How to Deal with Unrequited Love
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- Опубликовано: 7 июл 2024
- Are you in love with someone who doesn’t love you back? If you’re dealing with unrequited love, you’re not alone my friend. Social psychologist Roy Baumeister says 98% of people have suffered from unrequited love at one point in their life. So, what should you do about it? How do you move one? Well, here are a few tips on how to deal with unrequited love.
Is your love one-sided? Find out all about it here: • 8 Signs Your Love is O...
Disclaimer: This is not a substitute for professional advice, but general guidance. If you can't relate to any of these signs, please know this feedback is not meant to discredit anyone. It is meant to be a self-improvement guide for those of you who have been feeling a little stuck. We advise you to always listen to your intuition and always do what is right for you.
Writer: Michal Mitchell
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Voice: Amanda Silvera / amandasilvera
Animator: Azélie
RUclips Manager: Cindy Cheong
References:
Barth, F. D. (2015). 6 ways to get past the pain of unrequited love... Psychology Today. Retrieved from www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-couch/201502/6-ways-get-past-the-pain-unrequited-love
Raypole, C. (2019, November 21). Unrequited love: How to deal with it. Healthline. Retrieved from www.healthline.com/health/unrequited-love
Strike, A. (2017, August 10). 6 tricks that can help you cope with unrequited love. Lifehack. Retrieved from www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/6-ways-cope-with-unrequited-love.html
Jessica Engle, M. F. T. (2021, June 10). How to deal with Unrequited Love. wikiHow. Retrieved from www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-Unrequited-Love
Hi everyone! We want to make better and better content for you guys in the next few months. What are some things that you feel could really improve the work that we do? Should we do a combination of submitted stories along with educational content? Please command us.
Hey Psych2go,
For your next video, could you do How to stop falling for fictional characters? I'd really appreciate it.
Thanks!
@-Miracle- Yes lol
@Psych2Go That would be a great idea. I would really love to learn something based on true to life stories. 💛💛💛
@@boomerang7895 I know the feeling I just think it's easier to fall for fictional characters than real people
Dares theys has cares furs mad libs artes sorts baka classes notes pass wot situation beware whirrs dis birb wild lookoot loony clueless lovesick moods modes move gg theys thnx huh oo sojourneys
There is no more painful experience in life than loving somebody who does not love you back.
True...
You are correct and the passing of time does not heal all wounds.The passing of time helps you to deal with the wounds, but the wounds and scars remain.
@@feliciawilliamsgary1989 You are correct as well. Thanks for the affirmation! Hemingway’s words come to mind: “Life breaks us all. Some of us are strong at the broken places.”
Jodie..
I agree :'(
I’m currently dealing with unrequited love at an extreme level, and this video literally gave me a hug. It’s been going on for over half a year now and it’s painful. I wish the best for everyone who is currently dealing with this too, and thank you Psych2Go for making these amazing videos :)
Wish you the best of luck. Once you got over it, you will be stronger than before :)
Keep your head up, it will get better.. i know that's real easy to say, but it's true 💯
View all relationships as temporary. They aren't yours, it's just your turn. Peace.
**gives hug**
Same 🥲 I understand ur pain
The hardest part is when everything you enjoy reminds you of them-
True...😢
Exactly, when you have so much in common and are very alike but they are taken and happy with someone else.
It sucks so much. I’m in mourning and I will have to cut off the friendship to cope and move on.
@@lianhorvat5744 that's what I should do but I can't, she's the most important person in my life right now
Going through same thing
going thru the same thing
"allow yourself to feel whatever you're feeling" best advice you can give anyone ever
💯
even suicidal thoughts,
Yese!
Even the suicidal thoughts too ??? What a bunch of horse shit advice youre spreading on here lol
I feel like the feelings you get from unrequited love are really difficult to overcome. What I find the most anoying, is when you think you have overcame it and suddenly remember her, and you cannot get her out of your mind.
Or when you think you're over it, but then you see them/hear from them again and Oh it all comes back!
What I’m dealing w rn , good luck to us !
Finally moved on 😌 It can be done.
I thought I moved on, until I saw her in a dream. We both liked each other but now I live far away from her and don’t think I will ever see her again.
Life lessons
As an INFP, "stop daydreaming" is literally impossible.
It really is hard
This makes me think im an infp -isfp 🤣
Couldn't agree more
imagine creating a dream world just to be end up with him
i̶m̶g̶u̶i̶l̶t̶y̶a̶b̶o̶u̶t̶i̶t̶
I am an INFP too 😭😭😭 and literally struggling with it
It seems like I'm always dealing with unrequited love, which is both killing my interest in love as well as making me think that I simply can't be loved like that. I know that deep down it's not true, but the feeling is still there
I relate to you uff
Damn, yeah, of all the people I've fallen for this year all of them have been unrequited, I'm tired I need to give this up.
@@cinnyboy2943 the real pain
I can relate to you so much. I've never felt like my love was reciprocated. It feels really bad.
I feel you 😔
0:35 - Accept their feeling and the end of a possible relationship with them
1:18 - Stop daydreaming about them
1:58 - Allow yourself to mourn the idea of being with them
2:43 - Distract yourself with passion projects and new skills
3:11 - Realize they aren't as perfect as they seem
3:46 Know there won't always be closure, still, keep moving forward
thanks for making a completely original comment that no one has *ever* done before
@@Lightning7112 and thanks for making a completely original reply that no one has ever done before. I appreciate it.
Love it! Thanks! ♡
BUT SHE'S PERFECT😭
"Realize they aren't as perfect as they seem". But i already embrace their imperfections as i fall in love with him :(
I've been fighting this for over 2 years, and sadly I'm not 100% over the feeling. But I'm damn sure that I will get over it completely. To everyone out there, who's facing this problem, you are strong, you are brave. This too, shall pass.
It’s been a year this month for me… I thought that was a long time God I hope this ends soon!
