Feeling Heartbroken and Alone? How to Pick up the Pieces When You are Estranged: Download my FREE eBook on the topic here: morinholistictherapy.com/findjoy/
estranging myself from my family was the best choice I could ever make. I'm finally experiencing peace, which is enabling me to finally get my business ideas done! don't get me wrong it was hard at first, but the biggest lesson I learned was all these years I thought I couldn't make it without them, and I realize I'm stronger without them
I know a few moms that really changed for the better because they learned from estrangement the mistakes they made but our society does not forgive people any longer. Its sad that some moms are good moms that made bad choices and not given another chance. You miss out really.
Same here, and I agree. What I was taught about myself, and life, was the opposite of what is true. I guess that is why they have to work so hard to condition our minds-- they must overcome reality.
Family estrangement has gone on for generations - no secret-it’s a generational centuries old challenge- do your history homework especially in your family and you will find no matter how hard you try it happens to the best of us -
Great video! I wish it wasn’t such a dirty secret in society. Deciding to estrange my emotionally abusive siblings was gut wrenching, but I’m so glad I did it.
Same, I loved my parents but by the time I finished administering my father's estate, I had enough of their abuse. They're bona fide sociopaths. There's no managing this. It's about self-preservation. Wrote them out of my Will, no contact for 25 years. They say narcissists even get worse as they get older. I can only imagine all the trouble and stress I've avoided by ghosting them. In the meantime I've been married 36 years, great relationship, cool friends, outstanding recreational life. I'm sure they would denigrate and minimize all of this if I ever let them back in my life. There's just nothing you can do with people like this. You've gotta just let them go.
Agreed. That's why I have no regrets from estranging myself from my narcissistic family now that my nephew has been killed. I feel really sad that he's dead, but I don't regret staying away from my family.
Another form of cut off is one that has no warning. You naively think everything is okay and the next time you call to set up a get together you are told you are not allowed to see anyone anymore. Twenty four years later after no contact your are told you are the person who did the cut off. The person who did the cut off refuses to tell his children who are now adults that he did not do the cut off and allows them to believe you did it.
Yup, they held my father's funeral without me... while pretending to plan his funeral with me... they told everyone i hated him and opted not to attend 😮😢😳
Yup, over the past year my wife and i have experienced great loss, we lost our son at 25 weeks pregnant in feb 2023 & November 2023 my dad. My brother cut me off after i lost my son & right after my dad started having health issues. Things were kept from me or told after the fact. Even after losing our dad, my brother has not talked to me in 10 months, i got cold messages here & there from my sister in law. They are also keeping me from my young nephews that i was always involved in their lives. Since all this, no contact 😭 Its been a rough year, thanks to my mother in law for stepping in to help me with everything going on, plus she helped get my wife & i therapy after losing our son, and the therapist has helped me with my Brother cutting me out & losing my dad. Im happy i have my in-laws for support
@@jrp894 Life, which is really about relationships, is very, very strange. It is mindboggling that family would do things like you describe, but they do. I spent years thinking something must be very wrong with me or that I did something that justified their treatment. I examined myself so hard, again for years, to determine what i had done that explained a sudden cut off. I have seen so many therapists, etc. I definitely do not think I'm perfect. My family would have justified complaints about this or that thing about me. But it is patently clear to me now that my normal, nobody is perfect faults, do not in anyway justify their cut off. They were deeply unhappy about their own lives and I was their scapegoat. I love them. I wish them well. I know they are doing what they do to me because they were so hurt as children. So was i. But we are coping in different ways. I am sorry you have been subjected to abuse by the people who should love and cherish you and help you be a better person and you them. I wish you well as you move through life.
