More than ever, I am increasingly becoming more aware that my views on marriage and motherhood are heavily influenced by the world and not christ- they are self exhaulting and christ denying. The messages to young women and girls on marriage and motherhood these days are indoctrinating self-centredness and they are so convincing that it becomes difficult to see through them for the lies that they are. I really need God's grace in every aspect of this, and the thorough transformation of my mind by his Spirit.
"The messages to young women and girls on marriage and motherhood these days are indoctrinating self-centredness and they are so convincing that it becomes difficult to see through them for the lies that they are." Yep and no man should marry any of those women. At least, not until they stop believing those grave and marriage destroying lies.
It’s so hard to let go of all ambition, goals, and identity. I love my children. I want to do what’s best for them, but is it best to revolve your entire world around them? I think that will instill self-centeredness in them
@@carissaexplainsitall8481 I agree that revoling your entire world around your children will instill self-centeredness in them! It's so hard to find the balance between providing them the love they need but also train them to love others.
@@carissaexplainsitall8481 What's wrong with being self-centered when you have no kids to take care of? That's the whole point of birthcontrol. To better control procreation. Accidental parenthood can ruin your life.
As a man considering the procedure I can’t help but think if I’m wasting my time doing it trying to stop God 😆. If He wants me to have more He will make it happen without a doubt
may we always see your children as the blessing that they are and always think and feel rather than just feel our way through the many trails we must face in this life for your glory
Voddie Baucham’s Love & Marriage sermon series helped me understand that one of the purposes of marriage is to have babies (and lots of them!) I would love to have lots of babies and teach them to love the Lord.
@@AG-un1pr There is a verse that calls Satan the prince of this world. Why would you bring an innocent child anywhere near Satan's rule and his people?
I wish I’d had this mindset before I got my tubes tied. I wasn’t saved then, and thought that I’d be with my fiance’ forever. Then that relationship ended and God changed my heart…and now, years later I’m engaged to a godly man, and I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that I will never be able to bear children for him. I am still grateful because I have 3 beautiful children from before, and he has 2…so our hearts are full. God is good all the time.
I truly want to be fully obedient to scripture and have a godly mindset but I am very troubled that all arguments given by pastor John are to preserve chances of conceiving children with a future wife, other than the current one? This seems like crazy to me, who plans like that? I get that if the wife is terminally ill (what a tragic situation), wife and husband could be discussing the freedom of the husband, likely to become widow soon, to remarry. But in a general case, who plans their life after a possible remarriage? This almost seems insane to me. My wife and I did talk about what we would do if one would come to pass early, but that was more like a casual discussion and it would not occur to me to plan what I would do with a future wife if my wife died! By the way, as for myself I plan to get a vasectomy as soon as possible, not because I don't want children anymore (quite the opposite) but my wife almost could have died during her last pregnancy, and doctors are very clear that any future pregnancy (in her specific case, due to her specific condition) could be a real threat to her. Since we DO want more children, we are investigating adoption, also foster care and other facilities, because we have more love to share and want to bless children. I certainly won't risk the life of my wife by not taking permanent birth control, although (being cynical here) it would certainly play well with the idea of planning for the wife to come afterwards... gasp! No, seriously, I find it sickening to think about the next wife when I am married to my wife...
I just started listening the episode, but I wanna say I do admire your love for your wife! Too many men are much more rather having their wives to take the risk than putting it on them - as far as implementing permenant birth control. Good luck on your adoption process!
@@kittylover4974 Thank you. But in all honesty, I don't understand why you admire my love for my wife - of course, truly I love her, but it seems just... normal to not want to put her in danger, right? I mean, it just looks natural to me and I am not saying that to get any admiration, but really because I don't understand how anything other than endeavoring to preserve her life should be considered normal. To me, this is just love 101, or the abcdef of loving somebody.
@@obw1r3d Hmm, yes I get that, but due to the incongruity of the idea, I guess I would have pastorally answered "don't you worry about your next wife, but do everything you can to live happily with yours until death makes you part when both of you are very old"
After witnessing the desperation in my mother at 8 y/o, with her with 4 kids with medical issues, with at least one miscarriage? No thanks, I didn’t want to go down that path, ever, I still ended up going down that path, however, not to that extent. I’m very glad I chose to have gotten clipped. No regrets ever!
The parable of counting the costs: Some of us have counted the cost of being parents and so have decided not to. The parable of being hot or cold can also apply (a lot of lukewarm parents out there).
I think John Piper goes too far in what he says about it being normative for Christians to get married. It is true that Gen 2:18 says that it is not good for man to be alone. However, the most significant passage in the Bible on whether Christians should get married is 1 Cor 7, where Paul seems to say that, all other things being equal, it is better for Christians to remain single. In verse 7 he says: '. . . I wish that all people were as I am [unmarried].' In verses 8-9 he says: 'I say to the unmarried and to widows: It is good for them if they remain as I am [unmarried]: But if they do not have self-control, they should marry . . .' In verses 32-34 he says: 'The unmarried man is concerned about the things of the Lord - how he may please the Lord. But the married man is concerned about the things of the world - how he may please his wife - and his interests are divided.' And the rest of verse 34 and v. 35 say something very similar. Paul is very clear that it is not wrong for Christians to get married, but he does seem to have a preference for singleness where possible. He seems to see getting married primarily as a concession to poor sexual self-control (verses 2, 8-9). God's original design for human beings was that everyone would be married. But after the Fall, the cross and resurrection of Jesus, we Christians are living in a time of intense spiritual warfare. And in times of war, things that are normative in peacetime sometimes stop being normative.
Vs 6 Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. Vs7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has how own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. I've seen the argument Paul thought it were better to remain single due to the ever-present persecution of Christians. Which could be an argument still today, however, God still has his plans for our lives.
