Это видео недоступно.
Сожалеем об этом.
Why YOU Can't Make Friends - Therapist Explains!
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 18 авг 2024
- Real psychotherapist Georgia Dow explains some tips on how to more easily make friends!
#Therapy #Friendship
🔔 SUBSCRIBE www.youtube.co...
💜 SUPPORT THIS CHANNEL / georgiadow
🚨 DISCLAIMER: This video series is provided for informational purposes only and should not substitute for a personal consultation with a professional.
🐦 Contact Georgia on Twitter: / georgia_dow
📺 Need more help? Georgia co-hosts a self-help video series: www.anxiety-vi...
🌎 Visit Georgia's website: www.westmountt...
🎙 Check out Georgia's @Apple Talk podcast with @Rene Ritchie :
Apple: podcasts.apple...
RSS: rss.art19.com/...
RUclips: / @appletalkshow
NEBULA subscribers get a bonus topic each week:
Audio: watchnebula.co...
Video: watchnebula.co...
🙏 Thanks for watching, see you next video!
I love that you said “people don’t remember what you say, they remember how you make them feel!” Couldn’t be more true!
It's 100% facts for like everything
I've done the "project liking someone" many times when I try to make new friends. The feelings from the other person are rarely reciprocated for me.
- I just want to let anyone who’s reading this, and going through a tough time know that it’s going to be okay. You’ll get through it! ✨
I just want to tell anyone who read the inane comment above that your challenges are too big for someone to dismiss with the swipe of a hand while trying to promote their channel.
Just want to tell whoever is reading this to ignore the negative guy in the comments keep pushing yes it's hard. But if you keep trying you can make. Thomas take a chill pill brother. It's ok. Lmao person didn't even promote anything. They was just being nice your attitude is really off-putting.
I just want to tell everyone who is reading this comment that I have no idea whether you will cope with your problems or not, and in any case how it will affect your environment and psyche. Because I don't know you. I have no right to know. I am often annoyed by these simple, "kind" advice, wishes and motivating comments. They can help you, they may not. It's only partly up to you... however, the social belief that we have the choice of not speaking at all or saying "nice", devoid of emotional as well as substantive value stupidity deserves immediate: factual discussion, consultation with psychotherapists and a new common approach to strangers-wounded
I feel like I've reached a point in my life where if I want to be friends with somebody, it won't be with just anybody. Perhaps I'm just tired of putting on a facade or don't like being someone I'm not, but with the friends I already have at least, I know that's not much of an issue. I just prefer to be my real self and be around people who can see me for who I am. A lot of people define friendships differently, but because of my personality type, the kind of friendships I prefer to have and maintain hold a mix of a couple common interests and a deeper understanding of both myself and the other person in that relationship.
My Dad, who is white, could strike up a conversation with anybody. But that was because of his personality, not because of his race. I'm half aboriginal. Visibly so. And people sometimes take a bit longer to warm up to me, even though I have much the same personality. Kindergarten, 1st grade, Second grade, Third grade - different communities, different schools for each. My loving family was my constant. I thought of friends as a bonus. If I had them - great. If not - okay. Because of racism, I got enemies pretty easily. And mostly no back-up. My attitude (in my heart) became: "I don't NEED you as a friend...but I'd be happy to be YOUR friend." I make "friends" easily. I have mostly, though, been a friend of convenience. Because I'm big and strong and useful and willing to help. But it's generally a friendship with a predictable expiry date. Transient. Have I made a positive difference in people's lives? Yes. And that DOES make me happy.
I hope you find those friends who want to be a true friend to you. Because you deserve some good, genuine and loyal friends! I know one day you’ll have them. Maybe not now, but you will one day!🥰
@@anyone1111 Thank-you SO much for saying that! And for taking time out of your day to be encouraging! This shows that you are warmhearted, excellent person, and I appreciate you! You made my day!
My best friends mother always tells me that i have a beautiful smile, and recently i realized how big of an impact that had on my confidence, my smile is not even that special, but her telling me that, every time I smiled made me want to smile more
Since i was little i was always bullied by others, it wasn't as bad as hitting or berating me, but people would ignore me or talk over me. I had 2 best friends in school, and after school, one of them ghosted me and told me she didn't want to be friends anymore. And the other rarely acknowledges me. That made me realize none of my relationships are actually that meaninful, and most pf them are only superficial.
Since i went to college, it has only gotten worse, because these people truly don't care about me. And i know is partly my fault because i always lower myself or bend over backwards for others, in hopes that they'd invite me or will be my friends, and to feel better about myself, but it never works.
