Why Some Young Adults Are Stuck in Adolescence
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- Опубликовано: 2 окт 2024
- Transitioning into adulthood has always been a trying (but ultimately rewarding) experience. But today, it's become easier for young adults to delay that transition. Find out why.
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At 22 I've graduated college and worked at a job in my field for over a year. I've worked hard, I've worked 60+ hours a week and honestly it's all just to give my money to the landlord, the government, the debt repayment, you have to have a car to get to work so now you have to pay that off. I would honestly prefer to go build a hut in the woods and eat frickin bugs at least I would have my time back, and be able to choose what I was going to do each day. The "adult world" has become increasingly more difficult, convoluted, and uninteresting. The ability to stand out and be recognized for doing well is diminished by the sheer amount of people in the workforce. Not to mention work place politics, meaning working hard and going above and beyond goes unrecognized, so why would we do extra work for no extra benefit? I recently realized that and stopped doing overtime, I have time to myself now and it's nice. What happens when you overwork a machine? It breaks down and needs repair. They repair the machines but not the employees. We weren't raised to act like numbers we were raised to be people with passions and desires and to follow those passions and desires. Sorry but this rat race just isn't desirable, and people wonder why we're so unmotivated. What part of this was ever something we wanted to put our time and effort into?
I get what you are talking about, but being an adult is about learning to enjoy the boring part,finding a way to work together with love.I I think its about striking the balance of fun and work. life is mysterious ,we have to accept it and than come out of it becoming wiser..and better...maybe!!?
you have the ideas now find the motivation and the will to act upon it
Not to mention the fact that the cost of living is so high…
Traditionally you would have worked for your husband, so you would have had actual job safety and affection. Choosing to be a slave for a corporation, means you compatmentalise your worth. So work ethic is sold to the workplace, so all you are judged by is your fertility and availability.
Sometimes it's trauma that keeps people from moving forward. They get stuck in that space at a young age and it's all they know.
For myself, it’s directly related to trauma. I went through something at the age of thirteen, told someone I was thinking of suicide, did not get help and was allowed to live that way indefinitely. Lost all my friends, couldn’t focus on school or my future, etc. I was walking and breathing but I wasn’t living. I’m an adult and in some ways (developmentally) still feel like I’m thirteen.
Same!
Pay the price to be an adult at any cost.
As a 20 year old who moved out at 19, works full time, pays my own bills and insurance, I still dont agree with the "extended adolescence" thing. Only reason I can manage to pay rent and utilities is because of roommates. It used to be possible to live off of an entry level job 40 hours a week but now it just isn't. The ones staying with their parents while going through college and saving are the smart ones, as opposed to leaving home and working 60+ hours a week to barely live.
I hope things are better for you. It’s very acceptable for a 20 year old to live with roommates.
It's not so much the trouble of growing up, but the idea of having to physically go out into the world and be expected to understand it when no one took the time to take you aside and show you a couple of things that may give you a chance out there
The Boomer that invested long term, well they don't want some young punk coming in and screwing up their life's work, so they hold off on retirement as long as they can and never give anyone a chance to get anything
So we're encouraged to waste our time, money, and life on things that might have worked 40 years ago, but don't work anymore today because too many people who are underqualified were taking up all the positions and making the company lose money and look bad
We're either told continually that we need to go to college, but we're never prepared for it, or we stay in our parents' basement because finding any sort of income has become next to impossible
Yep, yet older people continue to accuse the youth of willful immaturity
Boomers are evil
I am 17 and just graduated high school, I don't blame anyone, the adult world is laid out to us as terrifying and evil. I haven't felt this lost and scared since middle school, I honestly don't even want to go on. Nothing gets better then we die, that's it, at the very least this way I am not alone. My friends don't have time for me anymore, they aren't forced to hang around me so they don't. At least I have my family. The jobs I have had have been pretty terrible and rent and any thing to pay is so expensive that you spend all of your time giving your money to someone else. I want to be better but I am just really sad. I am in college and about to start another job. I am trying but I just can't get rid of the feeling of dread and sadness.
yeah I feel the same, I'm 21 and I graduated 3 years ago almost 4 years, I'm still trying to process the fact that I'm already a full grown adult. I have no friends anymore they all do their own thing, and seem to have forgotten about me, oh well. I think back to middle school and high school and how fun/ easy it was back then almost daily. I make just enough to pay all my bills, my only motivation to continue on is that I don't want to be homeless. You just have to find your motive, the road ahead is a difficult one but the path is always there to follow, some days are harder than others but I must try. and its ok to feel scared and sad
@@markiss69 Hey i appreciate this. i Turned 18 a month ago and after commenting the initial post had one of the worst times in my life,
but things seem to be turning around, the job i started i actually really enjoy, i’m still in school, and i plan on trying to face some of my fear head on. things will improve, sometimes you just have to make it happen
@@ginamcmanama2018 happy late birthday! and thats really good to hear 😃 whats your current job if you dont mind me asking, cause i realy want a new job im sick of my construction job.
