@@DeigoBrandoOffical basically, your body needs fat to protect organs. One of the things fat protects organs from is the cold. The more fat there is, the more cozy your body is in colder temps and the more easily it can maintain a regular temp. When you starve yourself, your body isn’t getting enough energy so it steals your fat and makes it energy, hence how people lose weight. I’d like to point out EVERYONE has stored, healthy fat. So this is a bad thing when you lose it. That’s why you get cold in warm rooms. No fat, your body struggles to keep you cozy and warm- especially when it’s not used to being that way. :D hope this helped!
@@starwberriez Don't let these people manipulate you into thinking there's something wrong with you. If you don't want to eat the food you're eating by FORCE (which means your forcing yourself to eat), then don't eat. The term "anorexic" is thrown around to people who aren't even unhealthy and are perfectly fine. I know how you feel and you should not feel ashamed for not wanting to eat as much like these other people say so.
I want to cry so bad. But I can’t and it hurts just sitting there feeling the pain inside my chest as I want something to come out and no one knows what I’m going through.
Also when you stay just thin enough so you don't end up in hospital people don't believe you because "you can eat" meaning you were "just asking for attention"
@@Alex-qg3zzThe irony of this thought that you have to be underweight to have ed is that statistically its actually not truth lol, if you Google it, less than 6% of people who have Eds are actually underweight and it's actually not really difficult to understand why. But yeah, this part of people not believing in you because you are not "thin enough" sucks, I had an online friend who was skinny sucker and was really fatphobic. When I told him about the ed I had at 13-14 he didn't believe me because I told him that my lowest was 50kg, this little demon even told me when I told him everything I did to look slimmer "Well as we can see, it didn't work out lmao" which made me wanna honestly cry because I suffered from several years of low self esteem because of that and someone who never saw my journey, never saw me on those years, doesn't know anything about me, doesn't know what I went through, my health historic, and then he feels entitled saying that I was lying? Like, why would the hell would I lie about this? What I gain from lying to you? Do you think you are some special star that I have to justify myself? Bitch, you aren't special. What do you think you are? You don't even know me, why the hell I would lie to you? I would gain absolutely nothing, if I was lying to the internet at the very least I would have gained money, but for an anonymous user who I don't even know the fucking face? And if I was lying, wouldn't I say an actual underweight weight? Oh my fucking goodness, I hate how people are so used to the fat = lazy that they believe I haven't ever done anything for my health or to look thiner, even at the time that I was a completely slob I made an effort with trying to eat healthy, I even complained to my grandma many times ti stop putting certain things on my meals so I get healthier, i told her many times to stop making thing to lunch that I considered unhealthy, I stop eating sausages at a long time, I ate fruits and everything. And no, I don't wanna a gift because of that, but hell, someone who never spoke to me before and doesn't know how my life is and what I do nor what I eat on a daily basis nor if I eat health feels entitled to shame me and just put the tittle "unhealthy" when he doesn't even know what I eat just makes my blood boil.
@@Molunu wtf, your "friend" is the worst, there is no exact weight to say someone has or not an ed, you have to take into account so many things the weight doesn't even matter, I really hope you are doing better because I went through some of this shit and others but I honestly don't wish this to anyone. People are so entitled to know what an ed is when they only know the movies way to picture it which is far from the reality for most of it
I was big already and even in the worst of my Ed I lost next to nothing, they just saw that I was exercising and assumed I was healthier, I hated it so much, I hated that I wasn’t losing the weight, I’d go days without eating and walk nine miles a day but it never made a difference, it just made me feel terrible and I hated it so much
Im anorexic and this is the first day in a year that I havent counted calories :) edit: well, its been a while, and let me tell you its felt like it too. ive been through a lot since leaving this comment. firstly, i relapsed, bad. but after a couple months of it i started accepting help, and even asking for it. i looked for eating disorder resources, and, now, im recovered. fully. it feels weird to be talking about it but its not bad. i hope someone can be helped with this. Also i tried to like all your replies but i cant scroll through all of them thank you so much though i appreciate all your love and support !! i am a boy as well however that doesnt change my appreciation for replies calling me girl etc :3 i hope you all have a great day and a greater life
i remember once when i had to go out for dinner with my family, i couldnt find anything to wear. i had tried multiple outfits on, but i felt insecure and didnt feel 'pretty' in any of them. my mom came into my room, upset ab why i was taking so long getting ready. i told her 'i dont have anything to wear, nothing looks good on me'. she then told me 'you ARE fat, you cant change that. you're obese and you've reached the point where even the prettiest clothes cant look good on you'. she made me go out in that outfit. mind you i was 12 then. now she has the audacity to complain ab how i dont eat enough and that its not normal for a girl my age to lose so much weight.. SHE WAS THE ONE WHO TOLD ME TO EAT LESS AND TO WATCH MY FCKING WEIGHT!!!
Same, except I am trying to eat normally, tho my urge was to starve myself so they would at the very least say "sorry" to what they did to me and get worried about me. But either way, Don't fuck your health up due to your mom, try to be kinder with yourself, she may not have been kinder to you, but if no one is going to be kind with you you gotta be kinder with yourself. Don't drain your mental health because of her, maybe you should try to consume body positive content? Or talk to someone.
I hate being inside a body in general, i feel so heavy and tired and fat and weak and empty, I just want to feel light and normal and healthy and energetic and strong
This is what I feel like, like I’m not living and it’s so annoying I don’t want to die I just don’t wanna live like this. I wanna fix myself but I can’t
hits hard when it comes to hair ties on wrist and gum and water 24/7 then it switches to feeling full after every meal yet still seeking more food cravings are taking over my mind then guilt hurting myself
I never chewed gum to feel full, I would just eat plain unseasoned unsalted baked potatoes to make me feel full but not eat many calories, I slowly decreased the amount of potatoes I’d eat over time and drink diet drinks and water, I cut my feet and then walk nine miles a day so the wounds wouldn’t heal, if I bled through my shoes I’d tell people I just stepped in some glass, eventually I’d go a day or two between meals, I just wanted to die, I didn’t want to live anymore, I broke down completely until there was nothing left of me before I ever tried to get better
i once had a nightmare about my gum actually being 20 calories instead of 5 a stick. i was genuinely scared when i woke up and went to check my gum’s nutritional details. lord save us all
I tend to skip a lot of meals, my parents used to call me chubby when I was younger, it was always a joke, but as I got older I didn’t like it and it made myself feel like I was doing something wrong, so I started skipping meals and now I really thin, and I can’t put on any more weight, and my friends are all worried about me because I skip meals everyday and I’m so thin now, but now I regret it because I don’t like people being worried about me and I never feel good anymore
my science teacher told me that if a human or animal doesn’t eat at all for weeks then the digestive system might start breaking. There will be holes in the the stomach for example. If you eat large meals immediately after then you will just die faster. You can recover by eating liquids then moving onto bigger and bigger meals. DONT WORRY I GET TREATED THE SAME LIKE EXACTLY-
People often give comments about people without realising how hurtful it might be. I hope you get better soon, just don’t give up and I promise you it will get better. It might take some time but I swear it’s worth it. Remember to take care of yourself and not to blame yourself because it’s not your fault. Ily.💜
TW: ED VENT It's been five years, five fucking years that i'm loosing from my life, my youth. It started when i was 12, and it all started with just one phrase i heard from someone really, really important. "you're fat". Ever since i felt so insecure. When i was young, i never cared about what i ate, what i didn't, what i wore, what i didn't. This one phrase changed absolutely everything. I started hating myself and still do till this day. I was big, and small, and big and small again and then smaller, and smaller. I was more cautious about what i ate and how much. And then everyone kept noticin so i continued, so proud of myself. The worst and scariest part is that i can't even remember what happend 5 and 4 years ago. All i remember is just numbers. I'm not even eating food if i do eat something. I'm just eating numbers, constantly counting them, keeping them in my head and the calorie calculator never stops. I can't focus on anything, all i think about is food. What i ate, what i'm going to eat, how am i going to hide food in my room, what excuse i'm gonna use not to eat- i'm so so scared of food. I want to be healthy, i hate anorexia, i hate my eating disorders, i hate it so much it makes me want to cry and scream and yell.
Hey. I can't begin to describe the feeling I get when I read this it makes me want to cry. I know that " I'm so sorry" won't do shit but I am. I know how hard it might be to get help. But if u haven't u need to. It could help. I hope I does. I'm sorry I know this is non of my business. And I'm sorry if I overstepped I didn't mean to. Btw I'm 14 if I said anything wrong pls correct me I'm so sorry is I did. I truly hope u have a good day but I know it will be hard. Or it's not likely.
Hey! You are an amazing person. I wish you all the best, take care. Please ask for help, open up to someone. I know it's so hard to do, but I know you can. I love you, stay safe ❤️
I know this wont do much, but i rlly hope ur doing better, if u are keep the great work up, if u arent, its ok, completely. I believe in you, you can do it. I just know it.
I don’t completely understand, but I starve myself a LOT haha.. I would get bullied for being fat, and my dad pointed it out once, which made my self esteem slide lower and lower at the age of 7, where pretty much everything in my life had gone out of my control, lol There was nothing I could do, but control what I could, which was my weight, and my grades. I eat a single meal a day, if even that in fear that I’ll just gain back the weight I’ve been trying to get rid of. I take all my classes from 10 am to a little past 6pm, I try to do better, but looking in the mirror just haunts me every time. I can’t remember the last time I wore figure-hugging clothing without wanting to change into something bigger because I can actually feel my body and see my unwanted figure in the mirror. There are a lot of days where I avoid eating all together and just drink water to make myself feel better about my stupid insecurities. I may not understand 100%, but I know how you feel at least… I’m tired of feeling scared what to eat, or what’s in the food that might make me gain weight, or lying to my mom that I already ate, or thinking of new excuses to tell her why I haven’t ate. For me, it always feels like if I don’t watch what I eat, keep track of what I eat, or even measure my waist every night, then I’ll go back to square one. That chubby, fat, disgusting little kid that no one wants to hang out with. I started at the same age you did, ironically, and everyone started noticing, saying: “Wow, you’re so skinny!” And I was proud of myself for once in my life. I started eating less and less and less and now I’m just sick of it. I don’t feel hungry anymore, I don’t have a lot of cravings for food, and I’m not excited anymore when my mom makes my favorite food. It just looks like more weight for me to gain for the sacrifice of satisfying my tastebuds. I hope we get out of this together. I’m wasting my teenage years worrying about everything. This is supposedly supposed to be the best times of my life, but I’m having the worst time of my life starving myself and not seeing a reason to get out of bed every morning except for going to class. If time heals all wounds, then I really, really hope that it heals ours with the right medicine. Sorry for the vent, haha..
@@roachytoes yeah, insecurities and stuff like that can happen so young, sorta sucks that lots of people think others a dramatic for having insecurities. i love your pfp by the way ash! its non binary flag right?
a lot of the songs i can relate to. especially the speech in the beginning. " fat is the first word kids would use to describe, but i didn't take offence, untill i found out i was supposed to." AAAH it hurts how accurate that is. it hit right at home for me..
Same, once my father literally pointed to an obese man and said "Gisele, you are going to look like him if you don't stop eating", the event didnt bother me at the time, but thinking about It now, thats messed up.
As a person who hates their body I can actually agree with all these words that are being told to me. I'm becoming insecure and wanting to end my life line right here and now.
My sister has anorexia, and my entire life I had always been really skinny. As I got to the age of 12 however my parents would get mad at me for not finishing a meals and constantly telling me I need to eat more or else I’m going to be sick like her. This scared me, I tried eating more but my body couldn’t handle it and I’d end up puking it all out, I stayed the same weight for such a long time in this endless cycle always known as the “skinny girl” and always scolded by my parents that I need to eat more and was even told jokingly that I’d need surgery cause my butt wasn’t big enough or just overall comments that I was too skinny and “needed some meat on my bones”. This made me incredibly insecure and now I had gotten to where when I gain a little bit of weight I’d be overjoyed but then now, they say things like, “you eat too often” and “oh you’re definitely going to be fat when ur older” it’s gotten to the point where I’d proudly eat one minute and then starve myself the next unaware what I should do, and I still don’t. On top of all of this I am trans, ftm to be exact, support if you want and if you don’t I can’t do anything to change that. This caused even more dysphoria and discomfort in my body it feels like I’m falling down a rabbit hole
eating less and eating more is really bad, 12OO calories is usually the best for your body but you should try out whats best for you, and i myself dislike my own body for it being so thin and being fat, my own parents dont support lgbt+ and i myself am bisexual. and have kept it as an secret for years , it does not matter what they think of as long as your happy
TW, ED im in the same boat bro, im also ftm... and ive always been a bit overweight (im 5,10 and 180 pounds) i dont mean to have thats info trigger anyone but i sufferd from bulimia but stayed the same weight and instead gave myself a super weak stomach to the point i will feel sick and nausous just by eating, this spiraled into anorexia tho and im still struggling, like i won't let myself eat over 1000 cals a day and if i do i try to purge it but cant cause of my history with bulimia that caused me to wear out my gag reflex so much to the point i could only get water out. but i hope things get better for you cause you diserve comfort and love for yourself!
I don't have a skinny body but you're parents are wrong to say smt so rude to you and making you eat, they should've comfort and be there for you not like this.
I'm in the same situation sweetiepie. I'm so sorry, I'm 15 and I understand your pain. Please, never give up. Never give in. Fight and continue to fight. Its hard, I know, but we can do this. Whatever you're going through I'm sorry, please hold my hand, we can get through this together!
(This is a vent) When I was younger I was bigger. I started to care when I was 6. I started to work out when my dad was at work. I would write down work out routines to do every time my parents weren’t home. They still don’t know to this day. I stopped eating as much and started to sneak into my moms room to use the scale. I also use to make myself suffer in hot outfits so I would sweat.I started losing weight, I was so happy. I thought I had finally b came beautiful. In 5th grade, I was told I would “look better if I put down some pounds” by my crush. That’s when it got the worst. I started eating less, maybe skipping breakfast every so often. Then lunch, and dinner. Started giving out my food to all my friends so they would eat. Continued to use the scale and cry in the mirror. Covered my stomach when sitting, sucking in no matter what I was in, wearing hoodies and bigger clothes, walking around light headed,cry any time I ate. My parents started to complain on how little I was eating but the one time I did my mom told me “stop eating everything I just bought”. I cried and she didn’t even care. Ik I was fat too, everyone always calls me so skinny now and my grandma even use to call me “tubby” bc I was chubby. She told me her self. I hate being picked up bc I feel heavy, I hate bathing suits, I love dresses but always suck in as much as possible when wearing one. I always bring a sweater with me so I have something to cover me. I don’t think I’ve done anything to harmful but I’m still stuck in this stupid mess. I hate every inch of myself.
