How to Make a Decision
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- Опубликовано: 7 июн 2024
- Life constantly forces us to make very big and often very painful decisions. When we are next facing such a choice, here is a small exercise that could help us to know our own minds more clearly.
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FURTHER READING
“A good life is the fruit of a succession of good decisions, especially around love and work. However, we seldom accord the business of decision-making the kind of careful attention it requires. When faced with a large decision, we lack rituals and procedures. We typically procrastinate, lean on the nearest person or rush headlong into an unexamined solution. Fortunately, decision-making is a skill and - like any other - it can be taught. The chief enemy of good decisions is a lack of sufficient perspectives on a problem. We should systematically think through any issue from six distinct angles: through the eyes of - variously - our Enemy, our Gut, Death, Caution, Courage and our Parents. As we try out, juggle with and then synthesise these oblique perspectives, we will feel our sense of possibility expand - and a tolerable way forward gradually emerge from the present confusion…”
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I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure...
I thought I see what you did there... But I'm not sure either
Very witty!
what a step up! I see progress
this is some highbrow stuff
wat a pun.
"Unless someone from the future shows up and stops you from doing it, then it's not a bad decision," -my mom
Alex Hirsch Well, hi.. I luv your mom ❤
Hala Mustafa She'll be happy to hear that ☺☺
wish my parents would think that way too
What a statement! Your mom is wise!
@@crispindry2815 excuse yourself to her mum
One has to remember that no decision is perfect so one has to learn to live with "good enough" which is hard for most people.
Good video.
Absolutely!
That's somehow paradoxical: if I already decided long time ago for something that I have never really wanted, than I should stick to it and not do any another decision for something else because "no decision is perfect so one has to learn to live with 'good enough' (to live with that bad decision)"
Why is it so hard to make a decision
If only I know what's the right decision I will choose it
@@soseikiharagatatsu7859It is balance, sacrifices for something greater. Its okay to make unwise decisions sometimes, thats how we learn to survive after all.
I thought about liking the video... but I remain undecided.
HAHAAHAHAHAHA
🤣
lol
Same here
Haha first press dislike and then press like button... U will feel as if u have decided
2 additions:
1. it not so much the choice that matters, it’s what you do after you made the choice. Most of the time humans don’t have the capacity to completely comprehend all info. There are just too many questionmarks. In the end it’s what you make of it or how you adjust it afterwards that counts. See a choice as the beginning of a series of adjustments that in the long run help you to get were you want to be.
2. Bad choices lead to good things. A bad choice you make today may wind up to be the reason you meet your future spouse, new hobby, new interests etc etc.
I thought I knew English until I discovered this channel... it uses a super wide range of vocabulary. I feel like a noob
Me too 🥲
me too!!!! I even pause to translate some words
@Riser he might not be a native english speaker
This is British English. The Brits have a very good way with words. Middle aged and elderly patients (I work in the hospital) often do crosswords or read to amuse themselves. It’s quite common to see people reading books on the train or bus. I realised this is probably why they have many good writers (I moved to the UK only 3 years ago). They drop words like “pragmatic”, “cacophony”, etc on a usual basis. Sadly, the younger population don’t sound as sophisticated as the older population (decline in reading? More into phones?)
s a m e
""You miss 100% of the shots you don't take"
-Wayne Gretzky"
-Michael Scott
K K That helped me way more than the video did haha
I thought that was Micheal Jordan
This is NOT helpful. Sometimes getting off the court, is the best choice.
so your saying just listen to courage ?
See my problem is have different targets, limited shots, and not knowing which target to select.
Often, it's hard to take a decision because we try to apply the quantitative "less than" "more than" to compare choices, when in fact the main reason its hard to take a decision is that they lie on the same side quantitatively: both are good, in their own way. In that scenario, the challenge lies not in taking the decision, but actually taking any one and believing/defending firmly that you have taken the right choice and that you are actively persueing it.
Matt I can relate to this
The root of the word “decision” is the same root of the words “scissors” or “homicide”... it refers to cutting off or killing the alternative options.
