During the argument I was also trying to understand both points of view, but the moment he started trying to tell her how she really felt as if he knew better, he lost me. That's gaslight and there's no excuse to not see that red flag.
My issue with the fight scene, and why I'm wholeheartedly against his reaction, is that he is the one that asked her why she was mad. She was hurt and quiet, but not accusing, not lashing out. She felt rejected and let down after a stressful interaction, which is valid, and instead of listening to her, comforting her, trying to empathize or even just leaving her alone to be upset, he specifically asks her why she's mad and before she can get an entire sentence out to explain why she's upset he tells her she's stupid, and then that she's insane because she has the audacity to feel something that isn't pleasing to him. He's not trying to connect , to understand, to learn, to make amends. His intention is to shame her smiling silence because that is more comfortable to him than actually owning the fact that he was rude to her the whole night by excluding her. He knows this is his fault, that's why he came in with an attack instead of with empathy and willingness to listen. This is classic gaslighting (and if you'll notice the red knobs are bathed in light on the gas range, so clearly the intention of the scene) and it's emotionally abusive. You don't have to agree with your partner if they react differently than you would like, but calling them stupid and crazy for it is abusive.
“So casually cruel in the name of being honest” is one of my favorite Taylor’s line. She wrote this one when she was 21. Imagine the potential. Well, we can. Folklore and evermore showed what this 21 year old could write when she was 30. Hope you continue reacting to Taylor. It would be cool if you watch her SNL performance of this song. Incredible. Thanks.
she got a job as a songwriter when she was 13 n was writing songs for other artists.she always has been a great writer,alot of icons like Paul Mccartney ,Billy Joal,Carole King,Dolly parton,Bruce Springsteen,Phil collins etc call her the best songwriter of this generation.billy joel said she is the beatles of this generation
Hey J. Long time no see. Happy Thanksgiving. The kitchen scene. Well, the dynamic is that he is 10 yrs older than she is hanging out with his 30 yr old friends. A young 20 yr old isn't able to hold their own in that situation and needed the significant other to make them feel included, or to bring them into the conversation. The female didn't necessarily need affection, but needed him to include her. That age difference and at that young age there is going to be a problem, so why even bring her if he wasn't interested in introducing her friends to her and having them get to know her. He then gaslighted her, called her crazy, insane, stupid, selfish. Then, when she is crying, he apologized while mocking dropping her hand. At the end of the scene and she is wiping her eyes, she said she was embarrassed. That's telling. All that and the end result is that she felt stupid and embarrassed, only because of all the things he said to her. Gaslighting her.
Even as a guy who gets the logic vs emotions struggle, I see more of her side during the argument scene, mostly because she's supposed to be 20 while he's 30 (you can see this with the lyrics about her turning 21 and then "I'll get older but your lovers stay my age" the dude is 40 today and his current gf is 25). That's a super big maturity gap and he's acting just like her while he decided to date somebody that's barely out of her teens. So it was much more on him to know how to deal with situations like this and be the bigger person so I really cannot see his side with that context, now if both were closer in age I would feel more like you did.
she was going through a really hard time and it was during her tour rehearsal and she was about to cry n suddenly started just free styling this song for like 20 minutes n her band was just playing along with her n one of them recorded this and later gave it to her mom...most of the people and music critics say that this is her best song..this song is so special for swifties it's like a swifties anthem😂
That argument is pure gaslighting. "I don't think I'm making you feel that way, you're making yourself feel that way" "selfish", if my partner talked to me like that he'd see my back walking away faster than he could know what hit him. Red flags all over this argument. I've been in a relationship that had arguments like these during my late teens. When I got out of it years later than I should have and started going to therapy to make sense of the mess he left in my head, my therapist called it abuse. Mental and emotional abuse. While with him I was too close to the situation to see it, but afterwards it was pretty clear. I feel like this short film could help some women realize that they're in a bad situation. Maybe if it had existed ten years ago it would have helped me too.
