Cinema Therapy meets Robert Kirkman // Narcissism in RENFIELD

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  • Опубликовано: 20 апр 2023
  • How do you stand up to a narcissistic abuser? What does setting boundaries look like?
    Licensed therapist Jonathan Decker and filmmaker Alan Seawright are joined by one of Alan’s storytelling heroes, Robert Kirkman, to talk about his most recent creation, Renfield. They discuss how the film succeeds in telling a story of escaping a narcissistic abuser while being both wholesome and gory. Jonathan explains why Renfield’s experience in group therapy to understand and break free of his co-dependent relationship with Dracula is so realistic. Robert shares insights about the creation of the story and bringing it to life with the wonderful cast, and Alan praises the sharp writing that shines through all the humor and gore. They banter about the banter in the film, and they forget the best line: GROW TO FULL POWER!
    Learn more about Renfield: www.renfieldmovie.com/
    Go see Renfield in theaters! www.fandango.com/renfield-202...
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    Cinema Therapy is:
    Written by: Megan Seawright, Jonathan Decker, and Alan Seawright
    Produced by: Jonathan Decker, Megan Seawright, Alan Seawright, Corinne Demyanovich, and Stu Arbury
    Edited by: David Sant
    Director of Photography: Bradley Olsen
    English Transcription by: Anna Preis
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Комментарии • 987

  • @teresaellis7062
    @teresaellis7062 Год назад +651

    Why do I find it adorable that Renfield held up "How To Defend Yourself Against A Narcissist" like it was a cross to keep Dracula at bay? I'm not sure. It was definitely an unexpected emotion, but it was adorable.🤷‍♀😂

    • @LittleHobbit13
      @LittleHobbit13 Год назад +47

      Well Mark tells him the book will be his bible, so it's funny when he holds it up like a shield as if it should hold Dracula back.

    • @teresaellis7062
      @teresaellis7062 11 месяцев назад +23

      @@LittleHobbit13 True, but what has me confused is my reaction. It IS a funny moment, I just wondered why my first thought was, "Aw, that's so adorable." Thinking more on my reaction I think it was the childlike trust Renfield had in the book. The book had helped him against Dracula so far, and he was thinking: "Perhaps it can be used as a ward?"

    • @pugtie4695
      @pugtie4695 10 месяцев назад +4

      Same

    • @applejayz1987
      @applejayz1987 8 месяцев назад +5

      Gives me Evelyn shouting
      "I LOVE YOU!" with the finger crosses

    • @LulaRMuniz
      @LulaRMuniz 7 месяцев назад +1

      i also found it adorable. maybe because he's still so powerless but is doing his best and i was cheering for him and when he held it i was like "c'mon dude that's ridiculous it's not gonna work" but at the same time i had this instinct to encourage him and believe it's actually gonna work.

  • @MaedayMisfit
    @MaedayMisfit Год назад +933

    As someone who was stuck in a narcassistic "friendship" for over 7 years, watching renfield was actually really cathartic because i realized," wow, narcassists really are the same regardless of if they are some douchbag you met in school or dracula"

    • @DawnDavidson
      @DawnDavidson Год назад +32

      Which neatly sums up why @Cinema Therapy is so effective!

    • @solidonseraindogthetenth1679
      @solidonseraindogthetenth1679 Год назад +16

      Or Wikham. Y'know. The guy from Pride and Prejudice.

    • @The-Busy-Beeeee
      @The-Busy-Beeeee Год назад

      @@solidonseraindogthetenth1679 oh yea he was a total douche

    • @MereMeerkat
      @MereMeerkat Год назад +29

      I laughed through that entire studio apartment scene in Renfield both because it was funny in its own right, and because it was so spot on. Hearing those same things from DRACULAAAA that you used to hear from a parent is just beautifully absurd.

    • @justalittleturtle5600
      @justalittleturtle5600 Год назад +25

      I cannot explain in words just how similar Nicholas Cage was to my mom in that one scene. That whole “Stop playing the victim. You’re not the victim. I’m the victim.” Scene made me feel really bad, I couldn’t bring myself to laugh, even though it was really funny, because of that bullshit argument I’m so familiar with. I really want to watch the movie and be able to enjoy it one day, when I can laugh at things that used to cause me pain. I think it’s good, and I can’t wait to reach that moment. I’m so glad it was cathartic for you, maybe watching the actual movie will give me a similar experience! I think I’ll enjoy it no matter what though.

  • @KartarNighthawk
    @KartarNighthawk Год назад +1907

    I always found Renfield's portrayal in the original Dracula novel to be fascinating, because for an 1890s depiction of the mentally ill it's surprisingly nuanced. It's made clear that he had a life before he became ill, that he has lucid moments wherein he feels terrible about his actions when ill, and when he tries to a) warn the cast about Dracula using him to access Mina and b) dies confronting the vampire when the others won't listen, it's played as a genuinely tragic moment. The novel criticizes the cast for not listening to Renfield's warning and writing him off as just a madman, and it condemns Dracula's manipulation of a mentally ill man as an especially evil act. For the era it was written I think it's shockingly good.

    • @Krlytz
      @Krlytz Год назад +103

      That's one of the few things I loved about the original. Too bad the excessive lovely-dovey romanticism of the Victorian era made most of the rest a slog for me 😅

    • @OscarGomez-hg8cb
      @OscarGomez-hg8cb Год назад +149

      It’s also an incredible depiction of a psychologist of the era! Jack Seward is a genuinely compassionate, caring and noble healer who wants nothing more than to help his patients, though he understands his capacity for that is very limited and for some people the best he can do is limit their capacity to harm themselves.
      He’s often criticized as unprofessional for occasionally experimenting a bit with his patients (well, Renfield), but it’s clear from his notes it’s because his field at the time doesn’t have a lot of information and he is trying to look for ways to help him!

    • @DawnDavidson
      @DawnDavidson Год назад +62

      @@OscarGomez-hg8cb yes, it was before much was known about “mental health” at all. As flawed as Freud’s psychological theories were, they were cutting edge at the time … and weren’t even published by the time the novel was written.
      I’ll be really interested to see this movie!

    • @KartarNighthawk
      @KartarNighthawk Год назад +64

      @@OscarGomez-hg8cb Yep. Seward and Renfield's relationship is a remarkably trusting one given the time period, the limitations of the science, and the genuinely dangerous nature of Renfield's illness. At minimum it demonstrates a core part of therapy: that the psychiatrist and the patient have to be working together to accomplish anything.
      And of course Seward's compassion, and that of friends of his, like Mina, is rewarded when Renfield puts his life on the line to stop Dracula--and despite dying in the attempt, may well have saved Mina from being fully vampirized in doing so. Stoker very much depicted his idealized version of the mental health system, and has it pay off in story.

    • @KartarNighthawk
      @KartarNighthawk Год назад +55

      @@DawnDavidson Hell, blood transfusions weren't a thing yet either. We don't tend to think of Dracula as sci fi but it's a good few decades ahead of its time in depicting the medical profession.

  • @sweetfeliko
    @sweetfeliko Год назад +2351

    I grew up with a narcissistic gaslighter as a dad. The Tangled episode and this one sum up both my trauma and my path out of it 😅 Thank you so much, Internet dads, for being here for us 🧡 I hope you're both doing good! Much love :)

    • @CinemaTherapyShow
      @CinemaTherapyShow  Год назад +293

      You're so welcome. Thanks for watching and being here. :)

    • @patatedesbois4748
      @patatedesbois4748 Год назад +40

      same here. It feels really good to see those videos

    • @jasonchaos236
      @jasonchaos236 Год назад +34

      Oh God I did too, why the hell is that so god damn common

    • @arielsong1289
      @arielsong1289 Год назад +42

      Same here! Just got (almost got) into a fight with such dad, locked myself in room, saw this video. Very good timing internet dads!! Thank you so much!

