Mao's Last Dancer and wife Mary Li on raising their deaf daughter, Sophie | Australian Story
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- Опубликовано: 11 апр 2021
- When the daughter of Mao’s Last Dancer Li Cunxin was diagnosed as profoundly deaf, his wife made an enormous sacrifice. Subscribe: bit.ly/3l7kXcR
Mary Li gave up her international ballet career to devote herself to teaching Sophie to hear and speak by way of cochlear implants.
But when Sophie became an adult, she began to question her parents’ earlier decisions.
As she embraced the deaf and signing community, Sophie had a choice to make - did she still want to be part of the hearing world of her family?
Read more: ab.co/3dYVYnu
#AustralianStory #MaosLastDancer #RaisingDeafKids
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About Australian Story: Putting the "real" back into reality television, Australian Story is an award-winning documentary series with no narrator and no agendas - just authentic stories told entirely in people's own words. Take 30 minutes to immerse yourself in the life of an extraordinary Australian. They're sometimes high profile, sometimes controversial, but always compelling. It’s television guaranteed to make you think and feel. New episodes are available every Monday.
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YT suggested this vid and glad they did. Really beautiful and full circle.
It's so touching to see how much her parents love her.
Absolutely one of the most heartwarming tributes to a familys love and dedication
OMG, I remember crying after reading the book “Mao’s last dancer”, and it’s so good to hear about him again after many years. Wishing all the best for him.
You should read Mary's last dance as well. It brings the story full circle and reduced me to tears
I could say in our country never could happened such education and help for such kind of children.
What a beautiful, inspiring story of art, ballet, family, sacrifice, and family reunion! Thank you so much!
I just can’t get over the love that jumps of the screen, such beautiful loving parents
I have a sister who is profoundly deaf and I'm doing a masters in speech pathology. Thank you so much for sharing your story, it inspires me to continue to work as hard as I can.
How wonderful to read that their experience can probably help you.
I am deaf myself with cochlear implant. I relate to her story. It good to start young to speak so you can have better speech development. Sign language can be learned later on. Because you have to train your brain to listen and speak. Sign language is very visual and quickly to adapt. Learning to speak will be harder if you decided to speak when you get older. Now Sophie got the best of two worlds.
Science doesn’t support your facts
No reason why a deaf child can't learn Sign language AND speech. The comment that was made in the video that doctors recommended the oral method because if you teach the child sign, they will not speak and/or lose/stop speaking- is a total myth. The fact that was still happening in 1989 (and even today in 2021...) is frustrating. I am Deaf- I grew up oral aka mainstreamed- hearing aids- speech therapy. And no other deaf kids around other than the several pre-K programs (all oral) I was in. I went to Gallaudet- and learned sign (American Sign Language) and found myself to be more at ease than I had ever been before.
I met many different deaf- Profoundly deaf who had good speech AND great ASL skills. Moderately deaf whose speech was not the best in the world and harder to understand and great ASL. And those of us who learned ASL later- most of the friends I knew didn't stop speaking. And while yes sign language is a visual language I met quite a few people who had a HARD time adapting/learning- so it wasn't and isn't very quickly! Took me a few years to be semi fluent (and sadly I'm rusty now :( ).
As Mary stated in the video- Access to language happens between the ages of 1 and 5 (and even before age 1)- focusing on oral/speech the child still misses A LOT (as an adult - I'm 56- I still do and still struggle badly in the hearing world no matter HOW good my hearing and speech are). Offering both fills in all the blanks. Oh yes... lipreading... most of the time you can only get about 30%; rarely does anyone get more than 50% by lipreading.
I'm not deaf, but I was thinking the same thing. I'm glad Sophie can do both.
I remember Li during his time in Houston, and he was wonderful to watch.
