Best of the Worst: The Item, The Crawlers, and Blood Lock
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- Опубликовано: 18 сен 2024
- www.redletterme... - Booooo! It's a spooooooky new Halloween-themed Best of the Worst. What horrifying films await the group? Who will survive and what will be left of them?
“Oh honey no, not for this movie” is one of my favourite lines of this series.
@@undercovergiraffe571 The best part of the delivery is the fact that Jack's head kind of looks like a potato in the zoom.
@@GoredonTheDestroyer
What are you talking about? Jack's head is a potato.
6:22
Forreal! one of my favorite Jack P Line xD
Jack is amazing.
I’m glad “The Item” wasn’t in a recent episode because Mike definitely would’ve found some way to vote for it as Best of the Worst
It was new to the pallet 🤌
A
@@codyw518came here to reply with this exact comment but you beat me to on 10 months ago.
Rich has only two modes: not giving a shit and laughing like a squeak toy.
That's cuz he's fucking Rich!
Trollificusv2 What do you mean? I love the screaming banshee!
*rich evans noise*
Chris Kay also Star Trek
Did he fart while laughing at the package?
Jack pleading with the actress not to take her shirt off made me lose my shit.
"Oh no honey, not for this movie!"
+Brace110 06:20
+Mark RB Did you watch an american psycho? forced stripping/beer pouring scene
+Mark RB Oh sorry I got the title wrong it's "psycho from texas" theres a best of the worst on it as well
@@Official_Rik I quote this far too often when watching B-movies.
The Item director literally wanted to emulate Pulp Fiction, and then managed to ignore the fact that Tarantino never showed what was inside the suitcase.
Kind of a beautiful metaphor for the guy fundamentally not really understanding Tarantino.
"Wouldn't Pulp Fiction be better if they showed what was in the briefcase?"
"But whatever item was in the briefcase was never important. It was just a McGuffin for Vincent and Jules to have an adventure."
"That's it! In my movie, the item in the briefcase will be the adventure! That will even be the movie's title: The Item."
"..."
A conversation that probably happened with the director of The Item.
@@Pazuzu4All But what was Obi Wan doing when he was a hermit on Tatooine, WE NEED A STORY ABOUT THAT- because he was hermit in old star wars- that's not just a way to establish he's an outsider- no it's hinting THAT THERE IS A GREAT POWERFUL STAR WARS ESQUE STORY TO BE TOLD THERE! - its almost like if you have one singular goal to be derivative of what people know- its going to suck because you've missed what made the actually good thing you're stealing from good ( a well written and thoughtfully structured twisting story with a point and is engaging to watch as a moopie)
Something tells me The Item and The Obi Wan show will not be as timelessly iconic as Pulp Fiction or the 1977 Star Wars
Probably one of those people who thinks the movie would've been better if Tarantino _did_ show what was inside the suitcase…
It is bizarre and amazing that as an ex Blockbuster Video assistant manager I have seen a lot of these gems. Seeing the box art for these is like a trip down memory lane.
Did you ever see a Movie Melt Heat Sensor?
I used to work for VPD (video products distributors, basically a supply and logistics warehouse for film distributors to get their shit to video stores across northwest Ohio and southeast Michigan...basically we served all the video stores in Toledo and Detroit) and got a ton of screener copies of films for free. Many I've seen on here lol...
I bet that job was amazing.
Working at blockbuster from 17 to 20 then again from 28 till they all shut down. I still miss it, even tho it didn't pay excellent, even at store manager wage, I would take the hit if I could still be at blockbuster 😢
You're my hero!
Mike’s completely lifeless delivery of “It’s not gonna stop him. He’s gonna walk around the fridge” absolutely kills me
He turned into Plinkett for a moment
My favourite clip they showed of The Item was the one near the beginning with the screaming guy in a headlock; because for some bizarre reason they did CG on his face to elongate his mouth near the end of it. It looks tucking weird!
Yeah I noticed that too, most people are too focused on the intense facial acting between the other two characters
Oh my god I've never noticed that until now, on my like 90th rewatch of this episode. It's unironically fucking horrifying, wtf.
3:09
Thanks for the time stamp
That shot and the characters sliding into frame makes it feel like it's trying to imitate a cartoon. Like edgy looney tunes? Or maybe the director was one of those early anime fans?
Happy birthday, Rich Evans.
*Happy birthday, Dick the Birthday Boy.
I hope he gets a nice package for his birthday.
"Their curiosity gets the better of them and they decide to investigate their package" Such an amazing quote.
until you realize that it was an intentional innuendo and the movie is absolutely terrible
The same thing happened to me when I was 12...the investigation is still ongoing.
