I find this shocking! I grew up in the Finger Lakes of NY where we interacted and were friends with Amish and Mennonite families and saw first hand the huge volleyball parties, the buggies/carts coming and going from signings, watched the shenanigans of the youth which often were more wild than anything I was allowed to do. But these details are pretty shocking to me. I’d heard about bundling, but was told they were wrapped up and had a board between them and aren’t allowed to touch. These details reveal quite a different situation 😳. My parents were way, way more strict than that!
Bless your heart, I feel like you're turning red talking about dating...AWWWWW. 🙏🙏🙏 Thank you for sharing! I always enjoy learning about the Amish Community...
Hello from Southampton England, ive got my foot up from some surgery and was bored stiff 🙄, but ive been binge watching all your stuff 😊 so interesting im hooked, thankyou for making all this so interesting 👏👏👏👍🙋♀️
Thank you CJ. I can tell that talking about some of this is a little uncomfortable for you, but it’s really interesting. It helps to understand the different types of Amish culture, and allows me to empathize with their situations and struggles.
Yes, I watched Eli's interview and am blown away with the "bundling" thing. Seems a bit to "English" like to me! Crazy it's okay to bundle, but not have a reflective triangle?!
Something your viewers may find interesting. There are many newer, smaller Amish communities that were launched by people leaving the older, larger communities because they want to avoid things they disagree with in the older communities; dating methods and traditions rank high in the things that people leave because of. I was raised in such an Amish communities. The preachers in my community often used the Northern Indiana dating habits as an example of where even their own people can go wrong. Dating was very regulated in our community. Casual dating was forbidden, and what did exist was much like "courting" where the boy had to get the girl to agree, but also the parents, before even a first date.
Sounds like the “idea” may have been also -in addition to the time factor of using horse and buggy and possibly how it started - was to give the daters an idea of what marriage is and would be with the person they are dating.🤔
I have been around the Amish and plain people most of my life. In fact for a number of year my best friend is Amish. I stayed close to him even after he married and with his young growing family. My life was changing and he ended up in the lot and ordained deacon. Out of my sincere respect I allowed our friendship to grow apart knowing he had to learn his duties. He has always been sincere about his faith and me mine. I did not want him to have any conflict with how I believe and his duty to his calling. We still talk from time to time and I miss my youth and what he his and his wife's family still mean to me. He is sincere in his duties as a Deacon. I have no doubt he understands the New Birth and loves Christ. When he started dating Bed Courtship was so odd to me and still is. My question was and still is. How do a people that on the surface seem to be pure and have maintained a number of noble Christian values end up in what seems so foul? I understand how it conflicts the community and has even caused splits over the years. I believe I know how it started a few hundred years ago it was a part of the wider culture, the horse and buggy kept it alive. With all of the folks that use a driver to take them places for everything else why not a date that starts and ends at a appropriate time. Young people are a bundle of hormones couple that with drinking often then putting them in bed together is it any wonder that sudden out of normal season a baptism and wedding have to be held. Young people will experiment but why remove barriers. I will always love and respect the Amish I pray they read the pure word of God so that they understand and truly experience the new birth and become a new creature in Christ. It's a beautiful way to live on a narrow path with the light of Christ showing the way.
I know this is kinda off topic, but I just finished reading the book you recommended “behind blue curtains” and it was really good, but very depressing. Thanks for the recommendation
Another book is recommend is "Plain Anna". It just came out and is on Amazon. I used to go to church with this woman when I was young. I had no idea of what she went through till years later. But I never went to school with their children.
😂 Amish dating explained quite well. Coming from a smaller community but having friends in larger communities, this kind of sums it up. Trying to explain it to people 🤦♀️ you realize how awful it sounds!
As an “English” it honestly sounds abusive and totally out of “normal” Interaction… (If my teen age daughter packed her bag to spend a weekend with a male would be over my dead body) it would never happen….ever…. Sending love and light your way 🙏🏼
I have a friend who left her Amish church, in part, due to what she called, "bed dating". How does such a custom find validation is a community that claims to abide by the Bible?
There is a little cake sandwich that is made all over Lancaster PA and I think it originated with the Amish, called woopie pies. Do "woopie pies" have anything to do with dating in the Amish community, or was my family (not Amish), unknowingly, just making jokes?
Good video! Long ago, I found a pamphlet that explained what "Bundling" was - what it involved. It explained that this was with parental permission, of course. But, the young couple, after they'd been seeing each other for a good while, and it looked like they'd be getting married - Then the guy would stay overnight. There would be a bed with a board down the middle, lengthwise, that separated the two overnight. This provided an opportunity to really get an understanding about what married life would be like together. After a period of time, over a few times bundling, they'd then announce plans to marry - or not. Anyway, that's it, simplified! (Yep! No sex was involved, . . . well, it wasn't supposed to!)
