Matthew is so wise. We lose so many years by giving meaning to relationships or more so people who ultimately aren't the right person for us. The right person at the wrong time is the wrong person! It took me many years to learn this🤦🏽♀️
There are no right people. There are only good enough people for as long as both partners lives converge. Everyone wants the fairytale but we are just comets in space that might orbit each other for a little while until our trajectory sends us elsewhere...
I believe it can be the right person wrong time but this concept can become very dangerous when you’re putting your life on pause until they might or might not come back. It’s the ruminating thoughts over that person and this story you’re fantasizing about that’s holding your heart back. I’m currently going through this and it’s gut wrenching. I saw this quote somewhere recently that said “trauma isn’t just the bad things that happened, it’s also the good things that didn’t happen” and that’s very true. Maybe you wanted this relationship so bad but the other person didn’t and it’s difficult to move on because you’re mourning a loss of what could have been. Meanwhile the other person is enjoying their life. It’s different if for whatever reason both parties separated (maybe moved away, got married then divorced or had family issues) but years later got reunited.
Sometimes you are not in that head space to commit , but you really have the right person infront of you, you even let go of the person but a time comes when stars align and it is the right time, you find the person again and this time you are in the right state of mind and ready to give the person the seriousness they deserve, you adress issues and things move really fast because you already know each other and boom you are engaged!
Exactly this, I've met a few people that this happened for them. One was an older couple who had met in their 20's ended up not staying together, moved in different directions, one got married and other one joined military, 10 yrs later bumped into each other at a party, she was a widow and he had moved back to area, got together and have been together since, they are in their 70's now. I know it doesn't happen for everyone and there's exceptions but it does happen. I've met people that now that were older and experienced life & have a better understanding of ourselves and each other that we could probably make a go of things if we really wanted to. It's so different to meet someone again when you are mature verses when you are a teen or 20 something, even 30 yr old.
No. It’s the wrong person at the wrong time, THEN it becomes the right person at the right time in the future. If you’re a person of God, you can’t say the timing is wrong for anything that He decrees! 🥰
The times i felt it could be right person wrong time is more like we are on different wavelengths because im further along in my healing and self awareness than they are, so they have more they need to process and learn about themselves before we could ever even be on the same playing field.
I understand. I had been in a casual relationship with a friend and I felt we were becoming really close but he just left the country for a whole year because he's looking for a "purpose". I will always wonder what it could have been if he had stayed but I understand he wasn't in the right place for something serious so now I consider it only as a special memory and I know now is a good time for me to move on and find real love with the right person.
This is again so astounding. I love everything you’re saying about not living in reality, not living in our real life but living in our minds. Spot on !
You’re very right . I have fallen in what I think was limerence in the past with someone I had an on and off connection with. I held on for along time almost a year and I’m glad I finally came to the realization that I was in an illusion I build in my mind . If someone is the right person they would want to be there and work with me and it shouldn’t feel like I’m trying to conquer something or to make someone see my worth . I have learned to keep the relationship I need and want as the goal and not the person . We need to see if the person can fit the right relationship otherwise it’s not your person . Thanks for making the videos and sharing different advice with us ❤
Agreed!!! Some people do waste their time and their precious days on thinking about individuals that they are no longer, even with wondering and wishing why and hoping for things that are not going to occur. It's really kind of sad to watch and once you learn how to get away from that you are so much better off! Good point in this video
This section of the full video hit me like a tonne of bricks! I have been doing this. I want to live my life fully and not imagine something that's not real
This is true and I am thrilled that someone who gives online dating advice actually has the guts to say it instead of feeding into all those fantasies that people create. Back to the here and now, back to life, back to reality. I really appreciate this perspective.
What’s wrong time anyhow? Time is time, a precisous moment where we either succeed and if not, we learn. As Nelson Mandela said - I never lose. Either I win or I LEARN❤️
I think that a “right” person will always be “right” … or a “wrong” person will always be “wrong”… I just don’t think people change enough to only be computable (or non-compatible) at different times.