@@markiss69 lol my job is kind of niche to say the least. i have been doing brazillian jiu jitsu for 3 years and honestly it’s the only thing i held on for in my bad time. after receiving my blue belt my coach wanted to hire me to help run the kids classes 6 days a week. it is really fun and rewarding. i reccomend if you don’t like construction to leave, find something that gives you more of a purpose, it’ll ease that anxiety
@@ginamcmanama2018 that's cool! I did brazilian jiu jitsu aswell and capoeira when i was in middle and high school since my mom is Brazilian, and yeah im thinking of working on game development or working on boats since those are the 2 things that i enjoy the most.
what's the cost? I can't pay something if I don't know what it is. I'm already thousands of dollars in debt after getting a degree, to get paid $10 and hour for a part time job and not enough years of experience to start a career. I've never once in my life met a person who is like you're describing in SCENE. The people I've known all work extremely hard, meet challenges, and work meticulously to have gotten where they are. I don't believe that adolescents are entitled, I believe that we are lied to about what life is going to be like (get a degree and you'll get a good job with benefits and a house!) when that isn't the reality of the situation. It's not that we're entitled, it's that we've been lied to and are expressing our frustration with the fact that our plans no longer work due to the crippling debt we face and the lack of well paying jobs. You say that you don't blame adolescents for their positioning and that it's cultural, but implying that we lack the characteristics to function if we find things boring, difficult or deem it 'work' implies that we're lazy and reflects more on our character than the culture around us. If you want to address culture address the expectations adolescents have for their future (due to societies influence) and how it's just not possible for many people. I understand your reasoning but I think there's a lot more at play that isn't addressed in this video
exactly the world has changed so much since this dude was our age
They are applying the logic of their world to ours but it doesn't work anymore. The times have changed and the older generation doesn't understand why we are afraid or why we are struggling. The irony is their choices have causes the world to be this way and they want to give us outdated tools to try and adapt.
if a basic house is $1.2 mill and minimum wage is $6/hr why are we debating why kids can't afford to grow up? you dont need to a ted talk to explain this shit.
What kinda basic house is $1.2 mil? Have you shopped for houses before, if you want lower prices get the hell outta LA
@@monkey_gamer9408some people can't just leave
@@chriscodling6573 how do you figure?
@@monkey_gamer9408 cheapest house in australia is 300 k most young people cant aford that
So you share a flat or apartment with friends
There were expectations, for example, the expectation that we would get our driver's license and a job at 16. Everyone signed up for driver's ed classes at school, got our permits at 15-and-a-half, and took our tests at 16 after having had driving lessons. This wasn't necessarily expected by every parent, but by society and by each other.
Provided you were reasonably physically healthy, if you still lived at home after about age 22 or 23, you were considered dependent and kind of lazy by your peers, especially if you didn't have a job. I'm not saying that was good, but kids were expected to do many more "adult" things in the past that didn't have to do with spending money on college.
I think that's why a lot of boomers and Gen X'ers assume young people are lazy: because WE were considered lazy or lacking if we hadn't done all of those things at a younger age. Even if we'd been traumatized at home and/or at school -- and there was a lot of trauma back then as well, myself included -- we were expected to just get on with things, and that was terribly, terribly wrong.
i was never an immature inexperienced person at age 21 I feel mentally ill and stayed home without getting help for years and the people I was around didn't help at all I'm 28 now got some psychiatric help and started taking medication and ive realized what the fuck happened to me no the people that I looked down on as immature or as pussies are having a better life then I and im stuck in my parent's house still trying to get out and get into something worth living and doing. and hard has never been a problem for me, im trying to get rid of that feeling where everything feels like a punishment, or im being looked down upon, I want to get this over with and get out of this hell I put myself in. ive always ignored and wondered why the hell people needed this type of help. I couldn't wrap my head around it lol until recently its amazing. -.-
Damn... I can kind of relate I'm scared of being on my own doing absolutely anything! It sucks freaking social anxiety has destroyed my mind severely that I don't know what to do I then feel humiliated and like a failure because I can't figure anything out like any sane human being...
@@Human1136 I feel you man.
