As a melee fan it's crazy to know that I can watch Bobby Scar bare his psyche in a therapy session on youtube. It takes incredible courage to have this type of dialogue in public and I want to thank you both for driving home the point that even the most sincere and cerebral among us need help unpacking how their mind works and the way they see the world. I've been watching Scar become more philosophical and self-reflective over the past half-decade but this is something else. Subscribed.
@@nicholasmiranda6013 That's true for you bro not a lot of other people. Most therapists out there are pretty good in the US. He/She might have to deal with that but probably not.
"One day you're going to be on an airplane, a bell will ring and a flight attendant is going to ask if there is a doctor on board and you are going to be terrified. You are going to wait and cross your fingers because you hope there is someone else." This really resonated with me and I am not sure why. I am not a doctor, but I hope that when my day comes I am prepared to help.
I need to start taking notes on a Google doc of all the key ideas in each of these videos, there's so much good content I can't keep track of everything.
I had to stop watching so much because there's only so much information I can take in. Taking notes of the more impactful parts would be helpful too though.
I think for me just paying 100% attention helps completely then giving time to ruminate and transfer to long term is key, wont nessasarily work for everyone
@@DEMillerEarl hello! sorry i don't remember the context of the video, but when i was in elementary school i had few friends. And the first time I invited a certain one over he asked if he could have the card. I said no. And I realized it was gone sometime after he left. To make it more obvious, i saw it at his house and asked him about it. and he said he just bought it. back then i didn't have many friends so i just let it slide, and i used to let people walk over me. but it feels like betrayal when someone steals something from you. even if its just a yugioh card. I am no longer friends with this individual, not because of this incident, but you could say it was a red flag. I am curious did you steal from your friends or strangers?
@@TheQwerty103 Very much appreciate the response. Trying to understand my own mindset, in those moments it was complete selfishness and wanting the card because my own "collection" was more important. The other person as a human didn't enter into my thoughts, my mind at the time was so worried about being caught, about how to steal them so I wouldn't be noticed that I didn't question the initial desire to have the card. Just wanted to say I hope your friends betrayal didn't hurt you too badly, as a betrayer I know the pain I've caused in the past. Story directly reminds me of a Gameboy advance I "borrowed" without permission. Intended to return it once the game was done but again, no concern for the other party at all. Her mom actually caught me at school the next day and I said my mom bought it. She obviously knew, confiscated it and said my parents would talk to me after-school. I was in elementary school, early-ish and ran away to a friend's house to hideout. Long story lol, but in looking back stealing was a way to feel your parents cared about you, because anger is better than neglect but until I could recognize that pattern it went out of control. Thanks for the response mate, sorry to bother :)
I was shocked that someone so embedded and revered in their community has the same problems with doubt and shame that I do. We're all gonna get better, friends :)
That insight about "not feeling your structure" actually is VERY significant... That hits me hard. I have that feeling 100% when I feel as if I'm being rejected by whomever is in the moment. Fantastic stuff.
That must be a new record, I started crying by 8:20 Hope you read these comments Scar- I think we have a lot in common, and this really helped me. Thanks for sharing your stuff.
@@hamzasehavdic I basically realized that I was trash at the game and I wanted to have a reliable future. I started thinking about who I would be in 5-15 years and decided to be somebody I could be proud of. No offense, but I would not be proud of myself as a gamer.
Deku Thanks for the response homie I feel that, I guess you were started with the expectation of trying to be the best and that didnt fit for you What do you do now for your future? I personally am finishing my degree, and my hobby had become drawing but I see melee as the only game ill touch to "game" with friends. Do you still play games nowadays too? Sorry im super curious because im in a similar spot.
This talk hit right in the feels. While many of the other interviews get me thinking about the parallels between the interviewees' situations and mine, this delves into a deeper layer of being. Thanks Bobby and Dr. K, an invaluable talk.
I think this "I don't wanna" lies deeper. It may be coincidental, but I think in all of the cases where "I just don't wanna" it comes from me not knowing what exactly to do, because I want to do it perfectly the first time I do it. So if I don't know any step of a process, and I do not admit that for whatever reason, then I just don't wanna do that whole process. By process I mean approach a girl, get a job or clean up my room.
This makes sense, and not to be a dick but I feel for these things it's never what you think it is. Like it's something that is so obvious but you cant assess the problem from the inside. But that is my self doubt speaking so what do I know.
Fuckin hell. When you talked about the person who told themselves they weren’t worthy for a person to love them to mitigate the pain of the loss of that person later on, that hit home super hard. Been struggling to get over my last relationship for 5+ years now, and you nailed one of the main reasons right on the head. I know that if I ever actually opened myself up again and had to go through losing it again, I couldn’t make it. I know I’m not strong enough because I’m barely making it through this time. Being alone for the rest of my life is a fair price to pay in lieu of the possibility that I have to go through the pain I’ve already been through again.
these videos are such great pieces of content. So reassuring hearing people talk in depth about their minds and making an effort to understand themselves. Love the work Dr. K is doing!
