Brilliant, thank you! I was forgetting. I did it multiple times today from memory using this easier visual. For the middle finger I also keep thinking “don’t tell your feelings to f*%k off” cause I’m so used to flipping off the real estate agent who caused the majority of my recent trauma. 😆🙏❤️
I've been doing it for the past few days, but I don't actually know what to do. Richard never shows. I am simply holding each finger, but he says to tap? In the video today he shows first to tap the fingertips, but then he holds the others at the ring level. I am lost. Lol
For anyone who is still hesitant to try, it really works! Today is my 30-day mark. I’m indeed a very different person now. I added two more on top of the five: 6) I am good enough. 7) I belong to this world, just like my peer human beings.
This will work until we are forced to be around toxic person - who is critical all the time and who finds faults all the time. Due to Cooley's Looking glass self - we will soak up shared fantasy inside us - and then we will be skewed into rumination and worry.
I'm 52. I've been looking for trauma specific therapy for YEARS!!! These are things I can do on my own to suppliment my current treatment plan and counseling! Yayyy!
I've been doing this for 5 days. My alarm just went off and I broke down in tears. A few hours ago I had an emotional flashback and went into an extreme fawn/freeze mode. It was so bad that I left the store I was in a daze, went to Starbucks, and proceeded to tell a whole bunch of white lies without even thinking because I was trying to make the cashier happy. Half way on my drive home, it was like I woke up. I started to wonder, why was I so inauthentic with the Startbucks cashier? And then I realized that in the other store something happened that caused me to completely checkout and turn on autopilot. I was disappointed in myself and confused . . . when my alarm went off a little while later the tears started to flow as I remembered that I'm not my emotional flashbacks, my goal is to be authentic, I need to welcome these feelings, that in that store when I went into fawn/freeze mode I wasn't acting in my best interest and I was too concerned with other people's tasks. It amazes me that one triggering moment led into fawning behaviour in a completely other situation, and that just remembering those 5 things revealed the whole experience to me, when otherwise I probably would have just stuffed the whole thing away in the back of my mind.
Richard didn't take into consideration Toxic shame and Inner critic - both internalized onto us. They are like devils on our shoulder that will whisper lies to us and deviate us into wrong direction. They will put us into amnesia to forget worthwhile information and they will twist up the information that we do remember , skew it and make it non important - by misrepresenting it.
thanks for sharing, sometimes it happens so unconsciously and we get used to feeling many things these way, so but I hope it would be better once we could catch who I`m feeling and how it works for me. I have just started, too. Cheers.!
Words of wisdom for the world right now: "the littlest finger is for you to chop between this and that." "What is the this and that? This is yours, this is mine." "That's your business, that's your responsibility, and this is for me." So many people of the world are being conditioned to be co-dependent, to not know the boundary between themselves and others and expect others to be responsible for their well-being. While it took me a month or so, this lesson came back to me in April. I remembered that I am not responsible for other people's health, only my own. Thanks for helping me break the conditioning.
I admire your courage to put yourself out there and to develop programs to help people. When I was 16 or so I seriously thought of studying psychology for a degree, but then I thought this means I will spend my whole life listening to people’s problems and I wanted to be around sane people. How funny is that! I never made it!
I wanted to as well in order to help others avoid the pain id had, to make it *mean* something But i think id find it too triggering I struggled doing jury service
Same here. I wanted to help people and understand the dark alleys of the mind but then I thought I wouldn't be able to take on all that pain listening to people's problems. Funny where I am now.
THIS WOORKS!! Its important to know ur flashbacks first! I noticed my flashbacks are panic attackish...feeling intense and just panic. And today when I had a conversation with my grandma which caused me panick feelings I thought about this and IT WORKED! I managed to pull myself out of it!! usually i would have dweelled with it the whole daay!! Your helpin us waay more than a therapist ever did!
I like the positivity of moving forward into a healthier way of thinking. I've spent too much time going over What happened? How did I let it happen? Why did it happen? Do I need to recover? When will I recover? How will I recover? Am I recovered? Now Richard is giving us these wonderful tools, and pointing the way out of rumination. I'm doing my 5 times a day, sometimes more. An emotional flashback now triggers the 5 fingers on the hand and I start reciting Richards words, instead of going down the rabbit hole of bad memories. I'm looking forward to the next video with anticipation. I'm enjoying constructing a new mindset. Thanks! with gratitude.....
Well Woke agreed ... I spend so much time wondering what happened .... and relive most of the details daily ... trying to figure “it” out. Really not sure what - maybe it was all of the things you noted. It’s been years ... so I like your point in clarifying what this exercise is - to focus on a new direction and quit looking back... this has GOT to get me to a diff place. .
I am using the hand mnemonic with an enhancement: While repeating the affirmations to myself I conjure an image that is appropriate to the statement. So "I am embracing my emotions" for me includes visualizing a geyser at my feet, enveloping me with emotions that I accept and acknowledge. Same for the other affirmations. I did this based on hearing the unconscious is all about images, so the words can only go so far.