@@Human1136 you'll end up doing something regardless trust me.
Because parents today are too enabling...i left school when i was 16..the next day my dad was banging on my bedroom door at 5am yelling at me "if you think you're gonna sit on your but all day and watch tv on my dime you gotta another thing coming!" He proceeded ti do this until i found a job 2weeks later. I've been paying my own way ever since ..for 34 years in fact and now my 27 yr old daughter is doing the same.
This kinda of parenting is called child abuse today but i thank my parents for giving me guidance ...who knows where i'd be if they just let me lay around home all day eating and watching tv, that would be the real child abuse...no doubt i'd be strung out on anti depressants feeling sorry for myself.
im guessing ur what 50 you no the world is a difrent place now old man laws ,housing prices , social cues have all changed causing the issues we face today geesh do u old guys realy think its fair to compare your child / young adult hood to ours? when you didnt face the same shit
@@brendonrookes1151 Yeah my daughter s doing fine great job responsible adult i didnt wrap her in cotton wool like your folks did to you.. she pays her way no anti depressants..
sounds like you need to put down the game controĺler and the snacks and maybe get a job so you can start paying you parents some rent money . theres still time your probaly like 25 26 still living under moms apron strings ..crying because nobodys calling you by the right pronouns right🤗
@@Outdoorcookwarereviews ok 1 i have dyslexia im aware my spelling sucks 2 im studying to get a job im not a "lazy what ever " 3 i dont live with my parents i moved out at like 21 and also like i said you cant compare your generation to ours and also class has alot to do with the issues if your from a poor family ur less likey to be able to network i admit iv made stupid choices but i do think your generation has set my generation up to fail im sure ur a good parent but you grew up in very difrent times btw im not from a poor family i chose to live with my dad who has less money and opertunity and that could be my mistake i dont blame all my issues on boomers but housing market laws ect are your gens fault also im old school im not a leftist but thanks for the insult
@@brendonrookes1151 Well good onya as long as your giving it a shot that counts for a lot💪✊
@@Outdoorcookwarereviews most of my age group (gen y) just want a fair go some thing we havnt been given ur gen keeps bringing up how much better you guys are but that’s becouse u guys were in a time with less legislation and the cost to income was equal housing was cheaper for my gen it feels like a kick in the teeth to have elder gen saying oh ur just not trying hard enough as it stands I owe almost 50 k in school loans
I'm 24, going on 25......I'm a fucked up 90s kid lost in timelines and the fixtures of this life......
Where Exactly Do You Feel Like You’re Lost At Lil Bro ?
Your not a 90s kid.. to be a 90s kid you need to be at least 32-39 years old lol. 31 and below are 00s kids since they continue to grow until 2010s.. even late 80s baby continue to grow in 2000 as a teen lol
I blame social media and the invention of childhood
I'm 24, stuck at home, working full time, degree, savings, good life, just can't get out there on my own, not because I don't want fully 'transition' into adulthood, but because I can't afford it. Housing is scuffed, I can't afford to live with my partner, and we certainly don't want to be in a flatting situation for the rest of our lives, struggling to pay rent... economic insecurity.
This is something I worry about for my future. I'm the kind of person who wants to do everything by myself and get my life started quick. I want to earn it. But because everything is so expensive I feel like I'm going to have no choice but to get help from my parents. My parents are down with that but I will just feel like complete spoiled failure. Like everything was handed down to me. I hate it when old people dunk on young adults for still living in their parents basements. Where I live, you can't even get a 2 bedroom apartment for $800,000, or a semi-detached house for less than 1.2 million (my parents are real estate agents so that's how I know). So many old people just don't have any sympathy for young people. They just want to sit back and make fun of them and act disappointed in them.
@@maheraahmed4210 I hear you, here in New Zealand, we pay an insane tax, earn terrible wages and houses cost more than 10x the annual average household income (average $1m + for a lunchbox)... what a time to be alive eh.
I completely agree. It’s easy to slap a label on something (ie. “extended adolescence”) but I think it would be far more productive to take circumstance into consideration. Not everyone’s life is the same and the cost of living is so high. I don’t know anyone who is easily getting by without the help of a spouse/partner, family, government, etc. Like you, I’m also stuck at home. I take care of all of my bills but can’t afford to pay rent, utilities, etc., at least not right now. I’m currently looking for a new job and have returned to school but I’m doing what I can for the time being. It sucks but we just have to stick with it. One’s living arrangements is not the measure of their adulthood/maturity. Times can change but society’s standards will stay the same - unreasonable and sometimes out of touch.
@@maheraahmed4210 Feeling like a failure for something out of your control makes no sense.