    • @christinaburkemper3105
      @christinaburkemper3105 Год назад +16

      Me too. I am right there with you. Hugs 🫂 we deserved better

  • @lilangelarishi
    @lilangelarishi Год назад +278

    I dunno if it hit anyone else as hard, but after the support group's massacre, Renfield was absolutely devastated at what "he" had done to his colleagues. I just felt so heartbroken and started crying as I watched him hold and rub Mark's arm. He couldn't think of any other way to lessen Mark's pain and terror besides that most basic and instinctual soothing motion. Mark's probably just a throwaway character, but he was welcoming and kind to those who wanted to learn to love themselves, and Dracula exploited that kindess to hurt him and his people. Renfield came for help because he wanted to change and be better and be kinder to himself, and Dracula exploited his vulnerability to kill the support group. Dracula twisted all the kindness and love into something despicable, and Renfield had blamed himself, and I was ugly sobbing into my root beer because Renfield just wanted to do good, be better, and was "punished" for it

    • @jamminoutrexan5474
      @jamminoutrexan5474 Год назад +36

      I genuinely thought the support group was a great addition to the movie too, and I unironically liked Mark. The whole scene of them getting killed is surprising (in a way -- you see it coming, but the weight placed on it I found surprising) and effective. You get that Renfield blames himself and that he's devastated, but of course the audience doesn't blame him.

    • @LittleHobbit13
      @LittleHobbit13 Год назад +22

      It was a really good way of showing how people get trapped in toxic relations by having their own goodness used against them. You tried to get help and it resulted in the people around you getting hurt. Of course it would make you hesitant in reaching out again because you're afraid of potentially hurting someone else, and so you just wind up feeling even more trapped and deserving of the abusive "blame". I really felt for Renfield in that scene. It was a perfect scene to be what immediately follows his first attempt to stand up for himself.

    • @Sly-Moose
      @Sly-Moose Год назад +18

      Dude, that scene broke my heart. I didn't want anything bad to happen to each and every one of those people who were just trying to get away from their own monsters 😭

    • @Sly-Moose
      @Sly-Moose Год назад +3

      ​@@jamminoutrexan5474 I didn't see it coming! I didn't think they would actually die! 😭

    • @chikizey4287
      @chikizey4287 10 месяцев назад

      Manipulators will try to isolate you from any source of help that is good for you to escape from their control. They will try to put you against them and convince you they are the bad ones who try to get into your head, and if that doesn't work they will be agressive to contain you from reaching out to them out of fear. So yeah despite killing all of them is a pretty much Dracula exageration thing, the real life Draculas really will try to "kill" (cut) them from your life and make you feel like is your fault, so you are afraid of trying that again.

  • @Crasteeh
    @Crasteeh Год назад +1367

    This may not have anything to do with the actual video, but i just wanna bring attention to the fact that for the 2 months i've been watching this content now, i can safely say this is one of the most supportive, Uplifting and kind communites i've seen on youtube. Kudos.

    • @CinemaTherapyShow
      @CinemaTherapyShow  Год назад +196

      That means so much to us. AND SHOULD TO YOU! You're part of it! Thank you for being here!!

    • @thejaded
      @thejaded 10 месяцев назад +6

      What a compliment, you gonna remember that forever ❤

  • @ImTheBestestEver
    @ImTheBestestEver Год назад +643

    Nicholas Cage randomly walked up to me and my wife in Baton Rouge a few years ago and we got a sweet selfie with him. He's not your sterotypical "too cool" celebrity. He approached us because I was in my Marine Dress Blues. Real stand up dude.

    • @daniellemusella1594
      @daniellemusella1594 Год назад +56

      @Collin I love how he downplays being part of a Hollywood dynasty. A few days ago, when he was promoting the film on Stephen Colbert's show, he briefly talked about a few of the other interpretations of "Dracula". One of them was the 1992 version, which starred Winona Ryder, Keanu Reaves, Anthony Hopkins, and Gary Oldman, and which was directed by Francis Ford Coppola. What Nicholas left out was the fact that this is HIS UNCLE. "Cage" is a stage name. (4/21/2023)

    • @ShockingPikachu
      @ShockingPikachu Год назад +50

      Nick is such a weird person he's such a sweet guy who puts 100% into every performance and that's why we love him. When he's in good movies, he's REALLY good, when he's in bad movies, he's the stand out best parts 😂

    • @dietotaku
      @dietotaku Год назад +27

      @@daniellemusella1594 i think people vaaaaastly underestimate the number of nepobabies in hollywood...

    • @daniellemusella1594
      @daniellemusella1594 Год назад +4

      @@ShockingPikachu And when he's snarky a-f, like he was in the two "National Treasure" movies......they really should have an Oscar category just for roles like that. (4/22/2023)

    • @daniellemusella1594
      @daniellemusella1594 Год назад +17

      @@dietotaku I think he knew the risk of being dismissed and/or underestimated as an actor, if he used his birth surname. That's why he changed it and kept the truth secret for so long. He's a great actor, and he wanted movie-goers to only see THAT part of him. (4/22/2023)

  • @ridercrusader01julian65
    @ridercrusader01julian65 Год назад +694

    Reinfield is the kind of movie I respect the most. Silly, over the top ridiculous mayhem with a human element that grounds the film enough to tell me these are still people going through the ridiculousness

    • @CinemaTherapyShow
      @CinemaTherapyShow  Год назад +63

      Totally agree!

    • @m3rrys0ngstr3ss
      @m3rrys0ngstr3ss Год назад +7

      Those are the best kinds of movies!

    • @Pip8448
      @Pip8448 Год назад +1

      That is the reason I watch anime instead of TV shows now.

  • @ChibiRagdoll.
    @ChibiRagdoll. Год назад +74

    The scene where Dracula shows up in the apartment had me immediately leaning over to my husband, whispering "but he wasn't invited in, wtf?", so when I saw the door mat I lost it 🤣 this whole movie is brilliant.

  • @moonbeamsun9066
    @moonbeamsun9066 Год назад +179

    I watched this is theaters and the scene where Dracula shows up at Renfield’s apartment and started gaslighting and blaming him for everything I was thinking “Oh Cinema Therapy taught me about this. I hope they do this one!”
    In all seriousness that was one of the most heartbreaking scenes in the film, seeing how Renifield is trying to stand up for himself but winds up groveling to Dracula again. Almost brought me to tears but made it really satisfying when he finally broke free. This film had the most realistic portrayal of an abusive relationship I’ve ever seen).
    Also I love how the film teaches to accept the wrong things you have done but not allow the abuser to use it to make you stay.

  • @NotaBizarreJoJo
    @NotaBizarreJoJo Год назад +412

    It’s been a while since I had so much fun watching a movie. Whoever’s idea it was to cast Nicolas Cage as Dracula needs a raise!

    • @CinemaTherapyShow
      @CinemaTherapyShow  Год назад +65

      Agreed!!

    • @g.d.graham2446
      @g.d.graham2446 Год назад +26

      ​​@@CinemaTherapyShow Still cannot wait for a couples therapy with Puss and Kitty, and especially the Puss in Boots: The Last Wish screenplay 😁

    • @studioyokai
      @studioyokai Год назад +20

      I was saying that just from seeing the trailer, and it was still even better in full.
      It helps that he's clearly enjoying the hell out of the role, like you can just tell he's having the time of his life on that set😂
      Can you imagine being in some of the meetings or pitches for this??
      "Okay so the premise is this: you know the assistant Dracula has, Renfield? "
      "...kinda?"
      "Okay so: Imagine if, after decades of helping Dracula, as his servant, like, getting him his meals and such..it's the modern world, yeah? And, he starts going to these group therapy sessions for people in relationships with a narcissist abuser..."
      "...intrigued. Go on."
      "And get this - Renfield, he realizes: he is in a 'toxic relationship' !"
      "Ha!"
      "And! Decides he wants to get out!"
      "I mean, who wouldn't?"
      "Right?? But of course, it's with frickin Dracula, so -"
      "That's going to be a bit of an effort"
      "Needless to say, yeah!"
      "So Mostly a comedy?
      "But with some genuine heart, and some horror elements of course. Renfield obviously, you want an actor for that that's good at those nervous, nebbishy, wallflower types, cute but in the way a skittish cat is - like, Nicholas Hoult, if you know who that is, that type. So you root for him."
      "Okay, so - I agree Hoult sounds good but he's not exactly got A list recognition Supporting cast... assuming we greenlit this, you especially gotta have a good Dracula. Did you have anyone in mind? Cause -"
      "Oh, that's the best part."
      "...oh?
      "Oh yes. I got a big name in mind for that - someone with comedy and drama chops and instantly recognizable, that I'm pretty sure would jump at the chance to play Dracula."
      "Well, who is it?"
      "Nic Cage."
      Long pause.
      "...how big a budget were you thinking and when can you start?"
      Also imagine being the person who gets to inform Nic Cage he had the opportunity to play Dracula. Just. Yes. The sheer joy. 😂💖
      S

  • @EleneCardoso
    @EleneCardoso Год назад +1086

    Renfield is a gem. And seeing Cage and the rest of the cast have so much fun is a blessing. Best internet dads talk about an awesome movie. What a good day!

