Sexual Conflict in Human Mating | David Buss | TEDxVienna
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- Опубликовано: 16 июл 2024
- If we all want love, why is there so much conflict on the mating market and in our most cherished relationships? Sexual conflict pervades the mating arena prior to sex, after a mating relationship has formed, and in the aftermath of a romantic breakup. Love has a central place in human sexual psychology, but conflict and exploitation pervade human mating - something we must all confront in order to control our own mating destiny. American psychologist David M. Buss is a leading researcher and author in the field of evolutionary psychology and human sex differences in partner selection. The 2005/2016 book The Handbook of Evolutionary Psychology, edited by Buss, is considered the definitive text on the subject. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
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its so funny how the women are constantly laughing and clapping and the men are just staring
Why do you think that is?
Their game is up
Men are romantics
David Buss is not just An evolutionary psychologist, he is THE evolutionary psychologist. He is one of the founders of the entire field!
Best comment here, thank you
yes sir! go mgtow
Thomas Richardson exactly. Evolutionary Theory!!!
Along with Cosmides and Tooby...
He's my professor for one of my classes this semester, one of the best professors I've had so far :D
“ They think they’re hot, but they’re not” lol
When my girlfriend at the time started college, one of her classes was Evolutionary psychology and David Buss had written the book she had for that class...reading that completely opened my eyes
Is she still with you?
@@shishram163good question 😂😂😂
@@shishram163 lmao TRU
Wow, it's a lot easier to get a stranger to go on a date than I'd have thought!
When they say no, it's hard. When they say yes, it's easy.
Because they probably used very physically attractive people to ask those strangers out
@@kiralight6661 this whole entire study was absolutely manipulated by the human male to feed his ego nothing more than that this guy's nothing but a bullshitter
One of the very few TED Talks that deserves to have millions of views, and of course it doesn't have them
"Don't smile at your stalker."
Yeah...I'm taking notes. Lol
Are you a girl
Someone give this guy a beer!
@@pratiktembhekar1996 true
@@pratiktembhekar1996 this sems 90% blue pill, 10% red pill to br honest, alot of man bashing here
@@corysmith3447maybe hes a Simp?
@@corysmith3447
You are right !
he was very annoying with that !
Why?
Pragmatic/Realistic psychology is my favorite type of psychology. It invalidates most ideological views over the subject in a heartbeat.
This is actual science. That's why.
Dr Buss’s lecture is so interesting and makes logical sense. At the same time, had me laughing as he’s so entertaining.
Boy, he ain't kiddin'. Men see what they want to see, and they are wrong 90% of the time. This is why women live in fear; they can't even be nice to someone without aggression. Definition of aggression: forcing someone to do what they don't want to, on any level, especially when you have willfully ignored what they are telling you.
Oh my God! By far one of the very few genuinely beneficial videos among all the TED videos! Absolutely love it!
Hey… I’m with you here ! 👍
Men in the audience are not really surprised and kind of depressed. Women were laughing and surprised in the beginning but by the end they were shocked to know their own realilty
I was there live. By far the most hilarious talk!
Yawn
That's awesome! How much were the tickets? I want to attend a TED Talk someday.
Cool 👍. How much did it cost ?
David Buss is always incredible
This was such a useful and insightful video! 🙏
Men find them in more conflits because they are responsible for the pursuit, often correlated through misunderstanding.
One of the best TED talks!
This man is just absoultely inspiring, it makes me think about maybe becoming a psychologist one day
This was insightful.
Gem of a psychologist great communication and presentation.
I met my wife when she was 14 yrs old, married 6yrs later. Happily married for 40 yrs.. I guess I am abnormal.
Profoundly abnormal, no doubt. And (as long as this society keeps going in the same direction as it does nowadays) you´ll be getting more, and more, abnormal with each passing day.
It depends on how old you were when you met her...🤔
Check the Dna of your kids.
@@accurategamer7085 Done, no issues. We are all connected in our family tree.
@@Steelhorsecowboy noic3
WORTH WATCHING! So right on. Very good.
Excellent presentation!
You mean penetretion
Thank u Dr. David sir giving us such a grt information
Best Tedtalk ever!
Men cheat once or for a short term when they get an opportunity.