You are correct. Some Deaf adults have gotten CIs---mainly for safety. They can hear traffic and hear their babies crying. But most of them don't speak. Older kids get them and don't speak clearly. The younger, the better, if being part of the hearing world is what you want for your child. know 2 girls who were born deaf. The elder sister got her CI when she was about 7; the other as an infant. The elder sister speaks well, but her speech is definitely that of a Deaf person. The younger sister speaks perfectly unless you notice the CI, you would never know! The brain of an infant is extremely pliable and makes all kinds of new pathways. With all the advancements in AI, science has proved that you can integrate the human brain with computers and make them seamless. You can always learn sign language. But if you don't learn speaking early on, your life choices will be very, very limited. Yes, there you can have a career and a successful life---but most people in the world are hearing, and the majority of jobs require the ability to communicate with speech. Sophie's parents gave her the best gifts---love and the ability to communicate beautifully with everyone in the English-speaking world. I know a Deaf girl (w/ a CI) who speaks both English and German beautifully. She does sign. But she is married to a hearing husband and has hearing children. So I know that she is very happy about her parents' choices.
I wonder how painful having cochlea implant?
Only parents can feel, appreciate and understand the depth of this love. In a world so broken, dejected and lacking in loving communication, Mary&Li, you have passed with flying colors. I salute you both! God Bless you and your family, victoriously!
I read Li's book after I heard him speak at a corporate function in about 2003. What an incredible life he and his family have led. I'm glad Sophie has explored her deaf identity and now moves between the deaf and hearing worlds as she sees fit 😊
I'm from Malaysia. I chanced upon this video. It's really inspiring and adds one more notch to understanding my Deaf wife who can speak as well as sign. I sign too after going for courses. We struggled during our courting days because I had no inkling what it's like to be part of a Deaf community. So, I let down my guard to learn the rules of being Deaf. Today we still have our little arguments because I have no patience (:-P) but we are getting along just fine communicating. I interpret for her when she can't hear others so we do help each other this way. I hope to be a fully-fledged interpreter one day. She did ask once howI would feel if we ever have a Deaf child together. I said it'll be okay. I've come a long way. And... gues what I have many more friends in the Deaf world now , not only here in Malaysia but across the world because of my wife who took in upon herself to attend world Deaf conferences one of which I was a part ot and we made friends that way. Also, through The Catholic World Youth Day, she made friends from around the world whom I got to know> Amazing! She's been to countries I can only dream of like Italy, China etc. That's my wonderful and understanding Deaf wife! I will not have it any other way... God bless all of you!
First Li you'd journey must have been more than more westerners would comprehend. Amazing that you have danced loved and raised a beautiful family. Mary your selfless act as a Mother to ensure your beautiful daughter would do the best she could. Hindsight is a nice thing but as parents you gave it your All. As for Sophie you were given the best that your parents were able to give you with love. You now have carried forward the choices of your decisions bravely. Your siblings have also been heros in the story.
I am moved by you all with love from across the ditch your Kiwi "cousin"❤❤❤❤❤
I applaud the mom for her greatest love and sacrifices for her daughter( from a mother’s perspective). She did what she thought was best for Sophia. I hope she’ll understand someday the sacrifices of hard work and tears mum has done for her. I think she will when she becomes a parent herself! I’m happy they reconciled. I’m proud of the dad’s response, especially coming from a Chinese culture. He just love both of them so much you could tell❤️
Wish them the very best👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
09
The fact that Sophie could speak like a normal person is incredible!
The fact Sophie could speak 'with the hearing community' is incredible. Able bodied people aren't the "normal" ones.
That is all thanks to her mum and dad. What a sacrifice..
It must've hurt her mum so bad when Sophie took out the cochlear implants. But I guess it goes to show that you can't fully control your childs thoughts, destiny or future. They have to decide for themselves eventually. All you can do as parents is to provide support and any guidance. But don't close them off to worlds that you may not fully understand, as it could actually be better for the kids when they are growing up. Her parents had a clear bias against the deaf community. But if only they stopped and realise that sign language is the default language for deaf people, simply because it is so much easier for them to communicate with one another.
If only Sophie knew about this much earlier, she may have enjoyed her time growing up much better.