Thanks so much for doing this. I know that the mnemonic is supposed to be a quick process, but I always get hung up on remembering what I'm "supposed" to be thinking. My executive functioning is pretty crap, especially when it comes to helping myself. Having this detailed, visual explanation of the subtext will really help.
Amazing, but this works! Out of all the other stuff on here I've watched, the books I've read and the therapy I've done, I think this has been of the most help in getting me back to myself.
Did it 6 times today for now, and that's without counting the two times I've tried to do it in between two sleeps in the morning 😂 It works great to reframe my thoughts and stop indulging my sudden fits of anger. I will now discover the rest of your course. Cannot wait to see the results in a month. Thank you for putting this out there.
Richard-this is brilliant. I used to be skeptical, thinking you were likely ‘another online unaware’ NPD, however, your conduct following the Sam fall-out, the blatant honesty in your book, and your ongoing stable demeanor has demonstrated you are more likely- simply (indeed!) on a journey directed toward wholeness, and you are quite intelligent. This is a tangible CBT-type of tool I can use personally, and share with friends and clients. I really appreciate you. I wish you a wonderful upcoming holiday season.
Thanks Richard! I've used the fawning chameleon survival methods for ever as my main go-to survival technique which makes me come off as phony and weak and an easy target for codependency, lonliness, fake relationships, etc. I am so grateful finding myself changing really quick with this technique! I'm doing it all day and this may be the reason I don't lose yet another job. What a relief! Literally, I've been stuck despite a deep dedication and great teachers. I appreciate having a technique that allows me to feel my feelings and honor them instead of attempting to squash them yet also not have them make everyone around me impacted by them. They serve their function but don't ruin things. I've done shadow work but never quite knew how to integration. This technique is so simple. I love being reminded about who I am - what I want to be which has nothing to do with the feelings that come and go. The feelings aren't the enemy, it's more like they are there to keep me on target. I want to be gentle and kind with the people around me and at ease with who I am. I want the kindness to come from an authentic sincerity not a phony nervous fearfulness. Anyway, I'm so much cooler now. Thanks again for the personality tune up!
Very memorable. I find your whiteboard work is often difficult to remember as there are no pictures, but I’ll remember this & I can’t forget Sad Baby. I like the addition of the finger pointing towards goals & the karate chop for boundaries. Really cool stuff 🔥 Big love for Sad Baby 🍼 Thanks Richard
I cannot say how much this has meant to me. I do it probably more than 5 times a day and after just a couple of days I felt a difference but after a couple of weeks-wow. I really am me! And it is soooo powerful. THANK YOU. I’ve needed this and your videos all my life and I’m in my 60s…
This is really helpful, thanks so much Richard! The karate chop/little finger "I am my own self" one is particularly brilliant. Feels really good for cutting through the noise of the looping confused inner critic/superego.
I’ve been looking for a fast explanation for the hand mnemonic and this is perfect. Thank you so much! I really like the new direction of this channel. ☺️
Best three minute video on the internet! I listened to the longer one and it helped and this one really solidified it in my mind. I also took your emotional literacy class and life has been so much better. I love your sense of humor as well. Thank you for what your doing ❤️
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE , THIS💟 Thank you for being here, Richard. I am so willing to do the work. This is helping me fine tune😗Much thanks! And many blessings to you🤗
On day 4...feeling good! Actually had quit some strong "shift of conciousness" on my first time doing it last Sunday. It remains exciting.. Thank you, Sir!
Great info! Thank you. I am in the process of learning on how to be aware of my states and change my states. This helps me very much, with immediate effect.
I'm really enjoying the libidinous, life-loving new version of the hand mnemonic. I already found the original version helpful, and this approach brings a new light and expansiveness to it. Thank you for your continued effort to help anybody who wants it on their path to recovering from whatever harmful things life may have thrown at them (each and every one of us). Everybody needs this kind of education.
Thank you very much for even providing a usable file for us to download and use offline. Your method of practicable action makes complete sense. It is sure to have results if we practice it every day like training on sports or a musical instrument, building strength and agility. Here goes!
So grateful for your sharing tools that help to step back and observe the illusory play (no less painful) thats not real me but habituated patterns of reaction and step in to direct it more consciously. Till I wake up.
Oooh, I watched this video then an hour later had to use it. LOL It helped a bit when someone made me mad. I just told myself I am me, you are you, this is where I set my boundaries and I don't have to respond in any sort of way. Not sure I did it exactly the way you said to, but in a pinch I managed to get myself out of that vicious cycle. For a few minutes anyway.
