This Is Paris #6 - (Code Silence) - Therapist Reacts
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 14 июл 2024
- Dr. Kirk Honda reacts to The Real Story of Paris Hilton - This Is Paris. Includes clips from This Is Paris (RUclips).
Become a patron of our podcast by going to / psychologyinseattle
Email: www.psychologyinseattle.com/contact
The Psychology In Seattle Podcast.
This content is for educational and informational purposes only. Although Kirk Honda is a licensed marriage and family therapist, this content is not a replacement for proper mental health treatment. Always seek the advice of your mental health provider regarding any questions or concerns you have about your mental health needs.
#ParisHilton #ThisIsParis 
Наука
![NoCap - Yacht Party [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/rm_lvDln8kE/mqdefault.jpg)
I wish Paris watched these videos 😭 I feel like she needs someone like this to trust and validate her trauma. Even just hearing him explain everything from a scientific point of view would probably help her a lot to overcome her traumas and find genuine happiness without having to go through the stress of finding a therapist she can trust.
When I was watching the documentary, I kept wondering why she isn’t getting therapy. Now I understand a bit better.
Tanja I believe she’s also seen people and doctors and her records have been leaked in the past.
after going through something like this - it is impossible to trust a therapist 😔
Yes but trauma is also in the body so it is not enough to just understand it from an intellectual point of view :( It can help relieving some guilt but you still feel the effects physically... I wish she could try EMDR.
Lafemme Sanspseudo EMDR is magic!! Prolly wrong choice of words there, but it did wonders for me. The fist time I did it, it took one session and what I was suffering from was gone! I highly, highly recommend it for anyone who’s tried therapists or tried other things that haven’t worked. EMDR works. It was nice to see this in the comments!
"No child should be punished for expressing their feelings" 👏👏👏👏 I felt that!
Asia: What?
I would say depends on the form of expression
Therapy is a luxury. So many people need it but simply can't afford it.
And Psychology isn't what actually heals people. All people need to do is admit they are angry, really feel it, cry an ocean and be ok with the pain because it can't be changed and the only way for it to stop being a problem is to stop and feel it. You'll feel like you'll die but you won't. And if we can't allow ourselves to be ok with our traumas, then no one else can truly help.
Anger. And beneath anger is grief.
@@fingerprint5511 Therapy gives people a safe space to heal though. Some people need that concentrated space.
Peace Seeker for most people, including myself, trauma is what guides people in that direction. it wasn’t until 10 years after my abuse ended that I finally sought therapy, and it was at that point that I finally started to heal after a decade of PTSD.
I used to work for a non-profit that would help those who can’t afford it, get affordable and even most times free therapy. I would like to suggest that to you. Maybe find a nonprofit that can help get the help you need.
@@fingerprint5511 I want to be but it's difficult. I was living with a childhood friend for a while and I had no idea that she was into illuminati and does black magic. I had a feeling when she made me eat bread that something wasn't right (she mixed soemthing in it) and I ended up feeling sick the whole interview and was behaving out of fear and restlessness, had so awareness.. and she did that to control me and she is extremely insecured and jealous. Am not in touch with her but instances where I drop soemthing or make errors I hear her voice in my head belittling me and I get a full on rage and its hard for me to be in the present . I wonder if this is complex PTSD or some black magic .
I have been to many therapists. I found that with almost every one, they jumped right into my trauma. I feel comfy-ish talking about it (surface level), but I would always stop coming back after a month or two because it just felt "too soon". I thought that I was failing at therapy until this episode where you mention it takes a while for trauma to be OK to talk about. Thank you.
He explained perfectly how I felt. Im so happy to hear that is normal for people suffering ptsd
They just asked you to talk about it right away? I think that it's up to the client to want to talk about it when they are ready.
My therapist wanted to put me in kind of ‘exposure therapy’ so just repeating telling the story... I don’t think she has any idea about deeply understanding trauma
Me too I wanted to stop taking about it . It's like reliving everything then you go home thinking about it and the whole week until it next session it sucks .
Me too
I really admire how Dr. Honda remembers to act as a professional first rather than a youtuber byeven reminding viewers that if you've had trauma, maybe dont watch these videos as it could trigger things.
I didnt know that there should be a lot of pre-work for therapists before their clients go and do something like this. Something new I learned today
Yeah, I had to stop to make a comment on that. It gives him credibility as a professional to tell people "maybe you shouldn't be watching my videos"
Yeah that really opened my eyes to understand why my therapist keeps checking in with me when I'm telling her about my trauma.
Yeah me too learned it now and tbh it totally made sense to me
Shut down the abusive Provo Canyon School
With your support, we will address this national crisis as a community and work to enact measurable change to ensure no child experiences physical, mental, and sexual abuse at the hands of these facilities.
www.change.org/p/provo-canyon-school-shut-down-the-abusive-provo-canyon-school?recruited_by_id=61ac6e60-0031-11eb-836a-8745913011ed
I always thought that that's the right way to go.
Watching her documentary and hearing her story actually kinda broke my heart, to be honest.
I'm glad, that you're giving us some insight and explain things to us. It's really nice, so thank you Dr. Honda!
Die Milch wieder! Erbeermilch.
@@saskiaehlers5273 Haha, jaaa Saskiaaa!! xD Erdbeermilch FTW
There is another thing: her sister says that their parents are always putting things under the rug, not talking about the issues...
i think that's a pretty basic baby boomer kind of mentality to have,..
what's my name? It sounds more like a familial cycle of silence, having been passed down through possibly many generations. It’s not just a Boomer thing. Good on Paris for her speaking out. She’s helping to break the cycle.
@@reiterated yeah I ment it was probably more of that during their generation compared to us. But as you said it is passed down from the older generations on to the next. I agree it's good she did. It must be very hard for her as well to open up about it. She have my full respect.
what's my name? I get what you mean now. She totally has my respect as well.
The parents are more worried about feeling good about themselves than to assume the responsibility blame for the trauma they've caused.
I love that dr Honda avoides moral judgements.
Me too. I loved that he says “there’s nothing wrong with that”.