I've just pulled away from someone I thought was my right person, wrong time - I finally realised I was just his good time, not his long time 💔 and believe me it's taken 30yrs of my life but I now see him for the user he really is ... 🙏✨️❤️
Thank you brother, my csse has been dragging out for 25 years now. Regrets return occasionally thinking 'what could have been' it if wasnt long distance and if she didnt kept me far cause she was definietly not ready for living together, i was 25 when i met her, she was 19, she liked the huge validation boost and and my boundless love but she was afraid to loose independence i guess. Imagine a guy at 25 in the US Marines, all pumped and ready and she was keeping me back, with her differing plans of her career, studying far away and keeping me as a holiday's boyfriend. I needed a women right there right now. But i see now even if i waited those 2 more years it might have never happened by then i was exhaisted and loosing my mind
I think right person wrong time can be true if you fall in love with someone who just isn't ready because they got out of a relationship and things could be different if they were more emotionally available. Ofc, there's still work and stress to be had in relationships even if it's right person/riggt time.
I'm so over relationships. I'm allowing myself to let go of my past and try not to worry about the future. Any new person will have to bump into me. Lol. I'm so done with online dating. I'm just looking inward and becoming close to the Holy Spirit and see my road for my own self. I'm tired of the games. My kitty and me is a great idea. After multiple problematic relationships i need to work on me.
Thank you for saying this. My luv says Right person Wrong time.. N I thought “Wat” but went along with it. Your heart beats at the right time .. unless a medical Issue pops up.. Point being.. if you both are adults.. N single N fall in love.. When is the Right Time?🤷🏻♀️
I understand this. My question though is, what is it then when a person comes back around and is in a position to fully commit? Is it right person right time? Was it that the whole time then? And and a pause just needed to be had beforehand?
What if it becomes the wrong time for them because of hardships that come up in their lives that they have to address, and they have to allocate the time and energy they were giving to you to that?
Sounds kind of like limerance. I know someone like this. There was even the "story" of previous lives with this person. All the right relationship with this person was in previous lives- how is this kind of mind bending story the truth?
So does it in a way describe twin flame. People swear they have found their twin flame, yet when things don't work out. People say it right person wrong time. But every time you both get together, it always manages to be the wrong time. Which means the person you might think that is your twin is not your twin flame.
Sadly i have to agree, i met someone and clicked with her and shared interests and values, but she met someone else, whom she went on to marry. This was 10 years ago, when i was still learning things, the hard way of course.
What if it really was a wrong time in her life that I became a part of, we dated and then she broke up with me, she wants me as a friend but I’m always going to want more than that with her. But the timing and some tragedies and mental issues is why she said she wanted to break up with me
Hi Mathew! I missed your videos❤ Btw Why all the short clips have subtitles? I can’t focus on the speech and unconsciously start reading them, it takes my attention away from handsome Mat!
I have a guy friend who says, “ I don’t want to hurt a woman”. To me that’s a red flag 🚩 and I steer clear! It’s crazy how he wants a woman to give him sex after he says that, but at least he’s being honest.
I disagree. I have been dating for 20 plus years. I never experienced this until recently. I was dating someone a month after his divorce, we connected so much so that it’s something I never felt before in my past relationships. I had to end it 2 months in because I knew he wasn’t emotionally available. I let go of someone I felt in my heart and soul that I had a potential future with. I am praying if he is who I think he was to me, he comes back one day. Being almost 40 and dating my whole life with ups and downs, I know the difference.
My god, the limerence is just structural because you compensate for your grandiosity having been challenged by the break up. I have been trying to forget someone for years and she still pops in my mind. I don't give it importance anymore. I just think of it as a scar or as a commercial. It's there because it happened and nothing.more. Your limbic brain doesn't get to decide who you should be with just because thr relationship had cannonical events and a memorable emotional signature. You get to move on. But you have to be the first to put a break by saying you won't reattatch if you could and cut all the latches of emotional handles and be wary of all the ways you could be deceiving yourself and, instead of trying to convince yourself, you have to stand like a sentry in your mind spotting each way you could be fooling yourself. You can't force it; you can only let go. So let go. And you do it by not giving it importance. Let the thoughts and feelings come and go, and move on as much as you let go.