Yes it does. I feel very bad for anyone going thru this (im also going through it at age 12.) and i thought it was normal ti skip breakfast cos i woke up late. If anyone is going through this PLEASE take care of yourself❤️
This. I'm 12, and my metabolism is ruined. I stopped eating for days at a time, I lost weight. I was proud of myself, for once. But that never lasted, it never does. I ate lunch. I gained weight. I stopped eating lunch. I lost weight. I started eating this once, and I gained so much weight. Every day I scale myself, and I cry in my room. Because of all the fasting I did I ruined my metabolism, I ruined my body, I ruined myself. I love the feeling of touching my ribs, the ones that poked out of my body while I laid down to sleep. I miss the feeling where I could barely walk because I wasn't eating. The feeling of hunger, the feeling is starvation. The feeling of satisfaction when I look in the mirror and see my stomach being slimmer. But it it was just a short moment of satisfaction. I am ugly, fat, insecure, and jealous. And I wish I wasn't like this, because it has taken over my life. I care more about my WEIGHT than my grades. Classmates ask me if I'm not eating lunch to lose weight, I lie because they don't need to know the truth. Maybe I was born like this, maybe I was just meant to be fat.
Welp I just messed up. Those stupid stupid counselors. She said she wouldn’t tell anyone. Yet why did I go home to my mom angry throwing stuff and yelling at me telling me it’s my fault and that she hates me. Wow. The one time I try to open up too. Update. Thanks for all the help. While no I did not report her I did manage to convince her to go to therapy so we could grow together. I don’t blame her, my mother, like me, grew up with abusive parents. She only did what she’d been taught, and it’s not her fault. We’ve been a week in therapy and since this week she has had some outbreaks of anger but she’s been a lot more responsible. I can tell she’s trying and that makes me so happy. I think I’m finally on the road to a good relationship with my mom. :)
I'm so sorry this happened, I feel your pain. I told them not to tell my mom because I am afraid of her. Please stay strong hun and know that there are others who care for you
First, im rlly proud of you for opening up, i know how hard it can be sometimes. Second, just wanted to tell you, stay strong, i dont rlly know how it feels, and if i knew, everyone sees it diferently. I rlly hope ur doing better, i believe in you, you got this
I’ve listened to this for quite awhile but never commented. “when I was little, someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up and I said, small” All of us wider set girls grow up with this subconsciously ingrained in us, or at least I did. Not even fat girls, but taller, broader shoulders, wider built, just larger girls. we all watched such petite, tiny girls be the standard. the envy of all. all the small girls that guys could pick up and put in their pocket. the weak small girl that is perfect. It’s one of those things that isn’t directly in the forefront of your mind. Just growing somewhere in the subconscious. Growing up, hoping to eventually be that small. Hoping that one day you will wake up and be a size 0 that guys could throw around and finally be wanted. Then, one day you do, wake up and realize that your shoulders will never reduce. your hips will not deflate. your legs will not get any shorter and you will not shrink 8 inches. no matter how much weight you lose, your silhouette will never be “small”. I realized that **dying** to be small is one of the most true unspoken ideals I’ve had since my youth. Falling in love with this vision of a perfect woman that I could never, ever reach and as a result, having to deal with the self hatred and disappointment of not becoming that every time I caught a glance of myself in a mirror. Hating your body, not feeling like a woman, not feeling like a human, not feeling normal. It’s a massive hurtle that has been growing since you just “wanted to be small” when you were small, and no one saying anything. no one telling you otherwise. congratulating you for having such good goals or laughing at the child aspiring to be nothing more than the picture of an “ideal” woman. I don’t know, maybe no one will read this, or maybe no one will relate to me. If you do relate to this, and somehow found this comment, I just have one thing to say to you. It is and will be an uphill battle to see ourselves as a beautiful woman or anything but a mistake. It will take a lot to finally see ourselves as someone worth more than just having a “better body”. to open our eyes one day, to wake up, and instead of aspiring to be small, we will desire a meal, a career, a family, or anything in between. we will desire a life, instead of the obsessive modification of our silhouette. I haven’t made it there yet, but I’m still growing. Make peace with your younger selves who only saw your appearance and appeal in others eyes, because only once you do that can you begin seeing more. I love you all, and I believe we can be more than “small”.
The last line in the first song is literally making me have a breakdown on a school night, holy shit my ED is just getting worse by the minute and I am now just realizing it
TW: ED, bullying, grooming When I was 8 my crush told me I was fat, my groomer called me fat, at 8 I was binge eating and vomiting after. I never saw anything wrong with it, I thought I was loosing weight naturally because vomiting was natural. I was wrong. I’m 15 now and have recovered, it took many years, therapy and kind words. I’ve come to terms with myself. But I know there’s others dealing with this and I want them to know they’re not alone, that they’re amazing the way they are. And you reading this, you’re amazing, an amazing human being.
@brenda vasquez hey, just so you know, there is no one who is ugly or someone who is beautiful, people are people and someone who is 'beautiful' now could look úgly' in about a few year time, people who discriminate others especially regarding their looks are uglier than they might ever make you out to be.
sending love to everyone struggling, from one person with messed up eating habits to any others. i hope everyone’s doing okay, and if you’re not, please stay safe and remember that you are 100% valid. much love
when your own family or your own friends calls you “fat” and says “you have to eat less”, “you’re too fat” hurts different way btw you are perfect every way, so don’t starve yourself,don’t overthink and focus on yourself …please
I was binging once and my mom gave me an actually healthy amount of food and Im not mad at her for it cus she was well intentioned and Probably right but jesus Christ it was so shameful
@@kys2034I know this comment i 9 months old, but yeah, I know how this shit is. I remember once when I was eating I school and I ate a certain amount of food that was much more than others although not binging and when a girl said: "*my name* eats a lot lmao" omg, I know it wasn't her intention, but omg, I HAVE NEVER FELT SUCH SHAME. And it wasn't such a large amount of food, but just seeing everyone eating less was so embarrassing.
@@HarlequinS1mp My sister once said to me "Shut up your fucking whale", the only thing i could do was going to the bathroom to Just cry and she Said this exact same thing when she opened the door (i was looking at the mirror crying) and Saw me crying.
I’m 12 and I relate to this problem so badly. I always look in the mirror point out my flaws. When I was too skinny I ate too much and got “too fat” and now I’m insecure everyday. Every night, I cannot sleep thinking about how everyone’s life would be so much better if I was dead. I hate people. My sister, dad, and mother are no help. They fucking point out my insecurities everyday. “Your gaining too much weight.” Not only my body am I insecure about it’s my face aswell :( I hate myself because I stand out in a bad way. I wish I could have someone with the same problems and this video made me realize I have people just like me :)
they are dickheads, you're gorgeous and you deserve to hear all their bullshit!! I really wish you the best, bud!! You can get through this, and hopefully, you'll get to be in a nicer environment soon!!
TW: ED VENT I was chubby when I was younger, my mom disliked how fat I was. She insulted my weight and made fun of me and to this day I can't get those words out of my head. Everyone says small things and it hurts so much. "You look like a whale", "you sure you wanna eat that", "I can't trust you with that food, you might just eat it haha", they all pass it off as a joke, they dont even realize how much if affects the other person. I starve myself then after sometime I won't be able to take it and I'll on a rampage and eat a lot, I'll feel guilty and then vomit it all out, I don't even know myself what this is...I just love food but i hate it so so much.
i too also went through this, still am to this day and i hope that everyone on this side of the internet ends up getting better and that includes you and i
Ever since I was a child, I’ve always been told I was skinny and how I looked perfect. Through out my life I’ve even been told to become a model. Im pretty sure this would sound like every person’s dream. But for me it only developed insecurities. Now Im being told that im “built like a twig”. And yet im still being praised for my “beauty”. Present time now and my confidence is just ruined. Im constantly forcing myself to keep my figure. Which has led to starving myself. And for what? Just to keep people happy. Its like I’ve developed this thought that if I was skinny enough, people would like me, people would want to hang out with me. Im still facing this problem. i just want to stop feeling this way but I cant.
when i was 9 i was determined my mother gave up on helping me after multiple promises and failures and then when i was 11 i was 58kg so i only ate 700-800 calories a day and in 5 weeks i dropped to 49kg the smile in me was so wide my mother and i gained a healthy relationship to only gain an ed but the outcome is those 800 calories were always water a fruit and a small piece of oven cooked protein so as i grew older to 13 i eat 900 calories a day and have an eating disorder that is less harder for me to handle like three other.
This is exactly what happend to me people called me pretty because of my weight and told me I should be a model, they even told me to not each much because I might become fat.
me too.. and now im insecure. those 'jokes' they made, the ones like "come get it fatty" make me never want to eat again.. even though they said sorry, that doesn't erase what they did, and i will never forget. happy easter everyone
Don't listen to people like that. They only wish they were as beautiful/handsome as you Pls never forget how perfect everyone INCLUDING you is. No matter what you look like
shout out to my mom who has body shamed me for years, she's always made remarks about how i'd need to lose weight to wear something or how i needed to eat less even when i would eat nothing for days. the one memory that haunts me was when i was around 6-7 and i really needed a new pair of jeans, she came back with sweatpants because "they didn't have my size" they did, she just wanted an excuse to call me fat. it was such a small thing but it hurt so much. all my life she has compared me to my tall, skinny brothers. im average weight and i always had been. shes the one that gave me these issues and all i want is a simple apology for everything, that won't ever happen though. thankfully i have an amazing partner who tries to get me to eat and cares a lot about me, but sometimes i just don't want to eat, i hate eating, i don't want to get better. they're the only reason i'm trying
Same bestie :'( but I really hope you'll be better. Please, for me. My parents, especially my mom, use to compare me to my oh so athletic brother. She always told me to stop eating, to go do sports but at the same time to study, to lose weight, again and again. And I'm sick of that. I'm suffocating what I'm at home, and stressing at school to maintain my perfect grades. I'm only 12 for God's sake! And I just can't anymore. Istg that if my friends weren't here, I would probably won't either. Anyways, sorry for brotheeing you with that and hope you'll be better soon:')
I’m so sorry to hear that. I’m glad your still trying. 💜 Just never give up and everything will be fine, keep fighting for a happy future with your partner. I wish you the best, have a great day!
@@orsolyacsintalan631 thanks but, you know, I think that I was too caught up by my emotions but I think I'm just being a drama queen so don't worry (and sorry for my bad english)
Well, I just want to let you know that you don't have to regret telling me ♥ Some things that help me with that are having a plushie or pillow, anything to cuddle really, and writing in a diary. I'll have you in my prayers and I send my love 💗
i’m so sorry. y’all don’t deserve this. society is so sick and twisted. each and every one of you guys deserve three meals a day. you deserve to be kind to yourself. you deserve to eat when you are hungry without punishment. i know it’s so hard. take care of yourselves for me, okay? i’ll be here if anyone wants someone to talk to ❤
I cant stop eating, i keep bingeing and i keep getting in trouble for it, i just cant stand the feeling of being hungry i hate it, i try to stop, i try to focus on what im doing but i cant
nah vaping is harder to let go. We wont die (fast) when not eating but vaping can cause a somewhat painful death. Its also hard to get rid of. i mean not in the position to say so sorry if i offended y’all 🤷♀️
Eating is much harder than letting go of vaping but you shouldn't feel bad about it, If vaping makes you feel good then keep doing it, your life your rules!
TW I DO NOT CONDONE STARVING YOURSELF! Fuck it. I’ll eat so much my heart desires and starve all I want. I’m happy as shit. Overjoyed and sleepless. A ball of childlike energy flying around. I feel so sexy. I feel so beautiful. I feel so innocent and small. I feel like a child.
(vent) i’ve been fatter than my friends my whole life, i wouldn’t have realised it if it weren’t for my family that was there to let me know, but uk it was for my best, for health. My grandmother told me when u was playing in the pool that i had stretch marks when i was 9, and told my mom to take care of my diet. One day i was having breakfast and my mom and her told me it was too much, and that i would end up fatter than i already was, and if i didn’t want to be skinny. Obviously i wanted but i was a kid. then appeared the scoliosis, not only i had huge hips at a young age, and every family member pointed it out, now i had one side of the waist thinner. Everything was wrong and still is. My family only seems to care for me when im skinny, and when they see me eat i feel extremely judged. I no longer can eat in front of them. I feel exhausted of this feeling of never being enough since i was 7. Ive always wondered of having a ed, ive tried several times, and i am trying right now, ive realised its the only way to fit in. Its either that of hospitalising myself, i wont never achieve the body that i need. I even harmed myself because of how much i hated myself, but i couldn’t keep going because my mom told me those scars were so ugly, they believed what i told them about how it happened. I just want to get rid of my body.
Vent 💀 Basically since 2019 I was 9 and weighed myself and I was 98 pounds. I got super insecure and ran to by bedroom and cried myself to sleep. My eating stopped, I would usually only eat a small bowl of cereal each day. I’d be tired and weak throughout the day, causing me to get bad grades. It all kept going down hill. I would tell my parents I ate dinner before they got home from work so I wouldn’t have to eat. For my 10th birthday I ate 2 pieces of chocolate being that I didn’t want to become “overweight” again. I stepped on the scale and it said. 72 pounds. Wtf. I looked down at my chest and I could see the lines of my rib cage bulging out of my chest and my skinny arms. I looked like a stick figure. I’m 12 now and I’m slowly recovering. ❤️
Damn...only 12 years old...? How heartbrealing that people that young are hating their body... You're life just started and you're a gorgeous person...dont let anyone tell you otherwise
This is a vent! I'm so insecure about myself... I hate my body... My face, my hair, my mouth, and nose, I hate my body.... I don't like how I look... People tell me "oh there's nothing wrong with your body" Or "you look fine the way you are! " But I feel like sometimes they are just trying to make me feel... Better about myself.... But no it doesn't help... I still don't like how I look... My body looks weird to me.... When I look at my friends I feel like they look way better than I do.... And I just look at myself and think " I wish I looked like that"
I hate being at the point where I'm neutral about my body. I know it's progress, but its so annoying when the old thoughts come back. I want to buy a bikini and force myself out of comfort zone, so I can convince myself "hey look at you. You're gorgeous!" The only thing that's stopping me is the fear that others will not let me because they don't think it would look good on me or that I'll put it on and they'll not see me the way I do.
