What (Not) to Do with Criticism
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- Опубликовано: 22 мар 2022
- When we receive criticism from someone it's easy to think that we can either put up our fists and fight it or let it defeat us. But are those really the only two options?
Today, Fr. Mike walks us through the third option when being criticized and how to receive a negative comment well and with charity.
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Hmmm......I thought the point of Twitter is to give our opinions. You have just as much right to express your thoughts as anyone else. Makes me want to see the movie! 😊
I think this is the one thing about Fr. Mike's example that was a bit puzzling to me. I felt that he could have, at the very least, acknowledged that he has a right to express an opinion. Just as the other person had the right to express their opinion (telling Fr. Mike his opinion on movies wasn't asked for). I agree with Fr. Mike on everything he said this video, but I, personally, feel it would have been productive for him to also mention the fact that expressing an opinion is not an inherently bad thing. And while some "critiques" may be true, it is also important to understand as a person, that at times, it isn't necessary to give said critiques, or to express them in the ways people do (the way we say things, our choice of words, the tone we use all play into this idea).
I see it in two ways:
1) As he said in the video, sometimes opinions/critiques have truth to them, and we should accept that. We also should be able to disregard the things that are NOT truthful.
2) This doesn't necessarily mean that there are NO healthy or unhealthy ways to present opinions and critiques. Some ways of doing it (tone, word choice, timing of a critique, necessity of the critique itself) are unecessary and may be provocative (which I understand is highly controversial, as it also relies heavily on how someone received a critique; see point 1 above, this is a circle!)
@@jgmez98 Excellent points. I couldn't have expressed them better. This contextualises the video properly. I feel your comments convey more wisdom than the source material (which, ironically, I suppose is a critique in itself of this video).
Amen sista! I agree.
Exactly my thought. But Twitter is not exactly a place you can freely express yourself on now is it?
I think it depends on the criticism- constructive or simply mean and useless. I always question the intent. If the criticism is not about what you consciously did that warrants an apology on your part but rather on a harmless opinion you expressed, the other person is simply picking on you. You have every right to express your opinion. It’s not you, Father Mike…it’s the other person. It’s okay not to take it and let it roll and pray for the critic because first, you don’t personally know the critic; secondly, the intent is not to uplift or guide or create a positive change; and lastly, we don’t know what that person is going through. I wouldn’t give that comment much thought. Like the golden rule, if you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say it. I would treat that criticism as if it’s not said at all.
I've a horrible habit of getting angry at others when I receive criticism. Thank you Fr. Mike for speaking to my heart and head today. I needed this.
I think many of us do. My blood boils everytime. In the past I would respond with an insult or strong language or filthy language. But now, I pause and try my best to make my statement not to sound too aggressive or defensive.
I really, truly, deeply appreciate the point of this video. However, we should not overlook an important fact. Fr Mike is not just qualified to comment on Batman films, but is probably one of the most qualified people to comment on them. "Batman...could stop criminals, save lives, and protect the innocent. I wanted to be Batman...I wanted to be as strong and as fast as Batman" ~Fr. Mike Schmitz (Pray Decide and Don't Worry). Batman literally helped to form our very own Fr. Mike Schmitz -- he is like Bruce Wayne. Haters need not apply, though they are our friends. God bless, Fr. Mike! 😋
Well said!
Fr. auditioned for the Robin role in Batman Forever, I love that story!
@@mytwocents7303 Exactly! [See, for example, "Caffeinated Conversations with Fr. Mike Schmitz" on Ascension.] Can't blame them for going with Chris O'Donnell, a fellow Catholic -- he was all the rage back then. (Did you ever see 1999's The Bachelor? lol.) God bless.
@@seans.1331 Oh how funny and apropos--"Caffeinated Conversations"! Lol. I will have to check those out.
If "they" don't know you're a geek for Marvel and DC comics... they don't know that you just were expressing your opinion and you have a right. You can express your feelings anytime! 👍
I love what you have to say about criticism but you had the right to tweet you thought about Batman and if that person didn't feel the need for it he should have ignored your tweet. He was being rude and unkind. God bless you for handling it so maturely and giving us a great lesson.
