As a child of two alcoholics what Dave said is true, I tried my whole life to try to appear perfect and keep up appearances. I didn't realize that's what I was doing. I separated every part of my life. And the anxiety, high blood pressure and other health issues I have all stem from that. I couldn't trust anyone for years and kept postponing my life to wait until everything was perfect. I'm slowing unlearned this but I'm already 40 and I wasted so much time on my parents and their problems that I forgot to pay attention to me.
I think there’s no ACA mold .. there are too many variables .. the degree of codependency, whether any recovery was undertaken, support networks, level of safety, yada yada
I've got 397 days sober today. I couldn't imagine having children. In some ways I'm glad no woman has wanted to reproduce with me. I feel for this guy. I hope he has a good life.
I would have never came up with Dave's advice, it's so much better than any advice I could give. I am 29, this proves the elderly look on a whole different level. Great learning video.
Nope, dave has a bad advise, very bad one, his dad maybe a mess in his life, but the business is not, just take over and run the show, relief him from duty, a business with 40 men should not be too bad, just make money off it A good business with good structure can be run by itself with or without anyone
My father-in-law was an alcoholic, and she did exactly what Dave said. She helped him and loved him, but she decided while in college that she needed to live her own life. She moved out and lived her own life.
My mom couldn't handle her divorce well... started doing drugs and hanging out with the wrong crowd... called the cops on my bro and I several times for trying to prevent her from hanging out with drug addicts. While going to nursing school, almost got arrested and my bro was arrested because the cop sided with my mom...disturbing the peace..... I washed my hands of her at that point. Very kind of Dave... I needed someone to say "You need to be free of this.." to me at 23 and now, at 35. I'm still healing.
May those who are planning to be parents out there fix themselves first before entering parenthood or try to straighten themselves up for the sake of their children. Recognize what needs some fixing from within so you can avoid situations like this, passing the burden and trauma to our children.
Exactly. 💯💯💯 Our current society is a mess because broken men and broken women keep producing kids without fixing themselves first, they then pass on their emotional and mental trauma to their kids. And sometimes the kids will grow up to be broken adults because their broken parents are the only examples they know.
My uncle wasn't even an alcoholic, only a man-child who loved to drink with his friends every weekend, took him a couple of years to almost break the family bussines and alienate his siblings, listen to Dave, RUN.
I hope this guy takes Dave's advice. Please, please, get away from your Dad. You owe him nothing!!!!!!!! Also, alcoholism is the only disease that they can control themselves. Let your Dad grow up....
so I totally agree that he needs to move away, but my other question is if he is bedridden who is bringing in the alcohol? Especially if he's divorced from this boys, mother.
Please listen to Dave . Do you want to be sitting there at 40 years old telling the same story? I hope not. You have to do it for your own well being... Your Dad is a grown man .
My father didn’t stop drinking until he punched my uncle and put him in the hospital. He never had a pension because he was fired from every job he had. He was very critical of others but couldn’t see his own faults.
@@sustainabilitytheory5154 it took my parents approximately $80- $100k to start their pest control business and actually get decent clientele that was back in the late 80s / early 90s I imagine it cost less now with the internet and SEO marketing but itll still cost 10s of thousands to start a pest business in this modern day
Terrible advice. The business is doing well, the son may like what he does and want to take over the business someday. Yes, the father needs help, different conversation.
The guy continuing to live in the shadow of his alcoholic father will never experience the joys of life because he isn't able to live his own life. The terrible advice would be to care more about the material possessions in front of him rather than his freedom from the sins of his father.
@@jamieswanson8828 it's not his business to take. His son has no more right to take over the business as your parents, siblings or kids have the right to take over your home and kick you out.
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As a child of two alcoholics what Dave said is true, I tried my whole life to try to appear perfect and keep up appearances. I didn't realize that's what I was doing. I separated every part of my life. And the anxiety, high blood pressure and other health issues I have all stem from that. I couldn't trust anyone for years and kept postponing my life to wait until everything was perfect. I'm slowing unlearned this but I'm already 40 and I wasted so much time on my parents and their problems that I forgot to pay attention to me.
Adult children of alcoholics usually grow up to be Ultra responsible and bare the weight of the world.
ACA is a great resource!
Guilty as charged.
It can go to either extreme. It usually does not go to the middle
I think there’s no ACA mold .. there are too many variables .. the degree of codependency, whether any recovery was undertaken, support networks, level of safety, yada yada
@@amireallythatgrumpy6508 so true
I've got 397 days sober today. I couldn't imagine having children. In some ways I'm glad no woman has wanted to reproduce with me. I feel for this guy. I hope he has a good life.
Congrats! You've got this.
Congratulations on your sobriety -- keep up the good work.
Oh my goodness! You've surpassed a year! Congratulations and keep up the great work!
Proud of you 👏🏻 keep it up
Congrats!!🎉
Been there, done that. Dave is absolutely correct.
This one put me in tears because I can relate. Thank for you for your advice Dave. Wow. I wish I would have heard this advice 10 years ago. 💕
I would have never came up with Dave's advice, it's so much better than any advice I could give. I am 29, this proves the elderly look on a whole different level. Great learning video.
I don't think Dave would be thrilled that you consider him elderly! 😅🤣
Good advice from Dave as he has obviously dealt with this many times before. I just hope the kid can and will take Dave's advice.
