Your Anger Controls Your Life
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- Опубликовано: 17 июн 2022
- Life isn't the same when you're not in control over your emotions. Dr. K's Guide to Meditation can help you learn about how this happens, why it happens, and how to over come it through lectures, worksheets, and, most importantly, meditations. Learn how to control your emotions and check out the guide here: bit.ly/3tHbGMP
Check out the new guide to ADHD and Doing Stuff as well here! bit.ly/39AIArB
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▼ Timestamps ▼
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0:07 - Introduction (Letting go of triumph)
4:15 - Meditation begins
20:39 - Om Namah Shivaya Mantra explanation
23:10 - "I don't want to let go"
25:50 - How many kinds of meditations should we do?
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Re-evaluating and, for lack of a better term, re-assigning anger as a need for victory/vengeance is a very insightful perspective. The anger is a symptom of the sense of injustice, not a cause of it.
yeah anger sometimes comes when we feel the need to defend ourselves against a percieved (or real) threat
“Anger is a symptom of the sense of injustice.”
Felt this.
This is literally the only reason why I’m ever angry.
Anger like any other emotional stimulus is prone to addiction. When you’re seeking out nonsense to be angry about is where the problem comes in. Qanon is a perfect example of inventing things to be angry about. Next thing you know you’re carrying a rifle through a pizza parlor looking for a basement full of kids that doesn’t exist.
Recontextualising anger as the “desire to triumph” was very insightful. Even wanting to destroy or break something or someone is an expression of dominance or triumph.
I cried like a baby.... When you said about ''The person that made you angrier and you wanted justice'' it only came my ownself in my mind and i couldn't stop crying, i feel lighter
Gratitude, thank you, thank you
I’ve been viewing anger as a problem solving emotion, and it makes sense that triumph would be a result of answering a threat while still feeling vulnerable. But as someone who’s been learning how to fight for some years now, it’s always best to be calm to answer a physical threat, let alone the social ones. I’m really glad you posted this, and that it exists, because all I’ve been relying on for regulation is suppression. I’m gonna dive deeper into yoga and Buddhism in the future
True. I have an argumentative family, and it has taught me to stand up for myself out in the world - but its usually a stressful ordeal all around and im just feeding my ego. Even if i feel i came out on top i just feel more alert to similar threats in the future, rather than feel more confident. I do it a lot less now, and try and let things go, but certain things still trigger me, but i just suppress it.
Dr K this meditation is very powerful. I woke up today stewing on my ex who abused me. I appreciate you posting this today and my higher power bringing it to me. ❤
I’m in a similar situation. Less frustrated with the ex and more so with the family who has assumed I was the abuser. This is what helps folks like ourselves. Love you buddy❤️
My ex cheated on me on my birthday, left me for someone she knew for under 48 hours and killed her problem dog so she could move in with him after saying she needed to mentally prepare herself for moving in with me. I've been in agony all year about it. Doing this meditation was the closest I've come to peace since it happened almost a year ago today, actually.
“Fear is the path to the dark side … fear leads to anger … anger leads to hate … hate leads to suffering.”
@@Dimitris_Balf Joe, you are smart.
Your rage will make you powerful.
And the Jedi feared the dark
Fear is a spiritual experience
Here dr K says the desire for justice leads to self righteous anger, so your reference doesn’t fit with me
I had to cut off my older sister who kept taking advantage of my kindness and ruining her own life against everyone's attempts to try to offer help and advice. The last straw was so bad when she owed me money I lent her so she could improve her life and lift out of poverty... She spent that money on Las Vegas. I roasted the F out of her for the last time and after she finally paid back her debt to me, I decided to put up my boundaries to protect myself from her toxic influence because she had genuinely exhausted all of my empathy and sympathy, coming from a man who is known as one of the kindest people that many friends know. I honestly don't see any other way that would have ended without anger because I had ALREADY taken the peaceful route ala Dr K's route MULTIPLE TIMES and she still managed to ruin everything and take advantage of me. Good riddance.
Maybe things would have been different had this video come like 2 weeks sooner, but in the end it was best for me to at least shield myself from her influence and detach my emotional investment in her.