You make it the right time. And as long as both parties are working towards the same goal you have a chance. But so many emotionally lazy people out there.
What if you met as friends when he’s trying to get through a divorce…fell in love. You’ve both never experienced happiness and ease like this but he’s going to be moved & deployed for 3 years just 6 months after you started dating…tell me that’s not wrong timing
I fell in the trap of ' Right person , wrong time ' for yesrs this guy would show up and disappear - I've finally realised he was only ever there for a " Good time, not a long time '💔 but never again - I'm done now and he's lost a good woman not that he'll ever know this or care to be fair 🙄😂🤣😂🙏✨️❤️
I totally disagree, sorry. Sometimes an estranged man meets the 'right woman' whilst still being financially tied to his wife (ie he may have taken loans out in his sole name and therefore he's responsible for them, not her) means that his new love will get dumped eventually. Trust me, I know.
Yeah maybe there’s a chance that it’s actually the right person wrong time. But most of the time it’s just the “wrong” person anyway. When I was told I was the right person wrong time I just rolled my eyes😂 nah you just have no commitment to our relationship or have other priorities, which is perfectly fine, just don’t sugarcoat it
True but the right person can come at eny age!know becouse men and woman do not talk too one another!yes and know one is perfect you have too take one another has thy are well I have!becouse what people dont get there changing all the time!so thing different! And lisen too other people there life not there's people thing thy know every thing dont and time waits fore know one !you can like love meny in your life orr you think you love them when dont!true love can come at eny time I know!people say you carnt do this orr that has getting old till thy get there!dont let eny one put down over age looks!its how treat one anothet!another! All personality that goes a long way!and we worry a bout what other S!wrong!
![Seungmin "그렇게, 천천히, 우리(As we are)" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/kAzmhLHePqU/mqdefault.jpg)
Matthew is so wise. We lose so many years by giving meaning to relationships or more so people who ultimately aren't the right person for us. The right person at the wrong time is the wrong person! It took me many years to learn this🤦🏽♀️
Right person wrong time = “I’m hrny” and want other partners still
@@garydelong7750 Grow up, dude!!🙄
You re Spot on!!
@@4EverGr8ful1huh
I think you just dont know when its the wrong time. Could be a right person
Mathew Hussey... killing the Disney Princess in us all, one video at a time. 😂😂😂
Love you really.
😂😂😂😂.. so true.. the "Disney 👸 " must wake up to REALITY 🎉🎉
@@priscillasiryon9251Stop, you don’t know the lesson, if you keep hating
The right person is timeless..
I think this statement is way more accurate! Well done!
Exactly.
Perfect comment! ❤
Amen. A wise priest once told me, "If it leaves, it's not for you. Simple as that."
There are no right people. There are only good enough people for as long as both partners lives converge.
Everyone wants the fairytale but we are just comets in space that might orbit each other for a little while until our trajectory sends us elsewhere...
Thank you. I’m so sick of that saying “right person, wrong time”… there is never a wrong time for the right person..
I believe it can be the right person wrong time but this concept can become very dangerous when you’re putting your life on pause until they might or might not come back. It’s the ruminating thoughts over that person and this story you’re fantasizing about that’s holding your heart back. I’m currently going through this and it’s gut wrenching. I saw this quote somewhere recently that said “trauma isn’t just the bad things that happened, it’s also the good things that didn’t happen” and that’s very true. Maybe you wanted this relationship so bad but the other person didn’t and it’s difficult to move on because you’re mourning a loss of what could have been. Meanwhile the other person is enjoying their life. It’s different if for whatever reason both parties separated (maybe moved away, got married then divorced or had family issues) but years later got reunited.
Sometimes you are not in that head space to commit , but you really have the right person infront of you, you even let go of the person but a time comes when stars align and it is the right time, you find the person again and this time you are in the right state of mind and ready to give the person the seriousness they deserve, you adress issues and things move really fast because you already know each other and boom you are engaged!
Yes, I know a few couples that happened to actually.