My critique of you is… you are not great, you are GREAT! God bless you Fr. Mike! 🙏✝️❤️😇
Please do give us your advice on what movies are good to watch; I welcome and appreciate your input, father Mike! Thank you 🙏
When I get online criticism that is untrue, I remember that people with mental or spiritual disorders like to pull people down online. ... I would always value Fr. Schmitz's advice even if it is unasked for.
Me too!
"Being criticized does not take away my relationship with The Father." I love that and realize when I don't remind myself of that, I'm not operating from a place of love, and it's much harder to take the criticism. Thanks, Fr. Mike!!!
PS, I don't like gritty Batman movies, but you're totally allowed to like them! As a Catholic Christian woman, I automatically DO want priest's opinions about lots of things lol!
What’s amazing about being in the US is the allowance of free speech, the ability to voice our opinions and have a free exchange of ideas and to learn from each other(though big tech/government is beginning to infringe on that). This is especially true on social media where we can share ideas with people all over the world. Don’t ever listen to someone that says we don’t care about your opinion.
Yeah that happened to me
I love Jesus so much that .. as a teen
I receive criticism from my school mates calling me Jesus freak, mad, and other stuff ... That didn't make me sad but it had struck me suddenly then I remembered the Bible verse that say "when people call you lunatic or get ashamed in my name .. you will inherit the eternal crown" so yeah so now it is completely ok when someone criticize me for my faith
Praise the lord ❤️✝️
Father Mike, you're a treasure.
I’ve struggled with taking things personal. Now with this video; I don’t have to struggle anymore. Thank you Father Mike. God bless.
Thank you for this.. I have a co-worker who lends her "advice". And yes, I wanted to punch her (I didn't). She accused me of things that never happened and she has no clue of what I do. On top of it, she doesn't give me detailed information. So basically, she hasn't said anything worthwhile. But... it stole my joy. I even started to get anxiety over it. I prayed hard and now I don't care. I'll keep close with God, do my work, like always and next time she gives "advice", I'll tell her thank you. I pray for her too. 🙏 😁
Great homily. Criticism can sting. I ask myself, Is it true? If so, how do I need to change? If not, it's the other person's problem and I don't own it. It was good to hear you talk about your embarrassment and sense of rejection to help the rest of us out! Thank you and God bless you.
It also depends on how the person expresses the critique. It's annoying when someone criticizes you with a condescending tone or via a bad humiliation.
But a great joy if the critique is expressed in a sincere and friendly way.
The critique has in both cases a humbling aspect of accepting the own mistake/fault. The difference is that the second way resonates more positively.
Jesus! Please help me to remember these words. Thank you Father
Thank you Father for this video. This hit home "unasked advice is criticism", I have never thought it that way. I thought I was helping, but I suppose from the receiving end, I am criticizing. I will be mindful going forward. THANK YOU!!
An afterthought, if my nephew is going downtown wearing expensive gear that shouts "rob me", should I not say anything? Or if I see spinach stuck on your teeth, should I ignore and keep quiet? Similarly, your cretic of Batman save me the cost and time because I don't like dark movies. So wouldn't the problem be the person not wanting to receive your opinion? You should have your opinion expressed and people can take it or leave it, they should not tell you to keep it to yourself ... my opinion. :)
Correct me Fr.If I’m wrong but your intent is in addressing a catholic audience. So there is a natural & logical presumption that most online catholics do want to know what you think. The question is already there and you answered it🕯👍🏼
I'm not Catholic and I want to know, too. See my post.
Mind blowing takeaway that made me pause when it comes to criticism: “you always win” thank you Father Mike !
Good topic, every year when I get s performance appraisal at work, I almost have a panic attack. I never know whether to defend myself or just listen and say nothing. Usually I just listen. Hard to know if they're being overly critical or I'm being overly sensitive. I do pray about it and realize it is just a job.
This is timely. My sister and I are in the verge of ending our relationship forever due to us each criticizing one another without resolution and her husband fueling the hurt and anger. I had asked God to help us 3 self righteous persons out of this tragic corner and then came across this video. Thank you Fr Mike, this is the first step for me to see my part.