God damn. I have exactly that fear of abandonment. But I feel freaking stuck of how to resolve this. I feel like all roads lead to a dead end. The root of the problem probably is ever since I was young I had very vivid imagination. I liked reading, writing, drawing, coming up with stuff. In the whole family only my mom had something to do with that. Only she listened to me and liked what I did. The others were like "let the kid do its thing". If I show them a picture or something they were "Bravo" without even looking, or they didnt even pay attention. Only my mom. However she was so overwhelmed with her health problems and work and everything and she didnt have enough time for me. This is all good that I understand the root. Howeverrr I decided that I cannot blame them. I felt alone in my world, realizing that they are simple people who cant be bothered by such stuff. This made me end up in a situation that I have no one to blame but myself. I felt alone and abandoned, I was part of their world, but they werent part of mine. This maybe lead me to accept that I should not involve people in my world and that it is not important. But I just cannot resolve the root. I still feel like this. I share. I share a lot with people, but I dont feel that what Im sharing is valuable. I feel like people dont understand me, that I am not worthy to be valued and even if I try to fake it its just not convincing. On logical level I realize that this is simply not true. On emotional level however I just cant resolve it. I cant accept that this isnt true. Maybe its time to visit a therapist. Im just out of tools to make this right. And damn does it drain my energy like crazy. When someone precious to me doesnt write or call for a long time I go into overthinking how they dont give a damn about me, dont value me at all, dont care how I feel. I may dramatize stuff and just go on extremes for reasons that other people just cant see coming. And there is this calm logical state that understands them and how they dont get it why I react like this, but when the other state comes and I feel like shit... Then the ego joins and says "You fking deserve to be loved and appreciated. How can you let them do that." This leads to anger, which engages in conflict with my logic and I either end up blaming myself or the other person. The overthinking intensifies. Overall true idyll of a story. Anyways. I am probably going to visit a therapist, to try and resolve that somehow. Any comments and ideas are still appreciated though. Thank you beforehand to anyone who engages in this and thanks to Dr. K for all the amazing content. His sessions helped me so much that I dont even know how to thank him properly. Peace.
I really enjoy listening to this one, but what really got me thinking is the little bit Dr. K talked about someone else with social anxiety. The "I don't wanna" part resonates with me. I've always had social anxiety and have improved it immensely, but I'm still wondering if there is a video of Dr. K talking more about social anxiety?
I don’t feel like anyone’s safe. Even people I have every reason to believe are completely safe.. knowing that logically just doesn’t equate to feeling that they are. I’m struggling to get close enough to people to challenge that because I feel like I need to withdraw before what feels like the inevitable happens - when they decide I’m not worth the effort because I’ve got so many rampant issues & in my mind I’m not that interesting to begin with so it just feels like anyone worth having around, anyone with good intentions will leave. It’s really like a loop I’m trying to force my way out of but it doesn’t take much to reinforce how I feel even when I know better. Feel completely stuck & honestly scared.
I didn't cry, but what they had talked to up til this point is the embodiment of what I felt in my childhood. I couldn't understand then, but I do understand now. It hurts because we know his pain.
Maybe twitch chat relates more to anxiety or depression, and while we have an epidemic in our society, talking about dharma has completely changed my life and has gotten me out of a downward spiral. For the longest time I felt that my life had no meaning other than what I gave it, and I came to the conclusion I should almost maximize hedonistic experiences. After I started to understand how much I loved other people, and would do for them many magnitudes more than what I would do for myself, I've been able recontextualize my whole life with how it relates to helping others. I've honestly completely been able to completly change my sense of life purpose, and I believe I've found what I am meant to do in life. Twich chat may not realize it now but some day they are going to understand how life changing and important finding your dharma is.
Brenden w if you practice the alternate nostril breathing or other meditation practice for 6 months consistently, there will be another boost. Just as powerful as understanding your dharma.
