Dating After Being In A Narcissistic Relationship
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- Опубликовано: 18 окт 2024
- Getting back into dating after you've been in a relationship with a narcissist can be extremely difficult. I hope this video provides you some guidance and is helpful! Need help and want to contact me? Please contact me here: jimbrillon.com...
I am a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor located in Orange County, CA
I will work to help you integrate your past with your present and your mind with your body. My approach blends developing greater self-awareness with knowledge of how the mind and emotions work, to empower you to create change in your life. I strive to help you learn to better appreciate, understand and express your emotions. And I hope to lead you to self-compassion and a more mindful awareness of your life and lived experience. I want to help you build a life you love, with meaning and an enhanced ability to cope, adapt and thrive.
You can find more info below⬇
/ jimbrillon
/ jimbrillon
Covert narcissists are tricky because they treat everyone well. It's the victim that they show their true selves to eventually.
yes and it will get physical . even if they are an aspiring doctor and most done with med school
Got abused badly by my mother and constantly ended up with not always really bad men, but most of them narcissistic on different spektrums, always more or less traumabonded. Then I ended up with a man who made me feel horrible, like my mother, I've never been so depressed and suicidal in a relationship, but there was no obvious abuse visible. After literally saving my life and sanity by leaving, I started googling things he said and found out he and my mother are covert narcissists. I stayed single for a year and educated myself, understood that I'm not a Borderline Personality but struggling with CPTSD. I started dating again and immediately saw all the red flags. Got to know a man who was openly and empathicly able to communicate, even regarding all the inconvenient questions I asked. We're happy now for six months, no problems at all. When my trauma hits me, he's extremely patient and reliable. My first ever relationship like this. I'm 50.
I'm so glad you have support in your relationship. I hope you can find a good trauma informed therapist and work on your CPTSD. EMDR can be tremendously helpful.
Jim… you are an excellent educator! Thank you!
Lovely to hear you’ve grown from your traumatic experiences and happy now.
My Mother and subsequent romantic relationships including my 3 ex-husbands were narcs. But, I didn't learn about narcissism until I was married to my 2nd ex-husband. Now, I've been extremely low on tactics with my Mother for 16yrs & I only co-parent with my 2 ex-husbands w/strict boundaries. I've been single for 2 yrs now and can feel myself healing. However, I still have a lot of work to do before I'll be ready to marry again.
Gives me hope
I’m in love with an amazing woman who was married to a narcissist who was her first major relationship. I’m aware of how much time and effort it’s gonna take to help her dismantle her walls, but I believe true love is patient like that.
Props to you for your kind and loving patience. The definition of a real man right here.
@@bbukiyo I so wish I could tell you that we were still together and building a beautiful love story, but the trauma bond with her abusive ex proved to be too much. He was determined to make her life a living hell and was gaslighting her son against her before I could even meet him. This is by far the worst heartbreak I’ve ever experienced.
Definition of love... Love is patient
Trauma bonding is very challenging to break free of so I made sure to go deep within my childhood traumas that created this within me which I'm eternally grateful that I did 🙏
There is ALWAYS healing to be done after narc situations-ALWAYS
Thank you for this. Strange but I’m a man suffering from narcissistic abuse in a 15 year marriage. I’m really stuck. I only realized how effected by the abuse I am just 6 months ago when my ex wife started dating her next supply victim. I have been divorced 2 years. Just strange how I can’t seem to move on.
Check out Dads Surviving Divorce channel too…..his videos, from ‘16 to present, will validate & give you power to move forward….he has camping channel too showing there is happiness after these ghouls!!👺
Be and rejoice that you are no longer tethered to someone who does not have any sense of remorse ...compassion and empathy within them. You have been given a gift of freedom from such a toxic relationship. Work on loving and honoring yourself which leads to a life of joy! Let go of your story and create the life that you DO WANT
Rick
I'm in the same strangle hold from my former narcissist girlfriend of 17 yrs I pray the day will come that I'll no longer feel this grasp the toxic relationship still has on me I turned to God I'm in know way a Bible thumper I do believe I will heal love is all around us and so are mean people I always felt I was super strong man in all aspects but since she ghosted and discarded me I find it truly hard one day at a time I'm so sorry this happened to you and your kids or family God bless you stay strong
Been there! Somehow I partnered w 2 narcs, so now I’m working on why I’m attracted to them. Years of being gaslighted by a narc and emotionally beaten down changes a person. With a therapist I identified my broken and weak areas as well as my strengths. Narcissists don’t change, they only get worse. Get help and create a strategy to live your best life.
