Why We Need Boundaries

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  • Опубликовано: 27 дек 2024

Комментарии • 495

  • @GG-gn9ei
    @GG-gn9ei 4 года назад +232

    My parents are toxic. I had an abusive childhood. I struggle with setting boundaries. Please pray for me.

    • @cynthiar6974
      @cynthiar6974 3 года назад +9

      🕯️🙏 communication is key...I was in the same boat as you until recently. I used to do things very very much on my own. But recently I started explaining, I have [ __ ] deadline to accomplish this goal. At [___] time I'll be home bc i will be working on this at [___] (location) but don't hesitate to call me if you have an *Emergency*

    • @chembiz
      @chembiz 3 года назад +9

      I've been there. I suggest reading the book "Toxic Parents" and seeking counseling to get help.

    • @virginiapierlot4168
      @virginiapierlot4168 3 года назад +3

      Will do

    • @gloria.R.7286
      @gloria.R.7286 Год назад +3

      Same. I know all about parents stepping over boundaries. I will be praying for you.❤

    • @catherine6348
      @catherine6348 Год назад +3

      I have set many boundaries myself and they don't matter. I understand your pain. Do what you need to do and remember that there is nothing wrong with you asking for qnd seeking the things that help you function healthily and happily...

  • @heyjess7232
    @heyjess7232 6 лет назад +406

    I'm a recovering people pleaser and SO grateful you are talking about this!

    • @marymacdonald1651
      @marymacdonald1651 6 лет назад +10

      Just curious. How do you recover from people pleasing.

    • @heyjess7232
      @heyjess7232 6 лет назад +29

      @@marymacdonald1651 Years and YEARS of practicing boundaries, saying no, and re-learning the way to think and react to situations. I've been actively working on it for 10 years at this point, and for sure will be a lifelong process. Just one I get better and better at!

    • @heyjess7232
      @heyjess7232 6 лет назад +8

      @@marymacdonald1651 therapy has helped, and my husband has helped.

    • @maxinemcclurd1288
      @maxinemcclurd1288 6 лет назад +16

      Being a people pleaser made me a good nurse but outside of nursing it has caused me a lot of emotional scars.Seems like the joy sucking users can see me coming a mile away.I am overcoming and learning to say no with the help of a lot of prayer.

    • @teenajoe22
      @teenajoe22 5 лет назад +6

      I have only started my journey and its hard. I'm finding it so hard to trust my judgement whether mine are good/harsh or if it's to the right people I'm setting boundaries or if I'm just sensitive to getting drained.

  • @clintonharvey-olivier3660
    @clintonharvey-olivier3660 6 лет назад +8

    I work in EMS and at the hospital, to say that I say horrible things somedays, is a understatement.. my main, solid boundary is.. it never leaves work with me, and it does not come into my home, where my children sleep.. they have so many years left, of dollhouses.. and, unicorn stuffed animals.. before, they see how ugly this world sometimes is..

  • @nariko47
    @nariko47 6 лет назад +349

    I need healthier boundaries against MYSELF. I'm way too nice... I say yes to people when I really should be saying no. It's okay to say yes sometimes, but I realize I cause my own unnecessary stress sometimes.

    • @nemianyamele2265
      @nemianyamele2265 6 лет назад +7

      Savina Zúñiga this is a bit too relatable

    • @gill426
      @gill426 6 лет назад +17

      This has to do with inner belief systems. Like you have to give more than you feel comfortable with in order to be a good person/ in order to be liked. It's great when you find out this is not actually God's truth. ;)

    • @nariko47
      @nariko47 6 лет назад +12

      And you know it's not that I want to be pleasing or to be liked... it actually happens naturally without thinking twice. Just wished I stopped myself a bit more. There's nothing I love more than to help others and be of service... but I need to learn how to put myself first sometimes, and not last all the time. 😔

    • @gill426
      @gill426 6 лет назад +3

      @@nariko47 That was not an attack, I'm sorry if it came across that way.
      It's just my experience of ingrained behavioural patterns. Especially if you say you don't think twice.

    • @nariko47
      @nariko47 6 лет назад +2

      @@gill426
      No, not at all - I hear you 100% I agree.

  • @CherylMuir
    @CherylMuir 3 года назад +17

    A mantra that helped me:
    It's safe to set boundaries with difficult people.
    No matter what they say or feel, I am safe.

  • @grizzlydan8
    @grizzlydan8 6 лет назад +14

    It took me about 40 years to learn the need to set boundaries and another 10 years to actually apply it in all areas of my life.

  • @BM-nk1pe
    @BM-nk1pe 5 лет назад +54

    I feel like Father is addressing empaths directly here and I’m really appreciative to him for that

  • @zoebrow8221
    @zoebrow8221 6 лет назад +18

    Setting boundaries is way of having self-care. We cannot help with an empty depleted cup. Thank you Father Mike. This is a good video. Take care of yourself! The church needs priests to set an example of healthy boundaries. Taking time off is a boundary. If you need time to rest its okay to do so.God Bless you Father Mike may the Lord fill your cup to overflowing. .