He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord.. no where in Scripture does it refer to the 'ole ball and chain' I'm just glad Yeshua can include His bride in His ministry rather than enter into it without her
@@LaniakeaLeathercrafts I have also seen the argument that Paul says what he does because of persecution. But that doesn't fully account for what he says in verses 32-24, which read as follows: 'I want you to be without concerns. An unmarried man is concerned about the things of the Lord-how he may please the Lord. But the married man is concerned about the things of the world-how he may please his wife-and his interests are divided. The unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the things of the Lord, so that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But the married woman is concerned about the things of the world-how she may please her husband.' (CSB) Paul's point in these verses would apply regardless of how severely Christians are being persecuted.
@@williamcopeland6683 It is true that Prov 18:22 says that he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord. However, there are a few points to consider here: Firstly, when we are considering any issue, the most relevant passages need to be given priority. In 1 Cor 7 Paul spends some time specifically talking about the benefits of singleness and marriage for Christians. This is by far the most important passage on this topic in the whole Bible. Secondly, Proverbs was written under Old Covenant conditions, but not everything that applied in those days still applies today under New Covenant conditions. And some things that do still apply do so in a weaker sense. Thirdly, 1 Cor 7 doesn't deny that marriage is a good thing. Paul seems to see getting married for a Christian to be a good thing but remaining single to be even better. This is the general rule before taking account of individual circumstances. After factoring in individual circumstances, I do think it is God's will for most Christians to get married. But the main reason for that is because lack of sexual self-control is so common. If you are interested, I have written an article on this topic that can be found here: maxaplin.blogspot.com/2016/10/should-single-christians-aim-to-get.html
My fear of having more kids is that they will reject the gospel and end up going to hell. I can see where this is wrong, but is this mind-set sinful? Like i am not trusting God or something. I would much rather want to adopt then to bring more kids into this world.
My thoughts exactly...I can't make sense of verses like Matthew 7:13-14. So many people I know are headed to Hell but I can't make the choice for them to choose God. But at least with them, I don't bear the guilt of their choices. But if I have the knowledge that most people are headed to Hell, I don't understand how I can deliberately have a child. I don't want them to agonize over sin and fight a battle they'll likely lose, especially as being a Christian becomes more difficult with more persecution. And even if they choose God, I don't want them to have to mourn after the souls of so many of their family and friends who choose to reject God. But I feel this is not the right mindset to have since God Himself chose to go on with his plan of creating humanity despite knowing that most will perish...still I just can't understand the logic behind that. I mean just from a statistical point...I just don't get it. I'm not suicidal but sometimes I think it would be better if I never existed at all so I don't have to try to find answers to questions that can't be answered. I wish I didn't exist to have to wonder and question the existence of God or my salvation or the salvation of others. I wish I didn't have to wonder about Hell and whether it's eternal or not. I wish I could be sure that the spiritual world is as real as the physical. If there is no God and no afterlife, I don't see the meaning or reason to do anything. If everything will just be gone one day, I can't bring myself to care about anything. I don't want to worship money or people or myself. So I hate the world and it emptiness but I'm confused by the spiritual world and all its uncertainty.
@@May-kg6wj i understand your struggle May and I have and continue to mourn over family, friends , co-workers , i mean nearly every person around me is destined for judgement. I mourn for my children and wisdom to guide them i mean they are both young under 5, but i know that a huge influence on their future belief is how i raise them now. It’s entirely dependent on God but what if I screw up majorly. I cant fathom the thought of their judgement. That being said i need to give them to God and pray for them earnestly and lean into God with all of my heart mind and strength so i can be equipped in tough situations. But anything can happen. I have a feeling youtube sermons, teachers and apologists will play a major part in keeping the next generation connected to God. I think as science progresses we can continue to be more sure of the existence of a creator. I strongly recommend the work of the Discovery Institute and Dr. Steven Meyer. I have no doubt God exists and the spiritual, my doubts come more - am I really a christian? What has helped was to hear strong teachings on assurance of salvation from paul washer and also the beatitudes series from tim conway. Now tim conway i may not agree with or like to listen to a lot but his beatitude series on RUclips gave me great assurance in my salvation. My heart goes out to you.
Are you really going to let superstitions stop you from having kids? There are way better reasons, like the growing inequality and envoiremental decay.
classic pastor john overthinking. listener should get the vasectomy. if they change their minds, adopt. if death ends the marriage and he remarries, his future wife needs to be ok with not having kids with him before the wedding takes place. not getting a vasectomy for the reason of taking a non-existent spouse's opinion in mind is wild to me
Unfortunately Pastor John has never showed up at our door to take any of my children to their doctors appointments, he has never showed up to babysit any of them and he does not pay our mortgage or buy our groceries. We will have to agree to DISAGREE on this point, but raising children costs time and money. Having a large family is not practical for me and my husband. But Pastor John can feel free to have as many children as he wants if he can afford them and is willing to take care of them. To each his own. Children are a blessing, but as for me and my house, we will continue to use responsible family planning methods as needed based on our available resources.
It is utterly insignificant what any person says from his or her own mind concerning moral and spiritual issues, though God can use people to reinforce and remind us of his truth. What does matter is what God says, and God does not promise to babysit for us either. God does not always lead us down the easy path, but that is so we can learn to trust in and rely on him at all times. He can build us, our resilience, and our relationship with him through trials and suffering and struggle, and that makes life on Earth as the Christian so much more meaningful and beautiful. Grace and peace to you, sister.