I don't know. I get some of what he's saying here. But, it's coming off as if he's attempting to fit a how young adults understand things into a previous culture's neoliberal mindset. The work one especially. Young generation now just understands why should my labor be exploited if the return is not good since I've seen what the economy did to others. It's not the job is beneath them, it's more they know the employer is just trying to make them work for not a fair amount.
I'm technically a gen Z,because i was born in 2001,but i got into medical school in the age of 17,and i've matured more in one year than in my whole adolescence,because it's an ambient that requieres you to be mature,to be resbonsible and resilient.
It's weird that i got to mature so fast,but it's worth it.
I was born in 2001 as well, and apparently we are from the same country, but the difference between me and you is that I still have the lifestyle of a 16 and I feel sad to end the adolescence and yes, I'm kinda scared of the adult world... I mean, getting old sucks
@@paulamozolli I still keep some things from my adolescece,like i'm still a fan of One Direction (yesterday was their aniversary btw), i still like rom-coms, i still like teenager things,but i'm much more mature in terms of behavior,decisions,responsability...
Are you from Brazil?
@@paulamozolli dude same I’m born in the same year in I’m currently 19 year old teenager and I’m going to turn 20 and being a young person and not knowing what to with My self but I’m in a program that teaches life skills and it’s great
Anyone who must say "I am mature" is not mature at all
2001 and medical student nd i confirm your message .. Good luck with ur studies
Well I thought this video was going to be helpful and it was not
We need to learn MODERATION
Half of the people that are 30 years old in the U.S. live currently with their parents. About the same stat before covid came along too. Social media for the most part is teen culture and anyone investing their time and energy in that is living in it
I’m a girl, I turned 17 in October, I keep wanting to wear pink dresses and clothes from the early 2000s, I don’t do it because I don’t wanna be judged and Christmas is tomorrow (technically today) and I see all my little cousins being happy and excited but I feel so depressed seeing them because I wanna be apart of that again, also I just watched the polar express and at the end it says as he grew older, he couldn’t hear the bell jingle anymore and idk why that part made me so sad, it’s like I wish Santa was real and I keep thinking childish thoughts and I keep crying about it
There's nothing wrong with wearing pink dresses and clothes from the early 2000s though you should dress how you want to and not care about how others think, don't change for other people, be who you are :)
Time goes by fast after you get to 20. Don't waste the next 3 years because they are previous years. Your next 3 years are critical because during those years, you will be given opportunities that will not be given to you when you are older than 21 years old.
@@williamlau2405 what do u mean?
@@askurgirlaboutmee I am in my 60s. I have seen how young people do not realize that their later life (30 + years of age) is somewhat dependent on the years from 17 years old to 21years old because a person is so creative, so able to learn, to achieve. Past 21 years old, the brain starts to be less flexible. So take best advantages of the years from 17 to 21 years of age.
I honestly tried to watch this but this person failed to define the line he claims people refuse to cross. So I was frustrated through much of this video. I think I'm missing a lesson here.
i remember sep 2015, i want to go back so bad i can't stress enough wish there was s time machine man
I also don't blame students from k-12 saying it's "too hard." Have u seen the stuff they make them do for homework? Some of it is ridiculous
I agree with most of the video except for SCENE. It just paints us in a bad light and isn't true for most young people. Hate it when old people try to boil down why we are struggling. They always have such stupid ideas of what young people are like, what their motivations are, and what their life has been like. No MOST kids weren't coddled just because they were a part of middle class families. Money doesn't mean no abuse. I might be wrong about this but so many of these people who say that are older white men like this dude, Bill Maher,, and Jonnathan Haidt. I feel like they don't realize that parents of different races don't coddle their kids like white parents do. Like asians, south asians, hispanics, black people, all these people's parents grew up in a culture where it's ok to abuse your kids. I've barely met any entitled spoiled kids. So idk what old people are talking about when they say we were all coddled. I sure wasn't and I've talked to A LOT of kids my age about their parents/childhood and it was NOT good. And most of these kids grew up in lower middle class to middle class families. (I'm 16 btw)
I just turned 20 2 months ago, but I just keeping on acting and behaving like a child/baby even though I graduated high school a year ago. I just feel like I just stopped myself from doing everything of what my father had taught me in order for me to learn how to be independent and act more mature. How can I do that? P.S., it's just my parents' business.
Mental strategies like "what would x do", kind of works.