  • @susanbreaux8246
    @susanbreaux8246 4 года назад +4

    Dear Father Mike
    I am 72 years old . What is that old adage that really applies to me... Raised by Wolves educated by Nuns lol. Jesus can teach an old dog new tricks. Everyone no matter what age what station in life should have a Father Mike in their lives! Thank God for you!

  • @nikkif.409
    @nikkif.409 2 года назад +3

    I had a great pastor that would say in a very happy tone: "Okay, you need to go now." It threw me off but made me laugh too. I knew that was his line for everyone and it worked.

  • @yf777a
    @yf777a 6 лет назад +6

    A friend of mine, known for his generosity and willingness to help said; he learned to can't have too many 'hitched to your cart,' because then you will not be able to get anywhere. Yes, setting assertive necessary boundaries is charitable, non enabling, and prudent.

  • @12mountain
    @12mountain 4 года назад +17

    Admittedly I often chafe at the concept of boundaries, I think because the way that I often see them used in our modern culture/society is as an excuse for selfishness.
    But I think you articulated the concept very well, Fr. Mike, and showed how Jesus still had boundaries on his time when he was physically walking the earth. Thank you for your eloquence.

  • @sunflower312A
    @sunflower312A 6 месяцев назад +2

    Here in 2024 and I really needed the guidance from Fr Mike - thank you, Lord, for answering the questions in my heart that have been stressing me out 😟

  • @aikam7352
    @aikam7352 Год назад +1

    God is truly speaking to me through you, Fr. Mike! Instead of opening the bible I decided to go to your channel and upon opening youtube this video was the first thing I saw. Amen! You are truly and wonderfully blessed! 🙏🥹

  • @angelwings1446
    @angelwings1446 6 лет назад +18

    As a Mormon who does not believe in that faith , I have never learnt so much about Jesus Christ, thank you so much for all of your talks , I live in a small town in Wales Uk , which does have a Catholic Church, forever grateful, thank you Paige

    • @constancemartin933
      @constancemartin933 11 дней назад

      I hope you found/find your way into the Catholic faith. I am a 40 year convert and it has been my fortress. God bless.🙏🏻

  • @LacrimarvmValle
    @LacrimarvmValle 6 лет назад +100

    Reminds me of the movie "Good Will Hunting", that boundaries establishment of "I'm here to help you as your counselor, but not necessarily as your friend" and how by the end of the movie he was almost like this father figure to him. I had to analyze that movie for my psychology class and it's a masterpiece

    • @roniquebreauxjordan1302
      @roniquebreauxjordan1302 6 лет назад

      ..made a comment last evening regarding regarding resource I came across a few years ago,...it keeps you focused and helps during those times when that's necessary...

    • @Forbiddenangel989
      @Forbiddenangel989 4 года назад +3

      That's a good film

  • @s58786
    @s58786 6 лет назад +46

    This is so good for romantic relationships too

  • @bulmaroperez2250
    @bulmaroperez2250 6 лет назад +127

    For me setting boundaries for my mom is the hardest! She always tries to pull the mom card or Jesus wouldnt approve card! Until one of our Priest friends was over at our house for dinner and experienced it himself when my mom left he told me that i had to fire her ! Mentally and then let her know that she will always be my mother but that as grown women we needed boundaries. And exactly how you are saying Father it has been working. Little by little shes kinda getting it but it takes work and love!

    • @maxinemcclurd1288
      @maxinemcclurd1288 6 лет назад +12

      I've just about bitten my tongue off to keep this from happening between me and my daughter.I remind myself of how I felt when Mom or Grandmother would give me advice or criticism on raising my kids.So far I'm the "good" Grandmother even though I cringe inside when my 4 year old grandson gets fast food junk or watches cartoons that i wouldn't approve of.My sweet loving little grandson gets on his knees when we pray and asked to be baptized in Grandmothers Church and my necklace with my crucifix on it is kinked from him kissing Jesus,such a blessing!

    • @carinn.1402
      @carinn.1402 5 лет назад +6

      Wow! Glad to know I'm not the only one. My mother loves to pull the Jesus wouldn't approve card/honor your mother card. I struggle myself but since I've been married recently, its easier to lump my decisions as a "we" thing and she tends to step back because she respects the holiness of matrimony and she doesn't want to cross that boundary. It's funny to witness.

    • @stephanieallred5222
      @stephanieallred5222 5 лет назад +1

      Ooh, very this! My mom crosses the line and I’ve really had to set firm boundaries. It’s tough but has been the best thing for our relationship.

    • @mariaesparza4067
      @mariaesparza4067 5 лет назад +1

      oh my goodness, i'm in the same boat with my daughter. She comes off as really mean to me and instead of saying something she tells my mother!!! I've helped them so much that i thought they needed other help, but now i realize, i need to set boundaries with her.