Rich always sits in his special chair.
it's a folding chable.
Rich is a special boy. He needs a special chair.
Only when Yoko is around
clockwork1246 nope
*The chair has it's regular puppet talk for it.
You can tell Mike is classy because he's the only one that holds his wine glass correctly.
Finger smudges? lol no. Wine glasses have a stem so the warmth of you hand doesn't change the temperature of the wine. Every type of wine has a specific temperature where it tastes best.
Na dudes, doesn’t matter with red wine. Only with white wine or chilled wine.
Well as the resident raging alcoholic it would make sense.
It doesn't matter with most red wines.
Because he learned about manners and who needs them.
I'm so disappointed that this episode didn't end with a gunshot in the dark.
i actually JUST discovered these and i now know what's been missing from my life. It has a name : Best of the Worst.
That is the name. YOU FUCK!
If these were the options in a latter episode Mike would have went with The Item and he would even have an explanation why. It might not be a good explanation but it would be there.
“I found it so pretentious and annoying that it kept me engaged the whole time, while I was mostly bored with the other two.”
It was new to the palette
@@Arvidsicool When his parents found him eating dog poop when he was 10, all Mike could do was shrug and say "It was new to the palette."
I always come back to this episode the most because of their reaction to the extreme edginess of The Item.
Jay getting so angry about the dude doing his "I'm rolling on a skateboard" thing gets me every time.
I love how Mike just knows what'll set Rich off. Oh, that glorious laugh...
The sliding bits is Tetsuo the Iron Man. It's Shinya Tsukamoto influence. Remember it's the '90s.
If it's imitating Tetsuo, it's doing it badly... and thoughtlessly.
IIRC you only see that being done by characters that are basically monsters to show a strange kind of locomotion they have. All the 'fast motion' parts they use tie into the movie's insanely experimental visual style, it's (intentionally) never smooth, too.
...and if true, that's still not much better than the example they give of jiangshi in HK films. It'd be like having normal people acting like they had rigor mortis for no reason.
Or Spike Lee..
I was in middle school when I got this film from Blockbuster.
I was so excited to see the reptilian monster and it started getting super violent and gory
The puppet showed up and I got super upset and felt betrayed, it's eyes were even sewn shut!
The weird scene happened at the end and I stared wide eyed over at grandma....
Asleep in her chair.
That poem was art, man.
Bravissima
Dodged one very embarrassing bullet there.
Maybe she would have liked it?
Grandma had the better evening.
Mike is always wearing running shoes but I'll bet he never runs.
+ghostdog2041 Thyroid conditions can only cause a maximum of 5-10 lbs weight gain, which is fairly rare even amongst people with thyroid conditions.
+T Fuller wait...i just got to 30:07 and i take it back.
+James Brincefield
Ew, he fuck with shoes on? That's just tacky.
He runs to the liquor store when there's a sale.
Us overweight people like to buy running shoes, bicycles, weights, treadmills, etc...because we like to tell ourselves that if we have those things, we'll be motivated to use them. Many of us do. We hit it hard in the first week. We go for a jog. We lift those weights...then somebody invites you to a cookout.
when you leave best of the worst on while you fall asleep and then rich's laugh throws you into a waking nightmare!!!! it has happened to me a few times.
Hear hear. I hear him in my dreams.
Well, a sleeping nightmare, but yeah, that literally just happened to me
I guess one requirement to be a part of Red letter media is to have a insane laugh: (Jessies screecher laugh, Wizards squaking and rich's god laugh)
Rich has the laugh of an angel.
Then there's Mike who essentially has no laugh at all.
@@sixfourtyoneStudios Mike has a Palpatine laugh.
My audition for RLM would be to show up at their studio and demonstrate my famous honk-laugh.
Don't forget Jack's amazing laugh. Not even sure how to explain it but it's beautiful.
rich's laugh cures cancer
cures aids
Fart @5:14?
no, it cures aaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiidsss
Sadly, it doesn't cure crippling diabetes.
Justin Zhao Accurate
"Rich, where are those buns?" - Jay, while handling his meat.
My… God…! For the last couple of years I’ve been unable to stop thinking about this terrible DtV movie I saw back in 2000. All I could remember is the weird eyes alien worm-thing with no eyes and that a bunch of hapless criminals were babysitting it. I couldn’t remember the title, so I couldn’t look it up and quash my curiosity about it. And five minutes into this video that posted 6 years ago, I get a title and description! Now I can finally find and watch this dumbass movie and get it out of my head! Thank you!