Your comment suggests that Sophie is not a "normal person." She's a normal person who is deaf.
I know a young lady with an implant and you wouldn't know she has one unless she tells you. She had the implant put in as a toddler, 13 months. She speaks perfectly and hears perfectly, the implant technology is improved compared to the time the young lady in the video had hers implanted.
I don't think her parents were biased against the deaf community, I think they were just trying to do what was they thought was best. They were trying to give her the best possible future. But hind sight is 20/20. You don't know when you have not yet experienced. But the bottom line is the outcome. Look how everything turned out. Yes it was a rough road, but look at what an incredible young woman they raised! And as much the truth hurt, they listened to her needs in the end and accepted and supported her . I think she really benefited from having both sides in the end. Life is soooo difficult especially for people with different needs, but our pain, when looked at correctly and with support from others, helps us come out stronger. Then we can learn and help and inspire others just as they have with their painful and beautifully honest story. Being a mom of a special needs child, you feel lost and not sure what to do. You've no experience with what this new thing is and you can let it overcome you or research and get in there to help your child be the best they can be. And that's what a parent should do. I think her parents were wonderful even though they made mistakes. We all do. And I think their daughter is a very strong and beautiful woman. 💕💕💕
What a beautiful family story, I hope for all days they are blessed and happy.
It really is breathtaking to watch them dance together..... They move so effortlessly together.
Incredible story! We are so very very lucky to have Li Cunxin in Queensland
A family oozing with love, very moving and a breath of loud fresh air!
What a beautiful, inspiring story of love, courage, dedication, humility in a family! Sophie is beautiful inside and out, and she and the parants are lucky having each other in their lives.
The parents did whatever they thought would give their daughter the best life. I commend them for that !!!!!
I have a deaf 🧏♀️ daughter and I really enjoyed this video.
Hello how are you doing 😊😊😊
What a beautiful story of family love and dedication. I am aware of Mum & Dad's story and Mao's Last Dancer is one of my favourite books and movies... But this story of familial love goes above and beyond the fame previously out in the public domain 😍😍
This is a beautiful story of love , sacrifices and choices.
When I saw Sophies parents learning sign language it brought tears to my eyes.
So many Deaf who were forced to speak and “hear” . The identity crisis she had is honestly not uncommon. I’m soooooo happy her parents are learning to sign.
@Sheree Boulton I had to try REALLY hard to not rip into people in this. I’m so sorry you had to grow up like this.
@Sheree Boulton I am sorry to read your story. The Ablest centric world has so much to learn still. If you don't mind me asking, would you like to learn Auslan? It is still possible, if you would like to. Have you considered contacting your local state Deaf Society? Each state has one and Auslan classes are run through them, or they can advise you where to go.
I was born profoundly deaf 10% in one ear and nothing in the other. My mother also brought me up to speak.
Sophie has a great deal of success with the implant due to the extreme support of her family and therapists. She expressed how much an impact her loss had on her social development. Many children never achieve her level of communication. Access to language is critical. Sign language is a visual language is a complete, accessible language for the Deaf.
Hello how are you doing 😊😊😊
Her parents were told to not follow the sign language route in fairness to them. When it comes from a professional you tend to follow their advice
What an extraordinary and lovely family. The dancing is superb and very moving and such a pleasure to watch. God bless your family all of your days.
It was a hard road for Sophie but it sounds like that she is now grateful that she has the ability to communicate with everyone, both hearing and deaf. She has choices that many deaf people don't. Li and Mary may have made mistakes along the way and should have let her have access to the deaf community earlier, but it seems that Sophie is grateful now for her ability to function in both worlds. What wonderful loving parents they are and its lovely to see them embracing her life choices and making the effort to learn how to communicate with her in sign.
Made me cry. What an amazing story.
You might enjoy Mary’s book “Mary’s Last Dance” which follows on from Li’s book and gives her perspective.
