If You’re “Physically Unattractive,” Does God Want You Single?

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  • Опубликовано: 13 сен 2024

Комментарии • 287

  • @ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger
    @ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger  Год назад +37

    Getting married must not be the goal of glorifying God. Rather, God wants you to get married to bring him more glory. That's the topic I unpack in my new book, Christ-Centered Dating: Pursuing a Relationship that Glorifies God. For more information about meeting, dating, and marrying the one God has for you, click here: amzn.to/3j3XzyU (Available in paperback, ebook, and audiobook)

  • @therealai777
    @therealai777 Год назад +151

    I know I’m not ugly, I have been told I’m beautiful my whole life and when it comes to guys I’m not hit on very often, but I can tell that majority of the time it’s because of intimidation. It also doesn’t help that I’m soft spoken / quiet, so I’m even harder to talk to.
    I’m turning 25 in April and I’m still very single. Both of my exes are getting married this year, and most of my christian friends are engaged or married, or at least in a committed relationship. It’s VERY hard to not wonder if maybe I am not attractive enough to be pursued.
    I remember one Sunday in church I asked God in my head why no men my age notice me, and I didn’t expect Him to answer, but He told me “I am hiding you from them so when the right one comes you will know it.”
    Ugh sorry for a rambling comment but I am tired of people equating singleness to ugliness. people should consider that maybe God has someone specific picked out for us, and if He allowed us to be seen by all men we would be overwhelmed and wouldn’t be able to see who’s real and who isn’t.

    • @ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger
      @ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger  Год назад +38

      Amen, meeting the one is something that will only happen once, so past "failure" in relationships is not a sign of future singleness.

    • @Lia_872
      @Lia_872 Год назад +15

      We are in the same page .. and I'm 30:)

    • @yontine
      @yontine Год назад +17

      I’m on the same page and I'm 40.

    • @Lia_872
      @Lia_872 Год назад +11

      We should start a group chat hahahahah to keep updated

    • @sunshinesunflowerz1647
      @sunshinesunflowerz1647 Год назад +6

      I am 39 years old and we are in the same boat.

  • @LauraB86284
    @LauraB86284 Год назад +73

    Anyone with a beautiful heart, makes you attractive

    • @ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger
      @ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger  Год назад +16

      Thank you for sharing this! God is good!

    • @shalomleftismisalie3470
      @shalomleftismisalie3470 Год назад +3

      Praise The Lord. Please pray for me

    • @jilliansmith8080
      @jilliansmith8080 9 месяцев назад

      I see your picture if that's you you were not ugly by any means

    • @curtiseisenbeis2484
      @curtiseisenbeis2484 9 месяцев назад +1

      Hey yah I agree with @Jillian stop creating confusion with those that are different they may actually have an ugly appearance. I don't know how you came to you have an ugly appearance. I think your exaggerating your post some.

    • @empressatheism5146
      @empressatheism5146 5 месяцев назад

      plastic

  • @felicia1763
    @felicia1763 Год назад +39

    Most physically unattractive people I've seen can increase their attractiveness score. See which areas you are lacking in and look up how to fix that on RUclips. There's a lot of helpful "glow up" videos for both men and women. I know because I'm going through a "glow up" right now. I am much more attractive than I was before. It's true that the heart is more important than the physical appearance. But that's no reason to stay uncomfortable in your own body. If you've got a problem fix it. I recommend going for natural fixes. For example, if you have a skin problem check out the connection between skin health and food. If you don't like your hair, then ask RUclips or a hairstylist how to make it healthier and stronger. I'd also like to point out that a lot of women in particular are more attractive than they think they are. The closer you get to God the more beautiful you'll feel. You can be absolutely gorgeous and feel ugly if you are too far from God. If you've got a problem, then fix it. At the same time don't be too hard on yourself.

    • @nameirrelevant0
      @nameirrelevant0 8 месяцев назад +1

      1st Peter 3 outlaws "glow-ups." We aren't allowed to let our adornment be outward, likely due to the threat of causing others to lust accidentally.

    • @savedbygracenotworks
      @savedbygracenotworks 3 месяца назад +2

      @@nameirrelevant0no woman has ever been attracted to me I’m gonna glow up anyways

    • @dannyguy2008
      @dannyguy2008 Месяц назад

      @@nameirrelevant0No it doesn’t. Glow ups are a great way to gain confidence and self-assurance. For some people, lowering body fat% can make 100% of the difference in how they are treated and what they become around others.

  • @shannonbenfield703
    @shannonbenfield703 Год назад +56

    I think in some cases feeling unattractive stems from hurtful words from a parent, sibling or authoritative figure. Forgiveness is key to healing. I’m disabled, but I know my life has purpose and meaning in Christ and is not based on others’ shallow opinions. Whether single or married, we are the apple of His eye and are fearfully and wonderfully made. I may not always understand God’s ways, but I can trust His promises, His words and His heart.

    • @ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger
      @ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger  Год назад +10

      Amen, our value comes from God!

    • @stargazingcatgirl3233
      @stargazingcatgirl3233 Год назад +5

      I have a similar issue that's been on my heart recently. I think you're right about how feeling unattractive can come from past childhood hurts. In my case, it's being angry all the time. Lately my unresolved anger is getting stronger and I have been wondering where all this anger is coming from. I've reflected on how I was told I wasn't talented, and it deterred me from pursuing what I love. I'm in a career my heart's not in and it makes me sad. I think my unresolved anger is coming from the damage inflicted on me by those words. Parents, please look at and listen to yourselves, because children are impressionable little sponges.

  • @user-nj5cl6xs4n
    @user-nj5cl6xs4n Год назад +27

    You nailed it. Pride and self pity hinder and harm many.

