Yep!! Soft vulnerability doesn't always get understanding. Some ppl are just sooo emotionally immature to handle any kind of conversation that requires them to self reflect w empathy and understanding
I've tried this and it always gets so much more worse. We been at war for 8 yrs now, I'am now a shell of who I once was forever morning my past and coping with my mistakes and losses. Everyday I'm stuck in my head reminiscing about what my life use to be and where I could've been if I didn't settle for this relationship 😢😭😭😭😭😭
It’s never too late to start over, be corageous and fight for the life you want. You still have life you still have time, what you don’t have is courage .
Even if I try to be vunerable he won't get it like if I say something that is hurting me he is always like "ofc it's my mistake all the time" in a rude tone . One time I said to him that after coming home from such a long day talk to me instead of using Instagram I had been waiting for him for such a long time to talk . The things he said just shattered my heart he said something like "If u want to find tiny tiny reasons to get angry and argue" "I don't want to calm u down" . It doesn't matter how I tell him either being vunerable or by getting angry I have tried both ways he is too immature to handle it and considering my feelings n he says"i love u a lot".😅
The best thing is to not respond when your in that amped up state and to walk away before you say something you don’t mean, figure out exactly why your mad and talk to her in that same tone and say how they hurt you. Then set the boundary and say that you refuse to be treated that way and to never do that again. If they intentionally cross it again then leave
It’s easy to leave till she starts stocking you. Saying you hit her when she hit herself. Men and women both do this ugly stuff and it’s honestly quite scary. Not even toxic just psychotic
Nope not at all true! My man just gets pissed off and starts screaming at me. I can be so super sweet and say “Babe, I know you didn’t mean to hurt me but what you said really hurt my feelings. Can we please talk about it.” And he will fly into a complete rage.
Thats all you need to know then, is it not? As a guy, I say if your guy isn't able to self reflect, you're making the choice to ignore the hell out of that bright red flag....or you take action
I think most of this advice pertains to healthy relationships. So a lot of people in this comment section are completely missing the point. Your significant other shouldn’t be constantly interrupting you, they shouldn’t never take accountability, and they shouldn’t ignore you or give you silent treatment. Those are all signs and habits of an emotional immature individual. An adult that’s emotionally mature should be able to take some space and properly address the conflict! If you’re having conflicts that are spanning out days and sometimes even weeks, that is really bad. That’s a clear sign that that relationship is abusive, unhealthy or straight up toxic. There’s no situation where it’s appropriate to be arguing for multiple days on end. That means that relationship isn’t good. I grew up in the household where silent treatment was the number one form of conflict resolution. So let’s break toxic cycles and not continue to get with people that are emotionally unavailable, immature, and unintelligent. We all deserve healthy and stable relationships! Be wise everyone! Remember a good relationship should be easy!
Then maybe your partner is just emotionally immature? She isn’t a pick me, she’s not talking about abusive relationships here! Trying to get through to someone that’s abusing you is going to be impossible. She’s addressing handling conflict in healthy relationships. You shouldn’t be arguing with somebody for hours or for days, they shouldn’t constantly interrupt you, or never take accountability. At that point that person doesn’t know how to handle conflict and you won’t get anywhere when it comes to arguments. Her advice pertains to normal and healthy relationships.!
Except if you’re dealing with a narcissistic man. He turns every situation into my fault and says he’s so disappointed in my behaviour. Even though he caused me to react as such 🙁
OMG please talk to your man with that tone he will get it and even if it is himself that needs fixed he will fix it please don't cut him off you'll kill your own relationship
It would be nice to start talking about this without gender. this is really true and does not apply to women only. Im in a same sex relationship and this apply to us both. Thamk Yoh for this in any case it really gives something to reflect upon ❤
Nope. Sometimes hurting you was the goal they just don’t have the balls to say that out loud because then you have to do something about it. They’ll will just debate debate your feelings to what they said happened and why you shouldn’t be mad and that’s why I’m fucking here. What do you do when that happens 😂😂 because it’s not uncommon!! I know a lot of women who feel this way and conversations just don’t go far… But whenever you tell them let’s separate they don’t want to
In a relationship as you go further by time. You get to know each other, men take notes about what you like and what you don't. But some men acts like how most women does and vice versa. It's like a positive and negative, when two positives meets, everything between them is all positive, when a positive and negative meets and theres an argument between, mostly the positive thinker will step back and say "you know what you're right". Then they'd be okay. But when two negative meets, it's war everytime. every small thing is a big thing for them and that mostly ends up in break up. So you better know which one are you and which one is your partner. Both negative when you both argue over something and no one is winning 😂. If both of you are positive thinker, you both usually stop midway conversation and think "okay baby, let's stop here and forget about this". when postive and negative argue, the positive thinker will think "okay this is going nowhere, i should stepback, you won"...
