Your videos helped me so much and recently too a "family" member tried to bait me into an argument and I remembered what you said in a few of your videos thank you!!!
If only it was that simple. I’m not disagreeing per se. I’m simply saying with the range of emotions we all go through it isn’t always so easy to simply be happy and move on.
@@CarolDudeck-bl7kz I was / am dealing with this as well.... It's like a slow disassembling of my heart. Every day I think of someone trying to tell my children I'm a bad human, lie about how much I love them and it rips my apart. The BEST thing I've done is get them into counseling immediately. I wrote a very long email in the beginning voicing my concerns and then left them alone. It only took about 7 months for the counselor to see what was happening.
nancy sungyun same. At first, I worried over people believing it, and then one of these times of worry I remembered one of my friends who told me about when the narc was tellings lies about me to her. She said “I didn’t believe it. It didn’t sound like you. I was like ‘why would she do that?’” and then went down all of these things that went through her head about why she didn’t believe it. It made me realize not to give a shit about the people who would believe it b/c those people don’t know me at all.
Same thing was done to me and I hate how people would look at.me as if I did something when he was the problem when he cheated and lied and brou th t down my name with friends family and people in my sons school.....
I wish I would’ve seen this video 4 yrs ago, I did the whole angry defending myself and shouting my truth to the rooftops even on fb and it completely backfired. I had to let go of and block many past people, friends and even some family members off my fb and out of my life because I didn’t know how to handle the smear campaign and their negativity towards me. But now I just keep to myself, only hang out with people who believe in me and are positive with me and I don’t post anything about my issues on fb anymore. I’m 47 yrs old. If people don’t believe me about myself they don’t need to be in my life. People who believe me and respect me will understand.
Well said. I'm in the midst of the smear campaign myself. I have lost it as far as my anger goes. I actually have neighbors coming to me telling me what he's saying to other neighbors that barely know me. I can just imagine what he's saying to his family. I'm slowly inching on but sometimes it just hits me like a rock again. I left this jerk anyways. But I like learning why I left him, what I sensed, and not giving into the BS that he tried to feed me when he cheated and lied in my face. Instead of sticking by me during one of my little moments and trying to see if he could work things out. Went off to his ex-wife again who then contacted me and made fun of me. So I'll have no closure in this relationship because he'll never say he's wrong. He's an empty little boy who only cares about his balls and his Jeep and will never get his crap together any further than it is. And where it is today is where I helped him to get. He just doesn't want to keep climbing. So I'm hoping these videos are going to help keep me calm and happy and moving on! But well said what you said!
@@cindy914 lol I had to laugh when you said he only cares about his balls and his Jeep…if that’s the only take away you had from him he’s better off with his laughing ex. Let her take care of his balls so you can find a real man who takes care of you. Then both of you can sit back and laugh at both of them while his ex is still playing grab balls with him and taking back your sloppy seconds and her sloppy thirds. Lol that’s how I like to deal with people in my head who did me wrong including past lovers. I make fun of the most take away I had from experiencing them which was mostly heartache and misery and then make up funny stories in my head about the poor souls dealing with them now and the burdens on their life they are putting on them while they pretend they won the prize heffer by stealing them from me. I’m like, really? You think you won? Lmao!!!
Just now moving out of a narcissistic abusive relationship. The smear campaign is real. My mom taught me long ago to tell those that are determined to hurts us, just say "Do your harm. Ill be fine"
Never had a smear campaign before this last encounter tbh and it was so weird how they told half truths to make themselves look like the victim but couldn't keep their story straight so every time they spoke out was a different story smh. Definitely handled it wrong tbh but I can't stand when people lie on my name
Agreed! But when I do slip up and take the bait, I'm not going to beat myself up for it. If nothing else, I'm getting more verification of the evil I'm dealing with and I can move on faster from it
I like her content but the suggestion of staying silent is destructive If you stay silent they smear you more and keep smearing you They also start telling others you were silent because all the lies they’re speaking about you are the truth They don’t stop until you’re ruined Legal action, firmly defending yourself, self care, seeking support is what works during this hard time PLEASE STOP saying such misleading stuff.. they can be destructive to someone’s reputation career life and relationships The silent treatment is in fact a narc’s tool, they go silent when you question the shit they do behind your back or when you hold them accountable
Teresa Chow I recently got out of a bad relationship. He cheated and he said he fell out of love. He would tell his family that I was just too emotional and that I was crazy and over dramatic. He would tell them he was exhausted from me being a psycho.
Beware the hella smear campaign a discarded narcissist will do. I’ve never experienced anything like it and didn’t know people like that existed. Took years to figure it out but did. Dropping her and moving on was the BEST! My narcissist ex collected masks and one day while looking at all those masks I had an a-ha moment. That and other symptoms helped me figure it out and be able to hold my head high and not care what she said and how much she cried begged and stalked me and then getting ANGRY and ruining my rep to anyone that would listen and she is a master user of triangulation. Whew!
I have always been the same way, I never cared what others thought, the ppl that new me, was all that matters. I dont ever try and TELL my side.. I knew the truth of what happened behind closed doors and that was living with a monster.. my ex narc just made me laugh that at his age he still needed attention from the play ground.
Thank you for this video! I experienced the smear campaign after I set boundaries and went no contact with my narc SIL. She went around lobbying to have people block me on social media. Also, if people are that easily influenced, then you don’t need to be around them. Eventually, people will see the truth.
@@StephanieLynCoaching I'm from Canada. What is your advice? Same here being bullied, mobbed, gaslighting, harassed at the hospital for over 12 years. I've happened to be the top worker for 38 years and have never been suspended. These bullies are jealous and miserable people. Union, manager, HR and the police are all totally useless. Bullies are lazy bums and stupid managers are scared of the bullies. They say about me I'm crazy, I drink, I'm a stalker all bs defamation of character. The biggest mistake since they removed disciplinary measures. They should arrest the bullies and fire the manager. Action speaks louder than nasty words. It destroyed my reputation. I will never quit to make these lazy bums ever win. If I decide to transfer to another hospital and may start gaslighting, smearing and bullying me once again, I don't know all the new managers etc. like in every department like now. So best to not change hospitals. I will never let bullies try to control me from quitting. Just don't react and not try to defend yourself which will only go back and forth making me look even more guilty. Action always speaks louder than words. Just best ignore them and find another easier target. Never let these low life lazy coward bums ever win.
Worse about their slander is that you know its not true but family and friends who knew you for years believe and hang onto their every word.just pray and have faith this is going to come back to them silence is golden you cant beat a narcissist they are demons
They can't bring you to your knees. So they enlist people that are important to you, because attacks from these people, can bring you to your knees. I was crazy. I lost 4 friendships, they believed everything he said. Living well is the best revenge.
Happy people have no cause to speak ill of others. I always keep this in mind when I reflect back to times when I have had people slander me or others. If someone is slandering you it speaks volumes more about them than you. Only truly miserable toxic people talk smack about others. And why is that person even thinking of you and talking about you if they are happy with whomever new they are with? Something that new person should ask themselves. Such people, usually Cluster B types, can be dangerous and if they slander you they may also try to stalk you either cyber or real life. I have dealt with all of the above and it is beyond creepy. Their sense of entitlement makes them cross the line often into criminal activity. If they slander you I would advise collecting evidence and contact an attorney to look into all legal options from getting a restraining order to filing a defamation lawsuit especially if it effects your work or emotional state in some extreme way. Otherwise take note that this person is toxic and miserable even with anyone new so much so that they are still talking about you and as such they are pitiful.
i was smeared this way by one of my co-workers at work.I refused to work a shift for him,so he could go to a party he wanted to go to. The next day I recieved a call from the manager who told me how harsh i was with him, and how i had to do a better job cooperating with him.I quit that job, and never looked back.