@@nedab1067 We will get better ❤️
No it wont
I have been in ‘no-contact’ for almost 8 months. I accept that we will not be together, he has most certainly moved on-but my heart still grieves, I try very hard to just enjoy my life and live for the accomplishments but emotionally, I am essentially dead. I don’t really feel anything as much as I feel the loss of what was the BEST relationship bond I had ever had…and to think it was all just a lie/a con designed to make me feel this way.
Three years ago, i was on one for 7 years. She was my classmate ,highschool buddy/bestfriend since 13 years ago, and gradually i felt some emotion that lead me to thinking that i have some chances with her.
Alongside with her giving mixed signals all those times from time to time, those feelings intensified, though i was a scared person that was afraid to lose our friendship in case things went awkward.
And there i went, into having an unrequited , one sided feeling.
up until 4 years ago that she ghosted me, it felt painful, but time and time, i was slowly being free.
Once you realize how excruciatingly painful this is, you can be more compassionate toward those who love you but you don't love them back. It helps to remember we don't choose who we love. It's quite the mystery how we trip and fall into love.
TL:DR: "Never fantasize about someone and put them on a pedestal, let go and move on, do not stay in a 'friendzone', grieve over the loss of a potential relationship."
Thanks - this is something many if not most will have to deal with at some point in their lives. It's a pity this sort of advice isn't taught at school, given how common the problem is.
Yes!
Right
I realize love can lead to hate. Let me explain, I really like someone even potentially loving them. But, she saw me as a brother. Which I was understanding of it. For 4 months I treated her the same way, but I could not shake the feeling that my actions/interaction were seen as a "brother." I hated that feeling, that I was essentially pretending to be a brother hoping and waiting for something. She did eventually find someone, which I was happy about. For 7 months, my "love" began to turn into jealousy and hate. I hated that it wasnt me and I also hated that feeling of jealousy. Like "why am I stuck on someone who only sees me as a brother?!" My actions/interaction began to dwindle on purpose, I began to distance myself. That means no texting, no quick glance, or even approaching her. At the moment of writing this, I am essentially killing her image out of me. Let tell me tell you guys who are reading this, "if she wanted to love you romantically, she would. If you wanted to love someone romantically, you would." As I said it before, I expressed myself to her and she expressed back. Anyways, if you opened up about yourself to someone and they said something that's doesn't suit your interest. MOVE ON, GROW SOME BIG PANTS. LET YOUR HEART GROW STRONGER FROM THIS PAIN.
LAST BUT NOT LEAST. Never let your love turn to hate. I REPEAT, NEVER LET YOUR LOVE TURN TO HATE. If you began to despise her, wish for her downfall just so you can hop in on her downfall or wish for breakups. That's pure evil, and I say that I am indeed evil because of those thoughts. MY ANSWER TO THIS IS.....ignore, distance as much as possible. If that person confronts you about "why your distancing yourself,"please explain your reason. Two most likely ways how it can turn out. 1) if that person accepts your decision then you both move on and don't not be friends, because obviously some people cant stand being friend with someone they liked [pain?yes. Now move on]...2) if the other person's says, anything on the line of " I'm always here if you need someone to talk to." STOP IMMEDIATELY, don't fall for that cr*p. It will only weigh you down, hoping to rely on that person whenever your hurt. We don't want that since they were the issue to begin with. No point if your decision right?
Final say to everyone who read it this far. Move on everyone, don't be held down by one person. One person doesn't make your happiness, only you can make yourself happy and you know yourself best! Ty for those who read this and enjoy your lovely life.
💛💛💛💛💛
Some of the best advice I’ve ever heard… appreciate the time spent for you to share this. Best wishes.✌🏻
Just a different perspective about a specific part.
I don't think you're evil for having bad thoughts. You would be if you acted on them somehow. We don't actually control where our minds and hearts go, and that's ok. What we do control, though, is what we make with this thoughts. We can follow them, or despise them. I think this last reaction to them is what defines us as being a bad person.
Thank you, I haven't grown some big pants yet, clearly my fault because I'm scared of what they'll say about me to others, if I happen to tell them and be open, and the person I like doesn't do well with secrets or info about relationships.
I'll wait for the perfect chance because I want to move on from being stuck.
Thanks for your great advice.
Thats the reason why I unlocked my ems
It’s really exhausting experiencing this when everything you’ve ever wanted was feeling loved due to never feeling seen during your childhood. So you get hyperfixated on a close friend you’ve never had before, think you feel genuine love towards them and then get abruptly rejected after confessing. And they end the friendship and cut ties.
I don’t wish this to anyone.
this, except they still want to be friends, so you're just sitting there with so many feelings towards them that you know they'll never reciprocate. its so tiring, pretending that everything's fine every time they talk to you about a potential love interest or when you see them flirt with people that aren't you. it hurts, knowing that the relationship that you guys had at the start would never be the same again.
@@squirrellyteeththis is exactly it
Yeah I was discarded 3 times by my "best friend" who I was romantically involved with in the past.
Going through this now hopefully it'll end soon
This is precisely what I needed! I’m trying to move on from my best friend for the past two years but they’re ace-
Even if a more ... intimate relationship isn't a possibility, I hope you're still friends with them.
If they're ace, that shouldn't be a problem.
If they don't like you back, that's the problem you need help with
@@seanmcfadden3712 Thanks and we’re still friends ^^
Same here bro we broken up 2 months ago i still miss her i talked to her yesterday i told her that i love her but she is still cold
Asexual ≠ aromantic. However still sympathy.
You need to fall in love with what the person is. Not what YOU THINK they are, or COULD be.
It’s shattering when mourning a relationship that never was.
Almost harder to do
One of the worst, heart shattering feelings. It pains me every day and night. I hope we all overcome this pain and learn to love ourselves the most. Because we deserve that much. I also hope we can all someday find the right people for us that do love us back :)
I hope so too
The most painful thing is when you ask a very good friend on a date and she rejects you,from the next day she keeps avoiding you for months😔
@@priyanshughosh75 I'm sorry, that's so hard. Try your best to take this time to work on things you enjoy. You are the most important person in your life. All the best, and I hope things work out for you
@@wandereroffates8how are you now?