Women have the long term affair.
with whom? other women? xd
He didn't state it as an absolute this was based on statistics of a controlled group
Literally a common trope that the man cheats and lives his wife for a new woman and relationship. This trope simply doesn’t exist for women. It’s not solid data but we both know this trope which says enough. You sound silly.
@@user-fy1uo6ou4sI should’ve just read your comment because you destroyed their logic so succinctly. Even if you consider only single women this would mean women often have short term relationships too lmao.
One of the best Ted talk i watched! Thanks David Buss😊
Great talk, Professor David Buss. Thank you.
When parents give THE talk to their children, it should be along those lines. It could save their life, or at least their happiness. Mating is a very practical matter, but it is often presented in an useless way.
Very informative
3:03 dude was not having it
Because he knows he's a 4 out of 10 and the resultant implications are grave.
Straight up one the most intriguing talks.
4:57 that dude not applauding in the middle, amazing x)
thank you
So good,so true!!!
Great talk!
yes sir
Well, this was a lot of insightful stuff about mating, and that's very important, but partnering up for life is also about sharing and nurturing. Having some common interests and values. 2 people can *reinforce* each other that way, with each one having the other's happiness at heart.
Someone give this man a medal.
Man of the year
I'd automatically think I was being pranked.
We are basically not compatible at all. Not surprising.
Makes me never want to get married and have kids.
@Language and Programming Channel Marriages are very normal in a society.
It is basically the way society balances the wants of both sexes inter and intra competition.
@@ikengaspirit3063 he said marriages are not natural not that they’re not normal- which is true
@@emilian7052 Even Hunter Gather societies tend to have some sort of pair bonding. The breaks from that tend to be in highly ritualized contexts.
Maybe Marriage as the West does it now is "unnatural" but the basic thing taht when it appears in other cultures we will call "marriage" is.
@Language and Programming Channel Idk bruv they be jeolousy out there so idk how Harems are normal
The best way I can describe it is a polyamourus but monogamous society. Monogamous only when humans see a key factor of a beneficial long term partner and polyamourus only on the occasion.
In my mind it's the only right thing to do. It's all too shallow and unreliable. Why would I risk my time and emotional investemnt in a person that can decide to leave at any point? Also why would I do the same to someone else? It's very cruel and I don't feel like participating in the game at all.
Nature is pretty cruel.
Smart man. I wish he'd be more blunt about these facts but I realize it's necessary for him to water down the truth to appeal to the audience.
Evo psychology meets comedy lol. Great informative talk
Sir, your "Evolution of Desire" changed my (vision of) life. It should (not) be studied at school.
Wdy wanna say dude
Is florida really a good statistical representation?
Even worse, Floridian college students.
I believe this study has been replicated across multiple cultures witch consistent results. If you're interested, do a google search on it.
Over perception bias I would argue is a natural component of the mating process given the obvious numbers men must pursue in order to achieve what they desire.
This is so interesting.
Extra interesting Ted talk! ✨😯👏🏼
This guy is my professor!
Brilliant
I've never cheated, but I've been cheated on by at least half of my girlfriends. So either the women are lying about whether they are cheating, or I'm really good at wooing women out of my league who then proceed to realize that fact.
Definitely lying.
Keep in mind Buss is a sophisticated liar.
@Status DMG Like I said Buss and his followers are just aggrandized teenage boys who push the same "biotruth" narrative to rationalize their immaturity.
Probably the last one, own experience can never be taken as representative for a national or international standard. Sorry that happened to you tho.
I think it’s a personal issue and also cultural.
Thanks
Curious, what is this business about someone being an "8" wanting "10's"? Where does Prof. Buss have a list of these rankings and the definition of what constitutes an "8" or a "10" and so forth? Would appreciate help if someone could direct me to a book or essay the Professor has written about this subject.
just a quick informal way to explain the much more complex concept of people having different mate values, he doesn't use it in his research
@@Johnny_Savage Well then, your statement begs the question, who is a "10" and who's not. Buss states that "10's" are more likely to cheat on a mate that is not a "10", so it might be helpful to know who you're hooking up with.