I have watched so many of these videos and that is like training people to become emotionless and emotions happen naturally. Those are what protects you from being susceptible to a narcissist. For example, being around a narcissistic person may cause you to feel uncomfortable. You shouldn’t ignore it. You would listen to it. If someone is bringing out the worst in you or making you sad, you wouldn’t ignore it. In fact, the narcopath wants you to ignore yourself. Those emotions are telling you something is wrong. It’s not about faking like you don’t have feelings. It’s about regulating one’s self despite how you feel. Don’t make a decision or take action based upon your emotions. Take time to think it out even in the mist of the mess. The narcopath is going to spin a story around anything. The best thing is to never deal with them.
I just want to add another comment. If you are going through this at the moment, please know that the narcissist works to a plan. Their motivation is SUPPLY. All other considerations are at best secondary. You are a good person, most likely a well meaning and a sensitive person. A loving, kind and generous person, wanting the best for them. Hold on, keep yourself safe. Keep at least one trusted friend close who you can share with. Develop an exit plan.
The point you made about listening to how people talk about their ex really resonates with me. When I first started dating a narcissist, I was shocked at the way he spoke about previous girlfriends and how he felt used by them for various reasons. It never sat right with me and now I understand why!
This part of their love bombing is so strange. We can see and feel their hatred towards their exes but at the same time are convinced this would never happen to us, that we would never be hated that way by them.
Smear campaign is the ultimate act of cowardice ....it does permanent damage to friendships ....best move on with your new life .new friends new chapter..a narc.free one.
This happened to me at work by a covert narcissist, and now I have to go to that job and see her today- I left that job and dropped down to on call there. She started doing this when I didn’t back down to her the way everyone else does... this lady has the creepiest energy I’ve encountered in awhile and that’s saying a lot. I had a fake narcissistic friend do a smear campaign on me too and I think it was for the reason you said at the end where she didn’t have some qualities she saw in me, at least that’s what a psychic told me... such a painful experience to get over...
Thank you for this video. I lived with a narcassit. I ended up losing all my friends from her smear campaign, and rather than defend myself i just disappeared. They were total lies.
I find the silence, is the best way to go!! I just discovered your channel, and you really have educated me on some other things, I really didn't know about. I'm sure the smear campaign took place about me, and I have closed the door on this sibling, as well, as the other ones, who showed me no support! I'm already on the healing path and feeling so much better. Thank you also for your channel. I also shared it with a friend of mine.
My husband used to tell me all the crap his ex did. Once I entered permanently into my relationship and then marriage, I saw with my own eyes that she is toxic, high conflict, golden uterus, narcissistic and, yes, crazy. I personally believe she’s evil because a sane, healthy, rational and good person does not alienate children, smear people who have been nothing but nice, they don’t teach their children to hate and lie, and have a seething, festering hate for anyone. So, yes, be very careful when you hear someone say their ex is crazy. They may just try to destroy you just because you have a great and loving relationship with their ex. Yikes!!!
People always assume the narc is telling the truth, unless you counteract it. People absolutely will not see both sides of the issue unless I stand up for myself. If someone slanders me and I'm silent, people assume I am agreeing with the slander.
The worst thing is when you DO have a MH diagnosis and so the narcissistic or emotionally abusive partner cleverly and subtlety embarks on a smear campaign which everyone is even more likely to believe because of your struggles. I have BPD which everyone understands as emotional instability and ‘manipulative’ (unless people truly do the work to understand it properly). It’s so so so painful and hurtful after making yourself vulnerable to someone; having them use the things you are MOST insecure about and use them as the reason the rel hasn’t worked- even though they have discarded you and returned over 13 times over the years always saying they were wrong and you weren’t any of the things they had said. But sooner or later they leave again always twisting it projecting the blame onto me because he knows I ll beleive and absorb it like a sponge. It’s excruciating and my brain won’t stop obsessing and analysing everything he has said and blamed me for bc it’s my biggest insecurities. I tried so hard and it wasn’t enough and somehow it’s my fault and he is SO clever and subtle - eerily ‘nice’ with it but with passive aggressive undertones - patronising condescending but bc he adds nice phrases in with all the projection etc and twists something which exists but not in the way he portrays - I just feel broken and defeated and at this point I just beleive it’s my fault and I’m a horrible manipulative person. It’s so painful it makes me sick to think about yet I can’t think about much else. The subtley of some emotional abusers is enough to drive someone clinically insane
Wow, thank you for this. This is all helping me so much with what I'm currently going through. It can be extremely lonely when you feel the world is caving in at the hands of a narcissist
Its a good thing video`s like yours exist because it convinces us truth telling victims of narcissists that we are not grazy and evil or whatever and that we are on the right track, your video also helps steering your life in the right way, tnx for that.
This is a great message and so true. Going through this right now and it really is true "other peoples opinion of me is none of my business". silence is most defintely powerful. The truth always comes out in the end.
You started this video describing me - caring, giving, loving, forgiving, not perfect human - then you described my other half 😯 I've invested 3 decades. Didn't know about Narcs. Now learning and after so many years accommodating his whims living this way I hope it's not too late for me. I've tried expressing to him how I feel but he either talks over me (talks louder than me so he doesn't have to hear me) or turns it around stating I just want to start a fight so I end up shutting down and walking away. From listening to my narc, he has been spreading stories to his buddies and co-workers (people I've never met) about me that one of them has labeled me as the narc. I know my truth but still bothered me to hear someone who doesn't know me feel they can talk, judge and label. It's true no one knows what goes on behind closed doors and only get one side of (his) story. I have no family around as we live on west coast and they are all on east coast. No friends as i am pretty much home - 24 hr caretaker to severe special needs child. Yes my narc uses his looks and "personality" to get people hooked and they believe his stories. Do you have a video or will you be making a video on alcoholic narc.
This was so helpful 💜 my mother always goes off on a smear campaign against me to my whole family when I don't do or say what she wants and I've been struggling with how I can cope with that in a healthy way 💜 Thank you 💜
This has been happening to me with my mother who has a personality disorder and her side of the family. She has smeared my name so much that some of them won’t talk with me. Also she says they are her family and I cannot talk with them if she is not there. So I finally wisened up 20 years ago and left from the town she was in, so it’s a little better, but she still does what she does. Thank you so much for talking about it and showing how to handle it better.
Great video. I agree with everything you said. Confidence is silent and insecurities are loud. I want to live my life in peace and happiness and do not engage in the drama and chaos the narcisist is creating. Knowing your story and your values and who you are is vital to detach and leave the narcisists to their own devices.
Thank you for sharing this. I can relate I also didn't defend myself verbally, i showed them throughmy action, im not about the drama. Some have realized and others are still hating, and being envious of me. It helped me to stop being a people pleaser. Would you be able to do a video on gang stalking and work mobs or how to deal with constant unwanted stares?