    • @CinemaTherapyShow
      @CinemaTherapyShow  Год назад +109

      It really is! And Nic Cage nails his performance every dang time.

    • @sapphirejade5029
      @sapphirejade5029 Год назад +30

      Nicolas Hoult and Nicolas Cage SLAYED it! Both of them were amazing!!

    • @lyvectra8442
      @lyvectra8442 Год назад +26

      Everyone: talking about Renfield
      Advertisements: shows picture of actor I don't know and material I don't know
      Me: "Meh."
      Social Media: shows actual clips of the show
      Me seeing Nick Cage as a vampire: "Oh. oooOOOHHHhhhhhh....Guess I'm watching this."

    • @sapphirejade5029
      @sapphirejade5029 Год назад +3

      @@lyvectra8442 OMG! That's such a mood.🤣🤣🤣

    • @SerenityM16
      @SerenityM16 Год назад +4

      We need Nic Cage as Dracula MORE

  • @lacyLor
    @lacyLor Год назад +362

    I think the fact that I’m grinning ear to ear just watching this episode is a strong sign that I should see this film.

    • @CinemaTherapyShow
      @CinemaTherapyShow  Год назад +44

      You're right!

    • @puzzledcr0w689
      @puzzledcr0w689 Год назад +18

      i saw the movie in theaters, it was BEAUTIFUL!!!! definitely go and see it

    • @studioyokai
      @studioyokai Год назад +8

      You absolutely should. It's a damn good movie. And Alan is right, every actor is just fantastic in their roles.

    • @annarose2714
      @annarose2714 Год назад +7

      Ditto! I went and saw it the other day BECAUSE OF this video!! 😂👏

    • @Puppy_Puppington
      @Puppy_Puppington Год назад +2

      It’s hella fun!

  • @waternymph8085
    @waternymph8085 Год назад +60

    That scene where Dracula finds out Rendfield's apt triggered the fuck out of me. Especially when he smacks the vase and asks you think you could hurt ME?! I got out of a toxic abusive relationship where I never got physically hit but pretty much every other type of abuse save for sexual abuse was dished out. Anyways Nicolas Cage's delivery of the character was absolutely amazing. He's so theatrical and it works so damn well for Dacula. I was unfortunately with a bad audience that were silent the whole movie while I was cry laughing and howling in my seat the whole time😅 Shut the FUCK UP KYLE🤣

  • @dancechica
    @dancechica Год назад +143

    I was in an abusive relationship with a narcissist and this was a perfect mix of education and comedy. I didn't find it triggering and could laugh at the scenes like with the leader of the group

  • @miciarokiri5182
    @miciarokiri5182 Год назад +156

    As we watched this scene I told my husband "This is really classic narcissism." Saw it with just adults but I think our boys, 13 and 16, are going to be seeing it soon. The gore is SO over the top that it might as well be blue raspberry kool-aid most of the time.

    • @The-Busy-Beeeee
      @The-Busy-Beeeee Год назад +13

      Isn’t that like the whole point tho like satirising really old Dracula films?

  • @groofay
    @groofay Год назад +13

    Nic Cage flat-out looks like a 1920's German Expressionist actor in this movie and it gives me so much joy.

  • @doomyboi
    @doomyboi Год назад +37

    That "Wow why would you phrase it like that?" moment in the group therapy session is going to live rent-free in my head for a few weeks

  • @KalCounty
    @KalCounty Год назад +15

    I do like how the scene in the apartment is so layered and dense that everyone can take something different from it. Especially poignant for me was when Renfield tries to demonstrate empathy for Dracula only for him to disregard it completely. I know how it feels to try and placate someone on the warpath by acknowledging their feelings, only to realize that the only thing that will placate them is your subservience. Nothing else you could offer in its absence will make any difference at all. As a classic horror fan who's had some experience with a narcissist, I thought this take on Dracula was so, so good.

    • @msk-qp6fn
      @msk-qp6fn 10 месяцев назад

      I find that those type of people, whether they are narcissists or just with those tendencies, only respond when you are able to fight fire with fire so to say. They think they know it all and are the best so snide comments on their superiority is a justification for them have rule over you, so you actually have to be willing to attack them and show willingness to be violent.

  • @waitwhat238
    @waitwhat238 Год назад +383

    Gonna be totally honest
    This channel helped me learn and be better. I didn't even know I was a victim till I came here, but everything sparked and I got out of that place, and since, everything is better.

    • @CinemaTherapyShow
      @CinemaTherapyShow  Год назад +62

      That's so wonderful. Keep up the great work!

    • @le_th_
      @le_th_ Год назад +20

      Happy for you that you escaped. Wishing you well along your path to healing~

    • @KalCounty
      @KalCounty Год назад +6

      It's hard to know when you're in it, much easier to see in hindsight when you're free of their influence. Glad you're doing better.

  • @jaclynkiszczak230
    @jaclynkiszczak230 Год назад +161

    This film is a gem! The fact that THE INSANELY talented Robert Kirkman came on to discuss the film with you two is so amazing! Great writing, fantastic performance from both Cage and Hoult. Cage cracked me up the entire time due to how camp he was but the scene in the apartment was so well written. It was so sad and and so well performed.

    • @CinemaTherapyShow
      @CinemaTherapyShow  Год назад +25

      We were so honored to talk with him!

    • @priestessmikokikyo77
      @priestessmikokikyo77 Год назад +5

      A spinoff would be so cool i would love to see nick cage Dracula back with his children, Marya Zeleska and Alucard! protecting their father but also going on a bloodhunting spree!

  • @anjelica948
    @anjelica948 Год назад +258

    As someone who has an extremely narcissistic mother, this all hits so incredibly hard. I can’t get away from her at the moment- she’s partially disabled and nobody else will help her. And when I did manage to get out from under her once, I was gone for about four years, and when I finally came to visit, something had broke in her brain. She’s become a paranoid, depressed, alcoholic, hoarder. I moved back in with her to help her, but sometimes it is extremely painful. Its gotten better than it was when I first moved in, and I have been drawing some soft boundaries, but I still mostly do not have my own life. My best friend surprised me with a visit, and I told her explicitly “Whatever she says, I just have to do it.” And she goes “But we could do it this way and it would still be the same result.” And I said “Yes you’re right, and any normal person wouldn’t care. But bc its her, I HAVE to do it her way, or she’ll lash out. I’m not allowed to have opinions or thoughts that are different from her.”
    That’s just one example. There’s a million others, some of which are extremely dark. But as was pointed out in this video, the narcissist needs their victim, not the other way around, and so taking back your power is possible. Its just an exhausting battle, and you can’t do it alone.

    • @gaelle4328
      @gaelle4328 Год назад +83

      As a partially disabled person you have no obligation to help her, you have one life …yours.

    • @2degucitas
      @2degucitas Год назад +24

      I hope you get free of her again soon.

    • @lindseystein9676
      @lindseystein9676 Год назад +48

      @Anjelica I’m sorry you’re dealing with that. I very much empathize, I have a controlling, narcissistic mom as well. After years of verbal/emotional abuse, ignoring any boundaries, faking various illnesses so I’d move in with her/talk to her, I finally cut off contact. It was one of the best things I’ve ever done, but I also know that can be difficult to do. I was guilted by family to “just get along” for years. Even with your mum being disabled, you don’t have to put your own life on the back burner to take care of her. There are resources out there if she needs assistance. At a certain point, if your relationship is causing that much stress/turmoil, you need to put yourself first. It’s not selfish to do that.