What a beautiful job Sophies parents did of imparting knowledge we all take for granted; in saying that I spent time in rehabilitation following a TBI and was one of the few who could understand the majority of people following a stroke - learn to listen it’s a simple ratio rule - 2 ears and 1 mouth ✌🏽🇦🇺
I was not born deaf, I was in a bad wreck when I was twenty one. It blew out my left ear drum and damaged my right. People think I am weird because I stare at them. They do not realize I am reading their lips. People think I am rude because I do not respond, but I can not hear. It is rough. I am glad the young lady is doing well. The parents danced beautifully.
Reading lips is hard! You must be really good at adapting.
I don't know your situation, but perhaps you might find learning sign language useful? I had only studied it for one semester, when it became clear that it was an advantage. I suddenly found myself feeling sorry for hearing people who can't communicate across distances, through closed windows and cars, or when they don't want others included in a conversation. Acquiring an additional means of communication like sign language won't improve your hearing, but it will open up an entire community of people who use it, and provide you with opportunities for enjoyable communication and meaningful connection.
However you continue on your journey, I wish you much success!
Que lecciòn de vida
I don't want to say you're "weird" but YES, it can be taken as Rude! You said this happen at 21 yrs of age ...But didn't say your age now? The fact that you already read lips and that's not an easy task, but sign language would really do you well to know! I am confused as to why YOU seem to be the one making it "odd" the deaf community is quite large and you're missing out on wonderful ppl and experiences......
@@amyzamora9502 I am fifty six and no it was not easy to learn to read lips. I live in Appalachia there is no deaf community and I have never met a person who could sign. In this part of America we are off the radar.
@@wendybusby9415 I think being mean to strangers on the internet, without even knowing their full story is the real rude behaviour here! Thank you for sharing your story and I hope people in your local community are now supportive of your communication needs.
I felt very akin to Li and Mary having gone through the exact same journey with my profoundly deaf daughter who was taught English by me through a thing called "Cued " speech. She was able to learn sign language at Primary school, she attended a State run Hearing impaired unit. As a parent you want your child to be able to talk so that they can ask directions in the outside World because the rest of the World does not know sign language. She is much more comfortable in the deaf World because of the commonality of sign language and always will be. She had cochlear implant at age nine but does not rely on it for speech, however she can hear cars coming when crossing the road. I also felt sad that I had done what I thought was best for her and she has told me she feels very alienated around " hearings " even me. I did my best and she went also to University and is employed to now teach sign language.
I had a weird cross over with this story. I'm Mary's age and was in Rocky during my high-school years. Later I studied teaching and learning Auslan in Brisbane (intending to become a teacher for the deaf). This was right at the time of the growth of the deaf-pride movement, with the issue around oral and sign blowing up. (And at the same time, my boyfriend was the lead dancer at the QLD ballet!)
I had become involved in sign because a friend of mine in Melb was deaf but relied on oral. One night at a party the lights went out and I realised just how deaf she really was. I talked to her about it and said I thought she should learn to sign. To support her I started learning it with her. As a result, she went on this same journey as Sophie of really embracing her deaf identity, and eventually working in deaf-support services.
Beautiful story! Like Sophie, l am Deaf and proud of my Deaf culture/identity!
Thank you for bringing us this moving and educational human interest story.
These parents are unbelievable. :)
My grand daughter, now 14, was born prematurely at 23 weeks and weighed a mere 485 grams, with breathing difficulties requiring c-pap, which resulted in infection after infection, causing deafness. She has coped well, now in the middle of high school also with some assistance, as little as it may be, of hearing aids. She is a self taught lip reader. So her family can relate to Sophie and her famiy's story.
I read Mao's Last Dancer and watched the movie. Li and Mary are such beautiful humans, dancers and parents. So moved by their love and understanding for Sophie. I cried seeing after all her sacrifice Mary supported Sophie and started to learn sign language.
Have you read Mary book?
Beautiful and insightful. Thank you ! It’s really remarkable and heartwarming how this family comes together finally through the hurt, fears, sadness, anger and frustrations. God bless this amazing and inspiring family!