    • @berthahayden71
      @berthahayden71 4 года назад +1

      Ok how are you doing this b/c My mom is just as bad as yours if not worse. So, what tips did he give you to be able to set up boundaries with my mom

  • @jimmieoakland3843
    @jimmieoakland3843 6 лет назад +54

    Funny, I was recently thinking about finding a priest and asking him about this very topic. There are some people that I am slowly distancing from my life, because they are such downers. Now, i would never abandon a friend who was going through a rough patch, but these are the kind of people who are chronically unhappy, even though they are in relatively happy circumstances. They bring me down, and there is nothing I can do for them. With or without me, they are determined to be unhappy, so it might was well be without. Thanks for clarifying my duties in these situations.

  • @neosonic199
    @neosonic199 6 лет назад +27

    Ok, I understand that these boundaries need to be set, because if not, then people will either get too needy or take advantage of you.

  • @arumiranda
    @arumiranda 6 лет назад +64

    Thank you, Fr. Mike. I feel the love of God through this video. I have a toxic relationship with a loved one so I was contemplating on establishing boundaries. Last night before sleeping, I have this question in my head 'how can I establish healthy, Christian boundaries with that person?'. And boom! First time I opened youtube today, your latest video shows up. This is God's answered prayer for me. Thanks, Fr. Mike, for letting yourself be an instrument of God's grace. God bless you.

    • @celinamilian
      @celinamilian 5 лет назад +4

      Holy Spirit is at work!

    • @xHannaHx33
      @xHannaHx33 4 года назад +2

      Remember he said if it’s TOXIC (like really bad) just cut it off 💙✝️💙 hope u r doing better this year

  • @cassasunta2209
    @cassasunta2209 4 года назад +6

    That's deep. And now I understand what boundaries mean. Give space to one another and not just stick to one person. And if there is space, the other person can reach others. I know this is not easy, but well I have to learn to respect peoples boundary then. Thanks so much Father...God bless

  • @dawntrudeau
    @dawntrudeau 2 года назад +7

    Wow! I love when God puts things right there in our path. I needed to hear this today. I say “I have to because that’s what Christians do.” ALL the time. For everything. Thank you Father Mike. 🙏

  • @Kudus-r5x
    @Kudus-r5x 11 месяцев назад +1

    Thank you father mike for your words..it makes me realize tbat time is value and spend tme with properly someone.,

  • @coopereitel7553
    @coopereitel7553 6 лет назад +112

    Can't stop looking at that awesome beard

    • @IONov990
      @IONov990 5 лет назад +1

      He's so cute

    • @jooby4785
      @jooby4785 5 лет назад +1

      It’s legendary

    • @scarlet020100
      @scarlet020100 4 года назад +8

      God made him so handsome so people will stop to listen; then His message hits you right between the eyes!

    • @hienpham8536
      @hienpham8536 4 года назад

      lol

    • @Deezy07
      @Deezy07 4 года назад +4

      I'm here for the message he has. Not his beard.

  • @charliedallachie3539
    @charliedallachie3539 6 лет назад +9

    There is also the toxic kind of relationships (narcissistic or sociopathic), and they’ll take advantage or use you emotionally until you’re dry. In that case you need to disconnect and move on as best as you can as long as there is no ties to them like kids or family. In the latter case boundaries are very important.

  • @montana_anima2268
    @montana_anima2268 6 лет назад +11

    Boundaries are very important. I was in a state of deep depression at the same time as my closest friend. I tried to be there for her as often as I could, but I burned out so completely and reacted emotionally to something I thought was hurtful. We didn't speak for weeks on end until I was able to pull myself together again. It almost destroyed an extremely close friendship. I have to set firm boundaries now. It means I don't see her as often, but when we do see one another, I am able to be present with her in the moment.

  • @katiew6935
    @katiew6935 3 года назад +5

    This video was created for me. I am horrible with boundaries. It challenges me with being a lifeguard. I also get walked on so much that I end up lashing out on people who never hurt me.

  • @jaredjohnson7960
    @jaredjohnson7960 6 лет назад +9

    My friend and I both have kind of an issue with getting into draining friendships to support people. She’s not Christian but im gonna share this with her anyways

  • @jenniferrinaldi8808
    @jenniferrinaldi8808 6 лет назад +68

    This is timely as always Father. I have had this trouble a lot of my life whether its friends or romantic relationships. I see a Catholic therapist and she yells at me about this all the time. I recently had to cut off ties with a long time friend. She has severe mental issues, her fiance has a criminal record that included sexual assault, as well as substance abuse issues. She would pop up and want to talk. I"d sit and listen for hours while she would spill her guts and then disappear. She knew the situation was wrong. I could call her and then I wouldn't hear for a week, sometimes a month. Everyone has always come to me as the "therapist." I love helping and being of service but it can drain me so much that I end up neglecting myself. I have so much stress in my life already with my own medical issues and taking care of my grandmother with dementia that I can't carry her things too.