He's so compassionate. ❤️
I’m so glad I found him. Dr. Grande’s video on this documentary sucked. Basically “meh yeah maybe she had a bad time. anyways she’s a vapid narcissist millionaire whatever let’s move on”
Nathalia Jiménez a lot of Grandes videos are like that. Incredibly judgemental and uneducated. Like Dr Honda was explaining how he didn’t understand trauma at the start of his career, that’s like Grande in almost every single video. Zero fuckin clue, I had to unsub from him he’s way too triggering.
This is so wrong and a lot of this depends on Hollywood and the pressure they put on young potential, it was Britney, it was Lindsey Lohan ( btw Paris has been a total jerk with her) and now Paris, im sure there is trauma in all those lives and the fact that they are rich and famous, doesnt mean its easier, and we all agree to that! But she spent time in that room freezing dreaming of becoming rich by Being on social media 24/7 ( not by becoming a surgeon) , social media is what was killing her in the first place! Disfunctional family for sure, but all the parties and the ppl she surrounded herself with, did not help!
The explanation of the differences between PTSD and CPTSD are not only appreciated but very eye opening in terms of my own traumas, so thank you!
Yes!! Even though I have been diagnosed with CPTSD I had never had it explained in that way which made it so much more tangible and easy to understand.
xxxilva hey. Where is this mentioned?
Yes I was always told I had ptsd and it never matched me but cptsd does
Reene he starts talking about it around 14:45
Same here...i definately need therapy
I watched the documentary and I sat there in tears. I didn’t realize, that I would recognize myself in Paris. I had an abusive childhood, know the urge to live on my own as a possibility to leave my parents and that I would never need them again, the insomnia, the nightmares.
I live with PTSD, too and know exactly, what is going on in Paris‘ mind. And I feel so sorry for her.
Hopefully this documentary will change some minds and maybe, some parents will see, how they shouldn’t treat their „difficult“ children. Just listen to them, seek help from therapists, work with them not against them.
Thank you Sir for your thoughts and opinion to this part of the documentary.
i am so sorry to hear about your struggles, i can relate. i've had the exact same experience and am currently contemplating whether i should denounce myself from my 'family'.... every now and then i get these bad thoughts and a floud of guilt and anger and i feel so alone, but seeing people like yourself on the internet sharing their trauma makes me feel like i'm not the only one with these problems.... I hope you're staying strong, i hope that you are happy and are working on your mental health. here's a big hug from a stranger hahaha *HUG* >u
Same here. I'm shocked really that I empathize so much with Paris. I had to make the painful decision to cut off contact with my abusive parents and sibling. Overall for me it's helped in some ways, as allowing them contact is allowing the abuse to continue. Knowing that I'll likely never get acknowledgement of it from them, let alone an apology, is a hard thing to learn to live with. Great therapists like Dr. Honda, and nature therapy for me, helps tremendously.
@@mrs.h2725 thank you for sharing this, you're not alone >u<
Dear ladies, I really appreciate your answers and kind words ❤️ I hope you can heal and live your lives to the fullest 🍀 hugs from another stranger 😊
@@angela_tarantulas thank you sweetie ^o^ it's positive comments like this that make my day
This is heartbreaking to watch. I'm glad she and all the other women are trying to heal. I hope they all have a solid support system around them.
A lot of these therapists list trauma as a specialty on their sites/profiles but in my experience aren't trauma informed. Tbh they list too many "specialties"
That is absolutely true.
YES
Thank you!!!
So true
It’s such a vague term to use on those sites as well. I’ve had to call 10s of doctors asking if they deal with childhood sexual trauma just to clarify. Most don’t.
It took me until I was 30 to understand I had severe ptsd from child hood trauma. Sometimes you just don't know yourself
Me till I was 37...
How do y’all know? I can think of so many experiences I would describe as traumatizing that I feel I just luckily am not bothered by unless PHYSICALLY brought back to that situation (ie someone touching or grabbing me that I don’t want touching or grabbing me)
I guess I am just very lucky that I don’t carry that weight with me in my day to day life
Broke down around the 20:30 mark. Being abused all my life since I can remember and having no one to go to as a child and then always ending up in abusive relationships as an adult after thinking it’s just normal bc I’ve always been told I was this horrible person that deserves it, just eats at you so much. When I find someone that truly just gets it, and understands and empathizes with that pain and tells me these things, it brings tears to my eyes. That’s what I always wanted to hear from my parents and loved ones, but I don’t know if I ever will. I wasn’t sent to somewhere like this but I was sent to a school for bad kids similar to this type of military type of treatment and isolation. It’s so crazy how much I’ve disassociated myself from it, but I still remember. And remember how much pain I was going through that lead me to act out the way I did. All I wanted was for someone to give a fck about me for once. The only ones that did would abuse me and bully me and send me mixed messages of love and hate.
Thank you so much for doing these videos, you have no idea how much this means to me
Yeah, that’s where I broke down too, for the same core reason. Really helps to hear Dr. Honda’s message. ❤️
same ... those words hit me hard too i was fighting back tears....i love dr. Honda's videos. This is the therapy we need
Sending much healing thoughts/energy 💜💜💜
Thank you for sharing, you literally put words to my life. We just gotta do everything we can to hold on to that little hope we have inside and that little voice that now and again pops up to tell us we do deserve kindness and respect and that other people's behavior or opinions is not on us, I truly believe that that voice will get louder and louder and it will be easier to recognize and believe in time, just keep listening to that voice as much as you possible can, that's your truth 💜💜💜
@@flowersafeheart Thank you kind Stranger, may you be healed aswell. I hope you're having a wonderful day and are surrounded by love and happiness.
🤗🤗🤗
I think it’s really telling how she says “knew me before I became this...THING” its interesting that she doesn’t identify with her current self and creates this detachment or disassociation with her identity. And by calling it “thing” it seems as if she harbours a lot of disgust and hatred towards who she has become. When you don’t recognize yourself and can’t accept yourself it is no surprise that she feels so lonely :(
Thank you for explaining common PTSD vs. Complex PTSD.
