New Rule: Checking In On Jared | Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO)

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  • Опубликовано: 26 окт 2024

Комментарии • 848

  • @daryoushnosraty
    @daryoushnosraty 5 лет назад +25

    Bill Maher.....you are one of the most respectable and truthful people I have ever heard of in today's world.....God bless you

  • @jeffg1524
    @jeffg1524 7 лет назад +201

    Bill nails it yet again, with more wit and humor than all the clowns at Fox combined.

    • @rexneihoff805
      @rexneihoff805 5 лет назад +4

      Amen

    • @Viking_Luchador
      @Viking_Luchador 3 года назад

      you mean Jesse Waters in Chinatown wasn't the second coming of Richard Pryor?

    • @josettedaejung6309
      @josettedaejung6309 2 года назад +1

      They're not even legally allowed to refer to themselves as "reporters". 😃 😑

  • @ThePhilhw
    @ThePhilhw 7 лет назад +28

    Devastingly accurate.
    I cry for America and I'm a Brit.
    BH is very funny but he is highlighting some very dark possibilities.

  • @kuwait85
    @kuwait85 7 лет назад +32

    This was an amazing episode

  • @5pctLowBattery
    @5pctLowBattery 7 лет назад +136

    Profiles in tremendousness. Guess all the qualified people don’t want anything to do with this administration.

    • @ixlnxs
      @ixlnxs 6 лет назад +4

      Many a true word has been said in jest... I reckon all the talented folks are sitting this one out.

    • @ricardolozano6265
      @ricardolozano6265 6 лет назад

      5%LowBattery huh a bartender

    • @elvampiro89
      @elvampiro89 6 лет назад +1

      Jared looks like a girl.

    • @tracer740
      @tracer740 6 лет назад

      But Eric, that's really not an attribute to the vetting process ... or maybe?

    • @rosemaryoneill7244
      @rosemaryoneill7244 6 лет назад

      Ricardo Lozano thank God

  • @carolgancos2314
    @carolgancos2314 5 лет назад +3

    Oh Bill! You are the best.

  • @ramflorida
    @ramflorida 7 лет назад +3

    Love this. Thank you, Bill Maher.

  • @tjwilson1591
    @tjwilson1591 4 года назад +2

    I love you, Bill Maher!

  • @Phatkillz
    @Phatkillz 7 лет назад +514

    I think the real problem with the current administration is that Trump doesn't want to appoint anyone smarter than himself.
    Disclaimer: This post has been edited to appease the grammar police.

    • @MadFrenzy582
      @MadFrenzy582 7 лет назад +10

      Phatkillz you win

    • @patthenescuck6799
      @patthenescuck6799 7 лет назад +3

      Hi, I'm George Takei. I was highly critical of Trump's "grab em by the pussy" comment. I drug em then grab em by the dick.

    • @cocobenji6123
      @cocobenji6123 7 лет назад +4

      Phatkillz and that would be everyone in America.

    • @Wolfboss7
      @Wolfboss7 7 лет назад +7

      Phatkillz Given Trump's ego that's actually entirely possible.

    • @bradpolmateer4801
      @bradpolmateer4801 7 лет назад

      Phatkillz lol

  • @MissRedHeadedGeek
    @MissRedHeadedGeek 7 лет назад +13

    I lived in Tulsa for 8 years...didn't know there was an air and space museum in Tulsa...

  • @konnichiwa7925
    @konnichiwa7925 7 лет назад +2

    Simply perfect!

  • @energeez
    @energeez 7 лет назад +48

    That peace in the Middle East joke was on point

    • @charleshernandez665
      @charleshernandez665 3 года назад

      Lĺplĺppppllplĺĺ

    • @Howard3S
      @Howard3S 3 года назад

      Historic middle east agreements signed, but took more than a year.

    • @markhanna1372
      @markhanna1372 2 года назад

      I agree it was a funny joke, but Kushner ended up making more progress in the middle east than any politician has in well over 20 years

    • @theangryholmesian4556
      @theangryholmesian4556 2 года назад

      @@Howard3S Which caused violence and disproportionately hurt the indigenous Palestinian population in their own homeland. But sure dude. Sure.