  • @tothemax2175
    @tothemax2175 3 месяца назад +4

    I am 51 and have never been in a relationship or been on a date. I came to believe in Christ when I was 18. I have prayed for a girlfriend all through my college years, but it never happened. Many rejections took the wind out of my sails on finding a relationship, so I just gave up. All the while, I saw the Christian versions of a "Chad" effortlessly find their future wives.

    • @NikoBellic-zs2ez
      @NikoBellic-zs2ez 3 месяца назад

      Sadly looks matter and some people are too unattractive to find love (I'm one of them) Christians like Mark who say "God has someone for everyone" is lying

  • @jessyjonas4988
    @jessyjonas4988 Год назад +81

    “God saw everything that He had made, and behold, it was very good and He validated it completely. And there was evening and there was morning, a sixth day” Genesis1:31

    • @ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger
      @ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger  Год назад +10

      Amen!

    • @renehernandez881
      @renehernandez881 Год назад

      Hypocrisy!!!!!! There’s unattractive people and i am one of them

    • @tylerappell6811
      @tylerappell6811 9 месяцев назад +4

      And then sin entered the world and physical beauty was spared from its corruption😂😂😂yea ok

    • @TLOH7
      @TLOH7 5 месяцев назад +2

      Yeah, BUT then sin took place and God’s perfect plan got distorted. Everything was made perfect, MEANT to be perfect. Even nature changed (like, flowers started growing thorns), even animals behavior changed towards people when Adam and Eve committed sin…also, don’t forget about deformities. Stop living in a perfect plan that was meant to be perfect but sadly, was ruined. God bless you.

    • @NikoBellic-zs2ez
      @NikoBellic-zs2ez 3 месяца назад

      ​@@TLOH7exactly some people are genuinely ugly myself included

  • @dianaberry8708
    @dianaberry8708 Год назад +24

    Being attractive to me is not just about the physical. It's how one takes care of oneself overall. That could also include ones mental emotional and spiritual state. How one stewards ones finances, home, etc. Note that physical attraction is different for everyone. Not everybody is attracted to the same body type and/or physical features. So being different is okay...

    • @ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger
      @ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger  Год назад +2

      thanks for sharing this!

    • @stevek3666
      @stevek3666 17 дней назад

      Youre a woman,totally different cup than for a man.i cant find a woman because 99,99%im not physically attracted to because most women are flat and for a man physical attraction is much more important

  • @jaygee4411
    @jaygee4411 Год назад +32

    The joke is, I've seen plenty of the socially "less attractive people" find their match and run off into the sunset, while their more attractive peers struggle because of pickiness, indecision, and other issues. God bless them, happy for them!

    • @cokta006
      @cokta006 4 месяца назад +1

      So to translate: unatractive people stay together because both partners know they cant do any better.
      And if they leave the current date, it could lead to potential lonliness for the rest of their life.

    • @jaygee4411
      @jaygee4411 4 месяца назад +1

      @@cokta006 lolol in essence yes, but if they are happy and attractive to each other then they have won! Some ppl will never be satisfied even if they have something good

  • @nappyfries
    @nappyfries Год назад +14

    I haven’t even watched the video yet but omg the title! lol I know it’s easy for people to think this about themselves but even attractive people have a hard time finding someone at times.

    • @ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger
      @ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger  Год назад +4

      Amen, I felt compelled to finally make this video after being asked this question so many times over the years!

  • @carlaturner5783
    @carlaturner5783 Год назад +18

    Proverbs 31:30- Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised.
    Many are being deceived into wrong relationships because they look on the outside. I Samuel 16: 7- (God looks at the heart.) We are all fearfully and wonderfully made by God. We must believe this; there are so many who feel unworthy.

  • @ThankyouJesusGirl
    @ThankyouJesusGirl Год назад +18

    Reading the comments and seeing you respond to all types of comments and also the way you respond with integrity and referring to the Word, just warms my heart. Thank you, I truly feel like you are one of the few God send man on youtube. Currently reading `The One`. God bless you and your family.

  • @devonpeters9458
    @devonpeters9458 Год назад +13

    This is incredibly timely for something I’m currently processing, through. Thank you.

  • @CompleteInJesus
    @CompleteInJesus Год назад +5

    I have a severe disability. We talked about the point you made about disability on our channel. Thanks for your video and explaining this thoughtfully!

  • @winyonzentrada
    @winyonzentrada Год назад +6

    In terms of sheer physical attraction, you can always go to the gym. Healthy is attractive. Then there is the heart, how you've dealt with your heart. And as Christians, our walk with God, closeness and intimacy with Him.

  • @matg3802
    @matg3802 Год назад +8

    There is a lot that can make people physically attractive. You must maintain your health at a proper body weight and work out. You must also be spiritualy ready, but if you don't love yourself you don't take care of your physical appearance, making you unattractive.