Nope, dave has a bad advise, very bad one, his dad maybe a mess in his life, but the business is not, just take over and run the show, relief him from duty, a business with 40 men should not be too bad, just make money off it
A good business with good structure can be run by itself with or without anyone
My father-in-law was an alcoholic, and she did exactly what Dave said. She helped him and loved him, but she decided while in college that she needed to live her own life. She moved out and lived her own life.
Alcoholics will never admit they're the problem or that drinking is the problem. All you can do is walk away
Great advice dave
amen praying for him 💪🏽
So the business is running well. All it takes is one night of binge drinking and spending and 40 people don't get paid.
This is amazing advice! You can’t make people fix themselves. Guilt can kill people, like Dave says… be free of this.
My mom couldn't handle her divorce well... started doing drugs and hanging out with the wrong crowd... called the cops on my bro and I several times for trying to prevent her from hanging out with drug addicts. While going to nursing school, almost got arrested and my bro was arrested because the cop sided with my mom...disturbing the peace..... I washed my hands of her at that point. Very kind of Dave... I needed someone to say "You need to be free of this.." to me at 23 and now, at 35. I'm still healing.
May those who are planning to be parents out there fix themselves first before entering parenthood or try to straighten themselves up for the sake of their children. Recognize what needs some fixing from within so you can avoid situations like this, passing the burden and trauma to our children.
Exactly. 💯💯💯
Our current society is a mess because broken men and broken women keep producing kids without fixing themselves first, they then pass on their emotional and mental trauma to their kids. And sometimes the kids will grow up to be broken adults because their broken parents are the only examples they know.
My Aunt and Uncle are drunks. I have seen my cousin's life ruined because of drunks.
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Dave you are my Hero. Thank you for all you do 😎👍
They muted him but I just know he is was crying. That had to be so relieving to hear for him. Praying for this young man!
EVERYONE please report these spammers below who use Dave’s logo!!!
My uncle wasn't even an alcoholic, only a man-child who loved to drink with his friends every weekend, took him a couple of years to almost break the family bussines and alienate his siblings, listen to Dave, RUN.
I hope this guy takes Dave's advice. Please, please, get away from your Dad. You owe him nothing!!!!!!!!
Also, alcoholism is the only disease that they can control themselves.
Let your Dad grow up....
Bout cried on this one
"I hope I wasn't unclear" - Dave Ramsey
How do people get ahold of these guys?
I don't recall the age I was when it started But as a child. I used to babysit my alcohol father. So he wouldn't get violent with my mom.
so I totally agree that he needs to move away, but my other question is if he is bedridden who is bringing in the alcohol? Especially if he's divorced from this boys, mother.
I wish that Dave had listened to the caller, rather than prophetizing to him straight off.
Please listen to Dave .
Do you want to be sitting there at 40 years old telling the same story?
I hope not.
You have to do it for your own well being...
Your Dad is a grown man
.
My father is a alcoholic, and the most ironic part, I work in the alcohol industry lol
I have an alcoholic mother, the weight of it, I could never add a business on top of that without crumbling. Run.
My mother was an alcoholic too. Because of her, at the age of 63, I have never taken my first drink and never will.
My father didn’t stop drinking until he punched my uncle and put him in the hospital. He never had a pension because he was fired from every job he had. He was very critical of others but couldn’t see his own faults.
2:10.. Dave flexing lol
Kid needs to goto Al Anon as well.
Or ACA, which is specifically for Adult Children of Alcoholics.
Nope, cut and run
So i guess living with an alcoholic dad to save money isn't a good idea.
Please change the intro sound
Dave shouldn’t have co hosts. He talks over them every time haha
Sounds like a good business , if he leaves the dad might not pass it over to him it would be a good career to own/run a business with 40 people
If he wants he can start his own. Very low barrier to entry.
At what cost
I agree with Semo, he can start his own pest control business without much money or effort.
Good plan. Wait around and waste his life waiting for it to be passed down - and keep in mind his dad isn't even legally obligated to leave it to him.
@@sustainabilitytheory5154 it took my parents approximately $80- $100k to start their pest control business and actually get decent clientele that was back in the late 80s / early 90s
I imagine it cost less now with the internet and SEO marketing but itll still cost 10s of thousands to start a pest business in this modern day
2:18
Pest control business.
??
Terrible advice. The business is doing well, the son may like what he does and want to take over the business someday. Yes, the father needs help, different conversation.
The guy continuing to live in the shadow of his alcoholic father will never experience the joys of life because he isn't able to live his own life. The terrible advice would be to care more about the material possessions in front of him rather than his freedom from the sins of his father.
I agree. He should take over the business and tell his Dad to go to Rehab
@@jamieswanson8828 Easy to say that, not so easy to make it work.
@@jamieswanson8828 it's not his business to take. His son has no more right to take over the business as your parents, siblings or kids have the right to take over your home and kick you out.
So he's just saying give up on your family, and don't help him?
The way he talks about other people parents, it seems like he had problems as a kid.
You give up on alcoholics. You don't help them unless they want help. If they don't want help, toss them.
@@amireallythatgrumpy6508 BINGO
Exactly, you are beyond stupid Jimmy
@Jimmy, you have ZERO life experience
You can't fix someone else
✝️🙏
First
Second
Kind, solid advise, look up local alanon or ACA meetings in your area there is healing and wholeness available
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