Alcoholism - The deadly truth about its stigma | Sarah Drage | TEDxFolkestone

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  • Опубликовано: 22 дек 2024

Комментарии • 453

  • @VanessaTorres-Veetee99
    @VanessaTorres-Veetee99 3 года назад +755

    I was an alcoholic for 11 years, age 20-31 and now sober 1.5 years. When I admit it and tell people I am a recovering alcoholic they dismiss it. My family especially will try to convince me I can still drink and I was never an alcoholic. Those same people also judged me for drinking too much. I was fighting this lonely battle everyday and still fighting. I thank God for pulling me out of it. I pray for those who are fighting this battle, I pray they find the help and support to fight this.🙏🏼

    • @dmitriponomarev8002
      @dmitriponomarev8002 3 года назад +38

      You are now a recovering alcoholic. I am one being sober for 5 years now. Stay strong and great job!

    • @kolinaburton2503
      @kolinaburton2503 3 года назад +51

      I relate to this soo much. My family told me I am not an alcoholic and that I can moderate when in my reality I cant. I go through phases of not drinking but whenever the time comes to an end I slip back into my drinking habits…Which begins to slowly affect my health, my relationships, and work/personal life. Today is my 2nd day of going sober for good.

    • @VanessaTorres-Veetee99
      @VanessaTorres-Veetee99 3 года назад +14

      @@kolinaburton2503 I pray this is finally the end of drinking. I pray God sends you the support you need to help you through this time. In Jesus name.

    • @VanessaTorres-Veetee99
      @VanessaTorres-Veetee99 3 года назад +8

      @@dmitriponomarev8002 Thank you. Still sober! Thank you Lord!

    • @lindabell1039
      @lindabell1039 3 года назад +10

      Exactly what I have dealt with for years. Still drinking now. Need to stop.

  • @GinAmber
    @GinAmber 2 года назад +29

    I 8months sober and finally starting to be aware how clearly I can see and feel life

  • @Nay2395
    @Nay2395 3 года назад +136

    I am an alcoholic from across the sea. An American. This hit heavily.
    Thank you to the speaker for your bravery in addressing this heavy subject. It is a beacon of hope for someone as lost as I.
    I wish you the best.

    • @Sharon-kr1ui
      @Sharon-kr1ui Год назад +6

      God Bless you, I hope you are doing well. Your comment touched me.

  • @Kaniac47
    @Kaniac47 2 года назад +110

    I have been struggling with alcoholism and ptsd for nearly 30 years. Yesterday was 90 days sober for me and I have been grappling with morbid and depressing thoughts- the same thoughts that fueled my alcoholism for all of those years.
    I can relate to everything you said, and have empathy for your father. Thank you for making such a beautiful and eloquent video. It brought tears to my eyes and has given me some hope and acceptance. Your video helped this alcoholic stay sober today.

    • @tendyboiz1046
      @tendyboiz1046 2 года назад +6

      Let's go cheering you on

    • @bellavictor90
      @bellavictor90 2 года назад +1

      @@tendyboiz1046 idabella

    • @jaynesvijeo249
      @jaynesvijeo249 2 года назад +3

      also been struggling after a 13 year bout with alcohol. hope you are still doing ok. it is never a bad idea to keep trying for youself.

    • @Kaniac47
      @Kaniac47 2 года назад +4

      @@jaynesvijeo249 thank you. I just hit 10 months sober a few days ago. Hope you are doing ok as well.

    • @joannelarose8198
      @joannelarose8198 2 года назад +1

      @@xlkarma8446 Have you tried therapy for PTSD? I understand how trauma can cause addiction.

  • @sailorgreer
    @sailorgreer 2 года назад +89

    Alcohol-Cunning, Baffling, Powerful. I was in denial for decades. As a high performing alcoholic, no one else questioned my drinking. I didn’t drink from a brown paper bag while wearing a trench coat. I’m like 80% of alcoholics-right in your midst suffering from a cruel disease. Thankfully I got help and now have over 13 years of sobriety.

    • @Dapryor
      @Dapryor 2 года назад +1

      Congrats! I’m at 2.5 years now and watching these to scare myself like I was in early sobriety.

    • @sandalysandaly9543
      @sandalysandaly9543 Год назад +2

      I don't count the days or years, I will never drink a drop of that poison ever again

    • @gregorycarnielutube
      @gregorycarnielutube Год назад +2

      The most expensive, legal and accessible poison.

    • @Takeahnase.
      @Takeahnase. Год назад +1

      Keep going! One day at a time, brother. We trudge onward!

    • @adam_williamk8280
      @adam_williamk8280 7 месяцев назад

      Well done. Amazing!!

  • @ashsmith3695
    @ashsmith3695 3 года назад +170

    I never hid a bottle in a brown paper bag, I never wore a faded old raincoat or lived on the street. But I was an alcoholic and I’ve been a recovering alcoholic for sixteen years. The stereotypes are alive and well.

  • @YolandieJansevanRensburg
    @YolandieJansevanRensburg Год назад +58

    Your father's death was not in vain. You are doing such an amazing thing in his honour. May your message reach billions.

  • @senaax8255
    @senaax8255 Год назад +55

    My dad died due to alcohol. He was a successful doctor. He retired, divorced, my mom got so sick of it and he would hide bottles all around the house. He was the best dad tho. I am now suffering from that and struggling... Thank you

    • @senaax8255
      @senaax8255 Год назад

      Marysol is makin a joke, Leah is real...