I relate SO hard to the idea that a lot of my generalized anxiety comes from my awareness of the general state of the world & this country (US) & the fact that literally almost no one in power is doing anything to address systemic issues that are actually a threat to our species survival, as well as basically dooming hundreds of millions of people even just within my lifetime. Also, being a socialist/communist/Marxist/anarchist in America comes with its own very special kind of anxiety, because if you are one & you know history, you know that this country has led the way in globally, systematically massacring MILLIONS of people who believe roughly what you believe in order to prevent the class hierarchy from ever being dissolved. You know about the labor activists who have been essentially treated like enemy combatants (look up the Battle of Blair Mountain for perhaps the most significant among many examples). You know about the FBI & CIA murdering the Black Panthers, murdering MLK Jr.. You know that things may be peaceful for you today, but that’s mostly because since the 1970s the left & organized labor have been crushed out of existence, & that if/when you ever actually start to act in service of your ideals, the moment a movement/party you’re a part of become a real threat to power that could actually change things, the most powerful people in this country will do what they’ve always done & will use whatever violence, & propaganda about how you’re evil & hate freedom & want to destroy our society, & so on- whatever is necessary to get rid of you, or at very least to mislead people about what you believe & lead them to hate & persecute you. It happened during the Civil Rights movement, it happened during the women’s suffrage movement, it happened to leftists throughout the Cold War, it happened on a small scale to Occupy, & now it’s happening to BLM, despite the fact that they literally just want police to stop disproportionately murdering black people. We live stuck between a rock & a hard place where either we will stay marginal & powerless, & the ruling class will continue to dominate our society, & mass poverty will continue to expand, & we won’t have real democracy, & we won’t be able to stop climate change from snowballing out of control, & our civil rights will erode like they’ve done since 2000 (with the NDAA, Patriot Act, mass surveillance, etc.), fascists will continue to gain power (because if the left doesn’t provide desperate poor/working class people with a material analysis that explains the true origins of their problems, they’ll go to the people who WILL, which will be those who scapegoat immigrants, refugees, black people, “cultural Marxism,” secret communist billionaires [lol at the concept, but they actually believe it], feminism, & so on)… OR, people will start to wake up, organize, push back against these horrible forces of reaction, & undiluted ego, & sociopathic ideology, & then we will potentially end up being persecuted & brutalized in a lot of horrific ways, just like historically we were criminalized & exiled, or imprisoned, or being targeted & attacked by blackshirt types (who we already see in the US in the form of far right street gangs like the Proud Boys) & having the police side with the fascist aggressors, & so on… Overall I’ve always believed my generalized anxiety is rooted in physiology- that my adrenal/norepinephrine systems are hyperactive & give me a very high baseline of anxiety regardless of what I think or whether I worry… But some parts of our mind are subconscious, & it’s not a trivial question to figure out whether or the chicken or the egg comes first. Do I worry about these very real big picture fears & concerns more because of my hyperactive adrenergic channels, or have I developed hyperactive adrenergic (& perhaps cortisol) channels because since I was like 15 I’ve had this perfectly rational awareness that people like me have historically been stigmatized as some kind of agents of evil, hated “others” who don’t deserve to live, & every time I see signs of Red Scare type tendencies coming back (or, even worse, signs that we’re on track to parallel the early 1920s Weimar Republic) I am terrified of where we may be headed. But more generally than these fears that are specific to being a socialist, I wonder just how close to universal the fear is that is associated with being aware of massive, cataclysmic impending problems (like climate change, or the failed handling of the pandemic & people refusing to respect public health policies leading to continual resurgences, or global water shortages, etc.) and also being extremely aware that the people who have the power to fix them have overwhelmingly refused to even attempt to do so, because they’re only concerned with serving the economic interests of the elite who finance them. I have to think that this has to weigh unimaginably on the kids/teens who are growing up in the same world I did, except for further & further along on the timeline of the disasters, with less & less hope that anything can be done to stop them at this point. I mean there’s a reason we talk about the Doomer generation(s)… And I’m very thankful that the way a lot of young people cope with this reality is by becoming mobilized, becoming conscious & active & doing whatever they feel they can do, because the moment we stop acting as though a good future is possible, it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy where we guarantee that it won’t be, even if it could’ve been. But this is not a natural condition for human beings to live in, & as things get worse (which they’re pretty certain to before they can get better, since any attempt to improve them will be met with resistance & reactionism) I just wonder how young people will cope. My worry, on that front, is that ideas like simulation theory (the belief that our world isn’t actually real & this is all just an unbelievably elaborate & detailed computer game) will become more & more popular, because they serve as a mental shield… If our world isn’t real, if other people are just NPCs (or at least are players whose real existence isn’t inside the simulation), then when Americans, many of whom will be relatively insulated from a lot of the calamity of climate change, see news footage about literally hundreds of millions of people around the entire planet being displaced from their homes by sea level rise, dying from all kinds of disasters, being gunned down at our borders as they desperately try to get to somewhere safe, they can comfort themselves by telling themselves it’s not real, distancing them from a harsh & unacceptable reality. It’s more important than ever in human history that we don’t find ways to disconnect from reality, to downplay our problems, or distract ourselves, & there are a lot of people- even pretty smart people- who I think will succumb to delusions (or very happily accept them as a pain-killer) if it makes them feel they can just keep on living as normal in a world that is anything but. I think the only way we’re going to find a path to decent survival in the long-run is if we move in the exact opposite direction, towards acknowledging & empathizing with the humanity of everyone, no matter how different they are from us, connecting with our higher self & letting it take the wheel rather than sinking deeper into ego & reactivity, & acting on the basis that the manifest world of 4D spacetime we share is absolutely real & important & meaningful (even if we hold spiritual beliefs that there is a deeper layer beneath the surface & in that respect it is not the “ground of being-“ a very different concept with very different implications for our behavior than “this is all just a game so who care”).
holy shit, I fully identify with the "just dont wanna" issue. with the do I feel like "did i fool all those people" I think everyone just becomes more skeptical of me as a being.
Where were you 10/20 years ago? that's kind of content could helped me back then. It is a little late know. Still interesting af. Gimme some time i'm gonna watch them all.
20:07 Well why don't parents prepare 5 year olds then? Had his parents told him: you know, 8yolds will tell you something that is not true, this could have been avoided. It seems that kids are just thrown at obstacles and if they cannot cope, nobody cares. If I was a parent and I saw my child couldn't cope, I would try my best to teach it instead of looking at its suffering and saying to myself that the child had to figure out itself.