If I do the second one he totally ignores me. keeps to offending me and then he tells me he's sorry that he didn't mean that and that he was just angry so he did't think straight.
All this relationship advice is really based on the situation that you're in and the person that you're doing with. How you talk to your spouse? It depends on what kind of man you have. You can speak to your husband in the sweetest tone. You can write him a love letter saying hey, this is out of love, but I want to let you know that you hurt me in this way and they can turn around and still be a full-fledged a****** to you.
Boy or girl,if you use this advice and the other person doesn't care or gets more angry. It's probably because you didn't care about their exact words earlier or some other day. Idk I'm just guessing. I need help too in many ways lol
Nah, the man would be like I DON'T FVCKING CARE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS and keeps doing the same thing so u can get used to it.. If someone's mad they're mad, no matter the gender. The end
You gotta control your cool as best as possible. I know this from experience. My project partner was in my face about negligently forgetting a few important things for our project, and we failed. Yes, it was my fault and he was right, but still, I couldn't tolerate this fact and his criticism, so I snapped, "At least I'm not on the spectrum." He looked so petrified when I said that. I realized that was a terrible thing to say. He won't talk to me. Is it that wrong to address someone's ASD to their face?
What is your partner changes and thinks you need to change or what If your partner didn’t have a great relationship with there father and now they I am one I’m just as bad as her dad ????? But yet I’m not like her dad but yet still I get raked by her for being me ?
What if there being mean abt something you've actually done but how mean they are hurts you but they can only justify there horrible actions with what I've done wrong
We’re either bickering or not talking at all it’s so weird. I’m trying so hard to watch my tone 🫢🫢🫢😰😰😰I hope this is just a phase if anyone can suggest something please do so. I’m sitting on pins a needles wondering if this is gonna last😰
Honey just ignore the last text Because that person is ignorant. Even if you are “annoying“ or if you do something by mistake. YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO BE TALKED DOWN TO IN A DISRESPECTFUL MANNER LIKE “HAVEN’T I TOLD YOU THAT FIVE TIMES?!“ THOSE KIND OF STATEMENTS ARE BELITTLING AND SHATTER OUR SELF-ESTEEM, AND IT IS VERBAL ABUSE. SO IS THE SILENT TREATMENT A FORM OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE. PLEASE EDUCATE YOURSELF ON THE MANY RUclips VIDEOS ABOUT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, VERBAL AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE. GOD BLESS YOU!
Noooo even in that tone u can get abused just keep self control and be wise 😢
Fr 😂
I just tried this it didn’t work😭
It don't work
I tried many times ,but ended up getting hurt more
Yep!! Soft vulnerability doesn't always get understanding. Some ppl are just sooo emotionally immature to handle any kind of conversation that requires them to self reflect w empathy and understanding
I say the same thing it blows out of proportion. The argument and disagreement just gets worse.
Then youre with the wrong person.
This only works if the man loves you if he doesn’t care he doesn’t care.
What you just said, contradicted itself. I hope this is a girl but if he does love you then it does work
I've tried this and it always gets so much more worse. We been at war for 8 yrs now, I'am now a shell of who I once was forever morning my past and coping with my mistakes and losses. Everyday I'm stuck in my head reminiscing about what my life use to be and where I could've been if I didn't settle for this relationship 😢😭😭😭😭😭
Time to walk away from that relationship
It’s never too late to start over, be corageous and fight for the life you want. You still have life you still have time, what you don’t have is courage .
2 days??? Man in my situation it's more like a week.
Swear
my condolences
It’s more then 2 days it be like weeks smh 🤦🏽♀️
Even if I try to be vunerable he won't get it like if I say something that is hurting me he is always like "ofc it's my mistake all the time" in a rude tone . One time I said to him that after coming home from such a long day talk to me instead of using Instagram I had been waiting for him for such a long time to talk . The things he said just shattered my heart he said something like "If u want to find tiny tiny reasons to get angry and argue" "I don't want to calm u down" . It doesn't matter how I tell him either being vunerable or by getting angry I have tried both ways he is too immature to handle it and considering my feelings n he says"i love u a lot".😅
What do I even do?