    • @twinb1954
      @twinb1954 8 месяцев назад +2

      I am so sorry for your loss. My eldest son is an alcoholic. He is currently sober, but it’s been heartbreaking to see him go through this!

    • @kymmys9498
      @kymmys9498 5 месяцев назад +1

      MY mom was the same way she would hide bottles everywhere,MY mom also taught me how to drink,now I don't think I have to much time left.

    • @twinb1954
      @twinb1954 5 месяцев назад

      @@kymmys9498 I hope that you are getting help with your sobriety! I have been sober for approximately 37 years. It was hard in the beginning but it has gotten much easier. I still know that I cannot have even one drink. Best of luck to you! You matter!

  • @christianbarrow4846
    @christianbarrow4846 2 года назад +25

    Not being able to tell anyone one I was an alcoholic. That is the one thing that kept me in my addiction, my nightmare of a cycle or alcohol and drug abuse. I felt like I couldn’t tell anyone because they would disown me. Judge me, treat me like a criminal, a deadbeat. Now I look at my past as a blessing for other people I may be able to help.

  • @Good.London
    @Good.London 2 года назад +90

    The problem with alcohol not to mention the deadly withdrawal is that there's a dealer 10 minutes down the road in any direction you go.

    • @stellamorgan1925
      @stellamorgan1925 5 месяцев назад +2

      It makes it so hard, and you cant socialize without it being around :/

    • @Mayonnaise69
      @Mayonnaise69 5 месяцев назад +2

      I live on the corner of my street, and the absolute nearest business to my house is the liquor joint. It's hard. I've given up on buying eggs and bread cause I wasn't able to walk past the liquor store all the way to the grocery store. It's really hard.

    • @Biyou22
      @Biyou22 3 месяца назад

      DAMN that’s deep

    • @Biyou22
      @Biyou22 3 месяца назад

      And it’s LEGAL

    • @JosephSchuett
      @JosephSchuett 2 месяца назад +1

      Not too mention almost every social event or restaurant you go to it’s thrown right at your face. If you were a crack user, it’s quite easy to avoid your dealer once you decide to stop. An alcoholic is hard pressed to find a way to avoid alcohol.

  • @tracy1394
    @tracy1394 2 года назад +19

    I've been sober for almost 10 years. What you said is absolutely 100% true. I wish everyone knew this.

  • @clausforsberg6467
    @clausforsberg6467 2 года назад +10

    I am an alcoholic, and I'm figthing to be sober. Still haven't figured out yet.
    But thanks for this amazing video, it made me feel understand for a moment

  • @AbbyS.Pumpkins
    @AbbyS.Pumpkins 2 года назад +56

    Thank you for this. It’s so true. My heart goes out to you. My husband is the sweetest, smartest, compassionate, loyal, hard-working, high-functioning man I’ve ever known (besides my own dad), but he’s an alcoholic. He has FINALLY suffered life threatening consequences of his alcohol use that landed him in the hospital on 5/26/22. He had a Mallory-Weiss tear which caused intestinal bleeding and the vomiting of large amounts of blood. He was jaundiced on top of it, very weak, and very tired. They found out he had/has alcoholic hepatitis and possibly cirrhosis, but we won’t know for about 6 months as his liver is too inflamed to see the damage just yet. He’s done so well with withdrawal and now he’s getting physical rehab therapy to get stronger after 8 days in ICU and another week in general medical. He’s doing so well and he’s committed to abstaining from alcohol. I’m committed to abstinence as well. I wasn’t a big drinker to begin with since hangovers kill me. But I will do anything to help him. To everyone out there reading this, please be advised about how dangerous alcohol can be. It’s too easily available and it’s one of the most fatal drugs on this planet. Please be careful and learn to recognize the signs of someone with potential alcoholic liver disease so you can ask them if they need help. One of the signs I learned about (a bit too late) were my husband’s bright red palms! He tried to tell me it was from typing on his keyboard for work (he works in IT). I believed him, but I later found out it’s a sign of liver disease. Now that he’s getting medical care, his palms are no longer red. He’s 15 days without alcohol and he’s got a new outlook on life. He’s been drinking way too much for 20+ years. He’s 40 years old, but this whole crisis might’ve actually saved his life if we can get his liver to heal by removing alcohol permanently and changing our diets/increasing our activity. My condolences to anyone who’s lost a family member to alcohol. ♥️

    • @stevesonnier5146
      @stevesonnier5146 2 года назад +4

      Goodness. My condolences and respect, too.

    • @AbbyS.Pumpkins
      @AbbyS.Pumpkins 2 года назад +6

      @@stevesonnier5146 Thanks Steve. My hubs is 2 months without alcohol today! 🎉🥳

    • @David-qk7lc
      @David-qk7lc 2 года назад +2

      Reading this made me tear up because my Sister has been in icu for weeks and its just up to hur now to fight feel so helpless horrible disease 😢

    • @gabriellakelly_
      @gabriellakelly_ 2 года назад +4

      This makes me sob reading this, I know how hard this is as a daughter of an alcoholic and also an alcoholic herself. Bless his heart & body, I pray that his body strengthens and he recovers with ease and grace. Hugs n love ♥️

