Bill Maher's New Rules #1

Поделиться
HTML-код
  • Опубликовано: 30 янв 2025

Комментарии • 272

  • @colinskelding8959
    @colinskelding8959 5 лет назад +65

    "We want deal"
    I laughed then cried then laughed again for twenty minutes.😄😂😜

  • @Careless-carefree
    @Careless-carefree 6 лет назад +131

    Life is better with Bill Maher!💖

  • @eaubert1
    @eaubert1 6 лет назад +13

    That look on Bill Clinton's face says: "How the fuck do they know about the cigar?" Simply priceless!!!

  • @flyguy1527
    @flyguy1527 4 года назад +30

    Bill has some of the most talented writers!

  • @lauralishes1
    @lauralishes1 4 года назад +23

    The flash of horror and recognition in Clinton's face was hilarious.

    • @daveman5860
      @daveman5860 3 года назад

      That was one of the best;. deer caught in the headlights moments,,, ever ))😳)) 🎸⚡

    • @Lorenzo23able
      @Lorenzo23able Год назад

      @@daveman5860 iii

    • @Smedley1947
      @Smedley1947 Год назад

      Here's a fun fact. Current Supreme Court Justice Kavanaugh was on Starr's team during the investigation of Clinton and was the person who continually lobbied for the release of in detail description of what Clinton and Lewinsky did together. One of two things or possibly both would explain that. Either it was purely a prurient interest on his part or he knew that maximum damage would be done by revealing the dirtiest details. Frankly I think it's for his work for Starr that he was rewarded eventually with the Supreme Court seat much as the writer of the Powell memo was given a seat on the Supreme Court for his work on that document.

  • @franniealbaugh1298
    @franniealbaugh1298 6 лет назад +40

    Great compilation. 😂 I’d forgotten some of them. Funny Flashbacks!!! Still laughing... 😆

  • @hew195050
    @hew195050 3 года назад +3

    Thank you for this. His one liners are premo!

  • @tylerkeller8869
    @tylerkeller8869 3 года назад +2

    That cheese-ball grin Bill cuts after every punchline😂🤣

  • @531katie
    @531katie 6 лет назад +54

    Thanks for the medley. I needed to laugh today. Even if some are dated, it’s like Groundhog Day anyway with this orange sphincter as president Thank you.

    • @kenhasibar2624
      @kenhasibar2624 5 лет назад +1

      Well said! 🍻
      Hope you're feeling happier. 🍻🍻

  • @Bubba1960.
    @Bubba1960. 2 года назад +2

    Omg, the look on that idiots face when he said, "we want deal!" I died.

  • @lurchlogan
    @lurchlogan 5 лет назад +1

    "Hey Fuck You... You Know What"?? 😬😬
    That part always makes me LoL!! 🤣🤣

  • @FelloniousMonk22
    @FelloniousMonk22 5 лет назад +2

    'Its like they don't want you to know the truth!' Cut to CIA Director Hayden LOL

  • @tylerkeller8869
    @tylerkeller8869 3 года назад +1

    "...sold you a phone at the Verizon store." 🤣😂

  • @misamatsumori
    @misamatsumori 5 лет назад +2

    Thanks for laughter Bill!

  • @SuperCatman
    @SuperCatman 6 лет назад +108

    *WE WANT DEAL!*

    • @losaikogogreen3636
      @losaikogogreen3636 6 лет назад +2

      How about repealing taxes to benefit the middle class, Guaranteeing pre-existing conditions, affordable medications, allowing more judges for refugees at the border, arresting all violent Trump or other violent political supporters, and releasing all Trump as well as other politicians Tax info by legislation, Tax & Business Records! I also want automatic Impeachments for those caught lying or cheating with still jail terms based on how bad the results!!!
      The majority of Americans wang these laws.
      No Gerrymandering or voter suppression!!! Voter fraud has only been caught by republican canadites and Trump refuses to discuss it!!! It is wrong.

    • @Pravdacz-tp8zu
      @Pravdacz-tp8zu 5 лет назад +1

      @@losaikogogreen3636 No thanks.

    • @2013venjix
      @2013venjix 5 лет назад

      Priceless

  • @bluecollarhispanic
    @bluecollarhispanic 6 лет назад +5

    I used to watch Bill when he was on ABC back in the early 2000's, I do admire some of the things he says. But these clips are all over the place.

  • @2013venjix
    @2013venjix 5 лет назад +5

    5:00!
    Trump: We want deal. 😅🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂

  • @space_ghost1994
    @space_ghost1994 4 года назад

    Very funny compilation 👏 👏 well done !