The best thing is to not respond when your in that amped up state and to walk away before you say something you don’t mean, figure out exactly why your mad and talk to her in that same tone and say how they hurt you. Then set the boundary and say that you refuse to be treated that way and to never do that again. If they intentionally cross it again then leave
It’s easy to leave till she starts stocking you. Saying you hit her when she hit herself. Men and women both do this ugly stuff and it’s honestly quite scary. Not even toxic just psychotic
Nope not at all true! My man just gets pissed off and starts screaming at me. I can be so super sweet and say “Babe, I know you didn’t mean to hurt me but what you said really hurt my feelings. Can we please talk about it.” And he will fly into a complete rage.
Yall might want to see a couple's therapist.
@@Fire_soul1796 😂I’m sorry to laugh it’s the way you said that
@@ibnwilliams6445 🤦🏿♂️
@@Fire_soul1796 I’m sorry it was just the way you said I respect what you are saying
@@ibnwilliams6445 no need to apologize. I get how it was funny in your end.
No harm. No foul.
They for real need to see a therapist, though...😁
My boyfriend is defensive when i say he hurts me. It’s all about him.
Thats all you need to know then, is it not? As a guy, I say if your guy isn't able to self reflect, you're making the choice to ignore the hell out of that bright red flag....or you take action
You chose him
Same
I wish my gf could see this 😅 if I send this to her she’ll definitely start fighting 😂😂
I am so thankful to have found this video I has helped me a lot 😭
Glad we could help!!
The guys in the comment section just need a reminder that she's NOT talking about an abusive relationship
It's not easy relationship not easy BUT not impossible
I think most of this advice pertains to healthy relationships. So a lot of people in this comment section are completely missing the point. Your significant other shouldn’t be constantly interrupting you, they shouldn’t never take accountability, and they shouldn’t ignore you or give you silent treatment. Those are all signs and habits of an emotional immature individual. An adult that’s emotionally mature should be able to take some space and properly address the conflict! If you’re having conflicts that are spanning out days and sometimes even weeks, that is really bad. That’s a clear sign that that relationship is abusive, unhealthy or straight up toxic. There’s no situation where it’s appropriate to be arguing for multiple days on end. That means that relationship isn’t good.
I grew up in the household where silent treatment was the number one form of conflict resolution. So let’s break toxic cycles and not continue to get with people that are emotionally unavailable, immature, and unintelligent. We all deserve healthy and stable relationships! Be wise everyone! Remember a good relationship should be easy!
sent this to my gf and got put in the doghouse, lol
Thanks for the advice bruh. I’ll keep this one to myself.
@@Thisguyrocks518 this ended up being the reason we broke up so don’t listen to this shi lmao
Hey, at least u got the dog. That's a win
She’s a pick me. I did this with my husband and he still picked a fight with me and interrupted me
Then maybe your partner is just emotionally immature?
She isn’t a pick me, she’s not talking about abusive relationships here! Trying to get through to someone that’s abusing you is going to be impossible. She’s addressing handling conflict in healthy relationships. You shouldn’t be arguing with somebody for hours or for days, they shouldn’t constantly interrupt you, or never take accountability. At that point that person doesn’t know how to handle conflict and you won’t get anywhere when it comes to arguments. Her advice pertains to normal and healthy relationships.!
yeah i wish I tried that and when he seen that he didn’t upset me, he started screaming in my face as loud as he could
She right ✅️ 😢
Womens voice so powerful to a man.
Thank you
No even if you talk normal and cry in their face they’ll role their eyes at you and pretend like your not telling them nothing
Except if you’re dealing with a narcissistic man. He turns every situation into my fault and says he’s so disappointed in my behaviour. Even though he caused me to react as such 🙁
If only my girlfriend would do that tone, instead of trying to hurt me back.
Maybe she’s not the one?
I’ve tired both ! IT DOES NOR WORK !
OMG please talk to your man with that tone he will get it and even if it is himself that needs fixed he will fix it please don't cut him off you'll kill your own relationship
Even in that tone
It would be nice to start talking about this without gender. this is really true and does not apply to women only. Im in a same sex relationship and this apply to us both.
Thamk Yoh for this in any case it really gives something to reflect upon ❤
Nope. Sometimes hurting you was the goal they just don’t have the balls to say that out loud because then you have to do something about it. They’ll will just debate debate your feelings to what they said happened and why you shouldn’t be mad and that’s why I’m fucking here. What do you do when that happens 😂😂 because it’s not uncommon!! I know a lot of women who feel this way and conversations just don’t go far… But whenever you tell them let’s separate they don’t want to
In a relationship as you go further by time. You get to know each other, men take notes about what you like and what you don't. But some men acts like how most women does and vice versa. It's like a positive and negative, when two positives meets, everything between them is all positive, when a positive and negative meets and theres an argument between, mostly the positive thinker will step back and say "you know what you're right". Then they'd be okay. But when two negative meets, it's war everytime. every small thing is a big thing for them and that mostly ends up in break up. So you better know which one are you and which one is your partner. Both negative when you both argue over something and no one is winning 😂. If both of you are positive thinker, you both usually stop midway conversation and think "okay baby, let's stop here and forget about this". when postive and negative argue, the positive thinker will think "okay this is going nowhere, i should stepback, you won"...