I have been keeping anger inside of me, even holding perverted fantasies about me beating up people for wronging me or someone else vulnerable. It has been holding me back from being at peace within my heart. I have let my ego take over for too long, because there's so much peace within me and in the universe, which I hold myself away from.
lekker bezig man geertje 💪
One of the few things that gets me away from my anger is Dr. K's impression of Mrs. Doubtfire.
PS: This was my first meditation ever. Gave me goosebumps after it. Chillin.
U stole that name mr un original
@@Personal-jr9rn that comment was extremely....... personal
How is it that you speak directly to my problem, day to day. You are the perfect intro to therapy for me. 🙏
remarkable this meditation. i had a lot of anger and resentment in me and wanted revenge to triumph about the people i was angry about. I did this meditation once now and it already startet to work. i feel much more peace and joy in me. its wonderful. will do it more times. also now i understand where all my anger and feeling of revenge came from. i understand why i struggled so hard with it. i wanted revenge so badly but i wasn`t able to triumph which made me fu*** angry.
i always thought the only solution would me to triumpg again and than i am reliefed. this meditation really kinda rescued me. thanks a lot dr. k
Didn’t think it’d work that fast but yeah, made me tear up with relief on the first release/breathing out of the meditation.
My brother needs this. I think he's trying to use how our parents treated him growing up to get back at them by blowing up in their face every chance he gets. Now everyone feels like we are stepping on eggshells around him and can never say no to him. I'll send this to him later.
He needs to either separate himself from his parents or reunite with them. Also, you are allowed to push back when he throws his tantrums, make it known they're not welcome.
How he Doing now
I had to go thru this one twice. First time I picked some deep, lifelong family shit. I couldn't figure out what triumph looked like. So I couldn't let go of it. Second time I picked arguing with people in facebook comments. All of the sensations and emotions were crystal clear for that one. I don't know if I "let go" but I made some really interesting observations to what my mind and consciousness felt like when getting ready to attack vs pulling out and walking away.
Shadow work. Integral Life Practice
So many ways
Letting go of trying. Allowing death, so life may be experienced in empty grace
I have a problem. I can feel the anger, but I can't I can't imagine the triumph or justice. I know it's normal, and perhaps I felt them as a child, but for current me, fantasies of triumph just feel unrealistic and irrelevant. I don't feel like having ego. I don't care about justice being served, I just want the problems caused by people or broken systems to go away.
The good thing is that I don't feel controlled by anger like most people, and the problem is that I just feel hurt by things all the time and feeling of powerless, eg. there's no fantasies of triumph to balance it or something. The only thing that I can do is to maneuver the world in ways to avoid being fucked over, which just feels like a huge burden, it makes me feel like I'm responsible for everything, have to do everything myself and there's nobody/nothing to help me.
You want them to go away because you believe they are bad and not moral, you literally defined what the justice and triumph is. Its what you believe should not happen
If you believe the whole world is messed up, then your triumph would be to fox everything. But if youre not capable of doing it all you can do is avoid messing it up even more
One of my older twin sisters still has her infant blanky at 39. It's sentimental and retired, but she held onto that thing like a lifering until she was 8 or 9 years old. At 6 years old, she forgot it at a hotel and my dad HAD to drive all the way back to get it. I... think it's special and sentimental when a person projects that much importance onto something which they ultimately do not need. It's a thing that makes life worth living, the moments a simple object, any object, can bring to a family.
On another note, I am very sentimental about everything I own. I recently sold most of my Transformers collection to make bills. Selling it all undervalue wasn't what bothered me, but selling part of my childhood to continue existing today did bother me. I have memories and sentiments behind those toys that others don't, but hopefully one person is now able to buy one of my pawned Transformers that is sentimental/valuable yo them.