  • @alsall2302
    @alsall2302 3 года назад +3

    Thank you Bill...u make us laugh 4real

  • @Tallgeese03
    @Tallgeese03 7 лет назад +66

    Even if you're a Trump supporter this has to be disturbing. Gotta admit it

    • @johnjeffries2094
      @johnjeffries2094 7 лет назад +2

      Tallgeese3 Not even a little bit

    • @Tallgeese03
      @Tallgeese03 7 лет назад +7

      john jeffries That's horrifying

    • @stormwatcher59
      @stormwatcher59 7 лет назад +3

      You'd think, but I doubt it!

    • @gordon4385
      @gordon4385 7 лет назад +15

      Nope, they're in massive denial. No matter how bad things get, they're response is:"...but, but but Hillary!"

    • @midorimashintaro2092
      @midorimashintaro2092 2 года назад

      Not after 1/6. Nothing should surprise anyone

  • @inheresomewhere9569
    @inheresomewhere9569 7 лет назад +142

    Holy shit aggressively acquiring real estate joke lmao

  • @piarossi4555
    @piarossi4555 7 лет назад +27

    "The Lethal Weapon of bovine brain-eating disease". SO savage😈

  • @d.dedrick7991
    @d.dedrick7991 6 лет назад +5

    Thanks a LOT, Bill Maher, for making me cry; with tears from laughter, that is, every time, that‼️🤣💦

  • @alexanderhorspool1906
    @alexanderhorspool1906 5 лет назад +23

    The first joke really made me explode with laughter. As someone who is begrudgingly pro Israel, lol, Kushner was definitely not the right choice.

    • @theangryholmesian4556
      @theangryholmesian4556 2 года назад

      "Begrudgingly pro-Israel" why do you support apartheid, land theft, ethnic cleansing, military occupation, and ethnoreligious supremacy for one group while treating the indigenous population as 2nd and 3rd class citizens in their own homeland?

  • @scortchcake1
    @scortchcake1 7 лет назад +79

    forgot Betsy Devos

    • @tracer740
      @tracer740 6 лет назад +2

      scortchcake1- That one and her infamous, war-mongering brother are too much for even the most bizarre made-for-TV movie!

  • @paitoonkhemapanon9692
    @paitoonkhemapanon9692 5 лет назад +3

    Bill thanks brilliant
    You are awesome
    Love your jokes

  • @Sueloveschoc
    @Sueloveschoc 7 лет назад +276

    Stephen miller would make a great IT clown!

    • @hamzamahmood9565
      @hamzamahmood9565 7 лет назад +8

      Sueloveschoc He'll float too

    • @ArtGirl82
      @ArtGirl82 7 лет назад +7

      He also would've made a great assistant manager at Kinko's, but at this point I think his media record disqualifies him

    • @randyjax09
      @randyjax09 7 лет назад +10

      Now that’s a guy I would never leave my kids alone with.

    • @yattaguru
      @yattaguru 7 лет назад +1

      Randy H kids? I wouldn't be caught within a 50 mile radius of that thing!

    • @randyjax09
      @randyjax09 7 лет назад +1

      Trollface Killa haha touché, that’s fair

  • @EschMan1234
    @EschMan1234 7 лет назад +64

    Sam Clovis is going to be the villain in the next star wars film. Darth Mushroom. lol

    • @BlackEpyon
      @BlackEpyon 7 лет назад +2

      Na. I liked Darth Syphilis better.

    • @Aebischer1984
      @Aebischer1984 7 лет назад +3

      Steve Bannon would make a better Darth Syphilis me thinks.

    • @BlackEpyon
      @BlackEpyon 7 лет назад

      But is his face on fire?

    • @sparkythekid9750
      @sparkythekid9750 7 лет назад +3

      Pizza the hut, mushrooms only edition

    • @tracer740
      @tracer740 6 лет назад

      Sol- Without a doubt!

  • @AmyGodwin89
    @AmyGodwin89 7 лет назад +268

    I want a tiny bill maher to take to all of my family holiday gatherings so he can just shut them all down. Yas.

    • @bradpolmateer4801
      @bradpolmateer4801 7 лет назад +4

      Amy Godwin I want a tiny Maher doll to throw darts at every time he says something smug

    • @laurad4822
      @laurad4822 7 лет назад +28

      Brad Polmateer - Triggered?