    • @AbbyS.Pumpkins
      @AbbyS.Pumpkins 2 года назад +2

      @@David-qk7lc I’m sorry to hear about your sister. I hope she can turn it around. It really is a horrific disease. Just like someone with cancer, an alcoholic needs help. But once they’ve been treated for physical withdrawal, they’ve got to be able to stay away from it. There are a lot of good souls out there struggling with alcoholism and other addictions. The last 5 years have been extremely hard on a lot of people. I wish your sister all the best. 🙏🏼♥️

  • @stevekozle7247
    @stevekozle7247 Год назад +16

    I’m an alcoholic, a dad, has a family who loves me and my name is Steve. The only difference here is that I stopped *just* before I died. I was a severe drinker - 24/7, vodka straight from the bottle, food was of no interest. I love sobriety these years and one good reason I finally quit for good is that I came to understand, after my last encounter with acute alcohol withdrawals, delirium tremendous and hallucinations, that if I am ever to drink again I will die. There is no doubt in my mind. None. I touched death, I was so close to it the last time. So I continue to live a sober life.
    Thank you for this talk, it so easily could have been me. I’m very moved by what you said.

    • @vixter28
      @vixter28 4 месяца назад +2

      🙏🙏🙏
      God bless your sobriety!
      My ex-husband died from alcoholism. It was very sad to see him destroy himself. He also drank vodka.

  • @CG-fy9jz
    @CG-fy9jz 3 года назад +37

    Great talk. I am an alcoholic in the UK and I am currently getting treatment. Because I don't fit the profile of a stereotypical alcoholic my partner did not believe I was addicted and thought I can just stop. I decided I needed treatment and done it anyway, I am so pleased I did. Bless your father. X

  • @shelbywilliams1603
    @shelbywilliams1603 2 года назад +70

    This is so true. I have struggled w alcohol and have family members who still judge me even though I’m in recovery, meanwhile, they are overweight and addicted to junk food. It doesn’t make sense.

    • @realmoney4045
      @realmoney4045 2 года назад +1

      😂🤔

    • @thespartann7925
      @thespartann7925 2 года назад +4

      You are amazing, keep it up

    • @Daiseehead
      @Daiseehead 2 года назад +5

      Im married to an alcoholic, and my friends get frustrated because I keep “putting up with this.” They ask me how long will I allow this to happen. I’m addicted to unhealthy foods, and that is the only way I can relate to alcoholism. I don’t want this addiction, but it has definitely allowed me to have compassion for my husband, who is a wonderful man.

    • @vw5056
      @vw5056 2 года назад

      @@Daiseehead try keto

    • @OnionGirlDenver
      @OnionGirlDenver 2 года назад +1

      They’re judging you for alcoholism and you’re judging them for what they eat and weigh. Seems like an equal exchange

  • @LaTishaPegram
    @LaTishaPegram 3 года назад +23

    I appreciate this talk so much. I needed to hear this as an encouragement to continue advocating for my own father who is an alcoholic. I have the same story and this has renewed my commitment to keep encouraging him to seek professional/clinical help to beat this. He has so much to live for.

  • @mcrib8330
    @mcrib8330 2 года назад +11

    I needed this...thank you, I have felt alone in my struggle with alcohol. Much of society brushes it off. I have always been felt I am just too weak and insignificant to care about. I have separated myself from relationships for too long because I never wanted anyone to see my weaknesses. I need help, and need to be strong enough to take it. I think being honest with yourself is the 1st step

  • @thatguycraig2054
    @thatguycraig2054 2 года назад +35

    I’m an alcoholic who in the next 3-4 weeks should be in residential detox (God willing). This video and others like it really help. Thank you

    • @Steven-le5oc
      @Steven-le5oc 3 месяца назад

      I hope you’re doing well my friend

  • @OnionGirlDenver
    @OnionGirlDenver 2 года назад +4

    Sober alcoholic here, going to write about this video for a class.
    For a lot of my drinking career I knew there was a problem but was far too ashamed to discuss it. Thanks for the talk!

  • @scottfisher5303
    @scottfisher5303 Год назад +4

    Such a beautiful story that explains stigma in such a sad but eye opening way! I’m 1 year sober. And my journey is to stop the stigma towards alcoholism and help more people suffering survive.

  • @natnat8442
    @natnat8442 3 года назад +23

    Amazing well done Sarah!
    So many are blind and quick to judge thank you for speaking out.

  • @danlandry4723
    @danlandry4723 3 года назад +5

    I watched this today which happened to be the 4 year mark of your fathers passing. RIP. Thank you for sharing.

  • @redcroft308
    @redcroft308 8 месяцев назад +3

    The worst thing I ever heard was that "if you had any shame you'd just stop drinking". I am filled with shame, wracked with it. The lack of understanding, the idea that i somehow deserved it. That i deserved to be near death and in such a miserable state. That hurt, that wound, was worse than anything that drove me to drink in the first place.

  • @CJC92
    @CJC92 2 года назад +5

    Great video. 👍 I am dependent, I did 7 months sober, then drank for a month then seeked help again and am now over 1 month sober again. Sorry for your loss x

  • @colleenhavenga1887
    @colleenhavenga1887 2 года назад +5

    44 years of my life, my dad is slowly killing himself. I'm in tears that video I just heard, is exactly how things are, it's to the T, we have spoken to my dad given him support, he has 5 grandchildren, hopefully he'll see them grow up. But his alcohol has got the best of him. We preparing ourselves for that unexpected , not waking up in the future morning, it's breaking me down, we can't tell anyone that the cause is alcohol, we pray everyday that he will stop, his only 68 years old.