Thank you so much for the audio, I've been having some difficulty remembering what each finger is for in this mnemonic. The old one frequently pops up in my head instead! I am definitely going to remember the middle finger. The "welcoming" finger :DDDD
@@samanthabraun217 I actually tried to do this but my pen wouldn't write on my skin XD I can imagine how this would disturb my parents if I succeeded :DDDDD
@@marinak5112 🤣😂🤣 I'm 44 and my parents walked into my place (quick knock and they're in), me sitting in front of the fire with notebook open listening to some "lesson"... a badly drawn hand... my usual unrecognizable schematics 🤣😂🤣... and me covered in .3 sharpy 😜. They didn't say a word... like it was totally normal (#itsfunnybecauseitstrue)... but they did ask my daughter later apparently "why does your mum have writing all over her hand?" Joys of drafting pens 🤓 #everygirlneedsherowntools 😁. They coulda just asked?! #idlikeboundariesfor500alex... Hey?! Wait a sec?! Long middle-finger antenna 🤔👽😶 #iswearthatwasanaccident 🤣😂🤣
@@marinak5112 Не стоит иронизировать над своим пресмыканием перед абьюзивными родителями. (кстати, ты заметила, что в комментах на каналах, посвящённых нарц.абьюзу, англоязычные жертвы токсичных родителей никогда (во всяком случае, мне такого не попадалось) не пишут подобного? зато на постсоветском пространстве никого не удивляют и не беспокоят фразы вроде "да мама меня за это убьёт, лол", такое в порядке вещей. если ты достаточно честна с собой, то можешь увидеть в своём комменте то же самое, только в более мягкой форме.) Кстати, хочу посоветовать кое-что для противостояния родителям (/выкидывания интериоризированных родителей из головы) и вообще для исцеления и апгрейда психики. Лично мне это помогло точно не меньше, чем видео и курсы Ричарда. Только сразу предупреждаю: не стоит верить всем тем сплетням, которые распространяют (нередко токсичные родители тех, кто начал противостоять их абьюзу) об авторе. (К сожалению, люди любят желтуху и "жареные факты", так что этот бред ты наверняка увидишь в верхних ссылках в выдаче гугла.) И даже если бы все это было правдой, это нисколько не умаляет ценности того, что он предлагает. Можно начать читать - и убедиться в том, что там описывается работа с эмоциями и другими восприятиями, а вовсе не ведётся пропаганда какого-то сказочно п-ца, которым якобы занимается автор. Так вот, это "Селeкция Привлекaтельных Состояний" Всеволода Рудaшевского. Она, как и другие его работы, выложена на его сайте bodhi(d0t)name. Всё доступно бесплатно (какое-то время проводились платные курсы, но он их свернул) и без регистрации)) Также у него есть канал на ютyбе "Про-Мозглость". Можно начать с видеокурсов Селекции там. Они, правда, рассчитаны на тех, кто ознакомился уже с книгой, но многим так удобнее. И базовые понятия там все равно разъясняются. Если что неясно - можно тогда уже в книгу лезть. P.S. Возможно, Рудашевский - нарц. Но что с того, если так?.. (Не нужно просто воспринимать догматически его слова... Но это относится вообще ко всем. И тебе такой совет вряд ли нужен.) Можно сравнить его с Сэмом Вакниным. Тоже есть немало инсайтов относительно психики как "скрытых", так и грандиозных нарцев; нарциссизма в людях без NPD, хотя он и не пишет именно о нарциссах и нарциссизме (не использует эти термины). Мне кажется, что кое-что из того, что он предлагает, может поспособствовать развитию некоторых нарц.черт, но такие вещи легко отфильтровать. И с чьей-то точки зрения это будет лишь возвращением так называемого здорового нарциссизма. Просто мне лично что-то в этом претит... Но то же самое и с Ричардом - не могу все принять; не стремлюсь к полной психической автономии. Мы социальные существа, и это не в нашей природе (а ты как считаешь?). P.P.S. Может показаться подозрительным, что я делаю все эти оговорки. Просто доводилось сталкиваться не раз с тем, что когда рекомендую Селекцию, люди сразу лезут в гугл и верят фантастике от всяких "дядь вань" и "лен малых" (кстати, у самого Рудашевского есть статьи, где он объясняет, как работает клевета, почему ей верят и откуда пошла клевета конкретно в отношении него) и боятся после этого даже заглянуть в книгу или видео даже краем глаза. Глупо, конечно, но так вышло, что я не с самыми психически здоровыми людьми общаюсь (тебе и другим зрителям этого канала это должно быть понятно. я вот только каким-то образом не только КластерБ-личностей притягиваю, но и людей с другими психическими расстройствами. или притягиваюсь к ним. частичное объяснение этому вижу в книге Фромма "Бегство от Свободы"). Поэтому вошло в привычку делать подобные предупреждения.
Doing the hand mnemonic daily and I'm feeling a lot better!!! Want to journal more so need to go to the store and get more notebook paper (forgot)!!! THANK YOU!!! :D :)
I want to take the time to express my appreciation to you for putting this together and following your own inspiration. I've been doing this for just over 30 days and I'm actually quite impressed with how my thinking has shifted as a result. While there's still a ways to go in my own codependency recovery, I'm very grateful for this tool, especially as I start to put my own best interest first, and reconnect with the person that I am. Thank you for the simple formula, and for presenting the recovery process in a way that is easy to digest, and not too daunting/overwhelming. Twas the push I needed.
I can't count on both hands how many times I do this in a day, I love the hand exercise & dang if it doesn't work. I'm almost non-explosive now, I can say 'it hurt'. Starting to live at 55, better than never. Thanks for your work, you've helped many of us who were hiding our wounded shells that protected our soft gooey insides pretending we were ok for fear anyone else would know just how damaged we were! Pfft, we weren't damaged at all.
