The Star Wars Universe Doesn't Work | April Fools
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- Опубликовано: 31 мар 2024
- Decades of nonsensical details, terrible worldbuilding, and poor decisions have ruined the Star Wars universe. In this deep dive, we figure out where it all went wrong.
The Templin Institute. Investigating alternate worlds.
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Background music: slaps.
Ending music "Battle Forever" used under license from Shutterstock.com. 
Развлечения
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Finally someone sticking it to the woke mob and Woke-Disney corporation. Thank you for making this very rational and non-musical statement.
Here’s a brain buster for ya: I’m Trans and I didn’t like the Last Jedi. I know, I know, seems like a mathematical quantum impossibility right?
@@jakespacepiratee3740correct, which is why I deduce that you are a synthetic organism created by the shadow government for the sole purpose of destabilizing youtube
Here’s a brain buster for ya: I’m a Jedi and I didn’t like the Jedi Order. I know, I know, seems like a mathematical quantum impossibility right?
Its also sticking to the ones that attacks fans of star wars as well. First rule of a joke. No one is immune from it and I'm glad they are going after both the creators of current star wars and its fans that are not fans. its a good laugh.
LGBT people exist and deserve representation, so cope and seethe.
I cannot wait to see the comments section here in a couple years when everyone reads the title and is too lazy to check the release date and assume it’s genuine
Or quite possibly tomorrow XD
It was glorious, omg a fun watch to anyone who didn't go beyond the video title.
I prefer Legends
Well for me it's April 2nd when it was posted so it kinda falls flat and was abit confusing at first
Date or not. SW is bad.
No one's slick as Andor
No one's quick as Andor
No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Andor's
No one's in love with Jabba like Andor!
When he was a lad he ate 1 dozen eggs so he could finally get large
Now that he’s all grown up he eats 2 dozen eggs and is roughly the size of a space barge
And release Season 2 I'M ANTICIPATING!
Gosh, it disturbs me to see you, Andor
Looking so down in the dumps
Every guy here'd love to be you, Andor
Even when taking your lumps
There's no man in town as admired as you
You're everyone's favorite guy
Everyone's awed and inspired by you
And it's not very hard to see why!
No one's slick as Andor
No one's quick as Andor
No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Andor
For there's no man in town half as manly!
Perfect, a pure paragon!
You can ask any Fett, Din or Obi
And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on!
No one's been like Andor
A king pin like Andor
No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Andor
As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating!
My, what a guy, that Andor!
Give five "hurrahs!" Give twelve "hip-hips!"
Andor is the best and the rest is all drips!
No one fights like Andor
Douses lights like Andor
In a rebelling match, nobody bites like Andor!
For there's no one as burly and brawny
As you see, I've got biceps to spare
Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny.
That's right! And every last inch of me's covered with hair!
No one hits like Andor
Matches wits like Andor
In a shooting match, nobody shoots like Andor
I'm especially good at Stormtrooper killing! Ptoooie!
Ten points for Andor!
When I was a lad, I ate four dozen eggs
Ev'ry morning to help me get large
And now that I'm grown, I eat five dozen eggs
So I'm roughly the size of a barge
No one shoots like Andor
Makes those beauts like Andor
Then goes tromping around
Wearing boots like Andor!
I use blasters in all of my decorating!
All true
Not a single comment about how a meal costs 500 credits, a bounty is 5000 credits a starfighter costs 50000 credits and a capital ship costs 5000000 credits? So a Star Fighter costs 100 meals, and a capital ship costs 10,000 nerf burgers and fries?
Sensible economic valuation is not something most writers think about...or the laws of relative explosive power.
Look back at the original cross-section books, a Star Destroyers Turbolasers have an energy yield of 30 Terajoules.
That's about half the energy released from the A-Bomb dropped on Hiroshima and that would be in each shot.
@@xboxman1710 It's why it's best to keep things vague unless you math it out. The 30 terajoules is at least somewhat reasonable for massive space ship weapons. I remember Mass Effect had the main gun of capital ships be 3x the bomb and even had a funny bit of dialogue of an officer explaining to cadets that's why you wait for a firing solution and don't just fire from the hip
Yeah, it's what happens when someone takes a TTRPG sourcebook as serious fact. That's where a lot of those price numbers come from, after all. These are likely numbers made to make sense to a particular game or tabletop system, not actual reasonable prices.