  • @dragonspade6118
    @dragonspade6118 Год назад +9

    As 22 year old who has a unique and different personality, and who is also introverted, is struggle all on its own. But since I am guy I know I have to initiate the invitation and ask women out on a date. And while I have been pushing myself out of that comfort zone and simply asking “Hey, if you are available would like to get coffee and get to know each other more?” Even then I have been faced nothing but rejection and no’s. And I have to be honest, that is extremely discouraging. I changed my self-image, approaches and everything but to no avail. A little story that happened earlier this week: I was bowling with the guys from my church small group. I looked over and there was girl that was bowling next to us. We both saw each other and started small talk and it lead to convos. I asked if she wanted to grab lunch sometime. She responded with “I don’t know. I have been pretty busy recently. I said i understand completely. Minutes later I see her handing her phone to another guy in the small group I was in and asked for his number and asked if he wanted to hang out. I sat there in disbelief and was hurt by it little. In that moment, I have to be honest I felt like I wasn’t even a choice. I also asked the Lord, “Why?”. “When I will come a cross that gal I have been praying for all theses years?” “When will the rejection finally lead to a green light yes?” “Who is going to be the gal, on our honeymoon after the wedding, that will see the love letters that I have wrote to her every week in faith that the Lord can do it and that it’s a way of showing my appreciation to her and especially the Lord?” I have been looking to Him for answers and prayed that He would speak to me about it and all I hear is silence. At times I do ask myself on occasion, “Am I not cute or attractive enough?” But then I know throw that question aside because I know only Satan would bring that thought into my my mind. All of that to say this: It’s really hard. Really, really, really, REALLLY hard. Especially when i know people around me are getting engaged and married or staring to get in a serious relationship. I definitely need prayer and I just need some encouragement in this season of my life, especially from the Lord. It’s hard believing He’s going to pull out an amazing gal in my life that I can all my best friend and that walk hand and hand with them on the path of the Lord and all I come across is rejection, being left on read, or even stood up. But despite all that I’m just trying to believe that He will pull through and that despite my disadvantages, there will be woman out there that will love and appreciate my goof, awkward, chivalrous, shy, and deep personality and all that will give me the time of day.

    • @nateE5836
      @nateE5836 Год назад +4

      You are 22! Not 32 or 42.
      Your age group is still immature and thinking SHORT TERM.
      It sounds like you want something genuine and LONG TERM. That takes maturity from others!
      For now, listen to Mark, build yourself up, and in time I would also suggest travel to a different country or environment. You will be amazed at how people connect when they are both "foreign" to each other.

    • @SweetSerenadeXyWem
      @SweetSerenadeXyWem Год назад +1

      Thank you for sharing your story with us. The wait is hard, but I think as long as we approach it as proactive waiting (like you do, actually ask people out), God hopefully eventually connects us to the one we are meant to be with. So let's wait together :)

    • @naomisoeters9996
      @naomisoeters9996 Год назад +1

      Thank you for sharing your story so honestly. I know the waiting is hard, I can relate... But God has really taught me that this is my season of maturing first (in my walk with the Lord, in patience, in my emotions, in everything really) in order to be the wife that He has designed for my future husband. I am sure that He is also helping my future husband to become the man that God has for me... so that when the time comes, we can together make a marriage work that will glorify the Lord. I want to encourage you to keep seeking the Lord in all you do, in all you think and all you wonder. His timing is perfect so if you didn’t met your wife yet, then you and her are probably not ready yet and the circumstances are still in the making. Trust in Him and stand your ground, He is working on his plan for you even when you can’t see it (yet).
      In light of that you can see the rejections as a blessing (even when they really don't feel like a blessing), it means that those girls are not your wife so you don’t have to waste time and emotions on them. (At least that's how I view those situations) 😉
      Praying for you! 💛

    • @anaeyachipo7854
      @anaeyachipo7854 Год назад +1

      Wow your story is really interesting trust me the day your special someone will Be able to read what you wrote for her she will be happy beyond words. God has her waiting for you too ... just keep on tagging at your father in heaven for what you desire ... He is already preparing her for you ❤️

    • @badz5569
      @badz5569 Год назад +2

      same feeling 😢 I'm 41... I'm a christian...but so hard, struggle all the way of being myself "Not really attractive" to the point i hate myself now, even i know all these are trials and circumstance, (not only in view of marriage, also friends, work etc.) til now the rejection and neglect still there been so sad so hurtful.. turn to painful now... I'm so really down, i felt now God neglect and reject me too, sorry if i say this... because I don't understand now, His will 💔

  • @johnmark1582
    @johnmark1582 Год назад +7

    Thank you so much Mark for touching on this subject, I can't ever remember someone covering this

  • @missmlb3842
    @missmlb3842 Год назад +2

    This was what I needed. I have been battling this for years. Thank you so much for explaining this so clearly. This spreads into so many other areas in my life and this finally put a finger on the issue. Pride..."I am not pretty enough...I am not good enough"...etc.Thank you for making this so practical that now I can attack this at the root.

  • @dwightwilliams311
    @dwightwilliams311 9 месяцев назад +4

    I have been praying to God for a wife. It's over 13 years praying, but nothing happens. I am now 33 years old with no children. I begged God many times in prayers. I have seen other people who don't pray and find good wives except for me. I feel rejected by God and it hurts to my soul to the core till I am spiritually scared.

    • @roninthesecond3600
      @roninthesecond3600 6 месяцев назад +1

      He is no answering then that should be clear you are not ment for it. Once you learn that the pain will go away. I learned no matter what self improvement or career changes I made he kept me single. No matter how much weight I lost or dressing better. Just accept being alone and hope you pass early.

    • @Shortyjored88
      @Shortyjored88 4 месяца назад

      Join the club! I'm 42 years old, unmarried virgin.

  • @elflood10
    @elflood10 Год назад +1

    Thank you for making this video. Everything you said was spot on. Especially that people who blame their looks for being single often times are masking a character issue.

  • @stargazingcatgirl3233
    @stargazingcatgirl3233 Год назад +8

    Je repete... Parents, please listen and look at yourselves when speaking to your kids. They are impressionable little sponges, and their little spirits are broken at the drop of a hat. If they don't get validation from you, they'll never have the foundation to face a world that's sometimes brutal. I feel insecure about not being talented, and it comes from what I was told as a child. I didn't pursue what I loved because I didn't think I was good enough. I believe that feeling unattractive has a similar cause.

