Shayne definitely is coming across like the kind of guy that would emotionally cheat on his partner without even recognizing that emotional cheating is a thing.
My ex was like this when I confronted him about the emotional cheating he laughed and was like that is not even a thing !! U sound crazy! 😐 I even asked my friends & they just laughed . Ugh .... ya when u have 3 hr convos at night w/other girls . Or talk to 1 ex for hours sometimes daily and text her all the time. Ya thats emotional cheating ! Esp since I had to find out not given the info by him ... ugh .... eventually lead to axtual cheating ... Glad he is an ex now.
No. I think you guys are overinterpreting what happend here. They're on pods, and they were talking with another people. Shayne made an huge mistake and put his marriage to lose right away. I feel ashamed of himself, doing this to this sweet girl, who only had a wish to marry a man. But ok, I strongly belive they got married. Today, she posted a story a picture with "Shame"
I don't fully understand it, but the way Shaina said "she made sure to tell me that" about Natalie rubbed me the wrong way. I've watched ahead and the way she keeps painting Natalie to be the bad guy is really bothersome, instead of just asking Shayne what he's thinking. It feels like internalized misogyny where the other women are suddenly competition for just kind of existing in their lives - esp in this case since Natalie didn't show signs of holding that against Shaina at all
Shaina is so so messy. She really tried it in that scene you referred to. I was impressed Shayne didn't go for it but really, if it wouldn't hurt Natalie that could have been for the best.
Yes, she tries to put Shayne off of Natalie and then even insult Shayne, which then really put him off, I got the impression. When she bad mouths them both/together, I think that was a big no no for Shayne 🤣🏖️
I was going to comment on this same thing about Shania saying that and lying, from there I knew she was trouble. Good hypothesis of her internalized misogyny
Why do they never address whether Shayne even shares Shaina's faith? If it is such a dealbreaker for her, you'd think they should address whether he meets her most important criteria!
@@shizzybroon6496 oh never mind I was confusing shayne with the other guy. They probably didn’t address it because despite the fact that Shaina SAYS that it’s at the core of her life…she didn’t bring it up for a really long time. It makes it seem disingenuous that this is such a big deal to her but she doesn’t ask any of the guys about religion.
At the very end of the season when her and shayne meet, he says something along the lines of I never thought you could be with an atheist or something like that so it made me think he could be Christian or faith based? But they never said so
She said it was discussed in pods. Shayne believes in God. She said Not being with Kyle more abt wanting to be with someone who does believe in God, not necessarily religious also that he not making fun of the fact that she believes. Kyle made fun of the fact she believes. She doesn't want that.. If he was atheist, but nice abt it.
Once you’ve dated a “Shayne”, believe me, you don’t bother giving them the “benefit of the doubt”. You take the red flags and walk away with your sanity
Hi Dr Honda! My best friend got me a cameo for my birthday and I ugly cried in the restaurant as i listened to your pep talk 😂❤. Thank you so so so much!! And I'll send you my articles 😄
It’s so funny to me that here Shaina says if he has a girlfriend it changes everything and she doesn’t wanna ruin that. But then when Natalie and him are out of the pods, she goes and says their relationship is a sham and is totally trying to create issues within them.
She changed her mind, lol. Seriously though, I believe this was a power play. She thought if she drew that line Shayne would change his mind but I think Shayne, for all his faults, is too smart to go for that.
not because she doesnt want to ruin it, but it was the start, and for her is hes having a girlfriend, then she basically is saying thet what they are doing is pointless if he has a girlfriend. but they continued talking after that, feelings deepened, and now she is ready to ruin that.
“… when you’re 10 years old- - but, you know, 10 year olds don’t do shh-stuff like this… Ok. So let’s scrap that…” That had me laughing so hard I think I made my apartment neighbors a little annoyed 😂😂😂
your reaction to shayne is validating, i was so put off by him at the beginning but as the season went on i started wondering if i was too harsh on him. it's good to know that you're seeing/hearing what i did. i'm excited to see the rest of your analysis on them, as well as danielle and nick. i've watched some other commentary videos and i've been bothered by how everyone pins all their issues on danielle.
Honestly I couldn’t stand him until he said he was a Celine Dion fan then I started to look at him differently, like maybe this guy isn’t so bad after all 🤣
I was rooting for Danielle and Nick in the pods but now not so much. I feel like he talks down to her. For someone as insecure as Danielle that is surely going to make things worse.
@@ktsb1563 I really liked him in the beginning too and still mostly do, but I think he does have some issues, especially when he was talking about how he never felt like a part of his family and then meeting his family they are so cold and indifferent to him and just mocking him for his OCD tendencies. I feel like that was a little window into some much deeper trauma.
OMG Yes! She just wants Shayne to choose her so she does everything to make Natalie look bad. Idk if u saw the reunion, but i was shocked the hosts asked Natalie why did she rub it in Shaina's face when she didn't...
Broader topics for revisiting 3:00 Being judged wrongly, frantic, taking ownership of bing annoying 5:45 Giving a plausible explanation, otherwise it points to some personality issue 12:16 Getting into a relationship that's not good for you. Reasons 20:50 Lying a lot. Reasons 27:10 ''Gaslighting'', dominance, psychopaths being a walking trainwreck, childishness 33:55 Wanting all of the love and not caring about their feelings too 37:20 Childishness, moral code "woman to woman", poliamory 40:50 losing a partner / losing a toy / losing the potential Thank you Dr Honda
It kills me every time you say "yikes". Most appropriate response, and I'm sayin' it right along with ya! Also love the repetition of "self-described tool", like an insult with plausible deniability.
They all seem so mindless. Tricia was a huge plant. And they hadddd to have tried setting up the love square dilemmas. Also I feel like Shayne and Shaina would have literally been better but Natalie went full wife mode and I think he got more mom vibes from her and felt like safer but idk he def likes Shaina more.
@@Vivicci.x yessss! I read Trisha deactivated her HUGE following on Instagram (8000 followers). Are you caught up with all the episodes? Because my first impression was similar to yours. But now, not quite anymore haha, but, guess we'll see :D
Okay right. I thought nick and Danielle would be a good match the first episode. All other episodes omg what a tragic time! A week in fighting like that? They can’t stop fighting over everything what a headache. None of the couples feel like a Cameron and Lauren to me at all😕
Shayne was trying to get Shaina to ‘profess her undying love for him’ when he asked - why do you care? I’ve noticed several times he has made reference to pretty much needing his self esteem to be fed and that’s what he responds to best. That’s what the whole class clown persona is about too. Attention. My son got in trouble a lot in school for joking and talking too much. He’s 19 now and admits he was “chasing that high” He struggles with self esteem issues and says he just liked the attention. Natalie was more forthright about her feelings and compliments and I think that gave her a leg up on Shaina. Shaina probably tapped into his need to be seen as attractive sexually with all the flirting. The connection with Natalie seemed to be on a different level. He seems empathetic but in a child like way gets caught up in getting his esteem needs met. When that’s threatened - temper tantrum. But I agree there’s still no excuse for the deception and disregard for others feelings. Intentional or not So yeah agree agree Dr Honda cuz it sounds like I said a lot of what you already said lol!
100% this, his scary temper tantrum about not getting enough attention before the wedding was crazy. How many times did she say she was so into him and couldnt wait to marry him etc and yet that STILL wasnt enough for him because she didnt reassure him 24/7..which just sounds emotionally draining.. Its sad because it if I was natalie I wouldnt know if he like me for me or liked me because of the compliments I gave him 24/7 and because I proped his delicate ego 🤷♀️
Dr Honda, because of your videos about lying, I have been reflecting inward. I tend to lie more than I’d like to admit. I used to lie mainly during periods of mania and financial irresponsible related. Since being medicated and therapy, I have progressed a lot. My parents lied and used me as a cover in their different marital affairs. I just remembered that during this video. Thanks. That’s why we watch.
I had the same reaction to this specific comment. I usually feel no remorse lying to people I don't care about, and I realize now that my parents, and my grandma are liars. They would especially lie by omitting, and about my dad's violence habits.
I feel like Shayne wouldn’t be saying things like “why do you care” if he actually was going through complex, genuine feelings of conflict between these two women
That said, I guess feelings can be expressed a multitude of ways. From what we can see on the show, he doesn’t seem to be feeling any genuine dedication to either woman. Feel like he’s one of those guys people call a tool because he’s immoral and lacking empathy but then he tries to own it by pretending it’s because he doesn’t have enough of a filter or something. Just a guess though
I was actually hoping these two would get together rather than with Natalie. Natalie is much more mature than this. Shaina and Shayne match each other better.