Your numbers aren't as accurate as you like to think, friend. But I get it, people don't realize SW is going through massive inflation.
Did you not know credits work on a logarithmic scale?
The last thing I expected from this channel was a musical and that mark is actually good at singing. What a pleasant surprise
A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one.
@WilliamFord972 ah yes the negotiater
*Gilbert and Sullivan present “Pirates of Penzance,” or “The Slave I of Duty.”*
Okay, this is legit the best April Fools thing I've seen all day...
Ohh it’s a April fools joke
I mean, Montu Plays did a pretty solid one...
@@tbphillips9649yup
Sarcasm infused with a little bit of truth finally a great april fools joke you guys rocked this
It's not an april fools joke though
"What's your favorite space series? Star Trek or Star Wars?"
Me: "The Expanse."
"But if you could choose Star Trek or Star Wars, which would it be?
Me: "The Orville."
The Orville is the best Star Trek series we have gotten in like 2 decades. I don't know why they didn't just call it Star Trek: Orville though because that would have been more fitting obviously...
@@ethanduncan1646Copyright reasons.
@@toreadum8ass I was joking. I know Orville was meant to be originally a party but it legitimatly has done a better job at being Star Trek than actual star trek
"OK, but if you had to only Star Trek and Star Wars to watch, which one would it be?"
"Babylon 5."
@@ethanduncan1646@ethanduncan1646 That was the plan, but Paramount turned down Seth McFarlin's pitch to run Star Trek shows.
A musical?
"The horror...the horror..."
I get that this is an April Fool's joke, but it's actually true. It's a series that has some iconic imagery and decades of pop culture domination, and that's basically all it offers me.
You really need to revaluate star wars. The dark side represents the modern obsession with power and technology. Vader the quintisential sith is a cyborg, he became this way over fear, fear of loosing the ones he loves. He craved power to save those he loved, which is what the darkside is about. It's unnatural and tears at your soul, and in Vader's case his very body. The light side is Buddhist wisdom, you don't kill off the love you have with others like the prequel Jedi have you just accept the temporary nature of things and don't smother things out of fear of loss. Anakin could not see this, neither did the wider galaxy as they traded their freedom, their souls for power and security under the boot of the empire. We were doing exactly that when the prequels were being written (Patriot act cough cough). Nothing brings this cowardice to light than the clone army, literally a private, industrialized military made in a tube to fight for the republic. An army of slaves, stronger than any conventional military, but unethical and built on mass misery. This army is what would eventually hold the rest of the galaxy under its heel
@@phil3751 okay but like, you can get just as much symbolism and metaphor out of a single episode of Star Trek or Babylon 5, but with the added benefit of great writing, three dimensional characters, and great examples of long term storytelling to go with it. I used to be a huge star wars fan, until I watched more science fiction and got a deeper appreciation for the genre and what it was capable of. Star Wars just doesn't give me anything that I want or didn't know I wanted, it's just a mush of shallow callbacks and vague gestures at cool looking tech and aliens. Maybe Andor is different, I dunno I haven't watched it, but I just don't find it's themes, characters or worlds engaging anymore.
@@Level_1_Frog I can't agree, I used to watch Star Trek all the time and it never really spoke to me as much as star wars. If something is truly meaningful it lasts the tests of time in the public consciousness. We still make memes about Revenge of the sith 20 years after it's release, and that's not because it's funny, the bad dialogue is funny but people make memes about batman, who really doesn't have much humor, but because it's left a lasting imprint on public consciousness . It's the Shakespearian tragedy of Othello in space, as a galactic civilization collapses around them. I haven't seen star trek try anything of that caliber
@@Level_1_Frog Haha laser sword go vwooom
@@Level_1_Frog The reason star wars is still kicking dying as it may be, while star trek and Babylon five are already buried is because those stories are just sci Fi. Sci Fi is just speculative culture. It's a cool intellectual discussion for friends at a cafe but it isn't about the human soul or anything really important (on a day to day living level, macro level it's pretty important). Most hard sci fi gets dated real quick and I rarely rewatch any of them. Star wars is about the heroes journey in space. An eternal piece of the human experience and that's why it outlasted hard sci fis like the foundation, I robot, etc (I read all of these). Just in the same way lord of the rings survived game of thrones. The one dimensional characters are the Superior breed.