@@samia6888 I'm good, doing better for sure. It's still hard sometimes, but overall I'm way better. Thank you so much for caring! How are you?
When someone is very clear that they can’t be there for you, you are left with no choice but to leave them. On this planet, there is no one worth waiting for… The sooner one realises this, the better!
He is someone I shouldn’t even have feelings for in the first place. And he has no feelings for me. Yet, I can’t help thinking of him all the time
How are you now?
Unrequited love is one of purest form of love, at the same time it is also the most painful.
Y is it the purest form of love ? Describe
@@SarafNawar-ki6us Because "to love" is a verb, and "to love is to will the good for others". If you love someone romantically in the sense you want to perhaps marry and have kids with them, it is something that could be hard to accomplish. I know because my ex-girlfriend and me had been dating for 3 years, and she dumped me 4 months ago because she told me that "she lost that romantic love for me". I wanted to get married with her and have a lot of children with her. She had been my rock and one of my reasons why I chose not to un@live myself over some really dark and emotionally traumatic events when I was younger. It hurts truly, but I am trying to figure this out since she was the only girlfriend I ever had when I started to hit puberty (I'm in my early 20s). Me and her dated when I began freshman year in high school (I graduated 2023). She wants to be a baker, however I had hoped that could have done both her career and perhaps be more of a housewife while I would be the breadwinner. I never discouraged her doing it, however I discouraged working long hours since if me and her were to have been married, I wanted to spend time with her being romantically and intimately involved and to spend time with our children. I don't hate her, however I do wish she could understand how much of a dumb decision it is to lose attraction for me for the job I am willing to get (since I am in college. I know these are a bunch of extraneous details, but if you could empathize with what I had gone through and her being there by my side, you would see why unrequited love is such a wound (and I am still trying to recover from it).
I think likewise, it’s one of the purest because you are really hoping and believing this person is perfect and you look for every detail to confirm it. Yes it’s idolatry but it’s faith in humanity as well. It’s loving someone at the potential, without judgement. It’s being brave also.. idk we might be totally wrong. But that’s what I think as of now.
It's like you guys know me on a personal level. I'm just getting over being rejected for the second time by the same crush. It hurts. A lot. Thank-you guys so much for all the work you put into these, they mean the world to us.
Damn same... I Feel u
@@jeffnaval9698 sorry about that man, I know that we can both find someone better though.
Don't be sorry lol be thankful rather it caused me slight good change so i think it was a good thing that i meet her 😆
@@jeffnaval9698 I'm glad you think so. I would rather us both attempt to find someone better as well, so let's both agree to try.
Been there, done that, paid dearly for a fantasy. There was this girl in high school who I had an all-consuming crush on. It didn't happen then, in 1973...or 1983...or 1987.
But, in 1995, we got together.
The "love for all time" lasted 350 days before she threw me away. Her family called me Number 24. She could put on a good act for several months before her true self returned. It was very destructive and cost me a ton of child support money.
It's like Garth Brooks says, just because God doesn't answer our prayers doesn't mean that He doesn't care.
Learn from my mistake. If it's not meant to be nothing you can do will change it. You can't make someone change. You can't make someone love you. Put it in your rearview mirror and get on with your life.
I feel this way about my ex. He’s moved on with someone else. He said we could be friends. And I tried, some of his actions confused me. I had to tell him I can’t be friends bc I still feel strongly for him. And it was hard bc I miss him and I wish we could keep going. But I’m not moved on like him. So this video was a hug I’ve needed. It’s been v difficult
This is hard.. I'm going thru the same too.. I don't really know sometimes what to do but then this video popped out 🥺
It is hard, I went through the same and I am glad I got out of it, it's painful, you feel trapped, enjailed within yourself. Thanks God, it does not last for ever and one day you regain freedom 💙
And just when you think that you've got a handle on it Adele comes on the radio...
@banana milk you have to understand that if he's already moved on to a new relationship, that just shows how much he valued you and the relationship you once had. He was able to not look back and that was his choice. It's not fair to let yourself get put under the treads while he's happy with whom he desires. You're better than that, even if I don't know you. If he can be happy, there's no reason for you to not be happy. Keep your head up and always stay beautiful.
I am suffering from unrequited love for my whole life (32 years).
Every single woman which I showed interested in rejected me. It also never happend that one woman showered interest in me. I understand that rejection is part of life, but what should I do if it occurs so long that I suffer from an essentiel part of life?
I've only actually loved one woman romantically. The others were just lust. She was my first love. We had a short, but special connection. We met on a temp job at Cirque du Soleil. Til this day I wish our love story would of continued, but I made my peace with it and got closure. Hope everyone out there finds happiness and good romance in their lives.
Same to you.
Where are you from?
@@ceooflonelinessinc.267 I'm from New York. Why?
@@artsylady3187 Katheryn Tatis.
you did not loved her, you are in love with the idea of what could have been with her... you talk about it being short so you only got to experience the honeymoon phase, so it is easier for you to idealise her.
Oh man, I SOOO could have used this when I was 20 and hopelessly in love with a friend of mine (and yes, 'hopelessly' is the correct term for it 🤦🏻♀️). I spent literal YEARS hung up on him, mainly because I was waiting for non-existent closure as well. I finally managed to pull myself out of that dark hole (as well as realizing that I had some other mental health issues), processed and healed a great deal, found someone new and am now very happily married to him.
I just hope this video helps someone else who needs it xo
I’m in my 20’s. This video is helpful but I am still struggling. What else helped you move on?
I am probably still stuck not having closure and I'm worried that instead of dealing with it, I've given up and closed my heart off completely.
I haven't dated since I was 25. (37 now)
@@Mac_Omegaly oh man
You are amazing :)
I love someone who sees me only as a friend and will probably never again like me that way
That sucks. :( I hope you meet someone new who is nice and attractive. Lots of single people out there for you.