@@theamishpotato That's exactly what I thought when I first heard about "bundling"! (No way would I allow my son, [or even less, my daughter!] to do something like that!) It's a different "custom" and that's for sure! My ancestors came over from Switzerland back in the 1700's, speaking that dialect of German. So, my family roots go back a ways to the PA Dutch.
I would give the guys advice to make sure the girl "likes" them BEFORE they invite her. I used to be a Protestant( now I attend a Beachy Amish church), and I was invited to date 3 times by guys I "did not like". How about "FLIRTING"with her before that? The men who know art of flirting usually are more successful. When you look the girl in the eye, and if you feel response, that she gives you a green light, then invite her for a date. When those guys I did not like invited me I was shocked and surprised because they did not have an "eye contact with me, and have not even flirted'. But remember : Never flirt with married people!
The Amish group i was friends with the boys and girlswent to the singing Sunday evening, after the singing the boy would take the girl home, they would go into the living room ( no light) so I personally don't know what they did, the rest of us would set in the kitchen...the fiunny thing was when I would leave to go home myself, I would hear a voice telling me good night coming from the boys buggy...he always had to take his old maid sister home from the singing, so made her wait in the buggy till he was ready to go home. There were night when it was a little cool... lol Must have worked the have been married for a number of yrs and have grand children.. this was in South Eastern Indiana.
Oh wow. This makes me appreciate the typical first date in non Amish culture...meet for a coffee at Starbucks. How awkward to be stuck for 24 plus hours with someone when it’s not going well. 😜
Hi, I think it’s absolutely crazy how in the Amish community they sleep together on their first date. Yes I realize it happens in the “English“ world but for some reason this just seems crazy. Is there any birth-control that’s practiced? And the parents know that this possibly might be happening?
I don't think the parents always know and most don't like it. My mom tried her best to get my sisters to sleep seperately. Im sure most in my community are aware of birth control. I think most did not actually have sex on the first date in my time.
Birth control is forbidden in Amish culture. And I can’t tell you how much premarital sex exists in the Amish community. And the child sexual abuse. And animal (especially their horses) abuse, puppy milling, etc.
It's like they decided, "get it all out, get it over and done with, then we move on"...it might be the sanest solution of all others...parents trying to keep their daughters away from boys and so on.
As a parent of teenage girls would you want them to date like some of the Amish communities? I’m not sure I would have let my daughter date. I guess all we can do as parents is pray God’s protection and wisdom over them. God bless you!
Dear Mr. CJ, Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge and opinions about dating in the Amish community but I am a little confused. You mentioned cars....cars? And, the boy grabs the girls bag and takes it out of the house for her...and the parents allow this...? A girl sometimes tells her family to 'disappear'? And the father puts up with that? I know that you are giving an example from a small part of the community but it is very shocking. I am neither Amish nor Mennonite but I would never tolerate that if I had a 16 year old daughter. I agree with you 100% that the boy or man should just take her to eat out, talk there and he should bring her back home the same night. They will both know if there's any chemistry or if they even like being in each other's presence on the first or second date. Perhaps everything you described happened during rumspringa while she decided to still live at home? I notice that you were blushing and seemed so shy while you were telling the story. I find that quite sweet and refreshing. But remember, you don't have to share things that make you feel uncomfortable! May God bless you and your family. Take care. Barbara 🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
I am in the market for one of those campers or mobile homes whatever they're called.. 60 years old, I want to buy one so that I can be out in Texas and drive to Michigan. I am currently in Southern California but I want to know the best one that I should buy and I like the brand that you guys sell I really like that brand I like to cook a lot and I don't need storage for anything else maybe blankets but I just like cooking a food... Do you have any suggestions on a model that I should look at? Thanks for your help, you're a great guy.. I like your channel I like your subject I think you are awesome and the world needs more people like you! Live out your face, God has your back at all times He said he will never leave us or forsake us He has a plan for you and you are his child!!!❤️‼️
That is a question I can’t answer. It’s only used in the northern Indiana community I believe. I’m assuming that group of youth originated from Clinton township in Elkhart County. Just a guess though.
When you were telling about how they would spend the night together, my mind went instantly to a girl in my youth and her very overprotective father. It made me laugh because I know there was no way under the sun that he would have ever allowed that. As much as I liked her it would have been awkward at that point of the relationship anyway.
How would those in Rumspringa in your community decide between the Clinton Youth and the Car Youth? Was it based on family being more strict/ conservative? Or was it to the individual in Rumspringa to be able to freely decide their preferences and comfort level of cars vs buggies & Amish clothing vs English clothing? Thanks so much for describing your community and culture.