@@Fluffy288 for selfish viewer purposes, I honestly don't think I'd be able to stand Shaina on screen for longer than we already had to endure, Natalie's smile and personality have been a joy to watch so I'm glad we got that
I think the reason Shaina is not walking away is because it is becoming more about winning the guy than anything else. She is thinking I’m a blonde with big boobs how dare I not win the guy. That’s just my opinion
@@Theohybrid yeah true I think it’s a mix of both, she reminds me of Regina George from Mean Girls with Aaron Samuels and Lindsey Lohan. She became more obsessed with not letting Kat win the guy than she was about the actual guy
"he's got to be trolling... Or he's an idiot... I mean... He's got to be trolling or he's an idiot!...And if Shaena has half a brain..." Literally laughing so hard right now. Also the true crime lover in me got way too excited when you brought up Ted Bundy. Ever think of doing some true crime doc reactions 👀
I had an ex who used to lie constantly and about the most random things to his family and others (and his mother and him often made my participate in lies of their own) and it made me feel horrible and I wondered constantly what they were lying to me about so seeing Dr. Honda’s reaction to Shane resonates with me so much. Thank you!
Dr. Honda, please react to love is blind: japan! We need you there, please! I'd love to know your opinions about the show and particular problems that I have never been seen in a show before!
Commenting to boost this. I can't get enough of LIB Japan. It's so sweet and heartwarming. I think Dr. Honda could also potentially provide some valuable cultural context
Yup, I'd love that too! It was weirdly refreshing and motivating to see how the couples listen to criticism/other views without interrupting and how calm everyone seemed even when challenged? Makes me reflect on my behaviours when faced with criticism.
He comes off as so stupid but he's actually really good at manipulating and gaslighting people. It's kind of fascinating how natural of a reflex it is for him to gaslight especially and the part where he starts smacking the markers on the ground like a huge angry toddler was actually scary. He needs to do extensive therapy before he tries to be in a relationship with anyone, I thought I was being too harsh about him at first, because he's the opposite of what I would personally be attracted to... but he's just proving me right at every turn
Yeah he didn't become anyhow nicer as the episodes went on... I feel sorry for whoever ends up with him, 'cause as you said, he's extremely manipulative and gaslights women.
The dog hair part was golden 😂 All pet owners understand and relate. To this episode : when man asks "what are you wearing" it means he wants to proceed to a more intimate level of conversation and in a chat usually after this question men ask for nudes. Personally for me it's a red flag, there is a lot of interesting things to talk about, world is interesting beautiful place. To a topic of breaking up with a person: sometimes is necessary and protective to make a cut. We bring partner into life of our family, mom, dad, kids, pets - it's important to bring into their life kind good human with a good heart.
Your "Love is Blind" reactions are my ultimate favorite probably because I enjoy watching this show and also this is how I found your channel a couple years ago when you reacted to the first season. Thanks for sharing
Yeah , I thought this was terrible. I quickly put him in a deplorable human box but he has slowly gained favor after this terrible betrayal. Natalie may need support after watching this , understandably so
I think he gets some kind of sexual gratification from talking to shaina and doesn't want to cut that off any sooner than he has to, but has a deeper emotional connection with natalie
Im so glad I stumbled on this channel. I’m currently studying clinical psychology and these kinds of tv shows are my guilty pleasure. Merging these two worlds in this intricate breakdown is amazing! I’m learning so much, thank you Dr Honda!
Omg Dr Honda your face when watching Shane flirt with Shaina lying on the floor had me laughing so much 😭 that's how I felt watching this episode also lol
I don’t understand how any woman is attracted to this guy 🤪 his voice alone is like nails on a chalkboard to me, and his whole demeanor is off-putting.
@@iStorm-my5fp he's definitely not everybody's cup of tea physically, besides that is extremely irrelevant in this case as the contestants cannot see what he looks like at this stage
I have to agree. And it's not his fault, but his teeth are bizarre 😅 My mom and I couldn't help but see a resemblance between Shayne and a young Gary Busey
Doctor POLITELY hating on Shane love it! He was completely out of control and out of line based on the edited clips we see here! But no matter how they edit it he did mess up and lead those ladies on I agree doctor this was much more intense then Barnett! Big YIKES!
@@Fluffy288 I mean after his first outburst in the pods maybe she was hesitant based on that and maybe situations in the past? Or she brought things up in private when the cameras weren't rolling.
Without fail, every single time Dr. Honda starts to scratch the surface on the true descriptors of a psychopath - that is when he starts to describe my ex. And then I'm always on the edge of my seat, "uh-huh . . Mmm-hmmm . . " And then he says, "but that's like 1-2% of people" and moves on. 🤪 My therapist has convinced me that the label doesn't really matter, but it still would bring me comfort, validation, and some resolution to hear a professional say - "yeah, you were dealing with a psychopath. Yes, all of those red flags you let fly were REAL red flags." Would love a deep deep dive on this 1-2%.
I totally understand where you're coming from! I feel the same about a parent, and I'm very convinced that they have some kind of cluster B personality disorder, but whether or not your ex (or my parent) has a diagnosis doesn't take away or invalidate your experience. What happened still happened, you don't need someone to "approve" of your trauma to make it real. I think you're blaming yourself for too much. There's a difference between ignoring the red flags and not seeing the red flags. Maybe you just didn't see or think anything of them at the time. Most people in the honey moon phase of the relationship don't notice these things. Hindsight is 20/20 after all! I don't think it's fair to blame your past self for not doing more. You didn't have the knowledge then as you do now and your ex didn't need your permission to hurt you, he chose to do that all by himself. I'm happy you're trying to heal after all that, hope your therapist is a helpful and kind one!
I think that in the same way Dr. Honda refrains from diagnosing these people he watches but doesn't personally know, your therapist probably feels uncomfortable making that diagnosis without knowing your ex. It doesn't invalidate your experience at all! And this random stranger is gonna agree with you that if this person has the markers of a psychopath as described by Dr. Honda/the research, he probably is one imo. But red flags are red either way~ Glad this person is an EX.
@@TheEmeraldLady Thank you so much for your words and thoughtfulness.❤ I could definitely stand to give myself some grace - we all probably could - but I have to consciously remind myself of it. I did see the red flags, and I ignored them, along with my intuition, for too many years. Developed a knack for a short-term memory to keep myself kind of sane and functional. Still, I ran the gamut of every other explanation on his behalf: abandonment, childhood trauma, insecurity, envy, addiction, brain damage, emasculated by me, pervert, pathological liar, con-man, lack of empathy, Michael Keaton in Pacific Heights chaos-creater . . . two years after he was gone and I became the book between two book ends (and our child the pawn) . . .the pinnacle point of the triangle . . . It wasn't until then that I even learned about NPD - and not until then that I really truly experienced the spiraling of CPTSD (and the physical effects and AGING!!) I've never been much into labels, so I didn't even know what they were. And now 3 years after my discovering NPD, hearing Dr. Honda's tidbits on psychopathy, I realize I may have still been giving the benefit of the doubt. It's not a natural thing for benefit-of-the-doubt givers to even imagine that such people exist. And we can forgive and forget for a really long time, until the day comes when we ask, "Are you going to be able to forgive yourself? . . for allowing this?" So continues my journey . . . To forgive myself and love myself . . . And that grace . . . Ahhhh, that yummy, soft grace.🙌❤ @Emerald Lady Thank you again for your words and love. My therapist is wonderful. And she's not wrong that someone else's diagnosis or label is irrelevant. He wasn't the beginning of my journey, and he won't be the end. He was the catalyst for me to heal me - for both my inner child, and my actual child. And as a mom to a child who gave me the ONLY label I answer to, I can absolutely appreciate the damage a parent can do to a child . . . No matter your age, no matter when it hits you. All of my love to you. And blessings for your healing.❤🐻
@@BanaBerri Oh yes, absolutely! My therapist has no grounds to diagnose the ex, and she wouldn't. She's great and understands I'm just venting and not expecting affirmation on a diagnosis she can't and won't make. And then we get down to business, on me.😄 And we go waaaay back into the memory hole, before the ex. Sigh, though, he's my son's dad. But, you know, if it weren't for that circumstance, I wouldn't have been the mom I am, and I wouldn't have ever sought therapy. Because the only reason I sought it 7 years ago, was for my son's sake. And now I'm focused on healing me, for both of our sakes. I have to give a shout-out to God on this one. I asked. He answered.🙌❤🐻
Being with a psychopath is very disorientating. Even if your ex is or isn't clinically a psychopath, your experience was likely still traumatic enough for you to want answers. Who knows if you ever will get answers around why but I hope that you still get healing and resolve regardless as you move onwards in life.