I went no contact with my family because of triangulation . Im sure my mum dnt want me around and my brothers girlfriends could do no wrong talk about try and make me jealous ,it hurt more that she talked about them a lot,go shopping ,go out etc but not with me. That part i dont miss. I couldn't go to my cousins mums funeral friday,i felt all the emotional stuff and imagined the family gathering and i wasnt there😢thanks mum. It really hurts to see other families happy,friends family ,i just wish i had not been born what a waste of my life. I have no idea what my purpose is,im 59. Im grateful to god for being there for me im blessed in many ways,but going no contact is not for the faint hearted ,if your lonely like me because you have not lived,be warned its a good idea but once your gone your gone.😢😢😢❤
There are worse things than being alone; being present at a hostile dysfunctional family function for one. All children deserve parents, all parents do not deserve children.
It's like any other break up. Let them go. They made the decision to distance themselves. Don't waste your time on some one who doesn't want you in their lives.
Its very hard to do. I have worked on myself through 12 step programs and therapy from the time that my daughter was born just to be healthier than what i was exposed to. Although I will never be perfect I am continually trying to be better. It's very hard to just let them go.
" being cut off causes me emotional harm!" The self-centered, blind position of the abuser. If you've been cut off, it's because you did harm to others. It's a taste of your own medicine. It's crazy how these people don't have any clue how they look too healthy individuals. Their mannerisms, their behaviors, their whole aesthetic.. it screams I AM MESSED UP. Sad for them. But those who walk away are out here living our best lives. With our beautiful children who will never meet the abusers. :-)
Hell Legal Fiction Natural Fact: Thank you for sharing. Being subject to an abusive parent is an element of estrangement that needs more attention. No child should ever have this happen to them. It is messed up. As you said, sometimes, the abuser has no clue that their behaviors were and are harmful. It is common for people who have little insight into their own stuff to also be in denial about how they hurt others. I appreciate you taking the time to comment.
@@youtubemariemorinestrangement Hi Morin Holistic Therapy, thanks for your reply. i didn't say the abusers don't know their behavior is harmful. i mean, most of them make sure to never ever act that way toward their bosses or very powerful persons. so they do know what they're doing. they also get mad when they find out you've been recording them, as they intended their behavior to remain secret, which indicates that they know it's a problem. i'm saying that they think their lies and false fronts are convincing to the onlooker. generally, they are not.
After 10 years of no contact with my narc mother I got a text from my sibling saying "The family has discussed me and they have decided to invite me to their mother's 80th birthday'...I did not respond or go...
This type of pop psychology causes more problems than resolve issues especially in young minds and a lot of heart ache and anxiety in children and parents.
Hi Tuesday, It is so heartbreaking and we try each day to do the best we can to cope. Be kind to yourself and be around people who love and value you. You’re not alone. Warmly, Marie
@@youtubemariemorinestrangement very hard when it’s anyone of course but , very hard when it’s your child . My son diagnosed with cancer is not talking to any of us . His brother , my other son . Just a bit . Worried sick of course of his having cancer on top of ditching his family . Thank you . I subbed and have been listening to other vids you posted .
@@tuesdaynickerson7885 Hi Tuesday: yes, it is extremely hard and for me very sad. It’s so hurtful that one of our own kids thinks it’s ok to freeze us out. It’s been very helpful to find research and journey with my clients. There are things we can do to lessen the effects so we don’t go down with ship. Please be sure to care for yourself. Warmly, Marie
My brother and his wife never reached out to me after mom died. It's been about four years. I have made attempts to reach out like calling on his birthday, wishing him merry Christmas etc.. I had to hear of a bad ski doo accident my brother had through a coworker.I couldn't believe my sister in law didn't even contact me , he could have died. My sis in law's mother died in May so I reached out to her , I took the day off to attend the funeral. I reached out to her afterwards to check in on her. Her mom had been sick a long time. I even reached out every now and then to check in on her and her mom throughout the years. She has not reciprocated since the funeral. I am hurt as not once did either of them check in with me since mom died. So last May I figured...what's the point. So now it's the end of August she posted on FB her daughter unexpectedly is expecting a baby. I told my husband bet she will contact me now. Sure enough she did via text. Said she knows we are estranged but that I am welcomed to shower. I honestly feel all she wants me for us a gift to help her daughter. I am contemplating just sending a gift. I feel used.