Wow! What a crazy way to date...my parents would have had a fit. Just seems like a weird way of dating 🤔 It sounds like it works for some, which is great. Blessings to you❣
Some of this sounds a lot like the culture I grew up in in Indiana among mostly Baptists and Catholics but also Lutheran Episcopalian and Mormons - we all got along pretty well. I definitely know what it's like to sleep in the same bed with a girl when be both knew to keep it PG-13 even without parental supervision. On Bundling in particular, - I have come across several variations on this in history and sometimes recent history. It involves the boy and girl in the same bed but separated. It may appear a little odd today but they were usually prevented from touching each other in some way - often sleeping in what we would call their underwear. It could be done by being literally sewn snugly into a blanket "cocoon" made for that purpose or with strips of cloth bandages. Sometimes a plank of wood would also separate them but the idea was they could sit there and talk with no danger of anything undesired happening. It also doesn't appear to be a strictly Amish thing - or even dependent upon one's faith. I'm somewhat familiar with a modern version practiced by non Amish folks in the midwest (Central Indiana) with the prospective couple each wrapped up in about 20 Ace bandages. After dinner and some activities, they would change into something like a bathing suit or unitard (something a little more than modern underwear) and they would have both legs wrapped individually and then together and arms wrapped down to their sides. (The boy and girl were totally separate) Chastity was absolutely guaranteed. Sometimes this was done in the girl's home or at a church youth group overnighter. Picture a fairly dark gymnasium with pairs of individually wrapped mummies laying on their backs and quietly talking to each other till they fell asleep. They were advised to not drink a lot of water after dinner. There were always parental chaparrones watching over. It makes you put the physical aspects on hold and get to know the person inside first. And you get to find out who snores.
I can’t imagine having a guy or guys sleep over or having a date always last overnight as a teenager especially with my parents being not just aware of this, but fully endorsing the practice & insisting that they not have sex. It’s one thing if they’re sleeping in different rooms-barely, but it’s another thing entirely if they’re sleeping in the same bed. That’s also too long for a date to last especially if it’s just the expectation.
That's so weird...sleeping together in a bed...in our communities and how we grew up, a boy wasn't even allowed in your room...you would get a beating for that...but there's a lot of innocence in your story. Listening to you, I wonder about the parents...how did they deal with the sleepovers? I don't know about sleeping in the same bed...that's just weird! This is a very controversial subject! Could you show the words that were on screen as the video ended? The thumbnails were blocking it.
Yes a very bad practice. No boy is staying in our daughters room in our house! I don’t think the parents are a fan of it but it’s been a tradition for so long that they just go along with it. Most try to raise their kids to not engage in sex but they are teens so we all know how that works.
@@theamishpotato kids will probably do it more when the parents aren't in the next room...probably do it somewhere else, than in the house, where everyone else is.
I'm astounded how quickly they get sexual so quickly. In Australia, conventional protestant Christian practices in dating seem almost puritan compared with some of these US Amish. Mind you, I like the system in The Patriot, sown in bags for the night!
@@theamishpotato thanks! I wasn't sure if it would be looked upon as worldly. I originally came from Fremont, MI and the Amish has really taken over the town. It's a very rural town of 4 thousand people and the Amish population there has exploded like crazy. They seem to be less conservative though still very perplexing to me. If they look at "English" as living in the devil's playground, why then would it be okay to ride in our cars and purchase things like Mountain Dew, disposable diapers (adult and baby) and TONS of Cool Whip? These are just a couple of things I noted when I lived there. Your first video, and also the Breaking the Silence, My Amish Story, cleared up a lot of my questions. I just never realized how different each community was. In fact, the ones back home we used to joke saying that they must be the outcasts from the PA Amish because they are a lot less strict than what we thought all Amish are.
Heeey girl! You're gonna sit on my lap ALL night while we boogie down ruff country roads. Then, you kno what? After we crash, YOU'RE gonna get up a fix me breakfast, lol.😂😃😂 You kno that's gonna go over well with Papa!
Would an Amish guy be able to marry and live with an "English" woman? And vice versa, an Amish woman able to marry and live with, in the Amish community, an "English" guy? Would the "English" have to convert their faith, learn the language, give up everything outside of Amish rules as well? What if no dates are available in a community - Will the bishops waive the rules and allow a Amish female to date outside the community in that situation? or would she be expected to live a single life?
If an English person married and Amish person the English person would have to live the Amish life. An Amish spouse wouldn’t be allowed to live in an English home.
@@theamishpotato Thanks, i saw a Schwarzentruber girl who had no date because her community would not allow her to date anyone outside her community, that's why i asked if she would be expected to live a single life, i would not blame her at all for leaving the Amish.
Anyone that wants an idea of what bundling is. Watch the movie Patriot. Heath Ledger is bundled for the night in the bed with this girl he’s in love with. It’s funny. A date for 24 hours?! What if its not going well? Longest date of your life! 😅
Going to the girls room. Two questions who opens the door ?? And if you just asked her out for the first time, how the x would you know which room is hers ??