Their rawhead rex episode did that for me, I remembered watching part of it on tv way back in like 3rd grade at my grandmas house on a dark stormy afternoon, it scared the hell out of me I felt like it was evil or something lol. I'd always remember every now and then a few bits of scenes I saw and would search everywhere on the internet to try to find out what movie it was. Couldnt find anything anywhere fitting my memory from the description "demon movie with red eyes". Then finally I saw them cover it and went "oh my god thats it! finally!!" Going back and watching it as an adult... it does not hold up
This is exactly why they do this public service.
Fun Fact: the director, writer and lead of The Item(Dan Clark) body of work mostly consists of children's programming, some including from Disney.
Oh hey, I'm subscribed to you😀uploading some more trailers and stuff anytime soon?
How does one go from The Item to Disney? And is it a step up on social ladder or not? 🤔
I called rich... When he realised I wasn't Shaq he hung up :(
#IWantThatJuicyShaqMeat
E. Fino did anyone actually call it? The area code is right
AJF Studios i did. Its the number of the Milwaukee ice rink
I absolutely adore how much Jay completely vilifies the director/main actor, we hardly ever see such emotion from the funniest character we've ever had. Thankfully it works.
You're right. Dogs ARE concerned about the woods.
Jay and Mike are so cute they even matched outfits.
I think 'What's wrong little lady? You look long in the butt' may become part of my everyday speech now.
I always come across this particular episode of best of the worst when I get sick from something. It has become like a warm blanket and bowl of soup for me.
Your health will continue to improve and you'll notice that you're ill more and more infrequently🙏🙌👐
@@ramseydoon8277 truly blessed
@@DepressedDiego so sayeth the LORD, "#freecivvie", amen.
@@ramseydoon8277 AAAAAMEEN
'She imagines the fart jar!' is one of my favorite quotes. Of all time.
They choose to watch BloodLock over a movie called Vampegeddon? Come on...
@@sandorenckell5259 terribly good
It's incredible, now matter how many times I rewatch RLM videos I always laugh
Now matter?
Around 5:10 when Mike edits in a fart noise while Rich is laughing
The fact this video is 7 years old and no one has made an Amish Vampire Hunter movie is unforgivable
Get crackin'! Your movie has a 90% chance of still being better than Space Cop. Wanna be in my rap video?
Jesse is furiously drinking wine in this episode.
This was actually her last episode, so it makes sense
Who is she?
@@logansaxby7224 she was Mike's girlfriend at the time
@@Pat4ever. yeah I've always wondered if something was going on behind the scenes. Her and mikes chemestry just seemed off on this one, she didnt laugh or seem as happy as she usually did.
@@keepinpemdazaliv she is still his gf from my awareness, I also think they have a child together
"Oh they dont like the sun and the amish dont use electricity!"
"That makes no sense"
My dad owned a video rental store and as a kid I always thought the The Item looked badass from the box. ...nope.
The Item actually went to Sundance Film Festival in 1999
I hope somebody broke it on the ground there. At least then the blurb would be accurate.
For a second, I thought the film was released in the 2010’s before I found this comment.
Gus F I live in Salt Lake City and my ex wife wanted to walk around Park City in case a celebrity showed up. This was 1998 or 1999 because we were divorced by 2000.
We ran into Rosanne Barr...so it was not a good time for Sundance! 😆😂🤣
The Item looks like a film designed not as a piece of entertainment, but as a challenge to be endured. Dan Clark comes off as an incredibly pretentious shitbag because of that film, and not just because of his "cool" character he wrote himself.
Dan Clark's body of work mostly consist of cheesy kids shows, surprisingly enough.
@@MinscFromBaldursGate92 Biggest gig was writing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Next Mutation.
I love Rich Evans. He's the most Rich Evansest of them all and should never change.
Huh. The Item is on youtube. I just came here after watching the first 27 minutes; let me tell you, you guys inadvertently make it look much less crap than the actual thing. Dear Lord its awful.
Get well soon! 🙏
@@ramseydoon8277 I think you replied to the wrong comment.
@@NoriMori1992 lol I may well have, but I might have been wishing them a speedy recovery from watching 'The Item'? Either way, I hope they got better soon!
@@ramseydoon8277 Saltech, age 34 or 44, gave himself up to the authorities after the incident. He is now serving a life sentence.
Has any movie ever ended with a fade to black gunshot, then they wake up and it was all a dream?
CrazyAlify I hear Rise of Skywalker does, but that’s just an unconfirmed leak.
12:30 Gotta love that Echo Bridge logo, you know you're getting some quality films when you get their DVD packs.