"He's gotta be trolling, or he's incredibly unintelligent." His lack of intelligence makes him appear to be trolling. Given the prior behavior I've seen from him (including the frat jokes), I'm guessing he's just... actually lacking in IQ.
another hypothesis could be that shayne is afraid of rejection and is just saying what he needs to to pacify both women so that they won't leave him. he doesn't know what he wants, he's just so scared of them rejecting him. This could also explain his goofball persona, because he's afraid that people will reject the real him, so he leans into the annoying tool so if people don't like him, he can justify why they don't like him. and it's not him they don't like, but the persona he puts on. I think he is really conflicted about what he's doing
1-2% of the population is a lot of people!! There are around 200 adults on my street, and I'm not sure if that means that there are 2-4 people who are psychopaths around me or if they are all concentrated in another suburb 😬
It’s scary but probably true. You have to remember not all psychopaths are murderers or violent. For instance they say it’s like 12% of CEOs that are psychopaths, way more than gen pop. They still lead relatively normal lives, but don’t feel any grief for exploiting others for their gains.
In your mind you have hope: Shaina will be emotionally smart and empathetic and will inform Natalie how Shayne flirted with her after breaking up with Shayne. In reality however it's worst: Shaina accepts Kyle's proposal. She then goes back to Shayne, confessing her love just before he proposes to Natalie. Then she wants to hook up Natalie with a friend if her relationship with Shayne fails. She calls Shayne and Natalie's relationship during a conversation with Shayne in phase 3 a fraud,telling him her feelings and trying to break them up. Several times. She is mocking them for holding hands. Did I miss something? Well,it is safe to say that she has NOT half a brain as you suggested or hoped.
@@jojobee42 I mean,Shayne is not slightly better. I don't wanna judge but hey,they make it very difficult!! If it was scripted, for the drama or if they are really that shallow.... Who knows.
I started watching love is blink Japan, and is so interesting comparing the couples , how they communicate , how their culture impact their interactions and the way they connect with each other.
Definitely an interesting difference. 🤔 Like, when one guy mentioned how he saw a connection but in the same breath that he doesn't feel anything. It's like saving face of Tatemae vs their true feelings in Honne.
YES!! Exactly! It surprises me that the dr. Does not talk more about the different types of narcissism… psychopath, sociopath….overt / covert narcissist… He can’t diagnose off course, but it would be interesting if he mentioned the difficult clues we get…
@@MrCph2200 he talks about NPD and the other stuff on his podcast quite often, granted not often in relation to these shows but nonetheless it's really interesting :)
@@MrCph2200 I mean the terms psychopath/sociopath are not really used as diagnoses. There is APD which he does touch on in this video... Either way, narcissistic personality and antisocial personality "psychopathy" disorders are really misunderstood, misused as terms and misrepresented by laymen
As a Psych RN for many years and soon to be a Psych NP..I find your vids and commentary fascinating…and entertaining lol.. Thank you for the good insight.. to others and in turn ourselves ☺️
I've had to pause this video several times as watching and every time, Dr. Honda's face looks so funny! I'm so sorry for pausing you into these facial expressions Dr. Honda haha
Dr Honda have you also been watching the Japanese version of Love is Blind? It's interesting how different it is, it feels much more romantic than the US version (which feels more played for drama). Also it's funny how there are some cultural differences I didn't know (like one of the woman calling one of the guys "a real Kyuushu danji 九州男児"!)
I love that we can have " real" situations play out and have an actual phycological evaluation of the behavior ! I just started watching this and I have already learned so much.
As shitty as Shayne’s actions are, I identify with him a lot. And you’re right, at least for me. My mom raised me consistently saying that lying is okay now and then. When I was in middle school I saw my mom texting inappropriately with a man, and reminiscing about the past (before she met my dad). I remember I screen grabbed it and printed it out and confronted her with it one day. I thought she was cheating. She got super angry at me and told me she did nothing wrong and that I was in the wrong for invading her privacy. My mom is extremely detached and intellectual and sometimes I think a bit sociopathic. Shes a really affectionate and loving person but I’ve never seen her display real empathy. My dad is an alcoholic so of course he lied constantly about everything. I take after my mom in a lot of toxic ways and one of those is lying. With my ex I would lie about the dumbest shit all the time. If I just didn’t want him to know what I did that day, for whatever reason, or I was in a mood, I would lie. I also cheated on him emotionally throughout our whole 1.5 year relationship. And I can’t say I’ve really changed. I still lie often, to avoid conflict and blame. I lie by omission and lead on multiple people because I want to keep my options open. I know I’m the bad guy. And it’s hard to change when it’s what you’re comfortable doing. Being an honest, committed person requires vulnerability and a lot of us are not up for the task.
I mean this in the most LOVING way possible but I really hope you pursue therapy. As someone who used to lie for no reason too, therapy can really help you figure out why the truth is so off putting. You’re not a bad person. Please don’t think you are, once you find clarity you’ll realise that the truth just seems scary. Nobody will be mad at you for being your authentic self, and you shouldn’t hide from you either.
The fact that you're aware of that is already such a great thing. With the right guidance and tools you'll be able to do great work on yourself. There's a lot of anxiety and shame around lying and you'll find life so much more enjoyable once you begin to tone that down. Look for help. You deserve it 💚
As someone that had done the same stuff as you, I can attest that being authentic and vulnerable comes with a fulfillment that is unparalleled. Sure, it’s scary and takes practice at first but after awhile you’ll wonder why you didn’t operate like that all along. It also attracts higher quality people into your life. Good luck!
"Whatever I have to do to prove to you that I'm fully focused on you, I'll do it" I'm only 5 mins in and I'm frustrated that Shayne still didn't get the point. That wasn't what Natalie was mostly upset about it! I think she was more so upset about him making empty promises then blowing up at her for nothing. Shayne being interested in other people wasn't the major issue. Ugh, this guy. According to other comments, he gets better later on. I hope so lol. edit: In the words of Dr. Honda: yikes. I mean, yikes.
I feel like Shayne just said what he thought the women wanted to hear in the moment. I honestly think he would have said the same thing to Natalie if she had said she was the one in the pod…like he would have said oh Natalie you were who i was hoping for. Basically just feeding them all BS. He seems to just want to be on the show and have his options.
Yeah, when it showed her smiling gleefully at Natalie's crying anguish, I thought that was pretty odd. I thought it was bad editing but it actually was true. She is weird.
HOLY. HECK. please react to Episode 7 of the new Bachelor!! They had the contestants go to COUPLES THERAPY and at the end the "therapist" said to the whole group that someone was "being performative" but didn't tell Clayton WHO????? absolutely LIVID about the misuse of the "therapist" just to stir up more drama.
I think it's really important to remember that Shayne JUST lost his father. He talks about wanting to get married so his mom can be there. I think Shayne might want to want to settle down, but he doesn't actually want to do it. His behavior is still deplorable though!
To me, Shayne comes off as a guy who has dated via dating apps A LOT. To him it’s normal to have one romantic interest he’s relatively serious about, while continuing to talk to and flirt with other women just for the attention. I suspect he’s not thing about the fact that he might actually meet Shayna face to face at all.
He thought he was her only prospect and that she would go home..lol. But instead, she accepted Kyle's proposal, knowing she wasn't feeling him, at all.
Also, another major cause of lying is having strict parents where it wasn't okay to be yourself or express yourself truthfully. That's the case with me. I don't so much "lie" as I do hide things. I find myself hiding stupid things that really don't matter in any way, because I would have gotten in trouble as a child for doing those things. One of the things that really stuck with me was when my friend pointed out that she never really had to lie to her parents, but she had to lie to mine. Everytime we were together I would brief her on the story we were going to tell my parents if they asked questions. I told her which parts to leave out (like if we made a trip to the gas station to buy candy with our quarters and change), or completely change up the places we had been...so if we went to the mall and walked around the stores, I would say we watched a movie at her place. Honestly, I can't even remember the moments these things would happen, but I do remember always having a story prepared...sometimes the story was even the TRUTH but I had to make sure we were both on the same page so they wouldn't question us further or think we were lying when we weren't. I often got in trouble for telling the truth, and I learned what things to omit, even if they were innocent and harmless, to avoid arguments. As an adult, its still something I struggle with...learning that admitting a mistake won't cause my entire world to blow up.