Man, this sentence about that he had a long road ahead of him got me kind of worried 😅 I really want to do more for myself instead of looking for comforting words, but I find it really scary to let out my emotions. I know that I actually can make the right decisions like wtf am I even doing, wtf
24:20 Does anyone know what interview Dr K. is referring to about anxious guy embarrassed to get a job application?? I think that might be a big one for me if anyone can help!
Is it normal to have dream-like "visions" when meditating? Not thoughts, more like random uncontrollable "movies", like dreams. I had 3 of those in 15 minutes today.
I get the feeling that what you're describing isn't really meditation but immersion in thought, like a day-dreaming state your mind enters when it lacks other stimulus. I get that too when I'm not mindful
@@SmartOlja yeah, it's not meditation. It happens for like 30-60 seconds when I'm sitting down to meditate. Like, 'between' meditation, I guess. I just didn't know those mini-dreams could even happen and I haven't been abled to find stuff about it online.
Anyone else feel like this interview was kind of hard to follow along with? Like I feel like they float around so many topics in this and don't really stay on one thing for most of the video
Just want to mention that there is a little mistake in your Disclaimer, it says "In the United States and you or a loved one are..." I guess you want to say "...if you or a loved one..."
I think he's VERY Pitah. Pitah are people who hang onto something and don't let it go until it's done and then move onto something new. I don't think he's much vata...
As a melee fan it's crazy to know that I can watch Bobby Scar bare his psyche in a therapy session on youtube. It takes incredible courage to have this type of dialogue in public and I want to thank you both for driving home the point that even the most sincere and cerebral among us need help unpacking how their mind works and the way they see the world. I've been watching Scar become more philosophical and self-reflective over the past half-decade but this is something else.
Subscribed.
The more I listen to Dr. K. The more I feel like I should go get a therapist/psychiatrist.
Wait till you realize you'll have to go through a lot of to get one you really connect with. It's a tiring process but worth it
The more I listen to Dr K the more I realise I should go to India and join an Ashram.
@@nicholasmiranda6013 That's true for you bro not a lot of other people. Most therapists out there are pretty good in the US. He/She might have to deal with that but probably not.
xboxfullauto1000 wym thats a common problem
xboxfullauto1000 shouldn’t stop you but it’s true
I love how this super introspective conversation also contains the quote, "Shrek is running circles around little kids."
Also "No one understands incompetent blender customers more than me."
So incredibly cool that things like this are being discussed in such depth for such a wide audience.
Love you both!
"One day you're going to be on an airplane, a bell will ring and a flight attendant is going to ask if there is a doctor on board and you are going to be terrified. You are going to wait and cross your fingers because you hope there is someone else." This really resonated with me and I am not sure why. I am not a doctor, but I hope that when my day comes I am prepared to help.
16:22 "I'd rather have a friend." I genuinely teared up hearing that.
I need to start taking notes on a Google doc of all the key ideas in each of these videos, there's so much good content I can't keep track of everything.
Did you start yet?
It's not even about "content" its just there's a lot to learn from these videos I would say is a bit more accurate maybe?
I had to stop watching so much because there's only so much information I can take in. Taking notes of the more impactful parts would be helpful too though.
I think for me just paying 100% attention helps completely then giving time to ruminate and transfer to long term is key, wont nessasarily work for everyone
this cuts deep. i remember when my friend stole my blue eyes ultimate dragon and wouldn't admit it.
I had the same with a shiny Zapdos card. thats rough buddy.
I was that stealing kid, can you and I discuss our mindsets? I'm trying to understand myself more.
@@DEMillerEarl hello! sorry i don't remember the context of the video, but when i was in elementary school i had few friends. And the first time I invited a certain one over he asked if he could have the card. I said no. And I realized it was gone sometime after he left. To make it more obvious, i saw it at his house and asked him about it. and he said he just bought it. back then i didn't have many friends so i just let it slide, and i used to let people walk over me. but it feels like betrayal when someone steals something from you. even if its just a yugioh card. I am no longer friends with this individual, not because of this incident, but you could say it was a red flag. I am curious did you steal from your friends or strangers?
@@TheQwerty103 Very much appreciate the response. Trying to understand my own mindset, in those moments it was complete selfishness and wanting the card because my own "collection" was more important. The other person as a human didn't enter into my thoughts, my mind at the time was so worried about being caught, about how to steal them so I wouldn't be noticed that I didn't question the initial desire to have the card. Just wanted to say I hope your friends betrayal didn't hurt you too badly, as a betrayer I know the pain I've caused in the past. Story directly reminds me of a Gameboy advance I "borrowed" without permission. Intended to return it once the game was done but again, no concern for the other party at all. Her mom actually caught me at school the next day and I said my mom bought it. She obviously knew, confiscated it and said my parents would talk to me after-school. I was in elementary school, early-ish and ran away to a friend's house to hideout. Long story lol, but in looking back stealing was a way to feel your parents cared about you, because anger is better than neglect but until I could recognize that pattern it went out of control. Thanks for the response mate, sorry to bother :)
leff should be on this show
first hungrybox
5 Gods group therapy session
Bring PP on but then he starts interviewing Dr. K instead
@@ericmkelley yes
Dr. K please come on The Reads. You may have found your dharma but more importantly...