This probably means someone who doesn't like you, jealous or feels slighted put you on blacklist or could've paid a contractor to gangstalkers harass, etc for some hidden agenda.
Sooo true end it will literally be people who knows who you truly are but can’t think for themselves enough to realize that it’s all false. I’ve had people literally look at me differently and all of a sudden they dislike me and I don’t even know why…. now I know that it was the narcissist and their smear campaign which I choose not to care about anymore I let my life speak for itself 😊❤
Thank you for this video Stephanie. I was in a relationship with a narcissistic person , years ago. And I was able to recognize all of the signs as to not get into another toxic relationship. Fairly recently I found myself attracted to someone, who was nice one minute, and really mean the next. So when I decided to distance myself from them, they threatened to ruin my life by making up this whole story out of nowhere. I was sad at first , but I'm glad I dodged a bullet.
My ex husband came home from work one day and said he didn’t love me the way a husband should love a wife & he was in love with someone he dated in high school. That’s what I usually say when someone asks. Is that talking bad about it? It’s the truth without all the extra details because it’s more than “it didn’t work out” simple and to the point.
Currently going through a smear campaign set up by my ex-best-friend simply because I set one single boundary for my own well being that she did not like, and I didn't back down from it when she tried to gaslight me. So now people are being told that I'm this unhinged, unreasonable person that cut her out of my life for no reason. But it was this smear campaign that actually made me cut her out of my life.
Thanks for the advice about using our challenges to grow. We all tell our relationship stories from the perspective we see them. Narcs tell it as they see it. Because they are ego driven, they are compelled to make the other person "wrong".
Thank you so much.... I find myself so triggered and hurt as I have been so abused and got the courage to leave with my kids and with help of authorities and now I have to defend I’m not the crazy abuser.... I know this is the right reaction and continue to do it but some days it’s so hard but going within to heal the trauma wounds and manifest the life I want ... ❤️🙏
Great video! So true, your belief in yourself, your self worth,and how to present yourself is the best defense against smear campaigns. Thank you! A very valuable , and informative video.
EXCELLENT…. The smear campaign against me is being done by a head nurse, part owner of a 6 patient rehab house. Treating me horrible, not allowing me to visit my husband, making him miserable…. To get control with his adult children against me, his new wife, etc…. Horrendous. You’re completely right!
Stephanie, I just posted about this to you this VERY DAY!! Same day you posted this on smear campaigns!!! How weird!!! This is so wild!! Thank you thank you!!! I feel validated!! Kathie 🧡❤💜💚💙😉
Thank you so much for these videos! They continue to remind me why I left my toxic relationship and gives me the confidence to stand strong in my truths.
This is what I needed. Thank you so much. I think saying “we wanted different things” might be the best way I can present it to other people. I think my close friends will know the truth but to everyone else, I’ll keep it short and simple. I hope that falls in line with what you’re saying.
I am dealing with this now with my exes wife. Actually it’s been ongoing, and rears it’s ugly head yearly. Every time I take the high road, I get attacked. Smear campaign is such an appropriate description!!! I loved this video- it really validated my feelings and reassured me that I am not crazy!!
Thank you for the great advice re handling the smears. It's soooo easy to give in and defend yourself to others in ways which can put you in a bad light. Listened to this like three times.
Smear campaign up the wazoo for me. I stopped living but in the end, I realised my goals and being a better person is more important than whatever they throw at me. Tomorrow is not always promised, today is all I have. I can’t give someone else one more single day. I also love to embarrass myself. I intentionally put myself in situations that will humiliate me. It’s helped reduce the efffs I give
Thank you. You've taught me a lot in such a short time listening to you. Certainly some lessons learned, what they are I'll keep for myself at this time. But there's certainly a lot of takeaways. Fully appreciated 😊👍🏻
Ohhh, I dealt with this before with an envious female “friend”. She tried it with my husband and his family members. When of course, it didn’t not work, she went into the scariest rage I’ve ever seen. PS: I’m on the south shore of MA, it was so chilly today. I’m not ready for this!
@@natural3362 exactly . I had said to one of my friends something along the line of “thank you for not even entering anything she said.” I’ll never forget she said to me. She said “Sheila, your behavior has never reconciled with what she was trying to accuse you of.” That was so reassuring.
Christina Hilton good luck! Please remember, the abuse and anger that you may receive, this is not about you, it's how they are. I hope you can keep yourself together. It's hard not to go crazy, because their communication is so illogical, you cannot make sense of it, so don't try to. Remember who you are and hold tight onto that. Another thing, hold tight onto your friends. You need someone on your side to listen to you.
This happened to me and my job was in jeopardy because of it. He strangled and hit me and I testified against him in court. Now he’s trying to sue me for $10,000 in small claims court because he got a not guilty verdict. It seems though it’s never ending.
I have a gang of narcs spreading lies about me !!!! Because of jealously and envy and hatefulness !!!! And still I shine sooo Brite !!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰♥️♥️♥️♥️🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹💖💖💖💖
I was warned to stay away from a neighbor that a girlfriend and me moved next to in Massachusetts,I couldnt see anything bad about him so I chose not to listen to the warnings. It wasnt until 15 years later and him following me to Connecticut, He started doing everything that these people in Mass. told me he would do eventually do to me after letting him get in my life.Doing his best to turn family and lifelong friends against me,trying to get me evicted,running to the Police and telling them that I was a drug dealer,etc.He has been arrested numerous times and got his ass kicked numerous times but never gave a damn about consequences. I dont know what I did to him to this day, it was like the people who warned said,"its as if he will just wake up one morning and decide that you are his enemy". I rode out the storm for over 6 years with this piece of work,he finally moved away to Maine. I feel victorious ,LOL. He knows when its time to clean up his act and act like a normal human being,but being the timebomb that he is he will screw with the wrong person eventually.Thank you so much for the videos Stephanie
In the last 4 years of the intense smears campaign, I have had nothing to respond not even a word, whoever show me a long face removed him or her . i work myself with huge struggles start from zero and keep my peace. Now I am seeing light the end of the tunnel.God gives me wisdom to clean my mass happy with that.
I ended a relationship with a narc a few weeks back after a little over 3 years with her. If it wasn't for channels like yours I'd be lost. The smear campaign started like I knew it would. I blocked her everywhere so I heard about it through mutual friends. I didn't have to defend myself or even say anything on my page. Everyone has been seeing threw her lies and I've had so many people contact me and tell me they know she's lying. The days of her controlling my emotional state are over.
Nobody even wants to hear my story. They finally told me they don't want to talk to me because I'm abusive and was harassing her, but they wont' tell me why they believe that.
This is what my ex kept doing to me anytime she would see me trying to make friends or develop relationships with others. She completely manipulated and twisted everything around and kept telling my friends that I'm the toxic one and that she is innocent. She's charming so they believe her but come back to me after she discards them.
This smear campaign has been so tough on me because we work together. It sucks walking into a room and it going quiet. Hearing that people think your crazy and violent. He knew my past and it was a bad one that included assault. I was young and I didn't know how to control my emotions. I worked so hard to get to where I am today and that man just demolished it. He'd get upset because I'd start crying and I'd get so mad that he'd call me crazy that I'd want to hit the wall, which I didn't. So then he'd push me on the floor and say he had to restrain me. The way that he didn't care if I was hurting is what hurt the most. But, now I'm at a job where I feel like an outcast and he's just laughing and having a great time. He got with someone a month after we broke up and said he met her on Facebook dating. That he had to move on so he could forget the trauma I put him through. This has to be the lowest point of my life. I've never met someone as bad and horrible of a person as him, yet I still miss him. I miss the person I thought he was in the beginning. The times we spent laughing and being silly together. I'm just so hurt and I've tried so many things to move on. I know only time will heal. I. Trying to find another job but it's tough out here.