I have C-PTSD. I worked for 4 years with a trauma specialist. I am awear of my triggers and my responses. I am alive. Thank you for your analysis of this doc. I watched it and never would have thought that I could relate in anyway to Paris Hilton. Im proud of her for all the work she is doing on herself and for others. It was the DJ world that gave me peace 1st as well..I'm reinvigorated by her testimony ❤
Good for you for getting help! Paris has created armor that had well and truely hidden herself but she is a trauma survivor and she is working through her trauma to protect others. I'm glad that her actions can help others. Stay safe friend.
My parents send me to boarding school at 15, I was the youngest in class. We had to clean 🧼 the entire school for 3 months, military style, folder the bedding as perfect square, the coach would use his finger touch the edge of the bed Frame to see if any dust! We had to wear military uniform In 100 degrees hot summer, force to stand in the sun for hours and hours no water, no excuse to leave! I remember call my parents at night crying, ask them if I am been abandoned! I never think about that horrible chapter ever again. It was run away from horrible childhood to server punishment of teen! To experience my anxious attachment style , lack of trust people’s intentions seems all Linked together!
Watching this must've been awful for you. I'm so sorry you had to suffer through a prison camp like that.
I went to a "good boarding school" meant for kids who were talented and special. The practices in all boarding institutions are inherently harmful to most children. No free time, no real privacy, endless work, thousands of hours of manual labor. I'd be awake from 7 am to 2 am working all day, in a month I'd developed an eating disorder and no one ever noticed, I didn't sleep or eat and the other students were so miserable it was hard to bond with others. There were kids at my school who almost died from hunger, neglect, medical emergencies that were never treated. People run schools like this often to control students, they like to see how much they can do to us before we crack. When I tried committing suicide they locked me in a room for a day, no contact with anyone, no water or food, just an empty room with a mattress and my suicidal thoughts. Your experience was much more severe then mine but in many ways the experience is still universal. Military schools in particular are terrifying and I've met many former boarding kids who have never healed from the trauma they experienced there. I really hope that you're finding some peace now in life, I'm happy you survived it.
damn Im sorry, these schools are prisons for teens. They should be shut down completely
Im really sorry that you been mistreath . I hope you foud closure 💜❤💙
This is terrible. I’m so sorry you went through this. These “schools” need to be shut down
I really hope that somehow Paris comes across your videos in hopes that it will start her healing process. You provide the validation and understanding she needs, and you also seem well versed in trauma which as you explained, can be really difficult to treat. She deserves happiness, she had it stolen from her when she was only a teen.
I love this comment! That'd be awesome if Paris sees this video. Great point!
Yes!
20:27 I needed to hear those words so badly that I burst in to tears immediately. It’s so hard to break the habit of blaming yourself for everything when it’s all you ever known. I feel comfort watching these videos because they make me feel like I’m not alone or that I’m not crazy. Thank you for your videos. They help more than you’ll know.
❤
Played this part over and over again, trying to convice myself what you sort of deep down know, but hearing someone else say it make it feel more real.
elsa nilbbit it’s especially hard when you’ve convinced yourself that they’re lying bc you know it’s not true. Changing the way we think is so frustrating
Deto❤️
Same! Literally balled and felt he was speaking directly to me!
Psychology Major here! This whole experience with Paris's life has really made up my mind on treating trauma. I want to help people with this problem not only because it's so important but because I know so many people that deal with it everyday and it just hurts my heart seeing what they go through. I've noticed that not many therapists treat child/adolescent sexual abuse and I would really like to help in that experience as well ❤️ My heart goes out to you all dealing with these traumatic events. I hope you have found help and stability in some way or are on the journey to find that healing for yourself.
Yes Victoria!!! You are so needed out there...I wish you good luck with your studies and I am happy that caring people like you are embarking on that field 💚
I'm someone very far along in my CPTSD recovery, have healed so many layers so here to remind people recovery is possible!! Holistic trauma recovery is a lifestyle choice I choose every day for the rest of my life! Thank you to everyone who helps themselves and/or others with trauma prevention and recovery! Us healing helps others heal.
Not willing to give TMI, but watching her doc triggered me at some points and I had to pause several times. Because I can relate so much... I saw a lot of myself in her. Like putting on a façade, acting like a robot to distance oneself from one's own emotions and struggles. Thankfully I've been in good hands since a few years 😌
Anyways, discovered your channel because your 1st This Is Paris reaction video was in my recommended section - got me hooked! Thanks for your insight, Dr. Honda - it's super interesting to hear a clinician's perspective on that subject. x
This is also me.
Watching these videos has been hard to get through.
It’s kinda reopened a few unresolved issues for me. That I’ve pushed so far down. It’s hard. There definitely should be a warning. Just because I as well as many probably assumed it was going to be a bit more light hearted.
It is really mind blowing like you said that she built this entire persona who I truly believed existed. I didn’t even want to watch these videos about Paris because I thought it was going to be something completely different. I am glad I did, she seems very genuine and forthcoming with her past traumatic experiences and I hope that it can help some people with their own past or at the very least provides some closure for her and those other ladies.
Me too
Um she did it to make millions of dollars off of poor ppl
R M how? Also if you can make money off of doing something good I don’t really mind
yeah from day 1 I always felt like Paris was wayy smarter than she looked, and part of me is happy to get a confirmation but also really sad... This woman needs to heal so badly
You're an amazing person and seem like a fantastic therapist. Your patients are so lucky they have you to help them deal with their traumas. Thank you for everything you do ❤❤
And we're so lucky to have his insight via these reaction videos!
Well if he got the time to publish 2 videos a day, he must not have many patients if any.