A bit of a random place to leave this message Richard but since you're already in the Czech republic try your hands on some Czech Cucumber Salad this summer in case you haven't already. It's like a drink salad, super cheap super healthy and you can make it at home with just a cumcumber and a water tab. Google has the recipe. Partly replace the vinagar with lemon juice. Keeps well for up to 5 days in the fridge, Great taste. Just wanted to share this favorite ancient czech recipe >
Love your work Richard ide say first couple days tie this in with your daily habits brushing teeth or anything you do every day & set alarms watch or listen to the audio first couple days or as long as your lacking the clarity of exactly what each finger is intended for 🌸🦋💗
Richard, it is a great technique that I can use to remember information. At this point I believe I was raise by a pack of wolves 🐺.. with only loose black ties..I will work in the stable self- concept.
I also thought the longest finger is antenna that is helping me search the information out there in the world (like a radio signal or satellite) to find what I need to know or what actions and choices I have helping me gather more information to be well-informed as I move forward with my choices of self-interested actions (as opposed to staying in stultifying habits isolation and ignorance)
Richard, a couple of years ago I got a video as part of one of your courses to stop and emotional flashback. It's not the one in your 30 challenge or Fortress, but it absolutely changed everything for me and also helped me help my husband. Is it still available sonewhere? It was so great and I know so many people it could help.
I am me? Is there not a better way to state this? 1 and 3 are almost the same….. but it’s the emotional finger… the aerial? So 5 is the division line . A bullet point first then an explanation would help to understand his way of speaking
I fucking love you. I started this today. Already a shift. I fucking love the words you choose and how your brain works. Your so incense and funny. Thank you my friend. Carry on!
Amazing, It has been just only couple of days but the change is incredible! Thank you Richard. @Richard Is this technique for the rest of the life or it would not bee needed in couple of months anymore?
I'm enjoying this course Richard,, second time round though it has hurdles or even Aintree sized fences...I mean to say there's so much to take in & even more to practise & if one is a workman like myself then it's not easy getting to all the practises.It's nearly midnight now & I've got a cup of milky coffee that you dont recommend, but at least trying to understand these principles.Will I ever get to the Pierhead so to speak...I believe I will, Brian C.
Thank you for the video. I'm getting these reps in 💪👉 I'm gaining a lot of real traction; I feel the strength and boundaries of my Fortress building slowly but steadily. It's ON! No going back for this chick right here 🙋♀️ (That's Me... lol). Have a great day Sir😀
I have problems with taking this and making it my own so I wrote it down and personalized it and color coded each for finger. I intend to buy color rings for each it will also help me remember during the day to do the exercise. Hey Richard, ever thought of putting out merch? Maybe a nice ring set? 😂
Here is the audio app.box.com/v/handmnemonicfast cheers!
Brilliant, thank you! I was forgetting. I did it multiple times today from memory using this easier visual. For the middle finger I also keep thinking “don’t tell your feelings to f*%k off” cause I’m so used to flipping off the real estate agent who caused the majority of my recent trauma. 😆🙏❤️
I've been doing it for the past few days, but I don't actually know what to do. Richard never shows. I am simply holding each finger, but he says to tap? In the video today he shows first to tap the fingertips, but then he holds the others at the ring level. I am lost. Lol
Thank you!!!
Perfect! Do you ever lecture in the US? Specifically New England?
Thank you for the healing 🙂💛💚🧡
For anyone who is still hesitant to try, it really works! Today is my 30-day mark. I’m indeed a very different person now. I added two more on top of the five:
6) I am good enough.
7) I belong to this world, just like my peer human beings.
This will work until we are forced to be around toxic person - who is critical all the time and who finds faults all the time. Due to Cooley's Looking glass self - we will soak up shared fantasy inside us - and then we will be skewed into rumination and worry.
TY so much Richard. It has started me thinking what thoughts are mine. I've needed that all my life. (I'm 69.)
I'm 52. I've been looking for trauma specific therapy for YEARS!!! These are things I can do on my own to suppliment my current treatment plan and counseling! Yayyy!
Oh, and I get to hear the accent! Outstanding!!!
@@christinaworkaala885 I'm 51! Better late than never. Plus my son saw me taking notes and doing it and that was a beautiful conversation.
Hi, I'm 64 this year and have been looking for this type of stuff all my life.. Best wishes
I love 69
I've been doing this for 5 days. My alarm just went off and I broke down in tears. A few hours ago I had an emotional flashback and went into an extreme fawn/freeze mode. It was so bad that I left the store I was in a daze, went to Starbucks, and proceeded to tell a whole bunch of white lies without even thinking because I was trying to make the cashier happy.
Half way on my drive home, it was like I woke up. I started to wonder, why was I so inauthentic with the Startbucks cashier? And then I realized that in the other store something happened that caused me to completely checkout and turn on autopilot. I was disappointed in myself and confused . . . when my alarm went off a little while later the tears started to flow as I remembered that I'm not my emotional flashbacks, my goal is to be authentic, I need to welcome these feelings, that in that store when I went into fawn/freeze mode I wasn't acting in my best interest and I was too concerned with other people's tasks.