Exactly this, I've met a few people that this happened for them. One was an older couple who had met in their 20's ended up not staying together, moved in different directions, one got married and other one joined military, 10 yrs later bumped into each other at a party, she was a widow and he had moved back to area, got together and have been together since, they are in their 70's now. I know it doesn't happen for everyone and there's exceptions but it does happen. I've met people that now that were older and experienced life & have a better understanding of ourselves and each other that we could probably make a go of things if we really wanted to. It's so different to meet someone again when you are mature verses when you are a teen or 20 something, even 30 yr old.
@@lanierogers3315 I know a few people too, and it's currently happening to me :-)
No. It’s the wrong person at the wrong time, THEN it becomes the right person at the right time in the future. If you’re a person of God, you can’t say the timing is wrong for anything that He decrees! 🥰
It happens also...
The times i felt it could be right person wrong time is more like we are on different wavelengths because im further along in my healing and self awareness than they are, so they have more they need to process and learn about themselves before we could ever even be on the same playing field.
I understand. I had been in a casual relationship with a friend and I felt we were becoming really close but he just left the country for a whole year because he's looking for a "purpose". I will always wonder what it could have been if he had stayed but I understand he wasn't in the right place for something serious so now I consider it only as a special memory and I know now is a good time for me to move on and find real love with the right person.
Agree find real love with the right person
How old was he?
@@cristobal.ashton we're both 30
@@lovestyleangel From my personal experience in my 20s as a male, I had zero interest in marriage and kids.
❤ you seem sweet. Praying you go find the right one
This is again so astounding. I love everything you’re saying about not living in reality, not living in our real life but living in our minds. Spot on !
I believe it’s true. I’ve experienced it. Economic factors can keep people apart.
I saw this at the right time. Thanks! ❤
You’re very right . I have fallen in what I think was limerence in the past with someone I had an on and off connection with. I held on for along time almost a year and I’m glad I finally came to the realization that I was in an illusion I build in my mind . If someone is the right person they would want to be there and work with me and it shouldn’t feel like I’m trying to conquer something or to make someone see my worth . I have learned to keep the relationship I need and want as the goal and not the person . We need to see if the person can fit the right relationship otherwise it’s not your person . Thanks for making the videos and sharing different advice with us ❤
Me too. Took almost two years .
Agreed!!! Some people do waste their time and their precious days on thinking about individuals that they are no longer, even with wondering and wishing why and hoping for things that are not going to occur. It's really kind of sad to watch and once you learn how to get away from that you are so much better off! Good point in this video
This section of the full video hit me like a tonne of bricks! I have been doing this. I want to live my life fully and not imagine something that's not real
The way Matt calls me out on my shit every video 😂❤ thanks Matt ❤️
The right person always comes at the right time ❤
This is so true and so well put!!!
This is true and I am thrilled that someone who gives online dating advice actually has the guts to say it instead of feeding into all those fantasies that people create. Back to the here and now, back to life, back to reality. I really appreciate this perspective.
What’s wrong time anyhow? Time is time, a precisous moment where we either succeed and if not, we learn. As Nelson Mandela said - I never lose. Either I win or I LEARN❤️
I am so happy. You know after such a long time hearing something good. Always be happy
I think that a “right” person will always be “right” … or a “wrong” person will always be “wrong”… I just don’t think people change enough to only be computable (or non-compatible) at different times.
powerful comment: the story = missing out on your life...fantasy vs. reality.
Omgosssshhhh so grateful to hear this , this is sooooo accurate 😊😊😊
I’m in this, he is not the right but the perfect person, but not in the right time , 😭😭😭😭 this is killing me
There is no right, perfect person wrong time
It means they are not right person and far from perfect
I've just pulled away from someone I thought was my right person, wrong time - I finally realised I was just his good time, not his long time 💔 and believe me it's taken 30yrs of my life but I now see him for the user he really is ... 🙏✨️❤️
Right person surpasses right and wrong situations or time..... Right person sticks. It just does. 😢
Thank you brother, my csse has been dragging out for 25 years now. Regrets return occasionally thinking 'what could have been' it if wasnt long distance and if she didnt kept me far cause she was definietly not ready for living together, i was 25 when i met her, she was 19, she liked the huge validation boost and and my boundless love but she was afraid to loose independence i guess. Imagine a guy at 25 in the US Marines, all pumped and ready and she was keeping me back, with her differing plans of her career, studying far away and keeping me as a holiday's boyfriend. I needed a women right there right now. But i see now even if i waited those 2 more years it might have never happened by then i was exhaisted and loosing my mind
Wasted a year on a guy by doing just this. I even said those words. Finally free and in something healthy. 🙌
Yep. If it’s the wrong time, that’s just a euphemism for wrong person.