    • @madhatterline
      @madhatterline Год назад +29

      Sounds like one of the things that has trapped you is your own goodness. You probably know that you could just leave her to it, if she's driven everyone away it's of her own making. But you have too much compassion to just abandon her & leave her alone, whether she's a good person or not. It's both an admirable show of strength, & kinda sad, as you're unhappy, & yet whatever you do, however much you give, you can never make her happy either. At best you can sooth her from one day to another, but it's a bottomless pit that you're throwing your good energy into. I wonder what else good in the world you could use that energy for. So you're both trapped together, in a misery that won't be solved until one of you dies. Maybe you're also afraid of feeling guilty if you leave, though I wonder if living with the guilt would be worse than being trapped in your current prison. Either way, I hope you can at least find some healthy relief & comfort. xxxx

    • @tayloredwards1675
      @tayloredwards1675 Год назад +30

      Hey, my mom is actually going through this with her mother right now, so I want to try and help you with what she’s doing: put her in hospice or residential care if you can get her into it. It takes a lot of work, and it’s not easy, but it can address her actual needs and give you the opportunity to get your life back. My mom still has to address some issues that have come up, but she still gets to control the situation without having to be roped back in completely. And from one person who was under their thumb as well: you don’t owe her a damn thing at all, remind her that you have the control as the caretaker and can leave the moment YOU choose. Don’t let her make you feel guilty when she’s the one who put herself in that position.

  • @rosemadder5547
    @rosemadder5547 Год назад +128

    Jonathan is so passionate addressing the scene in Renfields studio apt. And I see why. They NAILED it. I now have a sign on my wall that reads “I will grow to full power” 😂 Since I’ve started watching this show, along with Surviving Narcissism, I’ve gone from depressed hiding in my room in my narcissistic baby daddy’s house, to getting my EMT license, a job doing what I love, and am a month from moving out with our son!!! ❤ Baby daddy is getting worse the closer it gets 😅 and it’s somehow satisfying watching him panic and ignore my accomplishments 😅 it’s like validation every time he ignores my milestones!

    • @lkf8799
      @lkf8799 Год назад +10

      Congratulations! My coworker just finally left her narcissistic baby daddy and I'm so happy for her. I went no contact with my narcissist sister 6 years ago.
      Dr. Ramani has so many videos about narcissism and recovery/healing. Strongly recommend her.

    • @dancingnature
      @dancingnature Год назад +4

      Also recommend Theramintrees on RUclips . Be careful of narcissists when you reach for freedom. I’ve been burned , stabbed and beaten while dealing a toxic parent trying to get me fired from a job and also hurting my children

    • @dancingnature
      @dancingnature Год назад +3

      Get the police involved if you have to.

    • @Amitabha108
      @Amitabha108 11 месяцев назад +4

      Don't let him in on your exact moving date. Mis-direct, omit info, whatever you have to do - for your child's sake if not your own. He must not be given the opportunity to harm you or steal your joy.

  • @meganruiz495
    @meganruiz495 Год назад +36

    I was in an abusive relationship the past 5 years. I would be treated like crap and he would say every behavior was because I was doing something. I really thought it was me. The only thing I knew was to go to therapy because I felt I was messed up in some way.
    Watching this video really clears up what my therapist did for three years straight. She made me focus on my needs, and have other strategies to meet those needs then turn to my partner.
    I’m now almost a year without contact with him, and still healing from the impact.

    • @zoewong7891
      @zoewong7891 Год назад +1

      I’m happy you’re healing yourself and having NC from your ex. It’s not easy to run away and stand up against those who tried to victimize themselves because of their narcissistic tendencies, but you did the right things to save yourself from spiraling further. I bet your friends and family are proud of you.

  • @unofficialmeme5972
    @unofficialmeme5972 Год назад +402

    Was hoping you guys would cover this movie. I feel it did a pretty damn good job portraying narcissists that essentially abuse people, given I've seen a few people like them before in real life.

    • @CinemaTherapyShow
      @CinemaTherapyShow  Год назад +52

      It really does a good job!

    • @Matagu1
      @Matagu1 Год назад +7

      Just proove that we all need dads... Internet dads.👨‍🍼 Positive male role models and masculinity.♂️👀 There are things a woman/ mother cant give.
      🦵💗💜💙💚🤍💛🧡❤️🤎🖤💪

    • @allinix7intp
      @allinix7intp 4 месяца назад

      ​@@Matagu1"masculinity" doesn't exist, you know. You mean "man" right ?

  • @leahcompton2522
    @leahcompton2522 Год назад +20

    The scene that you all were talking about being perfect. Where Renfield was standing up to Dracula...it actually kinda triggered me a bit. I was very uncomfortable and getting the rise in heart beat. It really reminded me of when I left my childhood home.
    It's really hard to love somebody who is so broken.
    I'm 50 and I still hurt sometimes wishing I would have had a normal upbringing.
    So very sad what adults can do to their children.

    • @weasel7491
      @weasel7491 7 месяцев назад +1

      Same, in theaters I felt myself kinda flinch and shrink, but I was cathartically happy for it.
      The sad thing was I was in a codependent friendship when I saw it (not narcissistic, mostly just unhealthy, but not abusive by any stretch) and I remember asking her to see Renfield, and she was like "it's going to be a dumb movie" and I was like "but that's the fun part of Nicholas Cage movies!"
      Still really glad I saw it.

  • @emilyflowers9454
    @emilyflowers9454 Год назад +18

    Both my mom and my ex-husband are narcissists. My ex ditched me, but I'm stuck with my mom. We're states away from each other, but she's still in my head. Therapy is definitely needed.

  • @daniellemusella1594
    @daniellemusella1594 Год назад +58

    Dracula's "strawberries in blood" martini is, no doubt, going to be a huge Halloween prop at party supply stores, this coming October. I also love how insanely twitchy he was for half of this scene, like he took a bunch of meth or cocaine just before Renfield walked in. (4/21/2023)

    • @eleanorcooke7136
      @eleanorcooke7136 Год назад +4

      Vodka lemonade with either grenadine or red food colouring with strawberries both as a garnish and muddled in.

    • @Puppy_Puppington
      @Puppy_Puppington Год назад

      Hey. Why’d you write the date down lol

    • @daniellemusella1594
      @daniellemusella1594 Год назад +3

      @@Puppy_Puppington I like the idea that, should I come back across my comment[s] on something several years from now, I can remember exactly what I was doing with my life when I first typed it. (5/8/2023)

  • @PandaMonium92827
    @PandaMonium92827 Год назад +78

    It's stuff like this where you realize just how many people get away with abusing you like this from any angle in life because we didn't have a name for what they were doing. I'm recovering from multiple angles of narcissistic abuse and watching this makes me feel so validated I almost want to scream

  • @pixywings
    @pixywings Год назад +17

    This movie is so great. It's hard to believe something so bloody, gory, and gross could be so funny and wholesome.
    I really love the scene when Dracula comes to Renfield's apartment. Dracula is backing Renfield into a corner with his words, but he also is actually physically backing him into a corner. I feel like this really gets the emotion across of feeling trapped and like nothing you do will help.

  • @susanprice3377
    @susanprice3377 Год назад +33

    My son is in his 30s, divorced from his abusive wife ... who has succeeded in persuading the courts that *she* was the one threatened ... he is still suffering CPTSD from the end of their marriage. Nic Cage was painful for me to watch in that pivotal scene because what he did to Renfield was so familiar from what our son's ex did to him.

  • @christinaburkemper3105
    @christinaburkemper3105 Год назад +96

    It is a very REAL experience to have someone piling on accusations, blame, and mockery (oh, please teach me what you've learned 🙏 cuz you're so much smarter than me now) and be trying hard to hold onto your growth and stand up for yourself... but inside you can almost feel yourself slipping away and disassociating to escape the moment in your mind. Holt nailed it completely. This was my childhood with a verbal abuser. The moment you try to stand in your truth, you're mocked and shamed into submission.