That's true... But Pastor John did say that choosing to not conceive is not a sin, nor is using contraceptives. But this decision should be made by biblical wisdoms. I think he was just pointing out that the factors this couple (who asked the question) are relying on for decision making isn't necessarily solid, as things can change - your own preference can change and future situation could change. I know of families that have 6-7 children and they don't get enough attention from their parents because the parents work their butt off to put food on the table, and none of them was able to go to college due to $. Idk, I guess from a "spiritual" perspective going to college or not shouldn't matter - only glorifying Christ matters. But I keep wondering if God really supports such irrational decision making? On one hand, I have my own expectations about what my child's life will turn out to be - not in the sense of controlling them, but in the sense of the type of things I'd love to provide, such as opportunities to learn music, sports, going to good schools, eating healthy meals, etc. But on the other hand there are Christian sisters and brothers living in poverty and still decide to give birth to children to further the kindgom of God. I know my expectations about my children is somewhat influenced by the world, but man, it's just a forever tag war.
@@kittylover4974 It is tough. But my husband comes from a large family and all of his brothers and sisters are doing well financially and spiritually. For each family it just depends on their situation. Although I have children, I personally don’t have any maternal desire for children at all. But I’m sure that If I were a woman that wanted many children, I would find ways to sacrifice to make things work for them. Such as free band practice at public school, family membership at the YMCA for sports, budget road trips, buying food in bulk at Sam’s club, spending summers at grandparents etc., picnics in the park, free public events, free days at the museum etc. I’m just not a a very motherly person, so I don’t plan on having many kids on purpose, as long as there are ways to prevent it
That has nothing to do with the subject at all. He was commanded by God to marry his dead brother's wife and give her children, but he refused and 'spilled his seed' in an act of rebellion against God. That is why God killed him.
I agree with John Piper that we are all very influenced by the cultures we live in in ways that we are not aware of. And Western culture has a lot of things badly wrong in the areas of marriage and having children. For example, it is very common for mothers in Western countries, including Christian mothers, to abandon their babies with nannies for most of the day so that they can pursue their careers. I do understand that exceptional circumstances arise when this is 'a necessary evil', such as when a father can't get a job. However, unless it is absolutely necessary, this is an appalling way to treat babies. Babies are designed by God to form a physical and emotional bond with their mothers through breastfeeding, and this is vastly more important than pursuing a career. This is one area where most cultures around the world are far superior to Western culture. They know that mothers should be with their babies!
@@AB-ew6tz I didn't say all mothers in Western countries abandon their babies for most of the day. I just said it is very common in Western countries for this to happen. If Finland is an exception, then great.
For me the answer is very simple. Anything you do that interferes with God's design and creation (and He does not tell you otherwise) is sin. It is not normal or natural for men to get a vasectomy. I find it similar to abortion where man is prohibiting creation from doing its intended purpose. Your body is a temple and you are harming and perverting the temple which is holy, especially for selfish or fleshly reasons. Unless the Holy Spirit explicitly tells you to get snipped, it would be a rebellious and sinful act to do so.
@@merrittpalmer4349 You said anything that interferes with Gods design. That's much more then our internal biology. Where in the bible does it say that a vasectomy is a sin anyway?
I personally think having kids in this world, especially in the last days is evil as hell. You cannot fully protect them from the evils of this world. Admit you're willing to gamble with your child's safety if you truly see nothing wrong with it.
I couldn't possibly disagree more with you, Mr. Alexis Randall :) but I am not bashing you, just sharing an opposite opinion. Talk about people having children during WW2, the world was a far worse place then, than now. I don't know your age but likely your parents or your grandparents were conceived during that time, or close to it. There is evil in this world but there is beauty too. Where sin is abundant, grace is over-abundant (sorry, not native English speaker, don't know the exact quote). Update: as a happy father of three, I see 3 children developing gracefully, with hurdles and joys, smiles and cries, but this is part of life. They are generally happy and the world is better with my 3 children, than without them. Think about it.
I honestly have the exact same thought as you, and yet I'm 6 weeks pregnant lol. A few months ago, idk what it was, God changed my heart and opened my eyes to see something really different, and that made me desire children. I know for a fact that it's not I who desire kid, but the Spirit of Jesus in me sending me such a desire that's is so overwhelming and unquenchable. It's really unexplainable. But I can say that I myself have struggled with the topic of suffering and evil in this world for the past 6 years. I see this world as full of evil and suffering, and the joyful and happy side of this world is so lightweighted and gone so fast. But God gradually showed me a differerent way of seeing the evil and suffering in this world. Not having children is not the solution, and running away and hiding is also not the solution. "The creation has been subjected to groaning, in the pain of childbirth, eager for the revealing of the son of God". Truly the only hope is the salvation from Jesus and how He works in and through evil in mysterious ways. You are right that it's a gamble when we bring children to the world - everyone is taking a risk in giving birth. But trusting someone or having faith in something is exactly taking a risk. My trust is in that my God is able to heal all the brokeness that my children might experience, just as He has healed all of my own brokenness. Today if I were to choose to never have gone through the suffering I did and at the same time never experiencing the healing power of Christ, VS going through the suffering from other people's sin and now experiencing the healing of Christ, I would choose the latter. Because "the present suffering isn't worthy compared to the glory that is to come". It's like paying $100 to get a free house - the $100 being my suffering and the free house being the love, joy and healing from Christ. This is not to minimize suffering - suffering is great and the size of suffering stays the same no matter what. But this is to demonstrate the much larger size of God's grace and love. The only way to see this is to trust God and walk closely with him and taste and see that the Lord is good. Many times we are so tempted to stare at the suffering and forget we have a God who is 100000000000x bigger than that. This is where we gotta walk the walk to understand.
@@kittylover4974 Agree with you, sorry that you had to endure much pain. Prepare for much joy, and also some suffering (let's face it), but overall sheer beauty and awe with your child, hoping everything goes smoothly.
“The world is rated R, and no one is checking ID’s. Do not try to make it G by imagining the shadows away. Do not try to hide your children from the world forever, but do not pretend there is no danger. Train them. Give them sharp eyes and bellies full of laughter. Make them dangerous. Make them yeast, and when they’ve grown, they will pollute the shadows.” N.D. Wilson.
