I cried so much listening to this video. I think i haven’t cried this much for so long. Thank you. I’m still figuring out when to block him and it’s really hard, i have to say.
I wrote a poem I was discarded in the very worst way, I found out about the new supply 3 months after and it had been going on for sometime, she was denied. I had to suffer all the insults and the put downs about how bad I was and everything wrong with me.. it was just so painful.. so I wrote this poem The one that tried to destroy selfworth Slowly slowly the life’s spirit is taken away, day by day you remain and stay. Thinking good and love the goal, the one you love ebbs your soul. Thats wrong I am right, thats bad not good is just the aim to change what stood. Quick to judge and words to harm, intention is to spoil whats calm. Never we achieve to make the grade, casting doubt and erode what’s made. Bitterness and bad word slipped in, to change the innocence mind within. Using words to cloud the view, turning facts with things not true. Constantly on the guard for being praised, which could give confidence to he who slaved. Insistence to break the will, worth and self belief, aiming spite to crush when weak. Lots to say when things go wrong, evil words and moods last long. Some regret for over reaction but never bowing to apology or detraction. Sometimes quite when told to cease, but not for long as they have no peace. Jealous, suspicion, doubt and lies, smiling face behind it cries. Good ones come to be their friends, but spoilt with familiarity, cruel words it ends. My opinion is their cry, I have to say I cannot lie. Feelings saddened by this brash way, to which kind people dare not say. Leaving friends, family and those so close, scared and hurt with words so gross., Inflicting damage and bending minds , sapping life from which they find. Others with family and loving home, fall foul to criticism, with words to moan. Sometimes kind and showing heart , some tear to show their part. Don’t be fooled there’s venom still and being up close they strike at will. Even your own flesh and blood, believing stories saying bad not good. Until the time their minds their own, realising the truth was not at home. The spiteful one with bad to say, with be found out in time one day. Waiting time, your children grow, to see the truth and love once more.
My mother is a narcissist. She has done so much damage in my life. I am trying to heal. Heal myself, my marriage and my children. My mother is an evil woman. My entire life seems distorted. That's what's so confusing. As a child, I was a "truther". Sadly, I learned really quick that the truth had to be a secret. Question, does a narcissist know that they are narcissistic? My therapist said, "I've never met your mother, but she scares the hell out of me"
Thank you Petra. I am 61 years old and grew up in a highly narcissistic family which included incest. Recently I walked away from a narcissistic friend and am done. Have been silent and reflecting on why I was attracted to this friend. I am an empath and am starting to finally put the puzzle pieces together and am embracing self love and honouring my inner child. It has been a very long journey with lots of twists and turns. Thank you I value your information!
Hi Lorena, I'm 61 too & just ended a very painful & passionate 12 year relationship with my former therapist & my 2 sons' therapist. I am in deep grief though I know he's toxic, invalidating, diminishing, rageful- especially when I don't meet his sexual needs- pathologising and unsupportive, cruel, yet still "adores" me. I moved out 3 years ago but have kept going back His hypocrisy & lack.of support during lockdown has been the final straw & I have gone into my grief and healing now. There's no going back- I have finally woken up! Bracing myself for the painful journey 😖😢
Thank you so much for your kind words, Petra! Today, I was feeling a bit down about my past friendship with a narcissistic person whom I truly cared for. I've been reflecting on this situation that occurred almost two years ago, and at times, I contemplate making amends. However, this video provided the validation I needed to maintain my distance and never look back. Since cutting off contact, my life has improved significantly. I no longer carry that heavy burden, even though occasional waves of regret and thoughts like "Am I being too harsh?" resurface. Your content always brings clarity to my mind, allowing me to persevere. Once again, thank you, Petra! Your content and expertise are genuinely appreciated 💛.
Denial is a dangerous acknowledgment make us whole again , it’s so unbelievable that a human can be so dark and sadistic , Also thanks for the well wishes for those of us in the US during this Presidential Election tensions are very high .a
I've been hurting in pain for years and It feels like it's gotten worse after my narcissist ex girlfriend cheated and broke up with me in March 2019. I've had back pains, shoulder pains, nerve pains and my immune system hasn't been the same. I deal with four mental health disorders and my family, friends don't help at all. This video has been opening my eyes. Thank you very much for this. This is very helpful.