  • @reneangulotrujillo1
    @reneangulotrujillo1 4 года назад

    brilliant man!

  • @gogyoo
    @gogyoo 3 года назад +3

    He did it again, made another Python member laugh

  • @jed-henrywitkowski6470
    @jed-henrywitkowski6470 4 года назад +5

    Nice. This is how comedy is supposed to be. Everyone is game, regardless of the Comedian's personal worldview.

  • @thudius55
    @thudius55 5 лет назад +1

    Bill your funny & Crazy my man bill keep up da, good work you keep me with a smile.....

  • @taniasinesi2934
    @taniasinesi2934 5 лет назад +5

    vote for him if he ran for public office. I work extra just to keep HBO .I would rather skip a meal than miss Bill Time with Bill Maher is my favorite show of all time.He is so smart and so funny I look forward to it each week. Would definitely

  • @giglamarr2236
    @giglamarr2236 5 лет назад

    Your boy Bill is wild !

  • @proud2bpagan
    @proud2bpagan 5 лет назад +9

    "Am I an avid outdoorsman,or am i just *really* attracted to firemen?" Can't it be both?

  • @petergreen2552
    @petergreen2552 5 лет назад +13

    Clinton's cigar look. 🤪

  • @finalgirl9474
    @finalgirl9474 6 лет назад +32

    As a psychology student, the friend prostitute is pretty accurate. BTW love the bukkake reference.

    • @PreacherJenkins
      @PreacherJenkins 5 лет назад +3

      Nothing Freudian there.

    • @savfab5689
      @savfab5689 5 лет назад

      Bet you do Final girl...I bet you u do!

    • @adriantrejo8397
      @adriantrejo8397 2 года назад

      Did you do anything with that? It's a serious question. Frasier is my favorite show & I enjoy helping people so I want to know how feasible it is for a regular joe like me to become a clinical psychologist?

  • @abhishekkhandkar
    @abhishekkhandkar 3 года назад

    That oreo joke was out of the world man

  • @wesleyhite8203
    @wesleyhite8203 4 года назад +6

    On every one of these shows, there is all ways some one who thinks they have to laugh louder than anyone else.

  • @kevinkeating1394
    @kevinkeating1394 4 года назад

    This was super funny 1 of da best

  • @Absurdginger
    @Absurdginger 6 лет назад +1

    Oh fuck that Donald Rumsfeld 911 Iraq war new rule had me laughing so hard I woke up my wife, she didn’t think it was funny....

  • @RedheadDevito
    @RedheadDevito 6 лет назад +161

    I haven't watched his show in a while, I hope he's still offending everyone!

    • @trumpjonguno6994
      @trumpjonguno6994 6 лет назад +16

      Justin Mills he is, and it's a beautiful thing.

    • @richardramirez3805
      @richardramirez3805 5 лет назад +2

      Justin, nah he's been compromised by the far-left, he's got TDS*

    • @kenhasibar2624
      @kenhasibar2624 5 лет назад +4

      Only whiny, crybaby, don't-hurt-my-feelings pussies get offended. By anything.
      I'm a bartender. People call me jackass all the time. I don't know them well enough that their opinion matters, so I just shrug it off, and finish with: "That'll be four bucks." 🍻

    • @Wally-pu2hh
      @Wally-pu2hh 5 лет назад

      He offends Truth

    • @tongbaimasongilmore3603
      @tongbaimasongilmore3603 5 лет назад +3

      Better than listening to trump .

  • @eargasm1072
    @eargasm1072 5 лет назад +5

    The only two things I miss not having cable TV... Bill Maher and TCM

    • @thudius55
      @thudius55 5 лет назад

      Just go on to RUclips and ya! Haven't missed a thing he's still funny as ever...💯🙄🤔🤘🏽...

  • @exessex3522
    @exessex3522 4 года назад +4

    9:20 The guys who injure or strand themselves on cliffs, mountains etc. should be given the lowest priority by rescue services and then charged full price for their rescue and treatment. Knowingly and intentionally taking risks should not be subsidized.

  • @bigal-san2k197
    @bigal-san2k197 4 года назад

    5 seconds into the video and I'm already dying

  • @BeeBumper
    @BeeBumper 6 лет назад +19

    Hold on those icedancers had to train to do those moves, I just did them.

    • @Mr._Nobadi_M._Portent
      @Mr._Nobadi_M._Portent 6 лет назад +7

      Angel Gd
      The moves or the ice dancers? 🤔

    • @milascave2
      @milascave2 6 лет назад +1

      angel: yea, but try it on skates.