  • @christianbarrow4846
    @christianbarrow4846 2 года назад +8

    I sought help from doctors and psychiatrists, I took medication, I went to anyone medically inclined to help. It didn’t work. It’s not a medical problem. It’s a spiritual problem. Medicine can help. But the medical community doesn’t know how to fix us. AA saved my life. It’s a spiritual disease as much as a medical one.
    I appreciate what she is saying.

  • @brockgrimes3477
    @brockgrimes3477 2 года назад +12

    Im drinking a beer while watching this… i know i need to change and it’s why I’m here.

    • @Hinokuzi
      @Hinokuzi 10 месяцев назад +2

      Change for the better

  • @judithmunyoki1073
    @judithmunyoki1073 2 года назад +5

    I relate to this so much, May God give us the grace to keep fighting and start Living. Amen.

  • @jaym6466
    @jaym6466 2 года назад +11

    "Have you ever stereotyped an alcoholic- me:"yes" and just now admitting I'm an alcoholic. Speaks strong.

  • @MichaelWalsh-qn3ef
    @MichaelWalsh-qn3ef 19 дней назад

    Best thing I have heard for a very very long time.😌
    You just know this young ladies Dad would have been so so proud.
    Well done sarah really. x
    R.I.P.

  • @damianlopez7630
    @damianlopez7630 2 года назад +2

    It's Okay to Cry...You Are a Brave Beautiful Sweet Woman. Thank You for Sharing.

  • @stevendiaz619
    @stevendiaz619 2 года назад +11

    I'm an alcoholic and I decided this month that I am done with it. I want to be around in the future for my kids.

    • @ssgtrom9739
      @ssgtrom9739 Год назад

      The hard part is after you “recover” … stay strong Steve

  • @brianmccabe8554
    @brianmccabe8554 2 года назад +5

    I discovered how mentally messed up I am after my relapse a year ago, I had 8 years of sobriety prior, I’m doing my best everyday

  • @stargazer1359
    @stargazer1359 2 года назад +16

    After 25+ years, I sought help for the 'New Year'. An online program with 12 hours a week of group and individual therapy. The women in the group are bright, talented, warm and engaging...caring souls. They come from a trauma background, family violence & abuse as children. At 57, I am the oldest in the group and I'm so glad for these ladies that they are seeking help earlier than I did. Sad that this gentleman felt he could not get help.

    • @NDGGUY
      @NDGGUY 2 года назад +2

      I got sober at 58. Now 2+ years. I applaud your courage. I’m rooting for you !

    • @jimburke3664
      @jimburke3664 2 года назад +1

      Do you mind providing the name of this program? I work in a treatment facility and maybe I could refer a client to these ladies.

    • @stargazer1359
      @stargazer1359 2 года назад

      @@jimburke3664 Hi Jim....Lionrock Recovery is open to all. I'm still sober ....next month it's one year. I really could only do an online recovery and this really worked out well for me. I know it has worked for others when other programs have failed. It takes several months but well worth the time.

  • @dannymcintyre3819
    @dannymcintyre3819 3 года назад +4

    Condolences to you Sarah on the loss of your father. Your talk was very astute and insightful and will help many, many countless people around the world who hear it. Thank you.

  • @sarahkempen3809
    @sarahkempen3809 3 года назад +7

    Thank you for sharing your story Sarah, extremely brave and I am so sorry to hear you lost your dad. I identified with so much you spoke about I sadly lost my dad August 2011 to alcohol addiction and only now am I learning to speak about it as like you it wasn’t spoken about and not to tell anyone it was a secret for years. I was also worried if I told people it was alcohol that killed him that he would be judged and stereotyped and as you say they are so much more than the disease. There needs to be so much more help for those suffering and also less judgement from society towards those suffering so they feel able to seek help. X

  • @zacharysherry2910
    @zacharysherry2910 2 года назад +3

    absolutely the most accurate presentation on alcohol that I've ever heard. I've been trying to say this my whole whole life. I'm sure to lose my life soon from drinking andI don't know a single person to share my learned knowledge with.
    1) alcohol is far far more addictive than non-alcohol abusive people think
    2) you are far from the person you were before after you drink. It doesn't magnify your personality. (That may be the most ridiculous assumption about alcohol).
    3) you don't come come back usually... Unfortunately the alcohol tends to get you before your brain is ready to accept death.
    My takeaways but chances are you'll leave it rather than take it unfortunately. Truth hurts but alcohol does more.

  • @jocelynRO14
    @jocelynRO14 Год назад +4

    I am only 23 years old and I suffer with alcoholism. I swear every morning I tell myself I want to stop but at night I feel that I need it. I want to stop but it so hard because at the same time it’s the only thing that brings me happiness and relief from the outside world. I don’t understand why I need it tbh but my body demands it. It’s a constant cycle and I really wish it would stop I just don’t know how to stop it when it’s the only thing that gives me a reason to stay alive everyday as horrible as that sounds it’s true.

    • @Julie-ji3nj
      @Julie-ji3nj 8 месяцев назад +1

      You’re my son’s age. As a mother my heart aches for you… whatever underlying issues drive you to numb them. Please, I beg you, reach out for professional support. It’s everywhere and it probably will save your precious life. You don’t want to continue this another 20 years. I know of what I speak. From Ashburn, VA (USA), with love!