"On Permanent Birth Control" Kind Sir, a great title. Thank you for videoing it. This is my take on your title...(Sorry for the VERY long "comment". But I do believe it NEEDS to be espoused)... 'circa 6,000 yrs ago; God (who IS Jesus) created Adam, then Eve; and He commanded Adam to NOT have sex ("Modesty" for the "apple on the tree"); until He told him they could do it. I believe this was a "test"; to see if they loved sex; more than their creator (Jesus). Sadly, Eve disobeyed Jesus; when satan tempted her; and then she seduced Adam to disobey Jesus too. Sad indeed. Worse: was Genesis 3:16 and 17. And those harsh "punishments" are still here; to this very day. Sad, but OH so True. Also Jesus told Adam in... Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall become one flesh (the ONLY "Institution of Marriage" there will ever be). Genesis 1:28 And Jesus blessed them, and Jesus said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply ("Pro-Create"), and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth. Notice; Jesus never told Adam (which applies to every man that would live) how many children they should have, if any ("FREE Will"). Oh indeed. Because in many cases, she and/or husband may NOT be able to bear children. OR...they might not have the wisdom to discipline their children. IE: Proverbs 22:15; 22:6;13:24; 23:13 and 14! OH indeed. Sadly, "Religious" people AND "governmental" people; have taken it upon themselves; to make laws and thesis' galore; that we should do this and that; contradicting every thing Jesus commanded. So: to "Hell" with what satan-led "religions and governments" say and do! For they have NO business; other than to command it too; to the letter!; what Jesus commanded! Whether they believe it or not! "DAMN" them! End of Story and I rest me case... ...In any case kind Sir, Please Pray OFTEN and Praise Jesus OFTEN; for He is the ONLY true "God Almighty"; there will ever have been. And may Jesus bless you and yours always. AMEN!
@@MrTHEMADGUY Thank you kind Sir for replying. "Where did I get that from?" Good question. OK... For 69 yrs of my "Born Again" Christian life; I would have said the same thing you did. And it would have gone to my grave. But when I reached 75; EVERY thing changed in my "Christian" life. So... I finally threw my self down beside my bed (which I should have done 69 yrs ago) and cried out to Jesus; "WHY are there so many different "interpretations" of the bible; all over the world. What should I believe? AMEN!" In just days, I began to "see" things I had NEVER seen before; and I "heard" things I had never heard; before; plus "planning" to go somewhere; and I go some other place. YET they were ALWAYS there! Thus, I now believe things that make sense to me; when i used to get confused reading the bible. That was 15 yrs ago. I am 90 now. And I believe (NO bragging) I could write a thesis of what it really is! I suggest you and all Christians do this... ...End of Story and thanks again dear person. May Jesus bless you and yours always.
@@MrPatdeeee OK, thanks for replying. I do agree that God through the Holy Spirit allows us to understand the Bible. And we need Him therefore. Now this being said, you haven't provided scriptural proof for what you allege. This doesn't mean you're wrong, rather it means that your proposition for understanding the "apple" is substantiated by your words and yours only in the context of this discussion. I don't mean you are wrong, I mean that it then becomes a matter of one's personal revelation vs another person's personal revelation, or thoughts, or feelings. No offense intended! Hence for my part, I am still at the same state than I was before I read your comments: I need to do my own research, guided by the Holy Spirit. Which I will do. Still, from my own experience of life with Christ I am not inclined to understand the "Apple" as a sexual relation out of the allowed context, but let the Holy Spirit guide us all. Sincerely yours
I dont want kids but also, I'm content with my single life. If I was to have children I fear I would be a single mother and who wants that? I also, naturally just don't want kids lol
@@DARKhorses73 this is the context of 1 Corinthians 7, I think. If you have no desire, then maybe you aren’t meant to be married or have children. There’s nothing wrong with that.
That is not what pastor John said. Not having children isn't a sin. Furthermore, Jesus died for our sins and there isn't a sin that he can't forgive if you come to him in faith. God bless you.
More than ever, I am increasingly becoming more aware that my views on marriage and motherhood are heavily influenced by the world and not christ- they are self exhaulting and christ denying. The messages to young women and girls on marriage and motherhood these days are indoctrinating self-centredness and they are so convincing that it becomes difficult to see through them for the lies that they are. I really need God's grace in every aspect of this, and the thorough transformation of my mind by his Spirit.
"The messages to young women and girls on marriage and motherhood these days are indoctrinating self-centredness and they are so convincing that it becomes difficult to see through them for the lies that they are."
Yep and no man should marry any of those women. At least, not until they stop believing those grave and marriage destroying lies.
It’s so hard to let go of all ambition, goals, and identity. I love my children. I want to do what’s best for them, but is it best to revolve your entire world around them? I think that will instill self-centeredness in them
@@carissaexplainsitall8481 I agree that revoling your entire world around your children will instill self-centeredness in them! It's so hard to find the balance between providing them the love they need but also train them to love others.
@@carissaexplainsitall8481 What's wrong with being self-centered when you have no kids to take care of? That's the whole point of birthcontrol. To better control procreation.
Accidental parenthood can ruin your life.
@@2ndPigeon 🤷🏻♀️ I can’t argue
Not that a vasectomy can stop God. I was conceived after my dad had a vasectomy.
As a man considering the procedure I can’t help but think if I’m wasting my time doing it trying to stop God 😆. If He wants me to have more He will make it happen without a doubt
@@jrive075 still, what if it does work? Isn't preventing a life about the same as extinguishing a life?
@@jeremiahzeiset no, it’s not the same.
How does that even work?
😂😂😂. God is awesome.
may we always see your children as the blessing that they are and always think and feel rather than just feel our way through the many trails we must face in this life for your glory
Wow... So much wisdom. Thank you Pst. John.