    • @DdDd-gd1rr
      @DdDd-gd1rr 7 лет назад +2

      Amy Godwin Your family is racist, but you can make up for it by loving a black man.

    • @geewiz8253
      @geewiz8253 7 лет назад +3

      Amy Godwin Haha. Now I have the image in my head. And him talking with a squeaky voice 😂

    • @troubleondemand7703
      @troubleondemand7703 7 лет назад

      Well, that's a pretty smug comment...

  • @komalthecoolk
    @komalthecoolk 7 лет назад +128

    I'm not even American but this is scary!

    • @MrWarlock124
      @MrWarlock124 6 лет назад +1

      komalthecoolk and funny

    • @Gabryal77
      @Gabryal77 6 лет назад +5

      This might actually be the most racist thing I've ever seen on the internet, and I'm not new to the internet, but this is some Storm Front level shit right here

    • @Jeroen1983
      @Jeroen1983 6 лет назад +1

      Just ignore him. I've seen him comment on a bunch of videos and, armed with my made-up degree in amateur psychology, I'd say he's a nobody in real life who vents his frustration on random people on the internet to feel better about how life didn't pan out the way he thought it would. Most he can aspire to is becoming a footnote in the pages of history. Something like: one of an assortment of assholes who did something stupid and are now laughed at for as long as the written word exists.

    • @Gabryal77
      @Gabryal77 6 лет назад +1

      My guess is he voted for Trump which means he's fine with rapists so long as they're white... which is a whole different level of fucked in the head

    • @Jeroen1983
      @Jeroen1983 6 лет назад

      Why don't you compile your own catalog of teenage "edginess"?

  • @gorillaguerillaDK
    @gorillaguerillaDK 7 лет назад +414

    Sam Clovis has eaten several farms, that's worth of agricultural experience.....

    • @gdionwood
      @gdionwood 7 лет назад +7

      You got that right, lol!!

    • @SGGCREATIVES
      @SGGCREATIVES 7 лет назад +8

      You're not wrong

    • @guthax30
      @guthax30 7 лет назад +7

      GorillaGuerilla I honestly think he only got the job cause his last name is Clovis. “Clovis? That’s obviously a country-hick name so I’m gonna make him the bigliest most tremendous farm-guy in my cabinet!”-Prez. Dump

    • @wohdinhel
      @wohdinhel 7 лет назад +9

      GorillaGuerilla implying he has ever consumed a vegetable

    • @TooBadThatDidntKillMe
      @TooBadThatDidntKillMe 7 лет назад +10

      wohdin It's not UFOs that are making the cows disappear.

  • @anitasmith4559
    @anitasmith4559 7 лет назад +4

    I'm laughing through the tears.

  • @TheDawnling
    @TheDawnling 7 лет назад +7

    Ms. Silverman is adorable and CORRECT!

  • @stormwatcher59
    @stormwatcher59 7 лет назад +12

    Massaging 45's ego is not something I'm willing to do.......much less any other parts of him!

  • @roberttrifiletti3234
    @roberttrifiletti3234 5 лет назад +7

    Thanks Bill sad, true, but great humor

  • @dalicloud9
    @dalicloud9 7 лет назад +18

    when things are slow she cuts up limes........niceeeee.

    • @michelez715
      @michelez715 4 года назад +1

      Yeah, but now we have AOC, Trump's scourge, and HE is always going on abt her having once been a bartender!

  • @Pattys1967
    @Pattys1967 3 года назад +1

    Love your show bill you crack me up

  • @michaelbratton472
    @michaelbratton472 3 года назад +1

    Bill is the best !!!

  • @gonzalocastaneda52
    @gonzalocastaneda52 7 лет назад +3

    This one is Good.

  • @tootoosaphilom22
    @tootoosaphilom22 5 лет назад

    Brilliant Bill et al..

  • @razor8191
    @razor8191 7 лет назад +104

    Stephen Miller is like a token character from a young adult novel, which in his case would be being the least popular kid at vampire school.

    • @jasonspencer4725
      @jasonspencer4725 6 лет назад +2

      razor 8191
      Miller reminds me a lot of Roy Cohn.