Completely true. Who doesn’t want extremely shitty films in one colllection?
@@josiahagin2100 Echo Bridge also bought apparently the rights to some Dimension/Miramax movies and sold their movies in 8 movie packs notoriously. They also started putting Puppet Master in some sets as well, which I don't know if that was legal considering Full Moon Entertainment still owns the rights to those.
According to IMDb, The Item was nominated for the Dramatic Grand Jury Prize at the 1999 Sundance Film Festival.
Elise Williamson holy shit, that's baffling.
The scariest part of this video was when they decided to use Charcoal over the clearly superior fuel of Propane, I tell you h'what.
Khorne Berserker this is the most under appreciated comment ever. Dang ol' 10/10 man. (Btw, I appreciate your fervor for Khorne, we shall crush the believers of the False God!)
Burn is burn
Propane is the gayest
I tell…you….h’whut
At least it wasn’t Butane, the bastard gas.
Jays face during the alien tentacle sex scene lmao you can see how much he's into it.
8 years later, and this is still one of RLM's greatest vids.
“What’s wrong, little lady? You look long in the butt” has to be one of the all time one liners from this stupid show
Jay is the man. He always laughs first at the funniest parts first.
miss Jesse :(
Do people know what happened to Jesse?
@@TheSackblabbath the people in the comments were being too weird so she decided to not be on the show anymore then her and mike broke up.
Dan Clark is honestly a awful writer and film maker in general. He’s one of the people responsible for Ninja Turtles: The Next Mutation, the show where every character is stupid, dumb cartoon sounds are playing over every scene, and almost nothing happens plot wise each episode.
Edit: I also realize now, Dan Clark has a thing for puppets, loud SFX/ADR, and tight angle nonsense.
I miss Jesse. I understand why she would want to disappear from the videos but I hope her and Mike's relationship is ok and that she's doing well
I feeld the same. She had something to add that was lost with her disappearance
what happened to her? i legitimately have no idea
@@madmanpecos It is extremely unclear, and I think that is by design. It could be anything from her getting nasty/gross comments and wanted to exit the show to her and mike having a brutal breakup. I don't think anyone has a clear answer and I think that's probably for the best.
@@boondocksaint1 what???
@@boondocksaint1 Uh.. well based on the fact that she left the show around 2014, I'm not sure I believe that, this being the internet and all.
I suppose you could still be telling the truth, but I deeply hope you aren't because that is very sad if so
I saw The Item YEARS ago on the Sundance Network, and I couldn't remember the name of it. Thank you...I guess.
Man, how did nobody make a "Blood Shlock" joke?
Now that it's October it's time to begin bingeing every Halloween BOTW episode again
"You can't go wrong with a brain in a jar." - Jay Bauman, an episode after watching Tammy and the T-Rex, a movie with a brain in a jar in it...
I think "the item" and what they made of it could have the basis for a really cool movie. You have them pick up the box, crack it open, and do an upward shot so the camera sees their reactions but not what's in the box. What's in the box doesn't matter, what matters is the character driven path down insanity that follows. Throw in whatever amount of edge and personal introspection through hallucination or whatever and you have a pretty solid psychological horror.
Bob Loblaw's Blood Lock.
21:35
Jay: "You can't go wrong with a brain in a jar."
Jessi: "No. I mean... you know." *gives knowing look*
Jay: *laughs*
Space Cop reference?
Probably referencing the BOTW episode where they review all dinosaur movies. One movie ended with a guy's brain in a glass bowl having an orgasm.... just watch it.
"Are you from bus?" didn't get the laughs it deserved.
Watch, as Brumder Mansion attendees reach record levels as flights of Red Letter Media fans go to recreate their favourite episode while on their action-packed Milwaukee holiday
"Vampires don't like the sun and the Amish don't use electricity!"
"That makes no sense."
Jessie's Jim Halpert take to the camera when Jay enthuses about The Item's sex scene is priceless.
41:29 Never had a horror film had such a laid-back piano soundtrack to a death scene.
41:32 ♪do-do♫
Jay laughing so much during The Item, his hate for it is adorable.
I'm so glad to see you guys grilling with charcoal... it's more effort but the flavor can't be beat.
Gotta love old Dick the Birthday Boy
5:07 Rich Evans' cackling, derisive laughter never gets old. The more I watch RLM, the funnier it gets
Oh Hi Rich Evans.
You even smell like garbage
+derge313 Way to go fully with the costume
I like how Jay and Mike match. Total BFF's.
Jay's "STOP!" at 17:07 might be one of my favorite lines from BotW. Already sick of this Gumby-slide bullshit.