It amazes me that one triggering moment led into fawning behaviour in a completely other situation, and that just remembering those 5 things revealed the whole experience to me, when otherwise I probably would have just stuffed the whole thing away in the back of my mind.
That's amazing. I do that kind of stuff often. It's so automatic.
Richard didn't take into consideration Toxic shame and Inner critic - both internalized onto us. They are like devils on our shoulder that will whisper lies to us and deviate us into wrong direction. They will put us into amnesia to forget worthwhile information and they will twist up the information that we do remember , skew it and make it non important - by misrepresenting it.
thanks for sharing, sometimes it happens so unconsciously and we get used to feeling many things these way, so but I hope it would be better once we could catch who I`m feeling and how it works for me. I have just started, too. Cheers.!
Truly profound content! However, let's not ignore the real masterpiece - the hand drawn on the board!
Words of wisdom for the world right now: "the littlest finger is for you to chop between this and that." "What is the this and that? This is yours, this is mine." "That's your business, that's your responsibility, and this is for me." So many people of the world are being conditioned to be co-dependent, to not know the boundary between themselves and others and expect others to be responsible for their well-being. While it took me a month or so, this lesson came back to me in April. I remembered that I am not responsible for other people's health, only my own. Thanks for helping me break the conditioning.
I admire your courage to put yourself out there and to develop programs to help people. When I was 16 or so I seriously thought of studying psychology for a degree, but then I thought this means I will spend my whole life listening to people’s problems and I wanted to be around sane people. How funny is that! I never made it!
Your comment made me smile 😀. I did study psychology and got my BA before I made the same discovery you did lol. Still, it was interesting.
I wanted to as well in order to help others avoid the pain id had, to make it *mean* something
But i think id find it too triggering
I struggled doing jury service
Same here. I wanted to help people and understand the dark alleys of the mind but then I thought I wouldn't be able to take on all that pain listening to people's problems. Funny where I am now.
Me too. Love studying the subject but I would be too upset by other people's pain.
THIS WOORKS!! Its important to know ur flashbacks first! I noticed my flashbacks are panic attackish...feeling intense and just panic. And today when I had a conversation with my grandma which caused me panick feelings I thought about this and IT WORKED! I managed to pull myself out of it!! usually i would have dweelled with it the whole daay!! Your helpin us waay more than a therapist ever did!
I like the positivity of moving forward into a healthier way of thinking.
I've spent too much time going over What happened? How did I let it happen? Why did it happen? Do I need to recover? When will I recover? How will I recover? Am I recovered?
Now Richard is giving us these wonderful tools, and pointing the way out of rumination.
I'm doing my 5 times a day, sometimes more.
An emotional flashback now triggers the 5 fingers on the hand and I start reciting Richards words, instead of going down the rabbit hole of bad memories.
I'm looking forward to the next video with anticipation.
I'm enjoying constructing a new mindset.
Thanks! with gratitude.....
Well Woke agreed ... I spend so much time wondering what happened .... and relive most of the details daily ... trying to figure “it” out. Really not sure what - maybe it was all of the things you noted. It’s been years ... so I like your point in clarifying what this exercise is - to focus on a new direction and quit looking back... this has GOT to get me to a diff place. .
But, aren't you supposed to welcome the feelings and evaluate what it means?
I am so happy, blessed to know you Richard 👍🏻 thank you for all you're wisdom giving us ! God Bless you 💜
I am using the hand mnemonic with an enhancement: While repeating the affirmations to myself I conjure an image that is appropriate to the statement. So "I am embracing my emotions" for me includes visualizing a geyser at my feet, enveloping me with emotions that I accept and acknowledge. Same for the other affirmations. I did this based on hearing the unconscious is all about images, so the words can only go so far.
Thanks so much for doing this. I know that the mnemonic is supposed to be a quick process, but I always get hung up on remembering what I'm "supposed" to be thinking. My executive functioning is pretty crap, especially when it comes to helping myself. Having this detailed, visual explanation of the subtext will really help.
Amazing, but this works! Out of all the other stuff on here I've watched, the books I've read and the therapy I've done, I think this has been of the most help in getting me back to myself.
Did it 6 times today for now, and that's without counting the two times I've tried to do it in between two sleeps in the morning 😂 It works great to reframe my thoughts and stop indulging my sudden fits of anger. I will now discover the rest of your course. Cannot wait to see the results in a month. Thank you for putting this out there.
you are soooo creative, loving and brilliant 💐💐💐👍👍👍
Richard-this is brilliant. I used to be skeptical, thinking you were likely ‘another online unaware’ NPD, however, your conduct following the Sam fall-out, the blatant honesty in your book, and your ongoing stable demeanor has demonstrated you are more likely- simply (indeed!) on a journey directed toward wholeness, and you are quite intelligent. This is a tangible CBT-type of tool I can use personally, and share with friends and clients. I really appreciate you. I wish you a wonderful upcoming holiday season.
Your work is a gift to the world. Thank you.
