The man is manipulating her generosity. She is not able to draw sharp boundaries and allows his "needs" to call the shots. She wants a monogamous relationship, period.
The woman clearly wants a monogamous relationship and this session was about this man’s “needs” AKA lack of boundaries and consideration for her. Based off what she has said, she’s been in relationships where she is people-pleasing and not speaking out HER needs and truth. Which is why she has ended up with someone who is triggering more of that people-pleasing and disregard for herself.
I don't think this woman is into Polly. She is drawn to men that cannot commit. She is drawn to man who cannot commit because she is afraid of commitment. My guess is that she is frightened of commitment because she has some early childhood trauma and or abandonment. She is in a constant circle of trying to repair a childhood situation that cannot be repaired in the now. I also think that it is abusive in as much she is repeatedly hurting herself. I am not saying that this guy is a Narcissistic. But I think that in hetrosexual Polly relationship at the heart you will find a narc man and a empath woman. I know what the therapist was trying to do but I think that he has just basically told the woman to keep hurting herself in order to be there for her man. It was all about his needs. This was all about his needs, the whole clip focused on him. There was nothing about her needs accept to make her feel guilty for not meeting his needs. No wonder at the end he's like when do we make another appointment.
This is an interesting technique. almost a storming and performing tactic. The man seems to think he is not thinking about himself yet he was selfish enough to have relationships with multiple people. I THINK CERTAIN NEEDS WERE MET.??? It was great to see them finally see that the people they most needed were each other Thanks Dr. Hart that was probably an interesting case for you.
What about HER needs ? And HER nervous system ? I really wanted to like you and learn from you as a therapist but this was absolutely terrible .. and I can assure you this was extremely retraumatizing and gaslighting for her. You guys didn’t talk AT ALL about her needs in this relationship and the reasons this is so hard for her to be in this situation where her partner completely disconnects and goes to other women and moves into a separate apartment. Wow .. I literally can’t believe what I just witnessed. Total garbage session. Very very Abusive and one sided. 🤮
I wouldn't consider myself a feminist. I promote ideas about vulnerability, and I'm not currently commenting on male/female differences and polarity. My Facebook posts and articles have a lot to say about male/female differences, although you would have to look probably to look from 2015-2019 for comments in that arena. facebook.com/derek.michael.hart/ But here is one that popped up recently: facebook.com/derek.michael.hart/posts/10158438958596229
This guy's a classic using victimisation and intellectualisationbto gult trip woman into multiple partners, she doesn't want it , but she's forcing a round peg in a square hole because of her codependency. Let him go do his shit, sweetheart choose someone who chooses you and doesn't try to mind fuck you into his inability to commit
The man is manipulating her generosity. She is not able to draw sharp boundaries and allows his "needs" to call the shots. She wants a monogamous relationship, period.
The woman clearly wants a monogamous relationship and this session was about this man’s “needs” AKA lack of boundaries and consideration for her. Based off what she has said, she’s been in relationships where she is people-pleasing and not speaking out HER needs and truth. Which is why she has ended up with someone who is triggering more of that people-pleasing and disregard for herself.
I don't think this woman is into Polly. She is drawn to men that cannot commit. She is drawn to man who cannot commit because she is afraid of commitment. My guess is that she is frightened of commitment because she has some early childhood trauma and or abandonment. She is in a constant circle of trying to repair a childhood situation that cannot be repaired in the now. I also think that it is abusive in as much she is repeatedly hurting herself. I am not saying that this guy is a Narcissistic. But I think that in hetrosexual Polly relationship at the heart you will find a narc man and a empath woman. I know what the therapist was trying to do but I think that he has just basically told the woman to keep hurting herself in order to be there for her man. It was all about his needs. This was all about his needs, the whole clip focused on him. There was nothing about her needs accept to make her feel guilty for not meeting his needs. No wonder at the end he's like when do we make another appointment.
Totalky, full of shit ,
Therapist needs to totally check his agenda for sure
Yeah, it’s gross, and even grosser of the therapist to enable this instead of calling it out.
YES. THIS
Agree
I like at 26:51 where the councelor laughs. Its like he said: well thank you, im glad I could help.
This is an interesting technique. almost a storming and performing tactic. The man seems to think he is not thinking about himself yet he was selfish enough to have relationships with multiple people. I THINK CERTAIN NEEDS WERE MET.??? It was great to see them finally see that the people they most needed were each other Thanks Dr. Hart that was probably an interesting case for you.
Soooooo powerful! Thank you, Derek, for posting this great example of how a shift happens.
WOW you should get an award for this session
This is most probably the best way to a better relationship or Marraige.
Thanks you
This relationship needs to end, this guy is a total narcissist. Tell her to run.
wow this was a great session..i really felt the emotions when the guy wen he was repeating the words to her
Wow, a little perspective is good. I’m great full that my spouse and I do not have this problem. We definitely have problems though!
Can I say wow!?!! Great session, thank you for letting us therapists observe this session. I will be subscribing to you.
I hope they were successful and found happiness.
Did he say “swinging”. I am not sure I heard that correctly
Well... Yes. As he stated before that, he felt the need to connect with other people. It's what seemed to work for him, given his personal traumas.
What about HER needs ? And HER nervous system ?
I really wanted to like you and learn from you as a therapist but this was absolutely terrible .. and I can assure you this was extremely retraumatizing and gaslighting for her.
You guys didn’t talk AT ALL about her needs in this relationship and the reasons this is so hard for her to be in this situation where her partner completely disconnects and goes to other women and moves into a separate apartment.
Wow .. I literally can’t believe what I just witnessed. Total garbage session. Very very Abusive and one sided. 🤮
What is your favorite model?
are you a feminist? what are your thoughts on the APA promoting feminist theory on toxic masculinity?
I wouldn't consider myself a feminist. I promote ideas about vulnerability, and I'm not currently commenting on male/female differences and polarity. My Facebook posts and articles have a lot to say about male/female differences, although you would have to look probably to look from 2015-2019 for comments in that arena.
facebook.com/derek.michael.hart/
But here is one that popped up recently:
facebook.com/derek.michael.hart/posts/10158438958596229
This guy's a classic using victimisation and intellectualisationbto gult trip woman into multiple partners, she doesn't want it , but she's forcing a round peg in a square hole because of her codependency.
Let him go do his shit, sweetheart choose someone who chooses you and doesn't try to mind fuck you into his inability to commit