Lucky you living in Boston! Yes, I've been the victim of a ruthless smear campaign by a popular narcissist on RUclips. He let me know that he intends to smear me on other platforms besides RUclips.
The malignant narcissist I divorced complained constantly to me that I was too easy going and forgiving. The horrible scary truth was He was on a campaign to systematically break me and destroy me. Through his counter parenting, maligning, sabotaging and destroying all the loving unconditional devotion , dedication, sacrifices and hard work I poured into raising my children. Smear campaigning ,triangulating , alienating and isolating my children and others including family and friends.
Just ended a relationship with a narcissist. He talked so bad about his ex-wife and ex-gf. Everytime he was talking about them, the story was different and was bashing on them. Never really trusted him when he said why they divorced, had a gut feeling that he is hiding so much more. I am sure he will bring in a new victim soon, as I don't think he will be able to spend Christmas alone and needs a new source of energy. I'm sure he will talk bad about me too. I'll surely be the crazy bitch in his next stories. Heheheh ! :))
Emily my ex’s mom was a narcissist and so was my ex. Unbelievable relationship they had. Battling all the time over scrabble. Yelling at her sick mom. SMH. Her father and I would leave them alone to battle it out.
This happened to me, a fellow soccer mom did this to me and continues to do this, it started 12 years ago and she continues to destroy my character in the eyes of people I know. These people have become her flying monkeys. I have no contact with any of these people any longer.
Had a girlfriend exactly like this and she managed to turn our whole friend group against me. I have watched her turn each of my friends against me one by one and I could not do anything about it because they all believed her so anytime I pointed something out they all acted like I was the problem. Don’t know how to expose this girl!!😖
So amazing to listen to you and deal with this in such a positive way. I was a bit upset about people that I lost but now I realize that they are head fucking me too, so it's ok to to move on from the whole lot of them.
My narcissistic boss attempted it even when we had no actual issues that I was aware of. It came out she had put a letter of to the team to let her if I need help... even though only be there 1 year. So once I found out from a real coworker friend- I typed the resignation letter and let me husband know so went she went in for the kill-- as narcs do- I’m ready- I play chess not checkers- I kept smiling n working n waiting- so when presented with a write up full of lies and character assisination.. I informed her sorry I can’t sign that- she said and why not!??? Cuz now ready for my attention... I said calmly n frankly because as of 2 weeks from now I longer work here. My resignation letter should be in ur inbox right about .... now... I could hear her anger turning red. But I wished her great vacation with no words uttered..Then I sent a beautiful voluntary resignation to my team with updates on my accounts and left my contact information... It was epic and poetic.. I took ALL her power. She was left with nothing. As I did the exit interview.. I informed the CEO of what was done to me.. and the next meeting he put over 100,000 in the budget for current employees now that he knew first hand how we were getting treated.. Now I got nothing but point being- I brought facts and no emotion with evidence and as a smart leader he heeded my concerns. Now as long as SHE is employed there- SHE is the one under scrutiny as long as she stays there...So proud of myself and how I strategically handled it since years prior she would have won. Not today Satan. And used her previously great performance appraisal for my next job. I’ve been at now for 7 months happier than ever . Thank you to my enemy. The point of this longgggg story- do not let them win.. have a plan ... see things for what they are....Do not put anything past anyone.. moved emotionless and strategic.. know ur enemies.. Be courageous enuf to close your own door and take the power they do desperately desire... 😉
I had this done to me she tried to convince every one I was crazy and that I was bad and wicked and I just had to find a way not to respond or react to her bs so I got rid of this lady who was supposed to be there for me and now I act like she’s dead to me and now I can move in with my life healing as I go we all no wife can’t get In the mid with pigs as we get dirty we have to rise above that and stay focused on us
I was married to this kind of person for 9 years. Now trying to help my school aged kids deal with it during their 50% time with their mother. Thankfully I weathered the affairs, smear campaigns and divorce without overreacting by the grace of God and having good friends.
Your videos helped me so much and recently too a "family" member tried to bait me into an argument and I remembered what you said in a few of your videos thank you!!!
The best revenge is just to be happy and move on. People see what they want to see. The truth always comes out.
Jennifer Mason the best revenge is not legal
This gives me hope!
YES but I’m struggling due to parental alienation!🥶
If only it was that simple.
I’m not disagreeing per se. I’m simply saying with the range of emotions we all go through it isn’t always so easy to simply be happy and move on.
@@CarolDudeck-bl7kz I was / am dealing with this as well.... It's like a slow disassembling of my heart. Every day I think of someone trying to tell my children I'm a bad human, lie about how much I love them and it rips my apart. The BEST thing I've done is get them into counseling immediately. I wrote a very long email in the beginning voicing my concerns and then left them alone. It only took about 7 months for the counselor to see what was happening.
When that happened to me, it was a powerful lesson in learning how to not care what others thought of me.
nancy sungyun same. At first, I worried over people believing it, and then one of these times of worry I remembered one of my friends who told me about when the narc was tellings lies about me to her. She said “I didn’t believe it. It didn’t sound like you. I was like ‘why would she do that?’” and then went down all of these things that went through her head about why she didn’t believe it. It made me realize not to give a shit about the people who would believe it b/c those people don’t know me at all.
@@mariatheresa6115 That woman saw you for you. That to me is a friend.❤️
Exactly
Nancy Sungyun : YES!! TO ME THE SAME HAPPENED
Hello so did you just ignore cos I'm going through one now . M struggling with the anxiety
There’s a special place in hell for these people and the people who help with the smear campaign.
My ex smeared my name and reputation to everyone.
Same thing was done to me and I hate how people would look at.me as if I did something when he was the problem when he cheated and lied and brou th t down my name with friends family and people in my sons school.....
Exactly. Hell awaits them.
I would rather they go to heaven because it would include a complete change of heart and the wisdom to sort out lies from truth.
@@shellyscholz1256 I wish that to but I'm convinced they are not human
SAME HERE
Confidence is the healthiest outfit you can wear. Love that!
Yes 😊♥️🙌🏼
My anxiousness completely went away after this. Confidence is silent and insecurities are loud
Great, gonna remember that Confidence is silent and Insecurity is loud. 👍
I wish I would’ve seen this video 4 yrs ago, I did the whole angry defending myself and shouting my truth to the rooftops even on fb and it completely backfired. I had to let go of and block many past people, friends and even some family members off my fb and out of my life because I didn’t know how to handle the smear campaign and their negativity towards me. But now I just keep to myself, only hang out with people who believe in me and are positive with me and I don’t post anything about my issues on fb anymore. I’m 47 yrs old. If people don’t believe me about myself they don’t need to be in my life. People who believe me and respect me will understand.