Voddie Baucham’s Love & Marriage sermon series helped me understand that one of the purposes of marriage is to have babies (and lots of them!) I would love to have lots of babies and teach them to love the Lord.
Why would you bring a child into Satan's world where you cannot fully protect them and not to mention, in the last days?
@@lexi1492 satans world? This is Gods world and always has been.
@@AG-un1pr There is a verse that calls Satan the prince of this world. Why would you bring an innocent child anywhere near Satan's rule and his people?
@@lexi1492 are you advocating that people shouldn’t have children because satan exists?
@@AG-un1pr Not because he simply exist but because his rules to some extent, meaning, evil is prevelant.
It may be worth taking note most vasectomies are reversible.
I wish I’d had this mindset before I got my tubes tied. I wasn’t saved then, and thought that I’d be with my fiance’ forever. Then that relationship ended and God changed my heart…and now, years later I’m engaged to a godly man, and I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that I will never be able to bear children for him.
I am still grateful because I have 3 beautiful children from before, and he has 2…so our hearts are full. God is good all the time.
Very sound advice, as usual
God bless you so much
I truly want to be fully obedient to scripture and have a godly mindset but I am very troubled that all arguments given by pastor John are to preserve chances of conceiving children with a future wife, other than the current one?
This seems like crazy to me, who plans like that? I get that if the wife is terminally ill (what a tragic situation), wife and husband could be discussing the freedom of the husband, likely to become widow soon, to remarry.
But in a general case, who plans their life after a possible remarriage? This almost seems insane to me. My wife and I did talk about what we would do if one would come to pass early, but that was more like a casual discussion and it would not occur to me to plan what I would do with a future wife if my wife died!
By the way, as for myself I plan to get a vasectomy as soon as possible, not because I don't want children anymore (quite the opposite) but my wife almost could have died during her last pregnancy, and doctors are very clear that any future pregnancy (in her specific case, due to her specific condition) could be a real threat to her. Since we DO want more children, we are investigating adoption, also foster care and other facilities, because we have more love to share and want to bless children.
I certainly won't risk the life of my wife by not taking permanent birth control, although (being cynical here) it would certainly play well with the idea of planning for the wife to come afterwards... gasp! No, seriously, I find it sickening to think about the next wife when I am married to my wife...
I just started listening the episode, but I wanna say I do admire your love for your wife! Too many men are much more rather having their wives to take the risk than putting it on them - as far as implementing permenant birth control. Good luck on your adoption process!
@@kittylover4974 Thank you. But in all honesty, I don't understand why you admire my love for my wife - of course, truly I love her, but it seems just... normal to not want to put her in danger, right?
I mean, it just looks natural to me and I am not saying that to get any admiration, but really because I don't understand how anything other than endeavoring to preserve her life should be considered normal.
To me, this is just love 101, or the abcdef of loving somebody.
I think the reason for him going there was because the person asking the question brought it up, at least that's how I understood it.
@@obw1r3d Hmm, yes I get that, but due to the incongruity of the idea, I guess I would have pastorally answered "don't you worry about your next wife, but do everything you can to live happily with yours until death makes you part when both of you are very old"
After witnessing the desperation in my mother at 8 y/o, with her with 4 kids with medical issues, with at least one miscarriage? No thanks, I didn’t want to go down that path, ever, I still ended up going down that path, however, not to that extent. I’m very glad I chose to have gotten clipped. No regrets ever!
The parable of counting the costs: Some of us have counted the cost of being parents and so have decided not to. The parable of being hot or cold can also apply (a lot of lukewarm parents out there).
Amen ✝️😇❤️
Thank you so much for this.
I think John Piper goes too far in what he says about it being normative for Christians to get married. It is true that Gen 2:18 says that it is not good for man to be alone. However, the most significant passage in the Bible on whether Christians should get married is 1 Cor 7, where Paul seems to say that, all other things being equal, it is better for Christians to remain single.
In verse 7 he says: '. . . I wish that all people were as I am [unmarried].'
In verses 8-9 he says: 'I say to the unmarried and to widows: It is good for them if they remain as I am [unmarried]: But if they do not have self-control, they should marry . . .'
In verses 32-34 he says: 'The unmarried man is concerned about the things of the Lord - how he may please the Lord. But the married man is concerned about the things of the world - how he may please his wife - and his interests are divided.'
And the rest of verse 34 and v. 35 say something very similar.
Paul is very clear that it is not wrong for Christians to get married, but he does seem to have a preference for singleness where possible. He seems to see getting married primarily as a concession to poor sexual self-control (verses 2, 8-9).
God's original design for human beings was that everyone would be married. But after the Fall, the cross and resurrection of Jesus, we Christians are living in a time of intense spiritual warfare. And in times of war, things that are normative in peacetime sometimes stop being normative.
Vs 6 Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. Vs7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has how own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.
I've seen the argument Paul thought it were better to remain single due to the ever-present persecution of Christians. Which could be an argument still today, however, God still has his plans for our lives.
He who finds a wife finds a good thing,
And obtains favor from the Lord.. no where in Scripture does it refer to the 'ole ball and chain' I'm just glad Yeshua can include His bride in His ministry rather than enter into it without her
@@LaniakeaLeathercrafts I have also seen the argument that Paul says what he does because of persecution. But that doesn't fully account for what he says in verses 32-24, which read as follows:
'I want you to be without concerns. An unmarried man is concerned about the things of the Lord-how he may please the Lord. But the married man is concerned about the things of the world-how he may please his wife-and his interests are divided. The unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the things of the Lord, so that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But the married woman is concerned about the things of the world-how she may please her husband.' (CSB)
Paul's point in these verses would apply regardless of how severely Christians are being persecuted.