And I was just about to leave the house in a Tshirt and hoodie too....
*Shuffles to the door*
Oh my gosh, I think I finally get it. The old guy calls his dog Wolfy "cause he's always chasing girls," like the big bad wolf chases little red riding hood...
That's probably the best explanation we'll ever get. Thanks!
you both need more Tex Avery in your life...
It might be because "wolfish" can mean "lustful"
"Wolf" literally means "a man who habitually seduces women". It's in the dictionary and everything. No esoteric explanations needed.
I just watched Joker today and I am convinced that Rich Evans has the same laughing condition.
they need to bring back this lady
Really? You have the comedic taste of a freshly dead aids patient.
She was too shy I feel like
Jay's looking mighty fine with that beard. I'd check out his "THE ITEM" if ya know what I mean
*wink*
He means his penis.
Justin Kroboth that’s adorable
Colin Grayson no rich is
Wink
these are my favorite kinds of destructions they do, when it's like they capped off a day of filming to destroy a tape in some simple way like literally grilling it or tying it to the back of their car. and it always seems to be like 4am haha.
WTF, just noticed it. 3:10 The face of the guy just seems to stretch when he screams. Like a lonhgmouth ghost.
Gotta love these Halloween specials!
Sir skeptalot! You're like butta has a Happy Halloweens!
Hinting at a Halloween special, are we, Lord Skeptic? No? Ok.
***** Bloodlock was boring.
You know that feeling you get when you go to a children's recital or play? You're happy to be there to support the children and you enjoy watching a miniature version of 'Death of a Salesman' but you're not really enjoying yourself and you're just waiting out the clock..? That's the feeling I got with Bloodlock. Kinda low-budget, even for a B movie. BUT, being so low-budget I have to give it props for being at-least watchable.
Crawlers had SO much potential which was squandered. But it had me more gripped than the other two. I think it was the least-bad.
While The Item... Was terrible. There was no charm to it.
I have to say Crawlers was the best because it reminded me most of the Hilariously bad B movies I watched when I was in film-class.
The Item is the worst because it was... bad. Un-fun.
Why would you want that if I had the ability to suck my own dick i would never leave my house!! I would be so happy!!
Armoured Skeptic Cool!
I'm surprised and a little disappointed when Jay asked Rich if he was ready to grill the burgers and Rich said, "I'm Rich Evans, of course I'm ready" that they didn't revisit the "Be Cool About Fire Safety" joke. Oh well - fun episode nevertheless!
LMFAO @24:36, Jay twitching and licking his lips in pleasure!
26:35 "It's up to our small band of boring, worthless characters to stop this from happening." That's it, that's the Best quote, it sums up so many bad movies.
"RICH! I MADE MY POINT!!"
Somehow, that aweful yellow-plastic-looking cheese is the worst thing that ended up on that grill.
42:48 - 42:53
One of my favourite moments in RLM history. So cute and hilarious and completely nonsensical
An hour-long BotW? This isn't Halloween. This is Christmas.
Oh comment from 4 years ago. If only you could see how far we've come.
I believe rich is so blinded by psychic visions of the future that he usually does not know what is happening
Aged well as he just psychically guessed a number 1-100
This is my first marathon of BotW, and from the very first episode, I've been praying that I might see The Item sacrificed on a pyre.
I was not disappointed. That stupid "film" taught me at age 14 to NEVER trust box art. I hope it continues burning for decades to come.
Let's be fair, everyone, haven't we all at some point decided to investigate our package?
23:20 Aww, Jessi is checking up on Mike.
She’s his Wife.
Ahhhh. A perfect cinematic aperitif to my Halloween banquet. Excellent video as usual!
I was surprised how some of the clips of Bloodlock looked actually really good. thanks for the entertaining video!
I lose it from Jessi's laugh every damn time! Lol
@HeavyArtillery6 What? What the fuck are you trying to say? You fucking moron.
@HeavyArtillery6 how fragile is your masculinity!! Haha
You changed the pacing, right? you now edit in the screening while still talking about the back of the movie. I like that.
ooooh pacing
adriano fogli I know right? Soo many movies don't have that.
Evolution in progess.
Thanatos388 Best of the Worst evolves into: BESTEST OF THE WORST!
The alien in 'The Item' reminds me of the Bookworm from an Australian kids show called 'The Book Place'. Terrifying!!
You know, amish vampire hunter sounds like a really neat premise.
i immediately started thinking the same thing...
At first I thought Mike was subtly wearing a Spock costume but then I realized his ears are always this pointy,