I’m sorry your family is treating you this way. My family is very similar, they only care about pleasing themselves and don’t know how to empathetic or caring towards your feelings. I tried and tried many years to have a relationship with my family but they never reciprocated. Finally I realized all the pain and hurt I was putting myself through was not worth it and let them go!! I have been healing ever since. Sending love to you.
Hi Matcam: I'm sorry you are going through this with your brother and sister in law. I can see your point. It must have felt awful to find out about your brother from someone at work. Is it possible that maybe your sister in law is trying to repair the relationship? What do you think?
@@youtubemariemorinestrangement no she hasn't reached out since. I got COVID and couldn't go to shower I sent shower gift with a family member. She never reached or anything.
I had something similar happen to me. It is very confusing when you have no idea why you are being treated this way. If i did something wrong, I can't fix it if I don't know what it is. My sibling reached out after 8 years of estrangement that he initiated. He reached out when his daughter had a child! He did not call me. He sent me a postcard and asked me to call him. He did not acknowledge his responsibility for the disconnect. I was very uncomfortable with what was happening and just plain afraid to trust him. I didn't want to be sucked back in. I felt awful because I love my family and wanted a relationship. But my gut said something was off. We needed to address why he cut me off. He needed to tell his now grown kids what he had done. But even then I thought he isn't regretting cutting me off. He wants something. I didn't know what. I feel like a bad person for being suspicious. But I didn't want to be someone's bean bag to toss around again.
My whole family is narcissistic. Now, one of my nephews has died and now I got to go to his funeral around all of my narcissistic family who I'm estranged from because they think I own them something. All of them always ask me for my money, and when I stopped giving it to them, they get a nasty attituded. I really don't want to be around them no longer than I have to.
I am currently estranged from my family, but just found out the only affordable apartment complex left in Brooklyn is the one my sister already lives in (and my mom visits often). This is going to be a nightmare. It's either this or be homeless 😫
I don't like being around my family because I don't want them asking me for my money. My siblings and their children all look at me like I'm a walking ATM machine. And when I ask them to please not ask me for my money, they get a nasty attitude. Other than getting what they want out of me, they have no other use for me. They only reason they want me around is to beg. I cut them off for a few years, then start back dealing with them, only to understand why I stopped dealing with them in the first place. I'm not at peace when I'm around them. I see them on facebook, but that's as far as it goes mostly. I blocked a few of my nieces and nephews. Now, one of the nephews that I didn't blocked had gotten killed and I have to go to his funeral and be around all of these toxic people for a few days. I just hope nobody ask me for my money.
I have no idea about any of this stuff. It’s been years that I started to notice that in the WhatsApp group of the family I always was ignored, they shared a lot of stuff laugh with each other ask things, and they answered each other in a matter of minutes, I thought I was part of, until I realized they never answered me, they never reacted to any of my messages. And just this year I decided to not write anything anymore. It hurts but I thought message received, you don’t want to talk with me. Then I will not try to communicate ever again.
Most of the three got the equivalent inheritance. I've been giving, yet I can't anymore. My Father left my inheritance for my catastrophic injury. They blew theirs on material items. Mine is still in the bank where my Father told me for my latter years. I'm 67. I went no contact. I tried all else.
The thing to do is to encourage unity and finding solutions, resolving issues. Enimosity should not be encouraged. Estrangement should not be encouraged. Find ways to resolve. It's not a World War situation. Even in war a peaceful solution is sought. Stop saying family should cut off. It's harmful and hurts all involved. There is never real happiness when family is estranged. All the semantics cause more confusion.
Agreed, finding ways to resolve is the optimal strategy. According to the research, there are adult children who report having tried multiple times to communicate their distress and it falls on deaf ears. In addition, they report after toiling over the idea to cut off, they find no choice because their parents will simply not hear their perspective of what has complicated and harmed the relationship. The adult child is living in distress, according to the research, and decides to cut ties as a means to get out of a situation that they feel is harmful. My question for you is, if the adult child has tried to speak with their parents and they are shut down for bringing up difficult conversations, then what? How can there be resolution unless both parties agree to work on it? In many cases, this is what adult children are dealing with.