Who do you main?
Dr K would be either a marth or a sheik main
probably shaman
An educated monk.
Alan Izarraras he would so be a sheik main
he already a master at the reads
So glad we got a second session with the boy Bobby.
I was shocked that someone so embedded and revered in their community has the same problems with doubt and shame that I do.
We're all gonna get better, friends :)
That insight about "not feeling your structure" actually is VERY significant... That hits me hard. I have that feeling 100% when I feel as if I'm being rejected by whomever is in the moment. Fantastic stuff.
Damn I relate to the key points in this so hard, even tho our experiences are worlds apart different. Thanks for coming on the show Scar. Respect.
Man, I wish I had someone to talk to like this without having to pay out the ass and fit it neatly into 50min segments.
That must be a new record, I started crying by 8:20
Hope you read these comments Scar- I think we have a lot in common, and this really helped me. Thanks for sharing your stuff.
I use to be obsessed with super smash bros melee
It's awesome to see Bobby scar here
I'm imagining his commentating voice: "this is EVO!!"
what happened ?
I also used to love melee. I would go to events every week and watch as many major tournaments as I could. I grew out of it though.
what made you guys grow out of it? what do you guys do now ? sorry im just curious
@@hamzasehavdic I basically realized that I was trash at the game and I wanted to have a reliable future.
I started thinking about who I would be in 5-15 years and decided to be somebody I could be proud of.
No offense, but I would not be proud of myself as a gamer.
Deku Thanks for the response homie
I feel that, I guess you were started with the expectation of trying to be the best and that didnt fit for you
What do you do now for your future? I personally am finishing my degree, and my hobby had become drawing but I see melee as the only game ill touch to "game" with friends.
Do you still play games nowadays too? Sorry im super curious because im in a similar spot.
This talk hit right in the feels. While many of the other interviews get me thinking about the parallels between the interviewees' situations and mine, this delves into a deeper layer of being. Thanks Bobby and Dr. K, an invaluable talk.
This is fucking powerful shit
LOL the Clock Tower bit remimds me so much of the awkwardness of childhood.
Love you Scar
I think this "I don't wanna" lies deeper. It may be coincidental, but I think in all of the cases where "I just don't wanna" it comes from me not knowing what exactly to do, because I want to do it perfectly the first time I do it. So if I don't know any step of a process, and I do not admit that for whatever reason, then I just don't wanna do that whole process. By process I mean approach a girl, get a job or clean up my room.
This makes sense, and not to be a dick but I feel for these things it's never what you think it is. Like it's something that is so obvious but you cant assess the problem from the inside. But that is my self doubt speaking so what do I know.
Had some heavy tears during this one, keep up the great work Dr K
Thank you both for caring so much. This conversation has helped me.
Fuckin hell. When you talked about the person who told themselves they weren’t worthy for a person to love them to mitigate the pain of the loss of that person later on, that hit home super hard. Been struggling to get over my last relationship for 5+ years now, and you nailed one of the main reasons right on the head. I know that if I ever actually opened myself up again and had to go through losing it again, I couldn’t make it. I know I’m not strong enough because I’m barely making it through this time. Being alone for the rest of my life is a fair price to pay in lieu of the possibility that I have to go through the pain I’ve already been through again.
Just here for that delicious dose of daily dharma
Why the fuck did my peripherals pick up dharma as diarrhea
I read dhrama lol
xDDDDD
these videos are such great pieces of content. So reassuring hearing people talk in depth about their minds and making an effort to understand themselves. Love the work Dr. K is doing!
God damn. I have exactly that fear of abandonment. But I feel freaking stuck of how to resolve this. I feel like all roads lead to a dead end.
The root of the problem probably is ever since I was young I had very vivid imagination. I liked reading, writing, drawing, coming up with stuff. In the whole family only my mom had something to do with that. Only she listened to me and liked what I did. The others were like "let the kid do its thing". If I show them a picture or something they were "Bravo" without even looking, or they didnt even pay attention. Only my mom. However she was so overwhelmed with her health problems and work and everything and she didnt have enough time for me.
This is all good that I understand the root. Howeverrr I decided that I cannot blame them. I felt alone in my world, realizing that they are simple people who cant be bothered by such stuff. This made me end up in a situation that I have no one to blame but myself. I felt alone and abandoned, I was part of their world, but they werent part of mine. This maybe lead me to accept that I should not involve people in my world and that it is not important. But I just cannot resolve the root. I still feel like this.
I share. I share a lot with people, but I dont feel that what Im sharing is valuable. I feel like people dont understand me, that I am not worthy to be valued and even if I try to fake it its just not convincing. On logical level I realize that this is simply not true. On emotional level however I just cant resolve it. I cant accept that this isnt true. Maybe its time to visit a therapist. Im just out of tools to make this right. And damn does it drain my energy like crazy. When someone precious to me doesnt write or call for a long time I go into overthinking how they dont give a damn about me, dont value me at all, dont care how I feel. I may dramatize stuff and just go on extremes for reasons that other people just cant see coming. And there is this calm logical state that understands them and how they dont get it why I react like this, but when the other state comes and I feel like shit... Then the ego joins and says "You fking deserve to be loved and appreciated. How can you let them do that." This leads to anger, which engages in conflict with my logic and I either end up blaming myself or the other person. The overthinking intensifies. Overall true idyll of a story.