I can very much relate to your somatic symptoms induced by narcissistic abuse. I've been trying to understand how emotions impact our physical health. According to Dr.Gabor Mate, emotional trauma is the beginning of an illness. I had recently a confrontation with my narc father and after that I had been bedbound for 2 weeks because of backpain. However, he had to know that I know how he sadistically indulges in inflicting subtle emotional pain in people. I know it's against the "guidelines" of psychotherapists to play open cards with a narcissist. But he is my father and I had to speak out my truth with my Mum as a witness. I finally can emotionally detach from their toxic marriage. No more toxic family holidays for me. It's going to be lonely for a while, so what? It's always been lonely anyway. I really hope you get better soon🙋🐻🍉🍓🍊
@@EWAMILENAP emotional trauma is the beginning of an illness?? Oh shit..... Well I've started to turn my life around slowly but surely. I've decided to get back into fighting and practicing African martial arts and reviewing my plans to repatriate to Africa (As an African American Man it's my duty to my Ancestors). That's another reason Ive been really upset. Last summer I was supposed to go to Africa and my family ruined it and I didn't go(personally I think my mom sabotaged it on purpose because I had to get to D.C to catch my flight. Not far from Delaware and I couldn't make it. She goes with her friends to Jamaica by riding all the way to Florida. Hours away. Running late and makes her trip and has fun. Smh). But I've been trying to fix my life for the better and the MMA and traditional African war arts used to help before I stopped...big helping factor with my four mental health disorders....so I wanna get back to doing them soon. Had to recover from surgery but I'm fine so I'm starting everything over again. And I don't deal with them since we all moved in with my big bro but once my life Is back on track I'm outta here and Africa here I come. Thank you for sharing your story. Very helpful and informative Oh yeah you're doing it right by getting away from the toxic relatives and toxic friends. They're the worst.
@@atakazulu These mountains that we are carrying on our shoulders, we are only supposed to climb. N.Zebian Please listen to a song by Bronski Beat - Smalltown Boy. After reading your touching story, the song above resonated with me. Your life is yours and noone elses, dear atakazulu👼👼👼
@@EWAMILENAP as your story resignates with me as well. And I did watch the video. Felt bad for the guy. Glad he found friends in the end of the video. At times though I relate the emotional pain to taming a beast inside. You keep it tamed so no one gets hurt but instead by not releasing the pain it's making you sick. First mentally. Second spiritually. Third physically. Smh still trying to wrap my head around the fact there are better days ahead and there's a nice girl out there for me. I know there are great things coming. Just have to break free from the dark cloud. But like she said in the video. Gotta acknowledge the pain and go through it to get better. That's why for me I need to personally get back to doing what I love: competitive Martial arts. I also noticed when I stopped doing that(family sabotage) I started losing sanity
@@atakazulu My Mum convinced me to get a psychotherapy and literally 16 sessions heped me to turn my dark, gloomy, depressive thoughts into slightly brighter, less painful ones. Please, Atakazulu, try to do something completely different for once, even if you have doubts at first, to get a totally new, surprisingly positive outcome! It has taken me years of taking medication, major surgery, relationship dramas, divorce and a ton of mental abuse in the meantime to come to a simple conclusion that had I started a psychotherapy mych earlier, I would have saved my body and my mind lots of unnecessary pain a distress. But at the time I had countless excuses not to and the truth is, I didn't feel worthy of getting professional help of a psychotherapy. You have amazing energy! Lots of hugs from U.K. 🍎🍐🍏🍍🥥🥝🍓
I truly needed this..and I'm healing I've been Healing for a while now. I'm so ready for this healing to be over...but I understand that it is a process.
Hi Petra .. thank you so much for your video, you’re such a kind person to share this valuable knowledge with us, sad people (at least for now), I want to thank you for sharing your peaceful energy and kind words. I will do my best to be calm and move on slowly and make myself happy.