    • @BeeBumper
      @BeeBumper 6 лет назад +4

      I'm Canadian, I have done it on skates.

    • @milascave2
      @milascave2 6 лет назад +1

      angel: well then, you should try out for the winter Olympics. You may have a chance.

    • @BeeBumper
      @BeeBumper 6 лет назад +1

      Random places is fine, but I've never been much of an exhibitionist. Attention whore maybe.

  • @mrjeff3373
    @mrjeff3373 5 лет назад

    Bill is the king.

  • @enrique6195
    @enrique6195 5 лет назад +2

    We want deal. Lmaoooo

  • @yegfreethinker
    @yegfreethinker 6 лет назад +11

    5:00 XD _we want deal_ !

  • @computerstar9883
    @computerstar9883 2 года назад

    OMG WE want DEAL 😂😂😂

  • @ShuyanStoryTeller
    @ShuyanStoryTeller 6 лет назад +140

    I am Chinese. I want deal.

    • @seanxu2517
      @seanxu2517 5 лет назад +1

      Me too. 😂

    • @AlexSGabor
      @AlexSGabor 4 года назад

      Joe Home #kanyewest I am #GZeus #WilliamMount #snapalert #saveyourpennies for #snapchange #trillionairesfortrump not #billionairesforbush #georgesoros is not #antifa #anarchy #antichrist or #antichristian #youarehired #youarehigher by #infinitology #copperkills #silvereagle #gold #silver #banksters

  • @williambunting803
    @williambunting803 5 лет назад +1

    That Haj crowd looks at least twice as large as Trumps inauguration get together!

  • @margueritejohnson6407
    @margueritejohnson6407 5 лет назад +8

    I think Oreos must be an American thing. I tried one once, well, half of one. Never again.

    • @kapediten1968
      @kapediten1968 5 лет назад +2

      Marguerite Johnson they are disgusting.

    • @margueritejohnson6407
      @margueritejohnson6407 5 лет назад +1

      Kape Diten I’m really glad someone agrees. The damn things are everywhere in different flavours!

    • @kapediten1968
      @kapediten1968 5 лет назад +1

      Marguerite Johnson yes they have a plethora of those nasty tastes.

    • @daddius
      @daddius 5 лет назад +2

      I’m American and I agree... they are garbage discs.

    • @lurchlogan
      @lurchlogan 5 лет назад +2

      Oreo's are one of those things that you love when you're a kid(anything with loads of sugar really)but absolutely despise as an adult!!

  • @TampaJohn
    @TampaJohn 6 лет назад +70

    Allah-palooza? 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣

    • @pjhorn512
      @pjhorn512 6 лет назад +3

      No

    • @trumpjonguno6994
      @trumpjonguno6994 6 лет назад

      Piotr Jankowski buzzkill 😝

    • @talksolot
      @talksolot 5 лет назад

      he's a jw bigot so taunting moslems is his job and his heritage.

  • @codibick
    @codibick 6 лет назад

    I lost it at "Bear ass"

  • @nashsanadiki3104
    @nashsanadiki3104 5 лет назад

    I love the Haji Podge. I was left at Home with my cousin when my parents when to Haji.

  • @jonnnyren6245
    @jonnnyren6245 3 года назад

    A restaurant called "probably chicken." 🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @rachellepeterson6225
    @rachellepeterson6225 5 лет назад +2

    OMG! hilarious!

  • @CraftyZanTub
    @CraftyZanTub 6 лет назад +6

    That Oreo is a statement mess, not a cookie. I do like the statement.

    • @AlastorsShadowDemon
      @AlastorsShadowDemon 6 лет назад

      I think they should have kept the cookie in its original size, but each row had different color cream.

    • @CraftyZanTub
      @CraftyZanTub 6 лет назад

      @@AlastorsShadowDemon
      They made the cookie the way they did so that it would show the colors vividly on camera. Having one cream layer multiple colors may not have showed well on camera.

  • @MScorpioM
    @MScorpioM 4 года назад

    Allahpalooza - that cracked me up 🤣🤣🤣

  • @Alrukitaf
    @Alrukitaf 5 лет назад

    Gratuitous.

  • @CarolineChiasson
    @CarolineChiasson 6 лет назад +13

    3:15 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @johnelam23
    @johnelam23 6 лет назад +5

    I’m so going to miss the Karl lagerfeld joke

  • @paulavery5889
    @paulavery5889 2 года назад +1

    Bill Maher makes me laugh no matter how shitty I feel.