@@teresafraser3049 Profound! Thank you! For those encouraging and inspiring words. 💯🎯🙂👌👍
I always said. If you cannot live alone, you also cannot live in a relationship. This helped me a lot when and after a narcissistic relationship 🤭
The way the narc treats other people is NO indication whatsoever of how they do or will treat you. My narc was kind and nice to everyone...except, wait for it...me! This is the "public angel, private demon" syndrome.
I call it a "Jekell & Hyde" situation.
Such valuable information, thank you!
I felt soulless when I left my abusive narcissistic husband, so I dated another narcissist and got my strength back by aiming to take him down. I won the battle but I don’t recommend it. Best to just stick with your friends and heal in healthier ways.
Militant strat' there ;)
How many fearful avoident people started because of trauma from a narcissist abusive relationship?
This has made me rethink my next steps.
After break up w a narc, get counseling, map out the damage, make a plan to rebuild yourself. Develop a deep understanding of why you are attracted to narcs. Live your best life!
Attachment is the worst and you are right, it requires a lot of work.
Amen! I ignore my intuition but at the age of 19 I didn’t know that’s what it was…now at 39 I see it for what it was.
So eloquently and concisely described and explained. A perfect antidote 😊
I have had a 30 year career as a caregiver. I am so proud of that but I am also realizing that it might be a problem with intimate relations. Also a trauma bonded childhood that I have really had to think about. Too forgiving? My ex was above board chatty with all service people, asked everyone their names etc. Then became angry and sarcastic behind closed doors. Thank you for your gentle way of helping me dig through my feelings.
I love your videos and just recently stumbled upon them. You are excellent at what you do. My ex had a lot of the terrible traits we are too familiar with. Im curious if anyone else experienced the ex being overly flirty (to the point of contacting them via social media) with waitstaff, serve workers or any women in lower wage positions?
I love your way of explaining. I really can understand you. Can you talk on children who experience NPD in their parent’s marriage. I can see my children exhibiting trauma responses, especially when around him. Right now they are scared of him and I’m walking a fine line when they come to me and want to vent about him. They all feel like they are at fault and don’t trust themselves in the smallest things in life. It saddens me bc I know they learned that from me bc that’s how I survived - I was very codependent. I didn’t have my own anything. When I seek therapy for them what should I be looking for to help them sort their feelings. I know they love him but sometimes they get so angry that they say they hate him, one wishes he was dead 🥺 I didn’t know they felt such a way until he left. He talks about me to them and has been since they were little and they are tired of it but bc he is “daddy” and they will not speak up to him. Now if he ever physically abuses them then there is NO hold back but the emotional and psychological damage he does to them frustrates me. I see it but how can I get them to stand up without being seen as defiant or disrespectful. Our culture, especially the church loves to throw that around in that the man is the head and he needs respect. I just want my babies to be emotionally stable and confident. They are around me but around him one of my oldest, especially sucks up and is learning from what I see, is how to stroke his ego to not get into trouble and it drives me crazy. I tell her to be careful in holding back from him but giving me what she can’t say to him bc it’s not being honest. But how can she be honest when that is her tool to survive around him and he definitely does not listen to me at all! So I just go silent with him and strictly talk legal matters and the girls schedule. They have a GAL but how do I get them to be open and honest with him without sounding like I’m forcing my way. It’s so complicated so I don’t say anything negativity about him to them , I’m not that type of person and honestly it’s how I survived too. Bu, yea can you speak on navigation with children while divorcing a man with NPD traits? Tysm
Wow what a great post!! Dating has been difficult! Need more time to heal and work on a few more things you mentioned here! So thankful for your content!!
Great video!! Thanks for the thought provoking content
Would you be able to address covert narcissism as people age. I met a man 68 years old and he became as nasty as any young narcissistic. People his age don't use social media. What else do they do? We don't live near each other but I talked to him on the phone sometimes and I still see how disturbing he is. He's a learning experience and case study to me now
Narcissist tend to treat people in public very well so they are the good guy. so i disagree with that.
THANK YOU THIS WAS REALLY HELPFUL.👍👍
This is amazing! Really needed this
Thank you so much 😊
🙏 I wish you the best.
This is such good advice.
You keep going back to trusting our intuition. That is problematic for me, having had two narcissistic parents and being just two years out of an abusive marriage to a narcissist. How on earth can I trust my intuition?
Narcissistic relationships are DV relationships
Thank you!!
Totally true
Half the USA 🇺🇸 narcissistic dam ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Thanks
You're welcome!
It takes time, you are sick after a narc babysteps.
👍👍👍👍👍
No Thanks.
Amazing 🩷 you’ve said it all 🫶🏻