Hey J, nice reaction video. Glad you liked the song and the video. it's been cool and interesting, watching you get to know Taylor's discography a bit and develop an appreciation for her work. I agree with what you said about how it's nice as an artist to be able to take your pain or whatever experience you are going through and to be able to turn it into art, something that is bigger than you and that other people can relate to. I think that is what Taylor has been doing her entire career with her songwriting. It's nice that you get that, instead of dismissing her as writing songs about her ex's or being petty or whatever the way so many other people have trivialized her currently and in the past. There is a lot more to her than that. About the kitchen scene. I, like you, can see both sides of it.. or I could to some extent at first. Like I understand that he maybe at the time didn't even notice he was ignoring her or that he dropped her hand, I could see that. But once he realized she felt that way, how hard would it have been to say you know what, I didn't mean to make you feel that way, I had no idea you felt so out of place. these were my friends who I haven't seen in a long time and I got caught up catching up, I'm sorry. That would have defused the entire situation. She was just looking for reassurance. How much would that have cost him? Instead of getting defensive and lashing out and refusing to take any responsibility for what happened and telling her how crazy and selfish and and ridiculous her feelings were. We have to remember that this guy was 10 years older than her and this isn't the 1st time he has dated a much younger woman. This is this girls 1st time experiencing these feelings, she's got a lot to learn. He could have manned up and handled it differently. Everyone's feelings have validity, and just because someone doesn't understand another persons feelings or thinks that they would never feel that way, it doesn't change that fact that the other person DOES feel that way and that is valid. You don't see her telling him how ridiculous or crazy he is being even though she obviously doesn't understand. Invalidating someone's feelings is the wrong thing to do. Feelings aren't always logical, and I think if you expect people to be able to follow your logic or to just know something, you are going to end up being disappointed almost every time. Assumptions or jumping to conclusions will always get you in trouble. Everyone's perspective is different. t's better to go off of what people tell you. How can you expect someone to know something unless you tell them? That's my opinion anyway. Sorry for the rant lol! I also think you should check out Nothing New Ft Phoebe Bridgers. I think you would enjoy that one. It's crazy to think that she was that wise at the age of 22. The style of it reminds me a bit of Matthew Pryor. Also, It would be awesome if you checked out Miss Americana, Taylor's documentary on Netflix. I know you would have to cut it up on the channel but I think you would really enjoy that as well. Even if you watched it and just did a video where you talked about it afterward without playing clips of the video would be cool with me. Anyway, thanks for making you videos, I really like watching them. Take care.
The shorter version was on the Red album in 2012. The 10 min version was the original written song before the album. The record label wanted a shorter version for the album. Now with the vault songs, she has the opportunity to release the 10 min one now.
Hey man! I love seeing your appreciation for Taylor grow yet you still keep all your honesty and don’t say want you want people to hear, one of the reason why your reacting videos are special, plus you make great points, love your videos and keep doing you!
Regarding the argument; even though he asked what was wrong the tone he used with her was anything but understanding or coming from a place of wanting to put her at ease, just because he didn’t realize that he was insulting her or hurting her feelings doesn’t make her feelings invalid, and instead of listening to her he just talked over for the most part and made her feel even more insecure, classic gaslighting. And the “apology” was completely insincere.
He has zero right to be upset during that argument. He had no legs to stand on there. If they are hanging out with HIS friends that she don't know, it's HIS job to introduce her to them and keep her involved in the conversation. These are people who she's never met, they are all about a decade older than her so she can't relate to them, and he's the only one there that knows her. She was trying to get involved by taking his hand, and he completely dismissed her by dropping her hand. This tells us that he doesn't really care about her or care about her enough to keep her involved with everyone. He was the only one who made her feel comfortable, and then he acted like a completely different person - like she didn't matter at all. If he wanted to do that, hang out with them when she's not there. Don't make her feel alone in a room full of people.
The difference about the fight scene is she wasn’t upset that he was upset but he got upset that she was upset with him. That’s the difference. She wasn’t feeling understood and he just blew it off like it was nothing. That sorry scene was suppose to be that. That he didn’t care and said sorry to shut her up and end the fight. That scene is just brutal.
During the argument I was also trying to understand both points of view, but the moment he started trying to tell her how she really felt as if he knew better, he lost me. That's gaslight and there's no excuse to not see that red flag.