@@youtubemariemorinestrangement what I don't agree with, is that there are extreme cases with such deep rooted, complicated issues that may have to be hashed out. Who said life is simple then again its not as complicated either. Some times people have the Don Quixote complex and go chasing after wind mills.
Can you tell me what you mean by the don Quixote complex and how this relates to having to hash thing out? Are you saying it’s idealistic to think it’s possible to resolve differences?
@@youtubemariemorinestrangement what I saying is that a lot of times it's just paranoia. This fear of things that are not happening except in their thoughts.
You cannot have an objective conversation about yhis without acknowledging and understanding narcissist abuse. However, if this is a channel for those with narcissist personality disorder to soothe themselves and justify their behaviour towards their victims. Yes, their loved ones are handy victims. Please add narcissistic abuse to the conversation - especially covert!!!
A healthy relationship is when both parties meet at middle of the rope. If you paddle constantly while the other just throws you a crumb from time to time, you’re in for major disappointment. Love, human love that is, is a myth.
I cut my father off in 2020 and my mom cut me off in 2023, I lost my beloved grandmother in 2020 and my aunt in 2021. I feel overwhelmed with grief, I dont even know how Im feeling some days. I just hope I can make it through this. it feels like as soon as covid hit, my entire life feels destroyed. Ive had lots of bad thoughts of hurting myself. Someone, anyone… please pray for me. I need it so bad.
how do you "reconcile" with someone who doesn't want it even if there was no "abuse"? How do you spend time with people you love when there is no one around you...especially during a Pandemic? Remember that not all countries are as "open" as yours. As for the commenters here, there are those who say that they've been abused but, are they or have they been? What happens when a person waits it all out but, never "estranges". Are they considered "weak"? What makes the difference and are they not showing "future generations" HOW TO ESTRANGE at the signs that the parents have expressed to them, allegedly. The comments read like a How To Novel without specifics.
Hi LouEllen, I hope I've spelled your name correctly. Thank you for commenting and adding some excellent points to the conversation. Your question " How do you reconcile with someone who doesn't want it even if there is no abuse" is an important piece of the condition. Certainly, reconciling involves the parties agreeing to a truce, if the other refuses, then of course there will be no reconciliation. Here is what I have learned from research and experience, while reconciling may not be possible now, some people soften and consider reconciling in the future. Also, wanting to reconcile and having it as an objective is for most the ultimate goal. But, what can one do while they wait? I explore this in my videos suggesting self care, being with others, and learning skills. As far as connecting during a pandemic, I agree that has made it more challenging. There have been a lot of people that used FaceTime, zoom, and keeping social distancing when in person as they sought the companionship of others. While difficult, being with people is not impossible. I so appreciate your thoughtful comments and look forward to more. Warmly, Marie
Feeling Heartbroken and Alone? How to Pick up the Pieces When You are Estranged: Download my FREE eBook on the topic here: morinholistictherapy.com/findjoy/
estranging myself from my family was the best choice I could ever make. I'm finally experiencing peace, which is enabling me to finally get my business ideas done! don't get me wrong it was hard at first, but the biggest lesson I learned was all these years I thought I couldn't make it without them, and I realize I'm stronger without them
Hi Giggles: I appreciate your response and get it. I’m glad you are able to move forward. Thanks for sharing. Warmly, Marie
I know a few moms that really changed for the better because they learned from estrangement the mistakes they made but our society does not forgive people any longer. Its sad that some moms are good moms that made bad choices and not given another chance. You miss out really.
@@patriciamcdowell9268 Usually estranged children give their parents plenty of chances.
Same here, and I agree. What I was taught about myself, and life, was the opposite of what is true. I guess that is why they have to work so hard to condition our minds-- they must overcome reality.
The same here!! 🤗🤗🤗
"Done With the Crying" is also a good book.