It’s taken me years of going through different therapists to find the right one to help with all of my traumas, pre-Copper Canyon Academy (substance abuse, drinking, smoking cigarettes, rape, not going to school, watching my grandmother die, abusive relationship, abuse from my mother and step mother, self harming (cutting & burning), in & out of psych wards, & much more. Then during Copper Canyon Academy... going through all the emotional trauma and having to revisit my past, emotional “seminars” and having to let out my “feelings”, manual physical labor if I got in trouble, verbal abuse from staff members, and the worst my father passing away when I was at Copper Canyon Academy. I loved my father and he was the only person who loved me unconditionally besides my grandma who I watched die. Then after Copper Canyon Academy I just went crazy because I felt like a year of my life was taken away. I started the substance abuse, drinking and smoking cigarettes again, got back into several abusive relationships (just like Paris & Paris’ best friend from PROVO, I felt like I deserved the abuse), my relationship with my family became very estranged, I didn’t go to school (ended up having to go to a continuation school because my credits were so behind), I formed body dysmorphia, just withering away, I got a DUI, I got arrested again for drug possession, became an escort, and then I got diagnosed with cancer at age 27 (stage 4 cervical cancer). I never went to the hospital because I didn’t care to and because I was addicted to heroin, fentanyl, Xanax, and drinking. I was 89lbs (I’m 5”8) when I got hospitalized with a hemoglobin at 3 when I’m supposed to be at a 12 or 13. Now that I’m sick I found a very great therapist, I’m clean and sober from hard drugs, I don’t smoke cigarettes anymore, I have a wonderful fiancé, and I have the proper medication to help me with my anxiety. I am on Valium and take 10mg 4x a day. My therapist is wonderful and I love her dearly. Just also want to bring awareness that these schools don’t do ANY GOOD, or the “wilderness” camps. All the women who I went to Copper Canyon Academy when we were fucking children are all still traumatized. So many of the women have suffered or still suffer from drug addiction, alcoholism, abusive relationships, suicide, and most of all PTSD & trauma. If you’re a parent and you’re reading this DO NOT send your teenager to these “wilderness” camps or schools like Copper Canyon Academy (now known as Sedona Sky Academy due to lawsuits... oh yeah Dr. Phil has sent girls to my “bad teenage girl” schools. Your child will resent you and turn out worse. I 100% believe I have cancer from all the trauma from my life. I believe if I never went to Copper Canyon Academy and was taken to a proper therapist and gotten another source of help my life would be way different. ALTHOUGH I have stage 4 cervical cancer, I can say having a wonderful therapist, fiancé, and friends who support and love me has helped immensely.
I’m so sorry.
Kamila Jones thank you 🙏🏻
Wow, you are one 🌟STRONG🌟 person to have survived all that. Thank you for voicing your story and it's really wonderful that you have some good support in your life and hopefully no abuse anymore. Sending lots of healing thoughts/energy your way. Please remember always to speak to yourself with deeply nurturing kindness and care. You got this!! 💜💜💜🌿
Flower 🌸 thank you for your kind words. I only dealt with abusive men and rapists until I met my fiancé is the most wonderful selfless person I’ve ever met. He has taken such wonderful care of me. He makes sure I take my meds, that I’m eating, checks up on my mental health, helps with my sobriety. And my friends are also a great support. It took me forever to weed out all the toxic people in my life. Even this year I had to weed some people out because they were creating stress for me and just being absolutely insane & narcissistic. I’m at a time in my life where I can only handle love and positivity.
oh2b16again yup.....
Dr Honda, you radiate such a respectable and loving aura. Thank you for your work and for sharing your insight with us all
I’m not even 5mins in and he has me crying bc he’s given me hope.
Anyone else fall in love when he said “with more education and more experience”?
YAS👏👏 I get stuck with the doctors who believe they know and have seen it all. These have been some younger doctors too 🤦♀️
As a young-ish doctor, I attest to this. 😆😢 we have a phase that we hve to pretend to be “all knowing”. Or we feel like so because we fresh out of school, board exam and thought we’ve seen it ALL! But as we mature as doctors and gain more experience... we become more confident in admitting that we are not all knowing. 😇🙏
So glad you reacted to Paris' doc, I've never been a person of great wealth or privilege but I can recognize authenticity when I see and hear it, I think she's amazing for putting this out there particularly for people in her class, the wealthy need love and support too, authentically.
21:09 @psychologyinseattle Doctor Kirk Honda, what you said brought me to literal tears 😭 I’m crying as I write this shizz because I’ve never heard someone say it wasn’t my fault in the way that you said that. Thank you 🙏🏽 it’s been hard and to hear it that way really did something emotional to me. Idk 😐 thank you.
Same. I didn't realize I still needed to hear that after all this time 😭
This is París is the most popular series you’ve done. I love that you’re breaking it down.
20:22 it felt like dr. Honda was speaking directly to me, I didn't realize how much I needed to hear that it brought up lots of tears
her documentary and your videos really made me realise some things. I have been told to go to therapy for years and I have been thtinking about it but I am so terrified of being misunderstood by someone who is supposed to help me again, that I just cannot bring myself to it...
I have been speaking openly about my trauma and I have been working through it by talking to friends and colleagues sometimes
and I have been figuring out stuff like "the reason why I react like that to that situation is that thing that happened back when I was 7"
hearing you say we should be careful and check our heartbeat and all and realising how just hearing "ifyou suffer from ptsd you should slow down and check in on yourself" makes me tear up
man. I should really see a therapist but I'm just so scared of things going wrong again
I can relate to your fears. But if you decide to go to therapy, give yourself time to find the therapist that you feel comfortable with. Someone who can create a safe environment for YOU. There are so many different types of therapy, different approaches and level of experience of psychologists themselves that sometimes it's not easy to find the right one. And there is nothing wrong in changing a therapist if you feel so. Good luck!
Alexa Markó I believe in you, and you can do it! Sending lots of empathy and power to you!
I can imagine how terrifying this must be. One thought to make it easier: you don‘t have to tell the therapist anything you aren‘t ready for at the beginning. You can build trust first, as dr honda said, and just tell them you have trauma and trust is incredibly important for you to open up so you want to take your time.
It may help you to hear a suggestion to interview a bunch of therapists/counselors and remember you can always say no. You don't need to worry about hurting their feelings. After the interview, after a session, part way through a session, anytime. You always get to say, "I've decided doing therapy with you isn't the right fit for me right now after all." No matter what your reason is. Same with any other healing modality too. I've been to a range of therapists, counselors, coaches and found that helpful to stay in touch with my empowered choice and voice about it like that! Especially cause it was so uncomfortable having them sometimes chosen for me. Hope that helps!
Oh and I just now saw the other similar comments here too. Yes, awesome advice!!