Anyways. I am probably going to visit a therapist, to try and resolve that somehow. Any comments and ideas are still appreciated though. Thank you beforehand to anyone who engages in this and thanks to Dr. K for all the amazing content. His sessions helped me so much that I dont even know how to thank him properly. Peace.
go for it man therapy works i can vouch
Thank you for expressing this
I really enjoy listening to this one, but what really got me thinking is the little bit Dr. K talked about someone else with social anxiety. The "I don't wanna" part resonates with me. I've always had social anxiety and have improved it immensely, but I'm still wondering if there is a video of Dr. K talking more about social anxiety?
It is just me or Bobby is as expressive or even more than Jim Carry?
I love you both so much. Both episodes were amazing.
Ohh Bobby is wearing an Ertegun shirt from Carole and Tuesday.
Fed Ayken YES
IKR i just noticed that too
Oh my gosh. Someone messed with MY laser pen, too. You're not alone, People's Champ.
This came at the perfect time. Thank you so much for what you do!
24:00 - 28:00 is a great analysis that I think every person should hear at some point in their life.
I just don't wanna do my homework so I watch this video.
I don’t feel like anyone’s safe. Even people I have every reason to believe are completely safe.. knowing that logically just doesn’t equate to feeling that they are. I’m struggling to get close enough to people to challenge that because I feel like I need to withdraw before what feels like the inevitable happens - when they decide I’m not worth the effort because I’ve got so many rampant issues & in my mind I’m not that interesting to begin with so it just feels like anyone worth having around, anyone with good intentions will leave. It’s really like a loop I’m trying to force my way out of but it doesn’t take much to reinforce how I feel even when I know better. Feel completely stuck & honestly scared.
I could have written this myself.
8 minutes in and im crying. good.
I didn't cry, but what they had talked to up til this point is the embodiment of what I felt in my childhood.
I couldn't understand then, but I do understand now.
It hurts because we know his pain.
very relateable...thanks for sharing both of you!
Maybe twitch chat relates more to anxiety or depression, and while we have an epidemic in our society, talking about dharma has completely changed my life and has gotten me out of a downward spiral.
For the longest time I felt that my life had no meaning other than what I gave it, and I came to the conclusion I should almost maximize hedonistic experiences.
After I started to understand how much I loved other people, and would do for them many magnitudes more than what I would do for myself, I've been able recontextualize my whole life with how it relates to helping others.
I've honestly completely been able to completly change my sense of life purpose, and I believe I've found what I am meant to do in life. Twich chat may not realize it now but some day they are going to understand how life changing and important finding your dharma is.
Brenden w if you practice the alternate nostril breathing or other meditation practice for 6 months consistently, there will be another boost. Just as powerful as understanding your dharma.
This is the deepest shit.. ive ever listened to..
This guy is basically me.... i cant believe what im hearing.
I relate SO hard to the idea that a lot of my generalized anxiety comes from my awareness of the general state of the world & this country (US) & the fact that literally almost no one in power is doing anything to address systemic issues that are actually a threat to our species survival, as well as basically dooming hundreds of millions of people even just within my lifetime. Also, being a socialist/communist/Marxist/anarchist in America comes with its own very special kind of anxiety, because if you are one & you know history, you know that this country has led the way in globally, systematically massacring MILLIONS of people who believe roughly what you believe in order to prevent the class hierarchy from ever being dissolved. You know about the labor activists who have been essentially treated like enemy combatants (look up the Battle of Blair Mountain for perhaps the most significant among many examples). You know about the FBI & CIA murdering the Black Panthers, murdering MLK Jr.. You know that things may be peaceful for you today, but that’s mostly because since the 1970s the left & organized labor have been crushed out of existence, & that if/when you ever actually start to act in service of your ideals, the moment a movement/party you’re a part of become a real threat to power that could actually change things, the most powerful people in this country will do what they’ve always done & will use whatever violence, & propaganda about how you’re evil & hate freedom & want to destroy our society, & so on- whatever is necessary to get rid of you, or at very least to mislead people about what you believe & lead them to hate & persecute you.