Well said. I'm in the midst of the smear campaign myself. I have lost it as far as my anger goes. I actually have neighbors coming to me telling me what he's saying to other neighbors that barely know me. I can just imagine what he's saying to his family. I'm slowly inching on but sometimes it just hits me like a rock again. I left this jerk anyways. But I like learning why I left him, what I sensed, and not giving into the BS that he tried to feed me when he cheated and lied in my face. Instead of sticking by me during one of my little moments and trying to see if he could work things out. Went off to his ex-wife again who then contacted me and made fun of me. So I'll have no closure in this relationship because he'll never say he's wrong. He's an empty little boy who only cares about his balls and his Jeep and will never get his crap together any further than it is. And where it is today is where I helped him to get. He just doesn't want to keep climbing. So I'm hoping these videos are going to help keep me calm and happy and moving on! But well said what you said!
@@cindy914 lol I had to laugh when you said he only cares about his balls and his Jeep…if that’s the only take away you had from him he’s better off with his laughing ex. Let her take care of his balls so you can find a real man who takes care of you. Then both of you can sit back and laugh at both of them while his ex is still playing grab balls with him and taking back your sloppy seconds and her sloppy thirds. Lol that’s how I like to deal with people in my head who did me wrong including past lovers. I make fun of the most take away I had from experiencing them which was mostly heartache and misery and then make up funny stories in my head about the poor souls dealing with them now and the burdens on their life they are putting on them while they pretend they won the prize heffer by stealing them from me. I’m like, really? You think you won? Lmao!!!
Just now moving out of a narcissistic abusive relationship. The smear campaign is real. My mom taught me long ago to tell those that are determined to hurts us, just say "Do your harm. Ill be fine"
Thx! I’m going to remember that quote!
Ooh! Good one! 😅
Never had a smear campaign before this last encounter tbh and it was so weird how they told half truths to make themselves look like the victim but couldn't keep their story straight so every time they spoke out was a different story smh. Definitely handled it wrong tbh but I can't stand when people lie on my name
SILENCE IS GOLDEN
The people who matter know and love you! They know the truth. The more silent you are, the more foolish they look. Thank you for such a great video!
Yes silence is always best to foolishness ❤
Can't argue with a fool 😃
Facts 💯💯
Agreed! But when I do slip up and take the bait, I'm not going to beat myself up for it. If nothing else, I'm getting more verification of the evil I'm dealing with and I can move on faster from it
I like her content but the suggestion of staying silent is destructive
If you stay silent they smear you more and keep smearing you
They also start telling others you were silent because all the lies they’re speaking about you are the truth
They don’t stop until you’re ruined
Legal action, firmly defending yourself, self care, seeking support is what works during this hard time
PLEASE STOP saying such misleading stuff.. they can be destructive to someone’s reputation career life and relationships
The silent treatment is in fact a narc’s tool, they go silent when you question the shit they do behind your back or when you hold them accountable
My daughter's boyfriend did this to our whole family. Thank God she is out of the relationship and becoming emotionally healthy again.
Facts
This is some of the best narcissist recovery advice I've heard. Quiet, calculated, and confident- be yourself and move forward!
Omg this happened to me. He spread out to the world how unhappy he is. He shamed me to get attention. Stephanie your videos has help me so so much.
Teresa Chow I recently got out of a bad relationship. He cheated and he said he fell out of love. He would tell his family that I was just too emotional and that I was crazy and over dramatic. He would tell them he was exhausted from me being a psycho.
Just tell people that he has a small wiener. Guys hate that.
Girl I had to go through the same thing...D lies he and his mother said about me was the worst
@@jimdandy8996 😂
Beware the hella smear campaign a discarded narcissist will do. I’ve never experienced anything like it and didn’t know people like that existed. Took years to figure it out but did. Dropping her and moving on was the BEST! My narcissist ex collected masks and one day while looking at all those masks I had an a-ha moment. That and other symptoms helped me figure it out and be able to hold my head high and not care what she said and how much she cried begged and stalked me and then getting ANGRY and ruining my rep to anyone that would listen and she is a master user of triangulation.
Whew!
Facts. No contact is the best.💯💯💯
SOUNDS LIKE THE WHORE I MARRIED, TEIANGULATE WAS HER BEST, FUCKEN SUCIA, THAT MEAN NASTY WHORE
I have always been the same way, I never cared what others thought, the ppl that new me, was all that matters. I dont ever try and TELL my side.. I knew the truth of what happened behind closed doors and that was living with a monster.. my ex narc just made me laugh that at his age he still needed attention from the play ground.
Thank you for this video! I experienced the smear campaign after I set boundaries and went no contact with my narc SIL. She went around lobbying to have people block me on social media.
Also, if people are that easily influenced, then you don’t need to be around them. Eventually, people will see the truth.
D Sena,You deserves better
So, so true!
A quote that I saved during this time for me is, "your true strength lies in your grace ".
Great thoughts, Stephanie!
Boom!
Difficult times like these can help us grow in grace ❤️
"Sometimes people pretend you’re A bad person so they don’t have to feel guilty for how they treated you” my mantra when she slings bullshit.
@@StephanieLynCoaching I'm from Canada. What is your advice? Same here being bullied, mobbed, gaslighting, harassed at the hospital for over 12 years. I've happened to be the top worker for 38 years and have never been suspended. These bullies are jealous and miserable people. Union, manager, HR and the police are all totally useless. Bullies are lazy bums and stupid managers are scared of the bullies. They say about me I'm crazy, I drink, I'm a stalker all bs defamation of character. The biggest mistake since they removed disciplinary measures. They should arrest the bullies and fire the manager. Action speaks louder than nasty words. It destroyed my reputation. I will never quit to make these lazy bums ever win. If I decide to transfer to another hospital and may start gaslighting, smearing and bullying me once again, I don't know all the new managers etc. like in every department like now. So best to not change hospitals. I will never let bullies try to control me from quitting. Just don't react and not try to defend yourself which will only go back and forth making me look even more guilty. Action always speaks louder than words. Just best ignore them and find another easier target. Never let these low life lazy coward bums ever win.
I needed this....I have been on the worst smear campaign ever...I feel my whole life it damaged...
Worse about their slander is that you know its not true but family and friends who knew you for years believe and hang onto their every word.just pray and have faith this is going to come back to them silence is golden you cant beat a narcissist they are demons
How are you doing now Gina?
They can't bring you to your knees. So they enlist people that are important to you, because attacks from these people, can bring you to your knees. I was crazy. I lost 4 friendships, they believed everything he said. Living well is the best revenge.
Confidence is the Healthiest Outfit YOU COULD wear !!! Know Yourself !!! Lots of Self - Love !!! Thanks for your videos......
Happy people have no cause to speak ill of others. I always keep this in mind when I reflect back to times when I have had people slander me or others. If someone is slandering you it speaks volumes more about them than you. Only truly miserable toxic people talk smack about others. And why is that person even thinking of you and talking about you if they are happy with whomever new they are with? Something that new person should ask themselves. Such people, usually Cluster B types, can be dangerous and if they slander you they may also try to stalk you either cyber or real life. I have dealt with all of the above and it is beyond creepy. Their sense of entitlement makes them cross the line often into criminal activity. If they slander you I would advise collecting evidence and contact an attorney to look into all legal options from getting a restraining order to filing a defamation lawsuit especially if it effects your work or emotional state in some extreme way. Otherwise take note that this person is toxic and miserable even with anyone new so much so that they are still talking about you and as such they are pitiful.
you nailed it.
You describe this one girl in my high school that I rejected. She still smearing my name.