    • @poetlover30
      @poetlover30 6 лет назад +2

      Totally understand & have the same problem with my parents

    • @michaelknapp8074
      @michaelknapp8074 6 лет назад

      Travel with me to Revelation 2 and 3. Jesus gave a revelation to John about 7 churches. There were more than 7 churches that existed at this time, but he specifically gave a revelation to these churches. In this letter he gives them a compliment for what they are doing right, criticisms for what they are doing wrong, and suggestions for how to improve. Basically like a report card for the church. What's mind blowing, is that these letters are prophetic. The exact same struggles each of these churches had are the exact same struggles the church has had since Jesus resurrection until his second coming. The church of Ephesus represents the first church. The church from 30ad to around 70 ad. They had folks who tried to introduce false doctrine, but they didn't tolerate it. They were on fire for God, but they were losing sight of their first love. The second church was Smyrna. Smyrna is where we get the word MYRRH. The word MYRRH means suffering or death. This church was persecuted heavily under the 10 Roman Empires from 70ad to 300 ad. The next church was Pergamus. This is a compound word meaning PER- Mixed or objectionable and GAMUS meaning Marriage. It's where we get the words polyGAMY and monoGAMY. Anyway, this was the mixed marriage church. It's when paganism and Christianity mixed under the leadership of Constantine. Constantine converted pagan temples to Christian churches, Pagan priest to Christian priest, Pagan Celebrations to Christian celebrations. It's where we get the traditions of Easter, Christmas, etc. It's where SUNDAY comes from. Pagans worshiped their false God's on Sunday, but Christians worshiped on Saturday. Constantine merged the two and called in SUNDAY in honor of the SUN GOD. .... All this is historical and Biblical. Visit romancatholicism.com - Roman Catholicism history, doctrine, etc. for more info. Please know this. I went to Catholic Seminary. It's such a blessing to get away from all those man made and pagan traditions and worship God freely.

    • @kimfleury
      @kimfleury 6 лет назад +7

      Michael Knapp -- I had a hunch that your comment was going to degenerate. Just fyi, it doesn't matter if you "went to" a Catholic Seminary. For starters, I can go to a Catholic Seminary if I apply as a student...even though I'm a grandmother. But before I apply, I would want to make sure it isn't one of those "off" seminaries where anti-Catholic ideas and practices are encouraged. I happen to know that the seminary nearest to me teaches a rigorous curriculum, so I wouldn't hesitate to go there. But even after applying there, I'd have to undergo an admittance process which is, itself, rigorous -- even for students who aren't discerning the priesthood or religious life. Some seminaries have lax standards, to say the least. So just saying that you went to *a* Catholic Seminary doesn't mean much. It could mean that you visited one but you weren't ever a student there. It could mean that you took a class there but weren't admitted to a program. It could mean that the seminary accepted anyone who could pay tuition, regardless of their academic abilities (and yours might be substandard for all we know -- not saying they are, just that we don't know). One thing is for certain: You didn't learn about Constantine or the Sabbath from a reputable, solid Catholic seminary professor. You didn't even get it from a reputable, solid history or religion program from a secular college. In fact, you didn't even get it from a pop culture source such as the BBC or the History Channel. You got that flat off the internet, out of the mind of a deluded religious leader. It's just crackpot revisionist history.

    • @travismulvaney4895
      @travismulvaney4895 6 лет назад

      .

    • @dg0215
      @dg0215 2 года назад

      @@kimfleury Amen!! Well put.

  • @marylynch951
    @marylynch951 6 лет назад +4

    I was becoming so distressed
    I feel proud of myself that I have began putting boundaries in place
    It was only with my Son
    That I didn't have boundaries in place
    I have with ever one else
    And to be truthful and honest
    Without I realising I was going a long with my Son's drinking
    Thank God
    I have had a wake call
    Thank you Father

  • @JMeve
    @JMeve Год назад +2

    I had my boundaries *trampled* on by a friend for a whole year, they were super needy, and when they would mess up they would write a apology letter than do it all over again. I tried to be like Christ, you know because that’s me too I sometimes have to go back to confession to confess the same sins. So I would forgive and forgive and forgive but I had enough and now I just don’t wanna reply anymore. They also hurt some of my other friend and they stopped talking to him so I think I will too. I’ve honestly had enough, I’m tired.😕

  • @andrealicalzi5786
    @andrealicalzi5786 2 месяца назад

    I'm also healing and recovering from being a people pleaser at work. Today, I finally stood up for myself to a coworker who is on a leave right now, and she had the audacity to come into the office today (if I were her, I would avoid my work like the plague). I have been hurt by people at work recently, and I am learning to set boundaries with people, as well as apply to other jobs to myself out of this toxic work environment. The wounds that have been said by people toward me are still tender and I know I need Jesus's help to forgive these people. Please pray for me! 🙏

  • @paulynerinto1197
    @paulynerinto1197 3 года назад +3

    I needed to hear this 3 years ago.....I served none stop cause I felt guilty when I didn't. Our church community told each other all the time to serve till the die you die or you must be like Mother Mary saying yes without hesitation...I became so oblivious of everything else but the church and it almost cost me so much of the people close to me that I went into depression. I thank Fr Mike for bringing this up. This needs to be heard.