    • @le_th_
      @le_th_ Год назад +15

      This is extremely difficult and PTSD-inducing for an adult to endure and not dissociate. No child should ever have to grow up with this degree of psychological abuse. I'm so very sorry this happened to you. It's really unfair. You deserved better. I'm glad you're safe now.
      Wishing you well as you continue down your path of healing and self-discovery~

  • @lilylou4693
    @lilylou4693 Год назад +13

    19:00 came to the comments to say this! It's THE best depiction of a NPD rage I've ever seen besides from living it.
    I'm not someone who likes to diagnose people with stuff but the more I go on on my own therapy, the more I suspect my mother to suffer from NPD. She behaved just like cage... Same crazy eyes, SAME narrative, same order of putting arguments... Everything, NAILED IT!
    I guess I'll never know for sure if she has NPD but watching this video is yet another clue toward that possib. The depiction is so accurate, it was even a little bit uncomfortable for me to watch the scene...
    And Jonathan is absolutely right : we laugh because is ment to be that way but the truth is : I can guarantee you, Redfield is TERRIFIED. As a kid, I wanted to pee myself when she cornered me like that. It's the same sensation you have when you come out of a car after an accident : an immense adrenaline rush and a sens of confusion. I think that's when I've learned to dissociate.
    Unfortunately, that the only model of "communication" I had growing up so I've picked some of that unhealthy anger and it's been ao difficult to unlearn all of that.
    Thank to the filn creators for touching on this subject and thank to Cinema Therapy to analyze this by the therapeutic lens; its been very validating to me ❤

  • @YanaDeli
    @YanaDeli Год назад +112

    Thank you for such a great video! ❤
    P. S. I translated this movie to be officially dubbed in Russian, and also was a creative consultant for the dubbing process. It was very fun to work on. Sorry, I just really wanted to brag about it 😁

    • @CinemaTherapyShow
      @CinemaTherapyShow  Год назад +22

      That's an awesome brag!

    • @sofiafance888
      @sofiafance888 Год назад +2

      Аааа, как круто! Жаль, в моём городе его не показывают, хотелось бы легально оценить ваши труды :(

    • @YanaDeli
      @YanaDeli Год назад +2

      @@sofiafance888 Спасибо!) Да, увы, наверное, только нелегально получится.

    • @emmamay5721
      @emmamay5721 Год назад

      Вау, это так классно. Как вы попали в переводы фильмов? Мне интересна эта сфера, тоже хочется поработать)

    • @ANutterwitch-wq1gj
      @ANutterwitch-wq1gj Год назад +1

      So glad you translated '𝐑𝐞𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐞𝐥𝐝,' making the movie available to millions of Russians! Perhaps 𝐂𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐚 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐲 will ask you to subtitle their analysis!

  • @scottyb8392
    @scottyb8392 Год назад +57

    I love the historic throughline of vampires being narcissists, even the first modern vampire: the Lord Byron-inspired vampire written by John Polidori - who may have LITERALLY been in a relationship with Byron and was definitely a victim of his narcissistic tendencies.

    • @thedepthsofrepair
      @thedepthsofrepair Год назад +2

      Nice mention. I just read a Daily Beast (old) article related to this topic. It mentions Polidari and Byron.

    • @scottyb8392
      @scottyb8392 Год назад +2

      @@thedepthsofrepair I find their relationship so fascinating. Polidori’s diary is on the internet archive and it is an incredible read, it’s like reading a reality tv show contenstant’s diary with all the drama they got into.
      Polidori gets arrested, whacks Byron across the legs with an oar, generally gets very emotional and passionate. And he’s genuinely a great writer despite being so young.

    • @frumiousbandersnatch
      @frumiousbandersnatch Год назад +3

      I enjoy that there is practically an entire subgenre of literature based on Lord Byron being an epic d-bag.

    • @ThreadBomb
      @ThreadBomb 6 месяцев назад +2

      It's a shame Polidori gets overlooked so often, because he really did write the first vampire novel. And yes, his relationship with Byron was weird.

    • @scottyb8392
      @scottyb8392 6 месяцев назад +1

      @@ThreadBomb SO weird. Burns me up inside knowing Polidori's original diary was destroyed by his Catholic family members and Byron's memoirs were mostly lost as well. From his diary, Polidori seemed like an incredibly emotional man; passionate and highly sensitive. Endlessly skilled in the arts, a very great poet! I think if he'd lived even just a decade longer, he would be as famous as Byron or Shelley.

  • @they-call-me-mister-trash847
    @they-call-me-mister-trash847 Год назад +29

    Just recently escaped a toxic gaslighting narcissistic friend. If you want to know what kind of person he was, literally every single word and sentence in the DSM-5 for "Narcissistic Personality Disorder" fit him precisely; every criterion, every description, exactly to the letter.
    Reprioritizing my needs was hard, but the hardest part was telling him I wanted out and not giving him any explanation. I still have this feeling that I owe him some explanation, some reason, but I also know now that I can't offer him that because he will not accept it, will not agree, will deny the behaviors, and gaslight me so hard that by the end of the conversation I would apologize to him and walk away feeling like I was the one who was being toxic.
    I'm so much happier now, but it's been a struggle losing the only friend I had left.

    • @msk-qp6fn
      @msk-qp6fn 10 месяцев назад +1

      I am unsure if my mom is narcissistic but i often feel compelled to go along my mom as i dont want to deal with arguing with her and i really dont like how she is waiting for me after my work. Now granted we are in a foreign country but damn. That being said it isnt like i do not disagree with her or fight with her. It is a shame that i only became gutsy enough to do it after i went to college cuz it feels like i only started arguing with her because i could actually physically plummel her if i wanted to, but it also one of the reason she started listening to me because i showed the willingness to get violent at her. It really sucks feeling like not having your own life or identity

    • @allinix7intp
      @allinix7intp 4 месяца назад

      Having a personality disorder is not just having a list a 8 symptoms 🙄🤦‍♀️

    • @they-call-me-mister-trash847
      @they-call-me-mister-trash847 4 месяца назад

      @@allinix7intp No one said it was, but go off.

  • @mw7165
    @mw7165 Год назад +72

    Need more movies about covert narcissists. Those are more dangerous than the overt ones, I think. I was with one for 8 years and no one believed me about the things they were doing because, “they’re so nice and charming- you’re just a liar. They tell us about the horrible things you do and how crazy you are! THEY’RE the real victim here!” No one realized the absolute horrors I was going thru, all the cheating and mental/emotional ab~$e and neglect this person was putting me thru and how many times I tried to get away, but they would convince me I was just imagining things or I was wrong or they would threaten me (usually with unaliving themselves, but a few times with harming me or telling things I’d told them in confidence). I would tell myself that I had to stay because they “needed” me or I’d feel guilty if they actually did end up unaliving themself or they had some of my things that I wanted back, in top of all the rest of it all. I had gotten so used to getting beaten down, degraded, used and cheated on by this person that it just became the norm. But I eventually reached a breaking point and got fed up with it. I realized I could do better and deserved better. They didn’t take me “rebelling” very kindly and tried to hurt me emotionally, physically and psychologically. They made threats on my life. When that didn’t work, they tried playing nice. Then threw a tantrum, like a toddler. Then tried distracting me from what I was asking. Then tried sleeping with me. I’ve since blocked them everywhere. Changed my number and moved on with my life. I have no idea what they’re doing. Don’t want to know. They’ve tried eliciting a response from me in a game we both play, twice (I could tell based on a teammate’s response to them), but I just laughed at their stupid attempt and went on with my day. I’ve had weird random things happen after these encounters, on my birthday and just random times (my call button at my apartment getting rang/cops being called and looking for their favorite character in their favorite movie- not my name/pieces of blank paper being left under my car’s windshield wipers). No one else knows where I live, so I’m almost positive it’s them.

    • @paulauken799
      @paulauken799 Год назад +11

      Have been through something similar myself. Well done for leaving and seeing your worth. It is very hard to come to terms with. Remember your strength. Look after yourself and don't be afraid to get the authorities involved if harassment continues.

    • @daniellemusella1594
      @daniellemusella1594 Год назад +5

      @MW Here's my advice. At all times, keep as many forms of protection on your person as you can carry comfortably. A pocketknife or two in your shoe[s], mace, pepper spray, or bear spray on your belt loop, and/or a gun in the back of your waistband beneath your shirt. (4/21/2023)

    • @DawnDavidson
      @DawnDavidson Год назад +12

      @@daniellemusella1594 I agree with everything except the gun. Too easy for the abuser to grab that and use it against the OP.
      There are classes from a group called IMPACT that teach people basic self-defense in real time, so you get muscle memory, not just head knowledge. I took the basics class and sent my daughters through it. I know they also have advanced courses on dealing with armed opponents (which I never took). I don’t know how they fared in the pandemic, but if they are still running K recommend them highly.