I don't know.....he's still pretty vague about his feelings on Andor.
I mean, duh it doesn't work. Anyone who's heard of the concept of "Economic repercussions of the destruction of the Death Star" knows it well. We still enjoy it anyway.
That's not true the Empire has tens of thousands of systems with populated planets one Death Star or two blowing isn't going to mean anything when they have 15,000 Imperial Star destroyers in their fleet.
@@greatsageequaltoheaven8115it's more equivalent to America's latest and greatest super carrier being sunk by pirates in speedboats.
@@greatsageequaltoheaven8115 And half of those systems are unpopulated, backwater, or have no economic value whatsoever
And the Death Star took up a huge amount of imperial resources
Well if you're bringing economics into the table it should be said that military hardware doesn't add anything to the overall economy once completed.
So if the death star could bring economic collapse to the empire it would do so wetter was completed or not since the cost is all that matters since again there's no economic gain once finished.
And while the death star was certainly a huge cost still the empire doesn't seem to have been broke once it got finished and they even made a second one even faster which indicates they certainly could pay for them even if they were crazy expensive.
Kinda like the nuclear program.
Was crazy expensive but even if it wasn't capable of creating a nuke once the war ended still he US wasn't going to go broke because of it.
Just like actually finishing them didn't create any finantial recovery or gain.
@@ambientlightofdarknesss4245not even that, it's like an American destroyer or patrol boat being blown up by pirates. Realistically the empire could field thousands of death stars, they just don't need to because their only enemy is the rebel alliance who by all accounts shouldn't have managed to destroy it lmao
I hope next year we get a Gilbert and Sullivan-esq explanation of why star trek doesn't work
I'm the monarch of the ga-la-xy. The ruler of Seventeen-oh-one-dee! Whose valiance the Federation will loudly chant- (And we are his Counselor, his Doctor, and his Number One)
This, I need this in my life. @@veronicavaes4581
I once made a petition to have all of Star Wars media pivot and become centered around and styled like Andor.
I am now making a petition to have all Templin Institute videos be big musical numbers.
Deep down you know there is a reality where this is a thing. You were just born in the wrong universe.
“Search your feelings, you know it to be true!”
I would legitimately sign that petition
Huh, Marc surprisingly has a decent singing voice. And I sense that Marc may like the Andor TV show.
Quite the melodic April Fools video. Neat to see SWE also make a cameo.
“Their senate sits in silence while syndulla is a fascist” that beginning hit me hard
The fact, that Templin didn't mention Clone Wars or Rebels just cements, how good these shows are.
Andor
Rebels SNEAK
The Bad Batch is actually alright, kind of like the CW+!
Bad batch being clone wars + makes you just wonder why they didn’t finish all the episodes in their s7 of clone wars. The best parts of BB are just a continuation of plots and characters from CW, the group the whole show is centered around is not great. Not even terrible, just so bland, the only thing interesting is crosshair. Would have made more sense for them to be delta squad, which also just makes more sense in the lore than literally having superhero clones.
@@bionodroid547 Literally anything else would've been preferable to "the Rise of Skywalker Damage Control, starring OmEHga and the Dad Batch."
Judging by the fact that there is no link to the background music for the song, the conclusion I have come to is that the Templin Institute (and possibly Star Wars Explained) composed this masterpiece themselves, and I'm all for it.
It's a miracle the SW universe didn't fall into the 40K phase, with every side building and using their own superweapons like they were snowballs.
I hope you're kidding :P Someone will be mentioning World Devastators, Torpedo Spheres, RoS's climax soon.
thats what happened in Legends
@@accountname9506 yeah. No Sun-eating dragons created by the Empire, though.
@@juliovictormanuelschaeffer8370 I think the Suncrusher fills that spot pretty well
@@juliovictormanuelschaeffer8370 Yet.