LISTEN TO ME, DO WHATEVER MAKES YOU HAPPY, IF OTHER DON'T LIKE IT SCREW THEM, YOU'RE PERFECT JUST THE WAY YOU ARE. YOU ARE GORGEOUS!!!! love you ❤️❤️ (Platonically) now go get that bikini, if you haven't already!!
I don't know who needs to hear this, but this kind of skinny is NOT healthy. It is not good for you, it only affects how people treat you. Ignore their judgemental words and glares, love yourself for who you are and I promise you will feel 10x better about yourself. Self love is not an overnight thing, it takes time.
I know, but it’s just so hard. Once I start eating, I can’t stop, because I’m so hungry. So if I don’t eat at all, I won’t have to worry about stopping. I hate being fat. I just want to be pretty and skinny.
Dang, this makes me cry. I remember when I thought that I'm fat. Even though I'm skinny, I always cried and thought I'm fatty. Parents always said my body is more than good, but my panic attacks on those moments just got me go more mad. I'm over it now, but sometimes I think about those days. We all need to be proud of our bodies.
@@Nicko-ji6gz the best medecine that you can get is support of your parents or friends. Sorry for so small advise but I think it would help you. So you need to find some support. Remember, nobody's perfect, and nobody needs to be perfect. But we are all beautiful in our way.
My mom literally knows I’m anorexic and mocks me for it. She says things like: “come on, finish eating, you can puke it later” or “you can’t have pizza, but you can get Diet Coke, see this place anorexic friendly” it bothers me so much, I wish she could just acknowledge she messed me up and has to pay for it
@@Jaelynnlr4 I agree withthis user! Anorexia is not something to joke about, its constant days of looking at yourself in the mirror and not being able to finish breakfast.
TW: Mentions of SH I promised my friend I would stop doing SH but I just can't it's not that easy and now I feel guilty every time I SH because I always think of what I said instead of feeling relief and it's driving me absolutely insane and I also been noticing that every time I look in a mirror without my mask on I look uglier in my vision.
Maybe not promise it and just say you will cut down on the SH since it is hard to just go completely normal after doing it for a while. You got this just remember that you have to not do it too much. Set goals so you can make it easier ! You got this 👍👏
u can do it. never give up. even after a relapse it doesn't mean u start from the beginning. keep going. start from where u were before and keep on going. i believe u can make it through this tough time. the struggle gets better. everything gets better. u matter so much. never forget how much u mean to this world. it takes so much grit to get through this. u are doing the best u can. i believe u can do it!!
U will actually never know how well I understand you. I failed so many times, sometimes I still think about SH. It won't go away. I know how it is when everything you try to stop is not working. I know how it is just wanting everyone stop carrying about this. Don't promise for anyone to stop this, do it for yourself. For now, just do your minimum to survive, don't try to hard. Even if it means not going out of your room for ages, not cleaning or taking a bath. U need a break, u have to understand that. I know it is hard, but I believe you can do it! I believe in u! And in your will to make a change!
Vent!! I feel like no one will ever love me unless I’m skinny. I cry after I eat because then I know I will never get to be like all the pretty girls. I know all the risks and yet I still want to take them just to be pretty, my parents who are also overweight are commenting on my shape, people don’t like me because of my body, yet when I see other girls even if they are the similar body type to me, are popular and everyone loves them for who they are. And then I see all the skinny girls commenting on all their flaws, and talk about how they look fat, in front of me and even look at me about it like they want a reaction out of me.
being skinny shouldnt be so idiolized i lost 10kg to ed and now that im "skinny " all i feel is empty anf regretful and alot of people are worried about me now when i see a healthty,fat,chubby person i envy them plz dond ever skip a meal eat well theres noyhong about beong skinnt that feels good you have sm more of yourslef ti love when you have more wieght
being skinny, overweight or healthy isnt exactly the thing that you need to change to feel satisfied with yourself its the mindset having a mindset that's obsessed with weight and looks is really hard, I know its hard to change your mindset, but just try to get out before you're in too deep In the ed and body dysmorphia mindset and also if you're in too deep still try it would be worth the pain, try to find yourself and love the person you're. and if the problem is with the ppl you're around cut them out, you're strong and i hope you find a way to love yourself
Here now purposely triggering my ED that I've worked so hard to recover from. Reason : I weighed myself today after 3 years of recovery to discover I'm 215lbs. I feel like I could die. I looked in the mirror and the old me creeped out to say she'd save me again and make me small once more. I agreed. So here we go again on this thankless journey. I'm 21 ill be 22 in 2 months. I thought I'd be better by now but I don't think I'll ever be better.
TW: DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY, ED My parents told me "Lose weight" so many times because I talked about my body issues and they just told me to "journal it" about my depression and anxiety, they didn't try to help emotionally. I felt so tired, I hate my body and I wish I was blue eyed Blondie perfect body, but I'm not her. I used to be annorexic
No need too hate your body, every body is beautiful in their own way and I'm telling yours is too , your parents don't know what their talking about, no need to lose weight it doesn't change u as a person
Hey too anyone struggling but feeling like your just faking it, here's something I heard ages ago that might help: If your doing it when nobody else is around, you're not faking it
…..And even if you’re doing it when only other people are around, that doesn’t mean that nothing is wrong, if you feel like you need help, seek out help, don’t let anyone or anything stop you from getting help is you want to, not even yourself
ed(?) vent today is the one of the first days that has really gotten me worried bc i couldn’t get or even allow myself to eat like i was afraid that i’d put my progress back if i took a bite of food. i ended up eating at 9pm but even then i can’t help but feel guilty and gross for simply feeding myself
tw: ed/attempted unalive (?) it started when i was 12, going onto 13. it was my birthday. a night with cake and sugary sweets and birthday tweets from my family. i invited my classmates. one of them looked at me and said; "you're eating all that cake? you're parents must feel like they're feeding a whale." that's when it started. i always thought "oh, I'm just dieting, I'm trying to lose weight." years passed and I've gained at least 3 more pounds. i thought "when will this ever end. i feel like a burden to everyone." everyone in my school was wearing clothes so effortlessly because they sad small waists and tiny chests and flat stomachs and slim thighs and slim arms. and me? well, i certainly wasn't all that. i had chubby arms and legs, a stomach that was bloated 24/7, and a chest size far too big for my age. every passing second i would worry about what i ate, when i ate, and how much i ate. it was tearing me apart everyday. i used to not eat for 3 days straight, go on fad diets, and have a specific amount of calories i should be consuming and worst of all, i would hurt myself for it, as if I'm punishing myself. i never thought I'll be like my friends or family. they all look so skinny and fragile. i wish that was me.
You know it’s bad when even the slightest bit of stress makes you puke up the last three days worth of meals. Thanks for making this, it’s great to feel understood.🖤
Im just crying all night bcuse of this disgusting body. My friends and my family dont understand me they says "you are skinny" no im not.. Im not skinny. Im fatter than other childs im fatter than my friends.. i cant eat in the school bcuse im shy of this body. Im just tired of this body
I understand what you want to say when people who are thinner Then you tell you that you are Not "fat" then you will be angry or sad. But remember even of you are "fat" you are still beautiful. You can still be beautiful and Not fit the beauty standard. And i know im Just a random Person in the Internet But i was and still am in that Same Situation where im the biggest in my friend group and i can Tell you that it will get better at Some Point. So plss dont do anything to you or your Body that is Bad in any way cause that is another Thing you will regret. (Sry that this is so kinda long and weird Written But I'm not very good at expressing myself)
i understand this more than anything.. i am so sorry.. and ik, ik it wont do anything. but i truly am. there have been too many nights where i cry myself to sleep bc im not as pretty as my friends, or my classmates, or my expectations. i highly suggest a therapist, even if its one that you just call. you dont have to go and see them. and you are beautiful
TW: VENT For the past...5 months. I go to school and I hear every, single, day: "Go kill yourself. GO break your legs, go...jump off a bridge" from a person I used to think of as a friend. I get called "Fat" "Short" "Marshmallow" and I am so sick of this bullshit! I try to distract myself with the few friends I have but when it gets to the point most of them aren't very friendly. I stay awake at night and look up ways on how to be skinnier but I never try because I feel like no matter what I look like people will always find a way to make you feel like you don't matter. Sometimes I feel like If I were to die nobody would care, and I just want some closure because I'm getting more violent and every time I even mention it to my Mom her only response is "It's your period, calm down." Like it's some kind of fucking joke and she says that I'm lucky but how could THIS be lucky?!?! How...am I lucky?
I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. Please stay strong, I wish you all the best. Take care💜 100 reasons to stay alive: 1. The salty smell and calming sound of the beach 2. You would hurt a lot people that love you more than life itself 3. Hot chocolate on cold winter days 4. Your moms smile 5. Your best friends laugh 6. Your little cousins, nieces, and nephews that look up to you 7. The feeling of the sun against your face 8. Hearing the words “I love you” 9. Not being able to sleep/the feeling you get the night before a holiday 10. Birthdays 11. Quiet late night drives 12. Missed opportunities and adventures 13. The feeling of lying in bed after a long day 14. Long hot showers 15. Music that you connect with 16. You have a purpose 17. You can change somebody’s life 18. Snowball fights 19. Concerts 20. Watching people fall 21. As long as you heart is beating, there is hope 22. You will regret dying 23. Your dreams 24. Marriage 25. You are enough 26. Pain is only temporary 27. Late night food runs with your friends 28. The sound of rain 29. Reading powerful quotes 30. Eating your favorite foods 31. Stars 32. Good movies 33. Having children 34. Staring at clouds and finding pictures within them 35. Meeting new people 36. Your struggle will make you stronger 37. You have a lot of people that love and support you 38. Being able to say, “I made it” 39. Genuine smiles 40. Bonfires 41. You matter 42. Time heals most wounds 43. Your first apartment/house 44. The crunch of leaves in the fall 45. Finding your soul mate 46. Meaningful hugs 47. Being in/attending someone’s wedding 48. You are worth it 49. Sunday night football 50. The smell of Christmas trees 51. People care about you; lots of them in fact 52. Sunsets 53. Ice cream 54. You are brave 55. Things really do get better 56. Dogs 57. Cats 58. Pets in general 59. Rainbows 60. You are amazing 61. The city 62. Travelling 63. Vacations 64. Road trips 65. Hearing awesome stories 66. Inside jokes 67. Coffee 68. Snowmen 69. Your talents 70. You’ll disappoint the people that love you by letting your illness win 71. The feeling of pure joy/happiness 72. You will be happy one day 73. All-nighters with your friends 74. Cuddling 75. Reunions with your friends/high school/college 76. Re-connecting with someone you haven’t talked to in years 77. Smiling 78. Seeing someone else smile 79. You are beautiful 80. Decorating you house/apartment 81. Capturing perfect moments on camera 82. You would be missed 83. Quiet bookstores/small restaurants 84. Your favorite hobby 85. Swimming on a hot day 86. Being cozied up with blankets 87. Feeling refreshed after a nice nap 88. Helping other people 89. Watching the people you love become successful 90. Becoming successful yourself 91. Babies/little kids 92. Cute old people 93. Love stories 94. You are strong 95. You will be proud that you continued to live 96. The feeling of grass under your feet 97. Telling crazy stories 98. The smell of rain 99. Watching lightning 100. YOU ARE LOVED❤️
Hmm...Is there any other person you feel like you can talk to about your issues other than your mom? Another relative, like a grandparent or aunt/uncle, a really close friend, a teacher you really like or a guidance counselor?
i really hope things get better for you :( remember that even if you think no one cares, and even if im just a random stranger on the internet who probably lives on the other side of the world, i would be very sad if you die, so dont you even dare
I’ll eat food and then later think to myself “wow I’m so fat I eat all the time maybe I should cut of the food for a while so I can be skinny” and what hurts most is when my little sister once asked me if I was pregnant and when my parents sometimes say “why do you eat so much???”
You should eat how much your comfortable with if people say your eating to much doesn't mean you should reduce it , your not fat and being thinner won't make you feel any better you'll face alot of regret and wish you didn't fall down this path, please be strong and remember you aren't fat your beautiful
Dude I was walking into school when I started to listen to this and I swear to god I died inside. I was listing to the first part of it and I was like 🫨 crap my life in a nut shell
Tw: Ed and sh mention I have started to lose weight at a quicker rate than I expected and it's the fact that my family is just saying "You lost a lot of weight, you look so good" and honestly it feels so good and I am just scared of gaining more and I hate it. It's gotten worse. My sh has gotten worse. It's hard to break the cycle when you find comfort in the illness
After covid,its been 2 yrs that i completely didn't saw my face to any of my friends and one day my classmate suddenly came to my house to take my notebook ....i had to go meet her...and i felt comfortable for her to see my face and we bid byes until next day when we met at school she laughed and told me how the first thing she noticed about my face was my big fat nose....it has always been like this i have always been bullied about my nose..and i will never forget the things they said,everyone said about me..i hate me..the way i look iam so ugly i will never be beautiful
Darling it’s a nose. why does mater that your nose isnt the same as everyone else's. if you can breath through it than its just how it was meant to be.
VENt: I' ve been overweight all my life and I hated my fat body so much. When I first started school, I was really excited and expecting to have friends I can play with, but reality is harsh instead I was bullied all my life in school, outside and even at home for being fat. Instead of trying to lose weight like what almost all people kept telling me as they laugh at my body, I instead kept eating even when I am full. As I reach my adolescenes, I have 0 friends as I already kept being betrayed, I began to trust no one. My stress and anxiety became worse. I was stressed at school and I kept overthinking of the embarrasing things I did there Like shaking in front of my classmates as i present in front of them. At night I would cry thinking how much they must have think how pathetic I Am. I was stressed at home, As my mother never comes home due to work and now I had to take care of the house and my Autistic brother. I dont know how to stop my brother from his tantrums (In which can physically hurt us at times and himself). Even my cooking is being insulted that I became afraid of people visiting our house whenever I was cooking. I am mentally exhausted that the only thing I can do is Cut myself and overeat because of that I became obese at 17 and my health grew worse. Everytime I get stressed, my stomache hurts so much at night that the only thing I can do is cry silently with the pain.
i'm so sorry that you've been through this. please stay strong, don't hurt yourself. talk to someone, ask for help if you need it. i hope the best for you, take care. you matter 💜
oh honey... im so sorry that you have to feel like this.. it made me cry haha. i wish i could hug you right now and eat trh food you cook and help with your brother and be your friend. tbh i would use a friend too.. i wish you the absolute best, stay strong!