If you are saying that the hardest part of making a decision is to follow through with it, then maybe you never FULLY made the decision in the first place.
exactly where I am at..
'I took the road less travelled by, and that has made all the difference"
My approach is a bit different. I have realized that I can always judge my past decisions very well but am indecisive with my current situation. This means my future self is better at making decisions of my current problems. So I imagine I am a step ahead in time, take a third persons perspective and then take a call.
As a young person going through life... I really appreciate this video exists.
Good on you for thinking about the fundamentals...I'm 40 trying to finish a bachelor. Choose one, done. You can always do something different. " A man between 2 chairs has no where to sit.". Good luck!
In case you need to hear it: TAKE ACTION RIGHT NOW!
STOP DELAYING
Decision making is a skill
YES!!!!!
ruclips.net/video/z0TeRqZdElo/видео.html
Erick Cazares ✅✅
"Without any presumption of victory" what a nice phrase
Great Video
Make decisions that relate to your finance
A Wealthy man is a Happy Man
Your right, but how are we suppose to make this decisions??
I've heard alot about crypto currency investments and how effective it can grow your income! Any recommendations on a guide?
@Mary Spencer Thanks so much for the recommendation, I will look into it.
@Harry Micheals A business partner told me about Warren T Sonia that he made $12000 in a week
@Chris Morgan Fear is a critical reason why alot of people scare away from investment
Being indecisive, that sounds like me. What often helps me make decisions is to not overthink it and do the first thing that comes to my mind. Once I start thinking, I end up always finding the excuse and not doing what I actually wanted to do. So instead I take a quick decision and follow it through :)
Of course, that is the case for the smaller decisions, like coffee or tea, chocolate or fruit cake. For bigger ones it takes a lot of time and patience...
easy said, hard done.
Chrisko1492 it’s very difficult to do this because sometimes you cannot figure out whether it fits in or not yes this does help but people with conflict within it is difficult although we must try. One way like earlier said it to just do it before any rational or weighing thoughts come in it’s should be used on small tasks or decisions because usually the eg unhealthy side will feed off your indecisiveness
I create videos for the people who want to KILL their anxiety, gain confidence, improve social skills, and reach their GOALS!!! Go to my channel if you think you can benefit! :) appreciate ya
But, Chrisko, I have trouble with making the decision to start doing that :(
Great advice though, thanks.
Chrisko1492 a
Decision making becomes much easier when you accept the fact that not all decisions will work out.
I think the reason I suck at making decisions Is because my anxiety gets in the way, and I fear to disappoint others..
Someone has empathy
You guys drop these videos at the most opportune moment of my life. At the brink of a huge decision and what do I see on my sub list? Y'all are like sane guardian angels! Thank you!!
So, looking back at your situation 5 years ago, was your "huge decision" a good decision?
About the "enemy" part, it's an interesting perspective. The problem comes when the very person you love the most is the one that's giving you advice as if they were your worst enemy. Then, you're very likely to follow your enemy's advice. It happened to me, and I made the worst decision of my life as a consequence.
Perfectionism makes us worry about making the "right" or "wrong" decisions when we should recognize that looking at things in black and white can limit ourselves and our actions. If we are compassionate with ourselves and realize that we are making the best decision with the information we have at the time, this will help us make a decision.
agreed Anne! check this out! ruclips.net/video/z0TeRqZdElo/видео.html
The animation and graphics are brilliant. These guys have a great team of people working on it.
plot twist: you're one of them and you're trying to get a raise :D
Sebastian Olar hahahahah, damn I wish I possessed the kind of talent you attribute to me in that hypothesis.
They're not just guys
@@aeonss__________ oh my god stop
original
This only thing that pacifies me these days, is SCHOOL OF LIFE, thank you for doing what you guys do!
I have been indecisive my entire life. Being able to make decisions saves so much time and worry.
Making big life decisions is excruciatingly painful for me… most days I don’t feel life is worth living
I had a difficult decision to make, so I re-watched this video to help me think. Indeed, a tolerable way forward did gradually emerge from my confusion!
make a decision based on the first insight you get, just don't act out of rage or fear.