I can relate to everything you are saying
Thank you so much for doing this series with a clinician’s perspective. So many people carry around trauma and we can feel isolated, as if we are the only ones. I’m also so thankful that Paris is normalizing and using her power to bring attention to the child prison camps. Thank you x3
Agreed 💜
I'm so happy Dr. Honda talked about the need for covering emotional awareness, stress awareness, stress tolerance, emotional management etc. before talking about trauma with the patient. The first doc I went to for treatment didn't cover any of this and after months of his "treatment" I got to the point where I almost couldn't function in daily life. I did not realize he was unintentionally retraumatizing me. Its been a year since then, and I'm still trying to undo the damage of that first "therapy" on top of treating my CPTSD. Many trauma "specialists" still abide by outdated treatment practices which do not account for the emotional impact of the treatment itself.
Thank you so much for articulating your experience and I'm really sorry you went through that pain.
Every therapist should be educated in trauma.
The books "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel van der Kolk and "Healing Developmental Trauma" by Laurence Heller and Aline Lapierre should be required reading.
Yup 👍
... Another one related to these schools "Help At Any Cost" for details about the TTI (Troubled Teen Industry). NATSAP is where they connect and strategize too prey on parents. 😣
I cannot thank you enough for the best explanation of PTSD vs. CPTSD that I’ve ever heard. I finally got it! (And I have watched many, many videos). I never want this series to end. What I wouldn’t give to have you as a therapist. One thing I’ve never understood about the rich and famous, is that many don’t seek out therapy when they can get the best of the best! I 🙏🏼 Paris gets the help she needs. 💞 Perhaps there is always the fear that the person will leak out the information. I could never have the heart to do that and I’m really suffering financially. 20:07-20:22 Homegirl is on point and I needed to hear that! 🔥 oh wow, I just listened to what you said directly after that and I humbly thank you kind sir for saying what you said and looking at us through the camera with such heartfelt energy. I needed to hear that soooo bad! 🙏🏼😢💕🙏🏼
They may not seek therapy because of a culture prioritizing the potential embarrassment to the family over individual needs, along with the constant reinforcement that they're just being dramatic, mixed with the fact that they never had anyone that they could trust to protect them growing up, because their family's money would ensure that anything that was potentially embarrassing would be swept under the rug (with police, with prosecutors, with employees, with anyone). Just watch some of the interviews with Abigail Disney and what she said about the alcoholism and abuse in her family.
raven3moon thank you for that perspective and I will definitely check out those interviews!
omg I'm truly addicted to your content. I have been waiting for new videos today all day haha. First time so obsessed! I love psychology it's very interesting to me. Thanks for the videos you're uploading for us everyday!
The recent Mariah Carey interview with Oprah talks a lot about trauma, you should watch and react to it.
Yes! Her childhood up until her mid/late were all had awful traumas and abuse I can’t imagine how strong she is today. Her songs “looking in”, “petals” “side effects”. all hurt to listen to
@@Jenna-zw6zm Did you watch the interview? I thought she had a good relationship with her mom, but you later find out, she calls her by her name Patricia, it was a very reveling interview. I'm totally getting the book
@@billyguel yeah! i thought they were super close since she was on her xmas album II and performed together on some xmas special but i guess not considering patricia call 911 on her. Im definitely gonna read it too!
I haven’t watched this interview but I’m definitely interested but just hearing about her relationship with Tommy sounds terrible and on top of that childhood trauma I’m honestly mind blown that these people are even kind of normal. When people talk about celebrities being bitches and not wanting to pose with fans, they need to realize they are used and yanked and have no privacy it’s insane they need peace 🥺
No! Let him doing what he's doing best, which is "analyzing" "reality tv" "to bring awareness on mental issues", and let the legendary and precious Mariah Carey out of this mess.
My therapist doesn’t specialize in trauma. But I’ve been with her for a year and I’ve tried other trauma therapists and just can’t create the connection for a safe space. Can’t work with males and I have trouble connecting with females. I have complex ptsd. My current one is so amazing that she is learning more about trauma and trauma therapy. Continuing therapy with her, was the best decision I made. Being able to shed the constant flash backs I have have brought me so much peace. I have a long way to go but I’m finally excited for the journey.
Try reading the book or listening to RUclips lectures By Dr Bessel van der Kolk. The Body Keeps the Score. More to the story than talk therapy.
Toucan Tango I love reading, thank you so much for the recommendation. I found the book and I’ve got some of the videos saved for watch later.
Murphy Johnson
Awesome. He has a bit of an accent and his speaking style is low key, but when you really want to understand you plow through it. It’s worth it.
This is slowly becoming my favorite series of yours..it's making me more compassionate towards myself and others and is also positively affecting my relationship with my child.
💜🌟
If theres anyone I would want to go see as a therapist its Dr. Kirk Honda!!!
I just wanted to say thank you for doin these videos I watch all your videos. I live in Sweden! I love watching and listen to what you say and Im getting a lot of "Ahaa" moments watching you.
Love from Sweden ❤
/Linda
Hej! Jag heter också Linda och kollar på detta från Sverige :) Hoppas du har en bra kväll!
Watch the Drew Barrymore interview with Paris. I think a lot of us are curious on your thoughts about it.
I am! Please do!
Me too! I don’t know much about Drew Barrymore, but she sounds like a very self aware person.
Agreed! Dr Honda you gotta cover that one!!!!
@@beanie5677 I agree I'm not sure if Drew realized how much she made it about herself... And to hear the doc react would be dope
@@beanie5677 When the topic is discussing bringing awareness and empowering victims to speak about their experiences, then it's not inappropriate for Drew to talk about how Paris's experiences mirrored her own and how she felt. 2 people discussing what they went through and you've now made it about *you* and how *you* perceived it. Ironic, yes?
This hits home way too much... I legit can't even remember when I used to believe in myself or trust people other than my mom. I've never not had anxiety and panic attacks around strangers
Sending lots of healing energy 💜🌟 My CPTSD recovery has come so, so far and I want to remind you there is hope and healing is possible. You got this!
This is interesting I never heard anyone say they can cure PTSD...❤Goals
I had complex PTSD for decades, until I found a lovely therapist, much like dr Honda who helped me heal. I am now without any symptoms for two years. So it is possible and it is great!
Karin Bultje so happy for you!!! 💛💛
@@karinbultje2835 ❤
Whenever I feel anxious I listen and watch your videos. Thank you.