TW ED "Oh, I'm not hungry." (lie) "I just ate, haha, I'm okay." (lie) "I'll eat later." (lie) I'm a healthy BMI. I've always been-- I used to be a scrawny kid so when I gained (healthy) weight in high school, I hated myself. I wanted a flat stomach. I wanted abs. I worked out at 1am every night until I cried. I refused to eat but didn't have the choice to eat or not at home so slowly yet surely convinced everyone in my family that "I'm just never hungry, haha. I guess I've got a small stomach." They believed me after a few months. They didn't find it weird for me to eat so little. Today my dad came to my room before going to work and said, "Hey I put some pizza and potato wedges in the toasted oven. Grab some potato wedges, I put in two pizza slices for you :D" (we don't usually eat pizza so he was excited that we'd get some of the leftovers from last night) "Oh--no, put one in. I'm not hungry," I said with a smile. He frowned at me. He looked me dead in the eye and said, "You know.. it's okay to eat. You're a healthy weight and you need food. It's okay. Don't be going hungry." "I know, Papa. I'm just not hungry," I told him. "Okay, then.." he said with a sigh and went off to work. When I tell you I cried so hard after he left. He's the only one who noticed. He's the only one who has ever brought it up. I felt so seen. So cared about. Damn I'm crying writing this now lol. It meant so much. It just meant so much.
hi, thank you so much for sharing! (I cried a little :'). Please remember that you're important! I know that we're both strangers on the internet, but I just wanted you to know that I CARE ABOUT YOU! Stay strong and please know that it's okay to ask for help if you need it
Can't remember when was the last time I took a look at myself in the mirror, but I remember I cried so hard then. I'm struggling with gender dysphoria and so many insecurities I can't even count them down, I just feel so fuckin terrible
Just a reminder to anyone who is who doesn’t have the “pretty” body type, I have that body and still feel insecure, don’t compare yourself to other people with “ perfect” body types
I am only 11, yet this is the most relatable thing i have ever heard. It is hard being overweight in a school being surrounded by skinny, pretty, girls. I dont even like how my face looks, It just is not fair, i dont like living. but i just live because im scared of how much it will hurt to die. i want to die because im scared of not being "perfect". So... Yea. Thats my vent, I hope i actually am the only one who feels this, because i dont think people should feel this type of stress and pain. Welp, if anyone is i hope you can get better from whatever you are feeling, that inculdes anyone else who feels something even related to this. its not okay for you as a human being to feel like this. just know, there are people in this world who love you, including me
Oh honey you’re so young, and I am so sorry that you feel like this. Please remember that you’re perfect no matter what you look like. I know it’s hard to believe but please trust me. Maybe try to occupy your time doing something you enjoy and please take care of yourself 🫶🏻🫶🏻
aaaaaah im so sorry, im 13 and i had the EXACT same thoughts at 11 :,) ,its extremely important to not stress about this when you are so young or it will consume you
its 4 am. i just finished watching tiktok filled with pretty girl with skinny waist and wearing fashionable clothes and i am jealous of them. I am jealous that they get to wear pretty clothing while everything i wear looks ugly on me. I hate it. I relapsed again after 2 months clean because of how overwhelmed i am with my stupid body. my sister is skinny and she is anorexic and i am so jealous of her because she can handle her hunger by not eating for days and only eat instant noodles or snacks when shes hungry. she only eats food when she really craves for it and i am jealous of her for that. i cant do that shit. i have to eat heavy food to fill my stupid fat stomach or otherwise i'll be grumpy and be a nuisance to everyone. I hate it. I know that me and my sister is fucked up and its unhealthy for both of us. I am 109 kg while she is 53kg and she wants to be at least 40 kg. and whenever she complains that shes getting fat, it made my blood boils since i want to be her so bad but i will never be like her. my grandma only praises her and called me fat and saying that i gained weight. I AM GAINING WEIGHT AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE. I CANT EXERCISE BECAUSE IM A NIGHT OWL AND I HATE EXERCISING AT EVENING SINCE ITS HOT OUTSIDE. I DONT WANNA DANCE OR DO ZUMBA BECAUSE I HATE DANCING AND MY BOOBS HURT WHENEVER I JUMP. I CANT DO DIETS BECAUSE IM A PICKY EATER AND ONLY EATS WESTERN FOOD MOST OF THE TIME. I HATE IT. i just want to be skinny and pretty effortlessly. my face is full of acne and i dont do skinccare because im a lazy asshole who can only cry and complain. i hate it when skinny people complains that they're fat. I HATE IT WHEN MY EX FRIENDS DID THAT. sure they can be insecure BUT HAVE THEY THOUGHT OF MY INSECURITY? I MAY JOKE ON HOW FAT I AM BUT MOST OF THE TIME I FEEL LIKE CRYING. skinny people have it easy while fat people had to struggle searching for pretty clothes that fit their size but SKINNY PEOPLE HAD THE AUDACITY TO TAKE PLUS SIZE CLOTHINGS AND TOLD US FAT PEOPLE TO SEARCH ONLINE. WE DID. AND NONE OF THE SIZE FITS US PERFECTLY. AND MOST OF THE PLUS SIZE FASHION THEY SHOW EITHER SLIM MODELS OR CURVY MODELS BUT NEVER THE ACTUAL FAT CHUBBY MODELS. i hate when skinny people think that they're overweight and ugly when in reality they're the beauty standard. i hate it. i have more to say but i think i vented way too much. so maybe that is all from me for now.
As someone whose skinny, I’m only like this because I had an ED from the age of like 5 or some shit like that I don’t even remember anymore it’s all just a blur but it’s horrible because I have gotten made fun of for being skinny and told by everyone to gain weight and made fun of because I looked like a twig. And so I gained weight, now I’m pretty average. I’m still kinda under weight but I feel fat the second I see the slightest bit of stomach fat due to the fact that I could literally see my whole rib cage as a child like it was really unhealthy but I loved being that way. I’m so close to just not eating again but I’m not sure I could take it. Anyways that’s besides the point. But we feel fat because society tells us to gain weight and when we do it’s not normal to us so we feel overweight.
Ok, u made me cry. You are just like me, but I developed the so wished anorexia and just for u to know, your self image will not get better when u get skinnier. Self experience
Holy shit the first song made me cry, im just so happy to not be in that hole of ed, im so sorry for anyone who is still struggling please know that we all wish you the best, i know you can overcome this disorder, you are more than a number on a scale
♪ Join my Discord server: discord.gg/gqmkZCkjAc
🎶time stamps🎶
♪ 0:00 When The Fat Girl Gets Skinny - Button Poetry, Blythe Baird
♪ 2:55 Prom Queen - Beach Bunny
♪ 5:07 Starving For Attention - The Narrative
♪ 9:45 idontwannabeyouanymore - Billie Eilish
♪ 13:09 Anorexic Beauty - Pulp
♪ 16:04 Strawberry Shortcake - Melanie Martinez
♪ 19:09 Better Than Me - The Brobecks (slowed)
♪ 24:02 Body Terror Song - AJJ
♪ 26:40 Misery Meat - Sodikken
♪ 27:44 Alien Blues - Vundabar
♪ 30:19 I Deserve to Bleed - Sushi Soucy
♪ 32:03 Mrs. Potato Head - Melanie Martinez
♪ 35:39 Body - Mother Mother
♪ 39:08 brutal - Olivia Rodrigo (slowed)
♪ 41:45 I’m not Pretty - JESSIA
♪ 43:42 Mirror - Chase Goehring
♪ 46:54 Pretty's On The Inside - Chloe Adams
♪ 51:06 Scars To Your Beautiful - Alessia Cara
The last words of “When the fat girl gets skinny” flowed perfectly with the next song
ok but 'if you are not recovering, you ARE dying.'
@@rae1330 guess i am dying then
@@rae1330 take care
@@jaydenackerman9761 stay safe
You know it’s a good playlist when it gives you the warning and the hotline number
Yees
Frr
Yes. That's when you know it'll hit your soul with accuracy
Could never agree more
Fr man
"Not obsessed with being hungry but afraid of being full" hits so hard
That's the hardest line❤
Real
I'm not obsessed with being hungry but I'm afraid of gaining weight mama
“I used to be proud when I was cold in a warm room” that hit hard.
what does it mean?
@@DeigoBrandoOffical i guess its about eating disorder, u get cold easily if u starve yourself.
Wait- which song?
@@midnightrainbow2065 When the fat girl gets skinny by Blythe Baird
@@DeigoBrandoOffical basically, your body needs fat to protect organs. One of the things fat protects organs from is the cold. The more fat there is, the more cozy your body is in colder temps and the more easily it can maintain a regular temp. When you starve yourself, your body isn’t getting enough energy so it steals your fat and makes it energy, hence how people lose weight. I’d like to point out EVERYONE has stored, healthy fat. So this is a bad thing when you lose it. That’s why you get cold in warm rooms. No fat, your body struggles to keep you cozy and warm- especially when it’s not used to being that way.
:D hope this helped!
"If you're not recovering, you're dying." That hit so hard.
I almost started crying when I heard that.
I had to stop the video and cry during 10minutes fr...like..okay its true but it can't be true can it?💀🤡
No lol.
untrue i eat normally by force but still have horribly disordered thoughts
@@starwberriez Don't let these people manipulate you into thinking there's something wrong with you. If you don't want to eat the food you're eating by FORCE (which means your forcing yourself to eat), then don't eat. The term "anorexic" is thrown around to people who aren't even unhealthy and are perfectly fine. I know how you feel and you should not feel ashamed for not wanting to eat as much like these other people say so.
"what do you want to be when you grow up?" "Small"
That literally hits so hard, I'm crying
fr.
Me too. I've been told my whole life I was larger than I was supposed to be at my age.
it happened right when I read this comment and it hit even harder
That is literally the most depressing poem I've ever heard
I would want to be fatter... :(
I’m not tired of crying,I’m tired of being not able to cry.
Take care, I wish you well
Every time I want to cry nothing comes out, so every time I just sh. I am not tell you to sh please don't
@@emilymercer181 stay safe, i wish you well
I want to cry so bad. But I can’t and it hurts just sitting there feeling the pain inside my chest as I want something to come out and no one knows what I’m going through.
I force myself to cry usually when i want to cry. But then the tears just burn my eyes.
The “breakfast feels like giving up, and not getting my period in months” I felt that personally.
Question, how did you not get your period in months and I am just stupid and that's normal I got no idea.
@@getjinxedorgetwithered382 wdym? The peroid just dont come.
@@asy68 idk I am a boy how should I know!?!
@@getjinxedorgetwithered382 because if a person is malnutritioned they stop getting periods .
@@nandeshwarikoranga757 oh, that makes sense.
"If you develop an ED when you are already thin to begin with you go to a hospital" this hits like a truck
Also when you stay just thin enough so you don't end up in hospital people don't believe you because "you can eat" meaning you were "just asking for attention"
@@Alex-qg3zzThe irony of this thought that you have to be underweight to have ed is that statistically its actually not truth lol, if you Google it, less than 6% of people who have Eds are actually underweight and it's actually not really difficult to understand why. But yeah, this part of people not believing in you because you are not "thin enough" sucks, I had an online friend who was skinny sucker and was really fatphobic. When I told him about the ed I had at 13-14 he didn't believe me because I told him that my lowest was 50kg, this little demon even told me when I told him everything I did to look slimmer "Well as we can see, it didn't work out lmao" which made me wanna honestly cry because I suffered from several years of low self esteem because of that and someone who never saw my journey, never saw me on those years, doesn't know anything about me, doesn't know what I went through, my health historic, and then he feels entitled saying that I was lying? Like, why would the hell would I lie about this? What I gain from lying to you? Do you think you are some special star that I have to justify myself? Bitch, you aren't special. What do you think you are? You don't even know me, why the hell I would lie to you? I would gain absolutely nothing, if I was lying to the internet at the very least I would have gained money, but for an anonymous user who I don't even know the fucking face? And if I was lying, wouldn't I say an actual underweight weight? Oh my fucking goodness, I hate how people are so used to the fat = lazy that they believe I haven't ever done anything for my health or to look thiner, even at the time that I was a completely slob I made an effort with trying to eat healthy, I even complained to my grandma many times ti stop putting certain things on my meals so I get healthier, i told her many times to stop making thing to lunch that I considered unhealthy, I stop eating sausages at a long time, I ate fruits and everything. And no, I don't wanna a gift because of that, but hell, someone who never spoke to me before and doesn't know how my life is and what I do nor what I eat on a daily basis nor if I eat health feels entitled to shame me and just put the tittle "unhealthy" when he doesn't even know what I eat just makes my blood boil.
@@Molunu wtf, your "friend" is the worst, there is no exact weight to say someone has or not an ed, you have to take into account so many things the weight doesn't even matter, I really hope you are doing better because I went through some of this shit and others but I honestly don't wish this to anyone. People are so entitled to know what an ed is when they only know the movies way to picture it which is far from the reality for most of it
@@Alex-qg3zz Yeah, I'm better now but still struggling with low self esteem sometime lol, this playlist comforts me.
I was big already and even in the worst of my Ed I lost next to nothing, they just saw that I was exercising and assumed I was healthier, I hated it so much, I hated that I wasn’t losing the weight, I’d go days without eating and walk nine miles a day but it never made a difference, it just made me feel terrible and I hated it so much
“I have more insecurities than things I love about myself”
same here-
Sounds right..
kinnie moment
I love nothing about myself at this point.
Sounds right since forever..
Im anorexic and this is the first day in a year that I havent counted calories :)
edit: well, its been a while, and let me tell you its felt like it too. ive been through a lot since leaving this comment. firstly, i relapsed, bad. but after a couple months of it i started accepting help, and even asking for it. i looked for eating disorder resources, and, now, im recovered. fully. it feels weird to be talking about it but its not bad. i hope someone can be helped with this. Also i tried to like all your replies but i cant scroll through all of them thank you so much though i appreciate all your love and support !! i am a boy as well however that doesnt change my appreciation for replies calling me girl etc :3 i hope you all have a great day and a greater life
what an achievement, so proud of you !!