I can’t remember anyone opening the door. Just knock and wait a second or two and walk in. Someone might yell “come on in” from somewhere. You just head upstairs and hope you get the right room. Sometimes it takes a few tries.
Ugh. Not to be rude, or sound like a jerk, I mean, it was very informative.....but I fell asleep at 13:00 and don't remember anything after that. Just a side note...I wonder how many secretely depressed Amish woman there are hidden/packed away "doing their duty" and going through the motions. I don't know, maybe I'm wrong, but I feel so sad. Oh, and I'm definitely not into that whole "partying scene" I'm quite reserved or "traditional", but I just got a very sad feeling here...
I mean no disrespect but I find this super odd and weird how they gave you guys so much freedom to have sex and make out … I would think they would be more strict? It seems that way especially if it was just first date and nothing serious like marriage related I would prefer regular dating but with respect. my bf asked my dad for permission to date me when I was around 19 lol I liked it alot
As much as we want the "ideal" situation for our kids, God gives them free choice. You may warn them as a parent about different situations in life, but they still have to make their own mistakes. I have spent many times on my knees praying for my child, since you and your wife are parents as well, I'm guessing you know about worry and all the prayers you pray for your children. Its a rite of passage - all the worry and praying! LOL But seriously, I believe "courting" is the way to go. There are Christian books out there on the subject of dating, maybe you and your wife might enjoy reading one together? I will remember you and your wife's girls in prayer. Hope you all have a wonderful 4th of July!
Wow! I do not agree at all with the dating. No way is any of my kids unmarried going to be sleeping together in my house. I fill sorry for y'all on this one. Lol
The main thing I've always wondered about the Amish is why they get away with pulling kids teeth with plyers, Not having mandatory vaccines for school. Living off grid without having to have electricity. The list goes on and on. I am left to believe they have a well paid for agreement with the Police and Government.
I find this shocking! I grew up in the Finger Lakes of NY where we interacted and were friends with Amish and Mennonite families and saw first hand the huge volleyball parties, the buggies/carts coming and going from signings, watched the shenanigans of the youth which often were more wild than anything I was allowed to do. But these details are pretty shocking to me. I’d heard about bundling, but was told they were wrapped up and had a board between them and aren’t allowed to touch. These details reveal quite a different situation 😳. My parents were way, way more strict than that!
Hark… do I see you blushing….?
Too funny… my favorite Amish guru…
Sending love and light your way 🙏🏼
You're a natural story teller man.
You may not think so, but you are.
I so enjoy your videos.
Thank you
He really is!!! I love his videos as well!!!
Bless your heart, I feel like you're turning red talking about dating...AWWWWW. 🙏🙏🙏
Thank you for sharing! I always enjoy learning about the Amish Community...
Thanks for telling us about dating in the Amish.
Hello from Southampton England, ive got my foot up from some surgery and was bored stiff 🙄, but ive been binge watching all your stuff 😊 so interesting im hooked, thankyou for making all this so interesting 👏👏👏👍🙋♀️
Our community allows bed courtship 😣but we hope to move out before our kids are that age. We think it’s horrible.
What community are you from?
Are you related to Jeremiah Raber?
@@Freedom-nu5kp no we are not
@@theamishpotato Knox county Ohio
Thank you CJ. I can tell that talking about some of this is a little uncomfortable for you, but it’s really interesting. It helps to understand the different types of Amish culture, and allows me to empathize with their situations and struggles.
I can see your eyes at 6 minutes and then I can tell you were reliving some real memories. Some real fun, fond memories. So awesome. So real
Yes, I watched Eli's interview and am blown away with the "bundling" thing. Seems a bit to "English" like to me! Crazy it's okay to bundle, but not have a reflective triangle?!
Makes no sense does it. When you grow up with these odd rules they just seem normal.
I have heard about this custom before, but it was in colonial America. I can't remember if it was a specific ethnic group or not.
Found you from Eli Yoder😇😊❤️‼️
This is amazing. My mother wouldn't let my date unless chaperoned at that age until I was 18 and out of high school. You would call me English. 🇨🇦
That is a much better method!
Something your viewers may find interesting. There are many newer, smaller Amish communities that were launched by people leaving the older, larger communities because they want to avoid things they disagree with in the older communities; dating methods and traditions rank high in the things that people leave because of. I was raised in such an Amish communities. The preachers in my community often used the Northern Indiana dating habits as an example of where even their own people can go wrong. Dating was very regulated in our community. Casual dating was forbidden, and what did exist was much like "courting" where the boy had to get the girl to agree, but also the parents, before even a first date.
Very good point. It is a big reason they move out and start new communities. Courting sounds more like what I want for my daughters.