@@williamcopeland6683 It is true that Prov 18:22 says that he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord.
However, there are a few points to consider here:
Firstly, when we are considering any issue, the most relevant passages need to be given priority. In 1 Cor 7 Paul spends some time specifically talking about the benefits of singleness and marriage for Christians. This is by far the most important passage on this topic in the whole Bible.
Secondly, Proverbs was written under Old Covenant conditions, but not everything that applied in those days still applies today under New Covenant conditions. And some things that do still apply do so in a weaker sense.
Thirdly, 1 Cor 7 doesn't deny that marriage is a good thing. Paul seems to see getting married for a Christian to be a good thing but remaining single to be even better. This is the general rule before taking account of individual circumstances. After factoring in individual circumstances, I do think it is God's will for most Christians to get married. But the main reason for that is because lack of sexual self-control is so common.
If you are interested, I have written an article on this topic that can be found here:
maxaplin.blogspot.com/2016/10/should-single-christians-aim-to-get.html
@@maxaplin4204 not.. thanx.. Jesus is my example and He gave Himself for a bride.. that's enough for me
amen
My fear of having more kids is that they will reject the gospel and end up going to hell. I can see where this is wrong, but is this mind-set sinful? Like i am not trusting God or something.
I would much rather want to adopt then to bring more kids into this world.
◾️ᴛʜᴀɴᴋs ғᴏʀ ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴇɴᴛɪɴɢ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴀ ɴᴏᴛᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴊᴏʜɴ ʙᴀʟʟᴀʀᴅ ʀᴇɢᴀʀᴅɪɴɢ ʙᴛᴄ/ᴇᴛʜ ɪɴᴠᴇsᴛᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴛᴇʟʟ ʜɪᴍ ɪ'ᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ᴡʜᴏ ʀᴇғᴇʀʀᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏ ʜɪᴍ
My thoughts exactly...I can't make sense of verses like Matthew 7:13-14. So many people I know are headed to Hell but I can't make the choice for them to choose God. But at least with them, I don't bear the guilt of their choices. But if I have the knowledge that most people are headed to Hell, I don't understand how I can deliberately have a child. I don't want them to agonize over sin and fight a battle they'll likely lose, especially as being a Christian becomes more difficult with more persecution. And even if they choose God, I don't want them to have to mourn after the souls of so many of their family and friends who choose to reject God. But I feel this is not the right mindset to have since God Himself chose to go on with his plan of creating humanity despite knowing that most will perish...still I just can't understand the logic behind that. I mean just from a statistical point...I just don't get it.
I'm not suicidal but sometimes I think it would be better if I never existed at all so I don't have to try to find answers to questions that can't be answered. I wish I didn't exist to have to wonder and question the existence of God or my salvation or the salvation of others. I wish I didn't have to wonder about Hell and whether it's eternal or not. I wish I could be sure that the spiritual world is as real as the physical. If there is no God and no afterlife, I don't see the meaning or reason to do anything. If everything will just be gone one day, I can't bring myself to care about anything. I don't want to worship money or people or myself. So I hate the world and it emptiness but I'm confused by the spiritual world and all its uncertainty.
@@May-kg6wj i understand your struggle May and I have and continue to mourn over family, friends , co-workers , i mean nearly every person around me is destined for judgement. I mourn for my children and wisdom to guide them i mean they are both young under 5, but i know that a huge influence on their future belief is how i raise them now. It’s entirely dependent on God but what if I screw up majorly. I cant fathom the thought of their judgement.
That being said i need to give them to God and pray for them earnestly and lean into God with all of my heart mind and strength so i can be equipped in tough situations. But anything can happen.
I have a feeling youtube sermons, teachers and apologists will play a major part in keeping the next generation connected to God. I think as science progresses we can continue to be more sure of the existence of a creator. I strongly recommend the work of the Discovery Institute and Dr. Steven Meyer.
I have no doubt God exists and the spiritual, my doubts come more - am I really a christian? What has helped was to hear strong teachings on assurance of salvation from paul washer and also the beatitudes series from tim conway. Now tim conway i may not agree with or like to listen to a lot but his beatitude series on RUclips gave me great assurance in my salvation.
My heart goes out to you.
Should I send you his email so you contact him privately?
Are you really going to let superstitions stop you from having kids?
There are way better reasons, like the growing inequality and envoiremental decay.
classic pastor john overthinking. listener should get the vasectomy. if they change their minds, adopt. if death ends the marriage and he remarries, his future wife needs to be ok with not having kids with him before the wedding takes place. not getting a vasectomy for the reason of taking a non-existent spouse's opinion in mind is wild to me
Unfortunately Pastor John has never showed up at our door to take any of my children to their doctors appointments, he has never showed up to babysit any of them and he does not pay our mortgage or buy our groceries. We will have to agree to DISAGREE on this point, but raising children costs time and money. Having a large family is not practical for me and my husband. But Pastor John can feel free to have as many children as he wants if he can afford them and is willing to take care of them. To each his own. Children are a blessing, but as for me and my house, we will continue to use responsible family planning methods as needed based on our available resources.
It is utterly insignificant what any person says from his or her own mind concerning moral and spiritual issues, though God can use people to reinforce and remind us of his truth. What does matter is what God says, and God does not promise to babysit for us either. God does not always lead us down the easy path, but that is so we can learn to trust in and rely on him at all times. He can build us, our resilience, and our relationship with him through trials and suffering and struggle, and that makes life on Earth as the Christian so much more meaningful and beautiful. Grace and peace to you, sister.
That's true... But Pastor John did say that choosing to not conceive is not a sin, nor is using contraceptives. But this decision should be made by biblical wisdoms. I think he was just pointing out that the factors this couple (who asked the question) are relying on for decision making isn't necessarily solid, as things can change - your own preference can change and future situation could change.