Yayyyy I’m so proud of you
That’s amazing! You got this!!!!
WE BELIEVE IN YOU YOURE STRONG AND AN INSPIRATION ROCK ON
well done
i remember once when i had to go out for dinner with my family, i couldnt find anything to wear. i had tried multiple outfits on, but i felt insecure and didnt feel 'pretty' in any of them. my mom came into my room, upset ab why i was taking so long getting ready. i told her 'i dont have anything to wear, nothing looks good on me'. she then told me 'you ARE fat, you cant change that. you're obese and you've reached the point where even the prettiest clothes cant look good on you'. she made me go out in that outfit. mind you i was 12 then. now she has the audacity to complain ab how i dont eat enough and that its not normal for a girl my age to lose so much weight.. SHE WAS THE ONE WHO TOLD ME TO EAT LESS AND TO WATCH MY FCKING WEIGHT!!!
Same, except I am trying to eat normally, tho my urge was to starve myself so they would at the very least say "sorry" to what they did to me and get worried about me. But either way, Don't fuck your health up due to your mom, try to be kinder with yourself, she may not have been kinder to you, but if no one is going to be kind with you you gotta be kinder with yourself. Don't drain your mental health because of her, maybe you should try to consume body positive content? Or talk to someone.
Your mother is fucking messed up for that.❤I genuinely hope you get better
MY MOMS ARE LIKE THAT
"It's getting... Hard to breathe.."
So relatable.
Yep
Which song??(:
@@noa.profile_3352 prom qybeach bunny
@@forget-me-not-lover thank you love❤️
ok so is it normal to to feel like you can’t breathe when you’re starving yourself or is that just me?
I hate being inside a body in general, i feel so heavy and tired and fat and weak and empty, I just want to feel light and normal and healthy and energetic and strong
I wish you all the best, take care
Same
This is what I feel like, like I’m not living and it’s so annoying I don’t want to die I just don’t wanna live like this. I wanna fix myself but I can’t
@@yukiela6037 i hope the best for you, you matter 🤍
Im sorry you feel that way..but please take care of yourself, many people out there love you and care for you.
I hate being overweight, but this playlist is amazing
I just finished reading the second Black Butler manga and Istfg I’m seeing Black Butler EVERYWHERE now… it’s so weird… 😅😅
Same I just try too lose weight but my depression can’t let me be productive
yea. it sucks
Agreed with both of those statements
@@itsgengreen4683 Same here. So that's why I just started fasting. So far 46 minutes.
Problems are when you have so much self hate that you think its arrogant to compliment yourself or admitting a talent
This is me. This is exactly what I do. You described it perfectly
hits hard when it comes to hair ties on wrist and gum and water 24/7
then it switches to
feeling full after every meal yet still seeking more food
cravings are taking over my mind
then guilt
hurting myself
I never chewed gum to feel full, I would just eat plain unseasoned unsalted baked potatoes to make me feel full but not eat many calories, I slowly decreased the amount of potatoes I’d eat over time and drink diet drinks and water, I cut my feet and then walk nine miles a day so the wounds wouldn’t heal, if I bled through my shoes I’d tell people I just stepped in some glass, eventually I’d go a day or two between meals, I just wanted to die, I didn’t want to live anymore, I broke down completely until there was nothing left of me before I ever tried to get better
I used to smell bananas to decrease my apetite because I read somewhere that It could Help with apetite.
you know it’s bad when you get stressed and anxious and almost cry when realizing your multivitamins have 20 calories
i wish you all the best, take care
i once had a nightmare about my gum actually being 20 calories instead of 5 a stick. i was genuinely scared when i woke up and went to check my gum’s nutritional details. lord save us all
@@breadjustslatheredalloverme i hope the best for you 🤍
i’m so so sorry, i hope it has gotten better
Why y’all care so much about calories
I tend to skip a lot of meals, my parents used to call me chubby when I was younger, it was always a joke, but as I got older I didn’t like it and it made myself feel like I was doing something wrong, so I started skipping meals and now I really thin, and I can’t put on any more weight, and my friends are all worried about me because I skip meals everyday and I’m so thin now, but now I regret it because I don’t like people being worried about me and I never feel good anymore
take care
my science teacher told me that if a human or animal doesn’t eat at all for weeks then the digestive system might start breaking. There will be holes in the the stomach for example. If you eat large meals immediately after then you will just die faster. You can recover by eating liquids then moving onto bigger and bigger meals. DONT WORRY I GET TREATED THE SAME LIKE EXACTLY-
@@LocalLizardFound wow that really helped my anxiety 💀
People often give comments about people without realising how hurtful it might be. I hope you get better soon, just don’t give up and I promise you it will get better. It might take some time but I swear it’s worth it. Remember to take care of yourself and not to blame yourself because it’s not your fault. Ily.💜
My parents do the same thing, but this isnt about me, so go eat a granola bar or some form of nutrients
By this point, I’ve straight up forgotten how to cry..
Literally same
Real
I know this all to well comrade
Literally tho…
Im tired of not being able to show emotions untill I'm alone
Shit man same
Same but I learned crying in front of people is a pick me
@@Aimeeleigh244 well its not always only about crying i just feel like however i emote like laugh too loud or smth im being annoying
@@georgiapanagiotidi2289same. Through, I try to not to cry even when I'm alone.
me too life sucks i got depression from my own brother wich led me to self harming and im only 8
TW: ED VENT
It's been five years, five fucking years that i'm loosing from my life, my youth. It started when i was 12, and it all started with just one phrase i heard from someone really, really important. "you're fat". Ever since i felt so insecure. When i was young, i never cared about what i ate, what i didn't, what i wore, what i didn't. This one phrase changed absolutely everything. I started hating myself and still do till this day. I was big, and small, and big and small again and then smaller, and smaller. I was more cautious about what i ate and how much. And then everyone kept noticin so i continued, so proud of myself. The worst and scariest part is that i can't even remember what happend 5 and 4 years ago. All i remember is just numbers. I'm not even eating food if i do eat something. I'm just eating numbers, constantly counting them, keeping them in my head and the calorie calculator never stops. I can't focus on anything, all i think about is food. What i ate, what i'm going to eat, how am i going to hide food in my room, what excuse i'm gonna use not to eat- i'm so so scared of food. I want to be healthy, i hate anorexia, i hate my eating disorders, i hate it so much it makes me want to cry and scream and yell.
Hey. I can't begin to describe the feeling I get when I read this it makes me want to cry. I know that " I'm so sorry" won't do shit but I am. I know how hard it might be to get help. But if u haven't u need to. It could help. I hope I does. I'm sorry I know this is non of my business. And I'm sorry if I overstepped I didn't mean to. Btw I'm 14 if I said anything wrong pls correct me I'm so sorry is I did.
I truly hope u have a good day but I know it will be hard. Or it's not likely.
Hey! You are an amazing person. I wish you all the best, take care. Please ask for help, open up to someone. I know it's so hard to do, but I know you can. I love you, stay safe ❤️
I know this wont do much, but i rlly hope ur doing better, if u are keep the great work up, if u arent, its ok, completely. I believe in you, you can do it. I just know it.
I don’t completely understand, but I starve myself a LOT haha..
I would get bullied for being fat, and my dad pointed it out once, which made my self esteem slide lower and lower at the age of 7, where pretty much everything in my life had gone out of my control, lol
There was nothing I could do, but control what I could, which was my weight, and my grades. I eat a single meal a day, if even that in fear that I’ll just gain back the weight I’ve been trying to get rid of. I take all my classes from 10 am to a little past 6pm, I try to do better, but looking in the mirror just haunts me every time.
I can’t remember the last time I wore figure-hugging clothing without wanting to change into something bigger because I can actually feel my body and see my unwanted figure in the mirror.
There are a lot of days where I avoid eating all together and just drink water to make myself feel better about my stupid insecurities.
I may not understand 100%, but I know how you feel at least… I’m tired of feeling scared what to eat, or what’s in the food that might make me gain weight, or lying to my mom that I already ate, or thinking of new excuses to tell her why I haven’t ate.
For me, it always feels like if I don’t watch what I eat, keep track of what I eat, or even measure my waist every night, then I’ll go back to square one. That chubby, fat, disgusting little kid that no one wants to hang out with. I started at the same age you did, ironically, and everyone started noticing, saying: “Wow, you’re so skinny!” And I was proud of myself for once in my life.
I started eating less and less and less and now I’m just sick of it. I don’t feel hungry anymore, I don’t have a lot of cravings for food, and I’m not excited anymore when my mom makes my favorite food.
It just looks like more weight for me to gain for the sacrifice of satisfying my tastebuds.
I hope we get out of this together. I’m wasting my teenage years worrying about everything. This is supposedly supposed to be the best times of my life, but I’m having the worst time of my life starving myself and not seeing a reason to get out of bed every morning except for going to class.
If time heals all wounds, then I really, really hope that it heals ours with the right medicine.
Sorry for the vent, haha..
@@Ha-neulie stay safe, i wish you all the best. don't hurt yourself please. take care 💜
"fun" fact: most cis women start getting body insecurities from the age of 6 years old
edit:i meant afabs not cis!
I looked back at my second grade diary the other day and the first page just said “I hate myself and I want to die”
@@roachytoes yeah, insecurities and stuff like that can happen so young, sorta sucks that lots of people think others a dramatic for having insecurities. i love your pfp by the way ash! its non binary flag right?
@@elliotgunton7896 ik it’s so sad how young people get insecurities. And yes my pfp is the non-binary flag lol
I remember being 4 years old and hating how I look
I think cheerleading weigh ins did that for me, we weighed in to see who would be the flyer. 😅
a lot of the songs i can relate to. especially the speech in the beginning. " fat is the first word kids would use to describe, but i didn't take offence, untill i found out i was supposed to." AAAH it hurts how accurate that is. it hit right at home for me..
Exactly! I started starving myself at the age of seven and going on diets because of my family always calling me fat
@@lokiruccast6569 i feel you, just recently i started but broke out of it due to encouargement from me friends on vrc
Same, once my father literally pointed to an obese man and said "Gisele, you are going to look like him if you don't stop eating", the event didnt bother me at the time, but thinking about It now, thats messed up.
As a person who hates their body I can actually agree with all these words that are being told to me. I'm becoming insecure and wanting to end my life line right here and now.
My sister has anorexia, and my entire life I had always been really skinny. As I got to the age of 12 however my parents would get mad at me for not finishing a meals and constantly telling me I need to eat more or else I’m going to be sick like her. This scared me, I tried eating more but my body couldn’t handle it and I’d end up puking it all out, I stayed the same weight for such a long time
in this endless cycle always known as the “skinny girl” and always scolded by my parents that I need to eat more and was even told jokingly that I’d need surgery cause my butt wasn’t big enough or just overall comments that I was too skinny and “needed some meat on my bones”. This made me incredibly insecure and now I had gotten to where when I gain a little bit of weight I’d be overjoyed but then now, they say things like, “you eat too often” and “oh you’re definitely going to be fat when ur older” it’s gotten to the point where I’d proudly eat one minute and then starve myself the next unaware what I should do, and I still don’t. On top of all of this I am trans, ftm to be exact, support if you want and if you don’t I can’t do anything to change that. This caused even more dysphoria and discomfort in my body it feels like I’m falling down a rabbit hole
I am soo sorry you're going through that i hope everything gets better for you!
eating less and eating more is really bad, 12OO calories is usually the best for your body but you should try out whats best for you, and i myself dislike my own body for it being so thin and being fat, my own parents dont support lgbt+ and i myself am bisexual. and have kept it as an secret for years , it does not matter what they think of as long as your happy
TW, ED
im in the same boat bro, im also ftm... and ive always been a bit overweight (im 5,10 and 180 pounds) i dont mean to have thats info trigger anyone but i sufferd from bulimia but stayed the same weight and instead gave myself a super weak stomach to the point i will feel sick and nausous just by eating, this spiraled into anorexia tho and im still struggling, like i won't let myself eat over 1000 cals a day and if i do i try to purge it but cant cause of my history with bulimia that caused me to wear out my gag reflex so much to the point i could only get water out. but i hope things get better for you cause you diserve comfort and love for yourself!
I don't have a skinny body but you're parents are wrong to say smt so rude to you and making you eat, they should've comfort and be there for you not like this.
Im sorry :(
i only feel pretty when im hungry and weak and dizzy and unable to do anything without being nauseous
just when i thought i've recovered from years ago, it turned back and hit me again in the face. 💀
I'm in the same situation sweetiepie. I'm so sorry, I'm 15 and I understand your pain. Please, never give up. Never give in. Fight and continue to fight. Its hard, I know, but we can do this. Whatever you're going through I'm sorry, please hold my hand, we can get through this together!
@@BAK3DBEANS319 i wish you the best! hope we can finally overcome this together :)
Same
(This is a vent)
When I was younger I was bigger. I started to care when I was 6. I started to work out when my dad was at work. I would write down work out routines to do every time my parents weren’t home. They still don’t know to this day. I stopped eating as much and started to sneak into my moms room to use the scale. I also use to make myself suffer in hot outfits so I would sweat.I started losing weight, I was so happy. I thought I had finally b came beautiful. In 5th grade, I was told I would “look better if I put down some pounds” by my crush. That’s when it got the worst. I started eating less, maybe skipping breakfast every so often. Then lunch, and dinner. Started giving out my food to all my friends so they would eat. Continued to use the scale and cry in the mirror. Covered my stomach when sitting, sucking in no matter what I was in, wearing hoodies and bigger clothes, walking around light headed,cry any time I ate. My parents started to complain on how little I was eating but the one time I did my mom told me “stop eating everything I just bought”. I cried and she didn’t even care. Ik I was fat too, everyone always calls me so skinny now and my grandma even use to call me “tubby” bc I was chubby. She told me her self. I hate being picked up bc I feel heavy, I hate bathing suits, I love dresses but always suck in as much as possible when wearing one. I always bring a sweater with me so I have something to cover me. I don’t think I’ve done anything to harmful but I’m still stuck in this stupid mess. I hate every inch of myself.
i get it, my mom and grandma used to throw it in my face when i was fat, it made me so bad
You are perfect the way you are, I hope you are feeling better now.
:( you're pretty the way u are dearr i say to uuu💗
We care about you
I hope that asshole mom of yours gets a comeuppance for what she did to you 😡
It starts with skipping breakfast every few days.Then lunch.Then dinner.Then it’s got you.
