i love this re-framing/clarification - i've put up with shitty relationships because i thought, they're supposed to be hard.... now i'm married to someone who actively adds love and joy to my life and is able to face the difficulties of life with me and it's nice not to suffer alone
I think there's also a scarcity mindset when it comes to queer relationships. Luckily way more people are able to be safely out now than ever before, but there's still a feeling of it being a numbers game (especially as we age). People are more likely to settle or stay in a relationship that doesn't work if they think this is the best that's out there.
i really love this episode. i think sometimes people think that if its hard and theres a rollercoaster of emotions, that it means passion. like initially in a relationship, it may feel that way, but imo the best part of a relationship is finding comfort and companionship in your person(s). you guys seem in a really healthy place, im so happy for both of you
I think an important point about incompatibility is being incompatible about things that aren't rooted in your core values so that you can compromise easily, or you don't even have to because they don't even affect each other, like pizza toppings, you can just get two different pizzas
Ooh I’d love an episode on the pre marriage counseling! My partner and I were just talking about how we’d want to do that but it’s a tad anxiety inducing
I got married last May and we went to a couples therapist with the idea of it being premarital and I don’t think our guy understood, like he just treated it like “normal” couples therapy. We went from about Dec ‘22 to well past our May wedding, around Nov ‘23 and even then he was still like “seems like we still have things to work on, but wish you luck, bye.” So my advice is consider shopping around, make sure you go in and communicate clear intentions and that the therapy is goal-oriented and intended as marriage preparation rather than therapist expecting some gray goalpost until you cut the cord. I’m not saying he wasn’t helpful or didn’t give us tools, but in retrospect seemed to have the idea that we would just see him ad infinitum and that wasn’t the intention.
My marriage feels so easy. He’s my favorite person and I always want to hang out. I do feel like it’s important have alone time, but he’s my best friend.
I agree with this video 100% I’ve been married since I was 18 (so young, I know)! We eloped and the day we got married was the most beautiful day. We chose that day forward that our relationship is the priority. Despite learned behaviors and such, we chose to work on that and we RARELY fight. Both from very toxic families and we have worked so hard to get where we are. We are best friends and have definitely chosen the mindset that we are teammates, not against one another, so that way our kid sees and learns that rather than what we did. I’ll be married 5 years and I love being married! I hope this is the new standard for us all. If you’re miserable the majority of the time, you can leave!
Re: yes you love me but do you like me I think this is the fundamental issue in conflict between couples. People just want to feel connected, they want to feel accepted and treasured, it hurts so much when it feels like they aren’t liking you. It’s the biggest rejection.
find the idea of "getting better at fighting" really comforting not to exist in song lyrics fully but the whole "trying to reduce that heart on heart crime" idea! and getting better at viewing each other in "good faith"!
Its not up to your partner to make your life interesting, you should make your own life interesting, and being partnered with someone that gives you stability to keep your life interesting is cool
I lived through the Twister marketing push -- the cool looking tornado _was_ the selling point. It is not what I like about the movie... not excited for Twisters.
I think this kinda goes with what Allison was saying about how life is hard and you face life with the person you’re married to. Having a baby is hardddd. And sleep-deprivation definitely puts those communication and conflict-resolution skills to the test 😅 But occasionally I’ll hear moms says things are easier when their partner is out of town, and that makes me sad, because I don’t think it should be that way. P.S. sending you good vibes for a good night’s sleep! My kiddo has an ear infection so i’m hoping against hope for a good night myself 😬
I’m not complaining just sharing my perspective…. I literally cannot relate to any of this video. It talks to relationships that should end because the two people are too antagonistic with each other but in my experience my relationships have largely ended because we liked each other and we loved each other but we didn’t mesh in a way that increased our happiness with each other. I’ve had to end relationships with people who I still loved deeply because they couldn’t recognize a relationship needing to end unless it was antagonistic.
![Seungmin "그렇게, 천천히, 우리(As we are)" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/kAzmhLHePqU/mqdefault.jpg)
Fully convinced that Phantom the Dog is actually just a toddler in a dog suit
The doggy cuddles in this video oh my goodness💜💜
another great video from the two most important people on the internet
i love this re-framing/clarification - i've put up with shitty relationships because i thought, they're supposed to be hard.... now i'm married to someone who actively adds love and joy to my life and is able to face the difficulties of life with me and it's nice not to suffer alone
I think there's also a scarcity mindset when it comes to queer relationships. Luckily way more people are able to be safely out now than ever before, but there's still a feeling of it being a numbers game (especially as we age). People are more likely to settle or stay in a relationship that doesn't work if they think this is the best that's out there.
i really love this episode. i think sometimes people think that if its hard and theres a rollercoaster of emotions, that it means passion.
like initially in a relationship, it may feel that way, but imo the best part of a relationship is finding comfort and companionship in your person(s).