Love this! First when seeing the five different perspectives suggested I was like "ok, so why these particular five, why couldn't it be an infinite amount of others??" but after hearing the arguments I'm pretty convinced. Thanks school of life :DD
Thoug I feel death trumps all the others for putting things into perspective.
Making decisions is such a drag.
hey youre kakashi not shikamaru
Captain Obvious istg
You are itachi not shikamaru
still don't know how to decide
Give yourself permission to come up with lots of ideas, even ridiculous ones. Ask others for suggestions too.
No matter how (good) you decide - it is not certain, that everything will work out the way you want it, and your life will never be what you want it anyway 😂😂😂
Yes. This is all theory and no practical application
You can put things into perspective and be cautious but there's no way of predicting the outcome that stems from a decision. Here's a little secret: there's no right choice in the moment we deliberate. You just pick your choice based on what you think is fair during that moment. So yeah .. The best thing to do is evaluate your priorities and values and based on them, make decisions.
I'll have to see this video so many times! Thank you, the School of Life.
Your intuition is already right. If something feels off don't do.
I finally find a job from home, parttime, ok salary, freedom.. and still my gut told me from the beginning something was off. I saw a few red flags, that and my own fear.. but I decided not going to take the job. I had experience in the past and when you fear something not doing it.. if you are sure about something, and you decide to go for it, all will be working out super great. When in doubt always follow your gut. This is my opinion and experience. I so love my heart it shows the way. 😍
“It is more important to quickly make a decision, right or wrong” - because then you are left with time to correct if the decision is wrong. This is the best advice ever!
Exactly what I was needing at the moment. Thank you so much!
Nice job TSOL. Added to personal favorites.
I'm making a decision right now.
As a perilously indecisive person, thanks for making this video.
A good way to practise this excellent method could be to watch great movies and imagine yourself as the main character. How would you decide? I thought about seven movies:
1. Revolutionary Road
Would you be as brave as Kate Winslet in that story? Or would you rather prefer to live somebody else's dream all your life like her husband Di Caprio?
2. Training Day
What would you do if you were Ethan Hawke's character ? Would you chose virtue over money and power ?
3. This Boy's Life
Would you dare to leave behind an abusive parent?? I love this movie a lot! I am not saying what happens, but what the boy does in the end is a heroic act.
( Both Robert de Niro and Di Caprio are great in that movie. )
4. Good Will Hunting
5. Ikiru
What would you decide to do with the rest of your life if you had only 6 months left to live?
6. Music Box by Costa Gavras
What would you do if you were a lawyer and found out that your father was a Nazi criminal?
7. The Ax , by Costa Gavras
If you were unemployed and desperately needed a job, how far would you go?
By the way here is one great advice that I have learnt from Dan Gilbert: he says that when we have to decide something that will take place in the future, we have to force ourselves to think about it in great detail. In his book " Stumbling upon Happiness" he gives this funny example:
" Have you ever wondered why you often make commitments that you deeply regret when the moment to fulfill them arrives? We all do this, of course. We agree to babysit the nephews and nieces next month and we look forward to that obligation even as we jot it in our diary.
Then when it actually comes time to buy the Happy Meals, set up the Barbie playset, hide the bong and ignore the fact that the NBA playoffs are on at one o'clock, we wonder what we were thinking when we said yes.
Well, here is what we were thinking:
when we said yes, we were thinking about Babysitting in terms of WHY instead of HOW, in terms of " causes and consequences" instead of EXECUTION, and we failed to consider the fact that the detail-free babysitting we were imagining would not be the " detail- laden babysitting" we would ultimately experience.
Babysitting next month is " an act of love" , whereas babysitting right now is " an act of lunch" , and expressing affection is spiritually rewarding in a way that buying French fries simply isn't. "
Thanks a lot for this very helpful lesson and for the great animation!
Your comments are so good that i think you can write a book by combining all of your comments
Hello there! That's such a nice thing to say. Thanks a lot! I wish you a very Christmas :- )
What's the point with the Good Will Hunting movie? Crossing the country to go get Skylar or working for the NSA?