9999999990990
Sounds like the “idea” may have been also -in addition to the time factor of using horse and buggy and possibly how it started - was to give the daters an idea of what marriage is and would be with the person they are dating.🤔
I have been around the Amish and plain people most of my life. In fact for a number of year my best friend is Amish. I stayed close to him even after he married and with his young growing family. My life was changing and he ended up in the lot and ordained deacon. Out of my sincere respect I allowed our friendship to grow apart knowing he had to learn his duties. He has always been sincere about his faith and me mine. I did not want him to have any conflict with how I believe and his duty to his calling. We still talk from time to time and I miss my youth and what he his and his wife's family still mean to me. He is sincere in his duties as a Deacon. I have no doubt he understands the New Birth and loves Christ.
When he started dating Bed Courtship was so odd to me and still is. My question was and still is. How do a people that on the surface seem to be pure and have maintained a number of noble Christian values end up in what seems so foul? I understand how it conflicts the community and has even caused splits over the years.
I believe I know how it started a few hundred years ago it was a part of the wider culture, the horse and buggy kept it alive. With all of the folks that use a driver to take them places for everything else why not a date that starts and ends at a appropriate time. Young people are a bundle of hormones couple that with drinking often then putting them in bed together is it any wonder that sudden out of normal season a baptism and wedding have to be held. Young people will experiment but why remove barriers. I will always love and respect the Amish I pray they read the pure word of God so that they understand and truly experience the new birth and become a new creature in Christ. It's a beautiful way to live on a narrow path with the light of Christ showing the way.
I know this is kinda off topic, but I just finished reading the book you recommended “behind blue curtains” and it was really good, but very depressing. Thanks for the recommendation
Another book is recommend is "Plain Anna". It just came out and is on Amazon. I used to go to church with this woman when I was young. I had no idea of what she went through till years later. But I never went to school with their children.
Your welcome. Yep it is depressing but thankfully she has found healing and freedom.
😂 Amish dating explained quite well. Coming from a smaller community but having friends in larger communities, this kind of sums it up. Trying to explain it to people 🤦♀️ you realize how awful it sounds!
OK - what state are you in? Love your name!
Yeah it definitely isn't the biblical way of doing things.
As an “English” it honestly sounds abusive and totally out of “normal”
Interaction…
(If my teen age daughter packed her bag to spend a weekend with a male would be over my dead body) it would never happen….ever….
Sending love and light your way 🙏🏼
Pop 0
Wow I really learned a lot thanks!
Love listening to you.
This is one area that I wouldn't touch it with a ten foot pole. Highly interesting though ! Crazy !
I have a friend who left her Amish church, in part, due to what she called, "bed dating". How does such a custom find validation is a community that claims to abide by the Bible?
Simply because they hold traditional things as more important then scripture. Amish won’t admit this but they do
Explain the story of Ruth going to the bedside of Boaz.She Didn't really know him!
I can see you processing your thoughts on this as you talked lol. I’m covering my face in shock lol 🙈
I’m glad I’m not the only one that noticed that lol
Right on great video
There is a little cake sandwich that is made all over Lancaster PA and I think it originated with the Amish, called woopie pies. Do "woopie pies" have anything to do with dating in the Amish community, or was my family (not Amish), unknowingly, just making jokes?
Maybe they do in other communities but in ours it was simply a delicious treat.
This is a funny comment.
Good video! Long ago, I found a pamphlet that explained what "Bundling" was - what it involved. It explained that this was with parental permission, of course. But, the young couple, after they'd been seeing each other for a good while, and it looked like they'd be getting married - Then the guy would stay overnight. There would be a bed with a board down the middle, lengthwise, that separated the two overnight. This provided an opportunity to really get an understanding about what married life would be like together. After a period of time, over a few times bundling, they'd then announce plans to marry - or not. Anyway, that's it, simplified! (Yep! No sex was involved, . . . well, it wasn't supposed to!)
That seems so crazy to me! Thank you for sharing.
@@theamishpotato That's exactly what I thought when I first heard about "bundling"! (No way would I allow my son, [or even less, my daughter!] to do something like that!) It's a different "custom" and that's for sure! My ancestors came over from Switzerland back in the 1700's, speaking that dialect of German. So, my family roots go back a ways to the PA Dutch.
Wow this is interesting the dating process.
Thank you for this video. 💚
I found all 9ff this very interesting,, please tell me I live in South Afrika, do we have Amish in SA
I would give the guys advice to make sure the girl "likes" them BEFORE they invite her. I used to be a Protestant( now I attend a Beachy Amish church), and I was invited to date 3 times by guys I "did not like". How about "FLIRTING"with her before that? The men who know art of flirting usually are more successful. When you look the girl in the eye, and if you feel response, that she gives you a green light, then invite her for a date. When those guys I did not like invited me I was shocked and surprised because they did not have an "eye contact with me, and have not even flirted'. But remember : Never flirt with married people!