The truth is, the person that said that to you is so boring. You're a great person. Greetings from Brazil 🇧🇷🇧🇷
Humility is one of the words that define you, Fr. Mike. Thank you. You are always an inspiration!
This is really good advice. I think it also just hurts when someone is rude to us; it's OK to accept that too! And I'm sorry you had someone be rude to you on Twitter!
Fr. mike you have a right to your opinion on social media or anywhere else. People can disagree and that is their right. True, no one asked for your opinion, but then neither did you ask for theirs. It works both ways. So whenever something like that happens to me I just think, ok they have a different take, but it still doesn’t make mine any less. Hope that makes sense. You are awesome. I got my son to watch your videos and he has been asking me questions. He tells me he can really relate to you. He’s fallen away from the church since he has been in the marine corps the last 18 yrs. But something is stirring in him and I pray for him to come back. Thanks for your engaging personality which has caught his attention.
Peace and all good
Alexandra
Prayers for your son
Those people insulted about your movie opinion. Shame on them. A Christian opinion on movies is so needed. Too many secular opinions out there. You are a gift father!
Okay but you had every right to give an opinion. I for one want to hear Fr. Mike's opinions on movies!
You have a gift Father, it's a gift that only God can give. Your gift is love and at times tolerance of others. We are all entitled to our own opinions, but that does not make us right or wrong. I will continue to watch your videos because I know your heart is always in the right place. Many people on the road of life are simply angry and always looking for a fight. We have another choice in life other then fight or flight. We listen to each other and know God loves us if we keep our hearts pure.
Father Mike, you are a treasure! I love your sense of humor. Those folks on Twitter don't know what they're missing. Here's my 2 cents (since you asked!): I wouldn't be surprised if you 'felt' , while you were posting, like just some guy with an opinion to mull over, but you were 'perceived' by the responder as commenting from your role as priest, and that's where the jarring nature of the response came from-? You were shut down from just participating in a collective discussion of the movie. As a parent (also!), I experience that. Younger folks don't always want to see us as "one of the guys/girls" even though inside we feel younger, and are able to interact on that level. Anyway, maybe I'm off-base. It always stings a little to be rejected, but I think this person was rejecting more than you, they were rejecting some part of what you stand for, which is sad for them. I know you weren't terribly put off by this experience and used it as a springboard for reflection; just wanted to unpack the situation a bit. Maybe my point is also that being aware of the other person's point of view can sometimes help us diffuse our own sense of indignation: in truth, they are not really angry with us, but with an image of us (or someone else from their past who we remind them of). I know you have already prayed for this individual. May God bless them and you! Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us. This is an area I struggle with at times.
I totally agree - the sin in humanity has this need to not want to be confronted with God and His people so we want to silence them
Father, we want more of your movie reviews
Thank you for the advice Fr. Mike! This is so helpful! But for the record - your opinion on a movie does matter to a lot of us! Thanks for sharing it!
I loved this video, so full of God given wisdom. I respect everyone's comments, and I will humbly state mine. Father Mike, I took your advice as a gift to us all, because you truly care for your flock. You were giving me, and all of us your opinion out of wisdom and also the kindness of your heart. What we do with that information is then up to us. Your advice and movie review was greatly appreciated!! Thank you for all your time, effort, and prayers. Thank you for steering us in the right direction, towards our loving Father in Heaven, and our Lord Jesus Christ. May God Bless us all.
Father here sending you lots of love from Muscat, Oman. You are very inspiring😊 thank you 🙏
Hi Father I enjoyed this post but saddened greatly by the need for someone to tell you what they did. I believe that if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say it, therefore there is and was no need for their comment.
Thank you for always finding value in other people’s words. You are a better person than I will ever be.
If you want to give your comment or opinions about a movie go for it you have every right to do so as long as it’s not hurting anyone Father Mike don’t let no one ever shut you up and try to put you in a corner their criticism of your comment in regards to the movie don’t take it personal and if you want to comment in the review section continue to do so you don’t have to ask for their permission to do so. God bless you Father Mike.