It happened during the Civil Rights movement, it happened during the women’s suffrage movement, it happened to leftists throughout the Cold War, it happened on a small scale to Occupy, & now it’s happening to BLM, despite the fact that they literally just want police to stop disproportionately murdering black people. We live stuck between a rock & a hard place where either we will stay marginal & powerless, & the ruling class will continue to dominate our society, & mass poverty will continue to expand, & we won’t have real democracy, & we won’t be able to stop climate change from snowballing out of control, & our civil rights will erode like they’ve done since 2000 (with the NDAA, Patriot Act, mass surveillance, etc.), fascists will continue to gain power (because if the left doesn’t provide desperate poor/working class people with a material analysis that explains the true origins of their problems, they’ll go to the people who WILL, which will be those who scapegoat immigrants, refugees, black people, “cultural Marxism,” secret communist billionaires [lol at the concept, but they actually believe it], feminism, & so on)… OR, people will start to wake up, organize, push back against these horrible forces of reaction, & undiluted ego, & sociopathic ideology, & then we will potentially end up being persecuted & brutalized in a lot of horrific ways, just like historically we were criminalized & exiled, or imprisoned, or being targeted & attacked by blackshirt types (who we already see in the US in the form of far right street gangs like the Proud Boys) & having the police side with the fascist aggressors, & so on…
Overall I’ve always believed my generalized anxiety is rooted in physiology- that my adrenal/norepinephrine systems are hyperactive & give me a very high baseline of anxiety regardless of what I think or whether I worry… But some parts of our mind are subconscious, & it’s not a trivial question to figure out whether or the chicken or the egg comes first. Do I worry about these very real big picture fears & concerns more because of my hyperactive adrenergic channels, or have I developed hyperactive adrenergic (& perhaps cortisol) channels because since I was like 15 I’ve had this perfectly rational awareness that people like me have historically been stigmatized as some kind of agents of evil, hated “others” who don’t deserve to live, & every time I see signs of Red Scare type tendencies coming back (or, even worse, signs that we’re on track to parallel the early 1920s Weimar Republic) I am terrified of where we may be headed.
But more generally than these fears that are specific to being a socialist, I wonder just how close to universal the fear is that is associated with being aware of massive, cataclysmic impending problems (like climate change, or the failed handling of the pandemic & people refusing to respect public health policies leading to continual resurgences, or global water shortages, etc.) and also being extremely aware that the people who have the power to fix them have overwhelmingly refused to even attempt to do so, because they’re only concerned with serving the economic interests of the elite who finance them. I have to think that this has to weigh unimaginably on the kids/teens who are growing up in the same world I did, except for further & further along on the timeline of the disasters, with less & less hope that anything can be done to stop them at this point. I mean there’s a reason we talk about the Doomer generation(s)… And I’m very thankful that the way a lot of young people cope with this reality is by becoming mobilized, becoming conscious & active & doing whatever they feel they can do, because the moment we stop acting as though a good future is possible, it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy where we guarantee that it won’t be, even if it could’ve been. But this is not a natural condition for human beings to live in, & as things get worse (which they’re pretty certain to before they can get better, since any attempt to improve them will be met with resistance & reactionism) I just wonder how young people will cope. My worry, on that front, is that ideas like simulation theory (the belief that our world isn’t actually real & this is all just an unbelievably elaborate & detailed computer game) will become more & more popular, because they serve as a mental shield… If our world isn’t real, if other people are just NPCs (or at least are players whose real existence isn’t inside the simulation), then when Americans, many of whom will be relatively insulated from a lot of the calamity of climate change, see news footage about literally hundreds of millions of people around the entire planet being displaced from their homes by sea level rise, dying from all kinds of disasters, being gunned down at our borders as they desperately try to get to somewhere safe, they can comfort themselves by telling themselves it’s not real, distancing them from a harsh & unacceptable reality. It’s more important than ever in human history that we don’t find ways to disconnect from reality, to downplay our problems, or distract ourselves, & there are a lot of people- even pretty smart people- who I think will succumb to delusions (or very happily accept them as a pain-killer) if it makes them feel they can just keep on living as normal in a world that is anything but. I think the only way we’re going to find a path to decent survival in the long-run is if we move in the exact opposite direction, towards acknowledging & empathizing with the humanity of everyone, no matter how different they are from us, connecting with our higher self & letting it take the wheel rather than sinking deeper into ego & reactivity, & acting on the basis that the manifest world of 4D spacetime we share is absolutely real & important & meaningful (even if we hold spiritual beliefs that there is a deeper layer beneath the surface & in that respect it is not the “ground of being-“ a very different concept with very different implications for our behavior than “this is all just a game so who care”).
i liked your rant, i pretty much agree with everything you said, good luck bud, try and make the best of flesh existence
holy shit, I fully identify with the "just dont wanna" issue. with the do I feel like "did i fool all those people" I think everyone just becomes more skeptical of me as a being.
DUDE. SO RELATABLE and I'm only 25 minutes in
Where were you 10/20 years ago? that's kind of content could helped me back then. It is a little late know. Still interesting af. Gimme some time i'm gonna watch them all.
it's never too late :)
1:12:15 'a sh*t cake with a gold nugget on top'
hilarious
Wavedashing is like riding a bike: you slide off a cliff and die.
i feel this guy, i too protect myself for no reason
Doctor K. is big time now. No way he booked The Man in the Yellow Hat.
20:07 Well why don't parents prepare 5 year olds then? Had his parents told him: you know, 8yolds will tell you something that is not true, this could have been avoided.
It seems that kids are just thrown at obstacles and if they cannot cope, nobody cares. If I was a parent and I saw my child couldn't cope, I would try my best to teach it instead of looking at its suffering and saying to myself that the child had to figure out itself.
gonna enjoy watching this again
Ay man, i just wanted to thank you!