  • @ranifernando6565
    @ranifernando6565 Год назад +1

    I was drinking for 40 years. Still struggling to stop. But this speach opened up a new pathway, to stop this Alcoholism. New realized the its stigma and how it changed my personality from normal to a kings personality, which I never had. The malfunction of my brain functioning. Hope to stop drinking with this realization after hearing this talk. I felt, this is my story, she is talking about. I don't want to end my story, as Sarah's fathers. Thanks Sarah. God bless your mission.

    • @donovanvaz3289
      @donovanvaz3289 Год назад

      How have things progressed 4 months later?

  • @mcjoedobird
    @mcjoedobird 2 года назад +1

    Very powerful talk about the truth. I want to help change that in my area and will. Thanks and very sorry for your loss.

  • @c.fanger5083
    @c.fanger5083 2 года назад +9

    I'm adopted by a wonderful family who drinks quite a bit but always control themselves and have never struggled with addiction. I've struggled with alcohol addiction for 16 years. A few months ago I learned of my biological father and siblings, and it turns out they all struggle with alcoholism also. There has to be a genetic aspect to alcoholism.

  • @gouni-maemontgomery8428
    @gouni-maemontgomery8428 3 года назад +15

    Both you and your dad are helping to erase the stigma of alcoholism with this talk. Know that it lands and will continue to do so.

  • @Urfavlils257
    @Urfavlils257 2 года назад +2

    I really do appreciate this video and I am very sorry for your loss. I also lost my Dad who died due to car accident by implementing his own suicide. My Dad was an amazing man and a father, son and uncle. People do drink for various reasons and in my Dad's case was a narc abuse from my mother. I saw him suffering and in pain and feeling hopeless about her personality disorder. He would drink himself to numb the pain. The words can not describe what I was experiencing as a child. The point that I would like to make is that we as a society are responsible for this stigma and needs to be fight against it. My heart goes to everyone who experienced this disorder.

  • @lazarusblackwell6988
    @lazarusblackwell6988 10 месяцев назад +1

    I have a gift for writing and that talent keeps me away from trouble.
    It keeps my spirit high.
    Both my father and stepfather were drunks that didnt give two shits about their family.
    People dismiss alcoholism like its something harmless but it destroys everything.

  • @jessicalunn9583
    @jessicalunn9583 2 года назад +3

    This was beautiful my dad was an alcoholic whose beat the disease and I’m currently struggling from it thank you for helping my situation feel normal ❤️

    • @gregorycarnielutube
      @gregorycarnielutube Год назад +1

      Jessica, there is no normal. I hope you’re having a good sober day. :)

  • @marie2670
    @marie2670 9 месяцев назад +1

    This is a horrible disease destroying many. These videos help me tremendously when I am at the end of my rope with my alcoholic husband. It never gets better

  • @brieschurr3900
    @brieschurr3900 2 года назад +6

    To your question...yes. And, I am an alcoholic myself...only 24 days sober. I am now faced with treatment, DCF, etc...My dependency on alcohol was slow. Don't think it won't happen to you. I have been lucky enough to not have withdraw symptoms. My husband is a heavy drinking alcoholic with liver issues and type 1 diabetes. I know he won't get help. Even though we might lose our kids if he doesn't stop.

  • @springlocale7135
    @springlocale7135 2 года назад +7

    So clear message. Today was the last day at a detox camp. Still I fear what if I relapse. Please pray for me.

  • @thesoberanglican9987
    @thesoberanglican9987 3 года назад +3

    Very powerful and moving.I so agree with you. Keep going.Let’s all get better at undoing alcohol harm.

  • @Mary-rr1jm
    @Mary-rr1jm Год назад +1

    Thank you for this talk & spreading awareness.Sorry for your loss.xx

  • @reyfairburn5023
    @reyfairburn5023 2 года назад +4

    It's hard to have compassion for the man who was abusive to my family for years. He chose alcohol over his family. I have compassion for others struggling with alcoholism but not my father. He used it as a tool to abuse us and refused treatment

  • @camryny7942a
    @camryny7942a Год назад

    My partner had been hiding it from me and I didn’t find out till well into our relationship that it was a problem.. I’m trying to be supportive and understand his journey a little more..
    At the same time, he had all this support from his groups and both of our family’s.
    Yet I have nobody to helping/supporting me through this.. I needed to hear this Ted talk.

  • @deepsmoosh810
    @deepsmoosh810 Год назад +2

    I know its killing me, i can feel it, every night with randomness, every morning with a sickness. And how my body is responding to it in my mid 30's. Its not fun i can tell you that. But its such a flip side of a coin. It numbs the pain of the day during the night before but in the morning you are sick and have to re live it again. An endless cycle of sickness, suffering, anf misery.

    • @Kelly-fo1rj
      @Kelly-fo1rj Год назад +1

      You're not alone. Your comment hit me hard....never ending cycle 😢

  • @drunkdonkey1009
    @drunkdonkey1009 3 года назад +41

    For me, AA was absolutely useless, what worked was meditation and learning to quiet my mind, along with running and working out.

    • @victoroliveira2279
      @victoroliveira2279 2 года назад +3

      You were a problem drinker not an alcoholic, real alcoholics don't even have the strength to clean their house let alone run and work out

    • @sugashakeshakeshake852
      @sugashakeshakeshake852 2 года назад +7

      @@victoroliveira2279 I’m a heavy drinker…my worst was 4 litres of vodka in 2 days but most binges are like 7 to 11 days drinking at least a litre of vodka each day but then I won’t drink for 6 weeks and live super healthy, exercising every day and cooking fresh balanced meals. I’ve had shocking withdrawals the days after I’ve stopped binging. Keep relapsing and cost me a lot, friendships, relationships, jobs, flats. It’s bloody depressing.