Stephanie, thank you so very much for addressing this issue. Public smear campaigns are absolutely devistating.
i was smeared this way by one of my co-workers at work.I refused to work a shift for him,so he could go to a party he wanted to go to. The next day I recieved a call from the manager who told me how harsh i was with him, and how i had to do a better job cooperating with him.I quit that job, and never looked back.
I have watched so many of these videos and that is like training people to become emotionless and emotions happen naturally. Those are what protects you from being susceptible to a narcissist. For example, being around a narcissistic person may cause you to feel uncomfortable. You shouldn’t ignore it. You would listen to it. If someone is bringing out the worst in you or making you sad, you wouldn’t ignore it. In fact, the narcopath wants you to ignore yourself. Those emotions are telling you something is wrong. It’s not about faking like you don’t have feelings. It’s about regulating one’s self despite how you feel. Don’t make a decision or take action based upon your emotions. Take time to think it out even in the mist of the mess. The narcopath is going to spin a story around anything. The best thing is to never deal with them.
I just want to add another comment.
If you are going through this at the moment, please know that the narcissist works to a plan. Their motivation is SUPPLY.
All other considerations are at best secondary.
You are a good person, most likely a well meaning and a sensitive person. A loving, kind and generous person, wanting the best for them.
Hold on, keep yourself safe. Keep at least one trusted friend close who you can share with.
Develop an exit plan.
The point you made about listening to how people talk about their ex really resonates with me. When I first started dating a narcissist, I was shocked at the way he spoke about previous girlfriends and how he felt used by them for various reasons. It never sat right with me and now I understand why!
This part of their love bombing is so strange. We can see and feel their hatred towards their exes but at the same time are convinced this would never happen to us, that we would never be hated that way by them.
Smear campaign is the ultimate act of cowardice ....it does permanent damage to friendships ....best move on with your new life .new friends new chapter..a narc.free one.
Facts
This happened to me at work by a covert narcissist, and now I have to go to that job and see her today- I left that job and dropped down to on call there. She started doing this when I didn’t back down to her the way everyone else does... this lady has the creepiest energy I’ve encountered in awhile and that’s saying a lot. I had a fake narcissistic friend do a smear campaign on me too and I think it was for the reason you said at the end where she didn’t have some qualities she saw in me, at least that’s what a psychic told me... such a painful experience to get over...
Thank you for this video. I lived with a narcassit. I ended up losing all my friends from her smear campaign, and rather than defend myself i just disappeared. They were total lies.
I find the silence, is the best way to go!! I just discovered your channel, and you really have educated me on some other things, I really didn't know about. I'm sure the smear campaign took place about me, and I have closed the door on this sibling, as well, as the other ones, who showed me no support! I'm already on the healing path and feeling so much better. Thank you also for your channel. I also shared it with a friend of mine.
My husband used to tell me all the crap his ex did. Once I entered permanently into my relationship and then marriage, I saw with my own eyes that she is toxic, high conflict, golden uterus, narcissistic and, yes, crazy. I personally believe she’s evil because a sane, healthy, rational and good person does not alienate children, smear people who have been nothing but nice, they don’t teach their children to hate and lie, and have a seething, festering hate for anyone. So, yes, be very careful when you hear someone say their ex is crazy. They may just try to destroy you just because you have a great and loving relationship with their ex. Yikes!!!
People always assume the narc is telling the truth, unless you counteract it. People absolutely will not see both sides of the issue unless I stand up for myself. If someone slanders me and I'm silent, people assume I am agreeing with the slander.
The worst thing is when you DO have a MH diagnosis and so the narcissistic or emotionally abusive partner cleverly and subtlety embarks on a smear campaign which everyone is even more likely to believe because of your struggles. I have BPD which everyone understands as emotional instability and ‘manipulative’ (unless people truly do the work to understand it properly). It’s so so so painful and hurtful after making yourself vulnerable to someone; having them use the things you are MOST insecure about and use them as the reason the rel hasn’t worked- even though they have discarded you and returned over 13 times over the years always saying they were wrong and you weren’t any of the things they had said. But sooner or later they leave again always twisting it projecting the blame onto me because he knows I ll beleive and absorb it like a sponge. It’s excruciating and my brain won’t stop obsessing and analysing everything he has said and blamed me for bc it’s my biggest insecurities. I tried so hard and it wasn’t enough and somehow it’s my fault and he is SO clever and subtle - eerily ‘nice’ with it but with passive aggressive undertones - patronising condescending but bc he adds nice phrases in with all the projection etc and twists something which exists but not in the way he portrays - I just feel broken and defeated and at this point I just beleive it’s my fault and I’m a horrible manipulative person. It’s so painful it makes me sick to think about yet I can’t think about much else. The subtley of some emotional abusers is enough to drive someone clinically insane
Wow, thank you for this. This is all helping me so much with what I'm currently going through. It can be extremely lonely when you feel the world is caving in at the hands of a narcissist
Its a good thing video`s like yours exist because it convinces us truth telling victims of narcissists that we are not grazy and evil or whatever and that we are on the right track, your video also helps steering your life in the right way, tnx for that.
This is a great message and so true. Going through this right now and it really is true "other peoples opinion of me is none of my business". silence is most defintely powerful. The truth always comes out in the end.
The best reaction is no reaction and sometimes a response coming from a calm relaxed place(not from a defensive and angry place). But that is not easy
You started this video describing me - caring, giving, loving, forgiving, not perfect human - then you described my other half 😯 I've invested 3 decades. Didn't know about Narcs. Now learning and after so many years accommodating his whims living this way I hope it's not too late for me. I've tried expressing to him how I feel but he either talks over me (talks louder than me so he doesn't have to hear me) or turns it around stating I just want to start a fight so I end up shutting down and walking away.
From listening to my narc, he has been spreading stories to his buddies and co-workers (people I've never met) about me that one of them has labeled me as the narc. I know my truth but still bothered me to hear someone who doesn't know me feel they can talk, judge and label. It's true no one knows what goes on behind closed doors and only get one side of (his) story.
I have no family around as we live on west coast and they are all on east coast. No friends as i am pretty much home - 24 hr caretaker to severe special needs child.
Yes my narc uses his looks and "personality" to get people hooked and they believe his stories.
Do you have a video or will you be making a video on alcoholic narc.
This was so helpful 💜 my mother always goes off on a smear campaign against me to my whole family when I don't do or say what she wants and I've been struggling with how I can cope with that in a healthy way 💜 Thank you 💜
I exactly understand now that how easily they smeared their ex and now i m in that list, poor new supply ! she is thinking that devil as her soulmate
This has been happening to me with my mother who has a personality disorder and her side of the family.
She has smeared my name so much that some of them won’t talk with me.
Also she says they are her family and I cannot talk with them if she is not there.
So I finally wisened up 20 years ago and left from the town she was in, so it’s a little better, but she still does what she does. Thank you so much for talking about it and showing how to handle it better.
YES, "they do not know where to stop" (NarcSurvivor)...Thank You!!:))!!👍🎁💐😊🌺🍀🌈⚓!!
Great video. I agree with everything you said. Confidence is silent and insecurities are loud. I want to live my life in peace and happiness and do not engage in the drama and chaos the narcisist is creating. Knowing your story and your values and who you are is vital to detach and leave the narcisists to their own devices.