We should start a coalition, protesting at therapists doors demanding them to watch this series hahahah
Thanks Richard! I've used the fawning chameleon survival methods for ever as my main go-to survival technique which makes me come off as phony and weak and an easy target for codependency, lonliness, fake relationships, etc. I am so grateful finding myself changing really quick with this technique! I'm doing it all day and this may be the reason I don't lose yet another job. What a relief! Literally, I've been stuck despite a deep dedication and great teachers. I appreciate having a technique that allows me to feel my feelings and honor them instead of attempting to squash them yet also not have them make everyone around me impacted by them. They serve their function but don't ruin things. I've done shadow work but never quite knew how to integration. This technique is so simple. I love being reminded about who I am - what I want to be which has nothing to do with the feelings that come and go. The feelings aren't the enemy, it's more like they are there to keep me on target. I want to be gentle and kind with the people around me and at ease with who I am. I want the kindness to come from an authentic sincerity not a phony nervous fearfulness. Anyway, I'm so much cooler now. Thanks again for the personality tune up!
Very memorable. I find your whiteboard work is often difficult to remember as there are no pictures, but I’ll remember this & I can’t forget Sad Baby. I like the addition of the finger pointing towards goals & the karate chop for boundaries. Really cool stuff 🔥 Big love for Sad Baby 🍼 Thanks Richard
Would you please explain what Sad Baby is ? Thanks :-)
I cannot say how much this has meant to me. I do it probably more than 5 times a day and after just a couple of days I felt a difference but after a couple of weeks-wow. I really am me! And it is soooo powerful. THANK YOU. I’ve needed this and your videos all my life and I’m in my 60s…
This is really helpful, thanks so much Richard! The karate chop/little finger "I am my own self" one is particularly brilliant. Feels really good for cutting through the noise of the looping confused inner critic/superego.
Richard, you are saving lifes with your advice. Thank you very much!
Yes, saving lives, absolutely!!!!
Love this! I needed a way to remember it as my memory isn't great. I foresee a hand tattoo perhaps!! 😁🖐️🙏 Thank you, Richard.
I’ve been looking for a fast explanation for the hand mnemonic and this is perfect. Thank you so much! I really like the new direction of this channel. ☺️
I'm so thankful that I found your channel! You are healing the world through your videos! 🙏🙏🙏
I really needed this visual.
Thank you, Richard!!!
Richard, you are a legend and an exemplary human being for doing this work 🙏
Best three minute video on the internet!
I listened to the longer one and it helped and this one really solidified it in my mind. I also took your emotional literacy class and life has been so much better.
I love your sense of humor as well.
Thank you for what your doing ❤️
Thank you so much! I appreciate your hard work and passion for the collective recovery of cptsr.
A 5x a day brain rewiring. I found your mneumonic very helpful. Thank you!
I don't think I've ever clicked quick enough!!😊
Lol, me too!
Ha ha me three!
Thank you very much, Mr Grannon, I think you are a bodhisattva 🙏
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE , THIS💟
Thank you for being here, Richard. I am so willing to do the work. This is helping me fine tune😗Much thanks! And many blessings to you🤗
On day 4...feeling good!
Actually had quit some strong "shift of conciousness" on my first time doing it last Sunday. It remains exciting..
Thank you, Sir!
Brilliant clear and powerful framework and its creating a lot of mental clarity for me. Thanks!
Thank you Richard. This is wonderful. I always look forward to hearing your voice as one of my guiding strengths. So grateful. 🙏
Great info! Thank you. I am in the process of learning on how to be aware of my states and change my states. This helps me very much, with immediate effect.
I'm really enjoying the libidinous, life-loving new version of the hand mnemonic. I already found the original version helpful, and this approach brings a new light and expansiveness to it. Thank you for your continued effort to help anybody who wants it on their path to recovering from whatever harmful things life may have thrown at them (each and every one of us). Everybody needs this kind of education.
Blessings for you Richard. Thank you for the amazing information.
This is so great! So amazing you took that commenter's suggestion and made this! I'll be watching this every day
Thank you Richard for your time and dedication.
Thank you very much for even providing a usable file for us to download and use offline. Your method of practicable action makes complete sense. It is sure to have results if we practice it every day like training on sports or a musical instrument, building strength and agility. Here goes!
So grateful for your sharing tools that help to step back and observe the illusory play (no less painful) thats not real me but habituated patterns of reaction and step in to direct it more consciously. Till I wake up.
This works SO WELL dealing with a toxic neighbor!!! Thank you!!! Not affected now and that was the goal!!! :D :)
Oooh, I watched this video then an hour later had to use it. LOL It helped a bit when someone made me mad. I just told myself I am me, you are you, this is where I set my boundaries and I don't have to respond in any sort of way. Not sure I did it exactly the way you said to, but in a pinch I managed to get myself out of that vicious cycle. For a few minutes anyway.
Such a wonderful teacher - clear & succinct
So helpful! That adds so much clarity.