Family estrangement has gone on for generations - no secret-it’s a generational centuries old challenge- do your history homework especially in your family and you will find no matter how hard you try it happens to the best of us -
Great video! I wish it wasn’t such a dirty secret in society. Deciding to estrange my emotionally abusive siblings was gut wrenching, but I’m so glad I did it.
Same, I loved my parents but by the time I finished administering my father's estate, I had enough of their abuse. They're bona fide sociopaths. There's no managing this. It's about self-preservation. Wrote them out of my Will, no contact for 25 years. They say narcissists even get worse as they get older. I can only imagine all the trouble and stress I've avoided by ghosting them. In the meantime I've been married 36 years, great relationship, cool friends, outstanding recreational life. I'm sure they would denigrate and minimize all of this if I ever let them back in my life. There's just nothing you can do with people like this. You've gotta just let them go.
Rolling Stones...You can't always get what you want. You can try sometimes to get what you need. Amen.
It's uncomfortable, yet absolutely necessary in some cases.
Agreed. That's why I have no regrets from estranging myself from my narcissistic family now that my nephew has been killed. I feel really sad that he's dead, but I don't regret staying away from my family.
Another form of cut off is one that has no warning. You naively think everything is okay and the next time you call to set up a get together you are told you are not allowed to see anyone anymore. Twenty four years later after no contact your are told you are the person who did the cut off. The person who did the cut off refuses to tell his children who are now adults that he did not do the cut off and allows them to believe you did it.
Yup, they held my father's funeral without me... while pretending to plan his funeral with me... they told everyone i hated him and opted not to attend 😮😢😳
Yup, over the past year my wife and i have experienced great loss, we lost our son at 25 weeks pregnant in feb 2023 & November 2023 my dad. My brother cut me off after i lost my son & right after my dad started having health issues. Things were kept from me or told after the fact. Even after losing our dad, my brother has not talked to me in 10 months, i got cold messages here & there from my sister in law. They are also keeping me from my young nephews that i was always involved in their lives.
Since all this, no contact 😭
Its been a rough year, thanks to my mother in law for stepping in to help me with everything going on, plus she helped get my wife & i therapy after losing our son, and the therapist has helped me with my Brother cutting me out & losing my dad. Im happy i have my in-laws for support
@@jrp894 Life, which is really about relationships, is very, very strange. It is mindboggling that family would do things like you describe, but they do. I spent years thinking something must be very wrong with me or that I did something that justified their treatment. I examined myself so hard, again for years, to determine what i had done that explained a sudden cut off. I have seen so many therapists, etc. I definitely do not think I'm perfect. My family would have justified complaints about this or that thing about me. But it is patently clear to me now that my normal, nobody is perfect faults, do not in anyway justify their cut off. They were deeply unhappy about their own lives and I was their scapegoat. I love them. I wish them well. I know they are doing what they do to me because they were so hurt as children. So was i. But we are coping in different ways.
I am sorry you have been subjected to abuse by the people who should love and cherish you and help you be a better person and you them. I wish you well as you move through life.
I went no contact with my family because of triangulation . Im sure my mum dnt want me around and my brothers girlfriends could do no wrong talk about try and make me jealous ,it hurt more that she talked about them a lot,go shopping ,go out etc but not with me. That part i dont miss. I couldn't go to my cousins mums funeral friday,i felt all the emotional stuff and imagined the family gathering and i wasnt there😢thanks mum. It really hurts to see other families happy,friends family ,i just wish i had not been born what a waste of my life. I have no idea what my purpose is,im 59. Im grateful to god for being there for me im blessed in many ways,but going no contact is not for the faint hearted ,if your lonely like me because you have not lived,be warned its a good idea but once your gone your gone.😢😢😢❤
There are worse things than being alone; being present at a hostile dysfunctional family function for one. All children deserve parents, all parents do not deserve children.
Thank you. Your video helped me a lot. I pray my son comes back to me. God Bless.
Hi Sarah: thank you for writing. I pray he does also.
I hope your son comes to you. I have been praying for my daughter to come back to me.