Yes it does. I feel very bad for anyone going thru this (im also going through it at age 12.) and i thought it was normal ti skip breakfast cos i woke up late. If anyone is going through this PLEASE take care of yourself❤️
broooo, i started skipping breakfast then lunch and just stopped eating all together
This. I'm 12, and my metabolism is ruined. I stopped eating for days at a time, I lost weight. I was proud of myself, for once. But that never lasted, it never does. I ate lunch. I gained weight. I stopped eating lunch. I lost weight. I started eating this once, and I gained so much weight. Every day I scale myself, and I cry in my room. Because of all the fasting I did I ruined my metabolism, I ruined my body, I ruined myself.
I love the feeling of touching my ribs, the ones that poked out of my body while I laid down to sleep. I miss the feeling where I could barely walk because I wasn't eating. The feeling of hunger, the feeling is starvation. The feeling of satisfaction when I look in the mirror and see my stomach being slimmer. But it it was just a short moment of satisfaction. I am ugly, fat, insecure, and jealous. And I wish I wasn't like this, because it has taken over my life. I care more about my WEIGHT than my grades. Classmates ask me if I'm not eating lunch to lose weight, I lie because they don't need to know the truth.
Maybe I was born like this, maybe I was just meant to be fat.
@@rob_nnzsame.
Welp I just messed up. Those stupid stupid counselors. She said she wouldn’t tell anyone. Yet why did I go home to my mom angry throwing stuff and yelling at me telling me it’s my fault and that she hates me. Wow. The one time I try to open up too.
Update.
Thanks for all the help. While no I did not report her I did manage to convince her to go to therapy so we could grow together. I don’t blame her, my mother, like me, grew up with abusive parents. She only did what she’d been taught, and it’s not her fault. We’ve been a week in therapy and since this week she has had some outbreaks of anger but she’s been a lot more responsible. I can tell she’s trying and that makes me so happy. I think I’m finally on the road to a good relationship with my mom. :)
I'm so sorry this happened, I feel your pain. I told them not to tell my mom because I am afraid of her. Please stay strong hun and know that there are others who care for you
First, im rlly proud of you for opening up, i know how hard it can be sometimes. Second, just wanted to tell you, stay strong, i dont rlly know how it feels, and if i knew, everyone sees it diferently. I rlly hope ur doing better, i believe in you, you got this
That’s horrible. I hope that you’re okay, and I also hope that you feel better. It’s not a bad thing to open up, but sometimes, they’re backstabbers.
I’m so sorry.
God it sucks when people go and mess up the little bit of trust you give them
I’ve listened to this for quite awhile but never commented.
“when I was little, someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up and I said, small”
All of us wider set girls grow up with this subconsciously ingrained in us, or at least I did. Not even fat girls, but taller, broader shoulders, wider built, just larger girls. we all watched such petite, tiny girls be the standard. the envy of all. all the small girls that guys could pick up and put in their pocket. the weak small girl that is perfect.
It’s one of those things that isn’t directly in the forefront of your mind. Just growing somewhere in the subconscious. Growing up, hoping to eventually be that small. Hoping that one day you will wake up and be a size 0 that guys could throw around and finally be wanted.
Then, one day you do, wake up and realize that your shoulders will never reduce. your hips will not deflate. your legs will not get any shorter and you will not shrink 8 inches.
no matter how much weight you lose, your silhouette will never be “small”.
I realized that **dying** to be small is one of the most true unspoken ideals I’ve had since my youth.
Falling in love with this vision of a perfect woman that I could never, ever reach and as a result, having to deal with the self hatred and disappointment of not becoming that every time I caught a glance of myself in a mirror.
Hating your body, not feeling like a woman, not feeling like a human, not feeling normal.
It’s a massive hurtle that has been growing since you just “wanted to be small” when you were small, and no one saying anything. no one telling you otherwise. congratulating you for having such good goals or laughing at the child aspiring to be nothing more than the picture of an “ideal” woman.
I don’t know, maybe no one will read this, or maybe no one will relate to me. If you do relate to this, and somehow found this comment, I just have one thing to say to you.
It is and will be an uphill battle to see ourselves as a beautiful woman or anything but a mistake. It will take a lot to finally see ourselves as someone worth more than just having a “better body”. to open our eyes one day, to wake up, and instead of aspiring to be small, we will desire a meal, a career, a family, or anything in between. we will desire a life, instead of the obsessive modification of our silhouette.
I haven’t made it there yet, but I’m still growing.
Make peace with your younger selves who only saw your appearance and appeal in others eyes, because only once you do that can you begin seeing more.
I love you all, and I believe we can be more than “small”.
The last line in the first song is literally making me have a breakdown on a school night, holy shit my ED is just getting worse by the minute and I am now just realizing it
TW: ED, bullying, grooming
When I was 8 my crush told me I was fat, my groomer called me fat, at 8 I was binge eating and vomiting after. I never saw anything wrong with it, I thought I was loosing weight naturally because vomiting was natural. I was wrong. I’m 15 now and have recovered, it took many years, therapy and kind words. I’ve come to terms with myself. But I know there’s others dealing with this and I want them to know they’re not alone, that they’re amazing the way they are. And you reading this, you’re amazing, an amazing human being.
I'm so proud of you 🤗
omg Yesss! I am so happy now that you know how much you matter to this world. those people don't deserve you!!
You're amazing and thank you for the words
How do you know if someone is a groomer?
@brenda vasquez hey, just so you know, there is no one who is ugly or someone who is beautiful, people are people and someone who is 'beautiful' now could look úgly' in about a few year time, people who discriminate others especially regarding their looks are uglier than they might ever make you out to be.
sending love to everyone struggling, from one person with messed up eating habits to any others. i hope everyone’s doing okay, and if you’re not, please stay safe and remember that you are 100% valid. much love
thank you
Thank you. I’m really struggling with food at the moment so this helps a lot. Thank you so much ❤️🩹
Thank you! I have anorexia and today I ate without being told to! :D
Why did i felt sad when i readed this comment ?
when your own family or your own friends calls you “fat” and says “you have to eat less”, “you’re too fat” hurts different way
btw you are perfect every way, so don’t starve yourself,don’t overthink and focus on yourself …please
That's the way and if people dont like you that's their problem , not yours .
I was binging once and my mom gave me an actually healthy amount of food and Im not mad at her for it cus she was well intentioned and Probably right but jesus Christ it was so shameful
My siblings tell me that and after they say "Come on you know it's a joke !"
@@kys2034I know this comment i 9 months old, but yeah, I know how this shit is. I remember once when I was eating I school and I ate a certain amount of food that was much more than others although not binging and when a girl said: "*my name* eats a lot lmao" omg, I know it wasn't her intention, but omg, I HAVE NEVER FELT SUCH SHAME. And it wasn't such a large amount of food, but just seeing everyone eating less was so embarrassing.
@@HarlequinS1mp My sister once said to me "Shut up your fucking whale", the only thing i could do was going to the bathroom to Just cry and she Said this exact same thing when she opened the door (i was looking at the mirror crying) and Saw me crying.
I’m 12 and I relate to this problem so badly. I always look in the mirror point out my flaws. When I was too skinny I ate too much and got “too fat” and now I’m insecure everyday. Every night, I cannot sleep thinking about how everyone’s life would be so much better if I was dead. I hate people. My sister, dad, and mother are no help. They fucking point out my insecurities everyday. “Your gaining too much weight.” Not only my body am I insecure about it’s my face aswell :( I hate myself because I stand out in a bad way. I wish I could have someone with the same problems and this video made me realize I have people just like me :)
Hey, I hope your doing better now coming from a fellow 13 yr old ;)
Shot-out to my mom and my classmates who have been body shaming me for years
they are dickheads, you're gorgeous and you deserve to hear all their bullshit!! I really wish you the best, bud!! You can get through this, and hopefully, you'll get to be in a nicer environment soon!!
Well I think your gorgeous and if that's how the talk to you then I personally think I'm better than them so trust me.😁😁
shot-out to mine as well
TW: ED VENT
I was chubby when I was younger, my mom disliked how fat I was. She insulted my weight and made fun of me and to this day I can't get those words out of my head. Everyone says small things and it hurts so much. "You look like a whale", "you sure you wanna eat that", "I can't trust you with that food, you might just eat it haha", they all pass it off as a joke, they dont even realize how much if affects the other person. I starve myself then after sometime I won't be able to take it and I'll on a rampage and eat a lot, I'll feel guilty and then vomit it all out, I don't even know myself what this is...I just love food but i hate it so so much.
Hey. I hope you are okay now. If you aren't I hope you get better. You are beautiful no matter your body weight.
The same thing happened to me :/ at least I know I’m not the only one
i too also went through this, still am to this day and i hope that everyone on this side of the internet ends up getting better and that includes you and i
Same thing happened, I just wish parents would take lessons about parenting before becoming one :/ anyways I hope you're doing good now
Same for me
This hits different when even your mom tells you to do a diet 😃👍🏻
Ever since I was a child, I’ve always been told I was skinny and how I looked perfect. Through out my life I’ve even been told to become a model. Im pretty sure this would sound like every person’s dream. But for me it only developed insecurities. Now Im being told that im “built like a twig”. And yet im still being praised for my “beauty”. Present time now and my confidence is just ruined. Im constantly forcing myself to keep my figure. Which has led to starving myself. And for what? Just to keep people happy. Its like I’ve developed this thought that if I was skinny enough, people would like me, people would want to hang out with me. Im still facing this problem. i just want to stop feeling this way but I cant.
when i was 9 i was determined my mother gave up on helping me after multiple promises and failures and then when i was 11 i was 58kg so i only ate 700-800 calories a day and in 5 weeks i dropped to 49kg the smile in me was so wide my mother and i gained a healthy relationship to only gain an ed but the outcome is those 800 calories were always water a fruit and a small piece of oven cooked protein so as i grew older to 13 i eat 900 calories a day and have an eating disorder that is less harder for me to handle like three other.
This is exactly what happend to me people called me pretty because of my weight and told me I should be a model, they even told me to not each much because I might become fat.
This is relatable to me :( i've always been the "overweight" kid when I was younger and I always was called fat and etc :((
I wish you all the best, stay strong
me too..
and now im insecure.
those 'jokes' they made, the ones like "come get it fatty" make me never want to eat again..
even though they said sorry, that doesn't erase what they did, and i will never forget.
happy easter everyone
@@astrus7110 take care, i wish you well💕
Don't listen to people like that. They only wish they were as beautiful/handsome as you
Pls never forget how perfect everyone INCLUDING you is. No matter what you look like
I really hope you guys feel better and I'm telling you ,you are beautiful, your weight is not your worth and I hope you remember that
shout out to my mom who has body shamed me for years, she's always made remarks about how i'd need to lose weight to wear something or how i needed to eat less even when i would eat nothing for days. the one memory that haunts me was when i was around 6-7 and i really needed a new pair of jeans, she came back with sweatpants because "they didn't have my size" they did, she just wanted an excuse to call me fat. it was such a small thing but it hurt so much. all my life she has compared me to my tall, skinny brothers. im average weight and i always had been. shes the one that gave me these issues and all i want is a simple apology for everything, that won't ever happen though. thankfully i have an amazing partner who tries to get me to eat and cares a lot about me, but sometimes i just don't want to eat, i hate eating, i don't want to get better. they're the only reason i'm trying
stay safe, i wish you all the best. please stay strong. take care 💜
Same bestie :'( but I really hope you'll be better. Please, for me. My parents, especially my mom, use to compare me to my oh so athletic brother. She always told me to stop eating, to go do sports but at the same time to study, to lose weight, again and again. And I'm sick of that. I'm suffocating what I'm at home, and stressing at school to maintain my perfect grades. I'm only 12 for God's sake! And I just can't anymore. Istg that if my friends weren't here, I would probably won't either. Anyways, sorry for brotheeing you with that and hope you'll be better soon:')
@@help.5006 take care, i wish you all the best. talk to someone, ask for help if you need it. you matter ❤️
I’m so sorry to hear that. I’m glad your still trying. 💜 Just never give up and everything will be fine, keep fighting for a happy future with your partner. I wish you the best, have a great day!
@@orsolyacsintalan631 thanks but, you know, I think that I was too caught up by my emotions but I think I'm just being a drama queen so don't worry (and sorry for my bad english)
It’s hard for me to explain to an “trusted adult” about what I fell about
As every year comes along..my insecurities gets worser and worser
Whenever I tell people why I cry alone at night they always make me regret it, and that itself is another reason why I regret telling people.
Well, I just want to let you know that you don't have to regret telling me ♥ Some things that help me with that are having a plushie or pillow, anything to cuddle really, and writing in a diary. I'll have you in my prayers and I send my love 💗
Never tell anything to anyone
Same…
I feel like this is the only place I belong where I can actually talk about how I feel
So thank you
if you needa talk im here =)
i’m so sorry. y’all don’t deserve this. society is so sick and twisted. each and every one of you guys deserve three meals a day. you deserve to be kind to yourself. you deserve to eat when you are hungry without punishment. i know it’s so hard. take care of yourselves for me, okay? i’ll be here if anyone wants someone to talk to ❤
thank you ml, this made my day :)
Thanks, I still don't think that I deserve it but maybe one day I will :)
It still helped, really
I know this is kind of late, but could I take you up on that offer? I don’t really trust anyone irl. It’s ok if not. Sorry
@@Unclean4444 you can talk to me if you want to :)
@@Unclean4444 omg of course. whats up?
I cant stop eating, i keep bingeing and i keep getting in trouble for it, i just cant stand the feeling of being hungry i hate it, i try to stop, i try to focus on what im doing but i cant
I struggle with vaping, but a thing as natural as eating, is harder.
Ive never been in such position, and do not know how hard it is, it seems so damn hard. Just know i believe in you, you got this
i believe in you, you got this
I know you got it. You go gurl!
nah vaping is harder to let go. We wont die (fast) when not eating but vaping can cause a somewhat painful death. Its also hard to get rid of. i mean not in the position to say so sorry if i offended y’all 🤷♀️
Eating is much harder than letting go of vaping but you shouldn't feel bad about it, If vaping makes you feel good then keep doing it, your life your rules!
TW I DO NOT CONDONE STARVING YOURSELF!
Fuck it. I’ll eat so much my heart desires and starve all I want. I’m happy as shit. Overjoyed and sleepless. A ball of childlike energy flying around. I feel so sexy. I feel so beautiful. I feel so innocent and small. I feel like a child.