Thank you so much. 💖💖💖
Thank you so much for the audio, I've been having some difficulty remembering what each finger is for in this mnemonic. The old one frequently pops up in my head instead! I am definitely going to remember the middle finger. The "welcoming" finger :DDDD
That's why I've been writing it on my hand 😂😜🖐✍. #deploytheeverythings 🙏🏻🥋❤🌟
@@samanthabraun217 I actually tried to do this but my pen wouldn't write on my skin XD I can imagine how this would disturb my parents if I succeeded :DDDDD
@@marinak5112 🤣😂🤣 I'm 44 and my parents walked into my place (quick knock and they're in), me sitting in front of the fire with notebook open listening to some "lesson"... a badly drawn hand... my usual unrecognizable schematics 🤣😂🤣... and me covered in .3 sharpy 😜. They didn't say a word... like it was totally normal (#itsfunnybecauseitstrue)... but they did ask my daughter later apparently "why does your mum have writing all over her hand?" Joys of drafting pens 🤓 #everygirlneedsherowntools 😁. They coulda just asked?! #idlikeboundariesfor500alex... Hey?! Wait a sec?! Long middle-finger antenna 🤔👽😶 #iswearthatwasanaccident 🤣😂🤣
@@marinak5112 Не стоит иронизировать над своим пресмыканием перед абьюзивными родителями.
(кстати, ты заметила, что в комментах на каналах, посвящённых нарц.абьюзу, англоязычные жертвы токсичных родителей никогда (во всяком случае, мне такого не попадалось) не пишут подобного? зато на постсоветском пространстве никого не удивляют и не беспокоят фразы вроде "да мама меня за это убьёт, лол", такое в порядке вещей. если ты достаточно честна с собой, то можешь увидеть в своём комменте то же самое, только в более мягкой форме.)
Кстати, хочу посоветовать кое-что для противостояния родителям (/выкидывания интериоризированных родителей из головы) и вообще для исцеления и апгрейда психики. Лично мне это помогло точно не меньше, чем видео и курсы Ричарда.
Только сразу предупреждаю: не стоит верить всем тем сплетням, которые распространяют (нередко токсичные родители тех, кто начал противостоять их абьюзу) об авторе.
(К сожалению, люди любят желтуху и "жареные факты", так что этот бред ты наверняка увидишь в верхних ссылках в выдаче гугла.)
И даже если бы все это было правдой, это нисколько не умаляет ценности того, что он предлагает. Можно начать читать - и убедиться в том, что там описывается работа с эмоциями и другими восприятиями, а вовсе не ведётся пропаганда какого-то сказочно п-ца, которым якобы занимается автор.
Так вот, это "Селeкция Привлекaтельных Состояний" Всеволода Рудaшевского.
Она, как и другие его работы, выложена на его сайте bodhi(d0t)name. Всё доступно бесплатно (какое-то время проводились платные курсы, но он их свернул) и без регистрации))
Также у него есть канал на ютyбе "Про-Мозглость". Можно начать с видеокурсов Селекции там. Они, правда, рассчитаны на тех, кто ознакомился уже с книгой, но многим так удобнее. И базовые понятия там все равно разъясняются. Если что неясно - можно тогда уже в книгу лезть.
P.S. Возможно, Рудашевский - нарц. Но что с того, если так?.. (Не нужно просто воспринимать догматически его слова... Но это относится вообще ко всем. И тебе такой совет вряд ли нужен.)
Можно сравнить его с Сэмом Вакниным. Тоже есть немало инсайтов относительно психики как "скрытых", так и грандиозных нарцев; нарциссизма в людях без NPD, хотя он и не пишет именно о нарциссах и нарциссизме (не использует эти термины).
Мне кажется, что кое-что из того, что он предлагает, может поспособствовать развитию некоторых нарц.черт, но такие вещи легко отфильтровать. И с чьей-то точки зрения это будет лишь возвращением так называемого здорового нарциссизма. Просто мне лично что-то в этом претит... Но то же самое и с Ричардом - не могу все принять; не стремлюсь к полной психической автономии. Мы социальные существа, и это не в нашей природе (а ты как считаешь?).
P.P.S. Может показаться подозрительным, что я делаю все эти оговорки. Просто доводилось сталкиваться не раз с тем, что когда рекомендую Селекцию, люди сразу лезут в гугл и верят фантастике от всяких "дядь вань" и "лен малых" (кстати, у самого Рудашевского есть статьи, где он объясняет, как работает клевета, почему ей верят и откуда пошла клевета конкретно в отношении него) и боятся после этого даже заглянуть в книгу или видео даже краем глаза. Глупо, конечно, но так вышло, что я не с самыми психически здоровыми людьми общаюсь (тебе и другим зрителям этого канала это должно быть понятно. я вот только каким-то образом не только КластерБ-личностей притягиваю, но и людей с другими психическими расстройствами. или притягиваюсь к ним. частичное объяснение этому вижу в книге Фромма "Бегство от Свободы"). Поэтому вошло в привычку делать подобные предупреждения.
I wrote it down in a notebook I carry with me so I can read from it and don't struggle with remembering.
Thank you Richard, for this reminder; this helpful, useful tool.🌷
Doing the hand mnemonic daily and I'm feeling a lot better!!! Want to journal more so need to go to the store and get more notebook paper (forgot)!!! THANK YOU!!! :D :)
Perfect. Exactly what I needed to simplify and remember throughout the day...
This is Genius!