I also have to say that this guy has a unique talent for pointing out the obvious: After reams and reams of research, he concludes that rich men are more attractive to women. Jeeves, quick! My smelling salts! Something a lot of hapless males have known for centuries.
Usually in studies regarding attractiveness, there is one or one group of researchers who assigns these ratings (1-10) to all individuals in the study, following some metric. Dr David Buss' book The Evolution of Desire might be a good place to start.
it's not that deep bro
It's impossible to discern that bc people have different predernces. Part of the absurdity of the entire thing. I mean ranking people into numbers like this should make anyone uncompfortable without the point that it's bs in acccuracy but okay
My Word
This is precisely why religious courtship is important
This talk is: a) hopefully BS b) even if not should be treated as such
@@catsaresocute650 delusional. seek help.
@@HeroinChrist how is it delusional? For f* sake go out and meet some humans
Right...believing that Muhammad flew to the moon on a winged horse and that God killed dozens of children for mocking a bald man is a fantastic foundation for a reciprocating relationship. (Sarcasm.)
less data stability and academical work than my fking bachelors lol
Best in the business
I don't hear anything funny, and don't understand why people are laughing like they're at stand up comedy. Very valuable information for us ladies. Be extremely discerning in your mate selection.
Brilliance
I don't get people laughing and thinking that is a joke. It's a real life science and biology mechanisms
Laughing at the pain, breaking down of society.
I think they laugh because it's not a joke and that makes it funny
Isn't the term Branch-Swinging.
Princesses that are more Tarzan then Jane
Curious...if the threat of violence and death could be removed, how many women would say yes? How about adjusting for social shaming?
That why commitment is a bad strategy for men, short term relationship is the way.
yes sir
And how to you want to preserve you culture and create a Family?
Maximus
You use a surrogate mother of your race, and you raise your children yourself.
kagetsuki23 Poor children growing up without parents.
Only without mom. No big deal.
Shoutout to the Fresh and Fit super chatter that recommended him coming on the show! I second that🔥 FnF gang mark the register👇
2:57 literally me 💀
How is this only @ 200K views?????
At times the audience looks decidedly uncomfortable. Partially I think this is because he's opening up some home truths that we'd rather not hear, but I think reducing the mating process to some cold, scientific cost/benefit analysis leaves out a crucial, for want of a better word, spiritual component. I think people intuitively feel these theories are incomplete, and in some way demean what it means to be human.
Yeah, but that's because humans are not fully awake and aware, nor is there much wisdom, or pure love. Most Humans don't really properly know what love is.
I don't see how women being armed with the knowledge of evolutionary theory to help them avoid men with dark triad traits and avoid abuse/stalking is demeaning.
@@BeardLAD wtf?
Dayum he be Bussin’
What about excitement?
full red pil content..
What does "red pill" mean?
Juan Torres being aware of the truth.
@Hard Truth
And just as importantly, who yourself are. Not what society tells you to be.
@@JuanTorres-ny9ff Watch Matrix.
You won't learn from the matrix, you gotta go on reddit and look for the red pill.
I feel that this catches just one small part of the entire man-woman relationship topic. It lacks the psychoanalytic aspect, which is fundamental.
Because there's no scientific basis to psychoanalysis a la Freud.
It lacks, among other things, the aspect where humans are free thinking and feeling SENTIENT beings, not un-concious beings running a biology programm.
too bad that he didn't address mate guarding and paternity uncertainty. that 2-3% false paternity rate sounds dubious, given the large minority of women, per one study, who admitted they would conceal outside paternity from their partner.
the 2-6% has been confirmed objectively by large genetic studies on contemporary populations at least.
Exactly, but what he didn't address is that modern women have the pill, so you wouldn't expect the rate to be big at all. But given the data, it's more likely that his hypothesis is correct.
David Buss forgot to take into account factors of the civilization, when he talked about that 2-3%. Remove all the constrains civilization puts on women like morality, laws, commonly accepted rules, fear of shaming... and that 2-3% goes up to at least 20-30%.
Wouldn't be much suprised if it were even more.
Good genes hypothesis or the dual mating strategy is real.
Sono Tom -
A CDC study showed that approx 30% of live births were to fathers who were NOT the genetic parent.
