has helped me to make sense of some of the most perplexing issues and situations that I have walked through in my life. You’ve made sources of ongoing torment and regret understandable. I could weep for the sense of relief and comfort.Thank you Mark!
WOW! I just heard the very things I needed to hear
Mark, this video has helped me tremendously, I’ve watched it three times so far and each time I watch it I am getting more information about what I’m going through. Do you have any videos on what love actually is by chance?
Thank you Mark!!
So grateful for you 🙏🏼💜✝️
These teachings really help me
Mark, thank you.
I love the way you say immaTORE 😅 Also love the message of this video ❤
ImmaTORE!!!!!!
@@marktdejesus 😂💜💜☺️
I brought my dad to Bible study today because I genuinely believe Jesus wants to help him!
I struggle with this combined with HOCD. Ugh it's the worst 🥺
Mark, thank you for this video. If you don't mind me asking, did you experience ROCD with your wife Melissa? If so, I would love for you guys to talk more about this. I recall in one of your other videos you suggested that ROCD can root from an inability to let go of a toxic relationship, and I'm left pretty confused. I'm seeking a godly perspective because I'm in a tough situation where my ex that I care immensely about is trying to reconnect with me after a difficult breakup... And I don't know what to do because my OCD is really intense right now because of that.
My problem is trust, I’m so afraid of being hurt. We haven’t had any problems regarding trust. The reason I know I have a problem is because I have a pretty great marriage. I keep all my worrying to myself and it builds up and I withdraw into myself. Also, I’ve never been cheated on too my knowledge🤷🏻♀️ I need help
Mark 1:15:46 I've always hated double dates because I am a toxic and jealous person. I don't know why I guess I'm just wired that way.
What if yours is a mixture of both religious and relationship OCD? A lot of my testing is looking up verses or listening to sermons and seeing if God is telling me to stay with him. If at times I feel like he is not, I freak out and start to think, I got to get out. This has also made me read the Bible less and attend services less because of the anxiety it’s caused me to feel. It leaves me thinking that God is saying I’m not as close to him because I’m still in the relationship. I also nit pick too, like if his family says something I don’t like I think “am I going to marry into that? I can’t, I just can’t do this.” it’s like I’m always finding an excuse to leave. This also causes me to be a serial break upper. Anytime something goes wrong, that is my first instinct. It’s killing me because I know I love him and care for him but why do I keep doing this? I keep hurting him and he still stays which makes me feel even more guilty and shameful. If his family knew how much I’ve tried to break up with him they would hate me. To add, we have been doing soo good the past 6 months and I didn’t even think about him not being right for me, I knew he was perfect for me. Which led him to asking me to marry him, so we are engaged and I’ve been so happy. But my OCD is starting to relapse again and I tried breaking up with him a few days ago because of something his dad said about being religious. It wasn’t even him, yet I did that. Overall, I’m just feeling so ashamed and like a monster.
How are you doing now? 😌
Ugh this is me! The biggest fear of "is God telling me I shouldn't be with him" and reading a bunch of Christian dating articles about who I should be with. I've finally gotten to the point where I am treating that thought as OCD, which is terrifying because it feels like I'm not trusting God, but I feel like the character of my boyfriend and our desire to live for Christ has been evidently shown so I owe it to us to treat the thought as possibly OCD rather than a whispering of God in my ear. It's a huge risk to me but I'm also learning that if I make the wrong choice, God's mercy will be new every morning and He will carry me through each day. How are you doing now?
SAAAAAMMMEEEE
I struggle with religious, relationship and cleanliness ocd. It’s really hard.
@@madisonhoadley8145 I can totally relate… how’s the way you’ve been doing it treating you?
i think this might be my root problem...
What about past trauma? I’ve been hurt in a “situation ship” and now the guy I thought I liked I am questioning and agonizing over the fact that maybe I’m doing the same thing to this guy that’s been done to me in the past. And knowing that if I am doing that to him I’m never going to be able to forgive myself. This is causing my nervous system and just my heart so much anxiety and grief. I know he’s a great guy but I thought I liked him and now I am questioning everything. like I’m so paralyzed with fear of making the wrong choice and possibly hurting him is just causing me wanting to stay away from him.
God will speak to your heart first then to others. Prophecy should be conformational not directional.
Mom, the king James Bible was ordered over Amazon because of runescape cop but I do actually believe in reading it and going to church to discuss it. Doesn't the course instructor prescribe the textbook room and time? God does the same because we were created in his image!
What the heck this is so me…you don’t understand. I’ve been like this for years!!!!!!
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Can you help me with more advice. My husband who grew up in a cult has been driven to "stop me controlling him" our entire 18 year marriage. He is emotionally abusive because of it.
I even wrote a whole book of post it notes once saying "I am not your enemy" and plastered them around the unit. Nothing gets through. He is despairing his life, and playing the martyr,
He accuses me of doing all these things you mention but it's actually him doing it.
I am exhausted from living under his "test"
Anyone who has relationship OCD needs to soberly be aware of how living under the double mindedness impacts the hearts of the other person. I had to make a clear decision of where I would go and no longer live as a victim to the anxiety, doubts and questioning. You should not have to live under anyone's constant "testing."
@@marktdejesus thank you. Not sure how but it helps to be validated. Thank you. You are helping me to understand him.
The police already knew my myu account was about as real to me as my runescspe account. They did that on purpose.
Mom and dad I believe God is trying to call you so Jesus can help you raise your only son better.
I believe God created all of the religious institutions in society but we were all created to have a personal relationship with god.
Annoying
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