The best liars I ever met were Preacher‘s kids. With huge alligator tears, they would lie straight to your face. It was impressive and disturbing at the same time.
“Yikes. I mean… yikes. He knows women talk. He’s gotte be trolling or he’s incredibly unintelligent. Not even 10yos would do that.” What women think when they’re dating men.
His behavior is exactly the reason why people should be calling him out and ultimately not giving him any further attention.. but when listening to dr. Honda say that's exactly what would get him on more reality tv shows, would get him social media fame etc, it really makes me feel sick to realize that so many people encourage and give these jerks platforms to continue hurting others.
I'm watching the new set of episodes and i seriously don't understand what these ladies see in this guy. At all. It seems like Natalie went through with the relationship just to win against Shaina. And I don't think Shayne cares for either of them, he just likes the way their attention and adoration makes him feel. Bleh.
Shayne is only ever looking for the most validation possible. If this means he has to tell Nathalie, that she is the only girl he is interested in, he will do that in a split second. If in the next moment, he needs to tell Shayna that she is super hot to get the affirmation he needs, he will do that right away. When he was asked on the Show, why he would like these girls, he would say, that it is because they told him, that they fancied him. So for him his life seems to be about getting the most narcissistic supply he can get, as long as he can get it. That is all that matters to him.
wow just wow, these girls deserve so much better than this bs from him. Like why let someone try you like this. Its sad and frustrating to watch but it is what it is I guess
I’m always wondering if anybody see how much they drink alcohol in this show. Not even here in this pods, but outside too. In the latest episode you see that alcohol is practically always place somewhere. I mean I’m not saying that they are have some problem with substance, but just I wondering how much it influence their behaviour…
I know we can't diagnose from afar, but I'm speculating that Shayne has ADHD. It would fit with Dr. Honda's hypothesis at 34.00 - where he speculates that Shayne might have been rejected many times during his dating history, due to what is seen as impulsive and immature behavior. Later on in the series, we learn that Shayne can't fall asleep without the T.V. on, which in itself might mean a lot of things. But to me it could point to someone who is neurodiverse.
@@MrCph2200 That's very interesting. I wonder that's because of the level of emotional immaturity that can accompany ADHD or neurodiverse individuals? Not that it is their fault that they may have emotional dysregulation, as being neurodiverse can make it more difficult to learn empathetic behavior - and I know I'm generalizing here. These individuals may have less opportunity to develop reciprocal understanding in relationships, as they may often be rejected due to behavioral traits. With clinical narcissism you see a level of emotional immaturity, where the person has impaired empathy and is very self-focused and also they tend to regard relationships as transactional. So I agree there could be some cross-over - but "total speculation" on my behalf.
I have adhd and immediately thought Shayne did as well. We can sus each other out sometimes. But the idea the narcissism is linked to adhd is damaging, and not backed by data at all. The “emotionally immature” comment can be true for those who are younger as our pre frontal cortex develops slower, but at shaynes age it’s fully developed. And people with adhd are no more/less emotionally immature than others, we express ourselves differently. We can come across as selfish at times, because our thought processes aren’t understood. But that’s not what Shayne is doing. Shayne is an asshole with adhd not an asshole because of it.
Shaina doesn’t tell Natalie what happened. Seems she’s also playing games (playing the juvenile “what are you wearing game), maybe she’s offended Natalie was chosen over her, & she’d be happy to have Shayne all to herself… and probably seeks having more than one man to choose from.
![Eminem - Fuel (feat. JID) [Official Lyric Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/t5H_CewqpKA/mqdefault.jpg)
Shayne definitely is coming across like the kind of guy that would emotionally cheat on his partner without even recognizing that emotional cheating is a thing.
He seems like the guy who would cheat cheat and then gaslight you that you made it up in your head lol
My ex was like this when I confronted him about the emotional cheating he laughed and was like that is not even a thing !! U sound crazy! 😐 I even asked my friends & they just laughed . Ugh .... ya when u have 3 hr convos at night w/other girls . Or talk to 1 ex for hours sometimes daily and text her all the time. Ya thats emotional cheating ! Esp since I had to find out not given the info by him ... ugh .... eventually lead to axtual cheating ... Glad he is an ex now.
Nah, he knows exactly what he's doing. He's keeping his options open and lying as to how much he likes each one of them to have them wanting him more.
No. I think you guys are overinterpreting what happend here.
They're on pods, and they were talking with another people.
Shayne made an huge mistake and put his marriage to lose right away.
I feel ashamed of himself, doing this to this sweet girl, who only had a wish to marry a man.
But ok, I strongly belive they got married.
Today, she posted a story a picture with "Shame"
100%
And then he'd turn it around and be toxic to the girlfriend if she found out.
I don't fully understand it, but the way Shaina said "she made sure to tell me that" about Natalie rubbed me the wrong way. I've watched ahead and the way she keeps painting Natalie to be the bad guy is really bothersome, instead of just asking Shayne what he's thinking. It feels like internalized misogyny where the other women are suddenly competition for just kind of existing in their lives - esp in this case since Natalie didn't show signs of holding that against Shaina at all
Shaina is so so messy. She really tried it in that scene you referred to. I was impressed Shayne didn't go for it but really, if it wouldn't hurt Natalie that could have been for the best.
Yes, she tries to put Shayne off of Natalie and then even insult Shayne, which then really put him off, I got the impression. When she bad mouths them both/together, I think that was a big no no for Shayne 🤣🏖️
I was going to comment on this same thing about Shania saying that and lying, from there I knew she was trouble. Good hypothesis of her internalized misogyny
@@daphiniquasimmonds511 or racism?
@@princesstelevision67 entirely possible as well
Why do they never address whether Shayne even shares Shaina's faith? If it is such a dealbreaker for her, you'd think they should address whether he meets her most important criteria!
I watched and I found it pretty clear that he was atheist.
@@sallycinnamon5370 How did you come to that conclusion?
@@shizzybroon6496 oh never mind I was confusing shayne with the other guy.
They probably didn’t address it because despite the fact that Shaina SAYS that it’s at the core of her life…she didn’t bring it up for a really long time. It makes it seem disingenuous that this is such a big deal to her but she doesn’t ask any of the guys about religion.
At the very end of the season when her and shayne meet, he says something along the lines of I never thought you could be with an atheist or something like that so it made me think he could be Christian or faith based? But they never said so
She said it was discussed in pods. Shayne believes in God.
She said Not being with Kyle more abt wanting to be with someone who does believe in God, not necessarily religious also that he not making fun of the fact that she believes. Kyle made fun of the fact she believes. She doesn't want that..
If he was atheist, but nice abt it.
Dr. Honda’s unamused face when Shayne makes the nonya business “joke” was simply priceless 😂
"So I think that's some of that self-identified 'tool' behavior." Awesome.
🤣🤭
I'm at 9ish 9ui
L O L. Yikes. I mean. So. What is happening 😂
@@invisiblek5783 Hahahha he's so unintentionally funny sometimes!! He is so serious and analyzes everything. I love that xD
I do not know how TWO women can fall for this guy while he treats both of them so badly. What’s the appeal?!
Also, Dr. Honda has grossly overestimated Shaina’s character, haha.
Ego from the women not wanting to "lose"
They’re isolated from the world and sleep deprived.
@@MegaBecks1981 and drunk.
@@MegaBecks1981 and full of alcohol
Once you’ve dated a “Shayne”, believe me, you don’t bother giving them the “benefit of the doubt”. You take the red flags and walk away with your sanity
Have you seen the Bachelor party episode yet? 😲
Oh yes... never again.
Yawn
@@iLoveBoysandBerries Misogynist alert ⚠️ 📢
holy shit.. so true 🥰
Hi Dr Honda! My best friend got me a cameo for my birthday and I ugly cried in the restaurant as i listened to your pep talk 😂❤. Thank you so so so much!! And I'll send you my articles 😄
❤️❤️😭
Ohmigosh this is the most wholesome thing ever. You have such a great friend ❤
happy birthday!! you are so loved!!