My issue with the fight scene, and why I'm wholeheartedly against his reaction, is that he is the one that asked her why she was mad. She was hurt and quiet, but not accusing, not lashing out. She felt rejected and let down after a stressful interaction, which is valid, and instead of listening to her, comforting her, trying to empathize or even just leaving her alone to be upset, he specifically asks her why she's mad and before she can get an entire sentence out to explain why she's upset he tells her she's stupid, and then that she's insane because she has the audacity to feel something that isn't pleasing to him. He's not trying to connect , to understand, to learn, to make amends. His intention is to shame her smiling silence because that is more comfortable to him than actually owning the fact that he was rude to her the whole night by excluding her. He knows this is his fault, that's why he came in with an attack instead of with empathy and willingness to listen. This is classic gaslighting (and if you'll notice the red knobs are bathed in light on the gas range, so clearly the intention of the scene) and it's emotionally abusive. You don't have to agree with your partner if they react differently than you would like, but calling them stupid and crazy for it is abusive.
“So casually cruel in the name of being honest” is one of my favorite Taylor’s line. She wrote this one when she was 21. Imagine the potential. Well, we can. Folklore and evermore showed what this 21 year old could write when she was 30. Hope you continue reacting to Taylor. It would be cool if you watch her SNL performance of this song. Incredible. Thanks.
she got a job as a songwriter when she was 13 n was writing songs for other artists.she always has been a great writer,alot of icons like Paul Mccartney ,Billy Joal,Carole King,Dolly parton,Bruce Springsteen,Phil collins etc call her the best songwriter of this generation.billy joel said she is the beatles of this generation
Hey J. Long time no see. Happy Thanksgiving. The kitchen scene. Well, the dynamic is that he is 10 yrs older than she is hanging out with his 30 yr old friends. A young 20 yr old isn't able to hold their own in that situation and needed the significant other to make them feel included, or to bring them into the conversation. The female didn't necessarily need affection, but needed him to include her. That age difference and at that young age there is going to be a problem, so why even bring her if he wasn't interested in introducing her friends to her and having them get to know her. He then gaslighted her, called her crazy, insane, stupid, selfish. Then, when she is crying, he apologized while mocking dropping her hand. At the end of the scene and she is wiping her eyes, she said she was embarrassed. That's telling. All that and the end result is that she felt stupid and embarrassed, only because of all the things he said to her. Gaslighting her.
Even as a guy who gets the logic vs emotions struggle, I see more of her side during the argument scene, mostly because she's supposed to be 20 while he's 30 (you can see this with the lyrics about her turning 21 and then "I'll get older but your lovers stay my age" the dude is 40 today and his current gf is 25). That's a super big maturity gap and he's acting just like her while he decided to date somebody that's barely out of her teens. So it was much more on him to know how to deal with situations like this and be the bigger person so I really cannot see his side with that context, now if both were closer in age I would feel more like you did.
she was going through a really hard time and it was during her tour rehearsal and she was about to cry n suddenly started just free styling this song for like 20 minutes n her band was just playing along with her n one of them recorded this and later gave it to her mom...most of the people and music critics say that this is her best song..this song is so special for swifties it's like a swifties anthem😂
That argument is pure gaslighting. "I don't think I'm making you feel that way, you're making yourself feel that way" "selfish", if my partner talked to me like that he'd see my back walking away faster than he could know what hit him. Red flags all over this argument. I've been in a relationship that had arguments like these during my late teens. When I got out of it years later than I should have and started going to therapy to make sense of the mess he left in my head, my therapist called it abuse. Mental and emotional abuse. While with him I was too close to the situation to see it, but afterwards it was pretty clear. I feel like this short film could help some women realize that they're in a bad situation. Maybe if it had existed ten years ago it would have helped me too.
I appreciate your review.