I am so grateful for the practical advice! My sister and I got into an argument yesterday because I had really bad phrasing and she fought my criticism; then, I was being criticized. It seemed so silly to be arguing about a small thing because of our prides
Father Mike, there are two forms of criticism. One positive and one negative. First one is to teach growth and build a positive relation ship between the Master and Student. The latter is to destroy the person who is developing life skills and/or a moral background. This is created through jealousy/envy. Some feel more powerful in the light of creating subservient qualities in others. To speak to one about their feelings that a movie is lending towards the dark side is an opinion which everyone is entitled. To act someone's opinion is not criticism it is control. Just my opinion. By the way, if this person does not like critiquing from a Priest, why are they following you on Twitter? Anyway, blessings!
You also have a right to your opinion. You liked this movie and had a right to say so. Someone else did not, and they have a right to that view. God bless, and thank you for the video.
Thanks! I still have concerns about paying for and listening to blasphemy. It really limits options with modern entertainment.
I’m going to start rotations soon and my preceptors are going to grill me. This video came in perfectly.
This is THE BEST talk on this topic! Worth listening and re-listening! It has great depth and truth. Thank you Father!
(I also look forward to picking up again the Bible in a Year. Very soon). ❤️
What the person said may be partly true but I believe it is also partly your job as well. As a spiritual leader you should be telling us what is good and not good for us and our children.
Also, I'm in the middle of a struggle with conversation from protestant to Catholicism so your talks are helping me greatly. Thank you so much Father. And calling you Father is already a huge step for me. Thank you for what your doing. God Bless...
Just respond; Thank you for your thoughtful opinion, I’ll take that in consideration.
Hmm... strange. I am by no means a social media guru, but I thought the very purpose of twitter was to share opinions. I would much more prefer a movie critique from someone I respected than from someone I did not. I understand that is not the true gist of this video and I do get the point Fr. Mike is making.
Father, Pray for us who struggle with this
For the record: I do like to see reviews (movies, games, books, etc) from (devout) Catholic reviewers :)
I like hearing your opinions on movies and TV shows. Good fiction often reveals truer truths than real life.
Criticism is fine. My issue is with people that love criticizing others but can't take criticism themselves.
I have a few people in my life who are like this. It can be frustrating
Too many people.
So true
I appreciate constructive criticism as it is helpful; being corrected, I stand corrected. Being told to jump off a bridge, I ignore. 😉 God bless you, Father!❣️
And remember...it is an opinion, not necessarily fact.
@@kathy2trips Yes! 👍😊
Father Mike, God Bless you and Bless you ♥♥♥ I have been pondering criticism from a much-loved family member, who just wants her space. And I understand that, but the more I pondered this, the more it hurt, but just my feelings, because I knew that good was coming from this. And then I listen to THIS, and it was like a lightbulb moment. I am SO grateful to God for you.
Father Mike likes to teach us how to live up to the standards of God through His Grace!!! True life is lived in this way, not in making it easier or lowering it to the level of society’s wishes!!!
Fr. auditioned for the Robin role in Batman Forever, I love that story! The critic must have missed the relevance.
it goes a little deeper I feel. Perhaps not about exploring the truth, but accepting it. The key here is acceptance.
That's saint level patience and generosity right there. Rest of us mere mortals would fire back and tell that Twitter random where to go!
Thank you, Fr. Mike! This is very helpful. Thank you for blessing us with your wisdom. God bless you always!
Sometimes I forget that Father Mike is just a normal person so the thought of him going to the movies brings a big smile to my face. I agree Father, I think The Batman was the best Batman movie to date.
Fr. I am so glad you enjoyed the Batman movie! You deserve to relax and express your opinion about the movie as well
I totally love how you explained it with folksy speech: 'Why did you say that to me that, Bro??!
It really captured the the combination hurt + confusion. It captured it much more than if you had tried to explain it by describing it.
In a simple note, I admire you and I do receive well your point of view on a movie as you being a man who follows the Lord to the heart, is just as human as I am and watch the movies I would watch. And yes, we should consider other people's feelings when we share an opinion or criticism as well as when we receive it. Thank You Fr. Mike for being a wise servant of the Lord
Great message on receiving criticism. That said, I ONLY agreed to watch the Batman with my adult son based on your quick tweet, Father. We enjoyed it and its message from vigilantism to advocate. THANK YOU!