Everyone knows Star Wars peaked with Caravan of Courage
Lol
nah nah christmas special for sure!
@@Hel1mutt caravan of courage is decent though.
@@michaellane5381it was honestly.
The sequel was... Odd.
Personally I miss the reaaaallly old cartoon that people didn't realize was star wars
@@TruthHunterTeen the droids one or the Ewok's one with Wicket and his GF and their wizard Elder?
H-HOW DARE YOU say something like that! If it's with Disney's Canon and the Legends post-Vong War galaxy, I agree
Someone who finally understand how atrocious the Legacy era was.
This whole song reminds me of "Blame Canada"
It's official: Star War's downfall is all Canada's fault. Now if you excuse me, I have a Terrence and Phillip to fry at the USO show later. DOWN WITH THE MAPLE LEAF AND UP WITH THE STRIPES!
Cool, grab them and I’ll bring Brian Boitano :)
the pain of being australian is that everything released on april fools is not on april fools
Because - despite how much I still enjoy it - the Star Wars universe has a lot of issues in multiple categories (eg: focus issues, logistical issues, etc), I can't tell if this is intended as an April Fools joke or if it's just a coincidence...
Did you actually watch the video? Of course it’s an April fools joke
I mean, grain of truth...@@pupulauls
@@pupulaulsan April Fool's Day joke about Mark ranting about his grievances with the Star Wars franchise in song.
@@pupulauls the comment came from before it premiered and I haven't watched it yet because I find April Fools Day videos to usually be cringe inducing...
@@Jedi_Spartan_38 so you added your opinion with out even watching it lmaooo??
Peak internet user behavior lmao
Okay, when the music started was like "what's happening? Did I click the wrong video?"
I didn't know that I needed to hear the templin institute perform a musical, but god I needed to hear them perform a musical.
When you came to the praising of Andor, Hail Andor the best Star Wars content ever made!
Holy crap I tuned into a 1950's musical, but in space.
Rogue One is still the best Star Wars movie since the original trilogy and no one can change my mind. Cool battles, stakes that make sense in universe, expanded a bit of the story and just a touch of fan service. It was at its core what Star Wars did best: take classic stories and tropes and put them in this space fantasy world. The OT was some classic heroes journey stuff. Rogue One was your classic military unit sent on a suicide mission for the greater good.
Do you know why Rogue One was good. ? Because it was made by someone who genuinely loves SW, not someone who only seeks to profit and make half-a$$ed tv series and movies like the sequel trilogy
Truth, but the sequels weren't bad for the reasons everyone says they were. They were bad because pointless mystery boxes and they failed to properly explain what Luke Skywalker did at the end of TLJ. And also, Rey should have been the daughter of some minor named character either from the shows or another movie. You can't set up a mystery and then be like "oh, doesn't matter".
@@sophiejones3554 the sequels were bad because of many many things, bastardization of our beloved characters and stories. Ridiculous plotholes, bland and dull world building, etc...in conclusion it's a complete travesty
@@sophiejones3554 I mean, that was a big part of the complaints? Pointless set-up and random ass-pulls. That and such contrived incompetence among major character that it breaks all immersion. Characters can and should make mistakes, but there's a level of dumb that's not acceptable. I expect my vice admirals to understand that crew morale matters as does communicating your plans to your senior officers.
My even bigger complaint is their whole "Jaws and Bigger Jaws" way of doing things. Death Star the size of a moon? New Order has one the size of a planet! (somehow in like two decades after the fall of the empire) Rebels were the underdogs? Well now we will make them down to three tiny ships and a single fighter wing and a few hundred people against the super-mega destroyer and a massive fleet (but then a massive random fleet of allies show up a movie later). The New Order had more people in one column in their propaganda rallies than the resistance had. Like come on guys...
They though bigger is better and it just falls flat. No originality, just trying to play the old hits but thinking that turning up the volume to 10 makes it better.
@@WWFanatic0 what I heard the most chatter about was the interracial romance, how Luke wasn't "manly" anymore (he was never "manly" by their trash definitions) and Holdo. None of which were actual problems, or even related to the actual problems. I know that intelligent Star Wars fans such as yourself exist, but you aren't the majority of people talking about Star Wars on the internet. I heard nothing about the actual problems with the movie until the next film was already released.