  • @Nicolas-fo8qd
    @Nicolas-fo8qd 2 года назад +1

    Wow the new rules back then were much better

  • @PeggyJame
    @PeggyJame 5 лет назад +1

    Comedy is essential

  • @a.landon9503
    @a.landon9503 2 года назад

    I love Bill Maher...and I am a guy who knows brilliance. (I produced three Chris Rush albums; one exec. produced by George Carlin). But now the hammer...Please do not give George Z. any fame or notoriety. He should be exiled to a penal colony. Like Papillion.

  • @MonsterbirdNation
    @MonsterbirdNation 6 лет назад +4

    Hey, I have a piece of metal from the Pentagon. A relative got it while working disaster relief. It and several other pieces made their way into the equipment and bags they carried while relief efforts were carried out. Who doesn't have a piece at this point.

  • @tattben1207
    @tattben1207 6 лет назад +14

    Not a big fan but I did like the bank of hope one.

  • @paulstillman2878
    @paulstillman2878 5 лет назад

    That was hilarious.

  • @Tuppence196
    @Tuppence196 6 лет назад

    Ouch ! Very good

  • @lizabethgussman331
    @lizabethgussman331 5 лет назад +1

    Lubbock is a nice city. In Lubbock, you can see forever.

  • @ricktd6891
    @ricktd6891 5 лет назад

    Ooo, parking in the driveway and driving on the Parkway joke. That's only 3 or 4 decades old.

  • @johnpapa8681
    @johnpapa8681 5 лет назад +2

    I didn't know I liked Bill Maher.

  • @liamshaughnessy6246
    @liamshaughnessy6246 3 года назад

    Ha ha ha! Lol 😂 x2!

  • @caseybledsoe770
    @caseybledsoe770 6 лет назад +7

    Did Rumsfeld keep the *only* piece?

  • @pauljmorton
    @pauljmorton 5 лет назад +4

    Is "boo khaki" a pun on "bukkake"? o.O

  • @GabrielGomez.
    @GabrielGomez. 5 лет назад

    04:57 hahahahahahahhaa 🤣🤣🤣

  • @donaldedward4951
    @donaldedward4951 6 лет назад +3

    Trump is such rich material. This would go right over the head of many Americans and that makes if even funnier.
    The Art of the Deal. "I wanna wall with my name on it. Hadrian has one and he wasn`t even American".

  • @danp1471
    @danp1471 5 лет назад +1

    Did they seriously make an oreo like that? Im not gay but I would have bought that.

    • @warmonk5915
      @warmonk5915 5 лет назад

      Dan P ya but I don’t think they sold it I think it was for show

  • @mchlive6930
    @mchlive6930 5 лет назад +3

    I wish I could afford HBO. Cable has gotten insanely expensive. Internet too. It's like they think we should pay 200 a month for it.

  • @chrissiebawn9357
    @chrissiebawn9357 9 месяцев назад

    LOVE LOVE LOVE 😀🤣❤🇨🇦🇺🇸🌍🕊🙏🖖

  • @kaziabir1
    @kaziabir1 6 лет назад +6

    How we have to joke about the looks of a murderer while his victim is dead and forgotten. RIP Trevor Martin.

    • @kaziabir1
      @kaziabir1 6 лет назад +1

      If there was any true justice, he would be. Unfortunately, the republicans had to turn this political.

    • @pamelacass9642
      @pamelacass9642 6 лет назад +3

      Treyvon Martin.

  • @jakerbames9701
    @jakerbames9701 3 года назад

    I swear a turd falling out of the sky landing on my hand is more funny than Billie boy

  • @glennhager900
    @glennhager900 5 лет назад

    Happy Birthday, Bill Maher! January 20 also birthday of Kellyanne Conway and Nikki Haley

  • @jacobgeist6580
    @jacobgeist6580 6 лет назад +1

    That really is what Lubbock looks like

  • @Smedley1947
    @Smedley1947 Год назад

    @Smedley1947
    1 second ago
    Here's a fun fact. Current Supreme Court Justice Kavanaugh was on Starr's team during the investigation of Clinton and was the person who continually lobbied for the release of in detail description of what Clinton and Lewinsky did together. One of two things or possibly both would explain that. Either it was purely a prurient interest on his part or he knew that maximum damage would be done by revealing the dirtiest details. Frankly I think it's for his work for Starr that he was rewarded eventually with the Supreme Court seat much as the writer of the Powell memo was given a seat on the Supreme Court for his work on that document.