  • @rogerbrady2003rab
    @rogerbrady2003rab Год назад +4

    You are beautiful the way God made you let that sink in.
    For me I know He has a plan wether it be being single or being married i leave it up to him.

  • @MCharlerySmith
    @MCharlerySmith Год назад +8

    Yep, you got it right! This could've been two hours! 😆
    It was pointed out in a teaching once that the Bible doesn't describe mankind's beauty or appearance until after the fall where becomes commonplace, and in the New Testament it goes back to that by mostly describing character and behaviour instead physical attributes. There's a lesson here.
    Ecclesiastes 8:1b says
    A man’s wisdom makes his face shine. The hard look on his face is changed.
    I believe that many people whose souls have been tainted by the world experience a massive uptick in attraction when they come to Christ and begin to "apply His Word 😁" to their hearts and minds. Instead of charming people with lies and seduction they win people through grace and wisdom. That makes you a friend to your peers and a great lover to your spouse. 🙏🏾✝️ 😇

  • @elim7489
    @elim7489 Год назад +4

    Thank you, Mark! You have spoken to my heart. This is what I needed to listen to. God bless you always!

  • @joannefoster3949
    @joannefoster3949 Год назад +1

    Thank you for sharing your honesty. I do feel attraction is important, and it’s not spoken about enough. What is attractive is different for everyone. I think you said it perfectly there needs to be some kind of baseline attraction or connection. That connection is all part of feeling seen, safe and certain with someone because of their spirit.

  • @David_Bradley_73
    @David_Bradley_73 Год назад +5

    some people are so physically hot looking that other Christian singles assume that they have bad intent... instead of getting to know there personality. this is also a Big problem.

  • @nicolelang3109
    @nicolelang3109 Год назад +3

    God does not think any of his children are ugly! He loves us all!

    • @Linkin-qb7fy
      @Linkin-qb7fy 9 месяцев назад

      Yes but we are still in the world and you cannot eradicate that. We still want to feel attractive to someone

    • @user-zr4ik5ob4l
      @user-zr4ik5ob4l 8 месяцев назад

      ​@@Linkin-qb7fytrue

  • @YoungTee-st4js
    @YoungTee-st4js Год назад +5

    Your videos help me so much, God bless 🙏🏽🙏🏽

  • @RatchetSprite1
    @RatchetSprite1 11 месяцев назад +1

    WOW!!
    “I didn’t say a godly man/woman would be attractive to everyone,
    I said, a godly man/woman won’t be unattractive to everyone.”
    Never heard that before! Facts!!!

  • @pamwatkins4855
    @pamwatkins4855 Год назад +1

    Smart, intelligent Mark, love it, thank u 4 exposing this problem, I love this, need solitude and grateful to be here, thanks so much, Mark

  • @kevindavis4709
    @kevindavis4709 Год назад +2

    Some people don’t catch the physical attraction teaching if they listen, they were here personality. Attraction matters, also. 🙂

  • @imkeleima
    @imkeleima Год назад +5

    some people find me ugly but sometimes I feel pretty and sometimes I am hurt from their eyes that looked at me unattractive and so I look always at my mirror and slowly believed them.

  • @evasccl7846
    @evasccl7846 Год назад +2

    I agree with what you explained here Mark.
    The way I look at it, is that God created each one of us in His image and likeness... uniquely. I think of flowers, the same God that created us, created the flowers and look at how many different varieties, shapes, sizes, colours etc...
    If you actually pick 2 daises... you can still spot differences between the two, isn't that amazing? So they are beautiful on their own and beautiful when mixed in a bouquet! :) Some people would prefer tulips, others would be red roses, etc... but it does not make the rest of the flowers ugly!
    When it comes to people, it is the same. The person that I find attractive, may not necessarily be attractive to other people... that is where the beauty is hahaha, likewise, a man may find me attractive and others not, and that is okay too!
    Also... I never liked to see people for their exterior, so, to me, being attractive goes beyond the mere physical which is temporary, it actually digs deep into the person's character, core values, principles and standards.... those are what to me, when shared, I find most attractive, and those are aspects that take a lot of prayer, communication and intention to both showcase and see, appreciate in one another.
    God is the creator of masterpieces... there will be someone better than me, worse than me but none like me! And this applies to every single human being... isn't this beautiful and exciting at the same time??
    Thank you for making this video, which I will be sharing with some friends! God bless you, your family and your ministry!

  • @JesusIsKing3221
    @JesusIsKing3221 4 месяца назад

    I never loved the way I look, never even liked the way I look. I grew up in a dysfunctional family and have so much trauma just with them. Then past relationships were a disaster, my last one I was with for 5 years and he was very manipulative and controlling and narcissistic and both emotionally and physically abusive. He acted like he was attracted to me but he wasn’t. He didn’t want me but hated the thought of someone else having me because he knew I have one of the kindest and most caring heart! My parents used to bring me to church as a child but stopped before I was even a pre-teen. I’m 22 years old now and I found one of the most amazing church, Pastor Marcy knew I was holding onto all the pain I’ve endured my whole life. We worshiped God and Marcy prayed for me and told me that God loves me, God is proud of me, and I’m not only a worshipper but a worship leader. She said I have music in me, and I love to worship God. She told me God is so happy with me and told me God says to not to be anybody else, just be me! She said God is going to heal me and set me free. And she is so right! I felt God’s presence that day! I’ve been putting my focus on God to become as close to HIM and as faithful to HIM as possible! I want to grow my relationship with our great Lord & Savior!
    My fiancee and I went to the church together, they voice recorded so my fiancee and I can listen to it whenever we feel and I listen to it almost everyday! I struggle with insecurities so much but I am working on being secure and understanding and just knowing that God does love me, He does have great things in store for me. My fiancé has a family friend and her name is Summer. Summer has the give of praying to God and God comes to her and tells her things through feelings and words(God doesn’t speak to her in sentences, He speaks to her in words) Summer told me that God has planned for me peace, happiness, and joy. Those are all things I’ve never really felt until I started seeking our Lord! I will start loving myself for the way I look because I know I am made perfectly in Gods eyes! God has his hands on me, He will never take them off! I will never stop seeking God! I will live for God.
    With all that being said Mark, thank you so much for these videos! I listen to your videos everyday! I hope you know how much you help me and thousands if not millions of others! You are doing an amazing job, you have helped me become closer to God and I will never forget that. Thank you so much! ❤