"severe and prolonged lapses in judgement," ok well played
lol this is an April fools joke
Sadly it's all true. Nearly everything after the originals and prequels sucks.
bro even those films arnt amazing and contradicts itself all the time @@elricthebald870
And yet, they spoke truth.
@@elricthebald870ANDOOOOOR
The Templin Institute became the Tempo Institute 🎶
"why Beethoven's symphony No.5 1st movement is perfect"
I'd be interested in an actual analysis on this subject. I get the sequel trilogy but why wouldn't the rest of the Star Wars universe would not work.
Happy April Fools’ Day, but this was an unironic bop and I want more.
"There is nothing like Andor" -- Bladerunner would like to know your location
Edit: I loved it
Tbh star wars has the same problem every large IP has wherein dozens of writers touched the driving wheel. I see it in every IP I am a interested in studying.
One of the biggest things I find rather interesting is how the trilogies seem to define big eras in storytelling though it could just be the difference in real world time between the trilogies.
Stuff after the OT wss very different in how it viewed star wars history (clone wars being clones vs the good guys for example), the force (lightsabers being force sabers, no midichlorians, etc).
Then the pt came and star wars seems to have gotten a bit harder and less fantastical in it's wbing as well as a lucasfilm trying to edit, define and refine cannon.
Then you get to the ST wherein things seem to be getting more fantastical and lucasfilm seems to have abandoned having a firm canon ane going more the route 40k took of "everything is a true tale" lol.
A retcon, but I do think it would make sense for a lot of outer rim people to view the clones as the bad guys
@@TombaFanatic definitely on planets like a loyalist separatist world
The bad batch would be a little bit better if echo got more screen time.
Absolutely glorious. I didn't know of Hammerstein modes existence till now, but it now requires a yearly installment for entertainment and humiliation purposes.
I expect to see musical numbers as a regular staple of incoming for the indefinite future. it is the will of the people.
You can still hear that scream throughout the multiverse to this day
Who made the OG thumbnail image?
This is partly why legends still matters.
Moral of the story: "y-yeah, just go watch Andor."
I thought this was April fools but every lyric is 100% true
several lyrics are wrong.
We need a templin video in wireframe mode.
Fuck every April fools it happens. It’s the second of April for me and the first for America and the EU.
Can't wait for Andor season two.
When will this be on Spotify?
great vid... though the song part slightly graded until you got to the bit of Andor/Gaston parody
SWE cameo in a Templin Institute update and and a Templin Institute bit in a Battle Order video on the same day
The institute-verse is certainly growing
More Hammerstein mode
I love this channel’s April 1st videos!
I would never in a million years have guessed that something like this would come from this channel... bravo!
Brilliant! Andor rules!
Cant wait for more analyzed content from this channel!!!
smh nobody wants to work anymore - not even beloved science fiction franchises
for me every shitty Star Wars moment was worth it so long as we get Andor to finish properly. Oh and Bad Batch is AWESOME.
I consider the 2008 clone wars to be disney canon and the 2003 the old EU canon as the 2008 shits all over what was established prior to its release
Bruh I didn't expect a impromptu musical
Andor = GOAT Starwars content since OG series.
I want the Templin Institue to make its own Star Wars musical fan film now.
Okay next year can we activate Sondheim mode to talk about Babylon 5?
Scrumptious. Delightful. I adore it this as much as that speech in Andor that ends with "I give my life for a sunrise I will never get to see."
I wasnt expecting a song to be honest
I suppose technically the original thrawn trilogy is no longer cannon
That’s not a technically it just isn’t
Two days since April fools and I’m still listening to it over and over again. Just absolutely excellent
Why does the songs beat sound so similar to "I haven't seen old Hitler"?
I like the bad batch, mostly, I just think that a lot of people dropped off after season 1 because it was kinda boring. Some parts of the bad batch are unnecessary or even outright bad, but over all it's ok.
In this last episode I must agree with everything Marc said, very interesting, I really liked the point that yes, that child is annoying
Hearing him just say "Shit..." out of nowhere get me good XD
Can we get more Hammerstein mode?