Thank you for sharing this. I can relate I also didn't defend myself verbally, i showed them throughmy action, im not about the drama. Some have realized and others are still hating, and being envious of me. It helped me to stop being a people pleaser. Would you be able to do a video on gang stalking and work mobs or how to deal with constant unwanted stares?
Lovely828
Yes, please do a video on gang stalking.
This probably means someone who doesn't like you, jealous or feels slighted put you on blacklist or could've paid a contractor to gangstalkers harass, etc for some hidden agenda.
Sooo true end it will literally be people who knows who you truly are but can’t think for themselves enough to realize that it’s all false. I’ve had people literally look at me differently and all of a sudden they dislike me and I don’t even know why…. now I know that it was the narcissist and their smear campaign which I choose not to care about anymore I let my life speak for itself 😊❤
One of my rules is don't date a woman who trash talks all her exes because that's how she will talk about me if our relationship fails.
Thank you for this video Stephanie. I was in a relationship with a narcissistic person , years ago. And I was able to recognize all of the signs as to not get into another toxic relationship. Fairly recently I found myself attracted to someone, who was nice one minute, and really mean the next. So when I decided to distance myself from them, they threatened to ruin my life by making up this whole story out of nowhere. I was sad at first , but I'm glad I dodged a bullet.
Linnae Willis,You don’t need a narcissist in your life….
My ex husband came home from work one day and said he didn’t love me the way a husband should love a wife & he was in love with someone he dated in high school. That’s what I usually say when someone asks. Is that talking bad about it? It’s the truth without all the extra details because it’s more than “it didn’t work out” simple and to the point.
Currently going through a smear campaign set up by my ex-best-friend simply because I set one single boundary for my own well being that she did not like, and I didn't back down from it when she tried to gaslight me. So now people are being told that I'm this unhinged, unreasonable person that cut her out of my life for no reason. But it was this smear campaign that actually made me cut her out of my life.
Thanks for the advice about using our challenges to grow. We all tell our relationship stories from the perspective we see them. Narcs tell it as they see it. Because they are ego driven, they are compelled to make the other person "wrong".
It’s incredible it was a cartoon ! 😂😂 well I have grown massive out of it truly and largely because of fantastic people like you 🙏
Thank you so much.... I find myself so triggered and hurt as I have been so abused and got the courage to leave with my kids and with help of authorities and now I have to defend I’m not the crazy abuser.... I know this is the right reaction and continue to do it but some days it’s so hard but going within to heal the trauma wounds and manifest the life I want ... ❤️🙏
Great video! So true, your belief in yourself, your self worth,and how to present yourself is the best defense against smear campaigns. Thank you! A very valuable , and informative video.
EXCELLENT…. The smear campaign against me is being done by a head nurse, part owner of a 6 patient rehab house. Treating me horrible, not allowing me to visit my husband, making him miserable…. To get control with his adult children against me, his new wife, etc…. Horrendous. You’re completely right!
Thats horid report her to higher up.they can't stop you from seeing your husband
Stephanie, I just posted about this to you this VERY DAY!! Same day you posted this on smear campaigns!!! How weird!!! This is so wild!! Thank you thank you!!! I feel validated!! Kathie 🧡❤💜💚💙😉
Love that!
I needed this video so much! I'm living through this right now... Thank you for sharing your wisdom and experience to help others navigate this! ❤
Thanks Ma’am!!This is really bad thing which happens to victims.🙂
Thank you so much for these videos! They continue to remind me why I left my toxic relationship and gives me the confidence to stand strong in my truths.
Your videos have helped me so much with what I’m going through currently, thank you so much! Its helped develop the strength i need to get through it.
This is what I needed. Thank you so much. I think saying “we wanted different things” might be the best way I can present it to other people. I think my close friends will know the truth but to everyone else, I’ll keep it short and simple. I hope that falls in line with what you’re saying.
I am dealing with this now with my exes wife. Actually it’s been ongoing, and rears it’s ugly head yearly. Every time I take the high road, I get attacked. Smear campaign is such an appropriate description!!! I loved this video- it really validated my feelings and reassured me that I am not crazy!!
Going through it right now. Ive never felt humiliated like that. Thank you very much for helping me!!
I was raised to believe 1/2 of what I see and NONE of what I hear. I raised my boys that way. Not everyone follows that rule though.
So true, at the moment I have this going on in my life from two family members, is truly horrible.
Thank you for the great advice re handling the smears. It's soooo easy to give in and defend yourself to others in ways which can put you in a bad light. Listened to this like three times.
Smear campaign up the wazoo for me. I stopped living but in the end, I realised my goals and being a better person is more important than whatever they throw at me. Tomorrow is not always promised, today is all I have. I can’t give someone else one more single day. I also love to embarrass myself. I intentionally put myself in situations that will humiliate me. It’s helped reduce the efffs I give
Thank you. You've taught me a lot in such a short time listening to you. Certainly some lessons learned, what they are I'll keep for myself at this time. But there's certainly a lot of takeaways. Fully appreciated 😊👍🏻
Ohhh, I dealt with this before with an envious female “friend”. She tried it with my husband and his family members. When of course, it didn’t not work, she went into the scariest rage I’ve ever seen.
PS: I’m on the south shore of MA, it was so chilly today. I’m not ready for this!
She’s a narcissist. stay away from her
That's why it's important to have a strong compatible people with you because compatible people know you.
@@natural3362 exactly . I had said to one of my friends something along the line of “thank you for not even entering anything she said.” I’ll never forget she said to me. She said “Sheila, your behavior has never reconciled with what she was trying to accuse you of.” That was so reassuring.
@@SheilaKaneDecoy you're so lucky God blessed you with a good friend. Praying that God will give me mine
I'm bracing myself for this so thank you for the timely message
Christina Hilton good luck!
Please remember, the abuse and anger that you may receive, this is not about you, it's how they are.
I hope you can keep yourself together. It's hard not to go crazy, because their communication is so illogical, you cannot make sense of it, so don't try to.
Remember who you are and hold tight onto that.
Another thing, hold tight onto your friends. You need someone on your side to listen to you.
@@paulbarrett635 Thanks so much - it really messes with your mind - I'm so fortunate to have friends who can see it more objectively!
This happened to me and my job was in jeopardy because of it. He strangled and hit me and I testified against him in court. Now he’s trying to sue me for $10,000 in small claims court because he got a not guilty verdict. It seems though it’s never ending.
Thank you, Merci ! Really clear wise cool healthy advices. Take great care. All the Best.
One of the best video ever about narcissm seriously 1st time i'm listening about something thats not draining me.Thanks alot for the knowledge💖
I have a gang of narcs spreading lies about me !!!! Because of jealously and envy and hatefulness !!!! And still I shine sooo Brite !!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰♥️♥️♥️♥️🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹💖💖💖💖
I was warned to stay away from a neighbor that a girlfriend and me moved next to in Massachusetts,I couldnt see anything bad about him so I chose not to listen to the warnings. It wasnt until 15 years later and him following me to Connecticut, He started doing everything that these people in Mass. told me he would do eventually do to me after letting him get in my life.Doing his best to turn family and lifelong friends against me,trying to get me evicted,running to the Police and telling them that I was a drug dealer,etc.He has been arrested numerous times and got his ass kicked numerous times but never gave a damn about consequences. I dont know what I did to him to this day, it was like the people who warned said,"its as if he will just wake up one morning and decide that you are his enemy". I rode out the storm for over 6 years with this piece of work,he finally moved away to Maine. I feel victorious ,LOL. He knows when its time to clean up his act and act like a normal human being,but being the timebomb that he is he will screw with the wrong person eventually.Thank you so much for the videos Stephanie
In the last 4 years of the intense smears campaign, I have had nothing to respond not even a word, whoever show me a long face removed him or her . i work myself with huge struggles start from zero and keep my peace. Now I am seeing light the end of the tunnel.God gives me wisdom to clean my mass happy with that.