@@ishidacoolp thank you i really hope so
@@CoralineBMariehow are you now?
Unrequited love is the worst. I’m 42 and my best friend is 32. He wants multiple kids with one woman. We were together when I was 36 and he was 26 but he went off and got married, didn’t have kids, and is getting a divorce. We reconnected and were going to try for a baby and we did for two months until he decided he really wants multiple kids with one woman and that kids and semi love is more important to him than no kids and love. So we are still friends. But, I’ve never felt this way about anyone before in my entire life. The first time after we broke up he was in my dreams for years and I never really got over him, though I came to a place where I was ok. When he came back I can’t even explain the level of happiness and joy I had. It still doesn’t even seem real that he was back. But, now I’m back to suffering again. I don’t think the pain will ever go away. It’s absolutely awful, and I’ve been going on dates but everyone else makes me feel dead inside. Big hugs to anyone who has gone or is going through this. Not many of my friends understand it so it’s nice to see there is a community of folks who are struggling with the same thing. I am not crazy! May we all be ok and be loved.
Nicely done. I would add that you do NOT have to be friends, or even to give in to the pretense that the two of you should be friends. The friends speech makes them feel better to because they feel it validates they are a good person, but they don't want to hang out as friends with someone who wants more than they do any more than you want to hang out with someone who has rejected you. When they give you the "We're going to be such good friends" speech, just respond "Yes, I'm sure we will" and then walk away.
If she is offering you friendship, but rejecting you as a romantic partner, I would say: Take the friendship! Romance between men and women is always changing, always in flux, and someone she is in love with today and prefers to be with instead of you, maybe somebody she hates tomorrow. But if you are always there for her as a friend, her feelings for you may grow over time and develop into romantic love. Friendship is the foundation for romance, the stem, while romance is the blooming flower. What is really sad to me is when she rejects you not only romantically, but also as a friend. In other words, she wants nothing to do with you at all. This is truly devastating, especially when you have feelings for her.
bro said like a king
this is exactly my situtation rn
@@frederickrapp5396 but one cannot be hopeful that one day they will accept our love and reciprocate it
and if they don't it will only lead to a great heartbreak after you spent months as friends with them then to find out they fell for a different person and you can do nothing about that
I am still struggling with this after a year. Had nights where i cried myself to sleep, and days where i kicked ass. I took up fitness, hired a professional to kick start my fitness journey, and seeked out therapy to address my emotional trauma. My saving grace has been psych2go, and to keep reminding myself, I may not be where i want to be ,but I am in a better position today than where i was a year ago.
I mean I've been dealing with unrequited love for practically my entire life. I'm 23, and I'm not going to be afraid and say that I'm sometimes jealous and envious of other couples. Because I feel that I have the ugly curse. Always being the chaser instead of the chasee. I mean it takes me a long time to move on. because it keeps happening.
And I hate when they said: "Oh your find someone out there for you". I mean they are some people who are not worthy for love, because they weren't good enough for it.
I've experience unrequited love before, i gotta tell you that this works so well, you can help many people at this. Great video again lol.
For those people who's experiencing this right now... believe in yourself, take your time because moving on takes a long while, especially if that wound is so terrible. Best you can possibly do is, accept that you two can't really be together. Trust the process.
Yes!
Just exactly what I needed to hear right now. I’ve been dealing with unrequited love for nearly five years and now I think this is the sign to accept things the way are.. welp to begin with, i actually already knew that I really got no chance to that person, that’s why I never got to confess and it’s probably also one of the reason why it took me nearly 5 years to get over it..
Same situation
I'm currently dealing with this with my bestfriend. I loved him all these years, and he doesn't have any idea about my feelings, but I'd rather not tell, because I don't want to lose our friendship. I know he only sees me as a friend and nothing else (he told me that). It really hurts, the fact that the one I want can never be mine.
Know what thats like. Hope you are doing well 👍
Same situation bruh. Big hug
I just told my friend I had feelings for her all this time. It hurt so fucking much I really am used to always being called or calling her I’m used to living my life with her. Now it’s over she was my lifeline in my gloomy life. And now I have to push forward it hurts a lot but I couldn’t keep on living like that
The worst part for me was when realizing way too late that through our dating we were just acting as close friends and not particularly romantically, and I kept wishing that we could’ve done more while dating so I got very lonely and mad that we broke it off and I cut ties with them even though they were a great friend and now I lost someone I used to share everything with
You are amazing :)
we were never even actually dating, but it still hurt more than anything when they ghosted me. I really thought they might like me back and I feel so blindsided. This is so much worse than being rejected because I don't even know why they did this. I can't even be their friend anymore. It just hurts so bad
This is exactly what I’m going through right now
The thing is that...no matter how much my logic warns me of the effects and the pain I'm gonna cause to myself, my emotions find a way to make me desperate try for that 1 in a billion chance it will work. My emotions turn that slight glimmer of hope and turn it into a weapon to control me...I honestly feel like I don't have control over myself as anymore. I just do things and try to win her affection despite knowing it can never workout an I'll just end up hurting myself.
You know what I have found is the best way back? Get a makeover, buy some cute new outfits and find somebody to have a good time with. Go to new places. See new things and new people. No expectations. Just fun. Fun begets more fun. Every stop on your path of life is unique and it is leading you to your destiny. Go with the flow....
Just my two cents....because it works..
; - )
I’m now dealing with that situation right now. I confessed my feelings to him on last April and got rejected. He said “ He doesn’t have time to think about love now, he promised his mom that he will be studying hard and he is not ready for it to keep me as a girlfriend besides him”. He also said he sees me as his sister/ best friend and he wants to remain as friends and stupidly, I accepted it. But now, I’m so tired of this situation.Some days, I am happy and most days he makes me cry by leaving my messages unread. Today, he hasn’t seen my messages yet. Hahah… so painful. I usually cry once or twice a week because of him. And, I really hate that. I can’t stand it anymore.