    • @DawnDavidson
      @DawnDavidson Год назад +7

      I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. It sounds exhausting. Glad you got out. See my comment below about IMPACT, a group with courses on self defense that ACTUALLY WORK. They teach you to “fight dirty” and get away. Very effective, if you ever need that.
      Hope you don’t, though. Good luck!

  • @nosticker4u862
    @nosticker4u862 Год назад +14

    It’s actually both very hard to watch this episode and also incredibly validating. 14 mos ago, I grabbed my (then) 4 y/o and ran from my abusive narcissist husband. So much of what’s happening in this movie is chillingly familiar.

  • @ritachambers782
    @ritachambers782 Год назад +5

    During the "I will no longer tolerate abuse" etc scene I turned to my roommates who I'd gone with to the theater and I said "hey guys I think this movie's really good"

  • @mandipandi303
    @mandipandi303 Год назад +34

    I'm going to see this movie tomorrow. I'm so excited. I was raised by a narcissistic abuser and had no idea. It wasn't until I made friends who were like, "That is NOT okay," that I realized how bad it was. I finally cut ties and I've never been happier. Sadly, multiple people have cut her out of their lives and she still sees herself as the victim.

  • @misscrackwood
    @misscrackwood Год назад +101

    When I first saw the trailer I was just so excited to see Cage and Hoult together! I always felt Hoult was a bit overlooked at the beginning of his career (first saw him in Skins and was immediately hooked!), he's such a brilliant actor! But I didn't know if it would be an actually good movie or just a goofy thing, and looks like it's perfectly both! Those few scenes were so good in every way (and OMG, the apartment design matching with Renfield's sweater? Wonderful set/costume design T__T ). I NEED to see that movie!

    • @studioyokai
      @studioyokai Год назад +1

      Went to see it with the spouse and a good friend on Thursday and loved it! The whole thing is just really good.
      The cast - Alan is right, it's stellar casting and performances, from the big names on down to the bit parts. Even the action scenes are well acted, both in terms of dramatic tension and comedy!
      And well-constructed and filmed honestly; any fight scene in this movie is I feel exactly the right level of chaos, just enough to give you a sense of urgency without the viewer losing track of what's going on.
      The writing as a whole? Excellent. The plot is very well structured, coming together smoothly, and its VERY funny and yet also has a fair amount of heart and some great character development.
      Everything, including the soundtrack, is good, even and especially when they take it in fun, unexpected directions (of all the My Chemical Romance tracks to show up in a Dracula movie? I have to say "Na Na Na" would not have been my first guess!)
      If you liked what you saw in the trailer, just wait til you see it in full; imo it lives up to it and then some. Absolutely worth a watch. ❤

    • @michelleevelynt
      @michelleevelynt Год назад +5

      @misscrackwood agreed. Hoult is an underrated gem. If you haven't already - watch Warm Bodies. 10/10

    • @jaao3414
      @jaao3414 Год назад

      And Hulu’s The Great!!

  • @juiceconstruct
    @juiceconstruct Год назад +13

    As someone who got out if a relationship with a narcissist a few years ago, seeing the movie was a really great reminder of how easy it is to become a victim and that I shouldn't blame myself for "making myself a victim". Also, it was a really fun movie and I loved how much color was used in the visuals :)

  • @wesleycolvin7158
    @wesleycolvin7158 Год назад +5

    The way Cage chews up these scenes, if I'd rolled in on a random scene I might not have noticed he's playing a vampire. A vampire is a surprisingly effective metaphor for an abuser.

  • @ab6525
    @ab6525 Год назад +47

    Its so cool that you guys got to work with one of the creators of the film on this one! I hope that you get to do that more in the future 😊❤

  • @kingkelevra4545
    @kingkelevra4545 Год назад +29

    Speaking of Robert Kirkman, I would love to see an episode talking about the relationship between Mark and Nolan Grayson from the “Invincible” series.

  • @tkrause1116
    @tkrause1116 Год назад +26

    Ok, today would have been my 22nd wedding anniversary, but I was married to a narcissistic abuser (named Mark, LOL) and finally left that toxic codependent relationship 9 years ago. Watching this now makes me laugh, but also gives me chills as I will always remember what it was like. So spot on and now I have to watch Renfield!! Thank you @Cinema Therapy!!!

  • @justasmltwngir1732
    @justasmltwngir1732 Год назад +13

    I love the spooky intro title card for this one

  • @Batwing_Confetti
    @Batwing_Confetti Год назад +8

    Stoker’s vampire has always been such a perfect allegory for abusers even in spite of the lack of terminology Bram was working with for his time. Honestly I’m so grateful this film really steered into that reading, because it was probably my favorite things about the original story. I always found it very poignant and true to life how his iconic antagonist could project such an image of insurmountable power over individuals in his thrall, but in reality he was just a feeble parasite who subsisted off of cheap gaslighting tactics to avoid his plethora of crippling weaknesses. The strength of this vampire wasn’t his supernatural powers; it was that nobody in the contemporary setting of modern England would believe in those superstitions, and would sooner doubt their own sanity and keep these ‘imaginings’ to themselves out of shame.
    Van Helsing even charmingly refers to The Count as having a “child brain”, lacking deeper intuition or emotional intelligence, and it’s demonstrated perfectly through his actions. I think I remember one passage where Dracula boldly pontificates that he would have his “revenge against the world” or something to that effect, and absolutely none of the protagonists engage this with even the slightest inkling of curiosity in the diary entries the book is comprised of. Drac is just a pathetic, delusional shell of a man who wants to relive his good old days of cruelty and conquest, yet is ultimately undone by the first healthy friend group he comes up against and is chased back home and destroyed.
    It’s easily the best “power of friendship” stories ever written, as it denotes how powerful communication and social solidarity can be against even the most monstrous abusers. Renfield perfectly honors these themes in a way I haven’t seen in any other adaptations.

  • @dietotaku
    @dietotaku Год назад +11

    i probably would've been sold on this movie just knowing it's about the psychology of abusive relationships and toxic narcissists, but "what? that is so weird, why would you say it like that?" sealed the deal 😂 i had to double-check that line wasn't being delivered by jonah hill circa 2006

  • @lucasgoad5691
    @lucasgoad5691 Год назад +61

    I have grown up with a self absorbed narcissist for 27 years of my life.
    Of course, that narcissist is me, and amazingly perfect as I am, it can be annoying dealing with myself sometimes. You guys have really helped me to deal with myself.

    • @theunderstatement6842
      @theunderstatement6842 Год назад +22

      i can't tell if this comment is a joke or not

    • @lisajohnson4744
      @lisajohnson4744 Год назад +1

      🤦‍♀️😂

    • @lesliesantos8595
      @lesliesantos8595 Год назад

      Wtf ...yeah i feel like if were around a narcissistic person well become one too i guess to some extent

  • @twipardist9742
    @twipardist9742 Год назад +3

    A few years ago I stood up a a narcissistic friend. She got revenge my taking potshots at my dad over Facebook, and then unfriending him. So yeah, literally what is being described here. I *still* don't know how to deal with them.
    I feel guilty about trying to leave, because they struggle with their own issues/mental health/past trauma. But every interaction I have with them is literally draining.

  • @Carleen-po6js
    @Carleen-po6js Год назад +2

    Hearing the husk and the victim scene is to perfect.

  • @claratalbot7613
    @claratalbot7613 Год назад +8

    I grew up with grandparents who were narcissists & like Reinfeld I didn't realize it until I had a good group of friends who accept me for who I am, don't prioritize their needs as more in important than mine, don't disrespect or ignore my boundaries, & don't push expectations onto me that I didn't want. Once I was out I found it so liberating to be able to live my life how I want & make choices for myself without being expected to get approval first & to spent the majority of my life taking care of my grandparents in their elder years. In the group we respect each others needs, boundaries, & we allow people to make choices for themselves as while will offer advice to each other but leave it ultimately up to the individual or individuals to make decisions for themselves

  • @kutenno3763
    @kutenno3763 Год назад +11

    I agree with Kirkman. I'd take my kid. Thanks to steven universe and the way they've been raised, I think not only would they get a kick out of the movie, but they'd also start asking questions. They're pretty emotionally aware of relatable scenes. I've caught them, on several occasions, tearing up at a scene because it's happy, sad, overwhelming in some way. When I ask them why they're crying, they're able to recite storyline previously presented, then the reason the character was upset, why a whole scene made her too happy, etc. This kid would catch that. I might take them to see it.