Thank you so much fellow deserving listeners ❤❤❤
Wow what a thoughtful gift!
It’s so funny to me that here Shaina says if he has a girlfriend it changes everything and she doesn’t wanna ruin that. But then when Natalie and him are out of the pods, she goes and says their relationship is a sham and is totally trying to create issues within them.
Hahaha or like when she says she’s a Christian and that her faith is super important but then will have sexually charged convos with Shayne 😂 😂
Or like when Natalie turns into the fiancé and she definitely tries to ruin that 🤣
She changed her mind, lol. Seriously though, I believe this was a power play. She thought if she drew that line Shayne would change his mind but I think Shayne, for all his faults, is too smart to go for that.
I don't have anything to add but I just wanna say your profile picture is so gosh darn adorable 😁
not because she doesnt want to ruin it, but it was the start, and for her is hes having a girlfriend, then she basically is saying thet what they are doing is pointless if he has a girlfriend. but they continued talking after that, feelings deepened, and now she is ready to ruin that.
“… when you’re 10 years old- - but, you know, 10 year olds don’t do shh-stuff like this… Ok. So let’s scrap that…”
That had me laughing so hard I think I made my apartment neighbors a little annoyed 😂😂😂
Yes! I had to rewind to see if I heard it right!!! At 20:39!
I came to the comments looking for this 😂 the Doc keeping it 💯
I died as well 😂😂😂
your reaction to shayne is validating, i was so put off by him at the beginning but as the season went on i started wondering if i was too harsh on him. it's good to know that you're seeing/hearing what i did. i'm excited to see the rest of your analysis on them, as well as danielle and nick. i've watched some other commentary videos and i've been bothered by how everyone pins all their issues on danielle.
@@MiciousDawn nick is so patient. I haven't caught up with the new episodes yet but so far I like him
Honestly I couldn’t stand him until he said he was a Celine Dion fan then I started to look at him differently, like maybe this guy isn’t so bad after all 🤣
I was rooting for Danielle and Nick in the pods but now not so much. I feel like he talks down to her. For someone as insecure as Danielle that is surely going to make things worse.
@@ktsb1563 I really liked him in the beginning too and still mostly do, but I think he does have some issues, especially when he was talking about how he never felt like a part of his family and then meeting his family they are so cold and indifferent to him and just mocking him for his OCD tendencies. I feel like that was a little window into some much deeper trauma.
Honestly though, I feel like he's so much more likeable now that they're out of the pods. They're now the one couple I really hope makes it.
Dr Honda: "love is weird, it's blind"
*awkwardly laughing at his own joke*
.... omg ... my heart 🥺🥺
I found it funny, shaina said Natalie made sure she know. But in fact she asked Natalie just answered. It’s subtle but she is sabotaging.
Yeah - Shaina and Shane deserve each other
@@DocBree13 you probably mean it as an insult but honestly their personality styles are more compatible than his and Natalie’s.
OMG Yes! She just wants Shayne to choose her so she does everything to make Natalie look bad. Idk if u saw the reunion, but i was shocked the hosts asked Natalie why did she rub it in Shaina's face when she didn't...
Broader topics for revisiting
3:00 Being judged wrongly, frantic, taking ownership of bing annoying
5:45 Giving a plausible explanation, otherwise it points to some personality issue
12:16 Getting into a relationship that's not good for you. Reasons
20:50 Lying a lot. Reasons
27:10 ''Gaslighting'', dominance, psychopaths being a walking trainwreck, childishness
33:55 Wanting all of the love and not caring about their feelings too
37:20 Childishness, moral code "woman to woman", poliamory
40:50 losing a partner / losing a toy / losing the potential
Thank you Dr Honda
Thank you for this. This is so helpful
Thank you!
It kills me every time you say "yikes". Most appropriate response, and I'm sayin' it right along with ya! Also love the repetition of "self-described tool", like an insult with plausible deniability.
LOL!!!!
This season's love is blind cast is really something, so excited for each and every one of Dr. Kirk's analyses 😭
They all seem so mindless. Tricia was a huge plant. And they hadddd to have tried setting up the love square dilemmas. Also I feel like Shayne and Shaina would have literally been better but Natalie went full wife mode and I think he got more mom vibes from her and felt like safer but idk he def likes Shaina more.
@@Vivicci.x yessss! I read Trisha deactivated her HUGE following on Instagram (8000 followers). Are you caught up with all the episodes? Because my first impression was similar to yours. But now, not quite anymore haha, but, guess we'll see :D
It’s hard to say I like any of them. 😂
@@LeandroVelez7 right? I think I like Iyanna best. And maybe Sal :D
Okay right. I thought nick and Danielle would be a good match the first episode. All other episodes omg what a tragic time! A week in fighting like that? They can’t stop fighting over everything what a headache. None of the couples feel like a Cameron and Lauren to me at all😕
Shayne was trying to get Shaina to
‘profess her undying love for him’ when he asked - why do you care? I’ve noticed several times he has made reference to pretty much needing his self esteem to be fed and that’s what he responds to best. That’s what the whole class clown persona is about too. Attention. My son got in trouble a lot in school for joking and talking too much. He’s 19 now and admits he was “chasing that high” He struggles with self esteem issues and says he just liked the attention.
Natalie was more forthright about her feelings and compliments and I think that gave her a leg up on Shaina.
Shaina probably tapped into his need to be seen as attractive sexually with all the flirting.
The connection with Natalie seemed to be on a different level.
He seems empathetic but in a child like way gets caught up in getting his esteem needs met. When that’s threatened - temper tantrum.
But I agree there’s still no excuse for the deception and disregard for others feelings. Intentional or not
So yeah agree agree Dr Honda cuz it sounds like I said a lot of what you already said lol!
100% this, his scary temper tantrum about not getting enough attention before the wedding was crazy. How many times did she say she was so into him and couldnt wait to marry him etc and yet that STILL wasnt enough for him because she didnt reassure him 24/7..which just sounds emotionally draining.. Its sad because it if I was natalie I wouldnt know if he like me for me or liked me because of the compliments I gave him 24/7 and because I proped his delicate ego 🤷♀️
"Will you be my girlfriend?"
And then goes straight to flirt with Shayna...
Yikes.
A goddamm clown 🤡.
Pure manipulation
I’m going with the “I want all the love” and “But I don’t *want* to give up my toy!!” hypotheses 🤦♀️🤦♀️💐
It's like he thinks that by admitting that he's a tool it gives him free rein to act like one.
We need a "yikes" counter.
Max. yikes to the yikes today
yikes o meter 😅
Dr Honda, because of your videos about lying, I have been reflecting inward. I tend to lie more than I’d like to admit. I used to lie mainly during periods of mania and financial irresponsible related. Since being medicated and therapy, I have progressed a lot. My parents lied and used me as a cover in their different marital affairs. I just remembered that during this video. Thanks. That’s why we watch.
I had the same reaction to this specific comment. I usually feel no remorse lying to people I don't care about, and I realize now that my parents, and my grandma are liars. They would especially lie by omitting, and about my dad's violence habits.
The way this guy splays himself around the room while talking to the women is worth a video all by itself...
Good observation! Wow
Omg yes🤣🤣
he reminds me of bugs bunny or another cartoon character
The man-spreading he must perpetrate! 🤣 In a pod by yourself, it's harmless, but I bet he's the same damn way on a crowded bus
Geez how about the wedding? The way he fidgeted and skipped down the aisle lol
I feel like Shayne wouldn’t be saying things like “why do you care” if he actually was going through complex, genuine feelings of conflict between these two women
That said, I guess feelings can be expressed a multitude of ways. From what we can see on the show, he doesn’t seem to be feeling any genuine dedication to either woman. Feel like he’s one of those guys people call a tool because he’s immoral and lacking empathy but then he tries to own it by pretending it’s because he doesn’t have enough of a filter or something. Just a guess though
Shaina and Shayne deserve each other. They are both shady.
My thoughts exactly
I was just thinking this. Natalie is way too much of a lovely person for Shayne. Shaina seems to be a much better fit.
I was actually hoping these two would get together rather than with Natalie. Natalie is much more mature than this. Shaina and Shayne match each other better.