    • @spirit5228
      @spirit5228 3 года назад +1

      I wonder which of his parents Stephen miller looks lik?

    • @earthmotherr5230
      @earthmotherr5230 2 года назад

      @@spirit5228 He does bare a striking resemblance to his father, Mr. Burns.

  • @keitsi87
    @keitsi87 7 лет назад +41

    This was SAVAGE.

    • @tracer740
      @tracer740 6 лет назад +1

      ... but unfortunately true.

  • @geewiz8253
    @geewiz8253 7 лет назад

    Wow. Well said.

  • @NewMessage
    @NewMessage 7 лет назад +66

    Jared has 'Fall Guy' written all over him. Ain't nobody bangs Ivanka but Daddy, and gets away with it!

    • @Gabryal77
      @Gabryal77 6 лет назад +1

      Actually by all accounts Jared is the one person that comes before Donnie in Ivanka's world, I mean she converted to Orthodox Judaism to be with him ( look up at what you have to do to convert ), which is why I think that Jared is the one who will bring Trump down eventually. If he gets arrested for a crime ( say conspiracy to defraud the US Government because of his meeting on behalf of the Trump people with a Russian Agent ) with some serious time attached to it then Ivanka might plead out to the FBI in order to get Jared a lighter sentence, and Ivanka is probably the one Trump kid who really knows where the bodies are buried.

    • @constancepavlides955
      @constancepavlides955 5 лет назад

      Gabryal Sansclair u

  • @bryantminnis7572
    @bryantminnis7572 Год назад +1

    Bill Maher. High quality comedic performance gained from many years of stand up and television.

  • @stephanielewis6036
    @stephanielewis6036 7 лет назад +6

    Clovis and Kislyak might be the same guy... you’ve seen them. They’re each other’s doppelgängers 🤣

  • @carter1940
    @carter1940 7 лет назад

    Excellent finish!

  • @jesuscastanares4968
    @jesuscastanares4968 5 лет назад +3

    MAHER IS OKAY .
    HE MAKES YOU LAUGH .

  • @TheLady4justice
    @TheLady4justice 7 лет назад

    So true, so true

  • @jetsamperes5762
    @jetsamperes5762 7 лет назад +110

    You know the cupboard is full of stupid people when he didn't even mention Betsy DeVos.

    • @sandisteinberg1579
      @sandisteinberg1579 3 года назад

      That woman is a horror!

    • @lenkacfk7155
      @lenkacfk7155 3 года назад +1

      I was also waiting for the guy they found on Amazon, because he wrote a book about international trade that got dissed by all his peers - you remember, the one who advised to start the trade wars?

    • @sandisteinberg1579
      @sandisteinberg1579 3 года назад +1

      Yes. Let's start a trade war with our most reliable long-term business/trade partners (like Canada) for no discernable reason whatsoever!

  • @Phulosophy369
    @Phulosophy369 2 года назад

    Agreed 100%.

  • @jennwilliams1885
    @jennwilliams1885 5 лет назад +2

    Lmbo gotta love Bill for telling the truth

  • @gaetanlegrand9920
    @gaetanlegrand9920 5 лет назад +1

    SOOOOOO.....true

  • @meytovchhan1107
    @meytovchhan1107 5 лет назад

    Thanks again for this..make me no more tired after works ...from mey tov chhan

  • @sourabhtiwri
    @sourabhtiwri 7 лет назад

    Valid points

  • @sparkielyle3679
    @sparkielyle3679 7 лет назад

    Spot On BM, As Always . . .

  • @anthonymullings8666
    @anthonymullings8666 4 года назад

    ,boy bill Maher your good you should run for president you make so much sence a breath of fresh air

  • @OakhillSailor
    @OakhillSailor 7 лет назад +1

    Classic !

  • @alainpoteaujr7805
    @alainpoteaujr7805 6 лет назад +26

    2:35 find a girl looking at you the same way Ivanka look at the Canada pm

  • @Hailstormful
    @Hailstormful 7 лет назад +11

    Well... last few years I've built a house garden, and launched a water-pump rocket over my school building... I believe I'm more qualified for office than those 2 guys on NASA and Agriculture...