Great vid this helped me at the moment and also I didn’t know you were a Batman fan that so cool
I agree with you. Finding the truth in everything gives you peace.
Everyone now goes to twitter to find the guy who commented 😂😂😂
I don’t have twitter but if I did I’d certainly be tempted to do just that! 🙄🤦🏽♀️
😂🤣😂
Anger is the first born of pride. IMHO. Thanks for the insite.
Great message!
Thank you Fr. Mike Schmitz
Awwww Fr Mike I love you so much. I always want to fight too, and so do my kids. Thank you for your honesty & humility 🧡
Thank you Fr. Mike, I really needed this. 😃
This spoke to me surprisingly very personally. So thanks so much for the vid!
Love it! Beautiful advice!
Thanks Fr. Mike for this video! I needed it a lot and it helped me so much to put things on perspective! I love to watch contents like this 💜 God Bless! 🙏
Thank you, Fr. Mike. God bless and protect you.
I get Fr. Mike's point in general. However, as a Catholic, having a priest express their opinion of a movie is very valuable to me! Especially somehow as thoughtful and holy as Fr. Mike. Bishop Barron has been doing this for years and I think it's been great.
It is so hard not to respond vs letting it go. You are the best Father Mike!❤️
Thanks for the awesome advice as always. God bless.
I really needed this perspective today, thank you!
Your videos are so inspiring. I would have never thought of looking at criticism from this point view. I usually get stuck at the fight. I'm a work in progress.
Thank you, Fr Mike!😊
Great perspective, appreciated.
Hi Father Mike, I am really thankful for all of your videos. I have one special request I am hoping you can tackle in the near future. Could you provide us with a video on why We Catholic Christians accept the 7 Deuterocanonical Books as part of the Inspired Word of God please? I just really feel that you could probably help a lot of Catholic Christians understand this one better and help us be more equipped with offering a very good but simple reference to go to by sharing it with our non-Catholic Christian Brothers and Sisters in Christ when this topic comes up amongst one another. If You do make this video I want to go ahead and just Thank You so Much in advance!! God Bless You.
Thanks father Mike 😊
Thank you for showing that its OK to be wrong. I haven't seen the movie, I try and avoid Hollywood and all their works, including the previews before the main show.
Especially, when trying to grow in holiness during Lent. God Bless you Father. May you continue to grow in holiness.
Thank you Father Mike. I really need to hear this today. It was almost like perfect timing. God's timing. Thank you!
Also loving your Bible in Year podcast. On most days, it really hits home.
Thank you Father Mike! Your videos inspires me. God Bless!
Thank you for you vidéo Father. It can be difficult to receive criticism especially if you have low self esteem or struggle with depression . I appreciate your insight and look forward to more of your videos.
Seems that in your spirit of grace(fullness) you are missing a more fundamental truth. No one is really asked for their opinion on Twitter, because it's a social media platform where everyone is given the opportunity to have equal voice on anything they choose. It is also not true for the person who critized you to say that "we" don't need your opinion because that person doesn't speak for the whole of Twitter. If he or she was being honest, and not malicious towards you as a priest, then he or she would have said that they (alone) don't need your opinion.
In Christ, Andrew
Thanks for opening my mind to a new way of looking at any criticism I receive.
Great advice. Not easy. But great advice!
Thank you Fr.Mike!!! i love your videos!!!!!
Thank-you Father you help me I enjoy you keep up the Good work
Thank You! God Bless❤
This really spoke to me. Thank you for sharing 💜.
This message was for me
I love and enjoy your every word. I'm not on Twitter or the other more popular social media apps but if I was I would enjoy all you thoughts on all topics.
LOL!! Father I love your sense of humor! Thanks you so much for this. I needed to hear that. Confessed that sin yesterday :) Now I know how to avoid it also.
Thank you for your wisdom. You’re such a gift!
Amen thank you 😊
so spot on and I consider the source also.
I needed to hear this today… THANK YOU Fr Mike!!!! THANK YOU Ascension!!!
You are a Super Hero fan. I appreciate your opinion on SH movies.
Rock On. God Bless