Straight Talk: Changing Your Partner || STEVE HARVEY
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- Опубликовано: 10 окт 2024
- When you start a new relationship, should you try to change them or just accept them as they are?
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“You can’t change anybody”
big daddy isaac yeah but loving someone will make you want to change if you want to keep them...you will do what it takes to make it work
I think you should want a partner that inspires you to change.
@mavishill 100%
I conquer with your sentiment 100%👌
That is so, so true. Thank you Lilian. “ you should want a partner that inspires you to change”. That is now in my memory!
I believe that it's in the delivery. Not what you say but HOW you say it. You can influence, recommend or suggest. For example: I love it when you wear your hair like that. It compliments your beautiful eyes. Hearing that makes me want to please him & hear the compliment again! When you negotiate, NOT dominate or manipulate, it's a win win✌🏼💖👑.
Each partner should want to improve for the other. When your partner openly communicates their desires, preferences and gives constructive criticism it shows love and honor to the spouse and the relationship to take those into consideration.
exactly
Yessssss STEVE those last words were amazing 🙌🏼
Steve got the word!!
Who else loves Steve Harvey??
I do! I have learned so much from him.
I don’t believe in changing someone but exactly what Steve said you need someone to make you better. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
You should definitely be able to accept someone for who they are when you meet them. People aren't fixer uppers. This is yet another reason WHY I'm single.
Changing him shouldn’t be my aim (that never works), but by being together we should learn from each other and in turn grow (together) as the panelist on the right said. It happens organically once the two persons are set on growing and improving.
It's soooo unfortunate to believe someone has changed you. YOU changed YOURSELF because you wanted to.
I completely agree with Steve here. I used to buy that narcissistic crap culture sells people about being with someone who loves EVERYTHING about you. If I ever stay in a permanent relationship with anyone it's with someone that complements me. Someone whose strengths are my weaknesses and vice versa. As a rule I stay away from people who feel like they're so perfect another person should be completely satisfied with who they are. How more self-absorbed can you get?
It depends. I fell in love with my husband before I knew he smoked cigarettes. Smoking is one of the most repulsive bad habits to me so that’s something I was not going to accept about him.
I don’t necessarily think you should try to change your partners morals and values, but if they have nasty habits, that’s a different story.
I don’t think you fell in love, i dont think someone smoking changes your feelings for someone
Abdala Abdullahi She fell in love with her husband. She just doesn’t like the smell of smoke nor kissing an ashtray.
Agreed.
Abdala Abdullahi we’ve been married almost 13 years, I definitely fell in love, lol
My boyfriend smoked when we started dating. When I was younger, that alone would have been a deal breaker, but as I got older, I started to understand why people smoke, and that it's often a habit they'd very much like to change and it isn't necessarily reflective of their character. So I kept it casual and figured I'd see who he was as a person, as he already did a good job off keeping the ashtray breath at bay. Turns out he's probably the love of my life, and he already wanted to quit, and knowing that I didn't like being around his smoke, he finally felt he had a good reason to quit. But I didn't *make* him quit. I supported it 100%, but I would still love him just as much if he were to mess up and start smoking again, because he is that amazing as a human being. And that's what I think it means to accept someone. Will you love them and want to be with them still if they never change that thing you don't necessarily like (so long as it isn't negatively affecting your own health and well-being)? That's the question you have to ask yourself, and then act accordingly. You can't change anyone but yourself, even in relationships. All you can do is support positive changes in each other, which is what true love really is.
I say,it depends.maybe not change,but encouraging them to change unhealthy habits.
It's both. Love is supposed to help a couple mutually grow in love, including grow themselves. The change comes thru submission/surrender for the other person
Not change, but encourage you to be better!
You can't change a person, but you can by getting to know them, realize what is a fit in the relationship and what isn't and with each of you doing that a change will come, and it will strengthen the relationship between you. This way you both help change each other, because when you first meet, you never knew all the little things that could cause unease, but if you want the relationship to work then you find ways to change on your own without being told if you're not a total jerk! Because you are to love each other as yourself.