  • @loca2733mc
    @loca2733mc 3 года назад +1

    Came back for comedy relief ..... Spot on and it’s funnier even now.

  • @liberalinoklahoma1888
    @liberalinoklahoma1888 7 лет назад +18

    Ah, Trump went to Jared!!!!

  • @cxtian7129
    @cxtian7129 7 лет назад +2

    Too True too laugh

  • @zthomps9481
    @zthomps9481 7 лет назад +11

    This is dead on. Trump's worst ability (or lack thereof) has been appointments. They're often not just bad, they are terrible. Non-scientist to science positions, accountants as diplomats, people who've never teached for head of the DOE, I could go on all fucking day.

  • @biscuitninja
    @biscuitninja 7 лет назад +4

    If you made Sarah Silverman flinch....
    LOL!

  • @jacobzaranyika9334
    @jacobzaranyika9334 3 года назад

    Love love love 💕

  • @aprilgoffinet3159
    @aprilgoffinet3159 Год назад

    I love Bill. Hate to miss his show

  • @dangerouslysane
    @dangerouslysane 6 лет назад +4

    About that vetting process...

  • @salvadorvidrio6031
    @salvadorvidrio6031 4 года назад

    Good stuff!

  • @robertdupont1027
    @robertdupont1027 7 лет назад +1

    Dear Bill Maher show, can we have the complete New Rules segment going forward? The quick gags are sometimes better than the monologue at the end !

  • @saxyrep1
    @saxyrep1 7 лет назад +3

    Bill really annihilated them on this one. I mean damn !

  • @Dorian_sapiens
    @Dorian_sapiens 7 лет назад +2

    We've been hearing lots of Sam Clovis agriculture jokes in the last week or so, but the one in this segment takes the trophy.

  • @peterharley8408
    @peterharley8408 3 года назад +2

    The line about Jared's being most of the way through reading NAFTA's Wikipedia page. is priceless.

  • @Godzilla52
    @Godzilla52 7 лет назад +3

    lol I lost it when Maher called Trump Bad Ape.

  • @dabblerdeluxe775
    @dabblerdeluxe775 7 лет назад +15

    "I'll Drain the Swamp!" -Trump "This is MY SWAMP!!!" - Sarah 'huckabee' sanders

    • @rogerdorsey7823
      @rogerdorsey7823 3 года назад

      IT IS BETTER TO BE IN TRUMPS SWAMP THAN IN JAIL WAITING FOR A PARDON AFTER TRUMP VACATES THE WH.

  • @paulturner4474
    @paulturner4474 3 года назад

    Your an awesome humanitarian and funny to!

  • @looplu
    @looplu 7 лет назад +27

    And kill them ? 😕

  • @irenamangone
    @irenamangone 5 лет назад

    Good show.

  • @inquisitivecanadian6994
    @inquisitivecanadian6994 7 лет назад +2

    Bill Maher, as far as I can tell, the only man who can still make trump jokes and have them still be funny.
    I can’t even watch Colbert anymore, but somehow Maher pulls it off.

  • @Carlospjr
    @Carlospjr 6 лет назад +4

    Sam Clovis and Mushrooms growing in his Neck😂😂

  • @SonOfAWookiee
    @SonOfAWookiee 7 лет назад +3

    You forgot DeVos and Pruitt, two more who are completely unqualified for what they do.

  • @vertabrate1
    @vertabrate1 7 лет назад +26

    and people wonder why trump is so hated. this is not draining the swamp. i can't believe his supporters don't have a problem with these appointments.

    • @jasonspencer4725
      @jasonspencer4725 6 лет назад +4

      vertabrate 1
      If added up the IQ's of all Trump's supporters, you would still end up with a two digit figure.

  • @KingLarbear
    @KingLarbear 2 года назад +1

    I thought you were checking in on subway's Jared lol

  • @sharonkaley1331
    @sharonkaley1331 7 лет назад +4

    Not to mention who he is putting into judge-ships!!

  • @dimariobell8499
    @dimariobell8499 5 лет назад +1

    That mushroom joke was effin GOLD

  • @jlsteelcrafts8378
    @jlsteelcrafts8378 3 года назад

    Soo much fun !