Thank You Richard
Much Love
I want to take the time to express my appreciation to you for putting this together and following your own inspiration. I've been doing this for just over 30 days and I'm actually quite impressed with how my thinking has shifted as a result. While there's still a ways to go in my own codependency recovery, I'm very grateful for this tool, especially as I start to put my own best interest first, and reconnect with the person that I am. Thank you for the simple formula, and for presenting the recovery process in a way that is easy to digest, and not too daunting/overwhelming. Twas the push I needed.
I thank you so much Richard.
Very clever mnemonic! Love the symbolism
That's great 👍 Thanks for practical recording.
Can't wait for the up coming videos.
I can't count on both hands how many times I do this in a day, I love the hand exercise & dang if it doesn't work. I'm almost non-explosive now, I can say 'it hurt'. Starting to live at 55, better than never. Thanks for your work, you've helped many of us who were hiding our wounded shells that protected our soft gooey insides pretending we were ok for fear anyone else would know just how damaged we were! Pfft, we weren't damaged at all.
A bit of a random place to leave this message Richard but since you're already in the Czech republic try your hands on some Czech Cucumber Salad this summer in case you haven't already. It's like a drink salad, super cheap super healthy and you can make it at home with just a cumcumber and a water tab. Google has the recipe. Partly replace the vinagar with lemon juice. Keeps well for up to 5 days in the fridge, Great taste. Just wanted to share this favorite ancient czech recipe >
I've only been doing this for 5 dys so far and I feel a massive difference already
THIS is awesome !! thank you for this awesome video !!
This is actually quite beautiful. I've been analyzing/ attempting to incorporate mudras..... This is quite delightful...🤔
This changed my life, thank you❤️
sending you so much love!!!! 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 You're really helping me
Thank you Richard.
lol thanks for the mini!!
it's been 2 days and prob 6-7 times and still didn't quite have it memorized 🤓🤪🤣
but already loving it !!
Thanks Richard!! Great way to Remember it!!
Love your work Richard ide say first couple days tie this in with your daily habits brushing teeth or anything you do every day & set alarms watch or listen to the audio first couple days or as long as your lacking the clarity of exactly what each finger is intended for 🌸🦋💗
Brilliant! Thank you so much. 🙏
Thank you Richard
Richard, it is a great technique that I can use to remember information. At this point I believe I was raise by a pack of wolves 🐺.. with only loose black ties..I will work in the stable self- concept.
I also thought the longest finger is antenna that is helping me search the information out there in the world (like a radio signal or satellite) to find what I need to know or what actions and choices I have helping me gather more information to be well-informed as I move forward with my choices of self-interested actions (as opposed to staying in stultifying habits isolation and ignorance)
Thank you Richard 🙏
Awesome. I am so encouraged
Thank you for that one Richard. I'm trying to implement this daily it helps.
U are for sure helping me, and u wake up feelings in me that i didnt Think i hade!🙏❤❤
💜💞1 2 3 4 5...peace it does, thank you
Omg I LOVE IT! ❤️👏 thank you! 😘
Thank You Richard!:)
Richard, a couple of years ago I got a video as part of one of your courses to stop and emotional flashback. It's not the one in your 30 challenge or Fortress, but it absolutely changed everything for me and also helped me help my husband. Is it still available sonewhere? It was so great and I know so many people it could help.
Sweet! TY Richard.
I am me? Is there not a better way to state this? 1 and 3 are almost the same….. but it’s the emotional finger… the aerial? So 5 is the division line . A bullet point first then an explanation would help to understand his way of speaking
Its like the current flow direction in physics, thanks
The longest finger is also your welcoming beconing "come here" finger
Thank you - this is so useful!
I fucking love you. I started this today. Already a shift. I fucking love the words you choose and how your brain works. Your so incense and funny. Thank you my friend. Carry on!
lmao wow, i was literally gonna comment that i needed this
Amazing, It has been just only couple of days but the change is incredible! Thank you Richard.
@Richard Is this technique for the rest of the life or it would not bee needed in couple of months anymore?
I'm enjoying this course Richard,, second time round though it has hurdles or even Aintree sized fences...I mean to say there's so much to take in & even more to practise & if one is a workman like myself then it's not easy getting to all the practises.It's nearly midnight now & I've got a cup of milky coffee that you dont recommend, but at least trying to understand these principles.Will I ever get to the Pierhead so to speak...I believe I will, Brian C.
Thank you for the video. I'm getting these reps in 💪👉 I'm gaining a lot of real traction; I feel the strength and boundaries of my Fortress building slowly but steadily. It's ON! No going back for this chick right here 🙋♀️ (That's Me... lol). Have a great day Sir😀
This is amazing. So helpful.
Thanks! 👍🏼
Brilliant
I have problems with taking this and making it my own so I wrote it down and personalized it and color coded each for finger. I intend to buy color rings for each it will also help me remember during the day to do the exercise.
Hey Richard, ever thought of putting out merch? Maybe a nice ring set? 😂
Oh this is genius! Cheers
Thanks 🙏
Thanks so much.
Thanks for this. Was struggling to remember the last one 🤓
When somebody visits you be hospitable and give them the welcoming finger