you guys seem in a really healthy place, im so happy for both of you
I think an important point about incompatibility is being incompatible about things that aren't rooted in your core values so that you can compromise easily, or you don't even have to because they don't even affect each other, like pizza toppings, you can just get two different pizzas
Ooh I’d love an episode on the pre marriage counseling! My partner and I were just talking about how we’d want to do that but it’s a tad anxiety inducing
I got married last May and we went to a couples therapist with the idea of it being premarital and I don’t think our guy understood, like he just treated it like “normal” couples therapy. We went from about Dec ‘22 to well past our May wedding, around Nov ‘23 and even then he was still like “seems like we still have things to work on, but wish you luck, bye.” So my advice is consider shopping around, make sure you go in and communicate clear intentions and that the therapy is goal-oriented and intended as marriage preparation rather than therapist expecting some gray goalpost until you cut the cord.
I’m not saying he wasn’t helpful or didn’t give us tools, but in retrospect seemed to have the idea that we would just see him ad infinitum and that wasn’t the intention.
My marriage feels so easy. He’s my favorite person and I always want to hang out. I do feel like it’s important have alone time, but he’s my best friend.
I agree with this video 100%
I’ve been married since I was 18 (so young, I know)! We eloped and the day we got married was the most beautiful day. We chose that day forward that our relationship is the priority. Despite learned behaviors and such, we chose to work on that and we RARELY fight. Both from very toxic families and we have worked so hard to get where we are. We are best friends and have definitely chosen the mindset that we are teammates, not against one another, so that way our kid sees and learns that rather than what we did. I’ll be married 5 years and I love being married! I hope this is the new standard for us all. If you’re miserable the majority of the time, you can leave!
Re: yes you love me but do you like me
I think this is the fundamental issue in conflict between couples. People just want to feel connected, they want to feel accepted and treasured, it hurts so much when it feels like they aren’t liking you. It’s the biggest rejection.
find the idea of "getting better at fighting" really comforting not to exist in song lyrics fully but the whole "trying to reduce that heart on heart crime" idea! and getting better at viewing each other in "good faith"!
Phantom is just living his best life lolol
i would immediately adopt a flock of street pigeons
"The cool tornado wasnt the selling point" I laughed
I love Allison's new intros
Feels very TLDRI intro x hypotheticals
i love this mic situation!
Who else had to watch this twice? Once for the dog, once for the content.
What a great parks and rec reference
too many married and about-to-be-married people i know need to see this....
I would bring home fish and then she would end up having to care for them when I get bored in a week
love your outfits this episode !
8.50 Someone's running in their sleep!
shook to hear Tuscaloosa, Alabama lol
Ngl it's been so hard for me to watch your couch videos, not because of any of the topics but because of how distractingly cute Phantom is 😭💘
Highlight of my Thursday 🥳
This was great, keep it up!
it should be work, with seasons, but in general, it shouldn't feel hard
And the tornado looked super cool in 1996 standards!
Its not up to your partner to make your life interesting, you should make your own life interesting, and being partnered with someone that gives you stability to keep your life interesting is cool
Wait where’d the mini mics go
love seeing phantom 💖
phantom is the real star
doggo is so cute
Sugar need more spotlight
Phantom is so baby
I lived through the Twister marketing push -- the cool looking tornado _was_ the selling point.
It is not what I like about the movie... not excited for Twisters.
I am the only one who thinks gabe looks everyday more and more like jack antonoff? 😅
I am hearing that A LOT -g
Idk. Having a baby can make things really hard. Im hoping will get easier / better again once we are getting more sleep 🙃
I think this kinda goes with what Allison was saying about how life is hard and you face life with the person you’re married to. Having a baby is hardddd. And sleep-deprivation definitely puts those communication and conflict-resolution skills to the test 😅 But occasionally I’ll hear moms says things are easier when their partner is out of town, and that makes me sad, because I don’t think it should be that way.
P.S. sending you good vibes for a good night’s sleep! My kiddo has an ear infection so i’m hoping against hope for a good night myself 😬
Once AGAIN Phantom is stealing the show
I’m not complaining just sharing my perspective….
I literally cannot relate to any of this video. It talks to relationships that should end because the two people are too antagonistic with each other but in my experience my relationships have largely ended because we liked each other and we loved each other but we didn’t mesh in a way that increased our happiness with each other.
I’ve had to end relationships with people who I still loved deeply because they couldn’t recognize a relationship needing to end unless it was antagonistic.
This needed to be said. Thank you!!
anyone else thought it was about the board game??
also why does it look like yall recorded at diff times and spliced it together? or that allison is a ghost?? lolol
i thought it was just me! last video and this one, alison’s side of the screen seems to be kinda blurry/smoky, what is going on lol
sugarrrrrrr
Conan??
first :D
Is that podcast on palestine, promised from 3 months ago, ever coming?
seeing yall after 10 years . WTF happened