I watched her documentary just out of curiosity. I never imagined I would relate so much with her pain and some of her experiences. And I'm very glad I found this channel right after, it helped me to better understand these issues, through the comments of other survivors to not feel so alone and to realize that people who have/are/will hurt me are probably hurting too. Also, it made me have a little hope and not give up completely on mental health professionals (quite a few traumatized me even more), even if I need to reach them in a different country. I fortunately have had help and some important aspects of my life have improved a lot, but I still really need help to function properly and I feel like I've never found the right professional. Thank you so much for these videos!!!
Ya, I have trauma from being in a cult for 1 year just out of high school. I've been following what Paris is sharing bc I feel I relate to her trauma. About 7 minutes or so into this video here I had to start distracting myself & am now playing solitaire (my stress reliever). I'm listening to it still while playing solitaire bc I want to search for answers. I'm not the same since that year long experience that was near impossible to get out of. It's been over 20 years for me & it still haunts me.
@@a666rose Thank you.
I’m sorry & know how you feel. My 1st marriage was like being in a cult with his family, I was powerless & it just kept getting worse. The females in his family were powerless. He was the ring leader. Weird Sex shit too. 12 years. I’m glad to be alive today, 30 years later.
Same here.... my childhood still haunts me. Wish you all the best and a soon to be recovery 🍀
So glad to hear you’re out now. I hope you’re able to get help specific to your needs, to recover more fully 💐
I play solitaire too as a distraction, so weird. I wish you all the best in your recovery ❤️
I really felt her trigger moment so much. My traumas are triggered by seeing other people's anger, especially if I feel it's directed at me. I had a moment at work the other day, when I thought I could see someone start to react angrily at me. I swear I had a moment of complete dissociation, I felt the moment with such clarity. All I could hear was the radio playing, I literally took a step away and shook my head, then forced myself back into the moment. The funny thing is, this happened because I have acknowledged my traumas to myself and to a very few I trust, and I actually think the clarity is because I am healing. I could see and feel the moment for the first time, not just react. It was awful yet incredible at the same time. I'm so thankful that I found this channel 😔🙏💞
Edit : I picked this back up after the trigger warning made me realise I needed a break. I've done a quick internet search on Provo Canyon school. The testimonies of ex-staff on there only reinforce the survivors stories. It is horrifying reading. To everyone bullied and abused.......this shame is theirs. Not yours. 💐
That's amazing congratulations
@@vianeyboruel504 thank you 💐
No thank you for the inspiration
Watch your series gave me a whole different perspective to her documentary. I watched her documentary out of curiosity and didn't think of it much until your video and deep explanation of what is presented in the documentary. I can feel your genuine care for another human being without judgmental. It gives me comfort and hope. Thank you doctor!
As a survivor of one of provo's sister schools (carolina springs) I am so happy this is getting the attention it is and what Paris is doing to help bring awareness. Thank you for talking about it from the clinical side and everyone I see supporting us! When you are there, there is no one to help you. You're completely isolated with the abuse, no phones, no access to child advocates, friends, family. Everything you do with people from the outside is monitored and it's VERY difficult to get out or let anyone know what they are doing to you. I was there 2.5 years, 20 years later and it still affects my life daily.
I’ve loved this series, thank you for your compassion and wisdom. The documentary really opened my eyes and changed my view of Paris, she’s actually adorable.
I went to boarding school at age 11 (parents lived overseas) and can confirm it was highly traumatic. I was bullied by some of the adults working there, both in the school and boarding house. And it definitely affected my ability to trust people, especially authority figures. I never considered how it impacted my attachment style but very interesting to hear what you had to say about that. Thank you so much for your great work and generosity in sharing the knowledge 🙏
💜
Thank you for doing these interviews. They were so thoughtful and well-put. I appreciated it SO much!
Thank you for doing this series. Honestly I feel ashamed that I just wrote her off as a person based on her public persona and I really wasn't even into the first 4 episodes you did. I pride myself on not being prejudice and all that, maybe my harsh judgement just stuck with me because I made it many years ago as an immature teen but still, feeling pretty ashamed. Thankfully it turns out I do have a heart and I'm really looking forward to more of this series.
Thanks for your honesty! That inspires me. I guess the truth is I had rude judgments of Paris too and that's not okay. It's amazing how much more relatable and likeable a person can quickly become when they show their vulnerability and we realize we've been through in some ways a similar deep hardship and struggle and even (if one chooses to use this word) disability.
I love that there's so much care in the comments here. So many of us have been through trauma and are at different stages of recovery.
I have CPTSD and it is like peeling a onion layer by layer. I've been in therapy for 3 years. After a breakthrough I thought it was over but then something else comes up and so my therapist and I would work through each issue. I've made tremendous progress, but still have some things to work on. It really is a tiresome work. It took 2 years for my therapist to even get through to me bc I couldn't trust her. It was frustrating for both of us, if I shared a trauma I would get exhausted it wasn't liberating it was painful. It wasn't until I confronted the people responsible I felt liberated and from then on my therapist made great progress. Watching this was very painful and relatable I cried watching this because everything she spoke about putting on a mask and not showing our true selves. Being vulnerable was extremely painful it felt like I'd rather die than share my shame or pain. Now it's become more normal to be vulnerable and I've been able to make more genuine connections to people. My deepest compassion for Paris.
Thanks so much for your share and the onion metaphor and I'm glad you're healing. Has been like an onion, layer by layer, for me too though of course all our journeys are different.
@@flowersafeheart Much love to you and your healing
thank you for the reminder to check in with myself .
I definitely learned something today about therapy because trauma for me almost always was the first session...
I had seen psychologists / counselors for a large part of my childhood and teenage years because my parents, grandparents were abusive physically and verbally. In fact, of my first favorite quotes to say to people as a 4-5 year old was “Tell me all about it and when did it start” . Which everyone thought was so funny but I now find it kind of sad!
Anyway, during these sessions we would always “open” with the most traumatic parts it seems , and I’d been to so many appointments like this that I could easily talk about it without showing much emotion, even as a child. I totally didn’t understand how much it had effected me but I knew I wanted the therapist to think I was OK (and not get my parents in trouble...) I always hated going to these appointments because I would feel so depressed afterwards.