100 per cent agree. This goes double for me when it comes to movies and fiction. They're not real people but it's still enough to make a grown man cry ☺
@@Bendilin wow that is actually really sad... it reminds me of that story of the last romans having to throw marble statues to fend off invaders. it's like destroying part of your past to continue existing now. must be really sad, i feel for you
I liked this. I tend to get angry a lot and I find that I'm always chasing that "got them" moment lol
I'm grateful for Dr.K giving us access to such powerful and helpful content i've been working on my self and its working really well but i felt with gaining confidence i started being more angry and vocal about the reactions instead of keeping and burying it within so i thought about working on anger aspect today and i didn't expect to cry but i did and it was legit i did'nt expect the person to whom i thought i'll have so much resntment is my father whom i love but i'm glad this is making things so much better.
Wow this meditation feels really good, like just letting go of all the thoughts the ego produces feels so refreshing and relaxing, defintely gonna repeat it from now on
i actually do something like this but while walking, i get lost in thoughts replying to a fictional version of what i perceive the other person to be. this can be to comments, videos, people irl that i strongly disagree with or dislike. and i'll debate them in my head, sometimes even getting to a conclusions which were not my own (originally) by debating a freaking fictional version of someone else. the nice thing is that i can go back and rephrase myself, rethink and be better, in comparison to the internet where if you say something once you better be ready to die for that opinion.
Ive been struggling with this all week im so glad this just come out
I NEEDED THIS SO MUCH THANK YOU
Meditation starts at 4:20
this channel truly is life changing
One thing people don't tell you about what I like to call the 3 stages of anger. Anger, rage and wrath is that it feels good. It doesn't just feel good to let it out but it feels good to project all of those emotions that cause it on to everyone around. For a second others get to feel a little bit of that fear, insecurity and feeling to go berserk that is constantly bubbling and swirling in you.
It's really healing and calming. Getting a new view into the culture is pretty neat too. Thank you.
Thank you Dr.K. This helped me tremendously.
i love feeling like everything actively works against me to make me want to hurt myself its great
more videos about anger and include happiness please, doc k. this is really hard for me especially i have grown very impatient as a person.
Gracias, justo lo que estaba necesitando.
That was a good experience :)
The first time im doing something like a meditation.
And it was really helpful!
Humans are very status based, we are either putting each other down or raising each other up. This is done in very subtle and not so subtle ways. Things like someone saying "but" in response to something you say, implies you're wrong, lowers your status. Especially with ADHD we can be very sensitive to this, because it's so primal and we react strongly to stimuli on that level. Understanding the flash of anger is about redressing this perceived loss of status, it can be very helpful, as it helps to explain to others what is going on and find a way together to let this energy flow in a positive and loving way. Or just chuck them out the fucking window.
This is fascinating to me. I have never been an angry person. I find anger very unpleasant and tiring so regularly don't stay angry for very long (aka I let go of it easily). I am also not very competitive. I don't find a lot of joy in winning only relief that it is over (although I can be a sore loser). I don't really care about winning. But this video has taught me these two tendencies/personality traits (whatever you want to call these behaviours of mine) are actually very related. Interesting.
This is the closest I've been to instant gratification from a meditative practice. Good shit Dr K this one's really nice
Thank you so much for your highly valuable contribution to mental health.
Thanks this helped. I’ve been really angry at my roommates for screwing me over with rent. I kinda wanted to spit in their food, so when doctor k said picture your triumph being immortalized, I realized that spitting in food is the opposite of triumphant and I laughed. I don’t think I was actually going to spit, but the thought made me feel like I had some power when I felt like I had none in this situation. I don’t think it would actually make me feel better since it wouldn’t change what was actually making me upset. I’m generally not an angry person but this time I am angry and I don’t know how to deal with it.
I've been trying to let go of my ego for almost ten years now and still not ready. There's been numerous times where I would commit to trying but it would always make me more anxious. I think accepting where you're at is the key. I think being told you have to let it go or else you'll suffer bad consequences to your ego will make you feel worse. This is just my experience. I don't like it but I think it's important to accept it first.
I describe the sound of the ocean/the sound of my breathing as The Universe in Motion. It is a seemingly universal sound that occuries as the universe itself moves within itself. It has a rustling rhythm.
Thank you
I want to work for you one day. I'm inspired to go back to finish my psychology degree. Sending love from the UK pals.