In a sense i almost feel hypocritical, cause i don't really like this people as much, but i don't want to be alone, so i hold on to whoever is close to me, even though it will hurt me in the long run. I truly thought i would be able to form a connection, afterall is the last opportunity for me to form close connections.
But when you're rotten to the core, and hate yourself too much, it will never happen, or maybe all relationships in general are fake and superficial, and i'm just realizing that. I don't know.
"Smile"
I can't smile on command, I csn't fake a smile, if I'm not happy i don't smile, so i rarely do.
i hope you have some more happy days soon. It is a hard thing to smile when you dont feel happy.
RUclips randomly brought this vid back to my feed
So i can report i have plenty of happy moment.
I still got a resting bich face tho 😂
Still bad at smiling (ill admit i havent practiced in front of a mirror at all 😂)
Complimenting guys will take you so far, you don't even know. We're not used to getting any sort of affirmation and so when it does actually happen we take it, considerate precious, and put that compliment in a little box for safekeeping. If you're going to affirm someone, like Georgia said, do it honestly, target something they have personal influence over, and do it in a way that isn't the norm for that person for maximal impact.
Great video. As I have aged, I have realized that I don't really need friends...I have many acquaintances and people I work with well, but I do not consider them friends, there is a difference. Too often having many friends causes more problems than it is worth. One friend doesn't like the other and you are stuck in the middle. It is probably just me maybe, but I am much happier with one or two friends at the most.
Every time I have to go to social situations or have to talk to people I dont know I panic because I'm scared of making friends as when I have made friends with people in the past they have ended up leaving me or bullying me so I prefer to be alone
I'm super shy so making friends outside of work is super hard. If I had time I would like to join some groups or teams in the future. You already have a similar interest if that's the case and a lot of times friendships just kind of form themselves.
Also food. Food makes friends. Pro tip.
Same! I always I always wanted to get into some sort of sport or extracurricular activity and make friends there. And yes food definitely helps!!
Making friends isn't exactly difficult for me, but keeping them is. I was a military brat, always on the move, and I learned early on that friendships were fairly ephemeral and very transient. I'm a Gen-Xer so we didn't have social media, and I didn't make the time to have pen pals.
I think this has had an adverse impact in the amount of emotional investment that I put into my relationships. I have an incredibly small circle of friends (three) with whom I regularly speak, mostly via texts or DMs - it's very rare that we meet up in person, owing mostly to lack of proximity and/or convenience. In spite of this, I think I'm okay. I don't think I can handle more than three friends.
How do you grow to like your friends after you make them? I don’t trust anyone and always find reasons to dislike them so I don’t even have the motivation to even bother making friends. In the rare circumstance that I find someone I do like every several years I don’t bother trying to interact with them because I know it’s just going to end up with us both being miserable. One time I did and all that happened was they ghosted me after a year and I never got an explanation. Last thing I remember is them saying they were really depressed and then that’s it, nothing else.
Thank you so much. You distilled it to the important things. I'll come back to this. I have a hard time smiling and making people feel good. Boundaries are also tricky for me. But I'm working on it.
I can’t remember names too!!! I’m not alone. 😃 Yeah! It’s just so difficult for me! Some people get so offended and they think I’m so high on a horse, but the name just doesn’t register in my brain ☹️
Thank you for this video. Making and keeping friends has been one of the things that has always been difficult, and I've never had a "friend group" where I felt truly accepted and liked. It's a lifelong wish that has never come true and is pretty much impossible as an adult. I can't understand why I can't seem to make/keep female friends, and I feel people reject me and won't accept me for who I am. This video has been helpful in making me reflect on my own behaviour and how I can possibly change/ improve things.
Good advice. I get impulsive and I just want to interject whatever comes into my brain. Which leads me to apologize for interrupting. But I also let people know it's okay to disagree with my point of view. Who knows maybe they will change my mind on something. Oh and maybe do a video about Rogue One A Star wars Story.
When it comes to names, I find that being upfront is the best. I’ll let them know that I will make my best effort to remember their name, but also preemptively apologize for the likelihood that I may forget. People tend to be more understanding and, sometimes, even helpful.
For some context, I don't really feel comfortable talking about sexual or erotic stuff. Whenever I tried putting up that boundery with my old friend group I was accused of being selfish, oversensitive and puritan. What do you do in this situation? I've already had cut out these people from my life, but sometimes it feels like I overreacted. Did I?