@@Fluffy288 for selfish viewer purposes, I honestly don't think I'd be able to stand Shaina on screen for longer than we already had to endure, Natalie's smile and personality have been a joy to watch so I'm glad we got that
and their names sound too similar xD
I think the reason Shaina is not walking away is because it is becoming more about winning the guy than anything else. She is thinking I’m a blonde with big boobs how dare I not win the guy. That’s just my opinion
I mean, she talked to the other guy and was sad that the guy was an atheist.
She does have an competitive edge to herself.
@@Theohybrid yeah true I think it’s a mix of both, she reminds me of Regina George from Mean Girls with Aaron Samuels and Lindsey Lohan. She became more obsessed with not letting Kat win the guy than she was about the actual guy
It's a mix of both for everyone, especially this season.
I think “winning” might be not getting the guy in this case 😂
"he's got to be trolling... Or he's an idiot... I mean... He's got to be trolling or he's an idiot!...And if Shaena has half a brain..." Literally laughing so hard right now. Also the true crime lover in me got way too excited when you brought up Ted Bundy. Ever think of doing some true crime doc reactions 👀
Oooh yes! I’d love to see his opinion of The Jinx doc on hbo
I had an ex who used to lie constantly and about the most random things to his family and others (and his mother and him often made my participate in lies of their own) and it made me feel horrible and I wondered constantly what they were lying to me about so seeing Dr. Honda’s reaction to Shane resonates with me so much. Thank you!
Dr. Honda, please react to love is blind: japan! We need you there, please! I'd love to know your opinions about the show and particular problems that I have never been seen in a show before!
Commenting to boost this. I can't get enough of LIB Japan. It's so sweet and heartwarming. I think Dr. Honda could also potentially provide some valuable cultural context
Oh Man I hope he does too!!!
Yup, I'd love that too! It was weirdly refreshing and motivating to see how the couples listen to criticism/other views without interrupting and how calm everyone seemed even when challenged? Makes me reflect on my behaviours when faced with criticism.
Yes please Dr Honda!
Yes! Would love to hear Dr. Honda's take of the LIB Japan couples!
He comes off as so stupid but he's actually really good at manipulating and gaslighting people. It's kind of fascinating how natural of a reflex it is for him to gaslight especially and the part where he starts smacking the markers on the ground like a huge angry toddler was actually scary. He needs to do extensive therapy before he tries to be in a relationship with anyone, I thought I was being too harsh about him at first, because he's the opposite of what I would personally be attracted to... but he's just proving me right at every turn
Yeah he didn't become anyhow nicer as the episodes went on... I feel sorry for whoever ends up with him, 'cause as you said, he's extremely manipulative and gaslights women.
The dog hair part was golden 😂 All pet owners understand and relate. To this episode : when man asks "what are you wearing" it means he wants to proceed to a more intimate level of conversation and in a chat usually after this question men ask for nudes. Personally for me it's a red flag, there is a lot of interesting things to talk about, world is interesting beautiful place. To a topic of breaking up with a person: sometimes is necessary and protective to make a cut. We bring partner into life of our family, mom, dad, kids, pets - it's important to bring into their life kind good human with a good heart.
totally agree, Veronika. It makes me wonder what you are wea...nevermind. (Was joke, was jooooke ....)
@@mattheusser1390 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
“nonya”, joke’s on him.
Your "Love is Blind" reactions are my ultimate favorite probably because I enjoy watching this show and also this is how I found your channel a couple years ago when you reacted to the first season. Thanks for sharing
Yeah , I thought this was terrible. I quickly put him in a deplorable human box but he has slowly gained favor after this terrible betrayal.
Natalie may need support after watching this , understandably so
God I really hope Natalie watches these reactions one day!
I think he gets some kind of sexual gratification from talking to shaina and doesn't want to cut that off any sooner than he has to, but has a deeper emotional connection with natalie
Im so glad I stumbled on this channel. I’m currently studying clinical psychology and these kinds of tv shows are my guilty pleasure. Merging these two worlds in this intricate breakdown is amazing! I’m learning so much, thank you Dr Honda!
Omg Dr Honda your face when watching Shane flirt with Shaina lying on the floor had me laughing so much 😭 that's how I felt watching this episode also lol
I don’t understand how any woman is attracted to this guy 🤪 his voice alone is like nails on a chalkboard to me, and his whole demeanor is off-putting.
He is good looking muscular and tall with nice hair
@@iStorm-my5fp he's definitely not everybody's cup of tea physically, besides that is extremely irrelevant in this case as the contestants cannot see what he looks like at this stage
@@dopeydiablo yes and no
Talk more bullshit
I have to agree. And it's not his fault, but his teeth are bizarre 😅 My mom and I couldn't help but see a resemblance between Shayne and a young Gary Busey
I think Shayne's intention was to fish out commitment out of his options, and unintentionally emotional cheating along the way.
17:33 Dr. Honda saying ha ha ha ha ha made me literally lol hysterically!
omg same🤣
Cannot explain how much I love this content. Thank you Dr Kirk for brightening my day!!!
Doctor POLITELY hating on Shane love it! He was completely out of control and out of line based on the edited clips we see here! But no matter how they edit it he did mess up and lead those ladies on I agree doctor this was much more intense then Barnett! Big YIKES!
Natalie seems like that one person that never addresses things and let’s it go!
After they got together it was so strange that Natalie never addressed any “flaws” in him. Like he was the perfect fantasy the entire time.
@@Fluffy288 I mean after his first outburst in the pods maybe she was hesitant based on that and maybe situations in the past? Or she brought things up in private when the cameras weren't rolling.
@@Fluffy288 I think she might be idolizing him and when you idolize people, it's harder to see red flags.
Without fail, every single time Dr. Honda starts to scratch the surface on the true descriptors of a psychopath - that is when he starts to describe my ex. And then I'm always on the edge of my seat, "uh-huh . . Mmm-hmmm . . " And then he says, "but that's like 1-2% of people" and moves on. 🤪 My therapist has convinced me that the label doesn't really matter, but it still would bring me comfort, validation, and some resolution to hear a professional say - "yeah, you were dealing with a psychopath. Yes, all of those red flags you let fly were REAL red flags." Would love a deep deep dive on this 1-2%.
I totally understand where you're coming from! I feel the same about a parent, and I'm very convinced that they have some kind of cluster B personality disorder, but whether or not your ex (or my parent) has a diagnosis doesn't take away or invalidate your experience. What happened still happened, you don't need someone to "approve" of your trauma to make it real. I think you're blaming yourself for too much. There's a difference between ignoring the red flags and not seeing the red flags. Maybe you just didn't see or think anything of them at the time. Most people in the honey moon phase of the relationship don't notice these things. Hindsight is 20/20 after all! I don't think it's fair to blame your past self for not doing more. You didn't have the knowledge then as you do now and your ex didn't need your permission to hurt you, he chose to do that all by himself. I'm happy you're trying to heal after all that, hope your therapist is a helpful and kind one!
I think that in the same way Dr. Honda refrains from diagnosing these people he watches but doesn't personally know, your therapist probably feels uncomfortable making that diagnosis without knowing your ex. It doesn't invalidate your experience at all! And this random stranger is gonna agree with you that if this person has the markers of a psychopath as described by Dr. Honda/the research, he probably is one imo. But red flags are red either way~ Glad this person is an EX.
@@TheEmeraldLady Thank you so much for your words and thoughtfulness.❤ I could definitely stand to give myself some grace - we all probably could - but I have to consciously remind myself of it.
I did see the red flags, and I ignored them, along with my intuition, for too many years. Developed a knack for a short-term memory to keep myself kind of sane and functional. Still, I ran the gamut of every other explanation on his behalf: abandonment, childhood trauma, insecurity, envy, addiction, brain damage, emasculated by me, pervert, pathological liar, con-man, lack of empathy, Michael Keaton in Pacific Heights chaos-creater . . . two years after he was gone and I became the book between two book ends (and our child the pawn) . . .the pinnacle point of the triangle . . . It wasn't until then that I even learned about NPD - and not until then that I really truly experienced the spiraling of CPTSD (and the physical effects and AGING!!) I've never been much into labels, so I didn't even know what they were. And now 3 years after my discovering NPD, hearing Dr. Honda's tidbits on psychopathy, I realize I may have still been giving the benefit of the doubt. It's not a natural thing for benefit-of-the-doubt givers to even imagine that such people exist. And we can forgive and forget for a really long time, until the day comes when we ask, "Are you going to be able to forgive yourself? . . for allowing this?" So continues my journey . . . To forgive myself and love myself . . . And that grace . . . Ahhhh, that yummy, soft grace.🙌❤
@Emerald Lady Thank you again for your words and love. My therapist is wonderful. And she's not wrong that someone else's diagnosis or label is irrelevant. He wasn't the beginning of my journey, and he won't be the end. He was the catalyst for me to heal me - for both my inner child, and my actual child.