The Amish group i was friends with the boys and girlswent to the singing Sunday evening, after the singing the boy would take the girl home, they would go into the living room ( no light) so I personally don't know what they did, the rest of us would set in the kitchen...the fiunny thing was when I would leave to go home myself, I would hear a voice telling me good night coming from the boys buggy...he always had to take his old maid sister home from the singing, so made her wait in the buggy till he was ready to go home. There were night when it was a little cool... lol Must have worked the have been married for a number of yrs and have grand children.. this was in South Eastern Indiana.
Haha poor sister.
Oh wow. This makes me appreciate the typical first date in non Amish culture...meet for a coffee at Starbucks. How awkward to be stuck for 24 plus hours with someone when it’s not going well. 😜
Worst case scenario if things aren't working out, it's like sleeping on an overseas flight. Lol. Ya wake up and respectfully exit forward.
Hi, I think it’s absolutely crazy how in the Amish community they sleep together on their first date. Yes I realize it happens in the “English“ world but for some reason this just seems crazy. Is there any birth-control that’s practiced? And the parents know that this possibly might be happening?
I don't think the parents always know and most don't like it. My mom tried her best to get my sisters to sleep seperately. Im sure most in my community are aware of birth control. I think most did not actually have sex on the first date in my time.
@@theamishpotato Thank you, CJ, for always being so great about answering comments!
Birth control is forbidden in Amish culture.
And I can’t tell you how much premarital sex exists in the Amish community.
And the child sexual abuse. And animal (especially their horses) abuse, puppy milling, etc.
Thank you❤️🤗
Dating is pure hell in any culture, but the Amish you describe seem to have plunged the process into the deepest circle of hell.
It's like they decided, "get it all out, get it over and done with, then we move on"...it might be the sanest solution of all others...parents trying to keep their daughters away from boys and so on.
As a parent of teenage girls would you want them to date like some of the Amish communities? I’m not sure I would have let my daughter date. I guess all we can do as parents is pray God’s protection and wisdom over them. God bless you!
Its a horrible tradition. I know my parents didn't like it but its just the way it was done.
the words;
"you have beautiful eyes....can I touch them"
Dear Mr. CJ, Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge and opinions about dating in the Amish community but I am a little confused. You mentioned cars....cars? And, the boy grabs the girls bag and takes it out of the house for her...and the parents allow this...? A girl sometimes tells her family to 'disappear'? And the father puts up with that? I know that you are giving an example from a small part of the community but it is very shocking. I am neither Amish nor Mennonite but I would never tolerate that if I had a 16 year old daughter. I agree with you 100% that the boy or man should just take her to eat out, talk there and he should bring her back home the same night. They will both know if there's any chemistry or if they even like being in each other's presence on the first or second date. Perhaps everything you described happened during rumspringa while she decided to still live at home?
I notice that you were blushing and seemed so shy while you were telling the story. I find that quite sweet and refreshing. But remember, you don't have to share things that make you feel uncomfortable! May God bless you and your family. Take care.
Barbara
🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
Yeah check out my videos on rumspringa
I am in the market for one of those campers or mobile homes whatever they're called..
60 years old, I want to buy one so that I can be out in Texas and drive to Michigan.
I am currently in Southern California but I want to know the best one that I should buy and I like the brand that you guys sell I really like that brand I like to cook a lot and I don't need storage for anything else maybe blankets but I just like cooking a food...
Do you have any suggestions on a model that I should look at?
Thanks for your help, you're a great guy..
I like your channel I like your subject I think you are awesome and the world needs more people like you!
Live out your face, God has your back at all times He said he will never leave us or forsake us He has a plan for you and you are his child!!!❤️‼️
There are so many different models and most all of them are built as cheap as possible. I suggest just doing a ton of research before buying
Whatever happened to the custom of the couple sleeping in bed with a piece of wood in between them?
Looks like a setup for some serious butter churning
Hi CJ, you often use the term "Clinton Youth". Where does that term come from?
That is a question I can’t answer. It’s only used in the northern Indiana community I believe. I’m assuming that group of youth originated from Clinton township in Elkhart County. Just a guess though.
Can girls ever ask guys? From what I'm hearing I'm guessing not. I would like to know about that though.
When you were telling about how they would spend the night together, my mind went instantly to a girl in my youth and her very overprotective father. It made me laugh because I know there was no way under the sun that he would have ever allowed that. As much as I liked her it would have been awkward at that point of the relationship anyway.
i agree, it would be awkward being with someone for two days and gosh what if it turns out you can't stand each other,LOL
yep, not fun.
Coming from 16 yrs of male/female strict separation …. This is just weird!!!
Fast forward … No way would it be OK for my daughter to have any male overnight guess in her room or in the same house for that matter!