I... Now hate you a little mark you got like a dame stuck in my head mixing with this 😢.
Well done
WE KILLING STAR WARS FOR THE HUNDREDTH TIME WITH THIS ONE 🗣🗣🔥🔥
I half expected to see the JibJab outro on this. That was fantastic!
The only recent release I am enjoying is The Bad Batch. It seems they can only do things right in the animations
I would have enjoyed a perfectly normal break down of your reasoning and arguments. Liked for the musical!
This has been the greatest april 1st suprises yet!
Was Andor really that magical? I haven't watched it tbh....
You know, all they had to do was make Palpatine a force ghost like Obi Wan and they could have had their big bad and made sense. Instead they went with surviving a nuclear explosion without a fridge in sight.
I saw this on the 2nd and when I saw the length of the video and considering the plethora of Star Wars videos they have done, I knew this had to be an April Fool’s gag. Nice. :)
Took me a while. Bravo
Love that Family Guy style chorus line thing you got going here
I’m not gonna lie, but this video was pretty damn sweet! Can we have more of these songs please? They’re just so catching awesome!
Well done! ❤👏🏻
May the force be with you.
The fact that someone with a sizable ship could conceivably assume a stationary orbit over any planet or city without significant defenses and just bombard them into oblivion, is something that you think would be addressed and/or at least be a concern to most people...
This was more or less the case in the Golden Age of Piracy, ships could in theory lay waste to a city with ease, but you wouldn't know it from how people lived their daily lives
Still, more recognition of this in the story (like we see in S3 of Mando) would be good
Amazing. You summarized all the problems in Star Wars in a beautiful and hilarious 4 minute song😂
Was about to say "oh boy here we flippin' go again!" And then I realized what day it was! LOL!
Uh oh.... I'll be back in a week to read comments
God damnit Templin... You got me again🤦🏽♂ And this is after I *just* commented the other day on SpaceDock about your April Fools joke last year with _The Hunt For Red October._
Fool me once, shame on you! Fool me twice, its still shame on you! I refuse to be fooled again by you guys next year!!!
this was so amazing. it needed more views!
+1 to the closed captions ending
I wonder what this video would have been like if a different debug mode had been selected...
This is amazing yet somehow it's only the second best April's Fools video the Insitute has participated in today.
2:35 Make sure to pause and read the text or you are missing out on a really funny joke
My big problem with Star Wars is why Stormtroopers are not in CAMOUFLAGE.
Excellent work Templin Institute :) One of your great April Fools, love the musical, fun stuff!
The funniest thing in the Star Wars universe is that, why the Empire didn't disarm its population and abolish local autonomy before imposing its tyranny? Imagine Star Destroyers are shelling cities from orbit, and the only thing local people have to fight back are rocks and shovels.
Why would the Empire want to do that? It’s pointless. The Empire is a government, it’s not just gonna go around to every world under its control and take everyone’s weapons away and bombard them, because that’s how you piss people off. Before the events of the OT and escalation of the Rebellion, the Empire did evil things in more mundane ways that didn’t incite much revolution or political dissidence like cutting off supply chains, cultural genocide, silent takeovers and political annexations where not a single blaster is fired, and more
I think the problem there is the nature of the Empire's territory. It would be like the US in 1870 when they outlawed open carry, but it was only the cities on the east coast region that paid attention to that. The Outer Rim is like the wild west, people just do what they want or need to.
@@robertgronewold3326 Whatever, it would be silly to let your people hate you while they have some of the best weapons in existence.
Same reason gun laws don't work in Brazil. Engineering knowledge spread over a large enough population (100 Quadrillion) with large amounts of said population being engineers and involved in crime means the 2nd amendment is self sustaining (people know how to make... Fun stuff)
Like the Ewoks? 🦧
Loved the video🎉
TL;DR : Star Wars lasted so long it contradicted itself, ending up making less sense and having less interesting things to say in general, show after show (something actually inevitable).
You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.
I am all for a Templin musical for every video! At the very least, if they ever explore any musical reality, they must sing!
I know this was April 1st but I kinda genuinely feel this way ever since the Sequels trundled all over the extended universe. There were some really cool ideas but something is so frustrating.