That’s not gonna work because then he’s gonna say “well you’ve said worse”
My bf n I had our first fight n it sucks I feel bad
Shes talking about a partner that is more emotionally healthy
If I do the second one he totally ignores me. keeps to offending me and then he tells me he's sorry that he didn't mean that and that he was just angry so he did't think straight.
All this relationship advice is really based on the situation that you're in and the person that you're doing with. How you talk to your spouse? It depends on what kind of man you have. You can speak to your husband in the sweetest tone. You can write him a love letter saying hey, this is out of love, but I want to let you know that you hurt me in this way and they can turn around and still be a full-fledged a****** to you.
As a man, we just want peace. You women find reasons to argue. I’m sorry there’s a new stop sign at the Home Depot
“You chose that partner”. Like boi nobody chooses a partner who is rude to them. It gets like that overtime.
I TOTALLY agree. It is so seductive when a Woman does that. I can't handle it
Ain't no way you blame a person for being abused
What if in the second one you did both of those things?
Boy or girl,if you use this advice and the other person doesn't care or gets more angry. It's probably because you didn't care about their exact words earlier or some other day.
Idk I'm just guessing. I need help too in many ways lol
Nah, the man would be like I DON'T FVCKING CARE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS and keeps doing the same thing so u can get used to it.. If someone's mad they're mad, no matter the gender. The end
lol for her it may work.
Ya if the man cares lol
You gotta control your cool as best as possible. I know this from experience. My project partner was in my face about negligently forgetting a few important things for our project, and we failed. Yes, it was my fault and he was right, but still, I couldn't tolerate this fact and his criticism, so I snapped, "At least I'm not on the spectrum." He looked so petrified when I said that. I realized that was a terrible thing to say. He won't talk to me.
Is it that wrong to address someone's ASD to their face?
DOESN'T WORK!!! He will 100% end of being the victim...HELP
Yeah right lmao
100%
Maybe with a SANE male partner this might work
she describes these bossy modern independent women - men don’t want them
Im a guy and use this method with my gf and she RECIPROCATES so wtf is wrong with me
I’ve tried both… doesn’t work.
My solution is to leave permanently
What is your partner changes and thinks you need to change or what If your partner didn’t have a great relationship with there father and now they I am one I’m just as bad as her dad ????? But yet I’m not like her dad but yet still I get raked by her for being me ?
Girl you’re speaking in perfection world lol
Please speak on reality of relationship not this fairy tale text book key points.
What if the opposite side? What if it's her hurting me?
Not true!!! I did it exactly like that and got something else then « oh baby »
What if there being mean abt something you've actually done but how mean they are hurts you but they can only justify there horrible actions with what I've done wrong
Oh please be real, maybe at the beginning of the relationship when the man still wants you otherwise he will get pissed off even more
She’s never dated an Aries ♈️ man 😂
So not true when you talk in that tone they get more angry and they’ll tell you they don’t care
Name of speaker?
No
What episode?
i wish this worked. nope.
That’s kind of an emotional blackmailing but it works always.
We’re either bickering or not talking at all it’s so weird. I’m trying so hard to watch my tone 🫢🫢🫢😰😰😰I hope this is just a phase if anyone can suggest something please do so. I’m sitting on pins a needles wondering if this is gonna last😰
Don't be annoying. It's not that damn hard.
Honey just ignore the last text
Because that person is ignorant. Even if you are “annoying“ or if you do something by mistake. YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO BE TALKED DOWN TO IN A DISRESPECTFUL MANNER LIKE “HAVEN’T I TOLD YOU THAT FIVE TIMES?!“ THOSE KIND OF STATEMENTS ARE BELITTLING AND SHATTER OUR SELF-ESTEEM, AND IT IS VERBAL ABUSE. SO IS THE SILENT TREATMENT A FORM OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE. PLEASE EDUCATE YOURSELF ON THE MANY RUclips VIDEOS ABOUT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, VERBAL AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE. GOD BLESS YOU!
Which of your longer videos is this featured in @thecoffeebreakup