  • @marylynch951
    @marylynch951 6 лет назад +27

    Father Mike
    Thank you
    I was meant to have read your quote on Boundaries
    At this moment in time I have began putting boundaries regarding my Son who has a drink problem and I was allowing him to come hear early hours of the mornings bringing drink in with him
    He is just 29 years old
    I keep praying that he will seek help
    But I have only just set my boundaries with him
    I have asked him not to bring alcohol in with him
    And he has so far respected this

  • @carolcastaneda9931
    @carolcastaneda9931 6 лет назад +21

    As a teacher, I've been struggling with this in the last couple of months. Thanks so much Father Mike, I really needed to hear this affirmation! ❤️🙏🏽

  • @DavidValenzuelaRdz
    @DavidValenzuelaRdz 6 лет назад +2

    Such an important topic! And yes, it can seem confusing why a Christian would seem “so cold”, but that’s how we can balance our life and commitments.

  • @azucena.valentine
    @azucena.valentine Год назад +1

    I thought I was making it so I was helping others and now I realize I need to work on boundaries. I am so drained sometimes I don't even have the energy to pray well for Our Lord. I need especially boundaries with my really large family. My culture doesn't understand boundaries at all. It's true Jesus did have alone time with God. He also went to think and pray. I didn't realize how much he needed time alone and he was the Son of God. We are just His children and our limitations are so much more. Thank you for this, I will get the books you mentioned.

  • @joanhenry650
    @joanhenry650 6 лет назад +34

    Thank you Father...This was so good! Really helps me better understand a Christian way to set boundaries. I used to believe that loving my neighbor or honoring my father and mother meant I had to be a doormat. Your explanation helps me see how sometimes we can get things twisted when it comes to being a “good Christian “.Jesus is our role model!

  • @j.r.r5863
    @j.r.r5863 20 часов назад

    I’ve been trying to establish boundaries with my in-laws for about 7 months now. It has been a horrible time. There are days when I honestly wish I had never said a thing. My marriage is so so hurt because of the reaction I have gotten. The thing is, I couldn’t do it anymore. The only way my in laws were pleased is if I did what they wanted all the time. With no boundaries, and absolutely no complaints when things that were hurtful were said. My husband was happy too because he said his family loved me. Now, they all hate me and I have a feeling my husband does a little too. This is all so much easier said than done.

  • @prolifemama
    @prolifemama 5 лет назад +3

    This is excellent! I'll be cryptic and say this: there is a particular family member who has been hurtful and manipulative towards my husband and I. This person isn't someone we can just cut out of our lives so we've had to put boundries in place to protect our marriage and family. Having these boundries keeps us happier and sane and is a loving way to let said person know we still love them and want them to be a part of our lives but their behavior needs to be appropriate and respectful.

  • @barbaragontarek1970
    @barbaragontarek1970 6 лет назад +14

    Spot on and so timely. This situation has just arisen in my life with someone who (I let) dominate my spare time. At first, it was just a little here and a little there. Now, it is constant, and that person is also draining me financially, and I’m so short of funds. Thank you, Father Mike, you dropped into my day exactly when I was pondering how to handle the problem. I prayed for help, and Father Mike popped up on my computer. Thank you, again.

  • @WithLoveFromJesus
    @WithLoveFromJesus 4 месяца назад

    Thank you Fr. Mike. WoW. 👍🙏🙏🙏

  • @crazasticTV
    @crazasticTV 6 лет назад +2

    I'm an atheist but some of these videos are still quite interesting. I do ignore tge spiritual stuff but I like that he also uses facts

    • @user00578___
      @user00578___ 4 года назад

      well I hope it will make you closer to faith! God bless you!

  • @skyesage881
    @skyesage881 3 года назад +1

    Wow I've been causing my own chaos! Thank you Father🙏

  • @Forbiddenangel989
    @Forbiddenangel989 4 года назад +1

    Fr Mike truly makes a valid point where he said about Jesus having to set boundaries either with the people he was preaching to or his disciples and I truly believe he did that. His disciples followed him wherever he went but Jesus also needed his alone time and for him to be able to have his personal space he would have to set boundaries. Very well said Fr Mike 👏

  • @alicerhea4432
    @alicerhea4432 6 лет назад +2

    Most of the time I thought that saying yes to whom I dearly love is always the best thing to do. To say "no" was very hard, but in doing this I experience freedom, allow God to work in my life and allow others to stand on their own.
    For God always desire us to free.

  • @grabert26
    @grabert26 6 лет назад +4

    This is so spot on. My father and I have discussed this principal from a Christian perspective as well. I have a sibling and a mother in law that I have had to establish boundaries with. It isn't always easy, but my father has reminded me that my God given obligation is to my husband and then children before anyone else, and that if I choose to ignore that, then I am disregarding God's directive to me as a wife and mother. Therefore, no matter how I may THINK I am doing good by helping others, I am actually disobeying God.

    • @kimfleury
      @kimfleury 6 лет назад +2

      Wise dad.

    • @joanhaselman444
      @joanhaselman444 Год назад

      You are so blessed to have such a wise father who genuinely loves you.

  • @mybee04
    @mybee04 3 года назад +2

    Wish I would’ve learned this 20 years ago, but it Is NEVER to late! For some reason I really struggle with the catholic guilt of saying no, but I’m glad you made that point about Jesus setting boundaries!