Now, I’m focusing on my own growth, goals and for my highest good. Hope that I can make it. One day, all my wounds will be healed and I will become a better version of myself.
Try to date someone else
Force yourself for first few dates , I don't know your guy , but I bet he's not that special, it's just in your head
I'm facing the same situation, I hope both of us survive, it's indeed painful feeling 😭💔
1. Impossible because of covid
2. Daydreams always leads back to the person
3. Mourning intensifies the feeling
4. Proceeds to write a screenplay of the daydreaming, with songs about the person, and paintings about the person
5. Have learned to accept their flaws
6. *Sigh*
Time heals, sometimes.
The thing is I keep falling for the wrong people😔
Even a decade later, with a clear understanding of my fate, this morning I found myself once more in a dream where we were friends again. The dream faded as I woke up, leaving me shattered all over again.
Cherish sweet memories.
I feel this video. Unfortunately for me I don't want to love anyone ever again because of the pain. I'll be better off this way
How will you deal with unrequited love........suffering, self loathing, self destructive behavior. Joy and happiness arent for everyone otherwise this would be heaven. This is hell for some of us.
my first love was unrequited. but honestly, looking back, it wasn't love. i was only 19. it was being in love with my own idea of who the person was. took me SEVEN YEARS to get over someone who was never mine & never wanted to be. but now he seldom crosses my mind.
Kudos to u girl👍👍❤️❤️❤️
im 18 sam situation istg
I realized how much I am hurt from this one sided love. I need to start loving myself because I’ve been hurting myself so much for the past 3 years and my poor feelings don’t deserve it :(
I'm alright with them not loving me back but It's way more painful seeing them being happy with someone and not with you..
I've been too many times in that situation!
As an actress, I used my feelings to create several characters and stories.
I also started new careers, moved to new homes 🏡 and found new ways to give "that" love to myself.
I believe I grew up a lot and learned more about myself.
Thanks for this video! 😁
Rejection is painful, but it’s inevitable. At some point in one’s life, it’s likely that one would go through the almost unbearable pain of heartbreak. But that’s alright, pain is okay, you can deal with it. As dreadful as you feel right now, know that the pain is going to eventually fade away. And in no time, you’ll be back to the happy sunshine of a person you were before "that person" broke your heart.
I'm so glad I found your channel. You've talked about the things I'm going through every time you upload. I'm going through it all and you're helping me more than you know.
Glad you're here!
Thats the worst. When you dont have closure.
*nervous laughter* It's like you guys looked into my life XD I have feelings for my best friend but she doesn't like me back so I'm trying my best to get rid of those feelings so I can be a better friend because nothing to me is as important as our friendship🤗
I'm going thru this right now. It's crazy I was just thinking about this guy and this vid popped up, must be a sign smh. Please send me prayers and positive energy to get thru this pain
Ditto,but w a woman..
You are not alone i also feel bad ..
@@michaelw.4434 sending positivity and prayers your way..we will get through this together
@@aurorag.12 we will get through this my friend. Stay strong
@@deservetobeheard thank you, you too.it will get better even when you think it wont but it will 🍀
This really buffles me, so I've finally gathered myself up to voice my observation. For the past 4 months your channel has been hitting me with exactly the things that concerned me. This video is one of them, too. Probably just a very fortunate coincidence, though.
She let me in her life. She showed me she was just as interested as I was. Everything was going well for a while, at least I thought so. And then, in the span of approx 1 month, she went cold. And it wasn't just her being indifferent or not having a care in the world (which was and still is a problem she refuses to acknowledge). She allowed me to enter her personal world, both physically and mentally. She let me to come so close to her, I still cannot believe it and no good friend of mine does. And somehow, it ended the same way it started - almost immediately. I'm slowly getting over it, although there is still quite a road ahead of me. But what I will never come to understand is how can a person be so... passive, indifferent. The world is not black and white, that is true. But it's not a middle ground either. There's just not neutrality, anywhere. It all consists of shades of grey. How can one be living and caring not at all?
She was probably afraid of getting to close and being abandoned. So she abandoned you first.
She probably has a fear of intimacy &/or abandonment & probably has an avoidant attachment style. Look these things up if you don’t know what they are.
@@ravenstillwaters5195she didn't. She didn't even have the courage to address anything, like it all would resolve by itself. I was the one to message her first, confess my feelings once more and be straightforward as possible. She barely had anything to say because she doesn't care
@@Lordran__ No fear of intimacy nor abandonment. I looked up this "avoidant attachment style", though. Will think about it
@@pilotearesolutioner582 Or fearful avoidant attachment style (anxious-avoidant)
Really needed this rn. Thinking about it it's getting in my way of doing important things. Thank you. ♥️
When I was in group therapy, your videos helped me whenever the therapists played them. It's been almost a year since I got out of therapy, and recently had my first ever true romantic crush on somebody, who didn't feel the same way. This video helped me just as much as they used to. Thank you for being there to strangers across the internet.
Each time you think about them, just think back about when YOU were the target of unrequited love. Yes, that is how much chance you have.
You're making so many amazing videos, keep the great work up
time stamps for those who need them
0:34 Accept their feelings and the end of a possible relationship with them.
1:19 Stop daydreaming about them!
1:58 allow yourself to mourn the idea of being with them
2:43 distract yourself with passion projects and new skills
3:12 realize they aren’t as perfect as they seem
3:47 know there won’t always be closure still, keep moving forward !!
have a wonderful day/night
Thank you!
Thank you
Thanks for putting this together, and being a member of the channel. Do you have any other topics you'd like us to do next?