It's like any other break up. Let them go. They made the decision to distance themselves. Don't waste your time on some one who doesn't want you in their lives.
Its very hard to do. I have worked on myself through 12 step programs and therapy from the time that my daughter was born just to be healthier than what i was exposed to. Although I will never be perfect I am continually trying to be better. It's very hard to just let them go.
@@Carla-lv9fgIt’s hard, but we either let go or get dragged.
" being cut off causes me emotional harm!"
The self-centered, blind position of the abuser. If you've been cut off, it's because you did harm to others. It's a taste of your own medicine.
It's crazy how these people don't have any clue how they look too healthy individuals. Their mannerisms, their behaviors, their whole aesthetic.. it screams I AM MESSED UP.
Sad for them. But those who walk away are out here living our best lives. With our beautiful children who will never meet the abusers. :-)
Hell Legal Fiction Natural Fact: Thank you for sharing. Being subject to an abusive parent is an element of estrangement that needs more attention. No child should ever have this happen to them. It is messed up. As you said, sometimes, the abuser has no clue that their behaviors were and are harmful. It is common for people who have little insight into their own stuff to also be in denial about how they hurt others. I appreciate you taking the time to comment.
Not always, in many cases the victim has to leave the toxic environment
@@youtubemariemorinestrangement Hi Morin Holistic Therapy, thanks for your reply.
i didn't say the abusers don't know their behavior is harmful. i mean, most of them make sure to never ever act that way toward their bosses or very powerful persons. so they do know what they're doing. they also get mad when they find out you've been recording them, as they intended their behavior to remain secret, which indicates that they know it's a problem.
i'm saying that they think their lies and false fronts are convincing to the onlooker. generally, they are not.
@@silviamantilla1303 how does your comment disagree with mine?
Wow I feel good after watching this video ❤ I can’t wait to read a book 📖
Thank you ❤
You're welcome 😊
After 10 years of no contact with my narc mother I got a text from my sibling saying "The family has discussed me and they have decided to invite me to their mother's 80th birthday'...I did not respond or go...
Hi was that a love bomb then? Ten years!!!! I bet your siblings need help supporting your mum maybe. I hope it didn't set you back at all. ❤
That's too bad for you
Good for you 💯😊
My friends are my neo family. Hallelujah.
Hope your friends r there for the long term buddy
This type of pop psychology causes more problems than resolve issues especially in young minds and a lot of heart ache and anxiety in children and parents.
Thank you very much . This is very heartbreaking for me .
Hi Tuesday,
It is so heartbreaking and we try each day to do the best we can to cope. Be kind to yourself and be around people who love and value you.
You’re not alone. Warmly, Marie
@@youtubemariemorinestrangement very hard when it’s anyone of course but , very hard when it’s your child . My son diagnosed with cancer is not talking to any of us . His brother , my other son . Just a bit . Worried sick of course of his having cancer on top of ditching his family . Thank you . I subbed and have been listening to other vids you posted .
@@tuesdaynickerson7885 Hi Tuesday: yes, it is extremely hard and for me very sad. It’s so hurtful that one of our own kids thinks it’s ok to freeze us out. It’s been very helpful to find research and journey with my clients. There are things we can do to lessen the effects so we don’t go down with ship. Please be sure to care for yourself. Warmly, Marie
My brother and his wife never reached out to me after mom died. It's been about four years. I have made attempts to reach out like calling on his birthday, wishing him merry Christmas etc.. I had to hear of a bad ski doo accident my brother had through a coworker.I couldn't believe my sister in law didn't even contact me , he could have died. My sis in law's mother died in May so I reached out to her , I took the day off to attend the funeral. I reached out to her afterwards to check in on her. Her mom had been sick a long time. I even reached out every now and then to check in on her and her mom throughout the years. She has not reciprocated since the funeral. I am hurt as not once did either of them check in with me since mom died. So last May I figured...what's the point. So now it's the end of August she posted on FB her daughter unexpectedly is expecting a baby. I told my husband bet she will contact me now. Sure enough she did via text. Said she knows we are estranged but that I am welcomed to shower. I honestly feel all she wants me for us a gift to help her daughter. I am contemplating just sending a gift. I feel used.