Adsense is getting too good:
Dr K. : “Think of someone that pisses you off”
Ad: “GOOGLE PIXEL, THE PHONE BY GOOGLE SO YOU KNOW ITS GOOD”
As a religion scholar, I totally agree with the way you presented the nuance of the term “religion” as it applies here, and I really appreciate that you talk about it the way you do. It’s totally a religious practice insofar as the academy defines “religion,” and at the same time “religion” is totally an inaccurate term borrowed from mainly western monotheisms, and the fact that the academy uses it as the default is connected to the fact that the academy is largely built on western systems of knowledge production and has trouble recognising well how other systems of knowledge do classification and explain themselves.
Which is all just a long way of saying yes, +1 to what you said!
exactly what I need
Wonderful 🙏 thank you
The meta of having an ad shortly after Dr K says "think of something that frustrates you" during the meditation was either genius or an incredible coincidence.
@27:30 The average person only has so much time to learn and focus on so much, that in the West at least, we have fallen into a mindset where we don't need to worry about the accuracy or professionalism of certain practices/professional fields, we assume they're the best and know what they're doing. This is rarely actually true, so most people fall into pits of bad or dated advice, or they assume a professional is a one-size-fits-all solution.
And when a professional "helps" others but not an individual, due to the individual's needs not being personally met by this magical guru of help, the individual dismisses the entire field and those who are helped by it.
someone told me to 1v1 him in league a few years ago. (jungler helped me so he thought I suck)
I agreed and let him pick both mine and his champs. I beat his Ekko with Soraka
Soraka op, but still. don't be cocky guys. 1:00
I am quite acquainted with meditations and to be honest - all my resentful internet arguing heat dies out in 1-2 days, so I just meditated and those triumphs and resentment didn't have any value or meaning for me already. I've just chilled in no-mind state, thanks!
4:15 for returning bookmarks
I love you dr. healthygamer
. Desire to win lands you in a lot of troubles
.
Hmm, this was an insightful practice; I felt a great repulsion to thinking about things/people that make me angry in this meditation, and realised that despite 'revenge fantasies' I often have, I would truly not be happy even if I acted on those fantasies, as a matter of fact, I'd feel much worse if I did. As you said, there's an ugliness in vengeance, and vengeance will not resolve oneself of inner turmoil.
Thank you
God, I love this channel.
Became too angry to finish.... 😩
Far too many things to be angry about to focus on just *one*
i still dont understand what "letting go of an emotion" means. I try and I get frustrated bc nothing happens. Everyone tells me just let it go but my brain screams at me until i think about it again.
i'm not sure if this wil be seen or cared about but i kinda don't like video titles like this.
when i read it, it tells me that anger is controlling my life. wich may or not be the case.
when i read the titles my mind instantly says: "no anger is not controlling my life" and usually i just continue continue to a different video but i see it so frequently now it's kinda starting to bother me.
also a trait of mine is that i tend to believe what others say more or quicker then what my own mind tells me, so i things like this tend to make me doubt myself a little bit.
is this just me?
I always considered myself a person that had very little anger in them, when in reality I just wasn't expressing it, I was biting onto it and keeping it down and slowly letting it consume me and being extremely passive-aggressive to the people I hated for what they did to me.
Never bothered with meditation before, I always liked to believe the maelstrom inside me was contained. When I decided to try this meditation the first thing that happened when I went through all those scenarios, was bursting out in tears. I want revenge, I want to show her what a mistake she made, I want her to come to me just so I can be like that scene in LotR and say "No." I felt like I was going back to my old pattern of sadness, anger, being contempt, and trying to do the same fucking shit again, the shit that failed x times; so I suppose it's time to try something a bit different.
This was amazing! I was just learning about shakaras from Avatar the last Airbender yesterday night.
28:40 In all of my time in school, I have never heard anyone besides students ever say this.
Well this shit originates from india...
The mantra felt like balsam for a freshly reopened wound
I GET MORE PISSED OFF MEDATATING
i like the third eye meditation.
Nothing like getting an ad RIGHT in the middle of the meditation
Oohhh this'll be perfect for my new dark souls 3 run
True
What should I do in order for me to be able to identify and make sense of my thoughts and emotions like dr K does? It feels like he’s taking a cloud of raw unprocessed feelings and squeezing it into a bottle of clear water. Do you have any advice on this?