  • @AdrianIsaacs
    @AdrianIsaacs 10 месяцев назад +3

    Try being an unattractive guy with a below average height. That's a double disadvantage right there. You can say it's unattractive to complain about it. Truth is, I don't complain about it very often--not in real life, anyway. I'm not blind to other character flaws. I actually have tried to work on my personality, social skills, etc. to make myself more desirable. It doesn't seem to work, though.

    • @user-zr4ik5ob4l
      @user-zr4ik5ob4l 8 месяцев назад

      True.and not to be rude to mark but he honestly has no right to speak on this .he isn't genuinely ugly .he is totally clueless to genuine uglies

    • @user-zr4ik5ob4l
      @user-zr4ik5ob4l 7 месяцев назад

      True.funny enough you never hear or see genuine unattractive people downplay looks

  • @robbiemckenzie7822
    @robbiemckenzie7822 3 месяца назад +3

    God made me how he made me.... I was teased ridiculed and my childhood was hell.. I'm 48 and the life I wanted for myself I didn't have the talent or beauty for. Character defects I may have? Well I am a sinner and no one is perfect. People tell me that I should not grieve what I didnt get to have but instead embrace what God may have for me..... and I say no.... there are others out there who got to be beautiful got to have their dreams come true..... The Bible doesn't guarantee us happiness and he will give misery to anyone if it will bring him glory. And while being ugly doesn't mean God wants you to be single being ugly sure can lessen your chances. I just wish he'd never created me. There are only two terrible options of where I can go after death and while here I'm forced to live a holy life whilst most enjoy the world and can be forgiven later ...

    • @cierrarorick1566
      @cierrarorick1566 2 месяца назад

      Don't be discourage my friend,I understand your frustrations and have often asked why I wasn't made to even look average(let alone attractive) and it certainly has limited the options I have in life.Sometimes as a blessing in disguise but other times I can't understand why God would do this.However here is what I do know... 1. Man looks at the outward appearance while the Lord looks at the heart ,so the creator of the universe,love itself, thought you were worth dying for regardless of outward appearance and 2. One day in the new heaven and Earth we will receive new bodies and God himself will wipe away every year from our eyes.So even though life is hard on Earth it WILL get better one day and we can have hope in that. In fact I think it'd be more concerning if we enjoyed life on Earth and didn't long for that better world/life to come.Lastly I leave you with a verse that has been of comfort to me oftentimes when life feels like it constantly filled with sorrow
      Mathew 5:3-11
      “Blessed are the poor in spirit,
      for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
      4 Blessed are those who mourn,
      for they will be comforted.
      5 Blessed are the meek,
      for they will inherit the earth.
      6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
      for they will be filled.
      7 Blessed are the merciful,
      for they will be shown mercy.
      8 Blessed are the pure in heart,
      for they will see God.
      9 Blessed are the peacemakers,
      for they will be called children of God.
      10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
      for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
      11 “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

  • @luckywilson9540
    @luckywilson9540 9 месяцев назад +2

    God made me ugly and forced me to be single.... He wrote my life i didnt

  • @pointbreak2811
    @pointbreak2811 Год назад +4

    I'm what you call and ugly duckling and it's a little different. I'm still used to being unattractive. These days, It can be hard because of temptations but I know I must follow God's will. Sometimes being attractive can open a can of worms especially if your ego and shallowness plays a part in it.

  • @David-dy3bb
    @David-dy3bb Год назад +2

    If there is one statement that I believe it's that "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder". What looks good to one person is not necessarily going to look good to another.

  • @ryanspencerlauderdale687
    @ryanspencerlauderdale687 Год назад +2

    Mark has officially become a dating and relationship coach without knowing it.

  • @dmoody-hs7zj
    @dmoody-hs7zj Год назад +2

    I personally don't want people validating my looks. When the off person here and there says I am beautiful, I don't believe them in my heart, but I say thank you regardless to be polite. I do have a permanent negative outlook about my appearance though because my foster father who raised me not only looked at me in disgust but not all the other girls but he also used to say that I am ugly and would not be anything but an old maid and used to joke with the other foster kids that my brain was the size of a crumb. That was many years ago now. I remember as a little girl before living there. I looked in the mirror, always thinking I was beautiful, but he changed that for me. What cemented it, though, was that over the years, I have gotten ugly comments from guys, dog sounds, and laughter, and any guys I dated always asked me out after they were turned down from the pretty girls. I'm only a human being, and I was born to feel a lot when it comes to emotions, so to say I was destroyed by all this is an understatement. There's no coming back from this so if a guy truly wanted to be with me for me and I was his first choice and all the dreamy stuff I would never believe it or be able to trust it. All this, BTW is just one of the emotionally devastating things I have suffered in my life. I'm between a rock and a hard place. I desire to be loved by a man, but I can never trust one or feel good.

    • @SanctifiedPodcast
      @SanctifiedPodcast Год назад +1

      Hey I love you 💕 you matter and God created you for a reason. Thank Lord for placing her here

  • @jannealatalo1777
    @jannealatalo1777 Месяц назад +1

    Easy for an attractive man to say.