  • @Faridfootball1
    @Faridfootball1 4 года назад +1

    Love your show Bill; kick that fast lardy ass of that criminal 💪🏻

  • @ittakesallkinds809
    @ittakesallkinds809 4 года назад +1

    It's 2020 & some of the faces have changed, but the analysis is still right on.

  • @bartb5258bb
    @bartb5258bb 7 лет назад +34

    This not funny Bill these are really his choice picks for jobs which none are qualified for it's seriously not funny snd the Senate are allowing this to happen they know these people aren't qualified

    • @stormwatcher59
      @stormwatcher59 7 лет назад +4

      They are beyond not qualified. 45 and the Senate put foxes in charge of hen houses....
      Scott Pruitt has been fighting the EPA for years, Betsy DeVos never set foot in a public school, Rex Tillerson was CEO of ExxonMobil.....and on it goes!

    • @tracer740
      @tracer740 6 лет назад +1

      Barton- As I've earlier stated, ' Cultism is an anomaly that defies all sense of logic and reason'.

  • @Will-hj3wt
    @Will-hj3wt 7 лет назад +3

    I got a peek at Uranus lmao.

  • @juiceski30
    @juiceski30 5 лет назад +1

    "Carson and Perry are the 'Lethal Weapon' of bovine brain disease." SAVAGE!

  • @cheriehall9066
    @cheriehall9066 7 лет назад +5

    Yeah that list of THE Best People IS pretty Pathetic! Bar tenders , Wedding Planners, and Rich People dominate the list! I think Every ONE he picked IS more LIKE the WORST People!

  • @twelge15
    @twelge15 7 лет назад +15

    Chief policy advisor, and National Forehead Reserve Stephen Miller.

  • @benitotommassi5820
    @benitotommassi5820 2 года назад +3

    It still amazes me that, looking back at these shows, team Trump still refuse to see anything bad about him.

  • @freetruths8810
    @freetruths8810 7 лет назад +1

    CHEERS BILL, KEEP UP THE FIGHT 😂😊😇😈

  • @michaelriteteritete3089
    @michaelriteteritete3089 3 года назад

    Your a bloody checky fella billy, funny ass brother

  • @hiltonwatkins6750
    @hiltonwatkins6750 7 лет назад +16

    To measure the IQ of the corporate wing in any organization just look to the chief who does the hiring. No one will be as smart as the person selecting the new kids. Which in this case sets the bar practically on the floor. Anyone who can step over it is hired! Yay!

  • @reneedavis870
    @reneedavis870 3 года назад

    Hysterical

  • @jamesr.9239
    @jamesr.9239 5 лет назад +2

    All his current and former cabinet picks would seem to to be the exception to his claims of "finding the best people", unless he means the best at Not actually running their departments except for into the ground.

  • @alsall2302
    @alsall2302 3 года назад +1

    Oh man that fool Ben Carson😂😂😂

  • @ungrateful-66
    @ungrateful-66 5 лет назад +3

    Shared classes with Jared in high school, so, I know he is far brighter than average. He’s actually been quite successful in many things.

  • @Novaheart1998
    @Novaheart1998 6 лет назад +2

    Lmfao! Bill rocks.

  • @bobjones7283
    @bobjones7283 7 лет назад +2

    The best part was when Sarah laughed.

  • @thdgcfx
    @thdgcfx 7 лет назад +2

    I cant believe its only been a year...

  • @cvader7
    @cvader7 5 лет назад +1

    who edited this video? that individual Must have been real cracking up during the process

  • @christsuke873
    @christsuke873 7 лет назад +116

    neck mushrooms are the grossest

    • @BcroG11
      @BcroG11 7 лет назад +6

      You can't make that joke with Michael Moore in the studio growing his own neck mushrooms.

    • @njosborne6152
      @njosborne6152 7 лет назад +1

      Chris Tsuke but true

    • @ronaldrump6062
      @ronaldrump6062 7 лет назад +6

      Agreed, they're really shitake.

    • @jamesshemes6879
      @jamesshemes6879 7 лет назад +2

      Yes ,there's a fungus among us, and it's called the Republican Party !

    • @timetryp5473
      @timetryp5473 7 лет назад +2

      The truffle hunters are stalking him!