Luckily, later in life - my mid teen years, I had found an awesome therapist that I worked well with. Even my dad seemed to click with her, and she had gotten my whole family (mom, dad , brother ) involved with the counseling, talking to them separate from each other and us all together. She literally changed my life, I started to feel physically safe again. My dad and mom stopped being physically abusive from that point on, my brother was more aware of his actions / anger and I felt so much more important and valued as a person in general, becoming more aware of my emotions and their relation to trauma . My insurance changed after a few years and I moved away, but it goes to show you the difference a great therapist can make . There is definitely hope!
💜💜💜🌟🌟🌟
Watching this documentary a second time with your commentary is adding a lot for me. Thank you for this series
Thank you for all your input Doc. Your reviews help me see things in a different point of view as I suffer multiple mental illnesses but C PTSD thats disabling... It means so much to hear you speak on every review I see. Excited to hear more podcasts!!!!
I appreciate you checking in with your viewers. I did feel pretty tense watching these videos about Paris, but I find them so interesting. Always learning a lot by watching your videos!
Thank you for these videos Dr. Honda, I found your channel through this series and would like to say that you seem like a very empathetic, insightful, caring and experienced therapist. Your patients are lucky to have you
Mr. Honda you are so humble and caring! Makes me happy to know good people and good therapists like you exist!
I had a major breakthrough watching and listening to you explain things... I'm feeling emotions I've suppressed for decades, another level of awareness of the abuse I suffered... And I'm very grateful I have a therapist to help me through. Thank you
WOW. The first bit of this was really informative and relevant, about how opening people's trauma right away is very upsetting to them. Man, I wish I had you as a therapist, or someone equally competent.
Thank you so much for addressing the comment about fear of therapy caused by these schools. I have this same problem for the same reason. Obviously there's no easy answer, but it meant a lot to me just to hear you acknowledge it.
Best wishes to you 💐
Same
❤
Never thought I’d have so much in common with Paris Hilton. And I was never kidnapped or physically abused, it doesn’t even take that to be traumatized. I can’t even imagine that and I’m so sorry for Paris and for the millions of other people around the world who go through so much terrible trauma and never learn how to heal or get to experience a safe, healthy, loving relationship with the people around them. I’ve just started my own journey to healing and am already feeling hopeful for the future. My suicidal ideation and bouts of depression are still happening, but I’m hanging in there because I think I can come out of this sometime and live a confident, loving life. I hope so.
After watching a few of your videos and hearing you share your insights I could not help but press the subscribe button with of course the bell... Brilliant, just brilliant.
Remember you said take care of yourselves while watching? The moment they sat together and the one survivor said it's not your shame, it's theirs, and you started saying it to the camera I started to feel out of breath and started sobbing. I can't really afford therapy and the public health system in my country is very bad so I've tried to educate myself on how to deal with the trauma. These kinda content helps because I understand a little bit more through the experiences of other survivors and the insight of a mental health professional specialized in trauma. Thank you for all the information and the care you put into your work.
Literally waited for this upload ,and now will be waiting and checking for tomorrow’s.Bravo sir.
Thanks for all these videos. I appreciate your insight and expertise, weighing in on this very serious matter of how we deal with trauma. I enjoyed both the documentary and your thoughts on it. I hope there will be one more...your take on her mother’s reaction.
It feels so important to hear you talk about your own learning process as a therapist with such humility. I think it's great that you also talked about not just education, but experience. Being willing to keep learning as you go is so crucial. Sometimes mental health professionals who don't have their own lived experience of trauma, PTSD, etc. (or just don't have an experience of it that is similar to the client's) do a lot of harm because they assume that education alone has given them all the expertise they need, and they don't pay attention to what the individual in front of them is really needing. Education is obviously important, but learning from people with lived experience is also crucial, and so is being willing to think critically about the education you received and the norms of the mental health field. I have seen other videos on YT by mental health professionals talking about Paris' story, and some were quite dismissive and patronizing. It's so important to have voices like yours in these conversations to emphasize empathy and humility.
If I was Paris I would hire Dr. Honda as her therapist. She’d know some of the ways he would respond already to her and he is both compassionate and rational. Makes me feel safe.
Impressed by your competence and your capability in explaining quite difficult subjects
So wholesome, I actually watched the Paris documentary today and it kinda triggered me. I could see myself in the younger sister, and it gave me some anxiety and guilt. So I've searched to find someone that has a professional opinion on the matter. I'm so glad I came across this video because now I can focus this new knowledge and compassion on my own situation. Thank you so much for this and for being a great person.
Kirk! I love this series! Add this to the this is Paris playlist!
Thank you for your insight! It helps explaining some of the issues my ex had. He had a lot of trauma and he shared those traumas with me quite often. In the beginning I absolutely felt honored by his trust and sharing, but he never came to a resolution. Those memories just kept making him feel bad over and over again, like a bad habit he was stuck in. I suspected my listening to him wasn't helpful, and I see now what was lacking in emotional awareness. I hope he will find a skilled therapist who can help him with that.
💜🌟
Thank you for emphasizing the importance of being aware of feelings within the body. Vipassana meditation has really helped me with this because it teaches you to be aware of sensations, and observe them without judgment.
I actually sat my first 10 day course in Onalaska, WA at the Northwest Vipassana Center.
Thank you so much for these videos I cried when you said it's not our shame but theirs, I find you so empathetic in these videos it helps bring back my trust in therapy since my last therapist was constlantly judging me. thank you.
This series was awesome! Thank you so much!!