@@Psych2go i would love a video more focused on body dysmorphia if that’s possible!! and thank you for the constant uploads and amazing content ❤️❤️ phycology/mental health is so important and everyone should have access.
my unrequited love is still better than twilight
It’s hard to get over someone even if you were aware that they weren’t perfect because life was so much better with them at one point in the past. But again that was the past, this is now. It is not love but attachment and emotions will pass as well. Still, the pain lingers despite of knowing the fundamentals of it. Damn hormones 😢
Good topic to address. One aspect of this whole area not mentioned much is that “rejectees”, if you will, sometimes become future “rejectors”, meaning that they’ll exact revenge upon the situation by morphing into colder, quieter, more cynical people…and let the next unfortunate soul who happens to like THEM “have it”, so to speak. “If I can’t have who it is I want, no one else down the line is gonna get me either”. People will do this, should they carry the hurt long enough.
I'm so glad that this video came at the right time ,I just got my heart broken because of unrequited love. I find the video very helpful,thank you !
There is no worse pain then unrequited love
True that 💔
I hope I survive it , it's damn painful 😖
Oh unrequited love, I know you too well. My high school crush was an unrequited one. I tried getting over her in senior year, and even asked someone else out, but nothing came of that and I kind of avoided her before graduation. I regretted that a lot by summer, but I haven't seen her since. I hope I can find her one day and finally get closure, but I'm glad this video addressed that it doesn't always happen, and if it doesn't I'll have to accept it and move on.
You're not gonna get it
I see I'm not the only one on the same page as me huh?
I'm glad I can find people whom I relate to, but this is the type of pain that I wouldn't wish, not even to my worst enemy
This past week has been misery for me as I just broke up with my girlfriend after a month of unrequited dating. This video helps so much thank you
This is really helpful as I told the person I liked how I felt and they didn't reciprocate, so I've been struggling a little bit with how to move on. This has made me feel like my feelings are valid (having mourned the idea of being with them) and gives me some ideas on how to redirect my focus.
Its been months since I've been feeling blue these days, hope I can recover from this ugly feeling of being unrequited. Thanks for the video Psych2go
This is a fantastic video. Something like this should be talked about a whole ton. I've had this happen so many times.....it really sucks.
However ....being serious.
Some people need to be saved... their lives were changed thx to their bad family and environment that changed them to abandon you.......
If they were saved..... they wouldn't try to be fake. Or toxic. Etc etc
The best thing is to cut them off completely. You don't want a relationship? Then I don't want you as a friend.
My personal experience with unrequited love:
Long story short, I am confident to say I am now bilingual. ( on my way to being trilingual )
I took a language cram course with this guy from a different school and I can't tell you how much I used to constantly think about him. I used to dress like a full-on weirdo and I also didn't do well in that course. Nothing guaranteed I could talk to him or even approach him until that one faithful day, I decided to give it all I have got to study. Because I just assumed everyone loved people who perform academically well ( we were students, that's all we knew ). On the last day of the course, I caught the flu, and it was so bad I had to get rid of the idea of confessing to him on that day and rested at home, after 4 YEARS of dreaming about one single person. ( I bet the last day was super fun for them, probably no study and just celebrating )
I never got to tell him how I feel, and never got to listen to his response, which I probably would have been rejected because I still looked like a weirdo back then, but I had already become one of the front runners in the class.
Now I dress more "normal" looking and I'm kind of going through a glow-up now, based on recent comments about my looks. Still am uncomfortable when people in public look at me because my first thought is always: "Do I look weird?". But that's beside the point.
I guess my experience with unrequited love is kind of different from other people's. People experience heartbreaks and agony and such. What do I get? Semi-heartbreak, just because I thought low about myself at that time, therefore a low chance of us becoming a thing. BUT years of no longer having to take a language cram course and still score high in class. My knowledge of the language was already sustainable enough to continue to self-study. I have saved tons of money for my family and am still developing a relationship with language. Language itself is an art and I'm studying a third one!!
P/s: I'm using the language I used to suck at to tell my story. Yes, my second language is English.
@@Raina_Agarwal Yeah! I do have some experience about unrequited love after that, but this time I'm on the receiving end ( lol how time has changed! ). And yes, I am happy to see you move on from that too, self-love comes before romantic love. I said what I said🤚
It's being a hard journey, but your videos are an amazing help. Baby steps, giant destination. Thank you.
I wasted 2 years in day dreaming and creating scenarios in my head to soothe my self ......
BUT the reality is ......I didn't have the guts to process the rejection episode .........
Rough ......phase ....
I will improve ......
Idk where I went wrong to fall for this 😂 sometimes we just get confused by people.
Lol that sums it up well, I didn't even want feelings for the woman I fell for it but it happened almost by accident!
I am so glad to know that I’m not the only one who feels this pain
I went through this recently. I move forwards tho now. I should be confident and happy, and will aim to be back on my game. I have a lot to be thankful for.
Not this coming out when I need it the most
Damn you for giving such great advice lol I’ve had this problem for like 5 months now but I just don’t want to give up on the possibility
This really taught me to let go of the past. Nothing matters more then now. Now, today we heal. Holding on to the past wont allow you to grow. Love yourself ❤️🌎
My friend is straight. Definitely needed this. Thank you
OMG this is very timely so I wanna vent it out here.
As I was watching this video I'm going through of mourning of the unrequited love towards this person. All of a sudden he was engaged to our friend in our circle (which I was clueless the whole time and unfair on my part) so I'm silently suffering in pain while the rest are celebrating their milestone. I had to distance myself just to be selfish and protect myself and my peace. So I'm doing my own thing and focusing on my career and hobbies.
After some time, he reached out to me about their invitation on their wedding date and I was asked to be one of the entourage (I was in shock!), I told him I wanna think it over. I'm torn to be honest....In my honest feelings, I am very happy to be part of it but the emotional wound is still fresh so it gets in the way of accepting such role. Well, the wedding is still far off (next year) so I still have some ample time to heal. I value their friendship so much so I'm in dilemma. Please pray for me, whatever decision I'll be making.