23:52 I'm ready to let go of my blanky!
What are we striving for when meditating? I find that the more I get into it the more I don’t understand what I’m actually trying to accomplish… In simple terms, how do I know when a specific meditation is “working” for me?
I wanted to know if I’m supposed to do the third eye focusing whilst we are om chanting if so the practice is hard but effective.
finally! a video that start from the start! your vids lately have been real confusing!😒
I don't get into situations that make me angry and I'm usually pretty chill, but when one of our cats gets outside somehow and it wasn't my fault, I'm able to keep my frustration or anger under control, but it's difficult because every time they get out and go into plants or bushes, they could be bringing in diseases or pathogens or run into an animal and kill it if it's small enough. The good news is they aren't hard for me to catch and 95% of the time they come to me which I accomplish by having an open posture and being patient. I calm down once I catch 'em and bring 'em in.
I’m so hard on myself to make sure the meditation is perfect that I can’t even fous on the meditation
Would it be possible to add some sort of sound/music to the end card of your videos? I often listen to them in another tab or in the car. Whenever the video ends I find myself waiting for you to start talking again. It's only after 20 seconds or so do I realize you aren't just reading a comment or being quiet.
❤️
I just got very angry because I was won 1 on 1 on mid, I lost my mood and I didn't understand why I was so angry, I went to RUclips and your video came out an hour ago and now I realize
Regarding Shiva: Whats the connection between consciousness and destruction?
This is a sub section of your video of passive aggressive coworkers. Yes it's a good one.
This one was super painful for me. When it was time to let go of my resentment, I imagined I was chained up in a church, and some holy force was trying to rip a black substance from me that kinda looked like the symbiote from spider man, and I was screaming in pain. I absolutely want to let it go but I just can't, it's too strong. It's worked for me in some ways but I can tell it is holding me back. Guess my body just isn't ready to let it go yet, thats ok. I just need to keep trying, maybe do some other meditation, maybe build up some non ego based skills. Then maybe I'll be ready. Either way I've got a lot of work to do and a lot of decisions to make.
that black thing you can't let go of is vice, sin, and the devil. keep praying and growing in virtue, not meditating per se.. but really happy for you to see that! not everyone has that kind of experience.
Resentment is valid . Your feelings are valid.
Eyyy Dr. K made a video about me
My favorite mantra is Om Mani Padme Hum
How does letting go of the triumph differ from letting go of a healthy notion that I am capable of something or celebrating a win (not over somebody else but against an obstacle)?
Considering I've groud the enamel of my morals, this was usefull
This was part of the video on passive aggression right?
Ya
Pain...
Every time you say something like notice the letting go of emotions or something. I feel so behind because I don’t feel that when I was meditating so then I get frustrated with my self
Hi Dr K
4:40 meditation starts
my life was so ridiculously confusing up until today I did not know who to trust except for my parents and I kept taking metaphorical things too literally help god whyyyyyyyyyyyy i am going to Turn Into a werewolf
4:41 Meditation begin
Midrolls during a meditation is rough
Reupload?
I don't think I am ready to understand this 😔 how can I be motivated to succeed if I don't care about triumph? What do I do when the "tary blackness" feels good. It feels like me imposing my will on a world that just pushes me around 😢
And what if the anger is because of the situation that continues? Like a war
It's true, once you put aside Triumph your life improves. You realize "yes he was a funny dog puppet but I haven't seen him in ages".
It does? Huh
that meditation somewhat isnt working for me, probably becouse i dont need it... when it was asked to imagine situation when i was wronged i remembered when girl stalled from date with me 3 times, after which i gave up. And then you asked to imagine triumf and domination over that person and it shredded to me to lough so hard.
because eah, triumh would be a successful date and in my imagination it has no place for my domination.
its to quiet for me, i cant hear what dr k is saying
angry that it happens rrr
meditation is the most frustrating shit in the world when you constantly have shortness of breath all i can focus on is trying to take a full breath fuck
Yo