    • @Artman1
      @Artman1 2 года назад +7

      @@victoroliveira2279 You only have to drink one drink a day to start a psychological addiction. You're just playing word games.

    • @victoroliveira2279
      @victoroliveira2279 2 года назад

      @@sugashakeshakeshake852 It's a progressive disease don't play with it.
      Alcohol is a hardcore drug and withdrawing from it can kill you.

    • @Benyikoko
      @Benyikoko 2 года назад

      @@sugashakeshakeshake852 yup.. that's me. I've been to rehab many times and it just doesn't work

  • @aaronk8440
    @aaronk8440 2 года назад +10

    I’ve been an alcoholic since I was 12. Over 23 years now. My dad died slowly over 4 years of lymphoma and the night of his funeral I drank a half a bottle of scotch that was in his liquor cabinet. I’m not saying that my dads death was solely responsible for where I am now. I’m simply saying that life can get in the way. I’m lucky I’ve got a wife who loves me and can see past my addiction.

  • @anandadaquino3604
    @anandadaquino3604 2 года назад +10

    Answering your question: Yes! I have stereotyped alcoholics. And because of that, it took me some time to seek help.
    I'm sober since 9th of August, 2021 ♥️
    Never been homeless, never fit any stereotype. Being a Brazilian woman partying was my excuse.
    Edit: My das was also an alcoholic, he passed away yesterday.
    My dad died at the age of 66y old. The expectage of life where I live is, for a man like him, 77 y old.
    The man people called Brito (his last name) was a hard working man, a good provider, a kind soul, and eventually he became a drunk.
    The man I called dad was nothing but love. At some point of his life he was curious about being sober, and I shared my experience with him, but he never seeked help, if he seeked, I wasn't aware.
    The society condeemed his acts when drunk, but also enabled him. I'm not saying he was innocent, but for me, he was just my dad. The man who loved me more than anything, and I love him back, always will.

    • @VickieEB
      @VickieEB 6 месяцев назад +1

      Hey, I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you feel well today ❤

  • @szlvid6
    @szlvid6 7 месяцев назад

    Thank you to all who have shared their life experience! Social judgement is so destructive! Love and support is the only answer! Never give up! We all have the potential to change!🌱

  • @crosstolerance
    @crosstolerance 2 года назад +3

    An alcoholic is not seeking for acceptance but living a life that was predetermined by childhood. I love to indulge in alcohol because it eases the hardship of life itself. Maybe I forgot how to live a sober life or whether alcohol cleanses my emotions, either way we all have coping mechanisms that define how we navigate through it. My dad was an alcoholic and smoker for most of his life and he managed to clean himself up. Having a structured life does not mean the tendency to succumb to alcohol is less likely a factor. On the contrary, the more your push way the need for alcohol, the greater force it comes back. What you need is a REPLACEMENT for alcohol. Something that distracts you and puts your focus on something more productive and rewarding. I hope all the best for you!

    • @vw5056
      @vw5056 2 года назад +1

      Exactly. Pick up a sport or hobby. It's not that hard. People are just lazy with little will power.

  • @fruitgummi9084
    @fruitgummi9084 2 года назад +1

    My boyfriend is suffering from AUD… It’s gotten worse, and it’s harder because we’re long distance. I’ve been more easily agitated- and I haven’t been able to talk to him because he’s too drunk to text me back a lot of the time. I want to help him. I want to be a comfort to him. Thank you for this. I don’t think I’ve been the best girlfriend- I’ve been misinformed on alcoholism severely. Thank you.

    • @tb.bandzz5246
      @tb.bandzz5246 2 года назад +1

      as a boyfriend who was in the same situation as yours, please give it time and dont give up, he will only be able to quit when HE wants to. you cant force him. dont give up on him

    • @fruitgummi9084
      @fruitgummi9084 2 года назад

      @@tb.bandzz5246 I was asking for a sign today because It’s been hard and I’m trying to find every reason to keep going still, and then you replied. Im gonna take this as a sign to keep going.
      Stranger, is there any way I can help him from here? What did you need whenever you were drunk? Do you have any advice on what I can say to him or do?

  • @samuelhumphrey5908
    @samuelhumphrey5908 Год назад

    Thankyou. What a wonderful thoughtful insightful talk. ❤

  • @madeinashford9065
    @madeinashford9065 3 года назад +4

    Thank you for sharing. A really well delivered talk.

  • @onplanetx1711
    @onplanetx1711 2 года назад +1

    Wonderful talk, thank you so much! The stigma is still as strong and I too find myself avoiding health care because of fears of being seen as a weak nuisance. Most people still hold this belief, myself included at times. I wonder if future generations will be able to handle this better and I am unsure how it all will end for me, a person with alcohol use disorder.
    I am much opener and more outspoken than your father was, all my friends and family know, but I still do not truly get my needs met or any meaningful way of help. At best, I get accepted for being broken, which is definitely more than your dad received, so the awareness is increasing, however slow and reluctant it may be. I also have enablers around me and they refuse to accept having any part in my condition, they are also not interested in family therapy, just a wall of non-help, really. So I wonder: how am I supposed to achieve sobriety this way? I really cannot, I feel.