I wish all therapists were like Dr. Kirk Honda
I so appriciate your thoughtful analysis. This is my first exposure to you and I'm so glad I found your channel! I've been a student of psychology for a decade (ended up getting a BSW with a minor in psych) and am headed for macro practice informed by folks like you, research and my own personal trauma history. You're a great communicator and its clear you're likely a great resource for your clientele. Thanks for doing what your doing and keep it up! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Your the first therapist I feel comfortable watching
Your explanation are so soothing and thoughtful
I’m glad I’ve come across it’s been hard getting to see therapists during covid
Dr. Honda, I want to thank you from the bottom of heart for making these reaction videos to the Paris Hilton documentary. Like many, I never really cared much for or about Paris, and seeing the documentary totally shifted my way of thinking of her. In watching the docu I really felt that there were MANY similarities between her trauma and the way her life has been affected by it, and myself. I've been through a lot of the same trauma, and I deal with it in many of the same ways she does. Like a lot of people in my age group, I don't have the luxury of being able to afford therapy. Your reaction videos really opened my eyes! I related to and understood completely the analysis you gave. Thank you again. I think maybe now I have a better understanding of why I feel the way I feel, and I think maybe now I can really start to work on myself. So thank you, thank you, thank you! I literally can not thank you enough! Keep doing you! Much love,
-Kit
You should watch the interview she does with Drew Barrymore.
Im sure he would have a lot to say about that! Hopefully he does
Agreed!
That interview was so weird IMO. I felt like drew kept invalidating Paris’ experience at Provo.
@@Jenna-zw6zm I think the reason why it's so awkward is because her and Paris weren't actually face to face during the interview. They both shot them seperately in front of a green screen cause Drew's in New York and Paris went to their L.A. studio and then they just edited it together. They did the actual interview over a video chat and and then you have delay, the sound and video quality might've been off during the interview and that's why it's weird.
Drew interview was terrible , I hope Dr. Honda takes a look at it too
Thought I'm over it long ago, but hearing those sentences from you at 20:26 instantly made me cry. Thank you Kirk ❤️
Excellent program! Thank you!! 👍🙂
This whole series of commentary has been fascinating. Drew Barrymore did an interesting short interview with Paris Hilton where she reflected her own more positive experience at one of these teen behavioral camps. It would be cool to see Dr. Honda's thoughts on this.
I've seen the video and the positive comments it got but actually, I don't think it was that great. To me, it was obvious that Drew thinks positive of these camps and judged Paris for speaking out against them quite a bit, all while telling her she understands. I think she also mentioned something along the lines of: she (Drew) deserved it back then and it actually helped her. She then proceeded to tell Paris she completely understands, even though Paris was obviously abused and traumatised by it. It felt gaslighty to me to be honest, because she seemed to come from the perspective of "yeah, it was tough but at least it helped me become a better person". Very awkward, because she kept telling her they went through the same thing, while Paris started to withdraw, put on her fake persona and fawned making her compliments for the interview (she could probably sense that something was off). One of the most uncomfortable interviews I ever watched. To me, Drew gave off the same vibe Paris sister had in the documentary (minimising the abuse).
@@janinebraul3954 came to say exactly this
@@janinebraul3954 I felt the same as you and reading the comment everyone seems to praise Drew, she said I understand you I went threw the same and it was AMAZING !!
It's ok to have different perspective about the same thing as long as we dont invalidate the experience of others.
I remember she talked about Paris mom too saying good things about her while Paris talked about how controling she was.
It's like if you had been bitten by a dog and now you are afraid of them and someone love them because they even were a huge emotional support and tell you that while you are explaining how scared you are of them it makes you feel like you are too sensitive.
Janine Braul I have been wondering about that interview as well. It was clear Paris was very cautious and guarded during that discussion.
I am wondering if Drew Barrymore has farmed her experience in this way as a method of coping and surviving. I don’t think she is all that pulled together -I think behind the scenes she may still be struggling. She has been through three marriages, which may not be a big thing in Hollywood, but it is not the norm in the real world at her age. I am not putting her down, just saying that I think it is an indicator that she may still not have a great emotional foundation. She had that crazy childhood with her hippy parents, so it is understandable.
I wonder if Drew was really being honest with herself she could acknowledge the detriment being in that environment caused and work on healing from it.
@@renaudlevasseur8327 Exactly. The dog analogy is on point. It was the most bizarre interview I have ever seen and I don't really get why it is so hyped and gets so many positive comments.
I really appreciate this series looking forward seeing more of this kind of series.
Also I wonder what was your reaction to Paris telling her mother about all of this.
thank you for the disclaimer, taking a break, the similarities in triggering @ 7:57 mins. I did feel quickly escalating into shortness of breath and chest tightness watching the content. Thanks for the self-check-in reminder as I was able to calm back down before I wrecked the remainder of my day.
Thank you. With so much reality tv out there is good to have this types of reactions. Brings lots of awareness.
I was very lucky to be able to find access to a therapist willing to do sliding scale for EMDR. It was incredibly difficult but I don’t have night terrors, anymore. Something interesting: Alexian Brothers in Hoffman States, Illinois has a program that employs the use of virtual tech with their EMDR. I think it mainly focuses on veterans.
You man are such a compassionate human. Asking us audience to slow down and take a break from watching if we have PTSD. Got me crying by your caring words.
This man has so much love and compassion. I wish there were more people like this in the world. Thank you for the great content and for spreading love. 🙏💖
As a developing therapist working with Trauma clients this is SO enriching and helpful. Hearing your analysis and your stories is so helpful. I focus a lot on body work and after we have done the development of safety and therapeutic rapport building and trust development. I definitely had a moment of looking at Paris that in some parts she was re-triggered and walls up and some aspects were healing. When you watch her interviews on talk shows she clearly been re-traumatized. I have had trauma myself so I understand the gradualness and set them up for success. I’m definitely going to be walking down the path to full trauma training because its so necessary and so many people are looking for it.
I think that by watching you comment on the documentary I came to understand that I might have trauma as well, would fall under the cptsd as the description resonated a lot and I can immediately remember a moment ib my life that seems to have been the origin of it. It has affected my life but am not even aware how much as I never thought it could have this much power, especially it happening over 20 years ago. Thank you for sharing your knowledge with us. Sending love and light to all of you people who are learning more about yourselves and taking small steps towards healing.
This was very very comforting. Thank you for having us stop and observe our bodies, I didn't realize how tense I was and my ability to release it.
You did a truly excellent job on this reaction series. You contributed so many interesting points and added some unique perspectives which add another layer to her story. Thank you!
This was a beautiful episode with so many important things touched upon.
You have no idea how much you've helped me and still do
Amazing. You are decoding the layers of what they’re really saying and feeling. I’m wowed Dr. Honda. 😲👍