@@louiseely5099 my mom wouldn't allow any boy within a mile radius of the house, let alone, in the same room.
Yep no boy is going to be in the same room as our girls in this house!
Very interesting.
How would those in Rumspringa in your community decide between the Clinton Youth and the Car Youth? Was it based on family being more strict/ conservative? Or was it to the individual in Rumspringa to be able to freely decide their preferences and comfort level of cars vs buggies & Amish clothing vs English clothing? Thanks so much for describing your community and culture.
Wow! What a crazy way to date...my parents would have had a fit. Just seems like a weird way of dating 🤔 It sounds like it works for some, which is great. Blessings to you❣
Wow, strange custom. Rumspringa sounds like it appeals to the basest instincts, certainly not biblical
Yep definitely not. I have a few vids explaining it.
Some of this sounds a lot like the culture I grew up in in Indiana among mostly Baptists and Catholics but also Lutheran Episcopalian and Mormons - we all got along pretty well. I definitely know what it's like to sleep in the same bed with a girl when be both knew to keep it PG-13 even without parental supervision. On Bundling in particular, - I have come across several variations on this in history and sometimes recent history. It involves the boy and girl in the same bed but separated. It may appear a little odd today but they were usually prevented from touching each other in some way - often sleeping in what we would call their underwear. It could be done by being literally sewn snugly into a blanket "cocoon" made for that purpose or with strips of cloth bandages. Sometimes a plank of wood would also separate them but the idea was they could sit there and talk with no danger of anything undesired happening. It also doesn't appear to be a strictly Amish thing - or even dependent upon one's faith. I'm somewhat familiar with a modern version practiced by non Amish folks in the midwest (Central Indiana) with the prospective couple each wrapped up in about 20 Ace bandages. After dinner and some activities, they would change into something like a bathing suit or unitard (something a little more than modern underwear) and they would have both legs wrapped individually and then together and arms wrapped down to their sides. (The boy and girl were totally separate) Chastity was absolutely guaranteed. Sometimes this was done in the girl's home or at a church youth group overnighter. Picture a fairly dark gymnasium with pairs of individually wrapped mummies laying on their backs and quietly talking to each other till they fell asleep. They were advised to not drink a lot of water after dinner. There were always parental chaparrones watching over. It makes you put the physical aspects on hold and get to know the person inside first. And you get to find out who snores.
I'm amish 17 years old and I've had a gf for a year and 3 months and we already have a 4 month old boy 😀😀
Ohhhmmm. Do wash loppich 😋. Get married and have more! Children are a blessing
I can’t imagine having a guy or guys sleep over or having a date always last overnight as a teenager especially with my parents being not just aware of this, but fully endorsing the practice & insisting that they not have sex. It’s one thing if they’re sleeping in different rooms-barely, but it’s another thing entirely if they’re sleeping in the same bed. That’s also too long for a date to last especially if it’s just the expectation.
Bundling is when you are tied up in bed with like a board or something between you and you talk all night in bed that's as far as what I know it to be
That's so weird...sleeping together in a bed...in our communities and how we grew up, a boy wasn't even allowed in your room...you would get a beating for that...but there's a lot of innocence in your story. Listening to you, I wonder about the parents...how did they deal with the sleepovers? I don't know about sleeping in the same bed...that's just weird! This is a very controversial subject!
Could you show the words that were on screen as the video ended? The thumbnails were blocking it.
"You have beautiful eyes, can I touch them"
Yes a very bad practice. No boy is staying in our daughters room in our house! I don’t think the parents are a fan of it but it’s been a tradition for so long that they just go along with it. Most try to raise their kids to not engage in sex but they are teens so we all know how that works.
@@theamishpotato kids will probably do it more when the parents aren't in the next room...probably do it somewhere else, than in the house, where everyone else is.
I'm astounded how quickly they get sexual so quickly. In Australia, conventional protestant Christian practices in dating seem almost puritan compared with some of these US Amish. Mind you, I like the system in The Patriot, sown in bags for the night!
''such a horrible way of dating''
>Meanwhile tinder
Bundling !,,, That sounds like you’re letting anything happen in bed.
A bit off topic-Amish hygiene: do they use deodorants? Do the girls ever shave their legs?
The girls in our community did. They were very clean. We used deodorant and showered every day. Not all communities are like this though.
@@theamishpotato thanks! I wasn't sure if it would be looked upon as worldly. I originally came from Fremont, MI and the Amish has really taken over the town. It's a very rural town of 4 thousand people and the Amish population there has exploded like crazy. They seem to be less conservative though still very perplexing to me. If they look at "English" as living in the devil's playground, why then would it be okay to ride in our cars and purchase things like Mountain Dew, disposable diapers (adult and baby) and TONS of Cool Whip? These are just a couple of things I noted when I lived there. Your first video, and also the Breaking the Silence, My Amish Story, cleared up a lot of my questions. I just never realized how different each community was. In fact, the ones back home we used to joke saying that they must be the outcasts from the PA Amish because they are a lot less strict than what we thought all Amish are.