This is beautiful. We need more conversations like this😎😥👏🏾
Lmao Jillian says all the same things Steve said at the end but everyone disagreed with her but was all on board with the idea of couples bettering each other when Steve said it 😂 I secondhand feel Jillian’s pain
I do extremly agree with the idea that people change their morals and valuse when they live and grow together with someone they love, that change comes gradually.
We have the power to change people but the thing is we want them to change certain things or behaviours according to our liking and at a snap of a finger. We don't give them that extra support so as to help them through whatever it is that we want them change instead we say " you either change or we done or you're out " and most cases people tend to be changed in our presence but do totally different stuff. If you want to help someone then go in with a clear and open mind, lots of patience, tolerance, ability to forgive among others.😊
Steve Harvey said all men can change but there's only one woman we change for. Same thing for a woman in vice versa.
We have to see something in that person that makes us go imma keep this one on lock
"steve, you should write a book"
ma'am, he's written several
I agree with Tanika
So true work together.
Great point steve well said.
"one" of the reasons i broke off the engagement was the whole bit about her trying to change me.
people change when they want to and usually their change is inspired by their partners
I cannot believe Steve had messy ass Jason on here 😭😩🥴
Who tf is he talking about nothing but MATERIAL things in a relationship. "After i got that bag".. 🤢🤦
Can someone PLEASE explain to me...like I was seven years old...what this bag is that he's talking about?
Gilles Marini???? I thought he was Antonio Bandaras
You have to find someone that love you for you during the good and the bad. Marriages don't last because every has the same mentality which is that if you don't do as they say they will find someone who will.
Wow this was indeed a very good one
SPEAK STEVE !!!
Guy in the middle looks like Steve just pointed him out. In the last part. 😂
Preach Steve!!! 👏
1000% agree!!!
This was so good. I will certainly apply this to my next relationship!
I feel like we shouldn't be with our partners to make us better but to totally accept them in totality and support 100% of their goals, dreams, desires, and ambitions and if a person can't accept in full as you are (speaking strictly in terms that this person is the one for you and your dream man or woman to begin with generally) then YOU'RE WITH THE WRONG PERSON! #imo #thatsjustme
This line of thinking seems like it would set people up for failure...
@@nnena3631 How so?
@@ilikepancakes2368 Because it contained a lot of absolutes. People that are inexperienced, vulnerable, or lack good direction can very easily use that reasoning to give things in relationships that they shouldn't and go beyond the point of "support" that they should.
Unfortunately women often suffer a lot from giving 100% to the wrong person because they thought he was the "one for them" he just needed "support".
Some dreams are not viable, some ambitions need to be reworked. Some desires are inappropriate. So the absolutes trouble me because sometimes people have trouble distinguishing between those things.
@@nnena3631 That’s true but in that case, shouldn’t the right advice be don’t idealize your partner? Women have this perception of how they want their man to be instead of accepting who he really is.
@@ilikepancakes2368 Exactly, I agree
Steve should write a book for men too.
In some ways, partners can change for each other. But if you’re always thinking “maybe he’ll change,” don’t count on that happening.
absolutely Steve!
Tanika is so beautiful 😍
Clap when I finish 😂
Preach Steve!!!!!
My problem was that my significant other had a very drastic change in their personality and social life. But her social life was very high school like. The place she worked and the friends she hung out with were just sloppy. Promiscuous friends, friends that have no idea what commitment was, male friends that shared things with her as if she was one of the boys, friends with std's. She even started taking edibles and smoking weed on a consistent basis. And this changed was slowly happening over the course of a year and we constantly argued about it because I could literally see this change in her happening. And when I questioned her about it and told her about these people and that she should get another job, she completely disregarded me. So basically she chose her social life over someone who has not only accepted her baggage, but encouraged her to do better, love her etc all that good stuff. I kind of feel cheated in life tbh.