Mother’s love is immeasurable. They are beautiful family. Both mum and dad are wonderful person.
I'm so glad that this documentary is talking about deaf culture/identity and not having to be a hearing person. The parents did what they knew ...but are making up for lost time
True love is being able to give up everything for that person.
Sophie has options - yet so wonderful for her to find natural fulfilment with ASLAN - so educational to understand humans still need connection and humour in their own way. Brilliant young lady - a credit to herself and her parents.
She is an Amazing mom that taught job. I feel sad she migth have cried a lot alone.And smile a lot front her children.
What an inspiration and what a wonderful family that shows how you can embrace 'finding the true you and being your own you' and accepting the decisions you made in life. Wonderful to see how they show you are never old enough to learn. Sophie is a true inspiration. Her resilience, hard work as well as compassion is bringing joy and understanding to people's lives.
🙏🙏 beautiful Australian story.
What a beautiful family so dedicated and filled with so much love. Blessings to you all.
Bought Moa's last dancer when it first came out. Loved this book . Loved this guy, he was a hero, a true hero.
Then he gets what some people would call a blow, but like a true hero he and his wife rose to the task and conquered it
What a credit to them their preciouse daughter is. Her speaking skills are perfect, you would never know she can not hear.
This just shows you how so strong this family really is.
An amazing human story from all aspects. True heros all of them
Thank you for making such a beautiful documentary. My 6-yo is profoundly deaf and we also follow auditory-verbal therapy to teach her to hear and speak. I think this story is not about oral vs sign but more about a family who make their effort to give and take in order to overcome their different views and needs.
Unconditional love within a family! Awesome , inspirational and heart warming!
This was s great story, really enjoyed it and learnt alittle about being deaf.
I enjoyed this so much. I have huge respect for the parents doing what they thought was best, and huge respect for the daughter for understanding why they did what they did. It's wonderful to see the parents now learning sign language too. This documentary will be a valuable teaching tool for many parents of profoundly deaf children.
What a moving story. Love from everyone involved. Meeting in the middle is the wisest option, always.
With Nazis?
I thoroughly enjoyed this episode of Australian Story. What a beautiful family.
We all need to support each other .... sign language .... lip reading or speech 💗❤️
Well done Mary, Sophie, and Li.
An amazing and precious family.
I’m the lady who had the honor
of holding sweet Sophie’s head,
as she fell asleep with her head
on the window on the way to the
Great Wall. God’s continued blessings
to a family who has inspired the world.
Love, Rebecca (Leticia’s Mama)
Amaing amazing, how wonderful these parents didnt bend to the stigma of deafness but to help their daughter succeed
Such a poignant yet beautiful story of love... loss, sacrifice, misunderstanding, struggle, pain, regret and yet best of all... reconnecting, resilience, and strength. Tested by fire, yet, through it all, LOVE dramatically came full circle, fully manifested for and by all.
-Such a satisfyingly beautiful true life story. God bless each member of this family.
So funny/cool that he has a Chinese-Australian accent! You can hear both influences in his voice.
my god her voice is perfect
What a beautiful story!
Everyone is different. I was born profoundly deaf 10% in one ear and nothing in the other. My mother also brought me up to speak and lipread. I'm grateful for her steadfastness and love. Society 60 years ago basically rejected deaf people. In fact mum was told to put me into an institution and forget she ever had me. As an adult i learnt Auslan and went to deaf club but i didn't feel welcome and no one was willing to go slow so i could follow conversation. They treated me worst than hearing people do. I went 3 times then gave up. Sadly my signing was not up to conversational standard. I'm not shy but i did feel totally out of my depth.
I’m so sorry to hear that. I wish you well 🤗
Life sometimes takes us to unexpected journey and we need to put all our strength to solve and makes decisions and sacrifices ,to give hope and makes the lives of people around us better.