What part of northern indiana ? I’m in northern indiana !
Shipshewana, middlebury area
Heeey girl! You're gonna sit on my lap ALL night while we boogie down ruff country roads. Then, you kno what? After we crash, YOU'RE gonna get up a fix me breakfast, lol.😂😃😂 You kno that's gonna go over well with Papa!
That actually sounds really nice.
That sounds more fun than modern dating. Because there isnt any sleep over. Lol
What is the difference between a cold winter date in a car and a cold winter date in a warm bed? What wicll be will be . Let your conscience be
Oh my goodness! Spending night together awfully bad idea😳. That should be a big NO NO especially if we talk about Christians
They should get to know each other first
Would an Amish guy be able to marry and live with an "English" woman? And vice versa, an Amish woman able to marry and live with, in the Amish community, an "English" guy? Would the "English" have to convert their faith, learn the language, give up everything outside of Amish rules as well? What if no dates are available in a community - Will the bishops waive the rules and allow a Amish female to date outside the community in that situation? or would she be expected to live a single life?
If an English person married and Amish person the English person would have to live the Amish life. An Amish spouse wouldn’t be allowed to live in an English home.
@@theamishpotato Thanks, i saw a Schwarzentruber girl who had no date because her community would not allow her to date anyone outside her community, that's why i asked if she would be expected to live a single life, i would not blame her at all for leaving the Amish.
Anyone that wants an idea of what bundling is. Watch the movie Patriot. Heath Ledger is bundled for the night in the bed with this girl he’s in love with. It’s funny.
A date for 24 hours?! What if its not going well? Longest date of your life! 😅
What about being gay in the Amish community?
It is non existent. If any are they don’t tell anyone. They would have to leave to live that lifestyle
?
'
Going to the girls room. Two questions who opens the door ?? And if you just asked her out for the first time, how the x would you know which room is hers ??
I can’t remember anyone opening the door. Just knock and wait a second or two and walk in. Someone might yell “come on in” from somewhere. You just head upstairs and hope you get the right room. Sometimes it takes a few tries.
How did you have enough money to buy a car and did you have to hide it from the younger siblings while you were dating?
Check out my rumspringa videos
Ugh. Not to be rude, or sound like a jerk, I mean, it was very informative.....but I fell asleep at 13:00 and don't remember anything after that. Just a side note...I wonder how many secretely depressed Amish woman there are hidden/packed away "doing their duty" and going through the motions. I don't know, maybe I'm wrong, but I feel so sad. Oh, and I'm definitely not into that whole "partying scene" I'm quite reserved or "traditional", but I just got a very sad feeling here...
I’m sure there are some. Maybe many
I mean no disrespect but I find this super odd and weird how they gave you guys so much freedom to have sex and make out … I would think they would be more strict? It seems that way especially if it was just first date and nothing serious like marriage related
I would prefer regular dating but with respect. my bf asked my dad for permission to date me when I was around 19 lol I liked it alot
Are you from goshen?
That community, yes.
Me likey 😍
I wonder how many kids were born out of wedlock to these teens. This type of dating just screams for it to happen...🤣
As much as we want the "ideal" situation for our kids, God gives them free choice. You may warn them as a parent about different situations in life, but they still have to make their own mistakes. I have spent many times on my knees praying for my child, since you and your wife are parents as well, I'm guessing you know about worry and all the prayers you pray for your children. Its a rite of passage - all the worry and praying! LOL But seriously, I believe "courting" is the way to go. There are Christian books out there on the subject of dating, maybe you and your wife might enjoy reading one together? I will remember you and your wife's girls in prayer. Hope you all have a wonderful 4th of July!
Thank you!
Lmao that shit in the movies is not reality
Maybe 2 weeks because the girls want to choose? ?
What crime do you have to commit in a past life, to get suck with the name "shitler"
Combination of Hitler and Shit.
What is the Clinton youth?
Youth that didn’t drive cars or drink. Check out my first rumspringa vid.
I thought it was called soaking
Wow! I do not agree at all with the dating. No way is any of my kids unmarried going to be sleeping together in my house. I fill sorry for y'all on this one. Lol
Well the Amish cant resist all sins, despite what they think.
Oh it gets pretty bad.
Doesn't seem all that bad - I was not allowed to date ! I started dating at 21 ! And that's not good- 😩
I agree. I think its great when people are marrying at that age.
The main thing I've always wondered about the Amish is why they get away with pulling kids teeth with plyers, Not having mandatory vaccines for school. Living off grid without having to have electricity. The list goes on and on. I am left to believe they have a well paid for agreement with the Police and Government.