It's not about trying to change your partner, don't date them then. BUT, your presence and how y'all interact should make your partner and *yourself* wanna change for the better.
I tried changing someone for the better it took away my happiness and he ddnt change me for the better he took without giving,i learned to get someone that fits the type of man I want next time
WOW RUclips IS DRUNK 6 COMMENTS WOW I LOVE YOU STEVE
If you want to change somebody then you are with the wrong person.
Amazing talk!!!!
2:41 is that editing or did he just cut her off?🤔...😅
BlackRadiance i swear i thought i was the only one who noticed that. What the hell ahah i think he simply interrupted the poor woman
50/50 when I first met my wife I had some clothes that I was use to but in reality they where raggedy she pointed this out and after bouncing off the wall in protest I got rid of them so my wife helped me
I believe that you should enter a relationship being fully aware of what a person's flaws are and be accepting of them. If there are things about that person that you find unacceptable, then you don't need to be with that person, period. That being said, obviously everyone changes and grows, and part of loving someone is helping them change and grow for the better. But that change ultimately has to start within the individual. You can't *make* someone change, and I think if someone doesn't want to change, you have to decide for yourself if you can accept that, or not, and act accordingly. It's codependent and unhealthy to stay with someone just *hoping* they'll change into this version of themselves that you've idealized or even completely made up in your head that may not even be at all realistic for them.
I have a fiancé that moved back into his parents home. He’s 38. We used to live together but he hurt his back at work and got depressed and I was tried of working my butt off to make up the difference all the time. We broke up and I got a place and he moved back home. This was supposed to be temporary. It’s turned into two years now! He has three kids, I have two, we are both divorced. Two of his kids are now teens and it’s ridiculous! He said this year on his taxes he made $130,000. He doesn’t help me out financially, takes me out to eat and once in a while will give me like $100 to get a dress or my hair done but thats about it. I love him and I love his kids and his youngest and mine oldest are one month apart and are best friends often called the twins because they look alike. I’m just fed up, his kids need their own space. I’d like to finally move forward but he seems to have no urgency moving out of his parents house. He also says he has to pay them a ridiculous amount of money for rent and food. What should I do?
2:09-2:12 I like this guy😥👏🏾
OMG. That's Jordan from Big Brother 11! 😃
You have to want to be better for being with that person the motivation needs to be there. A woman yelling “she don’t need a man or she independent” is not motivation to get better as a man
First of all you can't change anybody. If they love you they will change for the better.
Accept me 😂
Steve please don't invite that Jason guy back 🤢👎
*But I do love seafood...*
Some men don’t realize that this girl is the one, but they do once it’s too late 🤓 Gil’s don’t be sorry to leave that sorry ass 🤓 u will meet the one who will appreciate u somewhere 🥰
as a man, she doesnt change you, you change her by leading simple as that.
Thats old mentality, good luck with that
@@abdalaabdullahi198 its old but its true. leadership will never be antiquated.
Men and women lead while also supporting each other. Men often lead in a more direct way, but women for sure lead their husbands in terms of direction and guidance...a woman's intuition is never to be underestimated.
@@PrincessWhatsername what females say and what they respond to are two completely different things. people are to afraid to admit the truth
@@PrincessWhatsername they support, they don't lead
Well said Steve 👍👍👍
Yurrrr
Steve Sooooo true 👏👏👏💯
Caucasions and Hispanics seem to easily admit their weaknesses w/o shame. This is true conversion. Each should improve themselves. Note: If no one can change you but yourself, then in REALITY, NO ONE can improve YOU but YOURSELF and GOD. One must realize this. Many believe that they are making someone better. They are changing because THEY choose to. And, usually, if one really loves one, one WILL change or comply to compromises.
Ding ding dong ,✌✌
Steve yes you can change somebody but mark my word. Its going to mash up the relationship
What they think because a woman with man it makes a man better
Maybe you should watch it again, because that's not what was said, the answer was for both genders..