The way you said “lmao the refrigerator light, what a waste of energy”
Hey J, nice reaction video. Glad you liked the song and the video. it's been cool and interesting, watching you get to know Taylor's discography a bit and develop an appreciation for her work. I agree with what you said about how it's nice as an artist to be able to take your pain or whatever experience you are going through and to be able to turn it into art, something that is bigger than you and that other people can relate to. I think that is what Taylor has been doing her entire career with her songwriting. It's nice that you get that, instead of dismissing her as writing songs about her ex's or being petty or whatever the way so many other people have trivialized her currently and in the past. There is a lot more to her than that. About the kitchen scene. I, like you, can see both sides of it.. or I could to some extent at first. Like I understand that he maybe at the time didn't even notice he was ignoring her or that he dropped her hand, I could see that. But once he realized she felt that way, how hard would it have been to say you know what, I didn't mean to make you feel that way, I had no idea you felt so out of place. these were my friends who I haven't seen in a long time and I got caught up catching up, I'm sorry. That would have defused the entire situation. She was just looking for reassurance. How much would that have cost him? Instead of getting defensive and lashing out and refusing to take any responsibility for what happened and telling her how crazy and selfish and and ridiculous her feelings were. We have to remember that this guy was 10 years older than her and this isn't the 1st time he has dated a much younger woman. This is this girls 1st time experiencing these feelings, she's got a lot to learn. He could have manned up and handled it differently. Everyone's feelings have validity, and just because someone doesn't understand another persons feelings or thinks that they would never feel that way, it doesn't change that fact that the other person DOES feel that way and that is valid. You don't see her telling him how ridiculous or crazy he is being even though she obviously doesn't understand. Invalidating someone's feelings is the wrong thing to do. Feelings aren't always logical, and I think if you expect people to be able to follow your logic or to just know something, you are going to end up being disappointed almost every time. Assumptions or jumping to conclusions will always get you in trouble. Everyone's perspective is different. t's better to go off of what people tell you. How can you expect someone to know something unless you tell them? That's my opinion anyway. Sorry for the rant lol! I also think you should check out Nothing New Ft Phoebe Bridgers. I think you would enjoy that one. It's crazy to think that she was that wise at the age of 22. The style of it reminds me a bit of Matthew Pryor. Also, It would be awesome if you checked out Miss Americana, Taylor's documentary on Netflix. I know you would have to cut it up on the channel but I think you would really enjoy that as well. Even if you watched it and just did a video where you talked about it afterward without playing clips of the video would be cool with me. Anyway, thanks for making you videos, I really like watching them. Take care.
The shorter version was on the Red album in 2012. The 10 min version was the original written song before the album. The record label wanted a shorter version for the album. Now with the vault songs, she has the opportunity to release the 10 min one now.
Hey man! I love seeing your appreciation for Taylor grow yet you still keep all your honesty and don’t say want you want people to hear, one of the reason why your reacting videos are special, plus you make great points, love your videos and keep doing you!
Regarding the argument; even though he asked what was wrong the tone he used with her was anything but understanding or coming from a place of wanting to put her at ease, just because he didn’t realize that he was insulting her or hurting her feelings doesn’t make her feelings invalid, and instead of listening to her he just talked over for the most part and made her feel even more insecure, classic gaslighting. And the “apology” was completely insincere.
I'm a fan of Taylor but I don't get mad when you pick on her lyrics I would rather you be truthful and honest about your opinion so thanks Steezy.
He has zero right to be upset during that argument. He had no legs to stand on there. If they are hanging out with HIS friends that she don't know, it's HIS job to introduce her to them and keep her involved in the conversation. These are people who she's never met, they are all about a decade older than her so she can't relate to them, and he's the only one there that knows her. She was trying to get involved by taking his hand, and he completely dismissed her by dropping her hand. This tells us that he doesn't really care about her or care about her enough to keep her involved with everyone. He was the only one who made her feel comfortable, and then he acted like a completely different person - like she didn't matter at all. If he wanted to do that, hang out with them when she's not there. Don't make her feel alone in a room full of people.
I always enjoy your Taylor reactions. I love her but I appreciate your view. Keep it up. You’re one of my favorites. ♥️
Loved your insights! Hope to hear your music soon 💙
The difference about the fight scene is she wasn’t upset that he was upset but he got upset that she was upset with him. That’s the difference. She wasn’t feeling understood and he just blew it off like it was nothing. That sorry scene was suppose to be that. That he didn’t care and said sorry to shut her up and end the fight. That scene is just brutal.
Loved your reaction 💕