Define 'adulthood.' I know of so-called professionals who earn decent money, but are incredibly emotionally stunted. On the flip side, I know of hard working people who earn way less money, but are very emotionally mature-have good values, focus on the right things etc. This idea that money alone equals adulthood undervalues so many more aspects of the self that tend to go undeveloped because society only emphasizes the dollar.
Unless it's online, it's not going to be read
It's like all those other self-help books that everyone gets just for the illusion that they are topical and knowledgeable about society structure, but don't know anything about the books that reside on their shelves of other books that also make them look good
Its more complex and un welcoming. The young world is more fun. Its not building the young but competeing against the young.
Speed slow is bad
Convenience hard is bad
Entertainment boring is bad
Nurture risk is bad
Entitlement labor is bad
What the fuck are you going on about? Trying to create the illusion that you're an intellectual by making some stupid list like that? Fuck you. Try making some sense next time.
@@MikeyPaper Did you even watch the video dude? The guy on there said these things, not Howchen. He was just listing what was said. Pay attention next time before you criticise someone like that.
I understand adolescence is easier and more carefree than adulthood but yet it’s always been that way; from caveman to now. Kids simply can’t perform like adults and can only do so thru maturation. From “boy to man” is nature calling and we have no control of it. Puberty hasn’t changed so why has adulthood? How did, independence, accountability and responsibility, become non-issues that can be put on hold, indefinitely? There’s something else going on…something much bigger.
All young adult people I want you to know that I don’t have any kids or babies because I’m Allergic to mans Semen and it burns 🥵 really bad 😢 I was in so much pain so I can’t get pregnant and I’m single too and I’m glade I’m single im single forever.
lmao, this comment sounds like it coming from another procrastinating college student. Definitely an entertaining comment, thank you! lmao
It's Soo crazy to see the shy people that was in highschool that was quiet and all that while u where the loud , high chinned walking popular person going to parties for it to be all switched .Now there having the fun going to parties and events making money in there going adult years freely while ones who did in highschool did secretive ... I'm dealing and seeing all this in my life right now. But it's all not that bad.. but learning points.that need to be addressed. And I believe that gradually it will work out for the best. I believe and hope.
i dont think your being completley honest there buddy theres alot of factors why younger generatiosn arnt geting the money you boomers screwed us and now have the cheek to point and call us lazy
Many people imagine adolescence and adulthood as two countries, and the law defines their “sovereignties” but that’s not true.
It’s better if you look at adolescence as “north” and adulthood as “south”, how northern is north and how southern is south? There is not a real border, the only true indicator is temperature. You know you reach the south when it gets hot but this varies case to case, person to person. In other words, “17” and “18” dont represent a child and an adult just like Canada and the U.S can’t accurately represent north and south.
Interesting overview.
These days it feels more like you overprepare and have $10 ready instead of $1 just in case, but when you get to the tollbooth they tell you the price went up to $30.
8 minutes wasted. What's the solution. Never mentioned in the video.
When you are repeatedly failed by all the adults in your life, of course your adolescence will be extended.
This is why I'm never having kids
This is a very short sighted veiw on the world.
My boyfriends kid has said many times that they can't do something because it's too hard.
Something as simple as literally throwing a ball back and forth and catching it on a velcro board.
It was something new so it was deemed as hard because it wasn't something they were familiar with.
I don't know how many times I've had to break this child out of the "it's too hard" cycle because it's something new.
This kid is in elementary school and finds anything that takes more than 10 seconds of effort to be impossible.....
The kid is with their mother most of the time and I can tell their mother is a horrible parent.
Start teaching them that the only things that matter are the things that are useful when the electricity fails.
Get them a job when they turn 13 they can be paper boy ect and we need more practical subjects in school metal and wood working and last no screens for anything else than school related stuff. Get them outside so they can exspirience the real world
I’m pretty sure you have to be older than 13 to get a job and I’m not sure “paper boys” are still a thing….
I don't think paper boy's gonna work lol but for real school's leaving kids hanging
this literally is the truth
well shit
I’m stuck in adolescence but at least I can completely see it other than half of the commenters on here 😅
i know im stuck but the issue isnt all on me society has a large part to play
I am stuck, but my employers are unwilling to pay above the state minimum wage but anything you would need to buy is INCREDIBLY expensive.
Some are mothers and fathers. Some are supposedly ''having a better life'' but they are stuck behind screens attacking people over and over again and SEEMS intelligent. The KEY to life is to keep your soul alive. Keep your third eye opened for what is going on around the world. The world that is all around you, your ancestors and your roots. That's the key for a soul to stay alive and pure for all of the negativity that is going on around us. We all have our own destiny. There is no one living a ''better life''.
Exactly. To be "better" is a fallacy