  • @LovelyLadyLissett
    @LovelyLadyLissett Год назад +2

    I had to click on this I'm sorry but it made me crack up! God bless!

  • @nicole09999
    @nicole09999 Год назад +3

    Looks have nothing to do with being single unless you’re overweight….Or have unrealistic expectations.

  • @Mindsetolympics
    @Mindsetolympics Год назад +2

    You have to know whether single or married God loves you and finds you beautiful as a child of God.
    Even people with deformities and handicaps can even be attracted/attractive to other people with handicaps/deformities. You just gotta know your audience but at the same time be unbothered about whether or not men or women as a whole are checking for you.

    • @eyethumfazwe
      @eyethumfazwe Год назад +1

      Yes❤ Also some people without disabilities are married to people with disabilities.

  • @nebraskag7130
    @nebraskag7130 Год назад

    Very well said Mark!! God bless

  • @dirtcop11
    @dirtcop11 Год назад +2

    In Proverbs 31 Solomon describes a woman who is prized above rubies. Rubies are very valuable. He described her character and her industry, nowhere in his description did he mention how she looked. Being beautiful inwardly makes you attractive outwardly. Also when a man has a good character, is kind, and shows concern for others becomes attractive as well. Often, the way we present ourselves is a reflection of what is inside our hearts.

    • @manseth2811
      @manseth2811 Год назад

      Not necessarily so at all. Some evil people and psychopaths are outwardly attractive!

  • @MonicaAndLulu
    @MonicaAndLulu Год назад

    This video was so helpful thank you so much

  • @KatieAJ
    @KatieAJ Год назад +1

    Interesting...it's kind of sad that people now ask this kind of question.

  • @debbiesittard7979
    @debbiesittard7979 Год назад +3

    How can a person created in the image of GOD be unattractive or ugly? That’s telling GOD He made a mistake! Yes, we are to practice good hygiene and keep ourselves as best we can. But sex is NOT what a relationship/ marriage should be based upon. If a man or woman sees nothing but your face or body then you’ve got trouble from the start. Inner beauty and character. GOD looks at the heart and so should we.

  • @chriscomeaux3354
    @chriscomeaux3354 Год назад +1

    Physical attraction is necessary but not sufficient

  • @hmmm...............
    @hmmm............... Год назад +1

    I know your videos are trying to help people, but your videos have left me unbelievably depressed and hopeless. It doesn't matter what videos I watch. I am thoroughly convinced that god never wanted me to marry and I am incredibly depressed coming to that realization.

  • @tracyoguntokun4284
    @tracyoguntokun4284 Год назад +10

    Amen 🙏✝️🙏😇❤️

  • @beachstreet101
    @beachstreet101 8 месяцев назад

    People desire to be physically attracted to a partner typically. As one grows older this may be less of importance for someone as they just want companionship. In the end you want to at least be able to be friends with the person, but physical attraction tends to be a key factor before even bothering with someone. But there are also people that are sapiosexual as some call it which is really just a fancy word for someone that is primarily attracted to intelligence over looks.

  • @ricklamb772
    @ricklamb772 2 месяца назад

    The story of Lazarus and the rich man,answers that question ,with a yes,Jesus and the deciples lived poor lives,to not be overcome by Satan in their flesh.

  • @mariasurikova702
    @mariasurikova702 Год назад +1

    I like this video. Thank you.

  • @DemonDavisK
    @DemonDavisK Год назад +1

    In the end, your "future spouse " is probably married to another person or fooling around while most Christians yearn for marriage. Unbelievers are bless with marriage regardless the situation. Ugly or not, most need to cling on
    Though He slay me, still I will Trust Him.

  • @NathanSmutz
    @NathanSmutz Год назад

    After I met my mother's cousin, my mom asked me if I saw the big scar on her face. I didn't. Nobody does unless they know it's there and look for it. It had to do with who she was on the inside and people seeing "her" more than her face.
    Getting to that point is a big deal. It seems like a leap. If people didn't notice an issue, one could be less self-conscious about it; but, I think, being un-self-conscious is part of what can make stuff like that less important or visible to others.

  • @Andrew-eo5bv
    @Andrew-eo5bv Год назад

    Another great video.

  • @EmmeStAnne
    @EmmeStAnne Год назад

    There is also such a thing as being too attractive and it scaring people away.

  • @shelbymichaels
    @shelbymichaels Год назад +2

    Thank you 🙏🙌

  • @zellanutellaa
    @zellanutellaa 9 месяцев назад

    I have to say yes.
    I think being average at least in my case it’s because marriage, having a partner and kids just isn’t in the cards for me.
    That’s not what god wants for me he wants me to do something else in my life..I’ve grown content with this.

  • @oneisone2841
    @oneisone2841 Год назад

    I've been waiting for dis

  • @Idontgothatway
    @Idontgothatway Год назад +1

    I don’t think it’s fair when physically attractive people are expected to settle for someone who isn’t “as attractive”. Someone can be attractive, successful, good hearted, and religious. It’s not impossible.

    • @ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger
      @ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger  Год назад +5

      You should definitely be attracted to someone if you date them and marry them. You just don't want to lead with that as the main requirement. It's important but not as important as the other factors. But yes, God doesn't require people to marry if they are not attracted :)

  • @marila6314
    @marila6314 Год назад

    super Marc!!!

  • @fedicini123
    @fedicini123 Год назад

    I think a big reason people are self conscious is how dating apps force you to focus on superficial qualities. Your goal is to pretty much act fake by using edited photos, an "about me" that says just how successful you are and some indication that you're living the high life. And when you see these profiles, you just feel like nothing in comparison.