  • @publichazardalternative
    @publichazardalternative 9 месяцев назад

    I couldn't get two minutes into rhis without tearing up prayer for you dad

  • @Twig_ccj
    @Twig_ccj 21 день назад

    My dad is alcoholic ever since I was born (15 years) and he drinks as a stress relief. My mom keeps on shaming him for it, and I just get so mad. I want to help him but he tells me not to worry. And he has told me he wants to stop and has tried to stop but couldn’t. I can’t stop worrying, I refuse to ignore my dad’s mental and physical help, but my dad has to want to change more than I want him to. I told him I want him to stop drinking and taking us out to stores for fun and waste money and just to spend time with us. But he just doesn’t have the time and energy. He works a lot and my mom isn’t very compassionate about him as she thinks she works harder than him (they both work hard) I just don’t know

  • @ashleyodell3778
    @ashleyodell3778 8 месяцев назад +11

    I started drinking when I was 12, tried to quit around age 22 and couldn't. I battled the urges and giving in for 10 years until I gave my life to Jesus. Been sober ever since with not one craving. About 7 years now. All glory to God.

  • @samuelslater4145
    @samuelslater4145 10 месяцев назад +21

    The day I stopped drinking was the day I broke the spirit of alcoholism in the name of Jesus the Son of God, the King of the Universe and commanded it to be GONE. I tried literally EVERYTHING else, including AA, which I still attend. But without the power of the Son of God, I was never, ever able to heal. I feel like someone needs to hear this.

    • @khosrow
      @khosrow Месяц назад

      There is no place in heaven for drinkers like you.

    • @fritzbaden8085
      @fritzbaden8085 Месяц назад +1

      Did you try ibogaine treatment?

  • @lb9359
    @lb9359 3 года назад +12

    Very moving Sarah, thank you - my dad was one too, but no one ever spoke about it xx

    • @murielleleblanc1337
      @murielleleblanc1337 2 месяца назад

      There is a program you can attend it’s called Al Anon

  • @ozielich
    @ozielich Год назад

    Beautiful homage to Steve, Sarah. Thank you for posting.

  • @briandeenihan8764
    @briandeenihan8764 2 года назад

    You are the most amazing person and got so much out of this.

  • @christyclery6084
    @christyclery6084 3 года назад +3

    really good way of going against the stigma, great talk

  • @tt_coaching
    @tt_coaching Год назад +1

    Still a very beautiful and relevant ted talk Sarah. Well done ❤

  • @lorraineanne7821
    @lorraineanne7821 8 месяцев назад

    My mother and myself were in the fellowship thank you for your friendship and example.. I was a high functioning until I couldn’t function this disease kills ❤

  • @MenwithPurpose2012
    @MenwithPurpose2012 3 года назад +2

    Quite informative and powerful. Thanks for sharing this.

  • @sylviacarlson3561
    @sylviacarlson3561 2 года назад +8

    Thank you for this thoughtful speech. God Bless and rest your Dad. My Father was an alcoholic. He was also a World War II vet. After my Sister and I saw the movie, "Saving Private Ryan, " my Sister said, "No wonder Dad drank!" He saw horrors I will never witness. He died 5 days before his 68th birthday. He had quit drinking 11 years before he died, but by that time his organs were shot. I love him immensely and miss him to this day. By the way, he also refused to get help. Why wouldn't he go to AA? He said, "I'm not like those people." I'm sure AA has people from all walks of life. Nonetheless, he couldn't bring himself to go.

  • @DavidStarrUSA
    @DavidStarrUSA 5 месяцев назад

    Right now. I'm hollow. I lost one boyfriend to alcohol in 2021. Now my new boyfriend is on his way to meet my old boyfriend. I quit drinking myself in 2019. And I'm besides myself in grief, grief for my lost love, for my new love, and for getting myself entangled in this mess. I feel lost and alone. 😢

  • @jenniferredding3381
    @jenniferredding3381 6 месяцев назад

    Well done! You are absolutely right!

  • @maddiefides4163
    @maddiefides4163 3 года назад +4

    Such an amazing talk, well done Sarah x

  • @jacquelinehunt7794
    @jacquelinehunt7794 Год назад

    I don’t like admitting my sister was an alcoholic I want her to be remembered as the lovely kind clean and organised person she really was.

  • @vilhelmhammershoi3871
    @vilhelmhammershoi3871 Год назад

    Sarah, I am so moved by your account of your father's disease. I struggle with it and also with the stigma, judgement and most of all the shame one feels towards one's self and the shame placed upon one by others. Am doing the Sinclair Method with success so far (2 months in). Still an up hill battle... But thanks for understanding and for sharing. May you continue to help others to be compassionate and understanding towards those who deal with this disease.

  • @ArmandoLuis1318
    @ArmandoLuis1318 2 года назад +3

    I'm struggling with depression alcoholism and diabetes sucks..