He described exactly what my dad was like. Surreal.
What does Dr. K mean when he says "some scar"? Like at 23:44
Samskara, buddhist concept
I might be saying this wrong, but a sumskar is basically a deep traumatic experience that has stuck with you throughout your life
Yeah, it's confusing because he's talking to Bobby Scar but it's just like @@NitehawkGaming explains.
the samSKARa IS a scar :0 !!!!!!!!!
watching scar get triggered over being called irritable is the funniest thing ive ever seen
Damn this episode is hitting different.
I appreciate ya so much Scar
Yo, did he just walk up, slowly, and introspect?
Man, this sentence about that he had a long road ahead of him got me kind of worried 😅 I really want to do more for myself instead of looking for comforting words, but I find it really scary to let out my emotions.
I know that I actually can make the right decisions like wtf am I even doing, wtf
24:20 Does anyone know what interview Dr K. is referring to about anxious guy embarrassed to get a job application?? I think that might be a big one for me if anyone can help!
I think that was a story from someone he saw irl at his practice, not something on the channel.
a better word for "trying" in this conversation is "forcing".
1:24:00 meditation starts
What video at 26:00 do they talk about? Sounds interesting
Not sure what it is but something about these talks with bobby are really hard for me to follow and understand
Jedith same here. Uncanny valley alarms are ringing like in the destiny interview.
Lost Sea right... normally I am fully engaged and can relate with all of Dr. K’s talks but these ones seem to be very vague and talking broadly?
Man... the justdontwana hit home.
Is it normal to have dream-like "visions" when meditating? Not thoughts, more like random uncontrollable "movies", like dreams. I had 3 of those in 15 minutes today.
RoundPiano do you get proper sleep? Sounds like you’re going into REM, meaning you’re starting to slightly dream.
I get the feeling that what you're describing isn't really meditation but immersion in thought, like a day-dreaming state your mind enters when it lacks other stimulus. I get that too when I'm not mindful
@@SmartOlja yeah, it's not meditation. It happens for like 30-60 seconds when I'm sitting down to meditate. Like, 'between' meditation, I guess. I just didn't know those mini-dreams could even happen and I haven't been abled to find stuff about it online.
Jesus christ Bobby, are you me?
Even his answer is yes. 😂
17:56 - Judgements for my younger self
I feel like everybody dosnt like me because they can see something messed up about me that i cant see
Bobby Scar? More like Bobby Samskar, amirite?
Fax no printah
Fax no printah
Is there a way to get a therapist buddy that is Dr. K approved? Im finding the process of finding a good one daunting.
Where do you find good therapist?
It would be honor if you guys showed me.
I am highly thankful for these videos, they expose me.
I am wondering if anyone else feels like bobby is a raid boss.
40:30 Bobby has a high "Shivers" stat
You gotta risk it for the biscuit.
I said it in spainish how much clearer can I get?
Bobby looks like Eddie Kasprak from IT!!!!
Is Dr K saying "sumscar"?
Samskara
@@Madlib7 thank you buddy
18:29 the smashboards posts flashback
Can you talk about Hypochondria? With the new Corona Virus I'm feeling very uncomfortable.
Anyone else feel like this interview was kind of hard to follow along with? Like I feel like they float around so many topics in this and don't really stay on one thing for most of the video
Please get Leffen on the show :0
WHAAAAT WHAT!?!? THIS EXISTS?
23:45 so this is why i still feel like i'm 13 years old...
i tried the nostril thing, but my nostrils dont switch at all. whats going on
44:49 going to reference this later, much thanks
* 45:47
people keep saying that leffen should go on here. i think hungrybox should be first.
what does the double bind thing mean?
ruclips.net/video/vnSiJOOdo30/видео.html
@@FlavioGaming thank you!
Just want to mention that there is a little mistake in your Disclaimer, it says "In the United States and you or a loved one are..." I guess you want to say "...if you or a loved one..."
UNION KING
24:50
He kinda looks like Devin Nash I have no idea why
Pittas??? Maybe
I think you need a subreddit
20:17
Corpus Callosum Gang!
Doctor k, I've been banned again!
I want mang0 here
We need chillin on here in the worst way.
mike ross pls
Why do Dr K's eyes go to the left so much, like what is he looking at?
Probably his Twitch chat on a second monitor. Bobby being on the screen in front of him
Is Bobby really a Vata? Sure everyone is at least a little of all 3 doshas but I don't see Bobby as a Vata
I feel like everyone is vata so confusing
I think he's VERY Pitah. Pitah are people who hang onto something and don't let it go until it's done and then move onto something new. I don't think he's much vata...
@@Mdude181 Because Dr.K explained vata the most so far probably haha
Who's Whoami, need to get to the bottom of that relationship.
WHOAMI = WHO AM I?
@@FFMAN3 WHOA MI
tuanisthename w HO ami?
Would anyone else like to see Dr. K and pewdiepie have a discussion?
I just think it could show an interesting contrast between daily streaming and daily video production.
Would be great, but Pewdiepie is already such a successful person, hes also married now.
dr. jordan b. peterson has already treated pewdiepie
@@tuanisthename would love to see JP and drk talk ♥️