  • @lgb5661
    @lgb5661 2 года назад +2

    Thank you Father!!! Thank you thank you thank you. Family ….. you’ve made my heart and soul feel such comfort

  • @dg0215
    @dg0215 2 года назад +1

    Father Mike, thank you so much for this topic. I am a recovering codependent, ACA, etc. seeking to live in emotional sobriety. And I am in full-time ministry. One of my main areas of conflict are in just what you spoke about. Thank you for including the Christian aspect of this, which I think is greatly misunderstood. Blessings to you always. Peace and prayers! dg🙏🤗❤✝

  • @KurtGodel432
    @KurtGodel432 6 лет назад +10

    We all need me time.

  • @paidinfull2204
    @paidinfull2204 6 лет назад +13

    I have been having Farther Mike withdrawal symptoms. Your videos are addictive and very helpful it is as if you are talking to me as I'm going the very same thing you have talked about. God Bless you Amen

  • @bluewolfeyes2904
    @bluewolfeyes2904 4 года назад +1

    We need boundaries to protect ourselves from all the narcissists in the world. Most narcissists are closest to us. My mom is a covert narcissist, and I only realized it at age 37 after a lifetime of fear, obligation and guilt (FOG). And my ex-husband who just got arrest for sexual assault of a minor. So there is an example of toxic relationships with two people who have been close in my life. And if you’re wondering - no, I do not have a relationship with either of them anymore.

  • @davidmorton2620
    @davidmorton2620 3 года назад +1

    I love you Father Mike. Thank you.

  • @razberrymist9475
    @razberrymist9475 6 лет назад +2

    My brother was complaining once about how condescending my step mother was being, and he was saying how he was trying to be Christian and love her anyway. My sister looked him in the eye and said “the way your being treated, Jesus wouldn’t have stood for.” I was surprised but I realized it was true.

  • @Alexa-kb7fl
    @Alexa-kb7fl 4 года назад +7

    Thank you Fr. Mike -- I’ve always had difficulty setting boundaries, so this lesson is very helpful for me - especially when the advice is from a priest like yourself.

  • @jonnahdee9202
    @jonnahdee9202 6 лет назад +1

    Yes!!! Dr. Henry Cloud & John Townsend

  • @milenapelegrino6212
    @milenapelegrino6212 6 лет назад +2

    Thank you father! My challenge now is to set boundaries between my work and family. I love my work, so it is easy for me to work long hours but when I do that I am not available for my family (and I fell tired, possible moody and guilt). And when, I chose my family I feel guilt of not working. And, often after this emotional thriller I found myself exhausted, and I need a moment for myself. This video make me realise that boundaries are health. That they are Christian. And that will bring balance to better serve God and our families.

  • @gillianpedersen52
    @gillianpedersen52 6 лет назад +15

    I really need to set Boundaries against myself too I say yes to everyone..And people use this to their advantage.

  • @franciscolozanojr.
    @franciscolozanojr. 6 лет назад +12

    Father I saw you In a video in my comformation class from the Chosen program and i flipped when I saw you😂

  • @KurffyOfficial
    @KurffyOfficial 6 лет назад +7

    Sometimes i forget about what I can and can't do when i want to live a life with christ..thank you Fr.Mikr

  • @miguelperea5378
    @miguelperea5378 6 лет назад +10

    You inspire me to be happy Father Mike! I’m struggling In the area of legality or legalism however you want to call it. I think that I can gain God’s love by my works. I know it’s not the truth but I keep falling time and time. I pray that everyone who is going through a similar situation finds clarity. 🙏 thanks Ascension Presents! I love this channel

  • @clairemackness7974
    @clairemackness7974 6 лет назад +62

    ❤️Hi father! Thanks for always posting such great advice and thanks for always being excited and enthusiastic to preach!!❤️

    • @jefffresh1745
      @jefffresh1745 6 лет назад +3

      @hope hope / We have biological fathers whom we call father. Yes, all Glory goes to the Father in heaven. As catholic christians we understand this also.

    • @michaelknapp8074
      @michaelknapp8074 6 лет назад

      Travel with me to Revelation 2 and 3. Jesus gave a revelation to John about 7 churches. There were more than 7 churches that existed at this time, but he specifically gave a revelation to these churches. In this letter he gives them a compliment for what they are doing right, criticisms for what they are doing wrong, and suggestions for how to improve. Basically like a report card for the church. What's mind blowing, is that these letters are prophetic. The exact same struggles each of these churches had are the exact same struggles the church has had since Jesus resurrection until his second coming. The church of Ephesus represents the first church. The church from 30ad to around 70 ad. They had folks who tried to introduce false doctrine, but they didn't tolerate it. They were on fire for God, but they were losing sight of their first love. The second church was Smyrna. Smyrna is where we get the word MYRRH. The word MYRRH means suffering or death. This church was persecuted heavily under the 10 Roman Empires from 70ad to 300 ad. The next church was Pergamus. This is a compound word meaning PER- Mixed or objectionable and GAMUS meaning Marriage. It's where we get the words polyGAMY and monoGAMY. Anyway, this was the mixed marriage church. It's when paganism and Christianity mixed under the leadership of Constantine. Constantine converted pagan temples to Christian churches, Pagan priest to Christian priest, Pagan Celebrations to Christian celebrations. It's where we get the traditions of Easter, Christmas, etc. It's where SUNDAY comes from. Pagans worshiped their false God's on Sunday, but Christians worshiped on Saturday. Constantine merged the two and called in SUNDAY in honor of the SUN GOD. .... All this is historical and Biblical. Visit romancatholicism.com - Roman Catholicism history, doctrine, etc. for more info.