I don't think you overreacted, I think you did the right thing
I appreciate your perspective and teaching. I enjoyed your video very much. Blessings on your day.
I really needed this . Thanks for the amazing vision.😊
Smile and greet people like you like them. Later you become their friend and make a mistake and said person tells you with their actions they were an a hole the whole time.
I'm amazingly amicable at my job-coworkers and students love me for it.
Outside... I'm dead. I just can't muster up my work can-do/humorous/interpersonal attitude for some reason.
My professional social circle is thriving meanwhile my personal social circle is virtually non-existent.
I've heard about techniques to get people to have a positive attitude toward you, like mirroring their posture, using their name regularly, repeating back things they've said to emphasize you're listening and interested. At what point is that manipulation, giving people signs they like you, rather than they actually being interested in who you are? Will they actually like you once you stop doing those things?
Thing is, if you like someone you will already do these things while talking to them such as mirroring posture etc. If doing these consciously get the other person to sympathize with you and become your friend, it's more of a fake it till you make it situation.
Really you speaking the truth like your basically saying don't let your ego or personal belief ... getting into someone's head ......really it's all talk just let them have/ say it all out
Some other amazing shows you could react to that have a lot of Psycological elements are Madoka Magica, Death Note and a movie, A silent Voice.
I just found your channel and it's amazing. I've enjoyed every single one of your latest videos, your voice is so sweet and now I'm diving down your content.
I want to ask if you've done a video on how to keep friendships? Or to not loose connection with other people?
Hate hearing my own name. Outside of my parent, it always comes off as condescending when other people use it. Others thought it was a joke.
Really ? Oh wow was that cause it was rarely used as a compliment or in a positive way. I hope you know that people will often be using it because you matter and they want to make sure you are heard. But I can see how that would be the case if your parents usually used it in a harsh way. Thank you for sharing this opposing opinion letting us know that there are always exceptions
I cut ppl off, ive had friends they would want to call, I don't answer, text, I keep it short, and I don't think I care, to an extent. I feel ppl r draining and take too much energy to b social. So I end up distancing, not answer or calling back. I can admit I do want a friend but when someone tries I get awkward, avoid them, and move on. I don't like small talk so I end up being quiet n hoping they go away. Lol I like being alone but I get times where I want someone who I can share an interest wit. Full of contradictions. It's just not as simple as smiling.
I don't smile so I'm pretty much unapproachable. I'm an ISTP and found out this girl I was friends wit is an ENTJ, pretty much my opposite, we went to a bar and ppl were flocking to her like bees to honey and I was basically vinegar. It was interesting to observe.
I have rlly bad issues w talking to people and I'm trying to be social, i gave someone a water bottle when they said they were thirsty and almost had a panic attack over it 😭
It's interesting that you connect your difficulty with names to dyslexia. My mom actually had dyslexia -- she didn't learn to read until a perceptive fifth-grade teacher picked up on her illiteracy and taught her one-on-one after school -- but she was an absolute master at remembering names. Her theory was that because she was unable to read, she spent a lot of time observing other people and remembering things about them, including their names. This came in really handy years later, when she became a special education teacher to other students with learning disabilities; not only did she remember her kids' names, but she could point out to them some of their own strengths and abilities that other teachers had overlooked, because they were too busy focusing on "the problem."
(BTW, I read well from the time I was three years old. But you know what I can't do? Remember people's names. Not to save my life. Oh well.)
Your mom’s so thoughtful, kind and awesome 🤩
You are a lovely blessing..
such a kind thoughtful words thanks
I loved how you added the dog part hahahaha
lol
im that person who doesn't usually smile or like doesn't smile at all. i have hard time looking at someone's eyes or even try to make a conversation, i always have this feeling that i think everyone around me hates me or everyone see me as a really awkward and annoying person like idek why i just feel i don't fit in or I'm not good enough or like I'm not accepted, and bc of this i don't really have any close friends, i feel if i change myself people will be like " oh yeah u changed bc ur a attention seeker!!" i hate this idek what to do.
I don't like it when people use my name, what's wrong with me?
I have a resting asshole face. I can't help it 😂😭😭
Who wants to be frien
O_o why does it feel like im relearning to be me like i once was ?
i really think if you make more videos with social help like this one you will get so many views
Am I the only one who Thinks Dow needs to make a video on Sterling Archer lol;
Yar, don't make it about yourself
Because if you only smile with your lips it can came up as scary or creepy. End of the story...
True
Step one - wear a mask and get vaccinated so we can get past this pandemic and meet some new people.