Hello there. Oh I thought it was being courageous enough to stand for your talent and be diligent enough to realise your potential, rather than denying all that with a fear of failing or being excluded by others. I hope this makes sense. Happy new year.
This is on point. It's easy to judge from the spectators point of view, but when it's your turn to hit the stage....
Thank you school of life!
Great video!
Thank you for bringing these ideas together with sufficient cohesion such that I can readily apply them to the decisions I'll be making in the future.
This lecture fails to address the big problem - all these perspectives (Caution, Courage, Death, Gut) pull simultaneously in different directions. Choosing between all these impulses is the very source of indecision, not its resolution.We are all seeking a non-existent arbitrator. No doubt this is the appeal of superstition and religion. They promise the answer.
That's the essential problem of indecision and procrastination.
This lecture, rather than solving it, begs this question.
My rusty philosophy schooling tells me that Nietzsche talked about this.
This comment needs to be pinned
Sure. I agree.Instead of guiding to make a good decision, this video confuses more.
Aggh! So well said. I was wondering why this video didn't seem helpful and you summed it up. Thank you!
This gives us few points to start thinking on, few people don't know where to start from
I listened to this video 2-3 times with this comment in perspective. From how I’ve understood it, the 5 perspectives offered here (Enemy, Gut, Death, Caution, Courage) are merely lenses to get closer to making a sound decision, for there is no arbitrator to point to a “good” decision or to steer clear from a “bad” one. I think the idea that all 5 perspectives pull in different directions is purely dependent upon the situation at hand, for the possibility of 2 or more perspectives aligning with each other most certainly exists. It’s true that this video doesn’t offer a clear-cut solution, and I believe that’s because one doesn’t exist. What it does offer however, is a way to narrow down pros and cons by way of perceiving through 5 possible lenses rather than the plethora of information and methods in existence in the ether of our internet world. Procrastination is often the default to not knowing where to begin. By realizing that we can examine something in a handful of ways, we are provided a type of map that can help us to get closer and perhaps, instill some confidence.
Wow, this is EXACTLY what I needed.
death, "a terrifying agent of authenticity". Brilliantly put
These are actually really great tips, especially the first one
One of the best videos!
Thank you school of life, for being the teacher I never had.
School of life, you're the best philosophy teacher and advisor I've ever had. Thanks for the videos and always HQ content!
I'm watching this because due to tomorrow I need to decide with subjects I'm taking in my final years in high school and therefore which subjects I'll have in my Abitur, our final exams. I think it's so difficult!! Still, thank you so much for making this video!
I loved this video! I didn’t know if I should go to place A or place B before this video and wanted to ask my sister for her to decide for me. But thanks to this video I know. This video explained with precision (in my opinion) what each individuals should decide according to their own personality mixed with their limits and reality. Since I was a teen I would look at your videos to help me sort out my life and how to be a better human more generally. So thank you for again helping me 😊😁
One of the best videos.
Thanks indeed
*This video is posted the right time for me*
About to choose which college course and school I'm about to enroll in.
How did it go?
Same here
Your content is very helpful and well expressed, thank you.
I feel like this should have helped me but it didn't. I already listen to basically all of these factors and the outcome is usually that no option is good for all aspects and versions of myself. I know caution plays a big part of it, but I know myself well enough to know the risks, which ones are good risks to take and which fears are actually meant to protect me from real danger and it leaves me standing still. So the real question is, how, as a damaged, fearful individual, do you build up the courage and strengh to be able to live with the consequences if you chose wrongfully?
hi, i am a damaged and a fearful individual, who doesn't have a courage and strength that make me not able to live the consequence of my wrong choice, but as long as i breath, eat, and have warm place to live, im good
If I weren't talking about myself I would agree with you, but seeing as it's me and my fears I'd truthfully rather be dead then have to live with the consequences of my mistakes and most of all myself telling me all the better choices I could have made which, in this alternate reality, would have never lead to these mistakes.
School of life, I would like to request a video on how to be able to live with bad emotions
Good for you if you are able to think and feel that way, truely I admire you. I'm still trying to play my role as a "normal" human living a normal life
Hia!
I find your thinking beautiful.