    • @travismulvaney4895
      @travismulvaney4895 6 лет назад

      .

    • @travismulvaney4895
      @travismulvaney4895 6 лет назад

      .

  • @marciafab7
    @marciafab7 6 лет назад +2

    It takes great wisdom to judge different situations. May love and justice be our compass. Thank you for this video. 🌹#Christourmuse

  • @sonyaneal6539
    @sonyaneal6539 7 месяцев назад

    Thank you Fr. so much for this discussion in setting boundaries with family members. My sister specifically. I needed to hear this today.
    Peace, Joy and Love in the Most Holy Light of Christ Jesus.

  • @eileen1820
    @eileen1820 6 лет назад +14

    God bless you all! 😊

    • @eileen1820
      @eileen1820 6 лет назад

      @Padraig Flanagan Thanks so much! I love your Gaelic name!

    • @user00578___
      @user00578___ 4 года назад

      you too!

  • @paulrubio3918
    @paulrubio3918 5 лет назад +2

    I appreciate your perspective. I feel like my mindset leans too much toward, "I have to be sacrificial like Christ was and serve others, not counting the cost to myself", but you clearly state it actually makes sense to set boundaries and ensure I can be at my best in serving others, just as Jesus took time for rest.

  • @florencegata3463
    @florencegata3463 3 года назад +3

    Thank you Father Mike..just what I needed this very moment.
    God is truly guiding me.🙏🙏🙏

  • @klausehrhardt4481
    @klausehrhardt4481 4 года назад +2

    Jesus was also available to those merchants in the temple and he knew well enough how to switch into badass mode: believe me, under certain circumstances, charity requires us to kick some butts for their own sake.

  • @candacebex4370
    @candacebex4370 2 года назад

    This pierced my heart. I don't necessarily have this with people but I do with food. I can't cut out food. In fact I happened upon a book by a Christian woman called "the Renewung of the Mind project" and it is all about setting boundaries to create new habits or stop bad habits in your life. She teaches three forms of renewing your mind :scripture memorization, conversations with God (guided prayer) and a technique she calls truth journaling so we can stop lying to ourselves or use false justifications. I used her methods with great success to lose weight and live within boundaries. But then I lost my way. She talks greatly about boundaries keep us safe because they keep us living in the stronghold of God. When you said boundaries helps the other person serve you it really was God speaking to me to return to him. Food should serve its purpose with me. It is a gift. But I need to practice boundaries so it doesn't grow to take a place in my life beyond its purpose.

  • @trischgockly
    @trischgockly 7 месяцев назад

    Thanks Father Mike ❤

  • @antihuman007
    @antihuman007 6 лет назад +6

    Oh my word. I can not express how badly I needed this. I'm going to read this book in like a week tops, just completely changed my view on things.

  • @paolapetriortiz183
    @paolapetriortiz183 6 лет назад +3

    This was the video I needed to watch today. I'm an entrepreneur and my job implies helping people with eating disorders, and I become so attached to people who reach out and feel responsible for them, so sometimes they end up taking up my whole life. And conversely, a lot of people in my life don't understand how hard it is to build a business and they think just because I don't have a 9 to 5 job I must be free and always available to meet, talk, help... I'm trying to juggle everything at once and feel so overwhelmed and anxious. This video really helped to clear up my mind. Thank you so much.

  • @fadiajokhaji
    @fadiajokhaji 6 лет назад +5

    I don't know how i came upon your videos but i'm glad i did. i love your videos and your soul. God bless you Father

  • @newgalwaygirl
    @newgalwaygirl 5 лет назад +1

    This was the video I needed to see today! Praise God for our priests and in particular for Fr. Mike! Praying for all priests that they will speak the wisdom and truth of God always! 🙏

  • @Kinson09
    @Kinson09 5 лет назад +1

    Very helpful Fr. Mike; especially the bit at 3:25 where you mention that there are people in your life who need you, and, need you to set boundaries!

  • @wilbeugre
    @wilbeugre 3 года назад +1

    I am so glad I came across this video
    I wish I took that adice more seriously in the past
    I easily give to people...but it took me an "almost burnout" (if not a real one) to realize that I should establish boundaries
    One of my dearest friend would say: "you cannot serve if you're not actually capable to, because you don't take enough care of yourself"...so true
    God bless you

  • @brandibrooks9076
    @brandibrooks9076 5 лет назад +5

    This is so helpful to me Father. I have been struggling with setting Boundaries with close family and friends. This really helped me understand why its necessary. Thank you!