I know of families that have 6-7 children and they don't get enough attention from their parents because the parents work their butt off to put food on the table, and none of them was able to go to college due to $. Idk, I guess from a "spiritual" perspective going to college or not shouldn't matter - only glorifying Christ matters. But I keep wondering if God really supports such irrational decision making? On one hand, I have my own expectations about what my child's life will turn out to be - not in the sense of controlling them, but in the sense of the type of things I'd love to provide, such as opportunities to learn music, sports, going to good schools, eating healthy meals, etc. But on the other hand there are Christian sisters and brothers living in poverty and still decide to give birth to children to further the kindgom of God. I know my expectations about my children is somewhat influenced by the world, but man, it's just a forever tag war.
@@kittylover4974 It is tough. But my husband comes from a large family and all of his brothers and sisters are doing well financially and spiritually. For each family it just depends on their situation. Although I have children, I personally don’t have any maternal desire for children at all. But I’m sure that If I were a woman that wanted many children, I would find ways to sacrifice to make things work for them. Such as free band practice at public school, family membership at the YMCA for sports, budget road trips, buying food in bulk at Sam’s club, spending summers at grandparents etc., picnics in the park, free public events, free days at the museum etc. I’m just not a a very motherly person, so I don’t plan on having many kids on purpose, as long as there are ways to prevent it
What are you disagreeing on?
if the Lord wants to bring a life into eternity through us, he can take care of us too. He promises to take care of his children, does He not?
And God killed Onan for spilling his seed...
Genesis 38v9
That has nothing to do with the subject at all.
He was commanded by God to marry his dead brother's wife and give her children, but he refused and 'spilled his seed' in an act of rebellion against God. That is why God killed him.
I agree with John Piper that we are all very influenced by the cultures we live in in ways that we are not aware of. And Western culture has a lot of things badly wrong in the areas of marriage and having children.
For example, it is very common for mothers in Western countries, including Christian mothers, to abandon their babies with nannies for most of the day so that they can pursue their careers.
I do understand that exceptional circumstances arise when this is 'a necessary evil', such as when a father can't get a job. However, unless it is absolutely necessary, this is an appalling way to treat babies. Babies are designed by God to form a physical and emotional bond with their mothers through breastfeeding, and this is vastly more important than pursuing a career.
This is one area where most cultures around the world are far superior to Western culture. They know that mothers should be with their babies!
Finland is "western." Mothers get THREE YEARS of maternity leave there.
@@AB-ew6tz I didn't say all mothers in Western countries abandon their babies for most of the day. I just said it is very common in Western countries for this to happen. If Finland is an exception, then great.
For me the answer is very simple. Anything you do that interferes with God's design and creation (and He does not tell you otherwise) is sin. It is not normal or natural for men to get a vasectomy. I find it similar to abortion where man is prohibiting creation from doing its intended purpose. Your body is a temple and you are harming and perverting the temple which is holy, especially for selfish or fleshly reasons. Unless the Holy Spirit explicitly tells you to get snipped, it would be a rebellious and sinful act to do so.
Is driving a car and interference of god's design? It is man's the design after all. Making it as natural as a vasectomy.
Rather strange thing to say.
@@2ndPigeon A car has nothing to do with the internal design of humans.
Rather strange comparison to make.
@@merrittpalmer4349 You said anything that interferes with Gods design. That's much more then our internal biology.
Where in the bible does it say that a vasectomy is a sin anyway?
@@merrittpalmer4349 how far do you take that logic? do you take painkillers for something mundane like a headache?
I personally think having kids in this world, especially in the last days is evil as hell. You cannot fully protect them from the evils of this world. Admit you're willing to gamble with your child's safety if you truly see nothing wrong with it.
I couldn't possibly disagree more with you, Mr. Alexis Randall :) but I am not bashing you, just sharing an opposite opinion.
Talk about people having children during WW2, the world was a far worse place then, than now. I don't know your age but likely your parents or your grandparents were conceived during that time, or close to it.
There is evil in this world but there is beauty too. Where sin is abundant, grace is over-abundant (sorry, not native English speaker, don't know the exact quote).
Update: as a happy father of three, I see 3 children developing gracefully, with hurdles and joys, smiles and cries, but this is part of life. They are generally happy and the world is better with my 3 children, than without them. Think about it.
I honestly have the exact same thought as you, and yet I'm 6 weeks pregnant lol. A few months ago, idk what it was, God changed my heart and opened my eyes to see something really different, and that made me desire children. I know for a fact that it's not I who desire kid, but the Spirit of Jesus in me sending me such a desire that's is so overwhelming and unquenchable. It's really unexplainable. But I can say that I myself have struggled with the topic of suffering and evil in this world for the past 6 years. I see this world as full of evil and suffering, and the joyful and happy side of this world is so lightweighted and gone so fast. But God gradually showed me a differerent way of seeing the evil and suffering in this world. Not having children is not the solution, and running away and hiding is also not the solution. "The creation has been subjected to groaning, in the pain of childbirth, eager for the revealing of the son of God". Truly the only hope is the salvation from Jesus and how He works in and through evil in mysterious ways.
You are right that it's a gamble when we bring children to the world - everyone is taking a risk in giving birth. But trusting someone or having faith in something is exactly taking a risk. My trust is in that my God is able to heal all the brokeness that my children might experience, just as He has healed all of my own brokenness. Today if I were to choose to never have gone through the suffering I did and at the same time never experiencing the healing power of Christ, VS going through the suffering from other people's sin and now experiencing the healing of Christ, I would choose the latter. Because "the present suffering isn't worthy compared to the glory that is to come". It's like paying $100 to get a free house - the $100 being my suffering and the free house being the love, joy and healing from Christ. This is not to minimize suffering - suffering is great and the size of suffering stays the same no matter what. But this is to demonstrate the much larger size of God's grace and love. The only way to see this is to trust God and walk closely with him and taste and see that the Lord is good. Many times we are so tempted to stare at the suffering and forget we have a God who is 100000000000x bigger than that. This is where we gotta walk the walk to understand.