  • @robbiebirt5738
    @robbiebirt5738 2 года назад +1

    Also an alcoholic has a different reaction to other heavy drinkers. Some people who drink heavy are still not alcoholics and that's why they can function and carry on with their drinking. An alcoholic has an urge and a reaction to alcohol that goes way beyond the norm of much of society. So it's not the same thing for others. As it is for the alcoholic. You are a beautiful person and daughter for this btw. So gracefully and intelligently spoken. Your dad would be proud. Thanks for trying to educate people because you're spot on. It needs to be treated as a disease. Not punished as a moral judgement. Fact is that I am not a functional alcoholic. I'm a very non functional alcoholic. That's why I'm homeless too now. Still I can't seem to stop. Lost my wife. Access to my son. Well, because of the sheer distance between us. 15,000 miles. Lost my job. Everything. All gone. Yet just now I'm trying to get into rehab. I get that there are different types of alcoholics. But yeah, I did control it once. For quite a fair few years. I just lost control of it and how it affects me and yeah, I definitely cannot function when I'm drinking. So even other alcoholics judge me. Coz it sends me crazy. You'd think I could stop because of how I become when I drink more easily in fact. But it's still a huge struggle and seems impossible. I didn't always drink like this. But I do now. Fact is, it stops me feeling anxiety. Even though it always goes too far and becomes too much for me. It still helps in some way. And yet I have no other alternative to treat that anxiety. Because I can't get anti anxiety medication and even the anti depressants I found that help my anxiety they are trying to prevent me having because I also take anti psychotic medication which can cause long term negative side affects mixed with SSRIs. So yeah, I just gotta face this anxiety now. No other choice. The alcohol will be the death of me if I don't. There's stigma for all sorts of reasons in society. Stigma is a problem for many different reasons. It isn't helping. It is making things worse, that is right. It prevents people getting better. And all the while, we are told we must but denied treatment because of stigma by the very same people treating it, even. It's absurd.

  • @codybramble6997
    @codybramble6997 11 месяцев назад +2

    I stereotyped up until I became one. I'll never do it again.

  • @LL-eb7bn
    @LL-eb7bn Год назад

    Love this. Really spoke to me.

  • @KingPurcival
    @KingPurcival 2 года назад +1

    Thank you. This was amazing.

  • @dannyduke3847
    @dannyduke3847 2 года назад +4

    Alcohol is a a f*****g joke I’ve been been drinking since I was 16 I’m now 26 and can’t stop

  • @sarahkraft1252
    @sarahkraft1252 Год назад

    Thank you. I needed this video.

  • @questingforsuccess
    @questingforsuccess Год назад +1

    It is informative from the affected point of view. You saw your Dad go through real stigma

  • @adrianhernandez1704
    @adrianhernandez1704 Год назад

    My name Is Adrian Hernandez I'm almost on a week long binge my thought process is all screwed up from the alcohol I'm confused at times and this story among many other's that I've watch hits so hard cause I'm afraid to seek the help I'm desperately need

  • @blqzingfire
    @blqzingfire 10 месяцев назад

    What do you do if you have tried to help an alcoholic giving them treatments and tried to give the all the support and resources, but they still drink and blame us for “still not helping enough” when we have tried our best. But they still drink. Any suggestions

  • @junesilvermanb2979
    @junesilvermanb2979 2 года назад +4

    Apples, ripe apples, we'll pick from the trees,
    But cider - no cider for us, if you please.
    Grapes, purple grapes, for your eating and mine,
    But we'll turn down our glasses where pours the red wine.
    Barley, fresh barley, we'll welcome as bread,
    But when made into beer it is poison instead.
    We'll enjoy all the good things God maketh to grow,
    When men change them to poisons, we'll bravely say, "No."

  • @reneetubeaddict9757
    @reneetubeaddict9757 2 года назад +7

    I’m the same daughter… but for (I now know) the same reasons followed his steps… I’m drunk as I write this and still don’t know how to help myself… my apologies for dropping this. I don’t dare commit myself in fear of what people will say… I don’t even know why I write this. I suffer immensely and try to hide it. FYI I’m a functioning alcoholic. But the functioning is becoming less and less… that’s all from me.

  • @anchalchaudhary5040
    @anchalchaudhary5040 Год назад +1

    being alcoholic is a disease but this needs to be understood well by complete family. Family support is most needed to come out of it.But in most of the cases family plays blame games and they loose the person

  • @JamieWex
    @JamieWex Год назад

    No one gets the shame. When you start admitting your problem, and that you’re sorry, but you’re intoxicated at that moment, but wanna get better, you’re bombarded with scolds…it sucks

  • @tylercarnes9344
    @tylercarnes9344 Год назад

    Hi my name is Ty and I’m an alcoholic. Been through detox and treatment 3 times. 29 years old. It’s a struggle. And the stigma is absolutely a huge deal. Just stop, I don’t understand why your like this, feeling ashamed the list goes on. Coming from a family who love to drink, it’s hard to get support because of the stigma. Asking for help is not a weakness as we all know, it’s showing our strength, the stigma behind it is the truth, alcoholism is deadly and to others it’s just a laugh and ignore it type of thing. But it’s just alcohol right? Alcoholism is real! Recovery is real! And support is more than needed from loved ones. Can’t belittle us for a disease. Hope everyone a safe and healthy recovery! Serenity prayer with all of us ❤️🙏🙏

  • @SusanMarie-h
    @SusanMarie-h 2 месяца назад

    I have so many people say they just stopped on their own and survived. I am so confused!

  • @steve002025
    @steve002025 2 года назад +2

    AA works for many alcoholics. It's a pity that so many places want to use untried methods to allow the alcoholic to recover. For a long time alcoholics were considered hopeless. This does not have to be the case . There is hope

  • @Scatter23
    @Scatter23 2 года назад

    Thank you for your story

  • @thebeauandgraciechannel6218
    @thebeauandgraciechannel6218 3 года назад +1

    You are amazing this talk may have saved me x

  • @brettmitchell8014
    @brettmitchell8014 Год назад +1

    I've been saying for years that alcohol is a dangerous drug.