Because you will make time for the person that you love.
Thank you, needed to hear this ❤
very VERY good point!! ❤ thank you, Matthew. 🙏
I think right person wrong time can be true if you fall in love with someone who just isn't ready because they got out of a relationship and things could be different if they were more emotionally available. Ofc, there's still work and stress to be had in relationships even if it's right person/riggt time.
I'm so over relationships. I'm allowing myself to let go of my past and try not to worry about the future. Any new person will have to bump into me. Lol. I'm so done with online dating. I'm just looking inward and becoming close to the Holy Spirit and see my road for my own self. I'm tired of the games. My kitty and me is a great idea. After multiple problematic relationships i need to work on me.
Still have a time journey has been chosen for purpose nothing can stop that .
I've learned this lesson
If it's not the right person it will always be the not right time. Regardless of when you find the right person it will always be at the right time.
This is what I was trying to express and say to me ex.
Of he only actually understood. instead of shutting me down.
lmao thats the title of my most recent song and now I'm overthinking it 💀
Thank you for saying this.
My luv says Right person
Wrong time.. N I thought
“Wat” but went along with it.
Your heart beats at the right time .. unless a medical
Issue pops up..
Point being.. if you both are adults.. N single N fall in love..
When is the Right Time?🤷🏻♀️
Awwww, little Matty's mahrried....
I understand this. My question though is, what is it then when a person comes back around and is in a position to fully commit? Is it right person right time? Was it that the whole time then? And and a pause just needed to be had beforehand?
Many thanks ❤
I imagine cz some people like me prefer subtitles as we don’t have always our headphones with us
I agree whenever watching outside
Or if you are reliving your relationship with an ex and your new familly is here... life
So totally totally true🙂🙂🙂
This is so good. So true.❤ thank you another good piece of advice
What if it becomes the wrong time for them because of hardships that come up in their lives that they have to address, and they have to allocate the time and energy they were giving to you to that?
Well said!
Yes your right, you get out of whatever you put into something??😂❤
Wrong person can become the right person in time
Sounds kind of like limerance. I know someone like this. There was even the "story" of previous lives with this person. All the right relationship with this person was in previous lives- how is this kind of mind bending story the truth?
❤thanks very much 🎉
So does it in a way describe twin flame. People swear they have found their twin flame, yet when things don't work out. People say it right person wrong time. But every time you both get together, it always manages to be the wrong time.
Which means the person you might think that is your twin is not your twin flame.
Sadly i have to agree, i met someone and clicked with her and shared interests and values, but she met someone else, whom she went on to marry.
This was 10 years ago, when i was still learning things, the hard way of course.
When people say that, it’s simply to escape their responsibilities in that relationship. It’s an easy way for them to get out of it🤷♀️
What if it really was a wrong time in her life that I became a part of, we dated and then she broke up with me, she wants me as a friend but I’m always going to want more than that with her. But the timing and some tragedies and mental issues is why she said she wanted to break up with me
I’ve always thought this, and then i discovered long distance 😅
He is right in everything he says here. This is a classic avoidance tactic, to keep you from real love in real time.
So wise
Wow. Very wise ❤
Thx for this
Good point!!
Hi Mathew! I missed your videos❤
Btw Why all the short clips have subtitles? I can’t focus on the speech and unconsciously start reading them, it takes my attention away from handsome Mat!
This is so true but when you're in it, we keep convincing ourselves of that "fairytale" 😕
I have a guy friend who says, “ I don’t want to hurt a woman”. To me that’s a red flag 🚩 and I steer clear! It’s crazy how he wants a woman to give him sex after he says that, but at least he’s being honest.
So how if I am with the right guy n try to have the right time..is it long distance consider wrong time..?
PREACH
Right person in his personality.