And as a mom to a child who gave me the ONLY label I answer to, I can absolutely appreciate the damage a parent can do to a child . . . No matter your age, no matter when it hits you. All of my love to you. And blessings for your healing.❤🐻
@@BanaBerri Oh yes, absolutely! My therapist has no grounds to diagnose the ex, and she wouldn't. She's great and understands I'm just venting and not expecting affirmation on a diagnosis she can't and won't make. And then we get down to business, on me.😄 And we go waaaay back into the memory hole, before the ex. Sigh, though, he's my son's dad. But, you know, if it weren't for that circumstance, I wouldn't have been the mom I am, and I wouldn't have ever sought therapy. Because the only reason I sought it 7 years ago, was for my son's sake. And now I'm focused on healing me, for both of our sakes. I have to give a shout-out to God on this one. I asked. He answered.🙌❤🐻
Being with a psychopath is very disorientating. Even if your ex is or isn't clinically a psychopath, your experience was likely still traumatic enough for you to want answers. Who knows if you ever will get answers around why but I hope that you still get healing and resolve regardless as you move onwards in life.
"He's gotta be trolling, or he's incredibly unintelligent." His lack of intelligence makes him appear to be trolling. Given the prior behavior I've seen from him (including the frat jokes), I'm guessing he's just... actually lacking in IQ.
This was such an excellent breakdown. Thanks, Dr. Honda!
another hypothesis could be that shayne is afraid of rejection and is just saying what he needs to to pacify both women so that they won't leave him. he doesn't know what he wants, he's just so scared of them rejecting him. This could also explain his goofball persona, because he's afraid that people will reject the real him, so he leans into the annoying tool so if people don't like him, he can justify why they don't like him. and it's not him they don't like, but the persona he puts on. I think he is really conflicted about what he's doing
And add on to it that perhaps the production has him as a main character no matter what
I love and I'm so thankful for your content, Dr Honda! From Brazil
Can’t wait for you to react to Sal and Malory. Sal has the same vibe as you, such emotional intelligence is not afraid to be vulnerable.
1-2% of the population is a lot of people!! There are around 200 adults on my street, and I'm not sure if that means that there are 2-4 people who are psychopaths around me or if they are all concentrated in another suburb 😬
It’s scary but probably true. You have to remember not all psychopaths are murderers or violent. For instance they say it’s like 12% of CEOs that are psychopaths, way more than gen pop. They still lead relatively normal lives, but don’t feel any grief for exploiting others for their gains.
In your mind you have hope: Shaina will be emotionally smart and empathetic and will inform Natalie how Shayne flirted with her after breaking up with Shayne.
In reality however it's worst: Shaina accepts Kyle's proposal. She then goes back to Shayne, confessing her love just before he proposes to Natalie. Then she wants to hook up Natalie with a friend if her relationship with Shayne fails. She calls Shayne and Natalie's relationship during a conversation with Shayne in phase 3 a fraud,telling him her feelings and trying to break them up.
Several times. She is mocking them for holding hands. Did I miss something?
Well,it is safe to say that she has NOT half a brain as you suggested or hoped.
Yeah she's really something... And more happened after that!
But shhh, no spoilers! ;)
@@jojobee42 I mean,Shayne is not slightly better. I don't wanna judge but hey,they make it very difficult!! If it was scripted, for the drama or if they are really that shallow.... Who knows.
Natalie accepting Shaynes “boyfriend “ proposal definitely made me scream at the screen…!
I started watching love is blink Japan, and is so interesting comparing the couples , how they communicate , how their culture impact their interactions and the way they connect with each other.
Is it on Netflix?
@@once.upon.a.time. it is! The final episode aired today. It is really fascinating, the difference!
@@kirasgirl oh great, thanks! 🙌
Definitely an interesting difference. 🤔
Like, when one guy mentioned how he saw a connection but in the same breath that he doesn't feel anything.
It's like saving face of Tatemae vs their true feelings in Honne.
I would absolutely watch a show hosted by Dr. Honda called “Love is Weird.”
haaaaa
I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if Shayne is some type of narcissist.
YES!! Exactly! It surprises me that the dr. Does not talk more about the different types of narcissism… psychopath, sociopath….overt / covert narcissist…
He can’t diagnose off course, but it would be interesting if he mentioned the difficult clues we get…
I think he's going to see it more when he sees how he acts in Mexico
@@MrCph2200 he talks about NPD and the other stuff on his podcast quite often, granted not often in relation to these shows but nonetheless it's really interesting :)
@@MrCph2200 I mean the terms psychopath/sociopath are not really used as diagnoses. There is APD which he does touch on in this video... Either way, narcissistic personality and antisocial personality "psychopathy" disorders are really misunderstood, misused as terms and misrepresented by laymen
@@dopeydiablo very much so.
As a Psych RN for many years and soon to be a Psych NP..I find your vids and commentary fascinating…and entertaining lol.. Thank you for the good insight.. to others and in turn ourselves ☺️
I've had to pause this video several times as watching and every time, Dr. Honda's face looks so funny! I'm so sorry for pausing you into these facial expressions Dr. Honda haha
Dr Honda have you also been watching the Japanese version of Love is Blind?
It's interesting how different it is, it feels much more romantic than the US version (which feels more played for drama). Also it's funny how there are some cultural differences I didn't know (like one of the woman calling one of the guys "a real Kyuushu danji 九州男児"!)
I love that we can have " real" situations play out and have an actual phycological evaluation of the behavior ! I just started watching this and I have already learned so much.
As shitty as Shayne’s actions are, I identify with him a lot. And you’re right, at least for me. My mom raised me consistently saying that lying is okay now and then. When I was in middle school I saw my mom texting inappropriately with a man, and reminiscing about the past (before she met my dad). I remember I screen grabbed it and printed it out and confronted her with it one day. I thought she was cheating. She got super angry at me and told me she did nothing wrong and that I was in the wrong for invading her privacy. My mom is extremely detached and intellectual and sometimes I think a bit sociopathic. Shes a really affectionate and loving person but I’ve never seen her display real empathy. My dad is an alcoholic so of course he lied constantly about everything. I take after my mom in a lot of toxic ways and one of those is lying. With my ex I would lie about the dumbest shit all the time. If I just didn’t want him to know what I did that day, for whatever reason, or I was in a mood, I would lie. I also cheated on him emotionally throughout our whole 1.5 year relationship. And I can’t say I’ve really changed. I still lie often, to avoid conflict and blame. I lie by omission and lead on multiple people because I want to keep my options open. I know I’m the bad guy. And it’s hard to change when it’s what you’re comfortable doing. Being an honest, committed person requires vulnerability and a lot of us are not up for the task.
I mean this in the most LOVING way possible but I really hope you pursue therapy. As someone who used to lie for no reason too, therapy can really help you figure out why the truth is so off putting. You’re not a bad person. Please don’t think you are, once you find clarity you’ll realise that the truth just seems scary. Nobody will be mad at you for being your authentic self, and you shouldn’t hide from you either.
The fact that you're aware of that is already such a great thing. With the right guidance and tools you'll be able to do great work on yourself. There's a lot of anxiety and shame around lying and you'll find life so much more enjoyable once you begin to tone that down. Look for help. You deserve it 💚
As someone that had done the same stuff as you, I can attest that being authentic and vulnerable comes with a fulfillment that is unparalleled. Sure, it’s scary and takes practice at first but after awhile you’ll wonder why you didn’t operate like that all along. It also attracts higher quality people into your life. Good luck!
"Whatever I have to do to prove to you that I'm fully focused on you, I'll do it" I'm only 5 mins in and I'm frustrated that Shayne still didn't get the point. That wasn't what Natalie was mostly upset about it! I think she was more so upset about him making empty promises then blowing up at her for nothing. Shayne being interested in other people wasn't the major issue.
Ugh, this guy. According to other comments, he gets better later on. I hope so lol.
edit: In the words of Dr. Honda: yikes. I mean, yikes.
I feel like Shayne just said what he thought the women wanted to hear in the moment. I honestly think he would have said the same thing to Natalie if she had said she was the one in the pod…like he would have said oh Natalie you were who i was hoping for. Basically just feeding them all BS. He seems to just want to be on the show and have his options.