I’m sorry your family is treating you this way. My family is very similar, they only care about pleasing themselves and don’t know how to empathetic or caring towards your feelings. I tried and tried many years to have a relationship with my family but they never reciprocated. Finally I realized all the pain and hurt I was putting myself through was not worth it and let them go!! I have been healing ever since. Sending love to you.
Hi Matcam: I'm sorry you are going through this with your brother and sister in law. I can see your point. It must have felt awful to find out about your brother from someone at work.
Is it possible that maybe your sister in law is trying to repair the relationship? What do you think?
@@youtubemariemorinestrangement no she hasn't reached out since. I got COVID and couldn't go to shower I sent shower gift with a family member. She never reached or anything.
I had something similar happen to me. It is very confusing when you have no idea why you are being treated this way. If i did something wrong, I can't fix it if I don't know what it is.
My sibling reached out after 8 years of estrangement that he initiated. He reached out when his daughter had a child! He did not call me. He sent me a postcard and asked me to call him. He did not acknowledge his responsibility for the disconnect. I was very uncomfortable with what was happening and just plain afraid to trust him. I didn't want to be sucked back in. I felt awful because I love my family and wanted a relationship. But my gut said something was off. We needed to address why he cut me off. He needed to tell his now grown kids what he had done. But even then I thought he isn't regretting cutting me off. He wants something. I didn't know what. I feel like a bad person for being suspicious. But I didn't want to be someone's bean bag to toss around again.
Why would you send ANYTHING to a user like this person
You cant go back to a narcissistic family nor should you want to ✌️❣️⭐️🙏
My whole family is narcissistic. Now, one of my nephews has died and now I got to go to his funeral around all of my narcissistic family who I'm estranged from because they think I own them something. All of them always ask me for my money, and when I stopped giving it to them, they get a nasty attituded. I really don't want to be around them no longer than I have to.
I am currently estranged from my family, but just found out the only affordable apartment complex left in Brooklyn is the one my sister already lives in (and my mom visits often). This is going to be a nightmare. It's either this or be homeless 😫
It’s true- I have had that thought and feeling of what is wrong with me?
New Subscriber, Thank you for your channel and providing resources and tools to cope with during this difficult time.
HI Tracy: Thank you for writing, I hope the videos and blog will help you during this difficult time. Warmly, Marie
Your opening sentence. I pray. ❤
I’m glad she said this too.
I don't like being around my family because I don't want them asking me for my money. My siblings and their children all look at me like I'm a walking ATM machine. And when I ask them to please not ask me for my money, they get a nasty attitude. Other than getting what they want out of me, they have no other use for me. They only reason they want me around is to beg. I cut them off for a few years, then start back dealing with them, only to understand why I stopped dealing with them in the first place. I'm not at peace when I'm around them. I see them on facebook, but that's as far as it goes mostly. I blocked a few of my nieces and nephews. Now, one of the nephews that I didn't blocked had gotten killed and I have to go to his funeral and be around all of these toxic people for a few days. I just hope nobody ask me for my money.
I have no idea about any of this stuff. It’s been years that I started to notice that in the WhatsApp group of the family I always was ignored, they shared a lot of stuff laugh with each other ask things, and they answered each other in a matter of minutes, I thought I was part of, until I realized they never answered me, they never reacted to any of my messages. And just this year I decided to not write anything anymore. It hurts but I thought message received, you don’t want to talk with me. Then I will not try to communicate ever again.
Most of the three got the equivalent inheritance. I've been giving, yet I can't anymore. My Father left my inheritance for my catastrophic injury. They blew theirs on material items. Mine is still in the bank where my Father told me for my latter years. I'm 67. I went no contact. I tried all else.
The thing to do is to encourage unity and finding solutions, resolving issues.
Enimosity should not be encouraged.
Estrangement should not be encouraged.
Find ways to resolve. It's not a World War situation.