  • @merci8545
    @merci8545 6 лет назад +2

    okay this is really crazy because I just talked about this with my friend on Thursday night and now this video kinda builds on what we talked about and I really appreciate the information he gives the people. Thank you for spreading the grace of God

  • @scarlettstoever8093
    @scarlettstoever8093 2 года назад +1

    This is the best explanation on boundaries I’ve come across. Thank you Father Mike!

  • @Nunwannabe1234
    @Nunwannabe1234 Год назад +1

    That was super helpful, I'm not great at establishing boundaries cuz I don't want to get people annoyed with me, but I'd be a happier person and I think they'd be happier with the honesty as long as it is gentle honesty. Thanks Father! Mike!

  • @undercoverhamster2549
    @undercoverhamster2549 6 лет назад

    We ARE united to the divinity! God is within each one of us.

  • @judyschell8533
    @judyschell8533 5 лет назад +2

    Hi Father Mike Schmidz
    Thank you for teaching us things we've forgotten over the years and you make it easy to understand. God Bless you

  • @rossanasepulveda3782
    @rossanasepulveda3782 2 года назад +1

    Father Mike you are so right and it's good to get affirmation that God will understand our limitations. I love your videos.

  • @gracey5512
    @gracey5512 Год назад

    This was so helpful now when I'm getting ready to move out. I love my mom, but she's dependent and controlling, and doesn't see why her actions are stressing me out. I'll be nearby; but this way, I can start living my own life. I'm hoping that this is also better for our mother-daughter relationship

  • @Emma-gi6hy
    @Emma-gi6hy 5 лет назад +2

    Thank you so much father for this awesome sermon. This is exactly what I'm going through right now. It's very hard for me to say no to charities and then It affects my whole life situations, responsibilities and financially. I like to help people when they need me. Your advice has helped me sooo much!! Thank you, Father. God always bless you!!

  • @RanMouri82
    @RanMouri82 6 лет назад +1

    Super important topic. Thank you, Fr. Mike! Also, your Scriptural reflection on Our Lord's boundaries reminds me of when He welcomed the children. The Apostles were trying to do crowd control and shoo the parents with kids away, but Our Lord told them "No, let the children come to me." So He declared the parameters of His boundaries at that time.

  • @roniquebreauxjordan1302
    @roniquebreauxjordan1302 6 лет назад +11

    RESPECT !! Oh my goodness Fr, Mike. .,.that one word means more than ...

  • @earthygardens4599
    @earthygardens4599 6 лет назад +1

    I always am sweet .I have a sickness that i have had it all my life .people will respond to posative ..Cause i have five to seven kids that i work with .
    The last four days I had the flu .no flu shot that also gives me the flue .I of couse got it from baby sitting .no dont get paid .Thats ok .When i had my widdows .One nurse said to me .Dont let stress get to you if it is stressful get out of it
    I didnt even talk to my best friend for a yr.I went forward as always .Always knowing that things can cause u stress you dont need .Thank you father Mike .

  • @usjmydin1802
    @usjmydin1802 3 года назад

    My brother sent this to me....I really appreciate this, I should have known this before, but better late then never...i love people but after getting kicked in the gut Many time....I'm turning sour....this helps, thank you.

  • @zelda4678
    @zelda4678 7 месяцев назад

    THANK YOU FOR THIS FR MIKE ❤

  • @mytruepower2
    @mytruepower2 3 года назад +1

    "Relationships that kind of drain you, but you also feel you have an obligation." So, every relationship then.

  • @DrexelGregory
    @DrexelGregory 6 лет назад +18

    Incredible. This is exactly what I needed right now.

  • @donnawaite9213
    @donnawaite9213 6 лет назад +2

    Thank you Father Mike..... This conversation was the answer to one of my prayers 🙏

  • @michaelorsini9695
    @michaelorsini9695 4 года назад +1

    Boundaries are very important. I've even had to cut off relationships that were not healthy to the point they were bordering on being abusive.

  • @maureenangiuli4041
    @maureenangiuli4041 6 лет назад +2

    I do needed to hear this right now Father Mike... Setting boundaries with my son who is an addict is the hardest task I've ever had to do. I couldn't do it for over 15 years. But I set it out in writing and vocally to him finally. I was feeling guilty because it seems like a contrary attitude as a Catholic mother...I was feeling so guilty! But your talking about how Jesus set boundaries was awesome for me to hear tonight! Thank you so much for all the great videos you share with me here in RUclips. God bless you always!!

  • @IceWolve67
    @IceWolve67 4 года назад +2

    I needed this. Too many times did I grew to close to people and then, when I felt it was dangerous due to me not setting boundaries. It was too late. Especially with people from the other sex

  • @soohoonhur6888
    @soohoonhur6888 6 лет назад +4

    The introduction makes me laugh. And establishing boundary is what I need to learn. Thank you Father. God bless you.

  • @R_Thomp
    @R_Thomp Год назад

    Thank you Father