But think it can be altered -- just a tad.
Neglecting choices seems to make you anxious. You may not want to 'lose' your life through bad choices. You may also hold the idea that decisions make us who we are.
The beauty of a choice is that, whichever option is chosen, a lesson will still be derived from the neglected choice. For example, If I chose to play a video game by myself (which I do too often lol) instead of playing with my friends, I may never learn a valuable life lesson from that play-session with my friends. HOWEVER, I will learn another life lesson -- after I realize that I am lonely -- to nurture and participate in friendship. Progress and learning is still found in either option here.
When choices become more serious, things get complex.
Never finding a beautiful or fantastic part of your life -- in result of a bad choice -- is a very real fear. It is. It is...
However, at some point or another, I think all of your choices across the "alternate reality[s]" will all create a similar you. Because you are you. You were borne as you.
Also, I have a question: What exactly makes you scared? Why will you not be able to live with yourself exactly? I will go out and say that I am scared straight to be even *slightly* rude to anybody -- even when they are not nearby. I often feel guilt. Anyway, what makes you afraid?
I think this channel spoke about these ideas in many videos. I hope I am not stealing their wording or ideas, lol.
Also, here are some nice videos that may add to your thoughts:
-ruclips.net/video/VrC_MSG9zSU/видео.html
-ruclips.net/video/0hdDVysvOsY/видео.html
I am getting really tired tonight, but I want you to know that I really admire you because of your intense anxiety. I battle guilt and loneliness every day.
I also want you to know that I love you.
I want you to --also-- know that I have made a wrong decision that caused me to lose contact with a close friend. I have made a bad decision. I am still trying to find my way from it. But I am okay.
I will also include these sites if you need some extra help.
-the suicide hotline for immediate help: suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
- Email service that allows you to talk to someone (I have used it many times in the past) www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/contact-us
Btw the FOMO video was attached before I watched it. It does seem to describe a different fear of missing out.
Brilliant. I’d love to see a school of life video on taking action, overcoming procrastination.
This was important. Thank you.
absolutely love this video!!!
This video is specially for those who wanted to comment but were not sure whether to praise This video or leave a funny comment and in end just left giving a thumps up
the sound effectsare on point...very nice video! I love this channel and will definitely consider the books.
Amazing, thank you
Thank you so much this was super helpful
Covering our ineluctable weaknesses from every side it would seem.
Thank you TSOL..awesome vid. as always. The comment section had me laughing like there is no tomorrow. You guys are funny.
Thanks. I might use this model of decision making to decide on whether I should keep a part time job I like in addition to my full time job that I feel indifferent to, or if I should stick with my full time job and enjoy more free time to work on other aspects of my life with the sacrifice of extra pay and a nice work environment.
What's helped me make a lot of decisions is a system of writing out pros and cons in a decision. I put down the options and see if one scenario has significantly more pros or cons than the other, but often the reason I'm writing these things out in the first place is that the pros and cons are about equal. The next step I take is to look at each pro from both scenarios and number them based on which positive outcomes are most important to me. Usually that helps clarify things. When I see a big number one and two in a scenario, that tells me, even if the other path's benefits are good, they just aren't as important. I do the same with cons if I need to break a tie.
Unfortunately sometimes this method still doesn't give me a clear answer and the longer I wait to make that decision, the more I get torn up. I'm also one of those people who tends to ignore my gut because I know I'm impulsive. I literally have a disorder that makes me more prone to impulsive behavior. Knowing that holds me back from doing something stupid.
This is a very helpful video which actually encourages us to think about decisions from all aspects. Thank you.
I love this. Thank you 💕
"A series of good decisions" but what is a good decision? A decision that was well made? Or a decision that had good results, whether intended or not?
Many of my happiness in life have not been a direct result of decisions at all and the circumstances could not have been anticipated whether by reason or by gut.
Good question. But I think he meant "a decision that was well made". Because a decision that has good results whether intended or not, it's just pure luck, in my opinion;)
I like the guidelines, 'Agent of authenticity' and it's reminder about the death clock.
Brilliant.