Thank you so much for addressing my question Petra. As always you’ve done so very eloquently and clearly and in a way that really resonates with me . Therapy and coaching has helped me massively but it is something that’s a constant work in progress. Lots of love and respect to you for sharing such helpful advice with us all ❤️
Great to hear dirk g the holidays. Because while I have forgiven my parents and accept they were abused themselves I still do not want them in my new home. It’s my sanctuary of peace for my daughters and I. The one space I’ve been able to live in my truth. I’m fine with visiting them for short periods but I no longer will be hosting them in my home because I realize now that I only owe them is respect. But loving myself means respecting what my mind and body warn me against. This was very helpful to put words to how I feel after realizing I was raised by narcissist and codependent then married one too. I’m 6 months separated and in a new city away from them all where I control the interactions. My dad actually just showed up a couple weeks ago without calling and I had to let him know that was not ok and he left. I was so proud of myself.
Heyyyyy Petra, it's always lovely to see you on my RUclips feed. Thank you for making this video, it addresses so many important things at so many levels. ❤
Bless you Ankje, you were surrounded by family who were self soothing their own trauma & couldn't give you the love you deserved. You DO deserve to be loved for who you are!🤗💖 Love and care for and trust yourself ! You CAN heal and be happy 🎉🤗XXX
Distorted love can come from many angles. In the case of the narcissist, it's conscious behaviour. They can be responsible but they choose not to be. That's where the poison has it's roots.
Just remember every time they put you down is from their own INSECURITIES. They see you confident...so they try to humiliate you.
I cried so much listening to this video. I think i haven’t cried this much for so long. Thank you. I’m still figuring out when to block him and it’s really hard, i have to say.
Take back your life and inherent power NOW! Wishing you continued strength and courage ❤
I wrote a poem I was discarded in the very worst way, I found out about the new supply 3 months after and it had been going on for sometime, she was denied. I had to suffer all the insults and the put downs about how bad I was and everything wrong with me.. it was just so painful.. so I wrote this poem
The one that tried to destroy selfworth
Slowly slowly the life’s spirit is taken away, day by day you remain and stay. Thinking good and love the goal, the one you love ebbs your soul.
Thats wrong I am right, thats bad not good is just the aim to change what stood.
Quick to judge and words to harm, intention is to spoil whats calm.
Never we achieve to make the grade, casting doubt and erode what’s made.
Bitterness and bad word slipped in, to change the innocence mind within.
Using words to cloud the view, turning facts with things not true.
Constantly on the guard for being praised, which could give confidence to he who slaved.
Insistence to break the will, worth and self belief, aiming spite to crush when weak.
Lots to say when things go wrong, evil words and moods last long.
Some regret for over reaction but never bowing to apology or detraction.
Sometimes quite when told to cease, but not for long as they have no peace.
Jealous, suspicion, doubt and lies, smiling face behind it cries.
Good ones come to be their friends, but spoilt with familiarity, cruel words it ends.
My opinion is their cry, I have to say I cannot lie. Feelings saddened by this brash way, to which kind people dare not say.
Leaving friends, family and those so close, scared and hurt with words so gross.,
Inflicting damage and bending minds , sapping life from which they find.
Others with family and loving home, fall foul to criticism, with words to moan.
Sometimes kind and showing heart , some tear to show their part.
Don’t be fooled there’s venom still and being up close they strike at will.
Even your own flesh and blood, believing stories saying bad not good.
Until the time their minds their own, realising the truth was not at home.
The spiteful one with bad to say, with be found out in time one day.
Waiting time, your children grow, to see the truth and love once more.
My mother is a narcissist. She has done so much damage in my life. I am trying to heal. Heal myself, my marriage and my children. My mother is an evil woman. My entire life seems distorted. That's what's so confusing. As a child, I was a "truther". Sadly, I learned really quick that the truth had to be a secret. Question, does a narcissist know that they are narcissistic? My therapist said, "I've never met your mother, but she scares the hell out of me"
Processing and embracing the emotions is key. I just started doing that after so many, many years.
Thank you Petra. I am 61 years old and grew up in a highly narcissistic family which included incest. Recently I walked away from a narcissistic friend and am done. Have been silent and reflecting on why I was attracted to this friend. I am an empath and am starting to finally put the puzzle pieces together and am embracing self love and honouring my inner child. It has been a very long journey with lots of twists and turns. Thank you I value your information!