  • @ryebread69
    @ryebread69 11 месяцев назад +1

    I'm so glad people are talking about this movie. My best friend and I walked into the theater with some very LOW expectations and walked out THOUROGHLY impressed. It hit very close to home for both of us. Neither of us were expecting to be called out by a Dracula movie. We laughed, we cried, we were happy the writers, producers, and directors did their homework, and we loved every second of it. 10/10 movie.
    Also, Nic cage playing Dracula wasn't on my 2023 bingo card but I'M SO HERE FOR IT

  • @justasmltwngir1732
    @justasmltwngir1732 Год назад +14

    Alan being in TWO different ska bands in high school is so crazy

    • @CinemaTherapyShow
      @CinemaTherapyShow  Год назад +7

      Also a swing-punk band, and I played in a swing Big Band at a club in SLC for a few months. Being in High School in the late 90's was a TRIP.

    • @justasmltwngir1732
      @justasmltwngir1732 Год назад

      @@CinemaTherapyShow SWING-PUNK??? That’s incredible

  • @lydiakies9053
    @lydiakies9053 Год назад +8

    I recently ended a friendship that I didn't realize was narcissistic until now..
    Ouch.

  • @thomasveech7456
    @thomasveech7456 Год назад +10

    I would love a cinema therapy of Warm Bodies. Same leading actor is phenomenal in it. Worlds greatest zombie romance all about change and what it means to live.

  • @JH-td4mn
    @JH-td4mn Год назад +1

    As a survivor of a relationshit with a Narcissist, this fun film put a massive smile of my face! I'm grateful to the creators for linking toxic relationships and Vampirism. It's not a new concept, but they really put it in your face. Great to promote awareness in such a hilarious, gory fashion. Narcissistic Abuse is the closest you'll ever come to dealing with a "husk". A soulless, walking dead person who projects all their horrible energy on to you and sucks your happiness and joy out of you. Strong boundaries, self love and the ability to listen and reflect carefully are your garlic and crucifix with these predators! 🦇♥️

  • @truecrosscosplay841
    @truecrosscosplay841 Год назад +2

    It took me so long to finally stand up to the narcissist in my life. The hardest part was that he is my dad, and for years I thought that I was the problem, and that if I tried hard enough, he would love me and accept me, but it was never good enough. Many times, if I wanted to confront him about his behavior and try to stick up for myself while trying to mend the relationship, the conversation would turn into him complaining about how bad his life was and how it was actually my fault for the things that went wrong in his life. Eventually, with the help of therapy, I was able to finally have my own sit down with my dad, and I laid out my boundaries and expectations, and while our relationship is not perfect, I don't hate myself anymore over him. When he does something that upsets me, I understand that it is a choice he made, and I don't have to take ownership of it, and I don't think I could've had that power or control over my life without the best internet dads in the world! Thank you Alan and Jono for being amazing people one episode at a time! Ya'll are awesome! :) :)

  • @smookthecat
    @smookthecat Год назад +42

    Thank you, internet dads, for cheering me up after a bad school day. My parents are not home and my brother buisy so i am left to fend for myself, but thanks to you i feel a little better. Love you both

  • @aCoffeeWithKate
    @aCoffeeWithKate Год назад +7

    I know the Nicholas Cage "I am the real victim" scene is supposed to be funny but I think I actually have PTSD because that whole scene was terrifying to me, am I alone in this?

    • @sophiejones3554
      @sophiejones3554 Год назад +1

      I feel like that is a perfectly valid reaction for anyone who has been politically active in the last six years. President Trump is so clearly a narcissist, I've honestly begun to wonder whether other people with similar beliefs are as well. In any case, they seem to talk like narcissists. If you've just been dealing with a lot of Trumpists lately, that scene would probably feel less funny and more scary.

    • @BirgitProfessional
      @BirgitProfessional Год назад

      Yeah, that scene goes from kinda light-hearted with the blood cocktail and the mocking facial expressions from Cage to downright terrifying when he smashes the vase and starts screaming. So good!

  • @Driftercat
    @Driftercat Год назад +2

    Just realized that at some point Nicholas Hoult grew up into Hugh Grant. Either that or he intentionally channeled him into this movie. The floppy hair! The cadence! Mind blown.

  • @kobemarion1137
    @kobemarion1137 11 месяцев назад +2

    I'm happy to see people actually enjoying this film. I don't see the big issue that the critics see, whatever it is.

  • @evasl
    @evasl Год назад +8

    The accuracy of it all... it's perfect. This may be a movie that will help me see the narcissist as a joke instead of the threat and help me end the nightmares that still haunt me.

  • @beskarman38
    @beskarman38 Год назад +3

    This will be my homework for the day. I grew up with my narcissistic father which I always sees him as the "energy vampire" since i knew him for 43 years and counting, unfortunately. So I'm definitely a watch for me.

  • @puff_and_co
    @puff_and_co Год назад +37

    If you have the time I would love a video on finnick odair from hunger games because as a survivor of domestic sexual abuse I love and admire his character so much and his path through the hunger games as his arc really helps me cathartically
    Thank you @CinemaTherapy for all you do

  • @SevenEllen
    @SevenEllen Год назад +5

    I was so inspired by this movie, I started writing a book about Renfield and Dracula's relationship.

  • @Surftheweb_1
    @Surftheweb_1 Год назад +54

    I knew as soon as I heard the premise for this film, I was super curious about what you guys would think of it. Great video as always!

  • @MelissaEdwards86
    @MelissaEdwards86 Год назад +18

    I saw this movie Saturday and had so much fun! I already thought the framing of the Dracula/Renfield relationship as a co-dependent, narcissist relationship was such a fresh take. Then I saw a Biographics video on Bram Stoker right before going to see it. Come to find out that Stoker may have had his own codependent relationship with narcissist actor Henry Irving, and Dracula may have well been inspired partially by that relationship, so this movie is really more of a return to origin.

  • @darkbeauty44
    @darkbeauty44 Год назад +2

    The fact that this channel does spooky movies in the middle of the Spring Season is just ONE MORE REASON why I watch this channel so diligently.

  • @elaine4812
    @elaine4812 5 месяцев назад +1

    This past year in therapy, it was revealed to me that I'm a codependent. I'd never heard the term before and never even thought there was a word for my situation. I thought it was "just how things were." I struggled to learn and understand more about it, but it wasn't until I watched this movie that it all finally clicked. I ADORE this movie and can relate to it in so many ways. It truly helped me to see who the toxic relationships are in my life (both my parents), and how I have lived my whole life tending to their needs and wants. The entire scene where Nicholas Cage meets Renfield in his apartment struck me so hard that despite the humor in the scene, it brings me to tears. Especially Renfield's face as soon as he sees Dracula sitting in his safe space.
    It's so wonderful to see how appreciated this movie is. Thank you for doing this

  • @beast6213
    @beast6213 Год назад +41

    This episode was a delight (even more than usual)! Thanks internet dads 🤗

  • @leileibear981
    @leileibear981 Год назад +41

    I’m so happy I got to see this in theaters. It was so good in the fact that the movie encapsulated the real feelings of being in a codependent relationship as someone who got out of one myself that’s one thing I enjoyed most about it. And I knew you guys would cover this movie I’m so happy

  • @robinkholmes7127
    @robinkholmes7127 Год назад +2

    "Wha... that's so weird why would you fraise it like that? But yes!" Comedy gold.

  • @isobelduncan
    @isobelduncan Год назад +3

    I’ve heard people say Nick Cage is “too much” or “too over the top”, but personally I think he’s an underrated gem.

  • @Copper_Dragon07
    @Copper_Dragon07 Год назад +12

    I dealt with a narcissistic relationship for a year, and this one hits hard. I got out, but I wish I’d known then what I’m learning here now!