The true rate of paternity fraud on the part of women is at least 30 percent. That's right, one out of three kids are the product of adultery on the part of the wife or paternity fraud.
In my teens I always had two backups. There were always two suitable second choices who would show up if I called. You must have that.
Ew
Truth
Look up the main videos that give advice for how to tell a girls into you. Every video I've watched says it's absolutely a sign she wants you if she touches your arm lol
It explains why so many men think like that.
Hook up culture is the main culture, dating is not even a thing anymore. So defining a date in the modern atmosphere would be tough at best. I think Netflix and chill is far more prominent today than out on a formal date for dinner
This is your Overperception Bias talking.
If this does not red pill you then nothing will.
Um this is the most BLUEPILLED (men bad women good) video I've seen, theres nothing red pill about this, accept for vaguely elluding to women's hypergamy
The way women treated me have red pilled me quite enough to no longer want them.
Thank god! I'm safe.
@Heliotail With that attitude, women don't want you either, so...
Even I'm pretty sure the investigation was made by experts, I found really hard to trust women's results. You trust her actions, not her words.
I didn't know Gary Busey was this smart
"She's not "yours", it's just your turn."
MGTOW
Yes sir
Dreaming Music
A hard truth.
She is yours for as long as you stay a desirable man, if she leaves you it's either because you lucked out with her in the first place or your just not a good man, at least anymore.
+Create Channel
pfffft [snort] Let me guess; you're either a woman, or a man under the age of 25 who has never been divorce-ra ped.
I would another person be yours??
the audience laughed at so much stuff that is actually really sad
...Backups?
I bet you sweated with your cereal joke! Ha 🤣
People laughing at the strangest things...
>> One guy threatened all the guys in her life until there were none left!
>> Hahaha
The big question is: are we born with this characteristics , or is it something we develop? Now men can say: Look, every men look at other womans so it's normal. Is it?
It is normal. Our dna is hardwired to mate with the youngest or healthiest looking individual. Which is the same case with women. Women also check out handsome young powerful men. Men check out young, healthy and "motherly" women. Its basically our DNA trying to survive in any way possible.
QuantumButthole women don’t look for youth in men, they actually prefer older men, specifically 7 years older on average.
@@Chris-T4 but not because they look old!
These characteristics are biological but we can control the degree in which we let them influence our lives. There are both polygamous and monogamous cultures for example.
there isn't the one and only partner. the oneitis is an personality disorder.
Красавчик!🥸
Vienna, huh??? Freud would of loved this :)
Not really, Freuds teacher, Schoppenhauer would had destroyed that guy...
@@attackhelicopter7403 Didn't know Arthur Schopenhauer was Freud's "teacher". And who is that guy?? You talking about David Buss? Lol
Nah not literally, but Freud was a big fan of Schopenhauers books and theories
Let’s not forget about Karl Gustav Jung
It's like studying a species, the way a scientist would study rats, rabbit etc behavior the types of test done can be endless to come to a complete or near complete conclusion. Can we really say, people are capable of studying their own species knowing that their are boundaries?
Yes. Cold hard information and data is observable. The boundaries you are referring to have to do with philosophy/metaphysics, which is not the same thing as science.
@@GrubKiller436 It can be done, for sure. But should we really do it (going over ALL boundaries)? And for this we need philosophy. Otherwise pure utilitarianism will turn our scientists into little Dr Mengele, like we see now in China.
I want a rain check
These people will listen to this talk, go home and forget about it and continue to live their lives in their usual bluepilled ways
Probably because the truth, as Buss outlines, is extremely uncomfortable: the more you love your spouse, the more she/he is likely to abandon you.
he tells very women-friendly; you have also to see the hypergamie dating-strategy of women and their changing dating-strategy when getting over about 25 years.
6.20 girl with glasses. She been called out. felt that one. took it on the chin tho haha
So in yet again, men are bad, women good? Gotcha.
man of the dark triad (mass murerers for example) are for many women unconscious attractive for women (evolutinary psychology). they seem confrontational and aggressive for them.
Buss is a boss. Maximum respect. Pure pimpage... Selecta~
David Buss: so when it comes to women, its complicated.
B
Has anyone been keeping track of Mr. 3:03?