Hi Lorena, I'm 61 too & just ended a very painful & passionate 12 year relationship with my former therapist & my 2 sons' therapist. I am in deep grief though I know he's toxic, invalidating, diminishing, rageful- especially when I don't meet his sexual needs- pathologising and unsupportive, cruel, yet still "adores" me. I moved out 3 years ago but have kept going back
His hypocrisy & lack.of support during lockdown has been the final straw & I have gone into my grief and healing now. There's no going back- I have finally woken up! Bracing myself for the painful journey 😖😢
@@LUV733 Love yourself and enter Relationship with Men who love themselves. Surround yourself with Positive people! 😍
@@CrystalDatingCoach Thank you for your encouraging message ❤
@@LUV733 My pleasure. Surround yourself with Positive people and eliminate everything Toxic!
Thank you so much for your kind words, Petra! Today, I was feeling a bit down about my past friendship with a narcissistic person whom I truly cared for. I've been reflecting on this situation that occurred almost two years ago, and at times, I contemplate making amends. However, this video provided the validation I needed to maintain my distance and never look back. Since cutting off contact, my life has improved significantly. I no longer carry that heavy burden, even though occasional waves of regret and thoughts like "Am I being too harsh?" resurface. Your content always brings clarity to my mind, allowing me to persevere. Once again, thank you, Petra! Your content and expertise are genuinely appreciated 💛.
Denial is a dangerous acknowledgment make us whole again , it’s so unbelievable that a human can be so dark and sadistic , Also thanks for the well wishes for those of us in the US during this Presidential Election tensions are very high .a
I've been hurting in pain for years and It feels like it's gotten worse after my narcissist ex girlfriend cheated and broke up with me in March 2019. I've had back pains, shoulder pains, nerve pains and my immune system hasn't been the same. I deal with four mental health disorders and my family, friends don't help at all.
This video has been opening my eyes. Thank you very much for this. This is very helpful.
I can very much relate to your somatic symptoms induced by narcissistic abuse. I've been trying to understand how emotions impact our physical health. According to Dr.Gabor Mate, emotional trauma is the beginning of an illness. I had recently a confrontation with my narc father and after that I had been bedbound for 2 weeks because of backpain. However, he had to know that I know how he sadistically indulges in inflicting subtle emotional pain in people. I know it's against the "guidelines" of psychotherapists to play open cards with a narcissist. But he is my father and I had to speak out my truth with my Mum as a witness. I finally can emotionally detach from their toxic marriage. No more toxic family holidays for me. It's going to be lonely for a while, so what? It's always been lonely anyway. I really hope you get better soon🙋🐻🍉🍓🍊
@@EWAMILENAP emotional trauma is the beginning of an illness?? Oh shit.....
Well I've started to turn my life around slowly but surely. I've decided to get back into fighting and practicing African martial arts and reviewing my plans to repatriate to Africa (As an African American Man it's my duty to my Ancestors). That's another reason Ive been really upset. Last summer I was supposed to go to Africa and my family ruined it and I didn't go(personally I think my mom sabotaged it on purpose because I had to get to D.C to catch my flight. Not far from Delaware and I couldn't make it. She goes with her friends to Jamaica by riding all the way to Florida. Hours away. Running late and makes her trip and has fun. Smh). But I've been trying to fix my life for the better and the MMA and traditional African war arts used to help before I stopped...big helping factor with my four mental health disorders....so I wanna get back to doing them soon. Had to recover from surgery but I'm fine so I'm starting everything over again. And I don't deal with them since we all moved in with my big bro but once my life Is back on track I'm outta here and Africa here I come.
Thank you for sharing your story. Very helpful and informative
Oh yeah you're doing it right by getting away from the toxic relatives and toxic friends. They're the worst.
@@atakazulu These mountains that we are carrying on our shoulders, we are only supposed to climb. N.Zebian
Please listen to a song by Bronski Beat - Smalltown Boy. After reading your touching story, the song above resonated with me.