Ready for you.
Is his life Compatible with yours?
I disagree. I have been dating for 20 plus years. I never experienced this until recently. I was dating someone a month after his divorce, we connected so much so that it’s something I never felt before in my past relationships. I had to end it 2 months in because I knew he wasn’t emotionally available. I let go of someone I felt in my heart and soul that I had a potential future with. I am praying if he is who I think he was to me, he comes back one day. Being almost 40 and dating my whole life with ups and downs, I know the difference.
Thank you
Wow! Profound!
right person at the wrong time = wrong person 😅
Is that lady your wife 😊 I’m not sure seems like it 🎉🎉❤❤ grad advice tho !
Yes, she is. Her name is Audrey
He's wrong about thisq
LOL... he's definitely "spot on!!" Just because you don't agree with someone doesn't make what they say wrong... 💡💡💡
our brains love to give meaning to things
My god, the limerence is just structural because you compensate for your grandiosity having been challenged by the break up. I have been trying to forget someone for years and she still pops in my mind. I don't give it importance anymore. I just think of it as a scar or as a commercial. It's there because it happened and nothing.more. Your limbic brain doesn't get to decide who you should be with just because thr relationship had cannonical events and a memorable emotional signature. You get to move on. But you have to be the first to put a break by saying you won't reattatch if you could and cut all the latches of emotional handles and be wary of all the ways you could be deceiving yourself and, instead of trying to convince yourself, you have to stand like a sentry in your mind spotting each way you could be fooling yourself.
You can't force it; you can only let go. So let go. And you do it by not giving it importance. Let the thoughts and feelings come and go, and move on as much as you let go.
Oh Christ ! Now I feel like I'm never going to find the right person. 😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞
You make it the right time. And as long as both parties are working towards the same goal you have a chance. But so many emotionally lazy people out there.
I'm not only right person
What if you met as friends when he’s trying to get through a divorce…fell in love. You’ve both never experienced happiness and ease like this but he’s going to be moved & deployed for 3 years just 6 months after you started dating…tell me that’s not wrong timing
I agree
In other words you have to do the work on yourself and you have to do the work on your relationship
Very good!
I agree❤
Right person wrong time is limerence.
I fell in the trap of ' Right person , wrong time ' for yesrs this guy would show up and disappear - I've finally realised he was only ever there for a " Good time, not a long time '💔 but never again - I'm done now and he's lost a good woman not that he'll ever know this or care to be fair 🙄😂🤣😂🙏✨️❤️
Be true to yourself.
Sensible.
Life today is so confusing
Can it be the right time but the wrong person.
I totally disagree, sorry. Sometimes an estranged man meets the 'right woman' whilst still being financially tied to his wife (ie he may have taken loans out in his sole name and therefore he's responsible for them, not her) means that his new love will get dumped eventually. Trust me, I know.
No to exile no to storyline
That’s limerance
Yup
ummm who's her????
Wondering the same thing.
@@gowery3 hehe
His wife
@@Pinkflamingoismyfavoritecolor. no wonder he's so happy and knowledgeable
@@Dante-tt5bz right! Although I don’t entirely agree with his theory here but he definitely seems happy with her. ☺️
❤❤❤❤❤
Yeah maybe there’s a chance that it’s actually the right person wrong time. But most of the time it’s just the “wrong” person anyway.
When I was told I was the right person wrong time I just rolled my eyes😂 nah you just have no commitment to our relationship or have other priorities, which is perfectly fine, just don’t sugarcoat it
It's too complicated.
true
So so happy for you. If you are still not married then invite me on your wedding. Love you
True but the right person can come at eny age!know becouse men and woman do not talk too one another!yes and know one is perfect you have too take one another has thy are well I have!becouse what people dont get there changing all the time!so thing different! And lisen too other people there life not there's people thing thy know every thing dont and time waits fore know one !you can like love meny in your life orr you think you love them when dont!true love can come at eny time I know!people say you carnt do this orr that has getting old till thy get there!dont let eny one put down over age looks!its how treat one anothet!another! All personality that goes a long way!and we worry a bout what other
S!wrong!
Are you engaged? Congratulations
True