Even in war a peaceful solution is sought.
Stop saying family should cut off. It's harmful and hurts all involved. There is never real happiness when family is estranged.
All the semantics cause more confusion.
Agreed, finding ways to resolve is the optimal strategy. According to the research, there are adult children who report having tried multiple times to communicate their distress and it falls on deaf ears. In addition, they report after toiling over the idea to cut off, they find no choice because their parents will simply not hear their perspective of what has complicated and harmed the relationship. The adult child is living in distress, according to the research, and decides to cut ties as a means to get out of a situation that they feel is harmful. My question for you is, if the adult child has tried to speak with their parents and they are shut down for bringing up difficult conversations, then what? How can there be resolution unless both parties agree to work on it?
In many cases, this is what adult children are dealing with.
@@youtubemariemorinestrangement what I don't agree with, is that there are extreme cases with such deep rooted, complicated issues that may have to be hashed out. Who said life is simple then again its not as complicated either. Some times people have the Don Quixote complex and go chasing after wind mills.
Can you tell me what you mean by the don Quixote complex and how this relates to having to hash thing out?
Are you saying it’s idealistic to think it’s possible to resolve differences?
@@youtubemariemorinestrangement what I saying is that a lot of times it's just paranoia. This fear of things that are not happening except in their thoughts.
Really good !! TY :)
No contact it's hard
Very brutal.
Dr. Ramani.
You cannot have an objective conversation about yhis without acknowledging and understanding narcissist abuse. However, if this is a channel for those with narcissist personality disorder to soothe themselves and justify their behaviour towards their victims. Yes, their loved ones are handy victims.
Please add narcissistic abuse to the conversation - especially covert!!!
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A healthy relationship is when both parties meet at middle of the rope. If you paddle constantly while the other just throws you a crumb from time to time, you’re in for major disappointment. Love, human love that is, is a myth.
What could be a version of praying that doesn't involve believing in the supernatural? Asking for a friend 👀😆
Great video, very toxic comments... wow.... 😢
I thought the comments were honest. Each person's experience. That is NOT "toxic".
They always come back. No contact.
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I cut my father off in 2020 and my mom cut me off in 2023, I lost my beloved grandmother in 2020 and my aunt in 2021. I feel overwhelmed with grief, I dont even know how Im feeling some days. I just hope I can make it through this. it feels like as soon as covid hit, my entire life feels destroyed. Ive had lots of bad thoughts of hurting myself. Someone, anyone… please pray for me. I need it so bad.
I prayed for you. Please don’t harm yourself. You are needed.
how do you "reconcile" with someone who doesn't want it even if there was no "abuse"? How do you spend time with people you love when there is no one around you...especially during a Pandemic? Remember that not all countries are as "open" as yours.
As for the commenters here, there are those who say that they've been abused but, are they or have they been? What happens when a person waits it all out but, never "estranges". Are they considered "weak"? What makes the difference and are they not showing "future generations" HOW TO ESTRANGE at the signs that the parents have expressed to them, allegedly. The comments read like a How To Novel without specifics.
Hi LouEllen, I hope I've spelled your name correctly. Thank you for commenting and adding some excellent points to the conversation. Your question " How do you reconcile with someone who doesn't want it even if there is no abuse" is an important piece of the condition. Certainly, reconciling involves the parties agreeing to a truce, if the other refuses, then of course there will be no reconciliation. Here is what I have learned from research and experience, while reconciling may not be possible now, some people soften and consider reconciling in the future. Also, wanting to reconcile and having it as an objective is for most the ultimate goal. But, what can one do while they wait? I explore this in my videos suggesting self care, being with others, and learning skills. As far as connecting during a pandemic, I agree that has made it more challenging. There have been a lot of people that used FaceTime, zoom, and keeping social distancing when in person as they sought the companionship of others. While difficult, being with people is not impossible. I so appreciate your thoughtful comments and look forward to more. Warmly, Marie
Why the whispering talk I can't HEAR YOU 😮.. communication is key it sounds fonny and fake.