Shaina has NO MORAL FIBER… just wait a few more episodes… you’ll see that she’s really a wolf in sheep’s clothing 🙅♀️
Yeah, when it showed her smiling gleefully at Natalie's crying anguish, I thought that was pretty odd. I thought it was bad editing but it actually was true. She is weird.
But she is such a "Christian ", it's a joke but kind of not, the hypocrisy 🙄
@@mandypandy9587 she’s a fake “Christian” only follows God and the Bible when it suits her
None of my friends are caught up on this new season yet, so it's great to hear your thoughts and reactions to this rollercoaster.
HOLY. HECK. please react to Episode 7 of the new Bachelor!! They had the contestants go to COUPLES THERAPY and at the end the "therapist" said to the whole group that someone was "being performative" but didn't tell Clayton WHO????? absolutely LIVID about the misuse of the "therapist" just to stir up more drama.
We accept this from a 5th grader, not a grown man” 🤣 💡
😂 yas
So offensive to 5th graders TBH 😂
Dr Kirk, your content is so reassuring!!!!
Thank you Dr. Honda! I binge watched this last night!
Idk how Shayne became ‘a catch’ in this show. Natalie seems a lot more mature and stable.
15 years being gaslit. I came out not being able to trust any of my memories. It’s devastating
I think it's really important to remember that Shayne JUST lost his father. He talks about wanting to get married so his mom can be there. I think Shayne might want to want to settle down, but he doesn't actually want to do it.
His behavior is still deplorable though!
I think he wants to but isn’t ready. It seems like he wants to be wanted.
To me, Shayne comes off as a guy who has dated via dating apps A LOT. To him it’s normal to have one romantic interest he’s relatively serious about, while continuing to talk to and flirt with other women just for the attention. I suspect he’s not thing about the fact that he might actually meet Shayna face to face at all.
He thought he was her only prospect and that she would go home..lol. But instead, she accepted Kyle's proposal, knowing she wasn't feeling him, at all.
I would wear an “Hypothesize time” shirt!
Much love and appreciation from Germany…your commentary is our everyday blessing 🤲💕
“I love this questions “ this is sooo crazy! I feels so so so bad for Natalie!
Also, another major cause of lying is having strict parents where it wasn't okay to be yourself or express yourself truthfully. That's the case with me. I don't so much "lie" as I do hide things. I find myself hiding stupid things that really don't matter in any way, because I would have gotten in trouble as a child for doing those things. One of the things that really stuck with me was when my friend pointed out that she never really had to lie to her parents, but she had to lie to mine. Everytime we were together I would brief her on the story we were going to tell my parents if they asked questions. I told her which parts to leave out (like if we made a trip to the gas station to buy candy with our quarters and change), or completely change up the places we had been...so if we went to the mall and walked around the stores, I would say we watched a movie at her place. Honestly, I can't even remember the moments these things would happen, but I do remember always having a story prepared...sometimes the story was even the TRUTH but I had to make sure we were both on the same page so they wouldn't question us further or think we were lying when we weren't. I often got in trouble for telling the truth, and I learned what things to omit, even if they were innocent and harmless, to avoid arguments. As an adult, its still something I struggle with...learning that admitting a mistake won't cause my entire world to blow up.
The best liars I ever met were Preacher‘s kids. With huge alligator tears, they would lie straight to your face. It was impressive and disturbing at the same time.
“Yikes. I mean… yikes. He knows women talk. He’s gotte be trolling or he’s incredibly unintelligent. Not even 10yos would do that.”
What women think when they’re dating men.
His behavior is exactly the reason why people should be calling him out and ultimately not giving him any further attention.. but when listening to dr. Honda say that's exactly what would get him on more reality tv shows, would get him social media fame etc, it really makes me feel sick to realize that so many people encourage and give these jerks platforms to continue hurting others.
Dr. Honda i needed these vicdeos so much in my 20s lol, glad to have them now
Natalie is very mature and a good communicator. From the start she has always been on another maturity level than him.
It rings a bell so much, I was in similar situation as Natalie
I really enjoy these videos, I'm glad I found this channel.
Love is Blind JAPAN has soooo much more depth! I learnt so much from it. It'd be awesome to hear your reviews on it! 🌻💚
17:45 Dr. Honda’s look of concern at Shayne’s infamous “what are you wearing” question is everything! 😂
Omg I'm so happy you're analysing and reviewing this show
„On the positive side….-ish“ 😂 love Dr. Honda‘s comments and reflection on every possibility
Can't wait. Much love from Norway!
Dr. Honda, you crack me up with his "yikes" comment!!
I'm watching the new set of episodes and i seriously don't understand what these ladies see in this guy. At all. It seems like Natalie went through with the relationship just to win against Shaina.
And I don't think Shayne cares for either of them, he just likes the way their attention and adoration makes him feel. Bleh.
Same. I think those two should’ve ended up together and Kyle and Natalie would’ve made a better match!
That last part
@@tayahmcrae2418 Agree. Shaina and Shayne are actually a better fit for each other. Natalie is way too mature for the both of them.
Shayne is only ever looking for the most validation possible. If this means he has to tell Nathalie, that she is the only girl he is interested in, he will do that in a split second. If in the next moment, he needs to tell Shayna that she is super hot to get the affirmation he needs, he will do that right away. When he was asked on the Show, why he would like these girls, he would say, that it is because they told him, that they fancied him. So for him his life seems to be about getting the most narcissistic supply he can get, as long as he can get it. That is all that matters to him.
Omg omg cannot believe you are covering this 💛💛💛
wow just wow, these girls deserve so much better than this bs from him. Like why let someone try you like this. Its sad and frustrating to watch but it is what it is I guess
I’m always wondering if anybody see how much they drink alcohol in this show.
Not even here in this pods, but outside too. In the latest episode you see that alcohol is practically always place somewhere.
I mean I’m not saying that they are have some problem with substance, but just I wondering how much it influence their behaviour…
I'm excited to see this contrasted with someone else in a similar situation.
"Love is weird, love is sometimes blind" is one of my favorite Dr. Honda quotes so far
I know we can't diagnose from afar, but I'm speculating that Shayne has ADHD. It would fit with Dr. Honda's hypothesis at 34.00 - where he speculates that Shayne might have been rejected many times during his dating history, due to what is seen as impulsive and immature behavior. Later on in the series, we learn that Shayne can't fall asleep without the T.V. on, which in itself might mean a lot of things. But to me it could point to someone who is neurodiverse.
It’s also interesting that science has shown that there is a higher percentage of narcissism in people who have adhd than the average population
@@MrCph2200 That's very interesting. I wonder that's because of the level of emotional immaturity that can accompany ADHD or neurodiverse individuals? Not that it is their fault that they may have emotional dysregulation, as being neurodiverse can make it more difficult to learn empathetic behavior - and I know I'm generalizing here. These individuals may have less opportunity to develop reciprocal understanding in relationships, as they may often be rejected due to behavioral traits.
With clinical narcissism you see a level of emotional immaturity, where the person has impaired empathy and is very self-focused and also they tend to regard relationships as transactional. So I agree there could be some cross-over - but "total speculation" on my behalf.
I have adhd and immediately thought Shayne did as well. We can sus each other out sometimes. But the idea the narcissism is linked to adhd is damaging, and not backed by data at all. The “emotionally immature” comment can be true for those who are younger as our pre frontal cortex develops slower, but at shaynes age it’s fully developed. And people with adhd are no more/less emotionally immature than others, we express ourselves differently. We can come across as selfish at times, because our thought processes aren’t understood. But that’s not what Shayne is doing. Shayne is an asshole with adhd not an asshole because of it.
ADHD doesn’t excuse him for being a douche
@@chloehelling6859 thank you and sorry if I worded my above statement awkwardly.
Shaina doesn’t tell Natalie what happened. Seems she’s also playing games (playing the juvenile “what are you wearing game), maybe she’s offended Natalie was chosen over her, & she’d be happy to have Shayne all to herself… and probably seeks having more than one man to choose from.
grateful that you you did not edit out the dog hair struggle
Hi Dr. Honda! Thanks for always making great content! Would also love to see you react to Single’s Inferno 🙏🏻🔥
Shayne said at one point that he is really close to his mom, and now I am SO curious to see what she’s like in the “meet the family” part