I came from this experience with a male colleague I used to crush on, and when he rejected my advances, I was like "okay cool" because I thought I would be over it easily with the romantic attraction. But NO, I still think about that colleague months later And it's hard because we work in the same office building, have mutual friends, and we even had a heart-to-heart talk about my plan to set boundaries and not speak to him from now on so I can work on myself. Even then, I still hang on to that possiblity of still being friends with him in the future, and detaching myself from anyone associated with him. I hope this video can really help me recover from this.
Just knew that I'm in an unrequited love and this video popped out
Thank you so much this is exactly what I really need right now :(
ive been in love with my bestfriend for 4 years, and i know its unrequited because theyve made it clear that they don't feel the same way. but i feel guilty for lying that ive moved on, when in truth i still havent. and yes this sounds cringe but ive tried so many times, i even started writing down the things that i dont like about them to force myself to hate them but no surprise, i still really like them. thanks for this, psych2go. your channel has been a really good help to me everyday
Damn. It's easier being said than done. But i really needed this topic 🥺😔
It’s been over 5 years and I’m still unable to get over her. Unrequited love is painful.
It's hard to let go of something you knew might never happen.
Even though you knew it's everything you ever wanted.
I am dealing with unrequited love for past 2 years or so and this video really gave me a hope to move on and live a better life instead of thinking about her all the time ... i hope all the other guys who are dealing with unrequited love also find a way to move on :)
It's IMPORTANT that you don't EVER judge your emotions... They are ONLY feelings, and every single one of them is VALID.
Don't judge (and certainly NEVER shame) yourself for having them...
Let yourself experience them. Name them and BE SPECIFIC. Is it really anger? Irritation or frustration maybe? OR are you authentically truly MURDEROUSLY AND SADISTICALLY OUTRAGED???
Was/is it really Love? A crush... maybe LUST?
Hell... We ALL get that. We mostly get ALL of those... Being able to name and very precisely describe your emotional contexts and feelings is important in processing them. You can't very well dismiss an emotion if you don't even know what you're feeling!
...AND of course... investigate... explore. Ask all the questions. Most therapists get paid an undue amount of money for asking THE SAME "What?" "Why?" and "How?" most of the time, with the occasional "When?" and "Where?" peppered in... maybe avoiding "Who?" because that gets toxic quick, and is often practically a given throughout multiple sessions... NOT that it isn't important... of course... just that's the usual "Socratic pecking order" of the questions by volume as I've come to understand it...
SO... why not save a spot of money if you can... GO to a mirror and get out the journal... and start asking the questions... Write down any that might be pertinent, and then answer them in the journal... Keep a scratch piece of paper for your "Socratic Priorities List"... and it's okay to update or upgrade it from time to time, too... BUT it can be a useful sort of template for helping organize your thoughts and feelings...
SO if you're angry... WHY are you angry? Who or what are you angry at? and so on...
If someone makes you feel special... HOW is it special? What makes you feel that way?..
Knowledge often defeats our worst mental blocks. I've sought out research and explored for knowledge and skill to defeat Fear... as in ABSOLUTELY breath-stealing, paralyzing, mind-stopping TERROR... the cold-sweats and sick at your stomach levels of fear...
...and it worked...
BUT you can't start off with judgment about "Anger is evil." or "Love is good"... Emotions DO NOT WORK THAT WAY. They're ONLY feelings... like feeling hungry... or thirsty...
Arguably, because I got hungry and ate a cheeseburger, my hunger led to the MURDER of a cow... Does that make hunger EVIL now??? No... That would be silly. We can debate my moral platitudes for eating a dead cow later, but the hunger isn't wrong... or bad... neither is my RAGE... it's simply rage...
EVERY emotion is USEFUL... BUT YOU have to become the master of the emotion, and that's harder than just growing into it. It takes work, experience, and facing it... defining it... and then deciding when you can calm down... "What are you going to do about that?"
Then... when you resolve the "What are you going to do about that?" question... You'll find it's relatively simple to do the thing and let it go. It's not always closure. It's not always easy. It's not necessarily going to be particularly difficult... just sometimes it's complicated, and not always pleasant.
BUT it's JUST a feeling. You eat when you FEEL hungry. You drink something when you FEEL thirsty. You find extra layers of clothes or turn up the heat or get under a blanket when you FEEL cold... When something makes you FEEL afraid, you determine some method to be safer... or you go and find help for that problem. Anger can motivate you to step up and protect yourself when fear would otherwise paralyze you, but "freeze" just isn't a good answer... AND NOTHING is "wrong" with any of them. It's what WE DO that can make more right or wrong... good or bad... The choices and ACTIONS are what needs scrutinized and perhaps judged... learned from, so we can revise and refine ourselves for the future. ;o)
TALK TO ME ! AMEN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@@sinecam3606 Thanks for reading... Hope you got something out of it. ;o)
helpful comment for some time in the future probably
@@onedollasnake Thanks for reading... just hope it helps someone... ;o)
Well said and helpful!
Either the girl was telling me the truth or she was just rejecting me but in a “polite way”, essentially letting me know ahead of time that she’s gonna ghost me.
For pretty much the first time in my life, I stepped out of my comfort zone to talk to a random girl. It happened at the gym some months ago. She happened to have a PlayStation T-shirt on which really caught my attention (she told me she’s actually not a gamer). Her eyes lit up when I spoke to her & we couldn’t stop smiling. The eye contact was very strong & her smile was absolutely perfect. I sensed a major spark of attraction & it felt like I had known her for a while. So there was mutual attraction & I had that working in my favor. I got her number on the spot. We did a little bit of grocery shopping after we got done at the gym & she was down for me to walk her home just a block away. Gave her a hug & she told me to text her when I got home. Sweet! Everything started off perfectly that night but I was cautiously optimistic.