Man invented the wheel !!!!! What has a woman invented that impactful that has bettered society.
It's on its way!!
it happens but its the rare exception, not the norm
@@etf42 Yes, you can call me Rare :-).
She grew the man that invented the wheel for nine months. Enough said... but since you asked ... there is no need for you or anyone else to remain IGNORANT
Ada Lovelace invented the computer algorithm by which all that you see here is possible. Charles Babbage was STUCK ... three-quarters of the work was actually done by Mrs. Lovelace, so, she gets the credit now.
Ever had a lunch out of a square paper bag? You have Margaret Knight to thank.
Like choo-choo trains? Mary Walton invented the chimney for the locomotive ... and also figured out how to run subways without damaging people's hearing.
Ever played with blocks as a baby? Adeline T. Whitney gave you those.
Fire escapes, and thus all the building codes from fire safety that resulted: Anna Connelly
Modern Medical Syringe: Letitia Geer
Refrigerator: Florence Parpart
There's plenty more ... a good list is here: www.usatoday.com/story/money/2019/03/16/inventions-you-have-women-inventors-thank-these-50-things/39158677/
Presuming that you use windshield wipers, coffee filters, hot water when you turn on the tap, and dozens of other conveniences that make your life better, you have women to thank.
I can't change no one & I'm not accepting people as they are(if they way they are is horrible) .soo 😂
Where can I watch the whole segment ?
But....Marjorie changed Steve...lol
They ain't changing.
Its always women wanting to change the guy she was intially attracted to, but then she leaves and blames him for changing
Men go into a marriage thinking their wife will not change, and she does. Women go into a marriage thinking their husband will change and he does not. The ones that don't realize this will be frustrated for life.
Why are you trying to change someone you chose?
I hate when the guests do not see that Steve is trying to introduce a joke, and keep on talking on top of him.
1:56
If he’s doing stupid 💩 you have to bring that to his attention and vice versa, then you work on yourselves to that harmony and peace. Everyone alive is evolving and growing, if you’re not your not alive literally.
My woman just insult me and she calls it an advice!!! 😢😢😢
Jillian Michaels:)
Then they are like , you are not the man i fell in love with . B.... pls
Here before 200 views #earlysquad
SMH Tanika… you bagged Jillian’s idea but support Steve saying the same thing!
You can change people, who says we can't change anybody. Everybody change.
Jillian = auto dislike Mr. Hightower
Not! One! Beard!
What about Jussie?
At 2:04 the guy in the middle is talking utter nonsense. I swear to God a lot of the men on this show (including Steve) suck up to women as if they're these amazing unique supernatural creatures, when they really aren't. Pretty pathetic to be honest. And how is that even related to the question anyway? Yuck...
Wow.
Women are certainly amazing. We do stuff where it's impossible for a man to do. So yes they have all right to view us women as amazing.
@@sabrinawalker9654 You keep having that deluded opinion. You women aren't amazing. Far from it infact.
Alex George lmao now you just sound mad
Maybe he just loves his wife. Lol
What r the names of these ladies ?
Little bit arrogantly confidence.
Women improve everything a man has made yeah ok
He said it because the majority of the audience are women. So he had to appease them. But he as well as everyone know it's not true at all.
Actually, do some research... Women inventors have a solid track record on both improving and sometimes being first.
Gilles is hot
Write a book for men!!!!!!!
Dating made me worse i used to be social and stuff but during and after my relationship I've become antisocial to the point I leave my house at most 20 times a year.
There is not a single woman to make me better because being heavily medicated can't even achieve that.
Are all these people just crazy?
I think Gillian looks like Kandi Buruss ... housewives of Atlanta 🤔
!!!!!
Why is Jason Lee on here !
The black guy is wrong !!!!!! Daniel Maseres invented the fire escape ...... do your homework before u open your mouth !!!!!!
that was such a dumb comment