  • @amandaathanas4027
    @amandaathanas4027 Год назад +1

    I agree with everything you said, but felt that the alluding to a female needing to be attractive enough to cause arousal in a potential mate ignored the same truth as it concerns a female’s ability to be aroused by the male… It isn’t ONLY about the male’s sexual interest in the female. I do believe the male should do the pursuing, but on the other hand, females’ tastes/interests are not of “no account.” We aren’t just expected to be okay with any male who finds us attractive if we don’t likewise find them sexually attractive. You did refer to parity in terms of appearance, but it isn’t ONLY the male’s sexual arousal that counts. Females need to be able to be aroused by the male as well. Females ARE less shallow in general than men (even Christian men) when it comes to appearance and what we find sexy, but there is a limit to how unsexy a man can be.

    • @Linkin-qb7fy
      @Linkin-qb7fy 9 месяцев назад

      Yeah what you stated is probably from hatred. Women are substantially more shallow than men in terms of looks you just spoke a lie 😂 women are shallow with their own looks. Women normally don't.want men for looks but to use them for gain or money even so called Christian women in America. But I have seen many men with women that are not very attractive so to generalize is not wise

  • @dianaaavula4306
    @dianaaavula4306 Год назад +1

    Waiting for you master still.

  • @ceesevenhundred
    @ceesevenhundred Год назад

    There is no woman more beautiful than my freedom, and my AR 10.

  • @vania698
    @vania698 Год назад

    Thank you so much!

  • @katherinepainter6857
    @katherinepainter6857 8 месяцев назад +2

    I found a wonderful Christian man who left me for another "better" Christian woman who was younger, blonde, gorgeous, talented etc. I have given up now as I cannot compete with such women. Men will always choose "the best" for marriage and I am not enough. Therefore I believe this is wrong. I did once beleive love was in the soul but not now

  • @SDReelsOnline
    @SDReelsOnline Год назад +1

    I've seen many unattractive people in relationships. In fact, an unattractive woman stole someone from me. Men do not care about looks.

    • @champion3859
      @champion3859 Год назад

      Sabrina Yes you’re right dawg women only care about looks🙂

    • @SDReelsOnline
      @SDReelsOnline Год назад

      @@champion3859 not necessarily.

    • @champion3859
      @champion3859 Год назад

      @@SDReelsOnline Yes women only like handsome men or rich men that’s a fact and it’s an eternal truth as well. True love only comes from Men not from women🙂.

  • @sulusu4812
    @sulusu4812 Год назад

    It's interesting because truly there's no unattractive save someone being mean, rude ect. Even the "most " attractive, when they're mean or rude it's ugly personified. We all seriously have so many beautiful gorgeous traits it's amazing. Lastly, isn't it wonderful that we have eternity? No one will be left without the choice of marriage or having kids ect. Think of those who've died at young age- no loving heavenly father would not give eternity to all for these righteous desires

  • @divayanche1
    @divayanche1 Год назад +1

    What of people who develop things like diabetes etc later in life. Would that be looked as a poor reflection on them?

  • @familievk6447
    @familievk6447 Год назад +2

    You can be physically beautiful, but a faithfull and godly guy or girl is something that godly men/woman seek rather than beauty. Its a completly different world haha.

    • @Linkin-qb7fy
      @Linkin-qb7fy 9 месяцев назад

      But I like to still be physically attractive to someone

  • @jilliansmith8080
    @jilliansmith8080 9 месяцев назад

    Scripture, yes, but physical aperiance is important . My husband would not have picked me if I wasn't pretty. I couldn't Imagine not being unatractive. My aunt is so unatractive and will never be wanted. How can God can be so cruel? Shes depressed and it makes her sick all the time. Shes a beautiful on the inside but that is not enough. No one can help her. Shes no longer able to even have children. And she Thought God wouldnt disapoint her. Well here we are. Thats all she talked about growing up with having her own family to take care of. I love my aunt and she deserves better than the cards she was given. My mother and I never had issued dating or marriage. My husband knows if he cheets or leaves or misstreats me that i am highly saught after I'll be OK. Another will be right around the corner. I'm trying to help her I don't want her to suffer anymore.... I'm sorry but your god is so cruel

    • @roninthesecond3600
      @roninthesecond3600 6 месяцев назад

      Women like repulse me especially what you said about your aunt. You have no idea what is like to be unattractive.

  • @christinevanzyl5951
    @christinevanzyl5951 Год назад

    Thank goodness u said "no" it is not on physical appearance. I know ladies who are so non pretty but the Spirit is so strong in them 😂 that they can attract guys of all ages but dont use that. They choose to witness for the Lord rather than being a "poppie" (doll in Afrikaans). ❤ ur videos

  • @johnmark1582
    @johnmark1582 Год назад

    Another, similar, concern that is out there is: if we are in our older years ( 50s/60s ), would this be an indicator that God has called us to be single?

  • @Jaycub-num33r
    @Jaycub-num33r 5 месяцев назад

    If you're a 4 in the looks department, you should be expecting to date a 4 or lower. It's possible but not probable to date above your attractiveness level. Sometimes you gotta settle for what's realistic.

  • @enngee2339
    @enngee2339 Год назад +1

    Anyone have any suggestions for how to make an emotional connection with a guy when guys never approach? What about making a connection and guarding your heart at the same time?
    I don't have male friends. I've been part of singles' ministries for a few years and no one has asked me out even casually. My female friends of all ages say I'm good and even a few older women claimed me as a DIL 🤣 but their sons said no without knowing me, just seeing my picture.
    I just don't understand how "getting together" works.