The next day, we texted for a bit (I learned her mom passed away in the Summer) & at one point, she enthusiastically scheduled plans for us the next day. So we ended up hanging out for about 3 hours. She was so sweet & wonderful, i.e. didn’t want me to be cold, held a door open for me, paid for my drink. Now at one point, after I had told her a bit about myself & after she commented on how nice the night sky looked, I put my arm around her & she asked if we could be friends. To say I was confused & bummed out is an understatement. I thought she liked me!! This soured my mood & I barely remember most of what she told me, most of which was about her issues. She really opened up to me. After I walked her home, again she told me to text her when I got back to my place.
The following day I received this: “Hey Luis I think you are a really cool person. But I’m really scared I’m gonna fall for you and I just can’t handle a close relationship right now. Please know it’s not about anything about you or something like that. You didn’t do or say anything wrong. You are pretty perfect. I just am really fragile and I need to take care of myself and I am afraid to get close to anyone. I’m going to distance myself. Please try to understand where I am coming from and don’t take it personally 💕”
In another text, she said:
“Hey Luis I felt like you were perfect on the day we went out. You didn’t do or say anything wrong or anything I didn’t like. You were great. I’m distancing myself not cause of you, but because I am not in a good place right now in my life. And I know that this is not the right season for me to be dating anyone. I can’t gamble with how I am doing emotionally, if I date someone and it falls apart that could be really dangerous for me mentally and emotionally since I am already struggling and going through a lot. That’s where I am coming from. It’s not about how I felt about you. I hope you believe me because it’s true.”
Now about a month later, I asked her if she’d be willing to meet up or at the very least talk over the phone to discuss a few things & that I’d respect her decision either way. To that, she said this:
“Hey Luis I am only replying late cause I’ve been thinking about what you said. I’m messed up and I wanna keep my distance. There’s nothing wrong with you and this is not about you I promise 💗 I didn’t want to just say nothing at all and make you feel weird for no reason.”
This was her final text to me. Over a month later, we happened to be crossing the same street at the same time. I said hi to her & she ignored me. It felt very cold & weird. I had to know why, so I texted her to find out but I never got a response.
I’ve seen her several times since but I’ve left her alone. Some people think she has a fear of intimacy/avoidant attachment style. I’ve also only seen her at the gym just a few times since all this happened some months ago. It’s as if she’s trying her best to avoid me. On one hand, I feel she may have been telling me the truth. On the other, I feel she came up with those very elaborate lies to avoid hurting my feelings but at the same time, everything she said seemed too genuine to be a lie. Whatever the case may be, this has been the most confusing experience I’ve ever had with another person & unfortunately I have not been able to get over her. I’ve been really depressed about it. The girl left such a lasting impression on my soul to say the least & I wish I wasn’t so attracted to her (she’s 5’9”, has a very feminine walk, perfect smile & stands out). This entire ordeal has really deflated me & makes me not even want to go out of my comfort zone again to talk to any other girls.
Feeling for you man 😥Thanks for sharing.
It's the choice. That's all. Cut and dried. Unfortunately.
At least you tried SO GIVE YOURSELF A BIG PAT ON THE BACK. SEVERAL PATS...OFTEN.
The answer was NO and NO is a CHOICE.
Be open to then close. It's HARD REALLY HARD ESPECIALLY if there was a unique attraction that feels extremely genuine above basic attractions.
But it's that CHOICE again...AND THE PATS ON YOUR OWN BACK THAT MUST GIVE YOU THE LOVE FOR TRYING...PUTTING YOURSELF INTO A PLACE OF BEING ALIVE AND VULNERABLE....
The old saying is REALITY AND SOBERS THE HEARTACHE UP...
" Better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all".
AND BOY IS THAT THE TRUTH. I WORKED AS A NURSE OVER MY LIFE AND IVE MET MANY PEOPLE UNMARRIED AND ALONE IN THEIR VERY SENIOR YEARS AND ON THEIR DEATH BEDS...
YOU GET TO TALK AND IVE ASKED HAVE YOU EVER HAD A PARTNER A LOVE OF YOUR LIFE ...AND MANY HAVE ANSWERED NO....THEY NEVER MET ANYONE ...SO BE LUCKLY IN LOVE EVEN IF IT ISNT RETURNED ....AS ITS AN AMAZING THING TO FEEL THAT WAY...ITS HUGE....SO better to have experienced what can be great ....than NEVER HAVE HAD THAT OPPORTUNITY however fleeting EVER.
THATS SPECIAL...!!.
AMEN!!!
Dude, in my eyes, you were confident in that situation! Please keep trying, but be careful.
Your story is disturbingly too similar to mine :(
@@titanos.k3505 How so!? Tell me what happened
We loved each other so intensely, it's hard to go from that to this. Remembering all of the things we said to each other about being each other's soulmates and all the plans that we made for the future. It's all very difficult to do, what a journey.
This helped me A lot. I kind of already knew that it was unrequited love, but this video was confirming the things to get rid of that obsession. The last part of the video really got me. Thank you Psy2go!
You are amazing :)
This actually was the best advice given to me ❤ and after watching it I feel better that I can move on from my 5 year unrequited love😊
Wow, I've been waiting for this video from a long time...
To the *worthwhile person* seeing this, Love ❤️ is the greatest. Don’t allow the past and current pains and hurts stop and define you. You’re more than a conqueror. Rise up and put yourself together. Keep pushing your future depends on it. I wish you all the best in life ❤️.
I'm going to conquer europe
I love the narrators voice and tone. It's really soothing and make the topic and feelings a lot more bearable.
Good video! Keeping a long distance is also a helpful thing, to take time to deal with the feelings left.
Love these videos and thank you 😊. I was in an 18 yr relationship with a woman and she left me for another guy. And I seem to be the bad guy because I'm upset at her. Unfortunately I still love her. I have every reason to not but I do. It hurts so much. We share a wonderful 9yr old boy. I have to see her with this guy quite a bit. This is so hard to navigate I feel so alone. I have friends but no one seems to want to hear what I'm going through. I cry myself to sleep every night. Your videos are quite comforting and I just want to thank you again. Makes me feel a little less lonely.
You are amazing :)
One year later how are you doing?
I definitely needed this haha…😢