Your videos have changed my life
"Caution has the bravity not always to rebel against reality"
Ouch. What a quote. I think I rebelled to often against reality.
Alain, you are great sir
Enemy - What would spell game over?
Gut - Instinctively how do I feel about the solution?
Death - How much time do I have? What's my urgency rate?
Courage - Which option is meaningful to me & worthwhile sacrificing my present for the future?
Caution - What are my chances of winning v my risk of losing?
I learned these from the Effective Executive for very important decision making:
1. What happens if I don't make a decision?
2. Is this problem generic or an exception?
3. What is this decision all about?
4. What are my boundary conditions
5. Is this the symptom or root? (Why have you failed before/ What is preventing you from succeeding?)
-Is this generic for most but unique or new to us?
-Is this a truly unique problem?
-Is this a new generic problem?
This is the most helpful response yet. Thank you.
This video is SUPER helpful!! I'm the most indecisive person I know haha
Well done. The underlying pedagogy used to define the way a decision making process must be carried out is simple ,clear and wise. Making decisions can be taught by good teachers and learned by practising a lot in order to develop the skills involved in the process . Againg very neat and clear.
Thank you.
“Make the decision today to live, not die. Live every day, live every minute, live every second of your life.”
wonderful advice
So glad this video even exists.
Enemy - what would those not favoring us recommend
Gut - what’s our instincts say; what’s the first reaction
Death - think about yourself; life is short
Caution- think about risks associated with a decision.
Courage - think about the risk or opportunity lost if not pursued
Now for an illustration:
Decision: should a leave my well-paying job of 20 years and relocate to a foreign country to be with my love?
Enemy- Yes; loss of financial security and possibly heart break sounds lovely.
Gut - yes; this is definitely the thing to do. You have been longing to travel and live overseas. The job has lost its luster.
Caution - no; potential financial loss; career disruption; possible deportation; potential heart break
Death: yes, life is short. You need to do this while you are young and able.
Courage: yes; you will be fine. You are smart, educated and so finding a job should not be difficult.
Decision: hmm, still undecided :)
Hi Nikki, what did you decide and how did it work out? I'm having the same decision with the same thoughts
Did you do it?
Good enough is perfect !!
You guys have an answer for all of my problems
Amazing topic
This is great
Wonderful!
I almost cry watching these.
man this is so helpful !
When you mentioned Death, I imagined that scene from *The Greatest Showman* where PT Barnum looked at the graveyard and saw how many people died living their lives without fun or love
My gut said to like the video.
"Leave a comment." -(Brain whispered)
Manav Singh you must feel so proud.
my gut told me to upvote you
Manav Singh 😂😂😂
abhishek dandona 😂😂😂
Love the animation..
Thank you so much 🙏🏻🙏🏻
THAT IS GOOOLD
The best channel ❤👏👏
Good points to describe how to make a decision.
Insightful 😊
Interesting! It's most logical to consider the emotional!
Nicely pointed
Before you make a decision, you should think and listen to yourself so that you will realize and analyze everything. Consider those people surrounds you and the people who love you.
Yeah, choices have me in an existential crisis right now. I'm about to be 38 in a few days and I really need a choice that will succeed because I don't feel like I have any time left to make incorrect decisions. This goes for every area of my life and, at the same time, I am petrified to make a decision now when I used to just flip a coin to make a decision. It's hard to tell which decisions will end up being life changing ones, even if they seem trivial at the time and vice versa. For example, I chose to go home on a certain road six years ago and got in an accident that messed up my physical capacity. I thought it would be fine because I had made what seemed to be a very consequential decision to become a doctor and I was doing all the studies to get myself there. However, at the end of my undergraduate degree, I didn't get into medical school despite my good grades and my high MCAT score. Now I don't know which way to go in any area. I thought that focusing on my schooling was the key to making a life for myself and now I barely have any life at all. The only thing I have going for me is my intellect and my ability to think philosophically (which, of course, has lead me to a grand midlife existential crisis).
Hope you are doing better now🤞🏻 this resonates a lot with me now
I do this before i watched this video and the decisions i took that way was the best decision i got
Thank you brother ...
This went around in circles.