  • @justaguitarplayer2059
    @justaguitarplayer2059 Год назад +2

    “Well I was made too ugly so I’ll just be single “. Hahaha. Rings so true ….it’s ok being unattractive….who you are matters a lot more …and American woman are for the streets anyways , so unless you plan on leaving the country, you’re not missing out …

  • @shalomleftismisalie3470
    @shalomleftismisalie3470 Год назад

    Praise The Lord

  • @curtiseisenbeis2484
    @curtiseisenbeis2484 9 месяцев назад

    But sometimes its extremely hard to tell what the reason is, this week its because I think I am ugly, next week I challenge that theory, its my personality, next week who am I kidding I am ugly duck haha.
    Its not always as easy as you would think it is. Sometimes I wonder if I actually am unable to tell if its because I am actually arrogant or in some kind of denial about what is wrong with me. I have been wondering that and I am been trying to zoom in to isolate that. I AM SOOO WILLING TO COMPROMISE, I know you should not rate women at out of 10 with looks, but for the sake of saving time saying everything I am interested in. I am willing to compromise with like a 4 and I cant even find 3's that are Christian.

  • @abramsalinas1004
    @abramsalinas1004 Год назад

    I've had young women and women older than me say I'm good looking but my pocket book isn't want they think they need.

  • @focus2099
    @focus2099 Год назад +1

    Yes

  • @peternincompoop9553
    @peternincompoop9553 Год назад

    I think that God has someone for everyone. I know that He has someone who's perfect for me & that I'll eventually meet them. Just not in this life.

    • @krissyhall2838
      @krissyhall2838 Год назад +2

      We don't marry in heaven just so you know :)

    • @user-zr4ik5ob4l
      @user-zr4ik5ob4l 8 месяцев назад

      No he doesn't.God never promises everyone a spouse

    • @user-zr4ik5ob4l
      @user-zr4ik5ob4l 8 месяцев назад

      ​@@krissyhall2838true

  • @rickybobby9797
    @rickybobby9797 Год назад +2

    The truth is physically attractive people will diminish the importance of physical attractiveness because they don’t understand how easy they actually have it in life. The fact is attractive people have a much easier time inter-relating with others because physicality matters…a lot! The studies actually show this. Simply put, God could care less whether you find anyone. He executed His own son for His own purposes. Your just a means to an end….The more you suffer, the more God gets out of it! Scripture proves this out.

  • @holyenforcer8200
    @holyenforcer8200 Год назад

    I’m a Christian but I had to adapt to survive because I always had to fight for thing cause I was always bullied ergo Christian punk

  • @renehernandez881
    @renehernandez881 Год назад

    I’m unattractive. I can’t seek God because the way i feel and at the end the loving God that you preach about will send me to burn in hell

  • @kienace
    @kienace Год назад

    I have disability so I accept my fate to be single untiil I die

  • @datadoesdorian
    @datadoesdorian 11 месяцев назад

    It's always kinda weird when the hot white married pastor speaks on this. Lol

  • @1terriblesouthamerican134
    @1terriblesouthamerican134 Год назад

    Omg yay!

  • @michaelsamuels9901
    @michaelsamuels9901 7 месяцев назад

    Yep

  • @marcellofunhouse1234
    @marcellofunhouse1234 Год назад

    Why didn't God cure my mom's cancer....? Three weeks ago she's gone now people prayed and it did nothing

    • @Ash_Queen16
      @Ash_Queen16 Год назад +1

      We don’t have the answers to everything. I’m sorry for your loss

    • @marcellofunhouse1234
      @marcellofunhouse1234 Год назад

      @@Ash_Queen16 it should of been me not her

    • @christophersnyderfunnyman89
      @christophersnyderfunnyman89 Год назад +3

      I'm sorry for your loss I lost my grandmother 2 years ago cancer as well. She knew the Lord so even though it hurts I take comfort in that. It's okay to be angry. It's a stage of grief when we lose a loved one. Look up 1st Peter chapter 4 verses 12 through 19. Romans 8 28. May the Lord give you peace and comfort surpasses all understanding.

    • @Godestablishes
      @Godestablishes Год назад

      Sorry for your loss 😢 We may not get exactly what we are praying for, like in your case, physical cure from cancer for your mom. Healing can be spiritual, emotional, mental, physical. Maybe God worked in one or two of those aspects. Yet we can still Trust His Omniscience. Isaiah 55:8 says, "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways," says the Lord. May the Lord Jesus comfort you.🙏🏼

    • @marcellofunhouse1234
      @marcellofunhouse1234 Год назад +1

      @@Godestablishes that just means God let my mom die

  • @roninthesecond3600
    @roninthesecond3600 6 месяцев назад

    Yes it is I stopped praying for someone. I took the hint I'm dying alone. At my age it would happened by now, push women are more picker than ever.

  • @unknowncody4419
    @unknowncody4419 Год назад

    Hello.
    Please make a video about overcoming retro active jealousy.

  • @oshiondagreat2306
    @oshiondagreat2306 Год назад

    And all of this is said by someone with movie star good looks. Its like having wound and instead of it healing life finds a way to pour a pound of hot salt into it to amplify the agony. 😢😢😢😢

    • @user-zr4ik5ob4l
      @user-zr4ik5ob4l 8 месяцев назад +1

      Agreed .mark shouldn't have even spoken on this

  • @mondaymuli
    @mondaymuli Год назад +2

    Question is , how do you know if you are ugly ?😂

    • @champion3859
      @champion3859 Год назад

      Monday if you’re dark skinned, bad facial features, bad hair, bad body and bad face🙂 then you’re not attractive

    • @user-zr4ik5ob4l
      @user-zr4ik5ob4l 5 месяцев назад +1

      No one ever shows interest in you like ever