I wish you all the best, take care
@@orsolyacsintalan631 dw im actually doing super great gosh i can run and jump and i never sleep im so full of energy everythings great
@@mizubiart6230 this really doesn't sound healthy.. but if you're truly happy then that's all that matters.
💖💖💖💖💖💖
i love this
“you’ll only be happy if you look a certain way”
(vent)
i’ve been fatter than my friends my whole life, i wouldn’t have realised it if it weren’t for my family that was there to let me know, but uk it was for my best, for health. My grandmother told me when u was playing in the pool that i had stretch marks when i was 9, and told my mom to take care of my diet. One day i was having breakfast and my mom and her told me it was too much, and that i would end up fatter than i already was, and if i didn’t want to be skinny. Obviously i wanted but i was a kid. then appeared the scoliosis, not only i had huge hips at a young age, and every family member pointed it out, now i had one side of the waist thinner. Everything was wrong and still is. My family only seems to care for me when im skinny, and when they see me eat i feel extremely judged. I no longer can eat in front of them. I feel exhausted of this feeling of never being enough since i was 7. Ive always wondered of having a ed, ive tried several times, and i am trying right now, ive realised its the only way to fit in. Its either that of hospitalising myself, i wont never achieve the body that i need. I even harmed myself because of how much i hated myself, but i couldn’t keep going because my mom told me those scars were so ugly, they believed what i told them about how it happened. I just want to get rid of my body.
I feel the same way about the first song except I never became skinny. ED is hard.
Stay safe, I wish you all the best
Im so so sorry for you. I hope you get better, I believe in you. I rlly do. (YOU CAN DO IT
@@lanaplesa9177 Thank you so, so much this means a whole lot to me. Just saying this made me keep trying.
@@blooderror7461 im really glad i could help, even if its just a little bit
Vent 💀
Basically since 2019 I was 9 and weighed myself and I was 98 pounds. I got super insecure and ran to by bedroom and cried myself to sleep. My eating stopped, I would usually only eat a small bowl of cereal each day. I’d be tired and weak throughout the day, causing me to get bad grades. It all kept going down hill. I would tell my parents I ate dinner before they got home from work so I wouldn’t have to eat. For my 10th birthday I ate 2 pieces of chocolate being that I didn’t want to become “overweight” again. I stepped on the scale and it said. 72 pounds. Wtf. I looked down at my chest and I could see the lines of my rib cage bulging out of my chest and my skinny arms. I looked like a stick figure. I’m 12 now and I’m slowly recovering. ❤️
im glad you're trying to recover. having an ed (especially at a young age) its really hard. i wish you the best!
I'm very glad your recovery, im twelve too but i still am not happy about myself =(
Good for u though
Damn...only 12 years old...? How heartbrealing that people that young are hating their body... You're life just started and you're a gorgeous person...dont let anyone tell you otherwise
I'm so proud of you I hope you get better :)
im so proud of you! keep going love!! 💗💗
This is a vent!
I'm so insecure about myself... I hate my body... My face, my hair, my mouth, and nose, I hate my body....
I don't like how I look... People tell me "oh there's nothing wrong with your body"
Or "you look fine the way you are! "
But I feel like sometimes they are just trying to make me feel... Better about myself.... But no it doesn't help... I still don't like how I look... My body looks weird to me.... When I look at my friends
I feel like they look way better than I do.... And I just look at myself and think " I wish I looked like that"
That feeling of being numb to the point you cant cry eat or even sleep>>>
I hate being at the point where I'm neutral about my body. I know it's progress, but its so annoying when the old thoughts come back. I want to buy a bikini and force myself out of comfort zone, so I can convince myself "hey look at you. You're gorgeous!" The only thing that's stopping me is the fear that others will not let me because they don't think it would look good on me or that I'll put it on and they'll not see me the way I do.
LISTEN TO ME, DO WHATEVER MAKES YOU HAPPY, IF OTHER DON'T LIKE IT SCREW THEM, YOU'RE PERFECT JUST THE WAY YOU ARE. YOU ARE GORGEOUS!!!! love you ❤️❤️ (Platonically) now go get that bikini, if you haven't already!!
i’m so so proud of you for coming this far hun, i hope you’ve been doing better lately
I don't know who needs to hear this, but this kind of skinny is NOT healthy. It is not good for you, it only affects how people treat you. Ignore their judgemental words and glares, love yourself for who you are and I promise you will feel 10x better about yourself. Self love is not an overnight thing, it takes time.
you have no idea how much this means to me, thank you so much.
the thing i hate is that people get bodyshamed before and after and no one ever realizes before its too late
I know, but it’s just so hard. Once I start eating, I can’t stop, because I’m so hungry. So if I don’t eat at all, I won’t have to worry about stopping. I hate being fat. I just want to be pretty and skinny.
I can't eat, but thankyou🥺
It hurts when you have to silently cry
Dang, this makes me cry. I remember when I thought that I'm fat. Even though I'm skinny, I always cried and thought I'm fatty. Parents always said my body is more than good, but my panic attacks on those moments just got me go more mad. I'm over it now, but sometimes I think about those days. We all need to be proud of our bodies.
Stay safe
Im rlly and truly proud of you, i know how hard it can be sometimes to get over it. Its really hard. Im so proud of you. Keep awsome work up
nothing helps me.. even if i try to stay positive it doesnt work etheir way..
@@Nicko-ji6gzhey! you are an amazing person, please stay strong. you matter, take care 💜
@@Nicko-ji6gz the best medecine that you can get is support of your parents or friends. Sorry for so small advise but I think it would help you. So you need to find some support. Remember, nobody's perfect, and nobody needs to be perfect. But we are all beautiful in our way.
My mom literally knows I’m anorexic and mocks me for it. She says things like: “come on, finish eating, you can puke it later” or “you can’t have pizza, but you can get Diet Coke, see this place anorexic friendly” it bothers me so much, I wish she could just acknowledge she messed me up and has to pay for it
I'm so sorry to hears that, your mom is really mean, she shouldn't say that to you. I'm sure your really beautiful
You should tell your mom she is a terrible person! And when she denies it tell her that she should experience what she put you through
Omfg. Why tf would she say that shit? Manual illnesses are serious. You are beautiful. You will beat anorexia one day ✨💖
@@Jaelynnlr4 I agree withthis user! Anorexia is not something to joke about, its constant days of looking at yourself in the mirror and not being able to finish breakfast.
i didn’t mean to reply to the comment, sorry
i hate being overweight but
you made me a bit better abt myself💓
I saw the viewer discussion warning and hotline number and knew this playlist was for me ❤
TW: Mentions of SH
I promised my friend I would stop doing SH but I just can't it's not that easy and now I feel guilty every time I SH because I always think of what I said instead of feeling relief and it's driving me absolutely insane and I also been noticing that every time I look in a mirror without my mask on I look uglier in my vision.
stay safe, i wish you well
Maybe not promise it and just say you will cut down on the SH since it is hard to just go completely normal after doing it for a while. You got this just remember that you have to not do it too much. Set goals so you can make it easier ! You got this 👍👏
@@LocalLizardFound it sadly doesn't work like that.. it makes it worse sometimes...
u can do it. never give up. even after a relapse it doesn't mean u start from the beginning. keep going. start from where u were before and keep on going. i believe u can make it through this tough time. the struggle gets better. everything gets better. u matter so much. never forget how much u mean to this world. it takes so much grit to get through this. u are doing the best u can. i believe u can do it!!
U will actually never know how well I understand you. I failed so many times, sometimes I still think about SH. It won't go away. I know how it is when everything you try to stop is not working. I know how it is just wanting everyone stop carrying about this. Don't promise for anyone to stop this, do it for yourself. For now, just do your minimum to survive, don't try to hard. Even if it means not going out of your room for ages, not cleaning or taking a bath. U need a break, u have to understand that. I know it is hard, but I believe you can do it! I believe in u! And in your will to make a change!
Vent!!
I feel like no one will ever love me unless I’m skinny. I cry after I eat because then I know I will never get to be like all the pretty girls. I know all the risks and yet I still want to take them just to be pretty, my parents who are also overweight are commenting on my shape, people don’t like me because of my body, yet when I see other girls even if they are the similar body type to me, are popular and everyone loves them for who they are. And then I see all the skinny girls commenting on all their flaws, and talk about how they look fat, in front of me and even look at me about it like they want a reaction out of me.
Hey! You are a wonderful person. Don't hurt yourself, please stay strong. You matter. I wish you well, take care💜
being skinny shouldnt be so idiolized i lost 10kg to ed and now that im "skinny " all i feel is empty anf regretful and alot of people are worried about me now when i see a healthty,fat,chubby person i envy them plz dond ever skip a meal eat well theres noyhong about beong skinnt that feels good you have sm more of yourslef ti love when you have more wieght
@@hamdahnadeem9234 take care, i wish you all the best
We will get through it 🫶🏻
being skinny, overweight or healthy isnt exactly the thing that you need to change to feel satisfied with yourself its the mindset having a mindset that's obsessed with weight and looks is really hard, I know its hard to change your mindset, but just try to get out before you're in too deep In the ed and body dysmorphia mindset and also if you're in too deep still try it would be worth the pain, try to find yourself and love the person you're. and if the problem is with the ppl you're around cut them out, you're strong and i hope you find a way to love yourself
"Not obsessed with being empty but afraid of being full" I relate to this line far mare than I should
Here now purposely triggering my ED that I've worked so hard to recover from. Reason : I weighed myself today after 3 years of recovery to discover I'm 215lbs. I feel like I could die. I looked in the mirror and the old me creeped out to say she'd save me again and make me small once more. I agreed. So here we go again on this thankless journey. I'm 21 ill be 22 in 2 months. I thought I'd be better by now but I don't think I'll ever be better.
TW: DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY, ED
My parents told me "Lose weight" so many times because I talked about my body issues and they just told me to "journal it" about my depression and anxiety, they didn't try to help emotionally. I felt so tired, I hate my body and I wish I was blue eyed Blondie perfect body, but I'm not her. I used to be annorexic
No need too hate your body, every body is beautiful in their own way and I'm telling yours is too , your parents don't know what their talking about, no need to lose weight it doesn't change u as a person
you are perfect ml
Hey too anyone struggling but feeling like your just faking it, here's something I heard ages ago that might help:
If your doing it when nobody else is around, you're not faking it
…..And even if you’re doing it when only other people are around, that doesn’t mean that nothing is wrong, if you feel like you need help, seek out help, don’t let anyone or anything stop you from getting help is you want to, not even yourself
"If they knew what they said would go straight to my head what would they say instead?"
ed(?) vent
today is the one of the first days that has really gotten me worried bc i couldn’t get or even allow myself to eat like i was afraid that i’d put my progress back if i took a bite of food. i ended up eating at 9pm but even then i can’t help but feel guilty and gross for simply feeding myself
tw: ed/attempted unalive (?)
it started when i was 12, going onto 13. it was my birthday. a night with cake and sugary sweets and birthday tweets from my family. i invited my classmates. one of them looked at me and said; "you're eating all that cake? you're parents must feel like they're feeding a whale."
that's when it started. i always thought "oh, I'm just dieting, I'm trying to lose weight."
years passed and I've gained at least 3 more pounds. i thought "when will this ever end. i feel like a burden to everyone." everyone in my school was wearing clothes so effortlessly because they sad small waists and tiny chests and flat stomachs and slim thighs and slim arms. and me? well, i certainly wasn't all that. i had chubby arms and legs, a stomach that was bloated 24/7, and a chest size far too big for my age.
every passing second i would worry about what i ate, when i ate, and how much i ate. it was tearing me apart everyday. i used to not eat for 3 days straight, go on fad diets, and have a specific amount of calories i should be consuming and worst of all, i would hurt myself for it, as if I'm punishing myself.
i never thought I'll be like my friends or family. they all look so skinny and fragile. i wish that was me.
take care, i wish you all the best. please don't hurt yourself 💜
I can’t wait to just randomly pull out my phone and start jamming to the music lol
Every time I read vents I always relapse, but I can’t stop. I’m to competitive.
You know it’s bad when even the slightest bit of stress makes you puke up the last three days worth of meals. Thanks for making this, it’s great to feel understood.🖤
Im just crying all night bcuse of this disgusting body. My friends and my family dont understand me they says "you are skinny" no im not.. Im not skinny. Im fatter than other childs im fatter than my friends.. i cant eat in the school bcuse im shy of this body. Im just tired of this body
I understand what you want to say when people who are thinner Then you tell you that you are Not "fat" then you will be angry or sad.
But remember even of you are "fat" you are still beautiful.
You can still be beautiful and Not fit the beauty standard.
And i know im Just a random Person in the Internet But i was and still am in that Same Situation where im the biggest in my friend group and i can Tell you that it will get better at Some Point.
So plss dont do anything to you or your Body that is Bad in any way cause that is another Thing you will regret.
(Sry that this is so kinda long and weird Written But I'm not very good at expressing myself)
@@xx_jana_xx1359 tysm
i understand this more than anything..
i am so sorry.. and ik, ik it wont do anything. but i truly am. there have been too many nights where i cry myself to sleep bc im not as pretty as my friends, or my classmates, or my expectations.
i highly suggest a therapist, even if its one that you just call. you dont have to go and see them.
and you are beautiful
People say I’m skinny, but why do I still have that flab on my stomach? Why do my thighs bulge when I sit down? I’m not skinny
@@lizzy4013 everybody has those dear, doesnt make you more fat or more skinner then you are, your not fat you beautiful please remember that
TW: VENT
For the past...5 months. I go to school and I hear every, single, day: "Go kill yourself. GO break your legs, go...jump off a bridge" from a person I used to think of as a friend. I get called "Fat" "Short" "Marshmallow" and I am so sick of this bullshit! I try to distract myself with the few friends I have but when it gets to the point most of them aren't very friendly. I stay awake at night and look up ways on how to be skinnier but I never try because I feel like no matter what I look like people will always find a way to make you feel like you don't matter. Sometimes I feel like If I were to die nobody would care, and I just want some closure because I'm getting more violent and every time I even mention it to my Mom her only response is "It's your period, calm down." Like it's some kind of fucking joke and she says that I'm lucky but how could THIS be lucky?!?! How...am I lucky?