Such wise & loving parents! A beautiful couple in & out💕
I went deaf at 45 due to illness. I have a cochlear implant but it is still hard. I tried to learn Auslan by myself but it is hopeless if no one else in your family will learn it as you have no one to practice with. The first time I met some deaf people was the first time I didn't feel broken and defective. It's so important for deaf children to know this. You are not defective and, less than, your family and peers. You are just different. Most parents of deaf children don't learn Auslan and don't realise that their children are missing out on a lot because they won't meet them half way.
What a beautiful family one that works together stays together
What a beautiful story. I love seeing Sophie living her life in both worlds hearing and non hearing because of the sacrifice of both parents. TFS such a lovely story. 💕🐶💕🐶💕🙋♀️💕🥰💕💕💐
Loved watching this Australian Story. Parents do the best they can.
So many lessons to be drawn from this amazing documentary. Thank you.
I've read Moa's Last Dancer many years ago, it was one of the best autobiography!!
Thank you for sharing, many blessings for the future.
Amazing ..the love of mum and dad and determination and struggles they achieved for their daughter to have a normal life. Just wonderful.
What a beautiful and touching story!! Thank you for sharing !
Awesome family and a "AWESOME MOTHER." So much love from the parents, your family will be a inspiration to other's.
A Heartfelt Loving story of dedication; truly an Inspiration for Loving All That IS. Thank You!!!
Proud of them all deep respect and dedication wish u well👍🥰😊🤗😱
What an emotional story.... well done to the entire family, what a huge inspiration for overcoming many different problems
Absolutely inspirational!
It is uncommon sacrifice and beautiful love that sets this family apart.
What a lovely lovely story. So many examples of strength. Blessings to all of you!
THIS IS JUST SOOOO BRILLIANT! Well done guys for capturing the story so beautifully.
Thank you fir sharing your Sophie’s Choice with us. God bless you & I hope you will show us some of Mary’s comeback to ballet 💗
What an amazing mom and dad and what an incredible daughter.
Nothing but Love ❤️🥰👍🏽❤️
What beautiful, inspiring, and informative s story. I'm so glad that the mother and daughter were able to come to an understanding. And it's wonderful that they were willing to share their story. How many parents of deaf children could come to a better understanding of what their child may need in the way of support and role models by watching this video.
My daughter had cancer at 3 & unfortunately hurt her hearing but saying that we took the time to look at her as we spoke so she could lip read .
For you both to have taken the time while letting your career go .. I will totally adore & respect ❤️
I’m just a normal mum .... you both are incredible dancers 🙏🏼💗
What an amazing story! What inspiring parents! But living up to their accomplishments can bring so much pressure! Trying to be normal like everyone else is more pressure!
I am grateful that Sohpie took the time to write her letter explaining how she felt and what her struggle actually was! It broke the ice so they could communicate again and reconsile!
In every home it can be such a challenge to let go and allow our children to make their own choices! To see the family laughing and learning sign language together was especially beautiful and healing! Bless this beautiful family as they continue to touch others with story!
Beautiful story of love. Mary and Li you’re exemplary parents to Sophie and Sophie, you finally found yourself in both worlds. Congratulations to all of you!
Such an inspiring story. Thank you for sharing. Your path took the grace of your artistic talents and applied to finding solutions to the difficulty in life. Oh so beautiful! 😍
Wow, such a touching story.
Such a beautiful story...if only every child were so fortunate to experience this level of love and care.
Li & family are incredible - I was blessed to meet Li at a private talk about his life, had already seen his movie & strangely enough had heard of Li before he became well known. Australia is a very lucky country to have this beautiful family
What a beautiful story ! It touch my heart . The most important thing is they are together and happy despite all the struggle they had.❤️
What a beautiful, emotionally inspiring and lovely life story. I understand what Auslan means but now after watching this story, I feel the spirit of the word. Thank you for sharing Sophie's choice with all of us.
Phenomenal humans. So inspiring
Wonderful story of love, life and arts.
Beautiful story, incredibly responsible parents, and tough outstanding Sophie
Wow! What a great video of a family that loves together, stayed together, worked together, and is still going strong!