  • @gbae636
    @gbae636 5 лет назад +3

    Just for the record zimmerman is white. Nothing about him is hispanic . White as the driven snow

  • @craigcorson3036
    @craigcorson3036 5 лет назад

    4:42 They got the Olympics logo wrong, too.

  • @jamesw9811
    @jamesw9811 6 лет назад +4

    New rules, old rules, they all rule!
    #meettherealdonaldtrump James wilson
    #BLUESTRAVELERwhoops James wilson

  • @c.d.dailey8013
    @c.d.dailey8013 5 лет назад

    LMBO
    If the Korean sound like Gandam Style, then the Chinese sound like this song from Disney's Mulan.
    "Let's get down to business, to defeat the Huns! ..."

  • @jacobzaranyika9334
    @jacobzaranyika9334 3 года назад

    Stop instigating violence, I keep being told. That is what they told Mandela

  • @adamhonestyanddecency5054
    @adamhonestyanddecency5054 4 года назад

    He’s 100% right about Marilyn Monroe.

  • @supermojo9672
    @supermojo9672 6 лет назад +4

    Georges ZIMMERMAN has real personality issue.

  • @supermojo9672
    @supermojo9672 6 лет назад +2

    Rest in peace karl

  • @Mevenda1
    @Mevenda1 5 лет назад +1

    We want deal!

  • @jeepdan7776
    @jeepdan7776 5 лет назад

    Thanks for the laughs Billy, if I’m not laughing with you at least I’m laughing at you

  • @fmffn
    @fmffn 11 месяцев назад

    We need 2003 to 2007 new rules

  • @perryrobles6813
    @perryrobles6813 6 лет назад +5

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah Hahahahahahahahhahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahhahhahahahahhahhahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahh Hahahahahahahahhahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahhahhahahahahhahhahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahh Hahahahahahahahhahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahhahhahahahahhahhahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahh Hahahahahahahahhahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahhahhahahahahhahhahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahh

    • @Zeldarw104
      @Zeldarw104 5 лет назад

      Ikr?! 😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😅😄😃😀

  • @jacobgeist6580
    @jacobgeist6580 6 лет назад

    Actually a more accurate picture of Lubbock is an empty plain that spans for hundreds of miles in all directions

  • @SIKE01
    @SIKE01 6 лет назад +1

    GEORGE ZIMMERMAN's body double

  • @soroushshiri5592
    @soroushshiri5592 5 лет назад +2

    Im persian.WE ALSO WANT DEAL.

  • @petergreen2552
    @petergreen2552 5 лет назад +3

    Is my money safe here? I hope

  • @delcapslock100
    @delcapslock100 6 лет назад +31

    seems like he had much better writers in the past

    • @milascave2
      @milascave2 6 лет назад

      error: well, this video just picked out his best lines and ignores all the other stuff. That is why it seems funnyer.

    • @GiratinaofFury
      @GiratinaofFury 6 лет назад +1

      Actually, R Mc, he wasn't mad that the President said it, he was mad that the standard is that if Obama had said that, he would have been thrown out of office and torn to pieces as a traitor, but the current President has people lining up to say that he didn't just say it, despite evidence to the contrary.

    • @anjelinavillalobos3973
      @anjelinavillalobos3973 6 лет назад

      he was upset because when he said the same thing the was thrown off the air, and the standard was set higher for trump than if obama had said it

    • @nammyohorengekyoooooo
      @nammyohorengekyoooooo 6 лет назад

      Yes seems a little sexist, obviously not many women writers on staff I'm guessing. But still a big maher fan.

    • @trumpjonguno6994
      @trumpjonguno6994 6 лет назад

      He IS one of the writers... You're just trying to sneak in a snarky insult.

  • @freeman7296
    @freeman7296 5 лет назад

    He can be funny when he sticks to comedy.

  • @caseybledsoe770
    @caseybledsoe770 6 лет назад +15

    Allah-Palooza lol

  • @wesleyhite8203
    @wesleyhite8203 4 года назад

    Bill Maher sounds and looks a lot like Dr. Evil.

  • @paulhue86
    @paulhue86 2 года назад

    At least we’re clear that nobody would mistake Jorge Z for white?

  • @fireball0762
    @fireball0762 6 лет назад +2

    are bookstores still a thing?

    • @dozog
      @dozog 4 года назад

      Only in novels.

  • @TheGreatTimSheridan
    @TheGreatTimSheridan 5 лет назад

    but what is a paloosa?