Your life is yours and noone elses, dear atakazulu👼👼👼
@@EWAMILENAP as your story resignates with me as well. And I did watch the video. Felt bad for the guy. Glad he found friends in the end of the video. At times though I relate the emotional pain to taming a beast inside. You keep it tamed so no one gets hurt but instead by not releasing the pain it's making you sick. First mentally. Second spiritually. Third physically. Smh still trying to wrap my head around the fact there are better days ahead and there's a nice girl out there for me. I know there are great things coming. Just have to break free from the dark cloud. But like she said in the video. Gotta acknowledge the pain and go through it to get better. That's why for me I need to personally get back to doing what I love: competitive Martial arts. I also noticed when I stopped doing that(family sabotage) I started losing sanity
@@atakazulu My Mum convinced me to get a psychotherapy and literally 16 sessions heped me to turn my dark, gloomy, depressive thoughts into slightly brighter, less painful ones. Please, Atakazulu, try to do something completely different for once, even if you have doubts at first, to get a totally new, surprisingly positive outcome! It has taken me years of taking medication, major surgery, relationship dramas, divorce and a ton of mental abuse in the meantime to come to a simple conclusion that had I started a psychotherapy mych earlier, I would have saved my body and my mind lots of unnecessary pain a distress. But at the time I had countless excuses not to and the truth is, I didn't feel worthy of getting professional help of a psychotherapy. You have amazing energy! Lots of hugs from U.K. 🍎🍐🍏🍍🥥🥝🍓
I truly needed this..and I'm healing I've been Healing for a while now. I'm so ready for this healing to be over...but I understand that it is a process.
Hi Petra .. thank you so much for your video, you’re such a kind person to share this valuable knowledge with us, sad people (at least for now), I want to thank you for sharing your peaceful energy and kind words. I will do my best to be calm and move on slowly and make myself happy.
Wow!! This is your best video yet! (But they're all good.) Sending many thanks and blessings your way! 🙏🏼💕
Thank you so much for addressing my question Petra. As always you’ve done so very eloquently and clearly and in a way that really resonates with me . Therapy and coaching has helped me massively but it is something that’s a constant work in progress. Lots of love and respect to you for sharing such helpful advice with us all ❤️
Great to hear dirk g the holidays. Because while I have forgiven my parents and accept they were abused themselves I still do not want them in my new home. It’s my sanctuary of peace for my daughters and I. The one space I’ve been able to live in my truth. I’m fine with visiting them for short periods but I no longer will be hosting them in my home because I realize now that I only owe them is respect. But loving myself means respecting what my mind and body warn me against. This was very helpful to put words to how I feel after realizing I was raised by narcissist and codependent then married one too. I’m 6 months separated and in a new city away from them all where I control the interactions. My dad actually just showed up a couple weeks ago without calling and I had to let him know that was not ok and he left. I was so proud of myself.
Heyyyyy Petra, it's always lovely to see you on my RUclips feed. Thank you for making this video, it addresses so many important things at so many levels. ❤
Sometimes I feel lost in my healing. There are some good points in this video, thanks
I love you ❤️ Thank you for sharing these, I feel healed.
Thank you 😊 you nailed it.
Exactly! Thank you! ❣️
❤❤❤ thank you for a helpful video,just came out of this kind of relationship and it is extremely hard for me.
Becare full for narcisist homeless people on the street .don't take Them in your house now with the covid 19 they are hoovering now. On the streets
Thank you so much♥️♥️
So true ❤ dear Petra xxx
Ive very thankful 🌙🙌🏾
This is helpful.
Thank you ❤
❤️❤️❤️❤️ all hearts n lots of love to you
So truth
Thank U x
I have been suppressing my feelings for so long, I ended up in the hospital with a headache, dizzy, and vomiting 🤢.
Love was money i had to bey love and my mother they keep me isolated from my sibelings. So my mother controle ,s the familie
hey petra, how goes it? we have corresponded a few times. just sayin hello
My mother,s brother was adicted to heroïne hé lives in our house when i was born they needed money for their adiction,s
Bless you Ankje, you were surrounded by family who were self soothing their own trauma & couldn't give you the love you deserved.
You DO deserve to be loved for who you are!🤗💖 Love and care for and trust yourself ! You CAN heal and be happy 🎉🤗XXX
Ik had to bey my love of my narcisting mother.
Can distorted love come from someone who is not a narcissist? Or is this trait only present with these people..
Distorted love can come from many angles. In the case of the narcissist, it's conscious behaviour. They can be responsible but they choose not to be. That's where the poison has it's roots.
My favorite is defeating narcissism through study (so I can recognize it about a mile away)❤️🤍💙🇺🇸