  • @local_cryptid
    @local_cryptid Год назад +4

    Im always shocked when Mustard Plug gets mentioned in a mainstream media setting because I keep forgetting it's not just some local band my dad's cousin used to be in 😅

  • @GrubStLodger
    @GrubStLodger 10 месяцев назад

    What I loved, it that it was a whole story in 90 minutes. So many films flop the story and take three hours.

  • @SevenEllen
    @SevenEllen Год назад +2

    I know the "No! No! No! No! No! No!" Dracula delivers here is comical due to how Cage says it, but it's also a very effective way of showing Dracula stopping Renfield having a voice.

  • @KyCandicee
    @KyCandicee Год назад +9

    I thoroughly enjoyed this movie surprisingly. The message of it being “I am enough” was comically and very well put through :)

  • @janettewong9900
    @janettewong9900 Год назад +21

    It’s relatable that Renfield was clearly not a great person before he became a vampire but Dracula is clearly being shitty and manipulative about it
    It’s completely feasible that Renfield was directionless, weak-willed, and abandoned his family because of these character flaws but he’s not the victim in the relationship between him and Dracula

  • @trishapellis
    @trishapellis Год назад +5

    During "The scene", where Renfield starts saying that stuff about how hard it is to be undead after leafing through the book, at least I immediately understood that he'd reached a chapter on trying to be empathetic to the other person. I guess you have to know a bit about this stuff for that to click maybe, but it's obvious to me.

  • @jaybrittain2428
    @jaybrittain2428 11 месяцев назад +2

    Was in a toxic relationship with my grandfather, who owned the house my mother, sister and I lived in. I guess he never really got to know me, because one day I finally decided to stand up for myself and after about 30 min of me just not taking his shit, he started threatening to make my sister, her son, and our mother homeless, and I'd have to live with their hardship being my fault. I shut up, let him finish, told him I needed a minute, went back to my sister and my mother, convinced them (my sister at least) to leave, then moved. The whole issue that made me finally stop taking it was that he wanted me to dump my (then boyfriend) and find a "nice white guy" (he could pick one for me!) I recently had a nice chuckel when my (now) husband told me he reached out to see if I'd be interested in letting him back into my life and my husband just said "who are you? No one important to her is my guess" and then blocked him.

  • @chocolatesugar-lovage9678
    @chocolatesugar-lovage9678 Год назад +11

    I just finished watching the movie and I absolutely loved it! Right up there with Everything Everywhere All At Once! This channel, among others, helped me understand myself and pushed me to seek therapy. I felt my emotions choking me up when he was standing up to Dracula and when his group got attacked. His character arc is so beautiful and I understand what he's going thru. We all need to have support once we realize we need help. I hope everyone is practicing self-care this month and every month. Thank you Internet Dads for everything.

  • @gabrielakrist11
    @gabrielakrist11 Год назад +4

    who would ever thought that this new take of Count Dracula as narcissistic abuser would hit us so much in the face with how realistic people are dealing with narcissistic abuse irl?? ☹ I was expecting that this movie would give me some stress reliefs with its horror comedy and comical acting of the actors but watching this movie made me feel so uncomfortable with how co-dependency & toxic relationship was depicted ☹ daaammnn... it hits right here in the feels

  • @Qegixar
    @Qegixar Год назад +2

    In the theater I was thinking to myself "I can't wait to see the Cinema Therapy episode on this." Glad it came so quickly.

  • @GRA5S
    @GRA5S Год назад +1

    Nic Cage said in an interview that his type of acting is expressionism. This kind of movie and character is a perfect fit for his acting style tbh.

  • @connergraham1522
    @connergraham1522 Год назад +8

    Just a side note, the bat transformation that you labeled as being from " The House of Dracula" is actually from the film "Abbott and Costello meet Frankenstein", it's one of my favorites in the Universal Monsters lineup due to the fact that it was Bela Lugosi's last time in his role as Dracula.

  • @banxeescreems3337
    @banxeescreems3337 Год назад +13

    Love the modern segway from a classic novel that pivots the voice of a maligned character! Narcissism is such a crushing and controlling force and finding self-worth and love is just the beginning to healing. I love both Nick/Nich’s and will definitely see this in theaters! Love something that’s campy and chock-full of psychologically relevant lessons.

  • @BellaOfBaritone526
    @BellaOfBaritone526 Год назад +6

    I can't wait til this releases in my country. My last relationship was with a manipulative narcissist (made even worse by the fact I have BPD so she just *loved* to manipulate my emotional dysregulation and weaponize my fear of abandonment to control me), and even just the trailer showed me so many parallels that I was immediately like "I HAVE TO SEE THIS MOVIE." Bonus points for being a Dracula movie, since I've always been super into vampire stuff, even since I was a kid, and I'm a fan of Nicholas Cage's acting. He always goes super dramatic with his performances and it makes things so much more memorable.

  • @sapphirejade5029
    @sapphirejade5029 Год назад +4

    For me, the movie felt absolutely cathartic because I've been with a few narcissistic people from time to time. Just seeing Renfield made me absolutely satisfied and made me go higher than what I expected.

  • @IndigoBowe
    @IndigoBowe Год назад +10

    I had a narcissistic best friend throughout high school. I let him get away with so much, and it felt like no one else but my family could see how manipulative he was. I felt like I was trapped and experiencing bullying in high school as well, I didn't want to be on my own as a target. In year 12, when I finally stood up for myself, breaking up my friendship group in the process, I learnt who and what real friends are. I got away from him because school ended. The way you handled this video with such care means so much to me so thank you ❤❤

    • @eh.440
      @eh.440 Год назад +2

      I'm so, so, sorry that happened to you. It never should have happened and you didnt deserve it. It takes a special kind of strength of character to break out of a friendship like that during such a turbulent and isolating age/ life season. You did amazing by recognizing it and finding the inner strength to get out and face hostility from your peers.

    • @IndigoBowe
      @IndigoBowe Год назад

      @@eh.440 thank you so so much for those kind words

  • @MrThierryFournier
    @MrThierryFournier Год назад +3

    I’m literally coming out of the theatre watching this. And the only thing I was thinking was “I can’t wait for Cinema Therapy to get a go on this movie.”

  • @afreaknamedallie1707
    @afreaknamedallie1707 Год назад +1

    I went to see this last week with two people currently in ska/ska adjacent bands--one of whom I met at a ska show where their band was playing--and with an old HS friend who likes to tease me over my ska preferences and the ongoing ska bit in this movie was so hilarious to us that our row in the theater was just dying for minutes. Props just for that gag.
    After that, this movie was great as someone who grew up with a narcissistic parent. I loved it both for its B movie camp and for it's amazingly well done commentary on dealing with those kinds of relationships. Also Cage seriously did a phenomenal job. And I must shout out the costume director's detail on Renfield's initial out! OMG the visible patching and mending was so deliciously well done, I genuinely expect some of costube will bring it up.

  • @dakotahe.4166
    @dakotahe.4166 Год назад +4

    Cage was INCREDIBLE in this movie!!!❤❤❤ My theater was laughing at the beginning of the apartment scene then dead silent towards the end. I was terrified and amused in the weirdest way!

  • @partipatil
    @partipatil Год назад +3

    Honestly, I have to agree with the decision to not put the title cards during that second scene. The scene was played a little for laughs, sure, but it was still a very TENSE and TERRIFYING scene. Putting the title cards would have taken the audience out of that intensity and downplayed just how real and frightening that situation is. That was a good call.

  • @jessicakakern4571
    @jessicakakern4571 Год назад +4

    I really enjoyed this movie coming from a abusive relationship I don't like to think about. It felt nice to have some comedy but when dracula went to his meeting and the camera showed just those two, it felt so familiar that feeling that they are the only person at the end of day which is so bad. It was portrayed perfectly. This movie deserves much more credit!

  • @cameoe805
    @cameoe805 Год назад +1

    I wish this movie was doing better at the box office. I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. Watching it play out in this manner was pretty healing. It hit the truth enough to make me uncomfortable during the apartment scene. But it was funny enough that I was able to enjoy it.

  • @CarmenT1978
    @CarmenT1978 5 месяцев назад +1

    I was in an abusive marriage... This movie is spot on.