I ended a relationship with a narc a few weeks back after a little over 3 years with her. If it wasn't for channels like yours I'd be lost. The smear campaign started like I knew it would. I blocked her everywhere so I heard about it through mutual friends. I didn't have to defend myself or even say anything on my page. Everyone has been seeing threw her lies and I've had so many people contact me and tell me they know she's lying. The days of her controlling my emotional state are over.
Nobody even wants to hear my story. They finally told me they don't want to talk to me because I'm abusive and was harassing her, but they wont' tell me why they believe that.
This is what my ex kept doing to me anytime she would see me trying to make friends or develop relationships with others. She completely manipulated and twisted everything around and kept telling my friends that I'm the toxic one and that she is innocent. She's charming so they believe her but come back to me after she discards them.
Just be happy and move on. Your mental health is the greatest asset. Umm, I kinda learned that the hard way!!!
This smear campaign has been so tough on me because we work together. It sucks walking into a room and it going quiet. Hearing that people think your crazy and violent. He knew my past and it was a bad one that included assault. I was young and I didn't know how to control my emotions. I worked so hard to get to where I am today and that man just demolished it. He'd get upset because I'd start crying and I'd get so mad that he'd call me crazy that I'd want to hit the wall, which I didn't. So then he'd push me on the floor and say he had to restrain me. The way that he didn't care if I was hurting is what hurt the most.
But, now I'm at a job where I feel like an outcast and he's just laughing and having a great time. He got with someone a month after we broke up and said he met her on Facebook dating. That he had to move on so he could forget the trauma I put him through. This has to be the lowest point of my life. I've never met someone as bad and horrible of a person as him, yet I still miss him. I miss the person I thought he was in the beginning. The times we spent laughing and being silly together. I'm just so hurt and I've tried so many things to move on. I know only time will heal. I. Trying to find another job but it's tough out here.
Lucky you living in Boston! Yes, I've been the victim of a ruthless smear campaign by a popular narcissist on RUclips. He let me know that he intends to smear me on other platforms besides RUclips.
Thank u for articulating what im experiencing which has enlightened me in my current marital situation
The malignant narcissist I divorced complained constantly to me that I was too easy going and forgiving. The horrible scary truth was He was on a campaign to systematically break me and destroy me.
Through his counter parenting, maligning, sabotaging and destroying all the loving unconditional devotion , dedication, sacrifices and hard work I poured into raising my children.
Smear campaigning ,triangulating , alienating and isolating my children and others including family and friends.
This video reminds me of the last work environment I had to survive.
Yeah , sorry to hear that, tbh I've been experiencing a long and steady campaign, and every job since highschool has been like this, because of this.
In homo sapiens defense ....I think social media (the machines) was or is half of it. It all started at the exact same time 🤯
Just ended a relationship with a narcissist. He talked so bad about his ex-wife and ex-gf. Everytime he was talking about them, the story was different and was bashing on them. Never really trusted him when he said why they divorced, had a gut feeling that he is hiding so much more. I am sure he will bring in a new victim soon, as I don't think he will be able to spend Christmas alone and needs a new source of energy. I'm sure he will talk bad about me too. I'll surely be the crazy bitch in his next stories. Heheheh ! :))
Great video! Loving your channel. Would love to see a video on daughters of narcissistic mothers!
Emily my ex’s mom was a narcissist and so was my ex. Unbelievable relationship they had. Battling all the time over scrabble. Yelling at her sick mom. SMH. Her father and I would leave them alone to battle it out.
This happened to me, a fellow soccer mom did this to me and continues to do this, it started 12 years ago and she continues to destroy my character in the eyes of people I know. These people have become her flying monkeys. I have no contact with any of these people any longer.
This topic is soo important in the narc world 🙏
LOVE 💕 THIS COUNSELING, EXCELLENT!!!!!! HAVE LEARNED A LOT ON MY JOURNEY,!!! THANK YOU SO VERY VERY MUCH!!!
Had a girlfriend exactly like this and she managed to turn our whole friend group against me. I have watched her turn each of my friends against me one by one and I could not do anything about it because they all believed her so anytime I pointed something out they all acted like I was the problem. Don’t know how to expose this girl!!😖
secretly record her
I don't even talk to narcissists so smear campaign is all they can do
So amazing to listen to you and deal with this in such a positive way. I was a bit upset about people that I lost but now I realize that they are head fucking me too, so it's ok to to move on from the whole lot of them.
Great video!!! Can you do one on forgiveness an steps towards how to forgive a narcissist?
It is on my list.
My narcissistic boss attempted it even when we had no actual issues that I was aware of. It came out she had put a letter of to the team to let her if I need help... even though only be there 1 year. So once I found out from a real coworker friend- I typed the resignation letter and let me husband know so went she went in for the kill-- as narcs do- I’m ready- I play chess not checkers- I kept smiling n working n waiting- so when presented with a write up full of lies and character assisination.. I informed her sorry I can’t sign that- she said and why not!??? Cuz now ready for my attention... I said calmly n frankly because as of 2 weeks from now I longer work here. My resignation letter should be in ur inbox right about .... now... I could hear her anger turning red. But I wished her great vacation with no words uttered..Then I sent a beautiful voluntary resignation to my team with updates on my accounts and left my contact information... It was epic and poetic.. I took ALL her power. She was left with nothing. As I did the exit interview.. I informed the CEO of what was done to me.. and the next meeting he put over 100,000 in the budget for current employees now that he knew first hand how we were getting treated.. Now I got nothing but point being- I brought facts and no emotion with evidence and as a smart leader he heeded my concerns. Now as long as SHE is employed there- SHE is the one under scrutiny as long as she stays there...So proud of myself and how I strategically handled it since years prior she would have won. Not today Satan. And used her previously great performance appraisal for my next job. I’ve been at now for 7 months happier than ever . Thank you to my enemy. The point of this longgggg story- do not let them win.. have a plan ... see things for what they are....Do not put anything past anyone.. moved emotionless and strategic.. know ur enemies.. Be courageous enuf to close your own door and take the power they do desperately desire... 😉
Thank you for absolutely great advice.
This is Brilliant...
Great video!! Thank you!!
I had this done to me she tried to convince every one I was crazy and that I was bad and wicked and I just had to find a way not to respond or react to her bs so I got rid of this lady who was supposed to be there for me and now I act like she’s dead to me and now I can move in with my life healing as I go we all no wife can’t get In the mid with pigs as we get dirty we have to rise above that and stay focused on us
I was married to this kind of person for 9 years. Now trying to help my school aged kids deal with it during their 50% time with their mother. Thankfully I weathered the affairs, smear campaigns and divorce without overreacting by the grace of God and having good friends.
Smear Campaign? i think of that Eminem song "I Am." I am whatever you say i am.
If I wasn't then why would i say i am.