@@kittylover4974 Agree with you, sorry that you had to endure much pain. Prepare for much joy, and also some suffering (let's face it), but overall sheer beauty and awe with your child, hoping everything goes smoothly.
“The world is rated R, and no one is checking ID’s. Do not try to make it G by imagining the shadows away. Do not try to hide your children from the world forever, but do not pretend there is no danger. Train them. Give them sharp eyes and bellies full of laughter. Make them dangerous. Make them yeast, and when they’ve grown, they will pollute the shadows.” N.D. Wilson.
A 50 year old man marrying a 35 year old woman, 😂. That presents ethical questions in itself.
"On Permanent Birth Control"
Kind Sir, a great title. Thank you for videoing it. This is my take on your title...(Sorry for the VERY long "comment". But I do believe it NEEDS to be espoused)...
'circa 6,000 yrs ago; God (who IS Jesus) created Adam, then Eve; and He commanded Adam to NOT have sex ("Modesty" for the "apple on the tree"); until He told him they could do it. I believe this was a "test"; to see if they loved sex; more than their creator (Jesus). Sadly, Eve disobeyed Jesus; when satan tempted her; and then she seduced Adam to disobey Jesus too. Sad indeed.
Worse: was Genesis 3:16 and 17. And those harsh "punishments" are still here; to this very day. Sad, but OH so True. Also Jesus told Adam in...
Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall become one flesh (the ONLY "Institution of Marriage" there will ever be). Genesis 1:28 And Jesus blessed them, and Jesus said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply ("Pro-Create"), and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.
Notice; Jesus never told Adam (which applies to every man that would live) how many children they should have, if any ("FREE Will"). Oh indeed. Because in many cases, she and/or husband may NOT be able to bear children. OR...they might not have the wisdom to discipline their children. IE: Proverbs 22:15; 22:6;13:24; 23:13 and 14! OH indeed.
Sadly, "Religious" people AND "governmental" people; have taken it upon themselves; to make laws and thesis' galore; that we should do this and that; contradicting every thing Jesus commanded.
So: to "Hell" with what satan-led "religions and governments" say and do! For they have NO business; other than to command it too; to the letter!; what Jesus commanded! Whether they believe it or not! "DAMN" them!
End of Story and I rest me case...
...In any case kind Sir, Please Pray OFTEN and Praise Jesus OFTEN; for He is the ONLY true "God Almighty"; there will ever have been. And may Jesus bless you and yours always. AMEN!
I really, really don't think the "apple on the tree" refers to having sex... where do you get that from?
@@MrTHEMADGUY Thank you kind Sir for replying.
"Where did I get that from?" Good question. OK...
For 69 yrs of my "Born Again" Christian life; I would have said the same thing you did. And it would have gone to my grave. But when I reached 75; EVERY thing changed in my "Christian" life. So...
I finally threw my self down beside my bed (which I should have done 69 yrs ago) and cried out to Jesus; "WHY are there so many different "interpretations" of the bible; all over the world. What should I believe? AMEN!"
In just days, I began to "see" things I had NEVER seen before; and I "heard" things I had never heard; before; plus "planning" to go somewhere; and I go some other place. YET they were ALWAYS there!
Thus, I now believe things that make sense to me; when i used to get confused reading the bible. That was 15 yrs ago. I am 90 now. And I believe (NO bragging) I could write a thesis of what it really is!
I suggest you and all Christians do this...
...End of Story and thanks again dear person. May Jesus bless you and yours always.
@@MrTHEMADGUY I second this.
@@MrPatdeeee OK, thanks for replying. I do agree that God through the Holy Spirit allows us to understand the Bible. And we need Him therefore.
Now this being said, you haven't provided scriptural proof for what you allege. This doesn't mean you're wrong, rather it means that your proposition for understanding the "apple" is substantiated by your words and yours only in the context of this discussion.
I don't mean you are wrong, I mean that it then becomes a matter of one's personal revelation vs another person's personal revelation, or thoughts, or feelings.
No offense intended!
Hence for my part, I am still at the same state than I was before I read your comments: I need to do my own research, guided by the Holy Spirit. Which I will do.
Still, from my own experience of life with Christ I am not inclined to understand the "Apple" as a sexual relation out of the allowed context, but let the Holy Spirit guide us all.
Sincerely yours
@@CaitHoover Thank you my brother IN Jesus...
I dont want kids but also, I'm content with my single life. If I was to have children I fear I would be a single mother and who wants that? I also, naturally just don't want kids lol
◾️ᴛʜᴀɴᴋs ғᴏʀ ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴇɴᴛɪɴɢ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴀ ɴᴏᴛᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴊᴏʜɴ ʙᴀʟʟᴀʀᴅ ʀᴇɢᴀʀᴅɪɴɢ ʙᴛᴄ/ᴇᴛʜ ɪɴᴠᴇsᴛᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴛᴇʟʟ ʜɪᴍ ɪ'ᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ᴡʜᴏ ʀᴇғᴇʀʀᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏ ʜɪᴍ
Same. So we get punished for having no desire ??? That doesn't make sense to me
@@DARKhorses73 this is the context of 1 Corinthians 7, I think. If you have no desire, then maybe you aren’t meant to be married or have children. There’s nothing wrong with that.
How would you be a single mother?
@@Charles.Wright Adoption.
I'm married but have no desire for children. I married late in 40s, my husband already has two raised children. I guess I'll burn in hell???
That is not what pastor John said. Not having children isn't a sin. Furthermore, Jesus died for our sins and there isn't a sin that he can't forgive if you come to him in faith. God bless you.