I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. Please stay strong, I wish you all the best. Take care💜
100 reasons to stay alive:
1. The salty smell and calming sound of the beach
2. You would hurt a lot people that love you more than life itself
3. Hot chocolate on cold winter days
4. Your moms smile
5. Your best friends laugh
6. Your little cousins, nieces, and nephews that look up to you
7. The feeling of the sun against your face
8. Hearing the words “I love you”
9. Not being able to sleep/the feeling you get the night before a holiday
10. Birthdays
11. Quiet late night drives
12. Missed opportunities and adventures
13. The feeling of lying in bed after a long day
14. Long hot showers
15. Music that you connect with
16. You have a purpose
17. You can change somebody’s life
18. Snowball fights
19. Concerts
20. Watching people fall
21. As long as you heart is beating, there is hope
22. You will regret dying
23. Your dreams
24. Marriage
25. You are enough
26. Pain is only temporary
27. Late night food runs with your friends
28. The sound of rain
29. Reading powerful quotes
30. Eating your favorite foods
31. Stars
32. Good movies
33. Having children
34. Staring at clouds and finding pictures within them
35. Meeting new people
36. Your struggle will make you stronger
37. You have a lot of people that love and support you
38. Being able to say, “I made it”
39. Genuine smiles
40. Bonfires
41. You matter
42. Time heals most wounds
43. Your first apartment/house
44. The crunch of leaves in the fall
45. Finding your soul mate
46. Meaningful hugs
47. Being in/attending someone’s wedding
48. You are worth it
49. Sunday night football
50. The smell of Christmas trees
51. People care about you; lots of them in fact
52. Sunsets
53. Ice cream
54. You are brave
55. Things really do get better
56. Dogs
57. Cats
58. Pets in general
59. Rainbows
60. You are amazing
61. The city
62. Travelling
63. Vacations
64. Road trips
65. Hearing awesome stories
66. Inside jokes
67. Coffee
68. Snowmen
69. Your talents
70. You’ll disappoint the people that love you by letting your illness win
71. The feeling of pure joy/happiness
72. You will be happy one day
73. All-nighters with your friends
74. Cuddling
75. Reunions with your friends/high school/college
76. Re-connecting with someone you haven’t talked to in years
77. Smiling
78. Seeing someone else smile
79. You are beautiful
80. Decorating you house/apartment
81. Capturing perfect moments on camera
82. You would be missed
83. Quiet bookstores/small restaurants
84. Your favorite hobby
85. Swimming on a hot day
86. Being cozied up with blankets
87. Feeling refreshed after a nice nap
88. Helping other people
89. Watching the people you love become successful
90. Becoming successful yourself
91. Babies/little kids
92. Cute old people
93. Love stories
94. You are strong
95. You will be proud that you continued to live
96. The feeling of grass under your feet
97. Telling crazy stories
98. The smell of rain
99. Watching lightning
100. YOU ARE LOVED❤️
Hmm...Is there any other person you feel like you can talk to about your issues other than your mom? Another relative, like a grandparent or aunt/uncle, a really close friend, a teacher you really like or a guidance counselor?
i really hope things get better for you :( remember that even if you think no one cares, and even if im just a random stranger on the internet who probably lives on the other side of the world, i would be very sad if you die, so dont you even dare
you've made it so far, love. i'm so proud of you. please know there is hope. you've made it so, so far. i promise you, you'll make it through this.
when the first few words of this comforts you, the first few words to every song, the fact that drinking water on an empty stomach comforts us.
"Like breakfast feels like giving up" any kind of food feels like giving up❤ 🙃
OMG YESSS U PUT “I deserve to bleed”
I relate to these so much :>
I’m anorexic and ate today without being told to :D
im so proud of you!!
@@cr_rybaby1 awe tysm
Im so proud of you king/queen! I hope it gets better for you!!!❤️❤️❤️
Well done!! I'm so proud of u gal!!!!
Congrats!! That’s so good!! You can do this, we all believe in you! ❤️
I’ll eat food and then later think to myself “wow I’m so fat I eat all the time maybe I should cut of the food for a while so I can be skinny” and what hurts most is when my little sister once asked me if I was pregnant and when my parents sometimes say “why do you eat so much???”
don't give up, please stay strong. i wish you all the best, please don't hurt yourself
You should eat how much your comfortable with if people say your eating to much doesn't mean you should reduce it , your not fat and being thinner won't make you feel any better you'll face alot of regret and wish you didn't fall down this path, please be strong and remember you aren't fat your beautiful
@@ihasnoname676 thanks :)
@@_orsi_ thank you
Dude I was walking into school when I started to listen to this and I swear to god I died inside. I was listing to the first part of it and I was like 🫨 crap my life in a nut shell
Dammit, i'm listening to this playlist trying to distract myself to not sh. I already thought I was ok...
Tw: Ed and sh mention
I have started to lose weight at a quicker rate than I expected and it's the fact that my family is just saying "You lost a lot of weight, you look so good" and honestly it feels so good and I am just scared of gaining more and I hate it. It's gotten worse. My sh has gotten worse. It's hard to break the cycle when you find comfort in the illness
I send a million hugs your way ☺
I'll be crying to this thank you
You matter my lovely
ur amazing. be proud of urself
same bro, but remember that you are amazing😘
After covid,its been 2 yrs that i completely didn't saw my face to any of my friends and one day my classmate suddenly came to my house to take my notebook ....i had to go meet her...and i felt comfortable for her to see my face and we bid byes until next day when we met at school she laughed and told me how the first thing she noticed about my face was my big fat nose....it has always been like this i have always been bullied about my nose..and i will never forget the things they said,everyone said about me..i hate me..the way i look iam so ugly i will never be beautiful
Darling it’s a nose. why does mater that your nose isnt the same as everyone else's. if you can breath through it than its just how it was meant to be.
"If you're not recovering, you're dying"
VENt:
I' ve been overweight all my life and I hated my fat body so much. When I first started school, I was really excited and expecting to have friends I can play with, but reality is harsh instead I was bullied all my life in school, outside and even at home for being fat. Instead of trying to lose weight like what almost all people kept telling me as they laugh at my body, I instead kept eating even when I am full. As I reach my adolescenes, I have 0 friends as I already kept being betrayed, I began to trust no one.
My stress and anxiety became worse. I was stressed at school and I kept overthinking of the embarrasing things I did there Like shaking in front of my classmates as i present in front of them. At night I would cry thinking how much they must have think how pathetic I Am.
I was stressed at home, As my mother never comes home due to work and now I had to take care of the house and my Autistic brother. I dont know how to stop my brother from his tantrums (In which can physically hurt us at times and himself). Even my cooking is being insulted that I became afraid of people visiting our house whenever I was cooking.
I am mentally exhausted that the only thing I can do is Cut myself and overeat because of that I became obese at 17 and my health grew worse. Everytime I get stressed, my stomache hurts so much at night that the only thing I can do is cry silently with the pain.
i'm so sorry that you've been through this. please stay strong, don't hurt yourself. talk to someone, ask for help if you need it. i hope the best for you, take care. you matter 💜
oh honey... im so sorry that you have to feel like this.. it made me cry haha. i wish i could hug you right now and eat trh food you cook and help with your brother and be your friend. tbh i would use a friend too.. i wish you the absolute best, stay strong!
hi. im not anorexic, but I wish the best of luck in terms of staying healthy to anyone who reads this. you're worth self love and good health
Thank you ♡ :D
thank you
I just want to say, you my love are beautiful! have a good life!
"loving the feeling of water slipping into the well of my stomach" is really relatable :(
I remember when I was small, young, innoncent, only scars were from dogs jumping on me, but now, they are from more things, cats, dogs, and myself...
TW ED
"Oh, I'm not hungry." (lie)
"I just ate, haha, I'm okay." (lie)
"I'll eat later." (lie)
I'm a healthy BMI. I've always been-- I used to be a scrawny kid so when I gained (healthy) weight in high school, I hated myself. I wanted a flat stomach. I wanted abs. I worked out at 1am every night until I cried. I refused to eat but didn't have the choice to eat or not at home so slowly yet surely convinced everyone in my family that "I'm just never hungry, haha. I guess I've got a small stomach." They believed me after a few months. They didn't find it weird for me to eat so little.
Today my dad came to my room before going to work and said, "Hey I put some pizza and potato wedges in the toasted oven. Grab some potato wedges, I put in two pizza slices for you :D" (we don't usually eat pizza so he was excited that we'd get some of the leftovers from last night)
"Oh--no, put one in. I'm not hungry," I said with a smile.
He frowned at me. He looked me dead in the eye and said, "You know.. it's okay to eat. You're a healthy weight and you need food. It's okay. Don't be going hungry."
"I know, Papa. I'm just not hungry," I told him.
"Okay, then.." he said with a sigh and went off to work. When I tell you I cried so hard after he left.
He's the only one who noticed. He's the only one who has ever brought it up. I felt so seen. So cared about. Damn I'm crying writing this now lol. It meant so much. It just meant so much.
hi, thank you so much for sharing! (I cried a little :'). Please remember that you're important! I know that we're both strangers on the internet, but I just wanted you to know that I CARE ABOUT YOU! Stay strong and please know that it's okay to ask for help if you need it
Thanks for sharing you are a wonderful person and If you need someone talk to me
are still suffering from this?
Dang I could tell their was a problem just when I read “I’m a healthy BMI” because I didn’t even know what that was until now.
@@kymberlioswald5086 I am,
Can't remember when was the last time I took a look at myself in the mirror, but I remember I cried so hard then. I'm struggling with gender dysphoria and so many insecurities I can't even count them down, I just feel so fuckin terrible
I send my love to you💗
Just a reminder to anyone who is who doesn’t have the “pretty” body type, I have that body and still feel insecure, don’t compare yourself to other people with “ perfect” body types
I am only 11, yet this is the most relatable thing i have ever heard. It is hard being overweight in a school being surrounded by skinny, pretty, girls. I dont even like how my face looks, It just is not fair, i dont like living. but i just live because im scared of how much it will hurt to die. i want to die because im scared of not being "perfect". So... Yea. Thats my vent, I hope i actually am the only one who feels this, because i dont think people should feel this type of stress and pain. Welp, if anyone is i hope you can get better from whatever you are feeling, that inculdes anyone else who feels something even related to this. its not okay for you as a human being to feel like this. just know, there are people in this world who love you, including me
Oh honey you’re so young, and I am so sorry that you feel like this. Please remember that you’re perfect no matter what you look like. I know it’s hard to believe but please trust me. Maybe try to occupy your time doing something you enjoy and please take care of yourself 🫶🏻🫶🏻
@@stefansalvatore7576 ok thank you
aaaaaah im so sorry, im 13 and i had the EXACT same thoughts at 11 :,) ,its extremely important to not stress about this when you are so young or it will consume you
@@daoibear i just think i have social anxiety bc of popular people looking at me and laughing for no exact reason-
its 4 am. i just finished watching tiktok filled with pretty girl with skinny waist and wearing fashionable clothes and i am jealous of them. I am jealous that they get to wear pretty clothing while everything i wear looks ugly on me. I hate it. I relapsed again after 2 months clean because of how overwhelmed i am with my stupid body. my sister is skinny and she is anorexic and i am so jealous of her because she can handle her hunger by not eating for days and only eat instant noodles or snacks when shes hungry. she only eats food when she really craves for it and i am jealous of her for that. i cant do that shit. i have to eat heavy food to fill my stupid fat stomach or otherwise i'll be grumpy and be a nuisance to everyone. I hate it. I know that me and my sister is fucked up and its unhealthy for both of us. I am 109 kg while she is 53kg and she wants to be at least 40 kg. and whenever she complains that shes getting fat, it made my blood boils since i want to be her so bad but i will never be like her. my grandma only praises her and called me fat and saying that i gained weight. I AM GAINING WEIGHT AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE. I CANT EXERCISE BECAUSE IM A NIGHT OWL AND I HATE EXERCISING AT EVENING SINCE ITS HOT OUTSIDE. I DONT WANNA DANCE OR DO ZUMBA BECAUSE I HATE DANCING AND MY BOOBS HURT WHENEVER I JUMP. I CANT DO DIETS BECAUSE IM A PICKY EATER AND ONLY EATS WESTERN FOOD MOST OF THE TIME. I HATE IT. i just want to be skinny and pretty effortlessly. my face is full of acne and i dont do skinccare because im a lazy asshole who can only cry and complain. i hate it when skinny people complains that they're fat. I HATE IT WHEN MY EX FRIENDS DID THAT. sure they can be insecure BUT HAVE THEY THOUGHT OF MY INSECURITY? I MAY JOKE ON HOW FAT I AM BUT MOST OF THE TIME I FEEL LIKE CRYING. skinny people have it easy while fat people had to struggle searching for pretty clothes that fit their size but SKINNY PEOPLE HAD THE AUDACITY TO TAKE PLUS SIZE CLOTHINGS AND TOLD US FAT PEOPLE TO SEARCH ONLINE. WE DID. AND NONE OF THE SIZE FITS US PERFECTLY. AND MOST OF THE PLUS SIZE FASHION THEY SHOW EITHER SLIM MODELS OR CURVY MODELS BUT NEVER THE ACTUAL FAT CHUBBY MODELS. i hate when skinny people think that they're overweight and ugly when in reality they're the beauty standard. i hate it.
i have more to say but i think i vented way too much. so maybe that is all from me for now.
As someone whose skinny, I’m only like this because I had an ED from the age of like 5 or some shit like that I don’t even remember anymore it’s all just a blur but it’s horrible because I have gotten made fun of for being skinny and told by everyone to gain weight and made fun of because I looked like a twig. And so I gained weight, now I’m pretty average. I’m still kinda under weight but I feel fat the second I see the slightest bit of stomach fat due to the fact that I could literally see my whole rib cage as a child like it was really unhealthy but I loved being that way. I’m so close to just not eating again but I’m not sure I could take it. Anyways that’s besides the point. But we feel fat because society tells us to gain weight and when we do it’s not normal to us so we feel overweight.
Ok, u made me cry. You are just like me, but I developed the so wished anorexia and just for u to know, your self image will not get better when u get skinnier. Self experience
Holy shit the first song made me cry, im just so happy to not be in that hole of ed, im so sorry for anyone who is still struggling please know that we all wish you the best, i know you can overcome this disorder, you are more than a number on a scale
Thank you for that, this made me so happy ❤️
- A person with an ED (me)
I feel like I'm starting to feel the same way again, I need help but nobody understand why I'm so ashamed of my body...
I’m so tired of having to act like I’m no longer hungry, but it’s the only way